When i was growing up my father was really depressed, as i discovered recently, so he never really spent time with me. My mom has always been overprotective, and almost too loving. I think it was partially genetics, as well, they're both pretty eccentric.

As for traumatic experiences-i was bullied a lot in jr. and middle schools, in about grade 5 i started to take anger managment counseling, and Ritalin, the ritalin wasn't so bad, but looking back, anger management made me a completely passive-agressive, insecure little fucktard... so, thanks.

ITT faggots justify being a faggot to themselves, then circle jerk

i'd never let my little sister give me injections

WHEN I WAS 20 MY FATHER REVEALED HIS DANCE TO ME

IT WAS THE MASH

>>2741549
My overprotective mother that smothered me until I got to middle school. That made me in elementary school one of the lamest kids around. Then in middle school I went to a Catholic school where boys and girls took classes in different classrooms, so I basically didn't make any female friends until the last year.
In high school I became popular magically, but I never overcame my social retardation. I feel really awkward around people I don't know but once the ice is broken I'm the friendliest guy ever. Thing is, I just don't know how to break the ice and I also don't have the confidence to pick up random girls on the street or in bars.

Oh, right now my other problem is that I moved somewhere else and I don't have a wingman. I need a wingman.

don't we have enough of these fucking threads....seems 90% of threads lately are about how pathetic everyone is. you're scaring away the people who actually know how to function

got stabbed by a gang when I was 17

gained fears of going out

slowly turned into a recluse leading me to wasting time on the internet

I'm 20 now, I was really sociable, I have the skills there still to do so, I'm just rusty at it now. The only thing stopping me is silly fucking fear.

I know that if I was given a year, with the fear removed to get used to life again, I'd be back to my old self.

:\

Well, I've always been extremely shy and quiet. I was also extremely volatile, say the wrong thing and there'd be a fight on your hands. For most of my early pubescence I was verbally tormented almost every day by my sister, I gave about as well as I got, but it gave me some neuroses, it was around then that I gained a lot of weight.

So it's always been extremely hard for me to talk to people I don't know and I generally keep my mouth shut. Of course, given my new distaste for women I was always really curt with any girls that tried to talk to me early in high school and that pretty much killed most of my chances with anyone but the land whales (people who weighed more than me).

Fast forward to junior year, got into a relationship with an older woman, fell in love and then figured out that through the entire thing she had been with another guy and all of my friends knew about it but didn't see fit to tell me.

Pretty much killed most of my trust in people and I pretty much just reverted to being really introverted and pensive.

But, really, as Y implies, it's still really my fault. It's nothing that can't be overcome and I'm working on it, it's just been a really slow process for me. I'm trying to get into shape, I've started eating right, trying to get the whole intense dread bordering on terror problem when I'm around people I don't know under control.

Sucks that I waited as long as I did to even start trying, but having your heart and hope crushed can take a while to overcome. Same for neuroses embedded and reinforced from childhood.

But I *am* trying, and I guess that's something I can be proud of.

>>2741590

that'd be pretty awesome if your dad was a channer

>>2741603
I need a wingman, or someone to be my wingman, my best friend's in a committed relationship.

where you at, anon? I also am socially retarted, and like you, am friendly as shit once i get to know you, but until then...

>>2741678
Blah, Paris. There are like three people in r9k that live in France.

I wonder if it would be weird to look for wingmen in OkCupid...

Neglected as a kid, regularly terrorized and beaten as a teenager. The other little kids taunted me and treated me like shit when I was little because I was smart and kind of chubby. So I stopped going outside and just read and played Gameboy in my room.

I was suicidal starting when I was 6. I'd fall asleep every night crying and wishing I wouldn't wake up. Since the other kids all seemed to think I was worthless, I thought they must be right. So I hated myself.

Through a stroke of luck, I also ended up inheriting Bipolar disorder, which eventually got me put into the psych hospital for a month when I was 16; I started experiencing psychotic-level symptoms.

Eventually I stopped leaving the house, and dropped out of high school. Since then, I've become more and more reclusive. In the past 6 years, I've devolved to the point that I only leave the house once a month for groceries.

I actually don't hate myself anymore; in the past 2 years or so, I've actually come to love myself and my body. But I find it extremely hard to be around people. I don't understand them, and they don't understand me. And I just hate it when people look at me, because I can almost hear them judging me.

Shit sux.

>>2741700
Fuck. if you ever need a wingman in toronto, lemme know.

I love paris, it was such a nice city.. :(

A vicious cycle whereby stress leads to apathy which leads to poor social skills which leads to stressful social situations. Usually people are stressed only for short periods of time after which they collect themselves and repair any damage done, if the cycle is not stopped however it can rapidly degrade and become increasingly difficult to remedy.

During a critical period in the development of my personality from ages 14-15 my mother had stomach cancer and my family fell apart, this aggravated both my stress levels and the gap between my social skills and that of my friends and classmates. While my social skills stagnated my friends were developing into teenagers, as my situation degraded mor and more people began to dehumanise me and I stopped receiving even the most rudimentary of counselling from my parents and teachers.

When I entered high school when I was 16 things began to stabilise for a few months as I made new friends and the no nonsense personality I developed in response to bullying began to take effect. However my mother soon died and by this time I had learned to distract myself in order to repress my strong feelings concerning the situation, I neglected my studies and flunked high school.

Extremely shy, fucking useless parents, mom is practically retarded, dad is a man-child with a grade-school IQ and no job prospects, smothering grandparents, fucking retarded sibling who made school and home life fucking hell for me, teased & abused all through school, even by my retarded older sibling who I was made to stick up for by my smothering parents. Trained in passive-aggressive "nice guy" behavior since birth... submitted unquestioningly to authority for years before realizing it's all a lie and being nice isn't gonna get me jack shit.

Still learning trying to work out the rage and bitterness so I can get on with my own life.

I had undiagnosed ADD, which resulted in low academic achievements, despite being quite intelligent, and my mom didn't love me so I have low self-esteem.

When I was a kid, I was always put down by my family. I never really gave that fact much care, however, until I first went to school. I was bullied a lot as a kid. At best, I was just teased. But at worst, I had the shit beaten out of me. Whenever I came home, my family would berate me for losing the fight, until they eventually just gave up on ever taking me seriously at all. To this day, they will not listen to me when I talk, and disrespect me at every opportunity.

As time went on, the beatings died down, but the ostracization remained. I never really made any close friends, and I'm not close to anyone in my family. As of right now, I can't even try to be more social because of fear, anxiety, and anger issues. it's just a fucked up way, man.

>>2741758
Kudos to you fine,fine work (take note of how i gave you a capital k,not many get one of those)

>>2741776
Yo anonymous tripcoder, that shit's terrible. I hope you can find some people who will take you seriously and be more supportive than your family was.

Anyway. For me, I'm reclusive and self-centered. I've always been the person who is always by himself and always focused on themselves. This lack of interest in making friends and being popular did make me something of a pariah in school and in my family, but I've never been outright bullied.

I feel bad for a lot of you who've gone through such awful shit, I hope things get better for you.

man... all these stories make me feel bad about feeling bad... i havent gone through anything as bad as a lot of this..

still feel like shit though all the time

Takes a bit of backstory to explain, but to put it easily, I was 3 years younger than my peers which led to an insane amount of bullying and teasing, so far that it drove me up the wall to the point where I had no friends, never went outside, showered, had no social contact, and just started eating a lot. Later on I learned how to make friends when I was about 15 or 16 years old, and with men I've always been ok. I have no interest in having female friends, nor do I have the ability to start a relationship with them. The only thing I desire from a female is to one day have sex, and that's about the end of it.

ppl irl = to stupid to talk to
ppl in teh internetz = somewhat acceptable =P

my mommy and daddy tell'd me that they didnt love me nemoar, lied2troll, epic fail @ success, over 9000 bad relationships, 4chan, winrar =)

Nobody can say that this place isn't depressing...

Lol i don't have social failures...

I am too selfish to think about anyone else. I do too many drugs to care about anything else.

i have a lazy eye, although not exactly like that one. i've been made fun of because of it, but not really that much. however it was enough to make me paranoid as hell. i disconnected my self from everyone and developed a superiority complex.

Not really a poor upbringing, just not one geared towards social aptitude.

No social failures here. I'm pretty fucking great.

I think most of 4chan's userbase is relatively normal, and the whiners make the most threads and post the most.

for me it was a general lack of self maintenance and being uninterested in the more trivial matters of society. But now I'm in college and I take care of myself, and the silly parts of culture are most definitely fun, if not anything else.

to me most relationships are just a pain in the ass, though sometimes i find enjoyable to share interests with others.
not that I could establish relationships with ease if I wanted to, I'm socially inept too!

I've been retarded at being social since as far as I can remember. I think I should have been put around other children my own age more when I was small. Also, I don't think my parents screaming at each other and smashing things in the house all the time during my toddler years helped either. Then I had an annoying, overprotective mother, who would break down and cry all the time since she hated her life so much. If I ever settle down with a woman, I'm being a real parent. Kids shouldn't have to deal with retards who can't get their own shit together raising them.
Nothing really horrible though, just a lack of normal social interaction.

lack of willpower, selfdiscipline and sex.

Hmm. Well, early on in my life, lack of social success was a mix of 'bad social conditions' and 'dyspraxia and general nerdery is like painting a fucking big red target on your back'. Bullying happened lots from the age of 4 right up to 14.

Now, the problem is less active hate than my own inability to forge good bonds; I get on well with most people but I don't really have too many close friends. I'd attribute that to the fact I'm really fucking anxious socially, which is probably a mix of 'lack of early social development', 'I generally can't connect with people (autistic-like)'and 'I'm socially retarded'. The second is more important than the first - I for example know one autistic guy who only figured out the link between 'no connection' and 'autism' a FEW WEEKS AGO (he's 30) and he can play the social game and whatnot just fine. So, basically, it's all my fault right now.

But meh, I'm at a happy medium point.

I attribute my social ineptitude, extreme introversion and shyness to the following:

1) Being an only child. It made me SLIGHTLY more selfish than average, but MUCH stranger and more introverted as I had less interaction with other kids.

2) Living in the middle of nowhere. Again this made my childhood boring, secluded, and resulted in me having very few friends, especially as I got older.

3) Going to very small private schools my whole life. If you're weird and nerdy, and your class has 20 people in it, how the FUCK can you be expected to fit in? I never even played Dungeons and Dragons (nobody knew about it), never played in the school band (didn't have one), never had any club activities or anything.

4) Being hated and excluded by my college roommates. This actually permanently scarred my self-esteem more than anything, and is why I'm never friendly to anyone like coworkers until a long time after I first meet them.

That said, I'm pretty okay now, though. Got a long-term girlfriend, a degree, and a job.

>>2743177

I'd also like to add re: private schools, that I was kicked out of my school senior year (not sure why, maybe bad grades) and went to public school, where I made a bunch of friends and had MUCH more fun.

>>2743177
Guy who posted just before this one here.

>3) Going to very small private schools my whole life. If you're weird and nerdy, and your class has 20 people in it, how the FUCK can you be expected to fit in?

Thank you for making me feel better about myself. I went to a private school for about five years with a class size varying from 12 to 20, but at least I had about three similarly nerdy friends (joined one apiece in third year, fourth year and fifth year).

Glad to hear things are at least going well for you now.

I had a completely normal childhood, then I became less and less social as I aged. My dad always says I'm just like him when he was my age, so I figure it's genetics.

>>2743198
That, or upbringing.

I'm half red and the half of me that is red is larger then the other half.

actually that has nothing to do with it really since I used to be popular.

I spent three years after I turned 18 doing nothing but study, mostly hermeticism, religion and thelema and such.

Either way, I have so much on so many topics, people just use me as a human dictionary and conversations become more like lectures.

>>2743162
Sounds much like my childhood. Though my mom really loved me. But I've always been very cold and emotionless, and she eventually got used to that...

I guess it's a combo of the fact that my parents were sheltering throughout my life, and still are to an extent, really they have kinda made me dependent on them (I'm 20 now) which made me afraid to be assertive and confident and to feel like shit about myself when everyone is working, going out, having fun, etc and I'm afraid to do anything because I'll be nervous about what others or my parents would think of me. Also, I got picked on a lot in HS because of my shyness. I didn't bother anyone, and was usually pretty quiet, but I still got picked on. I guess all the "alphas" saw me as an easy, low risk target since I was unlikely to defend myself much ;_;

This has lead to my current life as a 20 year old virgin with almost no female contact, ever and no prospects for that changing anytime soon :/

>>2743253

Sounds like someone has realized his full potential.

So when do you plan on killing yourself?

>>2743253
My mom used to bother me all the time about going out and drinking with my friends. "Oh my god my innocent little guy is drinking."
I solved the problem by spending a Friday night at home in my underwear drinking Jack and Coke and watching Schwarzenegger movies alone instead of going out. I don't know why, but that did the trick, and we just treat each other like adults now.

>>2741610
Good, normalfags can gtfo.

I honestly don't know why I am what I am. Perhaps it's because I've been physically isolated. Also I was picked on in high school so that might be a factor.

Oversheltering but unprotective parents, routine beatings at school, sexual abuse by a neighbor. Contemplated suicide but was too pussy to do it; abandoned social interaction once I reached middle school.

In hindsight, I should have just stopped talking altogether. I might have gotten mental help far earlier in life, when it could still make a difference.

>>2743364
yeah, the only people to stay are what? roneryfags, retardfags, sick fucks?

Genetics? My parents were fairly normal people with normal-sounding stories of friends, though they both come from broken families. However, my cousin on my father's side--who I've never even seen a picture of--is clinically autistic so I guess there's history.

No traumatic childhood experience and have a wonderful family. It's just as a kid, I had 2 brothers who I was close to, but now all I have are my shadows. I was never bullied or shunned; but I was always different, but in ability (both ways; i.e. many where I was better, many where I was worse) and interest and often called weird (which I guess is supposed to be taken as an insult). Throughout high school and bellow, I seamlessly blended into interactions (only during classes) between various groups of friends, though was never myself part of them.

But see, the thing is even if I had friends, it would be a constant struggle just to keep contact with them; a constant struggle to get out of the house, a constant struggle to interact in a socially-acceptable way. It would be naive to expect something to be a mental cure-all just because it's the one thing I never had whenever every other interaction I've had plays itself out in the same way. I see no point to proposition myself just for the chance to start a whole 'nother struggle. I mean, not only does the short-term cost and risk outweigh the gain, but the long-term cost does as well. It's not like I'm happy with this arrangement, but it's a lose-lose situation.

Sometimes it feels like I'm cursed with a false air of self-sufficiency, straddling the threshold of "well-adjusted/well-off" and "independent/capable" with an acutely-feigned sentiment of genuineness. Sometimes I feel like I'm the proverbial non-squeaky wheel. And other times I feel as though the sentiments that made me post this are engineered to try and stimulate some sympathy in some imaginary audience. 'Cause I do love me some sympathy.

>>2743468
not who you where responding to but yes. 4chan was made for us freaks, not you trendy fucks to rubberneck

i had a boy friend who tried to kill me and my father always called me fat, Boys used to not pay attention to me, now i lost a lot of weight. but i still can't get over that fat girl image in my mind, I don't think that i can do better so i don't. go for the same guy over and over.

>>2743530
can I be that guy?

>>2743544
i go for fat ass holes. so if that describes you in anyway, then yes!

>>2743468
Absolutely. You have Digg and Facebook, we have 4chan.

>>2743565
actually yes, that is precisely what I'm like. Whats your im? i'll abuse you

damn it, almost had some slut I could have dated with low self esteem take nude pictures of herself for me. ce la vie

I was just a stupid as fuck kid who didn't give half a shit about socializing.

About a year and a half ago I started getting better about it.

As a child of a psychotic alcoholic and a severely depressed drama queen, both of which passed on their nerdiness to me, I was destined for a decade of torture and humiliation at school. I don't know why they expected a little girl to man up and fight back against a crowd of huge gangsters, but I do hate myself every second for being too broken to transfer to another school. Serious issues with men there. :(

I attribute most of my social fucktardedness to my depression and anxiety, but I guess I could expand that to my genetics in general. Almost everyone on my maternal side of the family is severely depressed, including my mother, so I didn't have such a great childhood. A lot of alcoholism and anxiety on my dad's side. Looks like I inherited the best of both sides, amirite??

>>2741646
Dude that is called post-traumatic stress and it's not your fault.

>>2741725
Wow, I was suicidal as a child too (>>2743824 here). I always thought it was so strange, I never heard of anyone else wanting to kill themselvse that young before.

Grew up with mother always going to school and grad school (ie. she was always studying and busy) and a dad I only saw every other weekend (my parents were divorced.)

Said parents were also very overprotective of me (their only child, their princess) so I never got to go out much. I ended up getting used to being by myself and entertaining myself.

So now I suck at gatherings and come off as aloof and uncaring (even though I'm not). I can't be open to people and usually don't say much, even though I'm constantly thinking about stuff and analyzing shit. I guess that's an introvert for you.

I haven't really made a whole lot of progress. I just have a few friends I chill with and a long distance relationship with my boyfriend..that's allright with me.

For some reason, I was never attracted to girls until I hit puberty.

Since I felt no attraction towards them, I never tried being "cool" (because, as you know, the ONLY reason a guy tries to be cool is so he can get pussy), and, consequently, never was cool.

So girls would tell me I was ugly and a loser, I would think they were mean and just avoided them.

BAM - puberty hits, and suddenly I am attracted to girls and get a crush on a "cool" girl in my class.

"But anon", I hear you say, "since you never spent any time with girls before, you must have been at a complete loss for how to act around her, right? And you must have had no idea of how to approach and befriend said girl?"

That's right. "So", you ask in anticipation, "what did you do?". The answer is, of course, nothing.

tl;dr when I started getting attracted to girls I had no idea how to approach them, so I didn't and just left it at that

Grew up in one culture, then hit the age where girls are interesting in a radically different culture, then moved repeatedly from there.
I hit on girls in different ways than culture says to. Sucks but eh, I'm about to move back so shit is looking up for me.

Truth be told I don't have a single idea as to what got me to being the way that I am. I've been shy and awkward for as long as I can remember, dating back to at least early elementary school. Aside from my sister, one friend, and on very rare random encounters, I'm pretty much reserved around everyone; my parents and best friend of 12+ years included.

I've spent a shitton of time thinking about this topic trying to figure it out, and honestly, I've narrowed it down to either being a genetic chemical imbalance, or a product of an experience that happened when I was young that was so traumatic for me I blocked it out completely.

Working at fix it, and progress has been slow but somewhat steady in college. I'm graduating in May, so real life will prove to be a new experience and a new test, later this year. Hopefully I can fare alright.

>>2743838

Yeah. For me, it wasn't so much that I wanted to kill myself, I just wanted to die. I think there's a distinction there. I was just in so much pain that I couldn't take it. I wanted to go to sleep and never wake up, because I just couldn't face another day.

Again, I thought I was worthless and that everyone else would be better off without me. So that was part of it too.

Learning about solipsism

Eh, a number of things:
In middle school, I was that kid who so wanted to be included, tried hard to be friends, but was generally ignored or not invited anywhere. Now I have this stupid thought in the back of my mind that no one really wants me around, and that they never think of me when going through their contacts list looking for someone to chill with. With this thought, I don't even try to hang out or make connections with people, for the fear of rejection.

Also, parents had a divorce in middle school/high school. I split my time between them. When I was at my Moms I was far removed from my friends, and was stuck in some ghetto type place where no one spoke English. My Dad's house was near my friends, but he was so needy. Whenever I went to hang out, he guilted me into staying home by saying how lonely he would be, or how he never sees me. Those who genuinely wanted me to hang out with them gave up trying, I was never available.

Now I'm in Uni. but I can't afford to live on campus. I commute from my home a good hour and a half, and work most nights and weekends. That combo slays any chance of a social life.

So, now I spend my days on the computer. I have decent social skills, I am invited to parties on a regular basis. I just decline and stay home, browsing 4chan and playing the vidya.

Mostly nature... I am ugly and thus different and everyone hates me for it.

Secondly, my parents were TOO good. I had to learn that the world was shit myself.

Thirdly, my first school only had wannabe gangstas. The "social environment" was the equivalent of magnitudes of shit.

And now I put myself down. Circle style.

traumatic childhood. horrible parents.

THANKS INTERNET, I HAVE NOT MADE ANY REAL-LIFE FRIEND SINCE I MOVED IN THIS CITY.

>>2744221
>In middle school, I was that kid who so wanted to be included, tried hard to be friends, but was generally ignored or not invited anywhere. Now I have this stupid thought in the back of my mind that no one really wants me around, and that they never think of me when going through their contacts list looking for someone to chill with. With this thought, I don't even try to hang out or make connections with people, for the fear of rejection.

That was totally me when I was that age, too, and I think it's still fucked me up to this day. I also seem to have really wishy-washy friends, too, now - about 15 people said that they would come hang out with me on my birthday last October, and when it rolled around, only one person came.

Then for a while I was the kid who sat in the back of the class and did weird things just to get attention; I'm positive that ruined any shot at anything back home.

In college, I was a recluse - I went to classes, did homework, practiced, and slept. Not much of a social life, and most of my friends from college I don't even talk to anymore, just one or two of them.

And the last two times I've met a girl who I really, really liked, they've always managed to find a way to reject me in a way that really tears my heart out and stomps on it a few times for good measure.

>>2741577
moving a lot
dad beat me
usually living in very rural areas
sheltered at all costs from anything sexual or violent
poor, so no internet until 17 no cellphone ever, and no other cool consumer stuff.

My father taught me from the day I could comprehend words that the strongest person is alone, and trusts no one.

No matter how hard I try, I cannot get over these teachings, and thus, stay isolated.

'What do you attribute your lack of social success to?'

My complete lack of social skills.

In general, it'd have to be my albinism.

Most of my friends enjoy hanging out with me, I dress well and exercise, but it's basically impossible to just "pick up a girl" at a bar when they are choosing between you and a million tan guys who don't look like they just lost a fight with a flour bag.

It's a kind of a subtle prejudice, I only get openly insulted by drunk college kids late at night ("Casper" is a recurring theme, lol) but eventually you just pick up on the weird vibes people get when they first meet you, and it's so much easier to be just be introverted. Of course, the worst habits started in elementary school, when kids were just ruthless with the insults, but I like to think I cut most of that crap in high school.

The worst part is that there's no real cure; I don't tan (period) and there's no cream/etc. solution out there, unless I wanna all-out dye my hair and look like a Guido (and even then, it'd look just as weird). If I was fat, I'd exercise, but there's nothing to be done about this, except to just keep trying.

Mental illness and lack of contact with other people.

>>2744595
Well I thought albinos looked pretty cool.

>>2744621
Seconding this, albinism is awesome, people who avoid you/prejudice/whatever are fags.

Am I the only one that finds it wonderful that people with serious medical problems interacting with others can express themselves and get in touch with similar situations in a place like this?

And am I the only one disappointed that the place where this magic takes place is also the asshole of the Internet?

Anybody here have Twitter?

I feel like communicating with other people without actually trying.

Acne. Nothing more, nothing less.

>>2744637
>Twitter
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF
I'LL KILL YA! I'LL KILL ALL OF YOUR DOGS!

I'm gonna say it's because I'm an only child and didn't really get out much until my late teens. I've also had the same group of friends my entire life, so I find it's really difficult to make new ones.

My parents also divorced, but that was recently so I don't think that matters.

Nothing wrong with me. I'm damn near perfect. I was just dealt a bad hand and am fighting to get to the top.

I feel shitty now, nothing bad has happened to me.

>>2744634
That is why I came here. I was too insane for the normals and I wasnt disabled enough to fit in the disabled community.

I am disappointed at how normal the girls are though.

>>2744717
Also I tried joining the autism community, but jesus christ we are annoying.

i guess it's because I'm kinda short, very skinny and hairy as hell.
And I cum too fast.

I grew up with 3 siblings and it was always fun and everything was great.
I had lots of friends in school, too.
The thing is - I never made the first move. They always came up to me and I'm a pretty likeable guy, so I become friends with pretty much everybody.
But I just cant get up to a girl and ask her out, because I'm not used to talking to strangers.

My relationships all ended within a month because I cant keep up with all the responsibilty that comes with them.
I hate to tell someone how pretty they are or anything like that because I think something like that should be expressed through art (music, painting).
Words are just too dull

genetically a LOT of my family is socially phobic. i think a few have undiagnosed social anxiety disorder. i am one of the better ones, to be honest, i have a lot of friends of the same gender but i freeze up around the opposite gender unless i'm absolutely sure they're not sexually interested in me...and then i'm fine.

>>2741603
This is me minus the catholic school, we will be wingmen.

as cliched as it sounds, to be more social I should have born in another country (currently in a shithole called honduras, maybe Norway or Swiss would have been more suited for me) or born 100 years into the future.

I think r9k is intelligent enough to know why, so I would not post the reason behind these ideas

1. When I moved in the middle of eighth grade, then nearest high school to me was about six or seven miles away, meaning I couldn't hang out with any of my friends there (senior year was fucking awesome though since by then we all had licenses and shit).
2. My lack of initiative. Didn't get my license until I was 17 1/2, still haven't gotten a job (near 20), etc.
3. My lack of knowledge regarding women. Missed at least two chicks who had the hots for me in high school. Missed at least two other chances I had of either getting laid or at least seeing a friend (girl) naked (two different girls, though I did get to see one of their tits).

That's all I can think of. No traumatic childhood experience, no poor upbringing, my genetics are fine (though, I'll probably be getting some kidney stones once I hit 50 :(), etc. Just me, fucking up.

well, I'm not that bad with girls. I'm currently running away from vacuous pair of tits (the tits are great, her personality is disgusting) who wants me. but I'm not into relationships, never had one. and I have friends. wait, ok, nevermind, I mean, I was retarded and everything when I was young with developmental delays and whatever, but I guess I'm fairly social now. Still, it'd be nice to be with someone.

>>2744733
Please, PLEASE tell me that you hate the term "neurotypical".

i really hate aspies.
just putting that out there.

i used to be really shy, and then i got over it. I've had stuff happen to me that made me shy, and i haven't gotten over it, i just got tired of it holding me back.

best fucking thing i've ever done. I've had a lot of great friends, and i still do, people like me and want to be around me.

feels good man.

>>2745348
OK if you want me to.

I was second in everything growing up. My sister took precedence when I was younger. She won every argument and got preferential treatment. After that was my best friend. Not that I have anything against him, but he was always better at everything. Grades in school is a good example. He always got higher. Always. A prof actually marked me lower purposefully because he says I have potential if I work hard. Bullshit. Then there was the French. I'm english in a French society. I can't learn French. I've tried and tried for almost 10 years. My mouth just can't shape the god damned sounds. Can't. Impossible. So now, I have no confidence. I doubt myself at all turns. I realized the sources of my lack of confidence when I saw a councilor last year. At least I know now what to turn back and face.

I blame the fucking faggots I called "friends" when I was around 13-15

I used to be popular and likable, now I have barely any friends, I have a shitty, boring personality, and I'm so ronery it hurts

>>2745491
Sounds like that is your own damn fault.

>>2745402
>>2745402
>I'm english in a French society. I can't learn French. I've tried and tried for almost 10 years. My mouth just can't shape the god damned sounds. Can't. Impossible. So now, I have no confidence. I doubt myself at all turns.
Holy shit, this exact same thing happened to me when I lived in a spanish-speaking country. I thought I was the only one who could spend 5+ years in a foreign country and not properly learn the language, and because of that I lost all my confidence and I refused to speak in anything but english with my friends who were bilingual.

>>2745385
There are three types of aspies.

-Social rejects who hear about it online and diagnose themselves with their superior intellect, then proceed to brag about their shiny new psychological disorder in hopes that maybe now someone will love them.

-Social rejects who are diagnosed in a desperate attempt to increase their self-esteem before they off themselves and ruin the school counselor's resume, and proceed to brag about their shiny new psychological disorder in hopes that maybe now someone will love them.

-Legitimate cases that are too socially inept to brag.

tl;dr: if somebody tells you they're an aspie you are free to punch them in the face

>>2745348

'Neurotypical' is more precise term than 'normal'. 'Normal' also implies that other people are abnormal, which has certain unfair connotations.

What do you have against precision, Anonymous?

>>2745802
>'Normal' also implies that other people are abnormal, which has certain unfair connotations
So does the word mutation but we still use that in science.

>>2745870

You're right, that word is used in science.

...

Was your post supposed to be an argument?

Dunno about you guys but I am just too lazy

Mother had me at 18 with a 40 year old man who snapped one day and from then on became physically violent. The beating and paranoia escalated until one day he held us hostage in our house and my grandfather had to come with a rifle to free us.

A few years and some college course later, my mother remarried. The new guy didn't abuse her but beat me in private, held me in contempt because he didn't consider me manly, I wasn't his child and he felt I was ruining his relationship with my mother. I never told her, because I was happy to take the beatings, as long as she was happy.

Eventually hit puberty. Fought back, mother divorced him, blamed me for her second ruined marriage.

Later in high school began falling into a depression. Became suicidal. Tried privately multiple times, luckily failed and was never caught. Dropped out of college some time later. Drifted through life, eventually got life back on track, more or less. Still suffer from depression, I think; no many to seek therapy, exercise, take vitamins and try to eat right to counteract it as best I can. My number one fear is that I'll wake up one day and be my father. the fact that he was a good man and one day just broke inside makes it hard for me to trust that I really know myself or anyone and that tomorrow everything could be different, could fall apart and I would be unable to do anything to stop it.

Moving to America when I was 10. I hated moving, I hated my new school, I hated the country, I quickly learned to hate just about everyone in my class for being retarded rednecks, etc.
I made one friend. He got me addicted to EverQuest. I nearly failed 7th grade because of that game.
Then I stopped talking to him because I would just play MMOs instead of making new friends. PlanetSide, SWG, WoW, etc. Then I found 4chan.

In short, my social failure is due to the fact that I can easily satiate my social needs online and anonymously. This stunts my offline and personal social skills.

>>2746240
Seems you only had/have fixable problems. If I were you, I'd be more angry at the people responsible than depressed probably.

>>2745870
When used scientifically 'mutation' is completely neutral. It doesn't have unfair connotations when it's used scientifically, only when used in other contexts.

>>2746240
If I could, I would hug you tight.

...I need to say more stuff to make the robot happy dangit.

People really, really like me. The problem is that I have mental illnesses that I don't want to go to therapy for and I will never go for. A lot of people have Most of the time, I ignore what people say and don't really care about having sex and doing drugs with others. But occasionally, I get very strong urges to do things and after I'm done, I am disgusted towards myself. I'm very eccentric and I'm pretty tall and muscular and have my share of good stories and jokes to tell so girls naturally love me, but most of the time I lack any feeling for friendship or sex and it depresses me like nothing else.

I'm not sure what this was caused by, but I just go through extreme cycles of anger and anxiety. I live a good life. I have no reason to be like this. I hate my mind more than anything. I've been like this for too long and the only things that help me calm down are drugs or alcohol. I fucking hate everything.

>>2746290

A mercurial temperament runs in both sides of my family. The men on my mother's side tend toward extreme moods, melancholies, etc and my dad... we I dunno if he was genetically predisposed to psychosis, or it was the result of brain damage, but assuming it was the former, the cards are stacked against me. At any rate, it's not the type of emo drama depression that you hear teenagers yapping about; it's more along the lines of the clinical diagnoses of depressive disorder (IE occasionally my cognitive functioning and coping skills deteriorate to the point where I can barely, if at all, take care of myself; and not the thing you see online where depression somehow equates to writing bad poetry and drawing yourself as a crying asexual anime character).

And I do get angry, but overall thing it's better not to be mad about the past. Looking back in anger is self destructive. Being mad just makes you helpless forever, since there's no way for to go back to when you were a child and resolve anything in your favor.

I have an incomprehensible voice, so people don't hear me speaking a lot, which in turn means I don't. Its not like I'm scared to socialise with people I just don't talk much. This is by no means a full explanation but its all I've got at the moment.

was cool and sociable and partied a lot. got acne, withdrew from everything out of shame, escaped to the net for a few years. now i'm attractive again and i go to a good uni but i tend not be social because the acne changed my nature.

I blame it on bullying.

Up until I was 14 I was pretty much the most popular guy in all the schools I'd been at. Then when I was 15 I changed schools and had to get this bus in every day.

Those 30 minutes every morning and evening made my life hell. It completely changed my personality and made me avoid conversation or anything that made me stand out. It wasn't just the food that was thrown at me, it was the intense emotional trauma as well.

I remember one day i was actually feeling quite good, I'd got a lift in with my mom in the morning and had a good time at school. Then I got on that bus and I was made so miserable, I cried when I got home.

That bus ruined my life.

>>2746358
I guess I don't want to go to therapy because I don't want to end up like one of those kids I used to see in middle school. The kids with the giant neon pants and iron maiden t-shirts and chains everywhere that claimed to be depressed. There was nothing wrong with them, they thought depression was something cool and alternative. I learned to hide my feelings and my general mental instability by lying about how I feel and acting around people. I don't want to be an attention whore and it pains me to even write this because I know the severity of claiming to be crazy. I sound like a fucking whiner and I hate whining.

I sabotage myself. I'm terrified of people I meet disliking me because of me, so I am as obnoxious and beliggerent and annoying and overbearing as possible to play it safe and ENSURE they dislike me on my terms and not because of me myself.

>>2746387
I got something similar. I apparently mumble a lot. Though to my ears, I sound fine. Leaves me a bit insecure sometimes.

>>2746414

I know exactly how you feel. Even if your mental illness is completely crippling, you feel like you can't tell anyone, because it'll sound like you're some pathetic faker who's crying for attention. I've known SOOO many people who claim to be "clinically depressed" (they throw in the "clinical" part to make it sound more legitimate) for sympathy or as an excuse. I despise them, and I swore I'd never be like that. So I end up dying inside and feeling like I can't tell anyone.

It's like the boy who cried wolf. Even though I wasn't the one who cried wolf 80 trillion times, people still have heard it so many times that it automatically registers as whiny stupid bullshit. I can't blame them, but it sucks.

>>2746792
You really need to tell people. My life became much easier when I started handing out notes explaining I was mentally ill.

I was born almost completely deaf. I wear hearing aids now but I still have an EXTREMELY hard time comprehending speech. I can talk to people 1v1 fine, but I avoid groups like the plague. That part of my brain just developed too late.

>>2746875

Quoting myself, I also might be schizoid. I want a life so fucking badly that I can't be happy or enjoy anything anymore...

Actually, now that I think about it, I don't want to have friends. I want one really good friend who I actually know, not just people I talk to over AIM maybe a few times a month. I especially want her. But I don't see how it could happen right now. Fuck, it sucks.

My life is fucking great. School is a joke for me. I'm starting to self educate out of pure boredom. I'm not motivated to do anything at all. I just live...

I'm so apathetic. period.

I blame insomnia.

>>2746974
I think you're so desperate to justify your social shortcomings that you've chosen a relatively rare psychological disorder and convinced yourself that you exhibit its symptoms.

>>2746851

Explain these notes, please. Do you hand them to professors? Bosses? Friends? Pre-emptively, or when things get bad?

My professors tend to make us write out little notecards at the beginning of the semester with our information on them and any special needs we might have. I usually write on there that I have frequent trouble with stress and that I might need a little extra patience over the course of the semester. They usually are pretty nice about it, but I usually avoid talking about it beyond that first day.

>>2747296
My parents hand them out to people who have to spend alot of time with me, mainly teachers.

>>2747095

I said I might be, but I doubt I am... I just can't talk to people because of my hearing. Don't be a tool.

A lack of drivers license/car.

I'll be chatting up a cute girl, get to know her a little bit, but then i always come to the bump in the road...
"Hey, wanna go out Friday? You're driving!!!"

>>2741603

I WILL BE YOUR WINGMAN

Asperger's. Seriously.

Oversheltering and the internet

Getting way better though, have plenty of friends, and I could probably score some poon if I really wanted to

my 3.5" dick.


mootblock, sadly I know I am not the only one :(

Disinterest, mostIy.

I always sabotage the good things going on in my life. didn't move in with my friends when they got a place despite an invitation, always seem to break up with people when things are going good.

it doesn't make much sense, and I know I'll look back when I'm 50 and a lonely drunk knocking on peoples' doors and regret it, but I'm kind of stuck like that.

I attribute my problems socially to the fact that I post and lurk 4chan

You know that moment of awkwardness when you start talking and someone else starts talking at the exact same time, and you both stop and offer to let the other guy go first?

I do that constantly. Over time, I learned to just stop talking and let the other guy go. And that's sort of the story of my life, bending to let things work. Moving out of the way so others can go by. Trying to minimize how much of an obstacle I am.

I was born somewhat attractive.

Men become angry when I friendzone them and I don't get along with women. Well, it's more as if they simply don't like me, no matter how nice I am to them. Sometimes I'll be able to keep a friend for a while, but as soon as he garners a... Significant other, all communication with me is dropped or truncated to its very base.

So ronery.

I live an hours drive from school, who wants a medium distance relationship?

ITT: Self delusional circle jerk instead of the real answer which is , genetics.

I grew up with 3 brothers, all of whom loved indoor games. We'd all stay inside rolling dice or mashing buttons while the other kids yelled and frolicked outside. Because of this, all of us ended up as awkward fucktoads. Now that I think about it, life could be a lot worse if I wasn't best friends with them.

>>2747312
IANAL, but I'm pretty sure that US federal law requires schools and businesses to cater to the needs of disabled customers and employees to the best of their ability.

>>2747498
But then you added a symptom to support what you "might" be. I'm just saying that you probably want to be schizoid because it would make your life easier.

>>2748159

Why the fuck would it make my life any easier?

Lots of drama shit. Parents ditched me in an orphanage, I hear. First thing I remember was when I was living with my first foster father. He liked to beat me up, fuck me, and all that good stuff. I called child services a few times, all they said was they'd look into it, never did.

Then about ten years ago I snapped and fucking stabbed him when he tried to fuck me again. Then everything was good until High School. The guys thought I was a feminazi, the girls thought I was a lesbian waiting to rape them.

Then the family I got put with died, they were old. Most of their "real" kids don't even like me, the daughter who does snuck me into their funeral as her "best friend".

Just been kinda lonely since then.

>>2748322
Oh, and he's out of jail now. I hope he stops by for a chat so I can finish what I started.

I attribute my anxiety, depression and my general lack of social skills to my upbring. My stepmother use to verbally abuse me a lot and occassionally there was physical abuse. Needless to say I've always had a low self-esteem. She also wouldn't let me leave the house outside of school to hang out with my friends, even when I was a teenager. That couldn't of helped either.

Asbergers.

No, really. Until I was 6 my mom and doctors said that I was highly autistic. I was still inept (and assburgers) after that, but then I got a few normal friends when I was 10 or so and they turned me into a somewhat normal person by the age of 15. I still have problems with wimminz and tellingif people are fucking with me, but that's it.

>>2748322
Hey, I know a man ruined your life, but making generalizations about all men makes people think you are a feminazi and not like you.

I am sure you have figured this out.

>>2748421
Cont- My mother wasn't around either. She fucked off the day I turned one and before that was whoring herself around and disappeared for months at a time when she should of been taking care of me.

>>2748463
I never made generalizations. I was told, to my face, that people thought I was a feminazi.

>>2748322

>the girls thought I was a lesbian waiting to rape them.

Oh fuck, I know how you feel. Even though most of them outweighed me by 10-50+ pounds, they'd look at me with this sheer terror in their eyes whenever we were somewhat alone together. It made me resent them, and myself -- Highschool was shit.

Eventually I got the idea in my head that, since I was so fucking scary, I could take on anyone I wanted. Tried to fight guys. Ended badly.

...I was class president junior year, student body VP my senior year, I'm currently known to most of the freshman class at my college, and I'm engaged to a beautiful, down-to-earth girl... As a once-suicidal, semi-pedophilic sadomasochist, I'm completely dysfunctional and messed up, but it doesn't get in the way of my relationships, for the most part.

You know what really pisses me off, girls who go around acting like they can just kick a guy in the nards for any old reason.

I secretly want one to try it on me so I can punch her in the jaw.

>>2748522
I just kind of sat around in quiet places. I like to avoid fights.

>>2748549
I had a cute friend who went to an all girl schools. there were vicious rumors spread about her being lesbian, and it made everyone not like her.

I wished she liked me so I could have comforted her >:(

>>2746240
>one day just broke inside
Goddamn, I know exactly what you mean.

I'm honestly afraid that someday I'll just snap and go berserk.

>>2748601
Oh shit, now I am remembering the cute girls who I crushed on in school. they even admitted they liked me, but I basically ignored them >:(

>>2748601
Ow, that sucks. If it's any consolation, I would have let you comfort me.

Nothing, I'm fine.

I'm not going to baw about having a shitty upbringing or bullshit like that because my parents worked damn hard. I think I was always an impressionable kid when I was young, and the experiences I had from the age of 11 down to 1 really shaped the deranged addict I am today. I have only a dozen or so memories of my childhood (wasn't molested, but I would be grateful that I had sexual contact if I had) and they tend to be pathetic or vaguely sad. When I was about 6 I was digging in my back yard looking for bugs or whatever and I brought in a handful of worms to my mom. I said, "These are my only friends." LOL. Ummm, I guess my dad being away most of my childhood was unhelpful. He was gone for two years at a time (army) in Egypt, Bosnia, and more recently Iraq (when I was 16, however). That tended to make me a depressed little bitch. I have always low expectations for relationships with women (and in general I guess) and broke up with a few because they said they loved me (yeah, you'd think I'm ungrateful because you've never had a girlfriend... I didn't want to fall in love and end up needing someone else.) There, enough of any reader's time was just wasted.

TL;DR- Military dad gone a lot, strict mother, moved a few times, baw...got into highschool, took more drugs, got happy, found meaning for life, rejected christianity, been happy since.

Women think I'm gay. No, really, they do. A girl in my senior class asked all my friends if I was gay. Actually, they all said things to the effect of, "yeah, he's a flaming homosexual, he even tried to pay me to let him blow me" jokingly, but she didn't catch the sarcasm and so some very aggravating rumors spread through the school like hot CP across the internet.

genetics.

im drunk and just wwent OUT and did not hook up with this blonde chick i fucking hate myslef FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

I blame it on video games. That's not all, but that's what it essentially amounts to. I started playing video games at the age of 3 and never really liked social shit. I went to school to learn and I came home to play video games for fun, I didn't really do anything with my classmates when we weren't in class. As a result, I was a social retard for most of my life and just recently (about a year and a half ago) started getting better about it.

I missed a lot of chances at women in my life because of that. Among other things, I'll never know whether several cute girls liked me or not.

>>2748844
Oh, and because of my lack of social abilities my dad thought I was gay for a while.

You are who you made yourself to be and nothing else. Stop trying to blame your shortcomings on everyone else, and start blaming yourself, because its all your fault.

>>2748922
Hmmm, same here.

My sister totally thought I was gay, as did my mother.

I am always physically tired.
No, not fat. At all. It's a disorder.
Also, mental illness runs in the family...

sheltered childhood
bullied in school
fat as a kid
bald as a teenager

I was really slow to develop socially, I had a hard time picking up on certain cues and if something was really stupid to say.

Of course I got picked on a lot, but at one point in early high school everyone seemed to forget I was there.

"Are you new?"

" I didn't know you were in this class"

"Sorry, I forgot your name."

Then I listened in at picked up on everything, the pieces started to fit together. I broke out of the shell, lost weight and gained friends.

Although I'm told that I'm kinda mean looking, so I have to be careful how I approach people.

>>2748972
Young boys are beaten and mistreated by family and friends. Grow up to be doubtful of themselves and will never try to get the attention and love they missed from their family members. It's all their fault, fucking idiots have no idea that their lives are completely controlled by them and not schizophrenia or whatever mental disorder ruins everything in their lives.

>>2748972
I disagree. The part of your life in which you actually have control starts when you establish your identity apart from your parents. Before that (and in the case of extremely traumatizing experiences, beyond that) the kind of person you are is determined by your upraising and the people around you.

Its a long list but a few reasons would be:

- A complete inability to form emotional attachments

- Incapable of holding even the simplest conversation
(unless im raging about politics or something i hate
but even then i get my words jumbled up)

- All my social contact in school was basically
spouting memes or being an idiot with the few
friends i had then

- If a girl ever tried to talk to me i could never engage
in a fluent conversation, short answers and
uncomfortableness were endemic

- Absoulotely no desire to do anything with my life, no
exciting interests or burning passions

- I have no real relationships with my family, i get
along with my mother but that's it

- Borderline anorexic and coupled with a bad posture i
don't come across as hugely attractive

And why? i wish i knew, my dad was a fucktard but i dont see him anymore, my mum is caring but.. it feels like something was missing, maybe it was just genetics but it still makes no sense