saw a lady have a heart attack in the baking aisle.
scary shit...

The other day i went to the supermarket to buy condoms (it's in the same block as my house) and the condoms made the alarm ring when i exited. The cashier looked at me and said "It's the package you have that caused it" while at the same time holding her hands out to indicate the size, without realizing that what she said/gestured came out the wrong way. She realized it and she turned away to help other customers.

>>2493330
That's a pretty funny story, actually. I needed a good wake up laugh, thanks.

For some reason, I don't have difficulty with grocery shopping.

I bought some condoms once when I was about 19. I think I was trolled. The clerk said "HOW MUCH ARE THESE?" and waved them showing them to someone on the other side of the store. I didn't get so embarrassed but that was like a movie scene.

I got lost in a Supermarket when I was 6, separated from my mother. It was traumatic, I suddenly felt true horror, as if i was alone among dozens of shoppers, and I would never return.

A few days ago it happened again, this time I am 19, and I felt the same surge of horrid despair running through my head.

Mom left me to stand in line while she ran off to get "one more thing". meanwhile the line progressed and she didn't return, so the other shoppers got pissed.

>>2493579
My dad pulled this shit with me everywhere. How the fuck is a 6 or 7 year old supposed to know what to do when he gets to the front of the line?

>>2493579
Why didn't you just let someone go ahead of you every time you got to the front of the line until she got back? Isn't that what any non-retard holding a spot in line for someone does?

How did you even manage to turn your computer on? Can you dress yourself?

This is why you eat food, you anorexic bitch.

If you didn't starve yourself you wouldn't pass out randomly.

>>2493537
Eh. I got lost in a supermarket when I was 6 too. I didn't even remember the whole thing until you mentioned yours. Didn't leave me any traumas. I was just like "BAWW, WHERE'S MY MOMMY?" and then a friendly worker found my mommy and that was it.

Personally, perhaps my worsrt experience was when I was in junior high, and my teacher sent me to do some shopping for materials for cooking class. She wouldn't take no for an answer. The problem was, I had never been shopping by myself before and I had no fucking clue where to find most of the stuff. I was almost running around the store trying to find all the things needed to buy. When I came back, my teacher was just like "Where the fuck have you been all this time?". Shouldn't send clueless people to do shopping.

>>2493611

try doing that at 6 years old with a conveyor belt full of items, dickshelf.
I'LL EAT YOUR FUCKING GUTS

>>2493611
I know, right? It's almost like little kids don't know what to do in that situation or something.

Once when I was about 11, we were done shopping and mom pulled the car up so that the kids could load the groceries in the car. After everything was loaded, I shut the door and went to return the cart.

I turned around, and my mother had driven away. I sat on the curb of Food Lion for over half an hour before she returned, thinking I was surely doomed.

Traumatizing.

>>2493611
I'd guess a lot of people here are socially retarded (I know I am). This is 4chan, after all.

I was 7.Mom and I were shopping and I walked forward without knowing that she was left behind. I felt a presence near me so I hugged on them and said got half way through my sentence before I realized it was some weird old lady.

>>2493628
>>2493630
Yeah, it's almost as if I made my post knowing full well what it was like, having executed such a simple task multiple times at that age.

And even if you didn't have the brainpower to figure out what to do, what was fucking stopping you from asking one of the many people behind you? They can't all have been 6, could they?

>>2493648

so you had a person with a trolley full of items move up to the front and hand them to the cashier one at a time?
I'd be impressed if you did that at six. because I wouldn't have thought to do it.
I couldn't have reached the conveyor belt to move my parent's stuff

>>2493669
Well I guess if the person had mentioned their stuff was already unloaded, it would be a different situation. But seeing as there was no word of that, and the fact that the parent left implied they weren't MID-TRANSACTION I assumed they were pissing around next to a cart, not letting anyone past.

my worst experience was working in one full time.

>>2493686

I guess I ignored that first post and was projecting.
fucking no good mother.

>>2493648
it's not easy, there's only one line and it's one way, essentially everyone in the line has to step back, with the shopper behind you stepping in front of you, while you swap positions with him.

>>2493615
OP here. nice try.
anyway, the store manager gave me an orange, which helped a lot.

>>2493686
You seem to not understand this at all. I know you can't remember what being 6 is like because you're such a badass, but a 6 year old thinks very differently than an adult. You have to see this through that mentality.

I once shat in a Wal-Mart changing cubicle. I was about 11, couldn't hold it in anymore. It was pretty damn traumatic.

I used to crash to front of the trolley on my dad's heels and he would get ultra pissed.

>>2493712

Nice try what? You know its true.

Either that or you are extremely sick, and also a pussy for not being able to keep conscious.

I work at a grocery store, so pretty much every day.

A few notables however, are overweight black ladies who spend dozens of minutes arguing about what cereal they can and can't get on foodstamps, dealing with managers who've never actually been a cashier/bagger/anything in a grocery store trying to tell you how to do your job, and of course, people who complain about the most mundane things possible "Why did you bag my frozen peas with my box of Uncle Ben's Cajun instant Rice?!?! The box is going to get soggy, you need to learn how to do your job!"

The worst part is having to pretend to be friendly and cheery throughout the whole thing though.

my mom told me that I was about 2 years old, I was caught "stealing grapes" by some crazy lady. the bitch smacked my hand when my mom wasn't looking. I let out a huuge cry, my mom whipped around and lunged at the lady, luckily some employees managed to seperate them. at that moment it was tramautazing, nothing since then.

>>2493737
Yeah, I once shat myself in some mall department store. I got incredibly robot-like, and I think managed to take care of it pretty well (just quietly cleaned up and disposed of my underwear.)

Shit sucked, though.

>>2493771
The box is going to get soggy. You need to learn how to do your job.

>>2493776
what the hell is so tramautizing about a slap on the hand?

Oh man..At age 9 I knocked over a HUEG tower of glass bottles of some liquid, I think it was olive oil I was. My parents fed me bread and water for a month

When I was like eight my little sister peed herself and my mom made me take off my shirt so my sister could wear it.

So I was this chubby eight year old walking through the supermarket without a shirt. At some point I went to the bathroom and wrapped myself in paper towels and felt a little better.

>>2493759

Not OP, but that's not true. OP might be slightly anemic. I am, and that kind of shit happened to me all the time before I took care of it.

>>2493850
I'm imagining that and it's *adorable*. Just thought I'd let you know.

"mom!"
"I'M NOT YOUR MOTHER LITTLE BOY"
"fffuuuuuuuu, er, wwwwwaaaaaaaaaaa"

>>2493838
I was 2 years old, just chilling in the front seat of the cart, eating some grapes, when WHAM out of nowhere a total stranger smacks the fuck outta my hand.

>>2493874
Haha, oh wow. I'm imagining a little 4channer suddenly raging in middle of a store. Ah, that would be so hilarious.

>>2493874
oh, wow
This used to happen to me all the time when I was little. I remember when I was 3 the first time I went to the grocery store with Mother she bought me some candy and I saw the clerk scan it. I decided it looked fun and grabbed my candy and scanned it again. Instead of having the clerk remove it, though she just grabbed another one for my brother. She taught me better as we were leaving, though.
I salute you, Mom

>>2493874

This happened to me a few times when I was a kid. I always wondered why people always got so mad when I mistook them for my mom. I mean, I'm small, I'm cute, I've lost my parents, and all I can see are the backs of your knees. Cut me some slack.

>>2493866
Really? I certainly didn't think so. Before I got the paper towel I was just hugging myself as we walked around, ashamed of my little chubby naked body. (My parents were very conservative, so the idea of being shirtless in such a setting was absolutely unthinkable for me.) Even after the paper towels I still hugged myself, mostly to keep them from falling.

;_;

>>2493694
yeah same here buddy. I've been working at safeway for the last 4 years.

Anonymous, stay in school and get good grades. Please.

>>2493771 The worst part is having to pretend to be friendly and cheery throughout the whole thing though.
Yeah thats pretty lame on its own, but then you get the real retards in the store who don't understand that it's just your job to be nice. Fuckers think I'm their best friend just because I sell them a bus ticket with their shitty food. I'd hate to be a cute chick working in a grocery store.

>>2493993
Well a chubby little boy wrapped in paper towels to hide his shame hits a majority of my shota strikezones, so yes. Adorable.

Just so you know, it's not stealing if you eat something while in the grocery store.

i was hitting on the cashier. i said something stupid and everybody behind me smirked. just like, last year or so.

urgghhhhhhhhh

>>2494037
heeeehhee did you hear what he said? Loser!

>>2494019
There's a certain limit though. I remember working in a fast food restaurant, some clinically retarded guy came up and tried to order. I didn't understand a word he said, apparently the woman behind him was his caretaker, I asked her what he want's and she told me "he can speak for himself, he's independent.". After about 3 minutes of unintelligent babble I yelled at him.

I yelled at a retard.

my mom let me and my brother get a soda and drink it, she said, I'm gonna pay for it anyway. asshole cashier was all, you can't do that, blah blah, manager gets involved, a 5 minute grocery run turned into a 2 hour ordeal, and my crazy mom threatened to call the ACLU. it gave me the biggest headache, even as a kid, I hated wasting time.

This is one of my earliest confirmed memories. When I was 3 or 4 years old, I was shopping with my mom and I saw this old lady with some kind of skin disease. She had these massive weird cysts sticking out all over her face. I assumed that she was a witch, and I was very, very afraid of witches at the time. She made eye contact with me and I just started screaming and bawwwwing and hugging my mom's leg. Very traumatizing, I had recurring nightmares about this woman trying to kill/eat me.

I feel pretty shitty about this in retrospect. If I had such a fucked up dermatological disorder that random small children broke down sobbing at the sight of me, I would probably kill myself.

>>2494155
Wow do you live in a fascist state? Every friday for months, I've been picking up two home made baguettes at the bread area, arriving with only one at the cashier. I just stash the wrapping somewhere. No-one has ever complained.

>>2494155
You're a fucking nigger.
Nigger bitches ALWAYS eat food in stores and don't pay for it.

Don't like it? Tell the whore of a woman you call your mother to pay for her mother fucking food before she eats it.

When I was a kid, I hopped on the back of the karts with my feet on that rear support bar. Well, one day when I did it, it flipped backwards and covered me, like a cage. It was like I was in jail ;_;

Also, one day my sister and I passed one of those large bags of rice. When we got to the line, she decided to call me a "maggot", thinking of the little white rice grains we just saw. And I decided to call her something similar, but just switch the first letter, like some children will do with things. And I blurted out "faggot" in the middle of the line. I wasn't but like, 7 years old. My mom was like "Don't EVER say that word again". People behind us heard it.

>>2494213
lol lrn2read, my mom was gonna pay for it, but the cashier refused to scan it.

One time when I was a little kid, I was at the store with my mom and a few of my friends, and I had this hilarious idea to grab a Sprite bottle, spike it between my legs like I had just scored a touchdown, and scream "WOOOO!!!!!" at the top of my lungs simultaneously.

The Sprite not only exploded everywhere on impact, but bounced and managed to knock down a large stack of other soda bottles at the end of the aisle, which also exploded everywhere, making a huge fucking mess. Naturally I thought this was funny as hell, but my mom didn't agree and she spanked me in the store right in front of everyone. Very humiliating, I bawwww'd quite a bit.

>>2494234
Nowhere in your original post did you say that she refused to scan it.

Quit making shit up, nigger.

I'm currently a bagger in a grocery store.
There's this guy whom I was packing groceries. When I went to put his double-wrapped lobster in his cart, he then went all hysterical because I hit it against the cart a little too hard for him. He went on ranting in my face (which I was struggling for keeping straight) for about 5 minutes, whinning about how it wouldn't be good anymore, how he was going to make a complain, etc. etc. Turned out after re-checking, the lobster was 100% fine.

Fortunately, most custommers are pretty nice people and so are my co-workers, which makes me like working here.

>>2494341
Oh, and I'm a very absent-minded person, so I often make very stupid mistakes. That includes mixing warm, refregirated and frozen stuff together and having it pointed out each times by the cashier (making me look like a total moron each times). Also having to look for a price on an item that doesn't scan, it happened to me more than once that I get the wrong price and the custommer goes look for it himself (all of which takes a HUGE amount of time) which results once again with me making an fool of myself.

I work at an HEB in san antonio, tx.
we had a possum incident not too long ago, fucker was mean as hell, and somehow he got into the men's bathroom. that thing had the most ungodly screech, dear god.

>>2493993
Ashamed chubby little boys half naked? Your sad face only turned me on more.

I fought with the check out people because they couldn't scan my credit card right. I felt bad because the whole store had for real retards working. BUT DAMN THOSE RETARDS HAVE ATTITUDE for being retarded.

I was about 8, and my sister decided it was a good idea to push me.

Well, I hit a stack of cans, which caved, and caused a chain reaction of falling items. Nothing broke but it was a giant mess.

The manager blamed it on me and just let loose on me while my mom was yelling at the manager trying to explain what happened.

god ;_;

all these stories are just too adorable :D.

My mother had been sick for a little while, though she always said it was a pinched nerve. She said she wasn't feeling too well while we were there, but she seemed to be fine for the beginning of it. Me being 11 or 12, I honestly can't remember, I didn't know what to do when fell to the floor in pain. Something had come over her and she couldn't stand. She was just sitting on the floor in pain. I can't remember exactly how I handled the situation. I know I ended up unloading the cart, and taking whatever payment was needed up to the cashier, but I was so confused at the time. Eventually I helped her up and she did end up driving home (not far at all so I knew it was going to be okay for her to drive at least). Given the fact that I now know about how she had depression, agoraphobia, and eventually was claimed by cancer, it doesn't seem as confusing, but I don't think I would ever still be able to handle the situation properly.

when i was about 6, i saw a lady with the same hair color as my mom and i thought it was her so i went up behind her and hugged her. when i looked up it was some other lady and i was really embarrassed and scared, and ran away really fast to find my mom.

a few years before that, i was about 4 or so, i couldn't find my mom so i went up to the register and asked if they could help me find my mom. they made an intercom announcement. i was so embarrassed and scared. i thought my mom had left me at the store.

a less cute story was a few years ago i was sick and i went to the store, half way down an aisle i had diarrhea. i don't think i need to say much more except never go to the store if you have fucking diarrhea ever. i still cringe thinking about how i had to go to that disgusting bathroom, clean up, and go home with my ass feeling soggy.

>>2495030

Similar thing happened to me, but it was at elementary school and I had to go to the bathroom because of medication I was on.

Needless to say I missed most of recess getting cleaned up back at home.

I once assumed cats came in bags of cat food as a child (I was a bit slow. There was a picture of a cat on the bag, I think I was like, 5). I picked it up up and carried it to the cart and it burst open when I hit it against the side at an awkward angle, and I slipped and broke my arm.

I never got my own kitty ;____;

>>2495240
D'Aaawwwwww at your pain <:D

not traumatic, just painfully stupid friends

I was shopping for my apartment's food. 3 or 4 other guys who I cook for were with me. The last 6 trips were me by myself carrying on foot. 2 of the guys went to staples first to get some sort of cart thing. I took this as a good sign.

I go through the store and pick up some stuff for myself and see the cart the 2 guys had. 6 cases of soda. I walked up and told them I wasn't buying groceries for the apartment that day. After I go through checkout I saw them, only with their soda.

I haven't cooked for those 2 since then.

>>2495030
Somthing like that happened to me too. I was about 6 and walking down the aisle in a supermarket holding my mother's hand. Being rather awed and distracted by all the stuff on the shelves I wasn't paying any attention to my mom and just kept walking, looking at the produce.

Suddenly, I turn and instead of my mom I discovered I was holding the hand of this kindly looking old gent. I turned and the rest of my family was standing there a good 30 feet back laughing. The old man smiled and I ran like hell.

>>2497417

FUCK I DID THAT TOO

My dad has this callus on his hand I always used to rub, and so I'm walking along thinking I've got his hand and suddenly I notice there's no callus, so I look up AND IT'S SOME FUCKING STRANGER AND MY DAD WAS NOWHERE IN SIGHT

AND I FREAKED THE FUCK OUT

Any safeway 3054 fags lurk /r9k/? I'm sure some of you do. Worst experience would be working with a borderline retarded Indian manage.

this isn't traumatic, just awkward.

i'm always starving by the time i get to the grocery store, but i never know what i want or remember what i came for. as a result, i end up constantly spinning around, walking briskly, wavering, and just acting sort of confused and hurried. so i start walking down an aisle, then pause and think about what i need and where i am, then waver and spin around. so i'm doing my thing one day and as i spin around and start walking away this little girl jogs up and latches onto my thigh and hand. i guess she was tired and had me confused for someone, because she just hung on and never looked up at me. i just stood there for a second, then looked around for a concerned mother. nothing. i had to take a few steps back into the previous aisle before i saw her mom chuckling at me with her other little kid. i sort of drug the kid over and scraped her off onto her mom's leg, then did that creep-run away as quietly as i could.

When I was a kid I used to hide in the clothes racks in big shopping departments and watch my family rush around trying to find me. I loved it. :D

I also loved when innocent shoppers would look for clothes and see me in the middle and jump back in shock gaahahah

I got caught on CCTV shagging one of the employees of my local supermarche. We'd been friends for a while and decided to add to our friendship with some friendly perks that'd make our lives more exiting. So she dared me to fuck her at work. We made out in the loading bay at around 3am, before the morning deliveries. She finished in 9 mins and I was around 11. I thought "Great! Result!", only I should have chosen the spot instead of her. I looked up to see a camera, light on, pointing right at me.
The humiliation till this day is on my top 10 most embarassing things, though I'd only rate it number 2. Number 1 is for something best kept away from these pages and saved for the pages of /b/...

>>2497787
TELL US FAGGOT

TELL US NOWWWWWWWW

>>2497787
Fuck that, brosef.
Tell us now.