>/r9k/
>talking about something other than lonliness

>Apply for cashier job for summer online
>Resume and 3 professional contacts required

What.

>>2462905
Fuck off.

I know that feel, OP. Searching for a job is such dicks. The best way to find one really is from people you know that are already working.

File: 1337138325553.jpg-(92 KB, 600x649, 62619_v3[1].jpg)

If you need a job that badly just bullshit a prior job; it's not like they actually check.

As shitty as it is to work for free, internships, apprenticeships, and volunteer work has become the new way to get your foot in the door.

File: 1337138410277.jpg-(115 KB, 544x544, 1337064474757.jpg)

was going to make a thread similar to this, op...anyway this shit is getting ridiculous. it's been 5 months and i haven't gotten a single fucking call back. I'm 22, I'm healthy, dress nice, i'm clean. i have schooling and nothing. i'm starting to think i'm doing something horribly wrong. im in FUCKING VEGAS there has to be a fucking job somewhere, don't give me that bullshit! tomorrow im going to the nearby animal hospital to see whats up. dog washer maybe? then some other retail cock suckers. wish me luck.

Where the fuck do you live that requires a resume for shit-tier crap?

I've had 3 jobs so far, none required a resume. Granted, two where in retail environments and the other was a labor job. But still.

>>2462912
such bullshit
this was on the cashier appli for walmart
like I know walmart is a huge company and all
but do I really need fucking references
who do I even list
>no family listings pls
ah cmon

>>2462928
lol

its so true
dat feel when no degree in mailroom sciences

>>2462941
OP here, NYC

>>2462912

same shit here. went to a Dollar Tree store here in SoCal. walk in, guy tells me, to not bring it back until i get a resume. I never understood the point of an application if they ask for a resume. its the same fucking information! its a shitty small chain of dollar stores! why the heck would i need professional references for that?!

I know that feel bro. I think most normalfags just lie like fuck on their resumes I know my sister does and she basically gets any job she wants.

For me it's just hard to lie, I feel like every lie is a burden on my consciousness and I never feel right. I'm thinking of ways to start my own business soon because if I dont I can't imagine how my life will turn out... always having to prove myself to others. I couldn't deal with a lifetime of that.

So it's settled then? We will all start lying on our applications then slowly build up money for a car and then get really good at something that we can sell so that we don't have bosses? God dammit im fucking jealous of comedians....

Bill Hicks: "It's [stand-up comedy] the greatest job in the world because I don't have a boss"

seriously hated working at a place like Target. I hated going to to work thinking I could get fired that day.

>>2462974

I live in Brooklyn bro. Having the same trouble. I'm trying to get into the restaurant business, but since I have no experience working in an actual kitchen I'm trying to start off as a prep cook/dishwasher. Fucking dishwasher needs 2 years experience of washing dishes and 3 references.

I have an idea.

>go to hiring manager
>have them "hire" you and give you 40 hours a week doing some small task like cleaning
>never actually show up for work
>you keep half of your paycheck, they keep the other half

>>2462928
Should say B.S. degree. Everyone knows BA's are worthless.

Can we not have this turn into a jobless-feel thread? This is /r9k/ for god's sake. We're supposed to help each other not feel each other up like all the other threads.

OP, seriously just lie on your app. create a fake company and just lie. either that or stretch out the truth. For example, I used to take surveys for companies like Ford and Pepsi or Wendy's. Luckily, my friend's mom was the recruiter for the marketing company she worked for. So, on occasion, if me and her son fit the target demographic, we'd go take surveys. So, after a while, she asked us if we wanted to conduct mini surveys of our own for Wells Fargo. so we said fuck yeah. This way I always put down I used to be in "marketing" and it won't be a lie either. so when i put down the number, i put down my friends mom's number so if and when they call her, she know's whats up. The point is, set your own thing up and make sure things like phone numbers are reliable as well as the people. Also, those surveys paid like a muffuga. $250 for 2 hours of answers? fuck yeah

I'm finding the same thing trying to change careers into the Australian mining/resources sector.

> Entry level traineeship
> Must have 3 years underground experience

Really? If I had 3 years underground experience I wouldn't be applying for a fucking traineeship, would I?

>>2463085
wow.

So much well-connected normalfag in here. GTFO.

>>2463104
> every thread must all be the same and also be about me

>>2463085

also, forgot to mention, the surveys we had to conduct was actually just us standing outside hounding people for a 10 question survey. not very profesional or anything, i was wearing black and white converse for god's sake.

>>2462939
Im in vegas too, there are actually a ton of robots in vegas. the job situation isnt that awful, it was much worse two years ago.

Basically my everyday. I work at fucking Disneyland and I've been throwing out apps like crazy. God I want to get out of there.

>>2463104

actually, not at all. ive been in and out of lots of houses because my family is poor. but thats as far as i'll entertain your opinion of me. i wont validate myself to you further. anyway, im trying to help this thread with tips. also, im still fucking jobless and my cousin who im currently living with is hinting that i seriously need to hurry up on that job. even though he's more than well off after his big promotion.

>>2463085

Thus reaffirming that connections are everything. Where would you be without your friend and his mom? Nowhere. Jobless. Do you think us basement dwellers have those kinds of resources? No.

Fuck off, normalfag. Your empty advice insults me.

>Finally push myself out of my drug-induced depression and apply to 20+ jobs in a mall nearby
>Five weeks later, not a single fucking response

I have no prior experience. I put down a small amount of fake experience on my resume to at least get noticed. Looks like that doesn't work either.

>>2462987
sloots gonna sloot

>>2463031
I acutally live in Brooklyn as well, I say NYC bc it covers all boroughs.

Shit I saw a corner store near my way that was hiring, they want someone with at the very least 6 months of experience working as a muthafucking deli clerk.

I mean seriously? I really am gonna start lyng out my ass for resumes. Theres no way these places are actually checking reference for the entry level positions.

>desperate as fuck, about to be kicked out
>apply for over 150 places
>depressed as fuck, figure at least one callback would make a difference in my life
>1 week goes by
>no callback
>week 2
>considering suicide
>check my resume over
>I got my phone number off by one number
>cry for the next 4 hours

I'm going to be living with my parents until they die, at which point I will kill myself. I will feel no guilt, for there will be no one left to miss me.

There is no point in trying. I will never get a job. If I do, my fragile mental condition will prevent me from holding it for any longer than a few months.

>Be 20
>Have girlfriend who is 20
>She got an amazingly well paying job from her mom and auntie at age 18 straight out of school
>Roughly $2200 a fortnight
>mfw I'm unemployed and haven't got a single cent to my name

>>2463191

wow, manchild much lol?

i know that feel.
>i graduated from community college
>apply for graphic design jobs
>look on monster
>a lot of them say requires 3 years experience
>don't apply
>i am working at a grocery store pushing carts

i almost got a job at this printing place. i went there for like 5 hours trial they paid me and then next week called. they told me that they found someone with more experience.

It took me nineteen applications everywhere in town until I got a job as a cashier at Target. Just keep at it, you'll catch a break. I certainly did.

So lets try to get some positivity in here.

What kind of lies do you guys think you can get away with for entry level jobs. What about references,phone numbers etc.. How do you deal when they ask you about your previous jobs? Obviously most of us are in the same boat, so we need to come up with lying strategies that could easily go undetected.

I just want to be a god damn cook and I'm actually good at it at home but have no experience whatsoever so most jobs just overlook my resume.

>>2463156

instead of bitching why not take something positive from that post, like the fucking tip. besides, the point isn't how i got the job, it's what can be done with the "experience" im sure there's somthing you can stretch the truth with, bro. im here to help, not fight and watch this thread turn into another circle jerk feel-thread. faggot

>>2463216

You are supposed to go to CC to get your A.S. so you can transfer to a 4 year uni bro

>>2463227

stretch out the truth. if you have the balls, just straight out lie. but always, ALWAYS back it up. for example, used to work at McD's? BAM, kitchen experience. Worked at Walmart/Target? BAM cahier, "stock" experience + trained to sell alcohol. easy shit. its little stuff like that man.

The main reason i suggest this is because most of the time they want to see if you have "experience" but 90% of the time, they are going to train you in their ways anyway so just lie. it's not like they are going to ask you to do what you did at some other place. just get your foot in the door.

>>2463234
What was positive about your post?

That tip on how to inflate your resume?

How does that make things better for anyone?

You're part of the problem, not the solution.

>THIS JOB REQUIRES EXPENSIVE ANNOYING TO GET CERTIFICATIONS IN SOME COMPUTER SHIT, NURSING, MECHANICAL, WHATEVER
>$8.50 AN HOUR

Seriously, fuck you.
I could understand if these jobs weren't the most basic of the basic or at least paid enough to make it worth it.

>Apply to bookstore in the city
>go in to see when they plan on doing interviews
>says next week and come back to find out exact time
>go back next week, says one more week
>so on for about 2 more weeks
>forget about it for about a month
>stop in on off chance since in the neighborhood
>manager remembers me by name, still has my information in his pocket
>can't find time to do interviews because too busy since not enough employees
>not enough employees because no time to interview
>just fucking hire me then

>>2463216

If you have the time, a good idea is to get the number for the HR person directly and ask to schedule a meeting. or you could call them directly and force them into a miniature meeting/interview and explain how you're good for the job and shit.

TL;DR, call the HR directly and fuck their shit up

captcha: indebted glishua.....yes, yes i am indebted....fuck

> spend three hours online on Monday searching for jobs
> spend another six plus hours that day biking around the city checking for new positions, dropping off resumes, and checking in with places I'd applied to a week before
> bike 70km (45 miles) overall that day around my city

All I want is to not have to wash feces off the floor of a woman's washroom again.

I actually heard that they don't take that qualification too seriously. Just apply anyway, and explain in the interview that you don't have the experience but want the job anyway. Tell them you'll work extra hard to make up for whatever level of experience you need.

>>2463293

>>2463293

yes, inflation was the point. was that not obvious? clearly honesty hasn't been working. try something else. don't take out your jobless agressions on a me, ass. also, id like to see you try and post something instead of waiving your flaccid tripfag dick around

>Apply everywhere
>not even one call
>ie no interview

Anyone else in the same boat?

>decide to be a champ
>prepare
>print out resume
>look good
>be sociable and affable
>hello are you hiring? here's my resume
>we're not hiring but accepting applications
>may i have one?
>you can do it online :-)
>okay, thank you
>here's a copy of my resume for your HR person
>we don't take resumes
>(screams internally)

of course you're "accepting applications" you dumb fuck! it's online!

but seriously folks, everywhere i go it's "apply online" but i cant stay home all day because i feel the guilt of not going out because my room mate tells me to go out and apply. applied to at leas 20 places online get two rejection e-mails back....come on, at least give me 20 rejection e-mails....

>>2463430
>we're not hiring but accepting applications
>online only

Thats code for: "Your application will get forwarded to the trash bin."

File: 1337142799979.jpg-(108 KB, 800x675, examplereaumw.jpg)

What format is everyone's resumes?

The best looking resume helps enough to get a response for the job.

I once had an internship at some private equity firm back when I was 16 that paid me about $15. I barely did shit the entire time, I would actually pass days watching videos on youtube at my desk and chatting with the employees.

Unfortunately it was only a summer internship. God I miss those days, getting paid to do almost nothing felt amazing.

>>2462833
>I'm about to start slinging, I swear.
I started doing it small time about a week ago, over a grand I've made.

>>2463542

considered it but don't want to end up on a gore thread

>>2463542
Considered it but thats why I chose the pic I did for my original post.

What is slinging

>>2463552
All this board being fiction, No one has the quality gear I'm supplying and it's to students in my town.

>let you have a line test, call me later
>*10 mins
>"BRO CAN YOU GET ME A FEW G's?!"

I'm not spending the money on stupid things. My mum has been having a hard time with my brother being a different person after being released from jail, my other brother is lazy, and she gets a lot of hate for having a BSc MA on a council estate, So I transferred her a few hundred quid, and told her to treat herself.

>>2463532

As weird as it sounds I feel like that would actually suck, it just feels like you really aren't earning that money

it would be better to have a job that you like doing and to get paid for it

File: 1337144120686.jpg-(7 KB, 310x307, slingshot.jpg)

>>2463568
Making/selling sling shots. There's a shortage of people who still make them so it's a pretty well paying job.

The trick is you have to know people where you want to work. Ask them to put in a good word with you. Be seen around the company, maybe have the friend from earlier set you up for lunch with his manager because you both like restoring cars or something. Make a good impression. Finally, when the time comes to try and get in, have your friends or that manager (who now likes you) put that resume on the top of the pile. I followed a similar course to this, and got in without too much trouble. I'm a sophomore in college and make about $20/hour with benefits and a good chance of getting a better position once I have my degree.

>>2463613
0/10

>>2463568
I imagine he means selling drugs

Brotip, when they say 2-3 years, they mean 4-6 months. And even then you don't need a days worth of experience (it helps to google how the fuck to do whatever you're applying to do)

You can lie and say you got started and picked up the basics at a distant uncles shop. Use said distant uncle as a reference (They never check them). JUST IN CASE, make sure distant uncle (or friend) got your stories straight.

Pretend you have experience, and you're over that hurdle, just be sure you can present yourself well enough. THEY WANT OBEDIENT SLAVES THAT DONT COMPLAIN, SOUND LIKE ONE.

Once you're in, just bust your ass, learn as much as you can about the trade.

Good luck.

Shit I just got a part time job after taking a 4 year break from working, having a nervous breakdown, binge drinking, then I got interviewed, hired at a dollar store 3 blocks from my house. ....wtf...guess it's cause I have experience, fucked up in a way.

>>2462833
>>2462833

I know how you feel.

janitor here. needed a criminal check, child history check, some kind of background in professional cleaning (i did commercial for a little under a year) and a relative who already works for the same board in order to get hired, and all to clean up after people.

Jesus.... what is happening....

I just got hired at Starbucks as a barista outside of Boston. The fucking interview was a god damn hour long. They ACTUALLY called my 3 references. I mean for fucks sake it's an entry level job paying 9$ an hour. How hard is it to make a coffee?

I've been trying for a long time to get a legitimate salaried job or at the least 15$/hr + for a few years now. It's almost impossible. Even if I was done with college I don't think it would have made a difference.

I was in the defence force for a couple of years and now I can't find work.

Considering either rejoining or trying for the police force. Police force pays more and I could try to join STAR or become a detective maybe, really considering it seeing as uni isn't for me.

>>2463613
pissed my pants/lold

>>2463685
The point this poster makes about the experience thing is true. At least in my experiences it has been.

The only time your screwed is when the requirements include degrees. Unless you actually have said degree but on this board that's unlikely. Although I do know a friend who lied on his app and resume about having a degree and made $25 an hour for about a year. Then he got hired at another company for more money.

>>2463711
>>2463711
I'm eventually working to become a cop. Thanks to affirmative action and college being shoved down everyone's throat, I should have real hard time making that happen.

I did however luck out and managed to snag a weekend internship with a local department.

>>2463736
>already blaming your problems on minorities

Don't worry, you'll make a great cop.

>>2463728
lied about having a degree in what?

>>2463031
>>2463181
I live in brooklyn too we should totally meet up

It's about time for a Worker's revolution in the US, shit is getting fucking ridiculous. How can anybody expect progress as a nation when everyone is actively trying to suppress the working class. Even with most college degrees you're still only good for entry level jobs with shit pay. It makes me sick

If this place didn't contain so many assholes, I'd suggest starting a reference pool on /r9k/. We'd dump our phone numbers out here, in this thread, for each others use. Then one day, when some HR guy calls me to ask about OP, I would say "yeah, OP is a stand up guy! I've known him for years and he's really dependable." and OP would get his job.

But, no. There's always some jackass lurking among us, who'd tell HR that "OP is a fag" or something.

>mfw I'm getting paid $25 an hour working as a bartender

Glorious Australia

File: 1337146035421.jpg-(43 KB, 398x577, 0908_p84-barack-obama_398.jpg)

>>2463766
Well, you see, it's just the economy we're currently in. Individuals and businesses alike are trying to save money wherever they can. This leads to the businesses hiring less, causing more unemployed individuals. The unemployed are further trying to save money. This causes businesses to cut costs further. (Resulting in less employment opportunities)

It's a tricky situation we're in. I'm working on it guys. Don't worry, America will be OK soon.

>captcha: cooperation salary; srsly

>>2463792
Damn that sounds like a great idea. But yeah...it has to be 4chan...

>>2463795
Are the cost of living/taxes really high over there?

>>2463813
that's such a good idea
why must assholes ruin everything for everybody always?

>>2463795

how hard is it to become a bartender?

>>2463816
They're going to try and pretend they're not, but yes. THey are.
There's a reason cost of living never fucking gets brought up by those aussie fucktards.

>>2463816

Depends. Quote me the average gas/water/electricity bill and average rent in a decent area where you live.

>>2463813

Not that won't work for much longer; most employment verification now goes through centralized services; run by the same companies who handle credit reports.

Here is one example:
http://www.theworknumber.com/

Not only do they verify previous employment, but they also report your previous salary, so you can't give a higher number for an edge in negotiations.

>>2463822

Two main things.

1) You have to make sure you're assertive enough to not get stuck as a glassy/barback all your life. A LOT of bars will dangle the carrot of promotion to bartender in front of you for months if not years.

2) Know someone. If you're a girl its 100000000x times easier to get a straight up bar job. If you're a guy, ask people at a bar to put in a good word for you. Only chumps actually cold apply.

>>2463826
Average rent for a decent two bedroom apartment in a shitty neighborhood is 1100 per month. In a decent neighborhood, it's anywhere from 1600 to 1800.

You guys realize that most places only put that to deter the low-lifes from applying? If you can sell yourself you don't need the experience. Really how hard is it to fucking wipe down tables and clean up a bathroom/office? Not hard at all and nothing really needing a year's worth of experience. Geez op you've probably been doing that shit for free around your house for years. Now somebody is willing to pay you to do it and you tap out? For God's sake man, it's toilets, not fucking rocket science.

>>2463795

Fellow Ausfag here. I make $20 an hour working casually at McDonalds while I'm doing my degree. Glorious indeed

>want to work in library
>sorry, you need a year's worth of library experience
>okay.jpg, how do I get that
>not my problem anon

also
>applying for shit jobs, I have over a year's experience in that particular field
>get denied for every fucking one despite being semi-manager level at my old job, kicking ass, and knowing how to do absofuckinglutely everything
>WHY

>>2463843
>get denied for every fucking one despite being semi-manager level at my old job

Have a friend pretend to be a possible employer call your references. See if someone is bad mouthing you.

Seems like the only places that hire on the spot anymore are grocery stores.
>apply online
>show up in person, hand the hiring manager my resume
>get called in the next day for an interview
>show up a week later for training

It was not this simple anywhere else. Later I found out that this store loses employees like nobody's business, which is why they hire so many new people all of the time. If you want to be worked like a dog, and bitched at all day by higher management, then work in a grocery store.

Big cities are the worst when it comes to job searching. They are so ridiculously picky because its an employers market and they have tons of people applying for that position.

Go to a small town nearby. Realize they hire you on the spot because they actually need you and only do paperwork because they have to, while telling you how stupid it is.

Yeah it sucks you gotta move but its an actual solution. Totally different than the city. You need to have 5 years experience mowing lawns to mow grass here son and you need proper documentation and a phone number we can call to confirm it.

>>2463835

You can easily find comparable levels of rent in Australia. Most people in their 20's live in houses with 3-4 bedrooms tho. Average rent that people I know pay is around $200-250 a week with utilities included.

>>2463792
>>2463792
I was totally thinking that I would voucher for any robots looking for a job. To deal with obscure phone numbers, story is we went to the same school and worked together. I would love to shit on the system and help robots get jobs. I speak well, I'm a rhetorician, I can get you hired.

Your always better off trying contacts as oppose to applying. I was out of work for a year but now working again in a drylining firm as a loader (I put plasterboard, bonding and filler into units for other workers to do their shit). Its all down to a friend of my brothers who I now work with.

>>2463859
Well, damn. Glorious, indeed.

>>2463849
Yeah, maybe I should do that. I know for a fact my managers at my recent job loved me, but I switched positions and moved to day shift and it sucked ballsack, I just couldn't do it anymore. I finally broke down and am doing orientation for a line job at a temp agency tomorrow. At least it's something right? right? ;_;

>>2463134
>Has dreamjob
>moans like a bitch

Eat shit faggot.I live in a small town of 20,000.I can't find a job or afford to move.

No place is hiring,but the only thing in this shithole are fast food joints so fat faggots can stuff clog their arteries all week.

Be glad you have a fun job you shithead.
(Unless you work in a Disney restaurant,in which case I'm so sorry.)

>Have references
>Have certificates in first aid, OH&S and a retail course I took
>Also be volunteer firefighter in my spare time
>Still get turned down at even the most basic job applications
>Very few places are even hiring, ever

No fucking job and Centrelink is all over my back about it, have to apply for 9 jobs a fortnight and I'm running out of places to apply. NOBODY'S HIRING. GET REJECTED BECAUSE OF LACK OF JOB EXPERIENCE ANYWAY.

I fucking mad.

>>2463862
But what happens when they ask what kind of work they did, or ask questions about the company?

As an aside, is it in bad form to call a place I got rejected from and ask why they didn't accept my application? When I did HR they kept the applications so they'd have an answer to that question, but I don't know if that's normal

>>2463925
We talk about all of this before-hand. Although it would help if you had an actual job that you can just tell me about, but remember that these people do not have time to be very investigative.

went to a fucking wendy's burger place expecting to hand in a resume. they don't accept them...whatever. apply anyway. look at app: three non family, non friend contacts. are you fucking kidding me? you're telling me the 60 year old woman with the boils all over her skin was deemed a better candidate than me? fuck this gay earth.

the boil thing is real... looked like a fucking leper

I put a throw away e-mail in the e-mail field. I'm already on 1 robot's reference and I got him a job just the other day. He now cuts pipes or something for $10/hr*40/week.

Would people pay for a reference? $5-$10 one time payment? I'm curious.

>>2463961
>Would people pay for a reference? $5-$10 one time payment? I'm curious.
Why in the world would you do a dick thing like that.

>In college, CS. Yeah, yeah, I know...
>Need to do internship to graduate
>Have 3.8 GPA, including straight A's in all CS courses, but...
>Nothing else. No non-school experience/skills

I don't even know where to fucking start. A few years ago when I had just started at a different college I had some assistant dean bitch at me, since the intro-to-the-CS-department class made you write a resume, and I had a shitty one cause I had nothing of any substance to put on it.

I see internships -- not jobs -- posted here that require a degree and significant experience. god damn.

>>2463961
I personally wouldn't, as there's no guarantee it'll work or help or that you'd hold up your end.

>>2463983
Ask your professors if they know of any colleagues that would be willing to hire an intern. Or ask if they need any help on any research they're doing or something. Asking in person would be best, but I'm sure an email would be great too

>>2463935
Well it couldn't hurt, they already rejected you.

>>2463859
>>2463859
Jesus are you shitting me? Being from New York, the cheapest price for a decent 1 bedrom apartment is like $2000 a month.

My mom is in a rent controlled aparment that goes for about $500 a month and thats considered dirt cheap.

>>2463970

I did it for free once and I see anon's crying about no references, and if I offer the service to a few anons, I might as well profit.

Anon gets job he tells other anons, I get more business. It's capitalism. I'd rather a gentle robot get a job over a dickhead high school student.

I would be a reference person for a robot.
I'm trying to find a job too

>18, and just graduated from high school
>Get a job analyzing online ads
>Instantly on salary, making $30,000/year
>Laid off after a month and a half.
>Use whatever I made to buy a car, nothing left over
>Go nearly 2 years without a job
>Be in college, and have copious amounts of debt
>Speak 3 languages, and have all kinds of certifications
>Apply for a janitor job, paying $7.50
>Get a call back
>Jump on that shit

anyone else seriously consider joining the coast guard or anything like that?

>>2464109
They're the most selective branch. They even conduct interviews before recruiting potential Coasties.

>>2463855
mine actually isn't that bad. i work at a grocery store. the people that are in charge of the cashiers are mostly younger people. they pretty much don't do work. only the higher managers do the bitching.

i push carts so most the time i'm there i'm listening to music, pushing carts. nobody bothers me too much.

>>2464126

I heard they don't accept people with records.

E-mail in field. My specialty is retail and office. (tripfag chick)

I'm about to be 22 and I've never held a legitimate job before. How fucked am I?

>>2464154
Just as well seeing as how they're pretty much a front of the CIA. Also even a minor thing as having a cavity can get you disqualified.

>>2464109
Peace Corps.

They want six months of teaching experience though. I've applied for jobs at tutoring companies and sought out volunteer opportunities in order to try and get some experience, but never got any calls back.

Getting a job is easy as fuck. I don't need to say this, and it won't change how dumb some of you really are, but relative to posting on 4chan and shoving food down your mouth, finding a job is simpler and sometimes just takes a little patience and planning.

Forget about your past troubles. I'm building a sweet ass raft and I need a crew to man it. We're robbing geriatrics off the coast of Mexico and coming ashore only to fuck Mexican prostitutes.it's not for the faint of heart though. Only join if you're ready to live on a lean diet of marzipan, beef jerky, and cola mixed with rum. except for taco Tuesdays and pizza Saturdays.

>>2464179
Look, if getting a job was as easy as you make it sound, maybe we wouldn't have these kinds of threads. We're all just trying to feel less down about our unemployment, your negativity isn't making it any easier. Please don't post anymore.

>>2464157
Unless you have connections or plan on getting some kind of training/certs, you are pretty fucked. But there's hope, you just have to start at the lowest of the low of jobs. (and no, they don't all have ridiculous standards stated in this thread)

>>2464212
>raft

10/10

>>2463795
i'm doing a "world of bartending" course at TAFE in a few weeks time. will this increase my chances or will it make me look like im trying too hard?

should i just make light conversation with a bartender at a club or something and mention that i've always wondered about being a bartender?

>>2464235
Hey, we have to start somewhere. Besides it's pretty sturdy, it doesn't capsize as much as before and I no longer get nasty splinters. I also painted it red and stole a good looking mannequin to use as the figure head. I just need some scotch tape and some rope.

I'm in the same boat as a lot of you guys. Been working at my shit retail job for the past 4 years, was my first and only job and am trying to find a place better suited for me. Most entry level jobs require at least a year of experience???

Trying to get said experience. Sent out over 20 applications with resume and cover letter to part-time positions and internships. Nothing.

Fuck this bullshit man, I really want to get out of the retail industry.

File: 1337151454080.jpg-(42 KB, 413x395, 1310483412100.jpg)

lol americans get paid less and their rent costs way more

Wal-mart and macdonnalds will take litterly ANYONE. High school drop outs, retards, deformed people. Anyone.

>>2464266
that's what happens after bubbles start bursting.

though, if it's not significantly better in 20 years, any suggestions on which country to move to?

>>2464278
iceland is pretty good i hear

>>2464288
isn't it cole there

>>2464304
i like cold

I found my first job by going to a job fair for a local theme park. the only opening was park cleaning associate and it minimal pay but you know what,i had to start somewhere. The first 3 months there i worked hard, showed i wasnt there to mess around. did alot of my co-workers not take me seriously? you bet. But i kept at it. and after those 3 months i was promoted to supervisor. Holy shit. my first job and i already got a promotion. Got a dollar more in pay, and for the time being, the promotion made me feel even better. after the park closed down i continued my search. Craigslist, local city sites, newspaper. You name it. And then I found my curent job like that within 2 months that pays even more than before with decent hour to accommodate for school. What it comes down to is being persistent. Keep searching op and dont give up hope, it took me 2 1/2 years of searching to find my break.

File: 1337152288760.jpg-(61 KB, 500x500, 731947.jpg)

I became a "gentleman of the night" and it pays well.

>>2462912

No fucking kidding man. I been applying for shit tier jobs and I have to take an hour long questioner for these unskilled jobs.. Shit fucking dives me nuts. Also I can't even get one professional contact since everyone i used to know has changed numbers.

>>2464318
questions:
do you need to be fit?
do you need a massive dick?
do you fuck disgusting/fat chicks?
if so is it a challenge to get it up to that?

>>2464268
I have to attest to this. I finally broke down and got desperate enough to apply to Walmart. I got lucky in that I work nights stocking. In my area the people coming in that late know exactly what they're looking for and don't need to ask for help. Some are stoned.

Its retail so its soul crushing, yeah. But I think most of us have so little of that left it doesn't matter anymore.

>>2464345
How much does it pay to restock at night? It seems like a somewhat perfect job for my current situation?
Do you get harassed by management at night?

>>2462931
This bot knows what's up.

For entry-level positions, the employer doesn't really care about experience. All they care about is you being dependable, punctual and responsible.

But do you have any idea how hard it is to find people like that? Just think of r9k, and how many people are stoners or alcoholics with depression, anxiety and sleep problems.

They only want you to be able to show that you won't call in sick every other week, mope around when asked to do something, and be a poisonous downer for everyone else. And let's face it: you probably would.

>>2464339
do you need to be fit? Don't have to but it helps alot!
do you need a massive dick? No, I don't
do you fuck disgusting/fat chicks? Get it out your head, chicks dont buy prostitues.Grow a pair a be gay for pay. I make 1000 a night ( good enough for a sore ass)
if so is it a challenge to get it up to that?

>Oh either get a pimp or form a coalition

>>2464358
>For entry-level positions, the employer doesn't really care about experience.

REALLY? SWEET, LET ME JUST CHECK MY LOCAL NEWSPAPER

>Sandwich shop sandwich maker
>2 years experience required
>Office cleaner
>3 years experience required
>Shelf stocker for local supermarket
>1 year experience required
>Petrol station cashier
>1 year experience required

Oh...

Apply for apprenticeships.

You obviously dont need any experience because its a fucking apprenticeship.

You'l get shit wages for 3 years, but you'l come out fully qualified in whatever trade.

>>2464859

Lie about experience. Just get a family member to pretend they own their own business and you used to work for them.

>>2464318

>I became a "gentleman of the night" and it pays well.

How do find clients? I'm fit and bi anyway so gay for pay doesn't bother me. What type of stuff do you need to do for guys?
>>2464558

>>2462833

>Desperately need money

Anyone who isn't in full time work should be looking for side jobs.

Yard work, website creation, painting and decorating... stuff like that. If you have day hire employment agencies in your area sign up for them and get a few days work here and there.

>>2464859
what we're saying is they put that experience requirement in there hoping for the best, but in the end they're going to have to chose someone from whoever applies, if no one applies who has those qualifications then someone else gets hired.

I've applied for and gotten jobs was under qualified for. I interview spectacularly though. The problem is GETTInG the interview.

>>2464859
This may be relevant to my area because there are a shit ton of health care facilities, but most of the jobs on their websites require High school diploma/ GED at best, no experience beyond maybe familiarity with fucking Microsoft Office and best of all... it will count as experience in healthcare/health facilities in the future.
Anyways, if you guys haven't tried indeeddotcom for jobs, you're doing it wrong. Monster and others are terrible. Indeed will link you directly to the company's website for the job openings, and a lot of them aren't very professional (of course this will depend on your area)

>>2464880
But when 200 people apply for that one position, they DO get the people who have the experience.

Which is fair enough, but it still fucking sucks for everyone else who's been working age for 3 years yet hasn't had a single job because every fucking job requires experience that he can't get because every fucking job requires experience.

Since I get government assistance, I can't volunteer. Since I can't volunteer, I can't get experience. Since I can't get experience, I can't get a job. Since I can't get a job, I have to get government assistance.

I AM PERPETUALLY FUCKED

Try to find work at the public sector. Usually they are less demanding when it comes to your resume. Sometimes they even hire people they know can't find work elsewhere. It's worth a shot. So try schools, elderly homes, hospitals and shit. If you start out with a private contractor, you will get fucked in the ass with how they will take advantage of your position

The job market really sucks right now. Mostly because the employers are in a position where they can ask whatever salary and hours they want and they'll get away with it. Some are recommending internships. I say fuck that. Don't work for free. Have a backbone.

>>2464895
>Since I get government assistance, I can't volunteer

Shit, this is retarded

>go to centrelink
>ask for assistance since I can't get a job
>oh you're volunteering at this place
>yeah for work experience so I can get a job, but I need to be able to buy food and pay bills which is why I'm here
>oh but if you're volunteering you can't get assistance
>uh.. why not?
>because unpaid work is still work
>so I'm supposed to never be able to work?
>well if you can get a job volunteering surely you can get one that pays
>end up quitting volunteer job so I don't starve

YAY GOVERNMENT

all you guys are all such fucking morons. really. all of you. especially op.

you know what you do if they want you to have experience?

YOU LIE.
YOU LIE ALOT.

YOU LIE ABOUT EVERYTHING. not even some small stuff, you lie about the biggest things you can lie about.

lie about education, lie about experience, LIE LIE AND LIE SOME MORE, YOU FUCKING MORONS!

everybody in the workplace lies. absolutely everybody. they lie about how much they liked their bosses in the interview, they lie about how much experience they have, they lie about how qualified they are. LIE LIE LIE LIE LIE.

like 2 years ago i got a job at rogers, a large telecom company in canada. i was inbound sales. i had no highschool diploma, no experience, and nothing going for me. how did i get the job? I LIED. i just told them i had a HS diploma and they didn't even bother checking it. i gave them my dad's and aunt's phone numbers and told them to give me a good reference. I even gave them a list of things to say when the phone call eventually came through.

>>2464953
(continued)

if you dont have anyone to do that for you, then find a service online, they will do that for you (they exist, google them).

i ended up being in the top10% of sales, and if i stayed longer i think i would of been the best seller there. and i had 0 experience. lesson to be learned today: LIE!!!

also, you have to be good looking/charasmatic to get a job. me, im 6'0, look good, have straight teeth and a large jaw. employers love hiring good looking people, they are stupid like that. so if you're ugly, get a haircut, some achne treatment, whiten your teeth, get a nice good looking fake resume with lots of fake expreince and a fake university degree (this is harder to pull off, but it's do-able. i've read stories about a lot of executives and CEO's who lied about their education), and you can get a job. a good one. the better you lie and fit in, the better your salary will be.

To my surprise, Poland, where I live suddenly became a leading EU outsourcing country and thanks to my somewhat rudimentary familiarity with english I can get jobs.

No education, just punch numbers into forms all day and occasionally call someone. After two years of taking calls all day erryday (60+ a day) this feels like heaven and the pay is good enough to sustain me.

It actually paid off to read this 4chan bullshit so much

It's probably unimpressive to most of you but I'm happy to at least be able to sustain myself.

>>2464957
>just punch numbers into forms all day

Good God. My dream job. And I'm in Poland, too.

Maybe I shouldn't kill myself just yet. Maybe there is still hope.

OP just sling. You'll make shit tons of money and it'll be non-taxed for the most part. Also for first time offenders it's a slap on the wrist. By the second time you should have enough money for a nice lawyer to save your ass.r

>>2464859
You're demonstrating exactly the kind of lacking comprehension skills that makes people ask for experience.

Again, with a teaspoon: they don't really care whether you've worked X years as something even if they write it, they just want to know that it would be possible for you to pull your weight for X years.

You having done that before is a good way of knowing that you can do it again, which is why they put it down as a requirement.

>apply for part time job online for a supermarket that's about to open
>'we will let you know within a month'
>I applied on the application deadline date so didn't expect to get the job
>no response
>oh well
>get a response 6 months later saying I was considered but not chosen
The fuck. I didn't care at that point.

>applying for jobs w/ a friend
>hit an art store
>"you need five years *minimum* in retail to work here, plus you should be an artist yourself and know all these brands"
Nigga Goddamn. Really? Five years experience in retail and a lifetime of art experience for a minimum wage retail job? FUCK. YOU.

Just what I was looking for. A career thread.

Guys so thoughts on Electrical engineering? Pros and Cons? I suck at most subjects except maths. Anyone else an electrical engineer? Where are you working and what do you do? How did you get passed the OP's problem of experience? Internship?

>>2464879
>Yard work,
lol nigga is you serious what am i an illegal immigrant???
>website creation,
most people do that themselves since getting a wordpress site is easy as shit, and freelancing is *really* hard
>painting and decorating
most people demand experience in that, if not degrees in carpentry or interior design or whatever the fuck.

I am 20. I had no job experience like you guys. Now I have a full time job, a 5 minute walk from my house. Now, granted, I got lucky, but the key was Craigslist. Go on Craigslist, and reply to any jobs in ur area u might be interested in doing. I ended up getting an interview with the owner of the business, and he liked me so I got the job. Independant businesses are great, because they bypass the usual HR shit that prevents you from getting a job.
>HR: The assholes who throw out your resume because u are new to the work world, and have no experience even though you were studying for 4 years.

>>2464953
>if I got to tale advantage of a fluke, why can't you??????????????????????????????????? all you gotta do is lie and cheat and steal
the American Dream right here.

>>2465119
>most people do that themselves since getting a wordpress site is easy as shit

Yeah, because everybody wants an amateurly made Wordpress site for their business.

>>2465129
I'm a storemanager for a local game retailer, despite having a great degree. This job has little to no career moves. Make like $ 15 an hour, to afraid to quit because i'm going to be jobless for the rest of my life :(

>>2465142
Have you seen most small businesses' sites? they'll fucking settle

How do i find people that are willing to pay me for killing someone?

Should i move to iraq?

If have No work experience volunteer or get in touch with an agency.

Also, guess what? That job you want working at Hmv or whatever cushy retail shit everyone else wants to do lower your fucking expectations and work In a care home or a factory or some shit and get some money and references. That's how I started and now I'm a nurse studying medicine.

>>2465233
You have to log on to the deep web.

>decide to switch majors in early 20s
>get a CS degree from a CC
>get a CS degree from a 4 year
>pretty decent programmer
>being a foreign student means can't legally work so no internships for me
>talk to some recruiters/consulting companies before graduation
>tell me I have to lie on my resume
>want to place me in testing instead of programming
>my research of these types of business show that they typically try to shaft you where pay is concerned
>8 months later still dont hear from none of them
>fuck dat shit
>re-intensify my own search
>see "entry level" jobs
>4+ years needed
>years of experience with a tons of shit I've never even heard of
>tfw always watching the phone and checking email but not very optimistic
and they all said software development was a booming industry
FUCKING BULLSHIT!

God damn, if you still have time switch to something at least vaguely related to health care. Like, half the job postings I've seen relate.

also since I like keeping track of shit I applied to I found this site particularly useful
>http://www.startwire.com/
maybe it will be of some help to anon since it not only has job adds but tracks and updates you one one you've applied for

>>2465408
>8 months later still dont hear from none of them
That's your problem.
Software was a booming industry, but when the market is flooded with such high supply already meeting demand, you can't just sit around and hope that your qualifications make people come to you. You call and call and call and bug them (politely) to the point where they'll feel that the only way to get you to shut the fuck up is to give you the job.

Missed your chance, and now the only jobs out there require you to have the experience that you weren't able to get.

Anywhere else in the world, education is what you need to get a job, since job security is a given and employers only want to make sure they're hiring people who have proven to be in a higher social class than the working class by having attended ridiculous amounts of university. In America, you need aggressiveness, since class distinctions are more muddled and employers don't want to spend time and money trying to motivate you to learn how to work their software the proprietary way they do it (also why they want you to have experience). If you can't understand this, you're already fighting an uphill battle.

fajke your experience, set up a fake company, fake address, get friend to act as the guy at the fake company.
so fucking simple.

fucking hell i own my own company from faking everything from the website.

>>2465497
>You call and call and call and bug them (politely) to the point where they'll feel that the only way to get you to shut the fuck up is to give you the job.
>implying I haven't done all this shit
seriously it's a lot more complicated that just not being aggressive
besides as I mentioned before the whole thing was kinda shifty set up. I would never have felt very comfortable with it.
at least now I can find something based on my own relative merit and look for the jobs I want instead of jobs that would be easier for the company to make money from

I cut the honesty shit a long time ago. I stretched the one job I had for 2 years to 4 years, and I made up a computer repair job that is my "current" job just to keep my resume from getting binned because I am unemployed.

So far none of it has helped me get a job. I need to make up a believable engineering internship or 2 to help get me an edge. Maybe you guys can help me.

>company name
>location
>duties

>>2465707
le penor inc.
345 santa fe

cleaning inspection engineer

should I swtich to an education career

I mean only 2-3 more years of school and I am 24

;______;

>applying to walmart
>get interview
>it's only me and one other guy being interviewed for the same job, 50/50 chance of getting it
>Other guy's name is Joukwon, looks scruffy as hell and inappropriately dressed for an interview
>Girlfriend is already working at that store, good chance of getting in
>Turns out Joukwon gets the job
>Girlfriend finds out he also had a felony charge
>mfw walmart would rather hire felon Joukwon the scrub than some 20 year old ugly white guy with no job experience

>>2467510
They may have to, by law, hire him over you due to diversity bullshit.

>mfw can't get a job, i have the ass burgers
>apply for government work, complete diversity questionnaire
>that feel when i get hired to fill disabled persons quota

File: 1337194182619.jpg-(158 KB, 505x560, a7461e91-1a0a-47da-8e24-258d60(...).jpg)

Black master race strikes again

>>2467531
Do you need to be professionally diagnosed? Because a lot of self-diagnosed asspies here on /r9k/ may be able to get some work.

>18 years old
>No work experience
>Tell friend I'm looking for a job in casual conversation
>"We've got an opening at the store I work at if you want"
>He puts my name forward
>Manager hires me immediately based on the recommendation, didn't even look at the stack of applications that had been handed in

It wasn't glamorous work and the pay was minimum wage, but after 6 months I had some work experience and a glowing reference saying I was a hard worker, good team player, followed instructions and used my initiative, which was worth its weight in gold in future applications.

>Job fair for some shit warehouse job in California
>Over 100 fucking people there of all ages, races, sizes and genders

Fucking what

>>2467510

so your girlfriend is a girl that dates an ugly white guy and works at walmart?

she must be a knockout!

>completely disregards the story and insteads try to find reason the dude's girlfriend is ugly
I bet you get pussy all the time brah

>>2467510
The fuck man? I work at walmart and they hire everyone. Even people who dont speak english at all. And on my interview I was wearing jeans and shirt, proper clothing for 20 year old. You are try-hard with tuxedo and fedora I guess. How do you even have gf?!?

>>2467510

In Wisconsin, employers of felons get incentives from the government.

>>2467659
brb committing a felony.

work in the food industry.

fuck i always thought about attending culinary school or becoming a sushi cheff.

Taking meth and cooking? drinking yourself into oblivion at night? hey man....

if you really want money you will get it, believe me

>Be martial arts student
>Be 17
>Martial arts instructor knows I'm awesome
>Has to go to Germany for two weeks, asks me if I'm interested in filling a position while he's gone
>Accept, $19/hr for mostly doing fuck all
>I'm awesome at that too, asks if I want to keep doing it
>Accept
>Making $11/hr in high school for doing mostly nothing with no experience
>Currently 4 years experience in a job related to my field with no effort whatsoever

Suck it.

>>2467591
you think that's bad?
>new supermarket opens up in my area
>1500 people turn up to apply for 80 jobs

>be yesterday
>go to chili's restaurant
>talk to manager
>be told to print, fill out application, & see her again
>be 40 min ago
>meet different manager. give application
>she skims then reads job history
>Tells me they usually hire those w/ 1 year of 'serving experience '
>Tells me to apply as host
>Tell me to do so in 2weeks-1 month cos they don't need one
"Okay, thanks for your time"
>for some reason reach for application
>she thinks I was going for handshake
Ohhp.
>Awkwardly shake her hand
ShitNigger!jpg.
Ehhgh...

Walmart, Mcdonalds, Target, etc will hire anyone, yes, but the problem is that these places get swamped with hundreds of resumes

I dont think my resume could beat hundreds of other resumes, i think its all about luck. If they happen to look at your resume, like it, and give you a call