1. Not yet. Plan to.
2. Yep.
3. National Security Adviser
4. My porn collection and my admin account at Wikipedia.

1. No.
2. Why, of course.
3. Any position which whilst holding mild to scarce responsabilities, will allow me to live a fullfilling life.
4. My fetishes :3

1. no
2. maybe after i stop drinking
3. weapons design
4. the fact that i have done drugs in my past

First off be honest about everything. There's something called the whole person concept, which says if you used to be a fuckup but now you're not, then it's OK. Here's a list of appealed security clearances for DOD contractors. It may not directly relate to what you're doing, but it gives you an idea of the process. Also some of these are funny:

http://www.dod.mil/dodgc/doha/industrial/

>>2435246

why would wikipedia be an issue?

1. Yes
2. I did, although it takes forever
3. A research position in one of the national labs
4. I just had to prove that my father was a citizen, even though he was born overseas (in a US military hospital)

>>2435299
It shows his loyalty to Israel over the US. It's well known that Wikipedia admins are all members of the Fighting Keyboardists of Zion

>>2435315

awesome... what pay grade are you? did you have to do the polygraph test?

>>2435324
>shows his loyalty to Israel over the US.

Seems like he'd fit right in to me.

'accessing inappropriate pornographic websites'

i think none of you guys can apply

>>2435337
I was just a lowly summer intern. I think I was a GG-9. No polygraph was necessary.

>>2435387

how was the program? did you like it?

how the hell would they know if you used drugs?

do these people fail drug tests or fail polygraph tests when asked about usage????

The only experience I have applying for a government job was a scam, I'm sure. I called a number in the paper for a postal service job. The way the woman explained to me, they were basically going to tell me everything I need to know to pass their little post office application test (probably a lot of common sense) and I think there was job placement involved. But it was NOT the USPS itself. And I had to pay them $190. I didn't have my checkbook at that moment, but I wouldn't have agreed to that anyway. Rip. OFF.
Anyway, the postal service was laying people off, last time I checked.
:/
I'm having a really hard time finding any sort of job, though. Been looking for a month or more. I have no money in bank and live with family. Shit sux.

>>2435412
Yeah, I liked where I was working. It wasn't what I wanted to spend the rest of my career doing, but it was interesting work. Could have stayed on full time, but I went to grad school instead.

>>2435413

well, you have to polygraph for higher than confidential clearance. also, the questions they ask are very broad about drug use and do not ask for explanations. just yes or no.

>>2435413

You admit it yourself. If you don't and the .gov people find out, they revoke your clearance and/or take you to court for lying to them on the clearance forms.

06/09/2008

This 57-year-employee had major illness and unemployment that caused financial difficulties. He filed Chapter 7 bankruptcy in 2005. The petition was discharged the same year. He has worked more than 30 years and is highly recommended by his employer. When he was 17 years old he had a charge for statutory rape but he was not convicted. He also had a conviction from the 1960's for destroying property and robbery. He has not had any other criminal conviction in 40 years. In 2005, Applicant was hunting with his bow and arrow. However, his sons and friends who were using guns had them in Applicant's truck. Applicant was charged with possession of a firearm but the charge was dismissed. Applicant fell behind in child support but he is paying on that obligation now through payroll deduction. He has mitigated the criminal conduct and the financial considerations concern. Clearance is granted.

>>2435457

what do you do now? what are your plans?

The Applicant is a 29 year old Linguist seeking employment with a defense contracting company. While working at GITMO as a linguist from 2004 to 2006, he received three separate complaints for misconduct. This misconduct included attempting to sponsor an authorized person into GITMO, accessing inappropriate pornographic websites and losing his security badges. Sufficient rehabilitation has not been shown. Clearance is denied.

dear god.

>>2435477
I'm in the second year of a PhD program. I haven't decided on industry/govt or academia yet. I've still got 3+ years before I graduate.

05/12/2006

Applicant has a history of choosing inappropriate locations to masturbate. His decision to masturbate in a church pool in 1986/1987, on three occasions in his office after work hours in 1998, and outside his home in January 2002 raise questions about his judgment and reliability. Such conduct is likely to make him vulnerable to coercion. He has not mitigated the security concerns related to this conduct. Clearance is denied.

>>2435286

i can read these things all day... it is kinda motivating me, actually.

1. No, but I did interview with a couple of FBI employees that were on campus.
2. Maybe. I would definitely pass the credit checks, and I don't have any outstanding violations on my record. I was told that, the main thing I should never do is lie during the polygraph tests. According to the recruiters, "We don't care if you've done drugs in the past, as long as you aren't doing them now. Hell, even if you are, just be honest about it. Lack of integrity is an automatic disqualification."
3. I'm an EET, so doing any sort of field work would be rad. I can get a job like that in any industry, but the FBI seems cooler.
4. LOL 4CHAN, OF COURSE

I Do work for the government. I worked for the Department of Defense and (until recently) on the NSC staff. I am a foreign policy analyst. so here are the answers.
1. Yes
2. Yes. Your background doesn't have to be perfect, but you cant have anything serious in there recently. They understand that a 18 yo might make a few dumb mistakes, but you have better knocked it off by 20.
3. National Security Advisor.
4. A felony conviction for joy riding when I was 18.

>>2435230
1. Nope, might do in the future.
2. Of course
3. James Bond, but with more sex and less chance of dying.
4. My trollan about supporting Al Qaeda on 4chan

Applicant used marijuana on numerous occasions after receiving a clearance in 1983 and eligibility for access to Sensitive Compartmented Information in 2000. He did not disclose his marijuana use on his security clearance application in 2005. Clearance is denied.

This made me rage a bit.

>>2435902
Why?
He poses a security risk.

>>2435902
so you think its OK to be hired by the govt then turn around and break its laws?

>>2435246
What school are you going to?
What degree?

>>2435884

when you applied for your job, did you feel like your application would not be considered due to your felony conviction? did you have to disclose everything before the DOD was interested in hiring you?

>>2435926

It's more an issue that marijuana use alone would negate an otherwise worthy candidate.

Let's get our priorities straight.

>>2435902

i know... i hate hippies.

>>2435969
The government don't want to employ people who break the law? Heaven forbid!

1. I work for the government.
2. Already qualified for all secure areas at the facility
3. I design and build and program surveillance robots (fucking awesome)
4. 4chan.

>>2435966
I did not know how it would affect me at the time. I was upfront about it and gave them a ream of paperwork from professors and employers, my parole officer, everybody I could think of.
I told them from the get go about it and they kept telling me that I would not be automatically denied for it but it was a big deal. My co interns and boss told me not to expect too much. But they approved it on the first go round.
Key factors was the fact that I had Very good credit, had not even a traffic ticket since and had no record of drug abuse, and had excellent grades all the way through grad school.

holy shit that guy on the right looks like abe lincoln without the beard

>>2435969
If you pose a security risk it doesn't matter what your other qualifications are.
>>2436043
do you go to 4chan from work? What division do you work at?

>>2436012

what was the interview process like?

lol


09/17/2008

Applicant was convicted of illegal possession of child pornography, a felony. He downloaded images four or five times a week for ten months, downloading about 1,000 images. He saved about 100 images, many of young but sexually developed girls, because he found them sexually stimulating. He was sentenced to five years in jail, suspended, and five years of supervised probation. He will be on probation until about October 2011. Clearance is denied.

>>2435969

probably more the fact that he lied about it

I was going to apply for the CIA, but it says you cannot have used illegal drugs in the past year. Unfortunately, I have smoked weed probably about 9 months ago (just graduated college)...so I dunno if I should just wait, or what.
It does say use of illegal drugs in the past year will be decided on a 'case-by-case' basis.

>>2436062
I never go here from work. Thats just nuts.
But when I worked at the DoD I borrowed a co-workers i-phone touch and saw that he had been going here on it. Whether that was while he was at work or not I do not know.

As far as where I work I used to work in the Congressional Liaison office at the DoD. Last year I was offered a new job on the NSC staff. Now I will be looking for a new position. Maybe back with DoD or even private sector.

>>2435969
they're not really concerned about him smoking a joint. if they were, they'd prosecute him for it.

the issue is that he chose to do something illegal AFTER he was hired into a secure position. If he's willing to place self gratification over the laws of the land, then he's a security risk.

Imagine if he's willing to sell minor secrets to Iran for $10,000. It's the same exact situation.

>>2436160

Not really. There's kind of a huge difference between smoking pot and treason.

>>2436123

i have a simular issue, although with another agency. i smoked over the 4th of july but really wish i hadn't. i can do without the stuff... now i am considering joining some substance abuse program to deal with this.

1. No
2. US born and raised
3. CIA Operative
4. Juvenile arrest record for shoplifting. Charges dismissed, but guilty as sin. Was a klepto, still get the urge to swipe things now and then. Dunno if that would help be as a spy :P

>>2436184
ok wasn't completely honest there. technically it was burglary and grand theft, since i went in with the intention of grabbing stuff and tried to run off with over $400 in goods.

It's not as bad as you think it is.
I assume you're an American applying to a U.S. Government job.
1. Yes
2. Yes
---
4. DUI

Dude, they don't care that you've done drugs in the past, they want you to admit what you've done and not have any secrets or allegiances that could bite you (and them) in the ass later. If you have prior major felonies than you might not be right for a government job as well.

Most government clearances are SECRET. Which is the equivalent of a background check that any major employer would do. They're concerned with prior police reports, outstanding warrants, etc only caring about MAJOR crimes, not the usual piddly teenage shit.

Top Secret: okay they might come out and talk to your friends and family.

Top Secret/SCSI: they're talking to some of your friends and family (some investigators are more determined than others) and you'll go through a polygraph (it's not that bad, most of the investigators are friendly, some are ex-cops and get a little too into the thing but those tend to get removed). If you're questionable sanity-wise, they'll do a psych eval.

hope that clarifies the process somewhat. finally: stop freaking out about the drugs. be honest with them and don't do them WHILE holding a TS or above clearance.

PROTIP - if you ever want a job with a security clearance, don't ever take anti depressants or pull some fake ass emo faggotry like pretending you're depressed. it's like the kiss of death

>>2436123
What should I do? Weed isn't the only drug I've ever done; I've snorted a line of coke once, but that was probably about close to 5 years ago. Done shrooms a few times, 3-4 years ago...I dunno if they get into all that. I'm clean other than that, no record of doing anything bad. I have stolen things though.

>>2436236
maybe wait a few years, grow up etc.. then try again.

>>2436220
just shut up. people in the government are all kinds of crazy. quit passing on stupid rumors

>>2436184
Being a Klepto will not help you being a spy. Spies are more like Robert Redford in Spy Game than James Bond.
Don't tell them you think you are a klepto, unless they ask you during a polygraph, then you are fucked anyway. Just be honest about the rest of it.

>>2436245
yeah I'm sure the Military/FBI/CIA/NSA really want some whiny depressed fag to work for them. Can you imagine an air traffic controller who was a cutter? LOL

>>2436255
yes, I've met them. you're an idiot that has no idea what's going on.

http://www.opm.gov/forms/html/sf.asp

This is a link to the Office of Personnel Management. Most secret clearance jobs require you to fill out a SF-86. You can look at a blank copy in PDF form here.

>>2436211

thank you. that is very helpful.

>>2436266
Seconded. I've met people with some serious shit going on in their heads in positions I thought would preclude serious mental deficiencies.

>>2436292
teh file is damaged and could not be repaired....wat?????

>>2436211

i'm really curious as to what your 3.--- is.

>>2436318
mathematicians tend to be a little crazy. no correction, a metric fuck ton of crazy. we called some of them wall-lickers because they would walk next to walls, tracing the wall with their hand.

if those guys can get in, other peeps have a good chance as well

>>2436335
works for me. i dunno mac are superior lol. just google sf86

>>2436245
>>2436266
>>2436318
>>2436352

oh jesus. you emo fags want validation AND opportunity? fuck off.

For a 16-month period Applicant engaged in frequent and sustained high risk behavior by engaging in sexual encounters with individuals she met on the internet or while frequenting night clubs. Her behavior continued until she was arrested for prostitution after placing an ad for sex in an open classified internet site. She placed the ad using her company computer while holding a security clearance and on temporary duty assigned to give software training to federal law enforcement support personnel. Applicant was unable to mitigate security concerns under sexual behavior, information technology, and personal conduct. Clearance is denied.

wow... she sounds fun.

>>2436348
Asymmetric Warfare Information Analyst is one of the positions I've held. The names of jobs are designed to be obscure.

you can also find the file under gsa.gov's forms link, where you will find standard form 86.

also, save the file to your hard drive by right clicking and selecting save as. it will open with adobe acrobat which you can find at adobe.com.

next, enroll in vocational computer training, such as that found at itt-tech.com. they will teach you many great skills about file management.

>>2436368
Jobs that require security clearances are just jobs, not superhero shit. If you ever make it into the secure world you will be quite disappointed. Personally, I recommend staying in the corporate world and making more money. Government service means service.

There's a reason that the second leading cause of selling secrets is due to money troubles. the gov pay is decent but not great and you'd make twice what you would in the corp sector for the exact same work as a contractor.

sorry, this >>2436335
was for >>2436405

>>2436086
I don't really have anything on my record, so the "interview" was basically just signing paperwork. I've never had any negative contact with law enforcement/government so I was in pretty good shape. Also never done drugs

>>2436476

are you mormon? who the hell has never taken drugs before? i know that all the smart kids from my high school have smoked pot except for the mormons.

>>2436429
you'd make HALF (or even a third) what you would in the corp sector for the exact same work as a contractor.

>>2436429
look i'm not into comparing dicks alright. i'm just saying that for the intense positions, depression will become a factor in hiring. maybe not on the security end but i know the cia and fbi do psychological assessments and they don't do them for entertainment.

you're living in dreamworld if you think a bipolar faggot can get a ssbi

>>2436551

even with the greater pay, private contractors still must screen their employees and undergo the same clearances as within our government agencies.

>>2436572
intense work?

95% of gov jobs are not intense. you want a security clearance, get an accounting degree.

if you're looking to get a job as a CIA/FBI field op/agent the process will be different but most gov jobs are boring and take place in giant, secure, office buildings.

Applicant is 39 years old and not married. He had a seven-year relationship with a woman he met over the internet, but never met in person. He became engaged to her and sent her substantial sums of money during those seven years. Although he lost access to sensitive compartmented information (SCI) with another Defense agency as a consequence of it, he continued the relationship for another year while working for his current employer, another defense contractor. He failed to mitigate the security concerns raised under Guideline E, pertaining to Personal Conduct. Clearance is denied.

doucebag.

>>2436616
I was referring to:
1 and 3 from original post

but yes I agree, contractors have to get same or similar clearances to work in the same area. though when we called tech support we'd turn off some screens before they arrived. they couldn't have gotten some of the clearances but then they weren't locked into a gov job either.

>>2436516
4.2 GPA in high school
never touched an illegal substance
also, never drank while i was underageb&

Hey its me, the quiet Indian American student who sat in the back. While you filthy neckbeards were playing vidya, failing class, and engaged in low level thievery and drug use, I was busy working the books. Now it's job hunting time, and I've got a great GPA and solid references to carry me forward. What do you have? A resume with links to your greatest posts on 4chan? You guys are so funny, seriously. My parents came here with nothing, and I've never forgotten that. It drives me. Oh well, maybe you can stay with your rich mom while you look for a job. Just don't tell her about the hidden folder on your hard drive!

>>2436652
one guy in the 80's over in Europe got turned a double to the Russians in a similar situation, poor douchebag. if I remember correctly he turned himself in before doing anything stupid.

brb, going to find the CIA report (open info) about this shit.

>>2436772
>GPA

if you dont have a portfolio, you don't have shit.

>>2436813
Ironically, with the economy as it is, if you DO have a portfolio you are quite likely to also have shit.

>>2436772
gpa doesn't help you get a job. just wanted to remind you of that.

>>2436846
Exactly right. 99% of business will look at a 3.8 and say, ok, can you show me any examples of your work?

fuck it, I'm tired and have to finish some school work. interesting sites:

they have some really interesting classified info: http://fas.org/

a good idea of how boring gov jobs truly are: https://www.cia.gov/library/index.html

good read, especially in reference to how smart people can believe in really stupid theories (IRAQ HAS WMD's AAAAAHHHHHHH KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT):
https://www.cia.gov/library/center-for-the-study-of-intelligence/csi-publications/books-and-monograp
hs/psychology-of-intelligence-analysis/index.html

remember gov jobs are just like civilian jobs, just with a little more paper work and less pay

>>2436772

rage. i have held great jobs without these things, including systems integration, home automation, industrial automation, network administration. i learned these things not from books, but from experience and guts. and further, i've had a really fun and fulfilling life so far, despite a period of being on the fringe of society. i've traveled, explored, loved, drank and partied. i've also organized successful charity events and rallied suport around a cause... report back to us once you've tasted the fruits of life, then i'll consider what you have to say. in the meantime, stfu.

>>2436902

hey, thanks for all your input! take care.

>>2436902

Also, the new book "Shadow Factory" is a good guide for the intel community.

>1. have you ever applied for a government job?
Yes. Fish and Wildlife.
>2. do you feel like you would qualify for security clearance?
I *could*, but not if they had any way of really finding the truth about me.
>3. what would be your dream job in the government?
Forgotten bureaucrat, someone who is paid in high five figures to do almost nothing. With no supervisor.
>4. what would be the most difficult thing about your life to explain to an interviewer that knows all your secrets?
Irrelevant. No interviewer can know all your secrets. Even hooking you up to a "lie detector" is dependent on what questions they ask. Besides, she knew what she was doing. And she looked 18 to me.

>>2436989
one last thing

JAMES FUCKING BAMFORD? HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA

we used to read his books on the floor and giggle

secret moving walls HAHAHAHA

the government appreciates all of the misinformation he spews, free counter-intel is free

Applicant used marijuana over 100 times between 1972 and 2007. He stated that he does not intend to use marijuana again but that he would if it was offered to him. The record supports the Judge's conclusion that Applicant is an unlawful used of marijuana. Adverse decision affirmed.

1. No, I have not applied for a government job?
2. Maybe. I'm sort of sketchy with no friends and no family. I live in a quiet little world of my own making. This either makes me perfect or perfectly undesirable. I don't know which.

> 3. What would be your dream job in the government?
Ah, now here's the good question! Ideally, some sort of research/blue-sky type job where I'd write reports on future trends. Lots of time doing statistics and studying databases. Ideally, this would be best if there were NO DEADLINES with my project either.

4. I have a bad memory, so I'd feel very insecure during the interview. The interviewer probably knows more about my life than I can remember. He could tell me lies and I couldn't refute them, as I wouldn't be so sure myself.

>>2437128

a quiet world of your own making? you don't have anyone you come in contact with?

1. Yes, Department of Justice.
2. Maybe.
3. US Attorney General or Supreme Court Justice.
4. I have probably slept with too many girls to hold office.

>>2436292
Crap. I'd fail on question #16:
>List three people who know you well [...] for 7 years
I have two problems with this:
1. No friendship has ever lasted that long for me
2. No one knows me well.

The more I type, the more I start feeling like that hitman in the movie with Nicole Kidman.

Applicant mitigated the security concerns raised by his January 2004 molestation of his minor step-child by the passage of time, the public knowledge of the offense, the favorable prognoses from his psychotherapist and the psychiatrist who performed his pre-sentencing evaluation. Clearnce granted.

EH?

>>2437226
Except for 4chan, everyone I deal with in the world is a purely transactional thing: If I need X, then I go to the guy or girl who has X and exchange money for it.

At work, I show up in the morning, say hello to whoever I might meet on my way to the office, work all day, then say good to whoever is left in the evening. I doubt many people know my name although I haven't changed companies in over ten years.

Outside of work, you can usually find me at the grocery store or at home. Alone.

>>2437317
you should probably apply to the gov then if you want to. you sound like a perfect worker bee

what's your degree in?

>>2437272
its the federal government not a neckbeard contest. you are exactly the type of person i don't want my tax dollars to go to

>>2437338
I have five years of undergrad education in chemistry, physics, computer science, German language and literature, philosophy, and electronics. I also have no degree (and really wish I did).

>>2437122
shit, using marijuana 100 times between 1972 and 2007 is a bad thing???? i smoked weed in college and probably used it around 400 times...i don't anymore of course, and haven't for almost a year. should i not bother applying??

>>2437378
Yeah, I am the perfect worker bee. Sitting at my office desk sometimes, I look up from the computer screen to ponder if there might be something more to this world. But the moment passes and I get back to work.

I hate vacations, by the way. I have no clue what to do when I'm not at work. I have all my vacation days since 2005 even though they're not officially bankable where I work.

>>2437378
1) finish your degree. preferably maths, you sound like an NSA type, I'm not kidding and it's kind of an insult in some circles. you'd fit in there, from what you've said so far. people have a tendency to get "lost" in their structures and can bend their job to some extent. if you can justify your "blue sky" stuff as relating to national security than you've got a good chance of being able to work on it and get paid.

>>2437437
That's very tempting. This Anon is 34 though. It's probably too late for me to go back to school. You know what they say about old dogs and new tricks.

>>2437272

actually, if you read what they are asking, they want you to provide consecutive references over a 7 year span. so, 3 years and the 4 years would be ok.

>>2437468
I know a 70 year old that just finished her undergrad in comp science. finish your degree. soon. some of your credits have probably already expired.

stop whining and just do it.

>>2437488
Yeah, I really should do something with my life while I still have one. Having an unrewarding job is sort of eating away at my insides.

>>2437521
think of it as an exciting new hobby. like pokemon where you try to collect 'em all

with approx 120 you get to go to the next level!

>>2437389
does anyone know how to answer this?

>>2437565
yes, apply. the CIA's reqs are more stringent. most agencies just care that you've stopped taking drugs and aren't dealing or still hanging out with your old dealer(s)

yes, apply.

>>2437582
ok, thanks man

mewtc0ck

>>2437468
I remember when I was 34. Ahhh, to be young again.

I don't like my job very much, although it pays very well, so I started a new career last year. It's a bitch starting from the bottom in anything but I'm having a blast.

Live is not supposed to suck.

>>2437565

well, look at all the applications that get shitcanned because of drug use. it may have been a year without use but without entering a treatment plan, there is no mitigation and you get denied. if it has been two years, that would be different.

>>2437643
those are people that already have clearances, which means they are held to a different standard than applicants

>>2437594
No it isn't. Life is to be *something*. I only wonder what that something is.

>>2437676

it appears that some are review hearings, where revocation is approved or denied, but clearly there are a significant number of appeals for new applicants. look at the nomenclature.

>>2437710

life is a subjective rendering. to it's smallest detail, it is what you make it to be.

>>2437726
how the fuck are you going to revoke a clearance that an applicant wouldn't have

Applicant used marijuana on numerous occasions after receiving a clearance in 1983 and eligibility for access to Sensitive Compartmented Information in 2000. He did not disclose his marijuana use on his security clearance application in 2005. Clearance is denied.

The Applicant is a 34 year old Production Engineering Support Technician with a defense contracting company. His arrest and methamphetamine use in 2005, while holding a security clearance, and his failure to reveal this adverse information during his special security access investigation in 2006, has not been mitigated. Sufficient rehabilitation has not been shown. Clearance is denied.

vs

Applicant used marijuana over 100 times between 1972 and 2007. He stated that he does not intend to use marijuana again but that he would if it was offered to him. The record supports the Judge's conclusion that Applicant is an unlawful used of marijuana. Adverse decision affirmed.

which the applicant shows no sign that he would not use marijuana

if the applicant had said that he would not use drugs while holding a clearance, he probably would have been granted clearance

I *did* used to have a job in the government (UK Civil Service), and as a result I managed to get security clearance. It was easy in my case, since literally everyone in my family has worked for the government, and we're apparently trustworthy. Ideally, I'd like to be something like Permanent Undersecretary or something in the Foreign Office.

>>2438403

Admit it, you just want to be Humphrey from Yes, Minister.

>>2438403
white people helping white people? in the UK? i'm shocked!

Do u love the southside...?

>>2438463
Hell yes! He's the one secretly in charge, after all.