There was this one kid in middle school whose parents let him read porno mags and watch the porn channels on cable. Going over to his house was downright surreal. It was weird as fuck to be looking at Playboy or watching some bitch getting hammered on TV while his mom stood in the kitchen in plain sight of everything acting like nothing was out of the ordinary.

The weirdest part though was that he wasn't allowed to watch Nickelodeon. Never figured that one out.

captcha: Parentage, vbeiti

I could write a god damn novel about everything my mother has let me do. As long as I'm honest with her and we talk it out first, she pretty much let's me experiment with whatever as long as she knows I'm in a safe environment.

She's the type of mother who will go out and buy me a gram of quality weed when she knows that I'm feeling down and depressed.

My mom was really bossy until I turned 18. Now she doesn't give a shit and let's me get hammered at home and doesn't bitch about my drug use and let's me have girls stay over and everything. Especially when she's drunk (it's often) then she doesn't give a fuck about anything. As for a story--
>buys me a Heineken keg
>huge adult party at my house
>I get hammered
>play with fireworks
>girl in my room
>mom calls me because she is wasted and can't find me
>I don't get laid
>anger
>somehow end up in my attic
>it's dark and I can't get out
>smash everything
>try to punch through the wall
>finally get out
>parents find destroyed attic weeks later
>we all have a good laugh

There was one kid two grades below mine whose mom supposedly fucked like half of his friends. They couldn't have been a day over 16/17 either, if even that. The way everyone told it was that she would supposedly offer to take the virginity of any of his friends that hadn't gotten laid yet. Never even met her, but the story was legendary at our school.

I want to suck on that mom's disgustingly freckly tits and cum on it a bunch of times and make her lick the cum off

Im a bad person i know

>>2325000
Oh, and she was somewhat hot, too. Solid 7/10. I know I said I never met her, but I did see her at school events. I just never got introduced to her or spoke to her.

>>2325060
>tfw you were the only male that didn't get to fuck her.

My mom is like my best friend, always let's me do things because she knows I'll do it anyway, really close, some people say a little too close, but what ever, it's fun and saves water

>>2325072
"Half of his friends" means like 4 or 5 people tops. It wasn't a whole bunch of kids. And that's assuming they weren't all making it up (although I have no idea why someone would want to make up a story about their own mom being a whore).

>some people say a little too close, but what ever, it's fun and saves water

o lawd

>>2325157
What is the quote in your greentext from?

>>2325173
christ, the stupidity knows no bounds.
>>2325084

>>2325084
lol i actually thought that was a pretty good punch line in the end. but it was probably stolen.

4/10

I knew one "cool mom" when I was in high school who let her kids (and their friends [which included me]) do pretty much -anything-. She was incredibly annoying. Not nearly as fun as you'd think.

the coolest parents aren't ever home.
My boyfriend had a friend when we were 14 years old who's mother lived with the boyfriend so she just gave her sons the house. And we all basically lived there at 14 years old. Drugs, sex, booze, whatever the fuck we wanted.

my mom doesn't really give a shit what i do, as long as i'm not openly breaking any laws or whatever. she drinks and smokes a lot, both cigarettes and weed, so i doubt she'd be upset if i did it, i just haven't really felt like it yet. she used to be a little more strict, but after i dropped out of high school she pretty much just stopped caring. she yells at me to do the dishes sometimes because i'm home all day doing nothing

maybe i'll actually do them someday

>>2325224
>She was incredibly annoying. Not nearly as fun as you'd think.

THIS. "Cool moms" (and "cool dads" too I guess) are really just trying way too hard to earn the approval of a bunch of teenagers. They're really more sad than "cool".

>>2325219

>punch line

I've showered with my mom since like foreever, it's fast and saves water and we can talk and wat not

>you never got loved

never knew this is weird until very recently:

>be 14
>a friend of my dad is talking to him about catching his son masturbating, they share laughs etc.
>later that night
>asks me if I ever masturbated
>truthfully say I didn't ZERO sex ed from parents\school, all my "friends" were girls
>he explained it's perfectly normal and healthy to masturbate
>ended up with my dad putting a random "amateur babez" video, sitting my bed and showing me how to masturbate he insisted I'll sit next to him and masturbate until I'll come

>>2325244
Holy fuck... Craziest story you have from that house?

One of my best friends in highschool had overly-permissive parents. All of my first drug experiences were at their house. Good times, good times.

>>2325274
This is fucking horrifying.

bloxkedjhdbfj

>>2325278
Preferably one involving sex.

>>2325278
I mean there wasn't any orgies or nothing.
We all just played video games together, smoked weed. Experimented with other drugs because my bf's friend's older brother lived there. Got drunk and threw up a lot. Had sex in his mother's bed with our significant others.
Now if we all lived there now, in our early twenties I'm sure there'd be a lot more crazy things we would be doing.
I miss being 14...

>>2325274
this sounds like something you'd see on an american pie prequel

>>2325274
It sounds creepy this way but if it was your mom it would totally hot.

momsex
momsex
ooooh momsex

>>2324911
>>2325254
>>2325084

how does it make you feel? are you okay with it? do you think she was a good parent?

having a babyboy soon

>>2325274
>read that post
>terrifying-flashback-mode-engaged
>dad is a cop
>his partner and him were both shot in a drug raid
>both spent their recovery time at my dad's place
>both had their hands in plaster casts
>I was 16 at the time
>I helped them shower every other day, wasn't a big deal
>2 weeks into their recovery period, while I was helping them shower they were both somewhat-hard just from me sponging them
dad:"ehm...anon...we talked about this earlier. we got a favor to ask"
>he didn't need to say anything else
>jerked them both off
>ridiculous amounts of cum

I wish I could forget.

my dad definitely wasn't an overly permissive parent, it wasn't very sexual either.

I'm probably my mom's best friend. My parents trust me to the end of the Earth. I could probably get away with anything I ever wanted to but, being me, I never exploit that trust.

>>2325502
vietnamflashbacks.gif

>>2325244
when i was in HS around that age, there was this kid whose dad used to let everyone party at his house. no one really liked the kid, and everyone knew the dad as "the DAD"
the kid usually lived with his mom, so he wasn't around. but drugs, sex alcohol were constant. it was basically a flop house
looking back it was creepy. the dad would do coke and smoke pot with everyone and then fuck the underage girls

Not really that exciting. I told my dad I smoked weed after the first time I did it. He did not approve, but as long as I keep it in the garage and never go anywhere while stoned he doesn't care.

>>2325502
Are you a guy or a girl? This is EXTREMELY important.

>>2325741
Please, for the love of god, answer this question.

>>2325502
Are you female?

please say yes

>>2325502
>>2325274
all those feels
mom left when I was 8, dad never even dated
>be 13
>discovered fapping
>was too into it to bother being surreptitious
>dad comes home to me furiously fapping
>"don't let me stop you"
>he went to the kitchen while I "finish"
>was too much of a mood killer, so I just stopped
>"you done yet?"
>"nah, you're a buzzkill?"
>he entered the living room, sat next to me
>"oh come, don't be like that. it's nice to see you're not a kid anymore anon. I'll join you"
>he whips it out and starts stroking
>something about the vibe was enough for me to go again (I was unimaginably horny at 13)
>we just fap together, no looks were exchanged, nothing said, for about a couple of minutes
>"you don't know it's like yet, but someday, maybe even soon, you'll know what it's like to touch a woman, and how it's like when they touch you" -he was obviously really sad- "that part is over for me. it's funny. you masturbate to fantasies, and I masturbate to memories"
>started a speech about he loves me more than anything, and him missing mom, about how he's lonely, and "misses the touch of another person"
>I felt really bad for him, and I was lonely myself, I very cautiously put my hand on his thigh, I guess I was gonna jerk him off.
>he thought I want to hug him, so he hugged me
>our tips for an awkward second
>I moved back a bit, he didn't
>he hugged me closer
>our dicks were pressed together
>he started jerking us off together
>"I love you, anon"
>"I love you too, dad"

never spoke of this again.

>>2325741
>>2325775
>>2325784
male straight
nogirlsontheinternetblox

>>2325000
I knew a kid whose sister basically did the same thing, but with only two of his friends. If you were really tight with this kid you could fuck his sister whenever you went over there. He didn't even give a fuck. He'd stay in the computer room and play FPSes on his dad's PC while his sister got fucked in her room.

This kid was my best friend so I got to fuck her about once every week or two starting when I was about 13 until I was about 15. She was actually a total dead fish, but I got to play with her incredible titties while I porked her and she always let me cum on her, so I always had fun. Plus she was two years older than us and was legit the hottest girl in her grade, too. Seriously a 9/10 with DDs. We always theorized/joked that she was adopted because the rest of his family were horse-faced and just downright ugly as fuck.

And I was grateful as fuck to that kid, too. For years afterward whenever we were at a party I'd always get him drunk/high/laid. Never made him pay for food either. Always bought him cool/somewhat expensive shit for his birthdays.

>18th birthday
>MURIKA
>Come home really, really late
>Dad asks me the next day how much I had to drink
He seemed more happy that I was out being irresponsible more than anything else.

>>2325801
due to repressed emotional breakdown I had some missing words:
>"oh come *ON*, don't...
>you don't know *HOW* it's like yet...
>our tips *MET* for an...

>>2325812
>i've seen some shit.jpg

bloxjeg kjhbf

>>2325814
Cool story if true, but off topic technically.

>be 16
>mum smokes weed infront of me
>i say "if you smoke i can smoke"
>she shrugs and says i can and then says how its not bad for you etc
>i don't even want to smoke it
>she offers me some

>>2325502
>>2325801
This is supposed to be a "overly permissive parents thread", not a "getting molested by your dad thread".

>>2325801
>he hugged me closer
>our dicks were pressed together
>he started jerking us off together
>"I love you, anon"
>"I love you too, dad"

OHGODMYSIDES.avi

>>2325877
gotta let the thread flow, brosef.

besides, these are hot as fuck

>>2324908
I think I've seen you post about this before. Either that, or it's more common than I care to believe.

>>2325894
I posted that story last year (I don't remember which board though, it might not have been on /r9k/). If you've seen it since then some faggot was reposting it.

>>2325244
yeah i knew a guy whose dad was hardly ever home from when we were age 12-16. i forgot what he did exactly, some kind of businessman, but anyway he was rich and his job required him to be away from home for long periods of time. and he was divorced, the mom lived elsewhere. so their son lived alone in this huge ass house like 9 months out of the year

many fun times in that house especially after we discovered drugs and found a way to get booze. this all ended junior year when his dad found out that he had completely stopped going to school (not even i or any of my friends knew this, the kid went to a fancy private school and we went to a public one) and sent him off to one of those creepy offshore teen behaviorial rehab centers, i haven't heard from him in years

one of the funniest moments: we accidentally activated his dad's burglar alarm which for some reason consisted of Michael Jackson - "Thriller" blasting at an eardrum-shattering, earthquake-inducing volume. picture a bunch of stoned 14 year olds running around holding their hands over their ears "DUDE WHAT THE FUCK TURN IT OFF HOW DO YOU TURN IT OFF"

>>2325502
>>2325812

oh god i threw up

I knew two brothers who were allowed to masturbate whenever and wherever they wanted to at home, as long as no one was over, even if it was in front of their mom. We were all just starting puberty at the time and so we would all do it in the same room together which is horribly fucking disgusting and I hugely regret it, but we really were too young to know any better then. They weren't supposed to be doing it while I was over there though so we would just go to a different room than his mom and jerk off to either old copies of the SI Swimsuit Issue or one of the kid's bizarrely large collection of bikini contest videos.

>>2326004
Incase it wasn't clear enough from my post, we didn't jerk off each other. There was no gay shit going on, even if what we were doing was completely fucking retarded.

>>2326047
Tons of guys did some fucked up gay/borderline gay shit growing up, bro. No need to get defensive about some goofy experimenting you did as a kid.

>>2325890
>>2325877
>>2325801
>>2325502
>>2325274
this is now a "pseudosexual moment you had with your dad thread"!

>be 17
>cycling fanatic
>tried to impress a chick
>ended up failing a jump
>stopped the landing with my hands
>the seat did some serious damage to my groin, both my hands were broken, and my legs got some serious damage as well
>3 days later
>resting at home
>I stink
>dad announces he'll help me take a bath
>my dick, my ballsack and a significant portion of my crutch were dark red and extremely sensitive
>dad starts soaping me
>he goes "HERE WE GO" started cleaning my dick
>instant-boner
>a small grunt-moan escaped my mouth
>mocked at by my dad
>he says he understand
>starts jerking me off
>20 seconds into it
>worst pain I've ever felt
>yell loudly, ask him to stop
>he does
>says I'm gonna have blue balls.
>I say nothing can be worse than what I just felt
>goes back to bathing me
>cleaning me
>suddenly hurts like a motherfucker
>he says I told you so
>starts jerking me off again, saying then when I'll cum it'll pass.
>I explain that my dick is too sensitive from the crash, he explains that the blueballs is gonna be worse
>awkwardness level rising
>"the things I'll do for you"
>dad starts sucking my dick my first blowjob
>feelsamazingandfuckingweirdman.jpeg
>he stops for a second "Cum in my mouth and your life ends today"
>I stop him a second before I cum
>he stops, starts jerking me
>moment lost, didn't cum
>terrible pain from stroking
>he was frustrated, and so was I, ended up agreeing to let me cum in his mouth
>I did

that feel when my entire sexual experience is a blowjob from my dad

Not really on topic but I'll contribute.

Back in middle school I had a close friend that I experimented a lot with (both male) and we always used to jerk and suck each other off, we never tried anal that was really gross to us. One time I went to his house and his mom was cleaning the kitchen, his mom was the perfect MILF. She had big tits, tight waist and a big ass with nice hips. My 14 year old hormones were raging and she was wearing an apron with a tank top and panties underneath. I immediately told her I was sorry and was heading for the door but she told me to stay since Chad (my gay lover's name) was coming in a couple minutes. I sat on the couch and watched her bend over to clean the coffee table, that's when my boner rose with the force of a angry dragon. I was wearing basketball shorts and tried to cover it up but she noticed when she was fixing the couch pillows and I had one on my lap. She jokingly took off the pillow from my lap, not knowing my penis was waiting to be unleashed under there. She was surprised and smiled when she saw it bulging through my shorts. She grabbed me by the hand and lead me up to her room where well you can guess what happened. It was my first time being with an older woman since I had only been with 2 other girls my age and one boy which was her son. She was tighter then I expected for an older woman and was a great fuck, she even let me cum on her face afterwards. Chad came about 5 minutes after we finished and I just sucked him off to be nice since I just had fucked his mother. I fucked his mom about 6 more times after that but our friendship started fading once we got into high school, haven't seen him in years now.

>>2326124
It was just jerking off in the same room. There was no "experimenting".

>>2325502
>>2325801
>>2326133
This is now the most horrible thread I have ever read on /r9k/.

My friend's mum was really nice, but very strange.

He's diabetic and she let him eat whatever he want. When he was 13 he had a pretty bad hypo. Lucky for him he survived and came out stick thin from being a tubster. Stayed that way since.

But yeah, once we turned about 15 his mum got a new boyfriend after divorcing his dad and basically moved in with him (the boyfriend lived about 40 minutes away from the town we lived and went to school in) and let my friend stay in the house they were renting before.

So picture this. 15 years old. Constant free house.

Needless to say, parties and good times were had there most weekends. Fuck, I'm getting choked up thinking about that house.

Thank you Mrs. Simmons for letting your son live on his own for the last 4 years of school.

>>2326124
Ah, this is so true.

Most of them turned out straight, but I'm bi.

>>2324890
>Mom went to another city to work, Dad already worked in said city so they were both together there, I was 14 and had school so that left me in the house alone
>Grandmother lived two streets away, the deal was she would come over to check up on me
>During that time a close friend of mine decided to empty his parents' bank account to buy jewellery for his girlfriend, hence getting kicked out of the house for it once his parents found out
>"Come stay at my place bro, my mom and dad are gone for a while"
>Doesn't take a long while for all my friends and acquaintances to find out
>It_begins.jpg
>The house literally turns into a teenager run place, girls we know come over to cook us food; me, my friend and soon enough a whole bunch of over people stay over for days at a time - and then of course there's the copious amounts of booze consumed and constant screwing around
>Party at my place becomes a common thing
>We alternate between partying and making sure my grandmother doesn't find out
>Hilarity ensues as more than once I am stuck trying to hide the people in the flat under the beds/in closets/on the balcony
>Have shitloads of stories from that flat, great memories and whatnot, lasted for more than 6 months
One of best times of my entire life, I shit you not

>>2325084
Post of the day.
>...some people say a little too close, but what ever, it's fun and saves water
Initially, I wtf'd, then broke out laughing.

fuck this thread. i was fapping and then remembered several posts and started picturing my dad helping me fap and went completely soft
thanks

>My friends mom regularly walks in to her room to rip bong with us
>She rolls the sickest blunts
>Most of my friends have parents that let us fishbowl bathrooms and shit
>Please don't make me go to college.

Bump for a good thread?

>My friend's parents would have sex on the couch for our entertainment.

>friends mom
>lets him have parties with beer and weed every weekend so he'll love her

I love his mom so much.

>THIS FUCKING THREAD

Why did you faggots have to ruin my night?

>>2326372
>>2325084
no. not post of the day.
that was derived from an abercrombie and fitch shirt like 8yrs ago

smells pretty summery in here MAH NIGGA

>>2328731
I love those parents.

>>2328040
>i was fapping and then remembered several posts and started picturing my dad helping me fap and went completely soft

Imagine how bad you would feel if that made you harder

>mfw this thread
greentextmfwblox

>>2328040
>>2328761
>>2328838
>lurking on 4chan
>not used to this kind of shit
I don't even care what year it is.

>>2328718
>>My friend's parents would have sex on the couch for our entertainment.

Holy fuck... Give some details, man!

>>2326206
My boner just broke through my pants.

More stories please... I need to finish fapping.

>>2324908
Nice copypasta, faggot.

That insult was used before bloxx

>>2329131
That's probably not even copypasta. I knew a kid with a family kind of like that, that just sort of let him watch the porn channel. None of the other stuff. He's an okay guy, I still talk to him sometimes.

Another kid I hated was more like that, but I fucking hated that kid. I think it's a thing about trashy people living in otherwise nice suburbs. They get double trashy as a reaction to all of the dildos with sticks up their ass calling them trashy all the time.

I smoke weed with my mom, dad, aunt, and uncle every Saturday.

This woman was kind of OK:
>Friend's mom
>Friend had parties at his house all the time
>Booze, weed, sex
>Both guys and girls slept over in his basement
>Friend's mom would come downstairs in the morning with pancakes.

This woman is NOT OK:
>Mother of acquaintance
>Super interested in high schoolers' lives.
>Even sex lives
>My sister's friend recently came out as gay
>This woman has a chat on Facebook with sister
>Woman: "So Billy-Bob is gay now huh?"
>Sister: "Yeah I guess."
>W: "That's interesting, but I mean gay people are the same as us."
>S: "Right."
>W "Except for the whole penis-butt thing."
>S: "..."
>W: "Cum in the crack."

To be honest, I don't think letting your kid do whatever he wants or acting like you're "hip" makes you a cool parent. A cool parent is someone who respects her child enough to know he will make mistakes, but loves him enough to help him learn his lesson afterward.

To my friends I have the "cool" parents, but it's weird because my dad is always uptight about me drinking and doing things, but will offer cigarettes and booze to my friends.

And even though he told me to never do drugs, he found my friend's bong in our garage, and just laughed.

Then one time my mom and her best friend took me and a friend out to dinner, and started asking us about the drugs we did. Then started talking about what they did in college.
"Oh yeah, shrooms are fun."
Weird thing to hear from your mother and a woman you consider a close aunt.

>>2330466
>tfw my parents are straightedges that are opposed to smoking, drinking (except fine wines during special occasions), and all illicit substances

>>2329131
Not copypasta. I'm the same guy who posted the first version of that story last year.

>>2330874
tfw your parents give you shit for smoking pot and yet you later find out your dad was once paid with a fucking jar of pot, all your uncles used to smoke pot, and most still do
>pic related, some of my uncles friends

>>2325812
That makes it hotter. It really does.... Jesus, my brain is all sorts of fucked up in the sexual department.

>>2326133
continuing the godawful chain of my dad jerked me off stories:

>be 15
>tried cooking my own lunch for the first time
>clumsy as fuck
>spilled hot oil on my hands
>during my *recovery period*
>tried to shower using my elbows and arms creatively
>didn't go well
>awkwardly asked my dad for help
>he helped me
>boner after not fapping for almost a week
>dad looks at me briefly
>somewhat-awkward silence
>jerked me off without saying a word
>never mentioned it again

Mai waifu-bot wanted to party with her son and his friends until she found out he was a chomo.

>be 17
>"dad, i need money to buy alcohol"
>"m'kay, i have some in the bag, take as much as you want"
>"I'm going to a party, i'll sleep there"
>"If you fuck, use a condom, but you already know it ?"
>"Yep"
>"Have a nice evening"

>15 living with my Dad
>get my own PC w/ internet access
>shut myself in my room, for days on end
>There's a knock at the door," Hey Champ, do you wanna go to the ballpark/ movies etc. with me?"
>NOOO
>quietly, "k, there's food in the kitchen, you have my cell number"
>hear the sound of his footsteps, retreating
>It kills me

>>2326133
>>2326133
>>2326133
>>2326133
>>2326133
>>2326133
This goes for all the other stories like it before this, I HOPE THESE ARE ALL FUCKING LIES.

>>2326229
Speak for yourself man.

bloxsdafafsa

>>2326004
>we would all do it in the same room together
Oh come on, everyone did that. Seriously, don't tear yourself up about some weird borderline gay shit or experimenting you did as a kid, we were all batshit insane horny, had limited access to porn or other forms of release, and at a vulnerable stage where we and those around us were trying to figure out how the hell how to handle our throbbing erections. Just don't sweat it bro.

>go out to party
>mum cleans my room while I'm out
>thoroughly checked any aluminium foil she found for weed so that she wouldn't throw any out

>tells me her goal in life is to become so good at manipulating people they'll tell her their life story and hold nothing back

>understands people perfectly, correctly guesses my friends' personalities and secrets from meeting them once or twice, predicts what conflicts and upsets there'll be

I have a really weird relationship with my mother that makes everyone else think she's a bitch, but fuck I wouldn't trade her for anyone else.

>girlfriend comes to visit me at moms for first time
>we're all in living room
>mom and her boyfriend decide to leave house
>as she walks out she says
>"have fun you two, don't forget to lock the door, I don't want to walk in on you two fucking."
>GODDAMMIT MOM GTFO

>>2326253
>tfw the first time you realized you might be bi was when you were jacking off in the same room as your friend and thought "man I think I might really enjoy sucking that dick"

I want to rip that milf's top off. Holy shit.

>17 years old
>mom catches me smoking weed
>proceeds to join me in smoke session
>end up watching several movies and have a mother-son bonding moment

Same thing happened with my grandparents a month later. I love my family.

>Be lazy 19 year old living with single mother
>Mom co-signs for a brand new 2012 car
>Doesn't give a fuck what hours I come home at night or who I hang out with
>Only has two rules for me: Wear protection when I fuck, don't get arrested

>That feel when virtually unlimited freedom, yet I still don't do drugs/get drunk out of respect for my mother

Love ya Mom.

>mom spoils the fuck out of my older sisters who are 20 and 21
>doesn't do jack shit for me

Thanks mom

>>2331902
This post gave me feels

asdblox

>>2331951
Not that guy but a whole bunch of my friends went upstairs into my room once to watch porn in the same room as each other. I stayed downstairs and then they told me about it afterword. I think I'm literally the only person who isn't some kind of a sick fuck.

>>2332047
You aren't kinky at all? You've never done some weird sexual shit? C'mon, everyone's a sick fuck at least a LITTLE bit.

>>2324911
Is that you Erin?

If not, I will use this text for OC.

My family was balanced in a way.

Let everyone else do what the fuck they want and then demand perfection from me.

My mom is so cool.

She goes to Atlantic City yearly with her best friends and they smoke weed on the beach at night, not giving a fuck about cops.

She saw my brother playing the game "Sniper Elite" and thought it was cool, so she suggested we go over with some pizza and beer and watching him play it. She doesn't even drink either!

>>2332137
I once saw a woman peeing, but it wasn't really sexual. It was kinda cool, but I didn't get a boner. The woman's bathroom was closed and she was just pissing in the men's bathroom.

My parents were weird for me. They'd always give me the benefit of the doubt when it came to grades, curfews, and drinking. But at the same time were the type who would freak out about drugs and not going to church. Luckily I never got caught using drugs but if I did I can only imagine the shit storm that would have ensued.

First time I got drunk
>At a cottage with my mom and dad
>It's in the middle of wine country
>They buy several bottles of wine, and stop at the liquor store to get beer and wine coolers
>My mom is a lightweight, and my dad keeps refilling her wine glass when she's not looking
>She drinks about 3 times as much wine as she thought she did because of this and gets really drunk (only time I've seen her get drunk)
>She had let me drink a cooler earlier but now that she's drunk she seems to want to get me drunk
>Keeps offering me wine and coolers
>My dad is telling me shit they did in the 70s, he tells me they did shrooms together at a halloween party that they bought from her cousin
>She goes to bed
>Have some beer with my dad
>We sit around the campfire and have a man to man talk

I never had a curfew or got in trouble for drinking or smoking pot (I don't know if they knew I smoked pot but a lot of nights I came home reeking and giggly with red eyes and just munched on nachos waching SNL with them, so they probably did.)

>>2331726
Is english not your dad's first (or second [or third]) language?

My parents are pretty laid back, I've never really been in any real trouble.
>have known that I've been drinking since about 15
>have woken up to them looking over me in hospital after I got an ambulance there, they didn't even get mad, just concerned about me
>have constantly held parties all my life where they would get shitfaced with their friends
>still go to concerts and festivals and shit despite pushing 50

I know my family used to/still smokes tonnes of weed as well. My dad lived in a town renowned for its pot used back in college, and I'm sure he's smoked up with my cousin-in-law once.

Some stories
>have that crazy blacksheep aunt
>both her and my cousin are massive stoners
>she goes to my cousin's house to pick up the Green Lantern
>my cousin's mom, her sister, hears him talking about "the Green Lanternt" and yells at them not to sell each other weed
>they lol

Another story:
>before I was born, grandparents had a farm
>one day my grandma found a hemp-looking plant somewhere on the property
>asked my dad if it was weed
>he says it was
>she asks "... do you wanna smoke it?"
>erryone gets baked
>grandma just laughs the whole time


And some obligatory borderline-gay shit:
>me 14, bro 12
>we're staying at our uncle's house in england
>bored as tits, he starts to annoy me so I play-wrestle him
>fall on the floor still wrestleing
>we start rubbing crotches
>oh god this feels so good
>we keep doing it
>kept a semi
>stop wrestling immediately
>we sorta look at each other with an understanding expression never to speak of this again


Not as bad as some peoples, but it's still a memory.

grew up with parents that had 7 kids before me. they'd all moved out though.

i could never get away with shit because they knew all the tricks but more often than not it would go something like this

>come home drunk
>dad comes up to me
>"hey anon, you look pretty drunk haha"
>know im in shit
>"n-no i wouldnt do that"
>"why not? it makes hitting on chicks easier"

then i would be grounded for the fact that i didnt tell them i was going to go out and get wasted, rather than the fact that i was going out and getting wasted. i learnt pretty quickly to be honest and eventually they trusted me enough that i could go and get away with a shitload more than other kids

>tfw i'm now twenty and several of my friends still have fucking curfews and shit

My mom's exactly like this:>>2324911

Insane gun nut here, by the way.

One time, when I was 14 she got me a box full of black powder vials, and miscelaneous lab equipment for AP synthesis. Always backed my gunsmithing experiments up too.

>>2330090
>"Cum in the crack."

Fuckin' lost it here.

>>2326133
too many feels.
long time lurker, first time posting:

>be 12
>older bro is 16
>play dare and dare often, usually resulting in a grand-scale disaster from a kid's perspective
>bro was a perv so I knew about fapping as a kid, but I haven't done it yet
day 1:
>bro: I dare you to jerk me off first time anything remotely sexual was mentioned in our dare or dare games
>I complied
>jerked him off, he came in my hand, felt disgusted as hell
>game kept going with me stupidly giving him random dares
day 2:
>bro watches a porn with a girl screaming for the guy to let her "eat his cum", I said something about it being disgusting, he mocked me about not liking the porn, really hurt me for some reason
>dare or dare time
>me: eat my cum
>he complied it was very clear he was having a hard time going through with the dare, I remember thinking it might be the first time I'll get him to lose the game
>jerked me off till I came my first time right into his mouth
(1/2)

>>2333001
day 3, valentine's day:
>mom woke up early and told us our aunt is in the hospital, didn't want to wake up our dad who got back from work at about 5am
>whatever, we don't care
>bro watches a porn video with a girl sucking a dick
>asks if I like it
>I say I do was lying, it seemed kinda weird and disgusting
>he takes out 2 pairs of handcuffs from his closet he was into magic
>bro: dare or dare
>me: fine
>quietly followed him to my parents' bedroom
>he handcuffed my dad to the sides of the bed without waking him
>bro whispers in my ear: get under the cover, and suck dad off like the girl in the video, don't let him see it's you.
>he stayed next to me lying on the floor to make sure he won't be seen, rushing me to suck my dad's dick
>took off dad's pants, was still sleeping
>put the tip in my mouth
>felt disgusted as hell
>tried to imitate the girl in the video as much as I can
>dad:"ooo, jenn mom name, yeah, don't stop"
>started to get really verbal
>suddenly felt his dick harden and fill my ENTIRE mouth
>could barely breath
>he started thrusting in and out
>sick to my stomach
>couldn't back down on the dare
>trying hard not to cry
>spent 10 minutes with my dad's dick in my mouth without taking it out for even a second to breath
>came on the back of my tongue and kept on thrusting
>most awful memory I have
>realized I'm not mom
>what the hell is going on
>blame my brother, who was under the bed at the time
>dad makes us swear to never tell anyone
>we don't

pretty sure he stopped loving me ever since.
(2/2)

>>2333005
>>2333001
dadthrustscockintoson'sthroatblox

Bump for fapping material

>>2333005
i can't even imagine what kind of position that put your dad in.

>>2333001
>>2333005
Between this and recently learning how angler fish mate, I'm pretty sure I don't want to live in this world anymore.

>>2333134

OH GOD. WHY DID I LOOK IT UP.

THE UNRELENTING HORROR.

>>2333134
WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT.
DO NOT WANT.

>>2325549
This is a great story.
I want to be "the DAD"

>>2325490
I'm none of these guys.
To be honest as much as I've enjoyed parents giving zero fucks, a bit more discipline and structure would have done me a world of good.

That said, it's a fine line and really only you can make that choice

fucking A thread

this thread has received 1 of 4 requests needed to trigger archival.

>>2333005
>>2333001
>>2331571
>>2326133
>>2325801
>>2325502
>>2325274
genuinely teared up reading these, it seems mine is the worst one, never told this to anyone, not even online:

>dad is having a mid-life crisis about 2 years after my mom died
>"Anon, it's time we'll take that sailing trip we've been talking about for years"
>it was supposed to be a family trip, with my mom there, she knows significantly more about sailing and yachts than us
>dad takes some extra lessons and decides we're ready to go
>sailing from the UK to Australia, i.e crossing oceans
>two weeks of sailing
>it's night, we're sleeping
>sudden thunder storm
>mast destroyed, yacht badly hurt, things are looking really, really bad
>realize we're stranded at sea
>dad panics
>2 awful days of being completely clueless: couldn't fix the yacht, was too afraid to use the emergency lifeboat
>decide we'll stay on the yacht: we had some supplies, some fishing tools, and it was raining often, so didn't worry about water at all
>just went with the currents
>three weeks later
>we started being really "philosophical" talking about how we can either be doing everything we can to get rescued or we can do everything we can to make our short stay here the best it can be
>start talking about women, specifically my dad's brief dating phase
>start talking about sex
>in retrospect there was very obvious sexual tension
(1/3)

>>2333388
>later that night
>taking turns sleeping (just in case a ship goes by)
>go to dad's bedroom, wake him up for his shift
>he has a huge boner
>we were walking in boxers and weren't hiding our erections about a month after we started sailing
>he says there's no way a ship would come, and that we should just enjoy the time we have left
>started touching himself
>"if you're tired, I'll take an extra shift, and when you're ready to get up, you can take my place"
>"that's not what I'm saying anon. look around you, we're basically the only people in the world" yes, he was beginning to lose it
>"you should go back to sleep dad, we'll talk in the morning"
>dad locks the door
>takes his boxers off
>starts stroking
>we have a few weeks at best anon
>we need to make the best of them
>won't open the door
>at some point it turned into "Anon anon-midname anon-lastname, I am your father, and I am telling you to sit on this bed right now"
>"fine"
>we sat on the bed, his not-really-hard-anymore dick still out
>there's no way around this son, it seems to me like the best thing we could be doing is to make each other feel good for the remaining life span we have
>politely refuse, claim I still have hope (I didn't), etc.
>turned into emotional blackmail about he raised me, financially took care of me my entire life, etc etc. -I owe him-
(2/5*)

>>2333397
>he told me to touch him
>I started stroking him
>instant boner
>he took my pants off
>instant boner
>slowly stroking each other
>"fine I'll go first"
>dad stops stroking me
>gets on his knees
>start sucking my dick
>"Dad. we should stop. people get stranded at sea all the time, we can still be rescued"
>"anon, you have your cock in my mouth, stop pretending the sensation isn't good, and let yourself go"
>closed my eyes, lied on the bed
>came in less than 40 seconds
>without saying a word my dad got on the bed and put his hard dick on my closed mouth
>I opened my mouth, about to tell him to sit on the bed so it'll be more comfortable for me (figured since I came, I'm obliged to return the favor)
>he instantly inserted his dick in my mouth
>he came after a minute or so
>told me not to spit it a second after I already did
>I apologized
(3/5)

>>2333399
>a day later
>I feel ridiculous awkwardness
>dad doesn't seem to
>he wanted to sleep in the same bed
>I said I want to be on the lookout for ships
>day later
>"Anon, come to the bedroom"
>I enter the room
>dad locks the door
>he takes his clothes off
>doesn't say anything anymore
>seemed kinda distant and cold
>took all my clothes off
>"I feel a little uncomfortable too, anon. do you prefer I'll be distant and cold like this is nothing but physical needs, or loving, like a dad"
>"I definitely want you to stop being distant"
>"gotcha"*awkward silence*"son, I'm not happy it came to this, but I'm glad you turned out to be the man you are today, you make me feel proud whenever I look at you"
>"wow. thank you dad, I love you too"
>"now, go ahead and lie on your stomach, and close your eyes, I'll be right back"
>he leaves the room, locks the door from outside
>I lie on the bed, actually did close my eyes, hummed a song
(4/7*, I typed a lot)

>>2333404
I can't fucking believe this thread

FUCKING ARCHIVE

>>2333404
>a few minutes later
>my dad is lying on top of me
>"anon, should I force you into it so it'll be easier, or will you be obedient?"
>"force me into what?" (for some reason, the idea of anal sex didn't even cross my mind)
>"I'll just go"
>no lube what so ever, didn't work his way up to it, just forcefully jammed his dick into my very-much-virgin ass
>he was already on top of me, and positioned himself properly, and my initial resisting wasn't enough
>I was grunting really hard, it was really painful (and physically arousing in a messed up way)
>he didn't care at all, just kept on ramming me furiously
>decided at that moment that I do not see him as my dad anymore
>later that night while he was sleeping
>I took a rope and I tied him up
>he woke up mid-way but it was too late
>got him on his hands and knees on the bed
>and I fucked him
>it had nothing to do with wanting sexual release or anything, I just felt humiliated and wanted to get back at him
>I fucked him violently, I pulled his hair the entire time and he was screaming for me to stop, and I didn't
>I gave him food and water, but I didn't untie him for more than a week
(5/6*)

>and in that week I fucked him constantly, not even for pleasure, I would fuck him, cum inside, and keep on fucking until it started hurting too badly on my dick, then I'd wait it out, and start fucking him again
>I came inside him at least 30 times in that week, he started crying as of the second day, saying he's sorry
>I didn't care
>after about a week I came to my dad's room with some water and let him drink
>then I took my pants off, got behind him,moved the blood-semen stained sheet a bit, and jammed my dick in his ass, started ramming him for a good 30 minutes of non stop crying from him while I forcefully choke him
>suddenly *cruise-ship horn sound*
>realize we're saved
>realize what I've done
>untie dad, throw his clothes on him, quickly get dressed
>ran out of the boat
>scream and wave my hands
>we were saved
>never spoke or seen my dad ever since
(6/6*)

>>2333420

Well that's it, I think I'm leaving 4chan.

My parents pretty much let me do anything...I don't get it, do they not give a damn about me? Or do they think I need to do everything on my own and learn life how it is?

>>2333420
I lol'd at first. Then I kept laughing.

Well, my mom buys me wine..

>>2333429
fucking agreed. this just cannot be topped.

>>2333420
i actually refuse to believe this

>>2333420
Considering I already lost faith in humanity long ago and my favorite quote is a sentence by my teacher who said once "You know, it all exists out there", I actually believe this.

>>2333420
I knew when while skimming I saw "fuck", "untie" and "dad" in the same post it would be some fucked up shit.

>>2333420
cool story bro

WOW you now have to refer to him as the dark side imagine all the funnies that could be had "feel the force of the dark side" etc. man what and icebreaker.

>>2333386
Fucked up greentext story of all fucked up greentext stories history...you've got my vote

this thread has received 2 of 4 requests needed to trigger archival.

>>2333420

I got a boner, am I gay?

>>2333543
3/4

archive bloxdddddddddddddd

>>2333388
>>2333397
>>2333399
>>2333404
>>2333417
>>2333420

Officially desensitized.

>>2333420
> /thread
> /4chan
> /internet

>captcha Bonnti son

>>2333420
when did this happen? the googles found nothing.

>>2333562
4/4 votes
thread archived

>>2331481
>>2331481
Why has noone commented on these badass mofos yet? They look like the Dwarven Mortar Unit und Warcraft 3!
Cool uncles, Anon.

>>2333602
Because "i raped my dad while stranded on a boat" pretty much trumps everything posted and everything that's going to be posted in this thread.

>>2333574
Didn't disturb me at all, it's sick sure but I'm still disgusted at anecdotes from regular peoples regular lives. A person has to be truly sad and disgusting to want a girl who has had several sex partners before him.

Gullible people everywhere.

>>2333611
> implying that story was legit

>>2333647
Even if it's not, there is still something wrong with the anon who posted it.

>>2333611
Yeah, I only just read that. Holy shit.
I'm not gonna contribute to the thread now. It would be like Nickelback coming onstage after Pink Floyd.

What the fuck did I JUST READ?

JESUS CHRIST I JUST CANT WRAP MY HEAD AROUND IT

ILL JUST IMAGINE THAT IT WAS A LIE TO MAKE IT ALL EASIER

>promising incest thread suddenly turned into gay dad stories

>>2333420
This is obviously fake

As for the other stories, they could be real or fake, it's sort of hard to really know. They're probably all fake

>>2326133
This cannot be real can it?

This is one fucked up thread

Man why did I have to have fucked up angry parents instead of fucked up fun parents

This world blows

At least I didn't buttrape my pops on a boat hahah oh man I wouldn't even know what to call that porno

Even if it's completely fictitious, you know that something like that happened somewhere at some point in time.

>>2333767
shut up tripbitch

>>2333638
>not sure if very subtle filename troll

That's Ayman az-Zawahiri
See pic for Mullah Omar

>>2333777
Whatever, dude.
Enjoy your ad hominem attacks, bro.

>>2333782
what the fuck did it tell you

don't make me tie you up on my boat

>Smoke weed
>Mom finds out, gets pissed off
>"You don't know what could be in there! At lest grow it yourself if you're going to do this! "
>"Sorry what?"

And that's how i started growing weed in my mom's backyard

>>2333785
No, son, please, don't!

>>2333765
Call it "Buttraped My Pops on a Boat".

I'd fund it.

My parents, while divorced, have always been extremely laid back. My dad, who I hardly see, simply because we don't have much in common, has been a stoner for as long as I can remember. I've lived with mum since the divorce though, because he doesn't know much about raising children and offers no sort of discipline or disapproval. That's not to say we don't get along, and on the occasions when we do see eachother we sometimes smoke together.
My mum, on the other hand, always allowed me just the perfect amount of freedom. There was no need for real discipline (grounding, spanking), because I respect her enough that just knowing that I've disappointed her is sufficient punishment whenever I cross any boundaries. She and I are pretty much best friends. She's always there for me when I need someone to talk to, she's supportive of almost all of my choices, and we spend a decent amount of time together.

This might draw me a bit of flak, but she and I still hold hands when we walk together. No, it's not a romantic or sexual thing, I'm a femanon. It's just a friendship thing.
Anyway, haters gonna hate.

>this thread
Oh wow...fuck

>>2333800
>still hold hands when we walk together
uwotm8

>femanon
carry on

>>2333782

If you don't want ad hominems, the easiest method is to lose your trips. Can't ad hominem without a solid identity.

Just a food for thought.

>have permissive parents
>let me stay up late
>let me be out all night
>be 13
>start smoking weed
>parents tell me grow it rather then spend all my pocket money on it
>smoke and sell weed through out highschool
>smoked too much weed
>ended up failing all my classes
>kick out of my local baseball team.
>no high school diploma
>develop anxiety disorder due to weed
>work as fucking meter reader,

Thanks mom and dad. Weed has fucking ruined my life so far. What a fucking waste of time.

>this thread
>my face the horror I'm feeling right now, like an itch in the back of my head something lost but found again

Oh god oh god

>>2333909
when you're 70 years old, you might be thinking to yourself with that same facepalm: "jeez, i spent my whole life feeling like shit because i was a meter reader and not a rocket scientist when it didn't matter because any occupation, social status, etc or lack thereof has the same opportunity for happiness"

just a thought..

>>2333909
>blaming your parents for your failed life because they endorsed your habit
Granted, they could've done a little more but holy shit. Stop being a bitch.

>>2333928
The same potential but it's easier with some jobs and social status, which is why he can be happy but as a meter reader he would have to work harder for that happiness than some hot rich man would

>>2333420

sorry bro

>just not believing it for some reason

>>2333588

shit

>just lost my shit reading this

>>2333928

I just had a lot going for me before weed took over my life. I was one of the top Junior pitchers for my state, I payed the guitar really well for my age. I could draw. I started to get sponsored for skateboarding comps/. Shit I mean, it's not like I didn't have fun smoking weed, but fuck me, I wasted a lot of time keeping my habit up then concentrating on things.

>>2333934

Yeah I know I should stop blaming my parents. I wish they push me in the better direction, thats all

This thread is absolutely fucking insane. /r9k/, you're so creative sometimes it blows my mind. Obviously you guys have made this all up, but what's disturbing is that you haven't come up with this on the spot. You've been thinking about this shit for ages.... I'm looking at you "Father & Son Adrift in a Sea of Fuck"-man.

>>2333664

no not really. it was kinda standard stuff.

its just a question of 'who was gonna post it first?'

i saved it just to pick out were he shoulda done better

>>2334028
How do you know he didn't make it up on the spot?

>>2334028
> Adrift in a Sea of Fuck"
I lost it.

sdfasgnlblox

>>2326206
fuck your friendship, find his mom and bang her

>>2328718
slow your roll fella, we need these stories

>>2333928

>rocket scientist: welp gotta collect the rent on me many propertys. ill start with meter reader guy first
>meter reader guy: fuck rents due today! [anti-lol]uughghh ok...weed or rent??

>>2333721
All "I had a hot mom" threads turn into "I fucked my dad" threads

This is the hottest thread ever.

mootbloxcc

> tfw this thread made you hard

>>2326351
stories?
tell us damnit

>Dad wants to talk about drugs
>Tells me how pot and acid will fuck your life up
>Says if I ever want to try speed I should tell him and he will get me some pure shit, because he doesnt want me trying anything thats been cut with poison

Have a few other ones

>Be 14
>Dad taking me to school
>gets cut off by a motorcycle infront of school
>its a parent dropping off his kid
>Dad stops behind him, pulling the handbrake so hard it snaps
>walks up to the guy on the bike
>punches him through the visor
>kicks the shit out him

Right infront of my school. All the teachers made the students go inside while they called the cops.

No charges were laid.

>>2333420
mydadrapedmeonayachtsoitiedhimupandrapedhimfordaysblox

>>2333721
Do you know what the phrase "cool mom" means? It doesn't mean wincest, dude. This was just supposed to be about parents that let their kids get away with crazy shit. Don't ask me how it turned into "stories about being molested by your dad".

>be 17
>constantly go to these students who rent an apartment together
>drink, smoke weed and snort speed there
>get into a shitstorm with a friend there who also knows my parents
>spills the beans the day after
>try to sneak out
>mom cathes me
>long talk about drugs and alcohol and how they are bad etc
>"okay, you can go meet your friends but you have to promise that you won't do drugs again"
>"o.. okay..."
>try out cocaine the same night
I really felt bad about lying to my mom all the time, I was sure that it woul've killed her if she had found out. Luckily, she didn't.
I also threw that guy's bong off a bridge but that's a different story.

>be 14
>have day at amusement park planned out with friends
>agree to meet at friend of friend's (let's call him R) house
>i get there first
>R has sit in his room while he's getting ready
>his father walks in
>introduces himself and tells me he doesn't mind if i fuck his son in his house
>R says "no dad that's wrong"
>i tell him why i'm there
>dad is like "WINK WINK NUDGE NUDGE Okay that's cool! Btw son, I have some condoms in my bedroom fuck her good and be a gentleman. Even if you do get her pregnant, that's cool because you can raise my grandkid here. I don't mind."
>sit awkwardly with my iced tea until R's friend shows up
>be talking with R's friend when dad comes back in (probably hoping we were in mid fuck)
>"WOW! You're here too, R's friend?! A threesome, huh? Threesomes are cool! Way to go, son! I've got enough condoms for everyone so don't be afraid to use them! So don't worry about me and just enjoy yourselves."
>Both R's friend and I agree to wait outside

Now that I think about it, his dad probably just wanted to fuck.

That father/son boat story is a work of art.

I can not contain the information in this thread.

>>2334659
He wanted to make it so awkward you wouldn't have sex, even if you were initially planning on it.

>be 18 leaving for college soon
>hey mom my two friends and i are going to do shrooms out
>on the dock
>"oh, anon, are they safe?"
>yah, totally non-toxic
>"well have fun and dont fall in the water!"

>>2334386
>Says if I ever want to try speed I should tell him and he will get me some pure shit, because he doesnt want me trying anything thats been cut with poison

Sounds like this girl I went to HS with.

my parents are really cool actually, they are permissive on stuff that doesn't matter and then encouraging (and sometimes strict) on stuff that does

>be 14
>at wedding of a family friend with family
>drink too much for the first time, throw up embarrassingly
>parents are cool with it, just take me home and laugh at me the next day

>be 17
>large party with loads of family friends and a few of my friends
>everyone shitfaced drunk
>decide to smoke some weed with my cousin and a few friends
>cousin is too drunk to roll the joint
>i can't roll
>my uncle comes in
>starts laughing at my cousin (his son) about him not being able to roll it
>starts rolling it himself
>my mum walks in
>"that's way too much weed for one joint"
>leaves
>uncle finishes it, takes a couple of tokes and leaves
>wut

My parents are also cool with me smoking weed and tobacco, the only time they got pissed was when I smoked in the car, but they weren't pissed off about the actual weed, just the car.

I'm sure that they smoke weed themselves, which is odd, considering they're well-to-do, middle class, and pretty high earning.

Also, my parents let me have quite a few house parties and normally help me clear up too. I'm happy with my parents, I'd rate them 9/10 (not just because they're permissive.)

>>2335025
>rate parents 9/10
Then why are you here?

>>2333928
Some happiness can be derived from this:

A decrepit old gasman, named Peter,
while hunting around the gasmeter,
touched a leak with his light;
he blew out of sight -
and, as everyone who knows something about poetry can tell you, he also ruined the meter.

>>2335025
Sounds like my father.
When his dealer moved to a different city he'd ask me whether I could get him some weed, but I've never seen him stoned or drunk. And he's very middle-class.

>"Hey, dad, I'm going to GF's place, might end up sleeping over. Ok?"

"Do you have any condoms?"

>"No?"

"Make sure you grab some on the way there. See you tomorrow."

I fucking love my dad.

This thread needs more father/son incest stories.

>be 13
>pee the bed, crying hysterically
>my father walks the dinosaur into my room
>he sucks my dick
>the next day my mom tells me it's okay to smoke weed
>later on my mom finds out I lost my tamagotchi and took away week privileges
>my dad still sucks my dick late at night though

Dating girl for six months.
Have female Internet friend to crash while she's in town one night after going clubbing with her, my girlfriend and a couple of friends.
Mum says girlfriend has to go home. (Live at home.)

It's good my girlfriend trusts me.

Yeah, I took the sarcastic approach.

>dad asks did i use drugs
>flash him the condom in my wallet
>he starts to suck me off
>mom tell me it's fine to fuck my gf as long as i have condoms
>parents ruined my life

> 16
> "can you drop me off at the park?"
> "Okay, here is $20, don't get too drunk"

If only she still gave me money for booze ; _ ;

>dated 18 year old girl
>i was 20
>her divorced mom and her boyfriend regularly gave us money, weed, and alcohol, and didn't care if we smoke or drank at their apartment
only reason i stayed with her for as long as i did. too bad she was a nagging psycho.

Well that's it, I officially dont trust my self to have kids.

doesn't compare to the guy on the boat, but here some fragments of memories I put together.

>be 6
>walk in on my dad masturbating furiously
>ask what he's doing
>he stops, says nothing, we go watch tv
>a few days later
both parents are doctors, really wanted me to be one, and so, every single day I would spend at least half an hour in a doctor outfit pretending to be one, this was not done willingly
>play doctor
>use my stethoscope
>try to put it down my dad's pants
>tell him to take off his pants
>he does, a little weirded out at this point
>tell him to take his boxers off too in an authoritative manner, like a doctor would
>he asks if anyone at school, or anyone I know told me to do this on myself
>I say no
>he goes along with it, in retrospect I think he did it to see what's going on with me
>put my very-very cold stethoscope on his ball sack
>his dick was getting bigger and I was amazed by this
>started examining it from all angles and basically moved his dick around while massaging his ball sack
>at some point it turned into me stroking him
(1/2)

>>2335799
>dad becomes very serious
>stops me, asks where I've learned such things
>told him I saw him do it the other day
>he explained it was something you do by yourself
>"but don't you like it daddy?"
>"it's not something children do"
>"I'm a doctor!"
>basically only wanted to do it because it was forbidden
>he refused
>I got teary eyed, and asked him to let me continue just for this session, and then I'll never ask him to take his pants off again
>emotional extortion worked, he agreed
>not entirely sure what happened next, this is what I think happened fragments of memories, etc
>I was really happy about being able to play with his dick, and I've messed around with it for a good 10 minutes or so
>my dad had a raging boner, the stiffness and size were behind my comprehension
>I'm not sure if I said I saw on tv that doctors used to taste pee in order to find diseases, or if he told me so
>but after a brief exchange of words I put his dick in my mouth
>and he came on my tongue, instructing me not to swallow or spit it
>he came
>told me to open wide
>asked how does it taste like
>I said salty and yuck
>"now swallow and tell me if you feel a burning sensation in your throat"
>it doesn't burn in my throat! are you dick daddy
don't remember his response or anything after that. never mentioned that day either.
(2/2)

>>2335803
>are you S*ick daddy
woopsi.

>>2335803
emotionallyblackmailedhisdadintolettinghimjerkhimofffollowedbyhisdadgettinghimtoswallowhiscumblox

>be 8 year old girl
>still wet the bed, so I have a rash on my ass
>wearing only underwear and a tshirt
>dad notices my rash
>tells me to come to the bathroom with him
>ok dad (I always listened to my dad no matter what.)
>ran a lukewarm bath, which was weird because my dad never ran baths for me
>made me stand in the tub and face the wall
>feel his rough/large hand on my ass, which is sensitive because of the rash
>washes it with soapy water and a washcloth
>"Wow, sweetie, you have a really big butt you know that?"
>feel really embarrassed, start crying
>he says that's it's ok, and he thinks I'm beautiful
>oh thanks dad
>not washing me anymore, but I'm still standing there
>"Stay there."
>hear fumbling and moaning, too scared to turn around
>eventually hot spurt on my ass..
>he silently washes my ass off then tells me to go to bed
>never speak of it again

I don't think that he knows that I remember. To my knowledge, he never did anything else like this.

My mom's a drunk. She's wasted nearly every night, which is awesome.

She's been letting me drink since I was 13. Not even beer/wine, but hard liquor.

Staying at her house was fun. I could do whatever I wanted as long as I never told my dad.

>doing speed for three days as a teenager
>can't sleep, have to work on a farm the next day with mom
>tell her I've been on tweak for three days and can't sleep
>ask her to buy me 6 tall cans so I can be able to sleep
>she does

She's pretty cool. I've went to raves with her and stuff. She's 67 years old

This thread is fucked up. As in, "the type of shit 4chan is famous for" fucked up.
You're all sick
/r9k/ confirmed for most mentally challenged board with worst parental issues

>This thread

I've got the king of boners now, fuck you /r9k/.

>drivinf to hang out with friends
>mom calls me
>"hey anon what are you doing?"
>"nothing just going to hang out with friends"
>"oh and what will you do with them"
>(In reality just play vidya)
>I say "we're going to smoke a lot of crack"
>"Oh you should be careful. That's areal drug"
>mfw I can smoke crack and my mom would care that much

This is a conversation I had a few nights ago. We were discussing what I should do with my life.
>Me - "I think I might become a terrorist"
>mom - "Well if you become a terrorist you will have to join an organization. No terrorist has ever accomplished anything by himself
>"The unibomber was a solo terroist"
>"and what did he accomplish? Nothing."
>"I guess, but there isn't an orgnization worth joining"
>"You could start one"
>mfw

>>2336253
she's just kidding with you, underageb& summer
of course she dont expect you to do these things in real life

I am so glad I have good parents.

>>2335803
>he came on my tongue, instructing me not to swallow or spit it
>told me to open wide
>now swallow

>>2324945
>>2324945

Dude, lol.

Best story,
ever.

>see this thread
>fap to the thought of raping my dad
ineveraskedforthisfeel.jpeg

>>2334028
I once spent a good portion of every night for a week writing a story about how I tied up and raped my non-existent brother while shirking various responsibilities in favor of writing said story. We are a strange bunch, aren't we?

>be 12
>woke up one morning
>realized my underwear are filled with cum
>throw them out the window, never say a word
>next morning
>same thing
>threw them into the laundry this time, hoping no one will notice
>parents didn't say a word about it
>after a few days of waking up to dirty boxers with no memory of a sex dream
>woke up in the middle of the night
>eyes still closed, body is still, but I awoke
>realize my pants are at knee height
>rock hard
>suddenly amazing feeling of a tongue on my dick
>too scared to open my eyes
>didn't really develop early so had a rather small dick back then
>dick balls deep into the mouth, just the tongue playing with while sucking on it
>didn't know what to do
>started twitching my eye thinking I could get a glance of who's doing without showing sign of being awake
>saw my dad, he was preoccupied with sucking, didn't even notice me
>came in his mouth
>he spat it all over my dick
>after about 2 minutes I felt a bucket load of cum on my dick again, which wasn't mine, can only assume he came on me
>in retrospect the wet dreams started to happen after my dad started making my hot cocoa before bed
>and at the night I was somewhat awake I spilled most of it, and cleaned it up without him knowing, pretty sure he was drugging me
>after about 3 months of waking up to cum-filled mornings it suddenly stopped

no idea what triggered it, no idea what stopped it.

>>2338297
>used to wake up to jizz-filled undies often
>that jizz smelled differently in the mornings than it usually did
>never remembered any wet dreams
>in retrospect the morning jizz smelled kinda like my perverted older brother's room

mindblown

So many bullshit pedo parent stories...

0/10 guys

>>2331953
Please tell me your mother is attractive in any fashion. I want to put my dick in her understanding vagina

>>2338383
So many bullshit pedo parent stories....
10/10 guys, many boners achieved.

Final bump? Lord please.

>son&dad
>male&male

are you gay anon?

Btw, BUMP and FUCKING ARCHIVE.

>Parents don't give a fuck about me so they let me do whatever the fuck I want
>They put a television/game system in my room at an early age
>Dad tells me he hates me fairly often
>End up raising myself and having shit social skills because no interaction with other people
>Stopped going to school in 7th grade and nobody ever cared enough to come bring me back
>Go out on extended hiking trips that last for months by myself with nothing but a camping axe and appropriate clothing just to see if anybody missed me when I get back
>Nobody ever misses me. Family doesn't even say anything. It doesn't matter all that much, they never talk to me anyway. I'm basically a parasite to them and the only reason I'm not homeless is because they're too lazy to shove me out. So they just ignore me and give me the things I need to make me go away.
>Nobody would be sad if I died.
>I've been completely alone my entire life

Yeah, I guess you could say my parents are pretty cool.

I just read that FUCKING stranded boat story.
I need a drink

>be 12 and playing with my dick
>have first orgasm
>clear slimey stuff is oozing out of my dick
>be really scared that I broke something
>run and show my mom
>she tastes it and says I'm just growing up
>then she pats me on the head and gives me some ice cream =)

I seriously wish I was gay right now just so I could fap to this amazing thread

>>2341062

>Go out on extended hiking trips that last for months by myself with nothing but a camping axe and appropriate clothing just to see if anybody missed me when I get back


That part is pretty badass

>>2341547
>>2341062
I've read this book before. My Side of the Mountain was pretty good

>>2341547
>implying that being gay automatically makes you boner hard to father-son boating stories?

this
>>2341606
was meant for this
>>2341506

redirectionblox

>>2325084
>mfw she did not protect you from daddy.

haha

my mom was overprotective shit tier. probably why i'm here.

>>2328787
dude, I think you inverted his dick.

This thread is too good to die just yet.
Sadly, I have no good stories about my parents.

I did Hawaiian Baby Woodrose Seeds with my mother once, but just because she was curious. Didn't really have too much of an effect, she just seemed overly drunk. I spent most of the night playing VTM:B

STOPITBONER

rapingmydadmightbejustalittlehotblox

OP here. I had assumed that this thread had been forgotten about and 404ed a couple days ago, but then I just saw it in the archives. WTF did you faggots archive this for? It's just fucking stories of kids being molested by their dads. This shit sucks. At least downvote it in the archives so that it get deleted and doesn't take up space that could be used for non-shit threads.

http://www.chanarchive.org/4chan/r9k/45134/cool-mom-overly-permissive-parents-stories

>>2344270
voted up.
the boat story is the greatest tale I've read online.

>>2344270
Fuck you OP, and fuck your dad too.

A bit late on the bandwagon but, oh well.

> be 14
> Dad is a drunk
> comes home late like always and passes out on the couch
> wake up because I always do when he comes home
> he's sleeping with a lit cigarette
> didn't know he smoked
> put it out and climb on top of him
> he doesn't wake
> proceed to poke him and slap him, eventually pull his pants down and play with his dick, be horny so I sucked him off until he actually got hard and got some lube and rode him until we both came
> cleaned him up and went to bed
> Dad looks really haggard in the morning
> wont even argue when I call him out for being a bum again, wont look at me.
> starts apologizing to me
> ask him 'what for?' pretending I have no idea
> he says 'nevermind' in a confused tone
> miraculously stops drinking and becomes a better dad.

He's only 17years older.

> 100% not made up

>>2344577
pretty sure you're the first dad/son incest greentext here in which the son is gay.

So everyone's dad jerked them off? When I go home this weekend I am going to have an angry talk with my dad

OP, hope your dad gets fucked.

bloxbloxyou'reforthecock

>>2344629
Well your school must have at least scheduled a penis inspection day, right?

Mine is really tame compared to everyone else's. Especially that boat story, oh god.

>be like 5 or 6
>dad would sleep naked
>my brother and I would jump into their bed in the mornings while they were still asleep
>dad pretty much always had morning wood
>would play with his boner
>would pull it down and watch it spring up and slap his waist
>called it "doing-doing doodle"
>would do this when my parents were awake
>mother would encourage it humorously

Not sure if that really fucked me up in any way. I feel pretty normal. Other than that my parents were really cool.

>>2335803
>>2333005
got a similar one:
>be 4
>have nightmares often
>wake up in the middle of the night
>go to parents bedroom quietly
>see my mom sucking my dad off
>stood there for a few minutes, they didn't even notice me
>dad noticed me while cumming, pretty sure I ruined their night
>got in their bed
>we all slept together
>the next day
>nightmare woked me up
>joined parents bed
>nightmare woked me up again
>parents are sleeping by my sides, was too scared to go to sleep again
>I seriously have no idea why
>but for some reason I just got under the covers and started sucking my dad's dick
>in retrospect it's kinda surprising I had the patience to do it for as long as I did
>I remember the expanding size being a huge surprise
>and I was genuinely having fun doing it
>suddenly deep thrust in my throat
>sprayed cum on the back of my throat
>choked up, teary eyed
>stopped sucking it
>realize my dad is still sleeping
>didn't even pull his pants up
>went back to bed
not a word was mentioned about it

My family was a bit convoluted. First you have my dad. Grew up in the 60s, partied his ass off in high school/college, did crazy shit, was generally a pretty chill person. Told me some crazy stories, told me that there were crazier stories he could never tell.
Then you have my mom. Grew up in a traditional italian catholic family, dated two people (one was my dad), believed anybody who didn't follow the straight-and-narrow was a bad person, and dating was bad. Lost one of my best friends in school because she got a boyfriend, and my mom got in a falling-out with her parents. She was (and continues to be) absolutely controlling.
So there would be thing like this. Mom and dad would sit me down and give me "the talk" about sex. Mom would say NEVER until you're married, dad would agree. Then after, dad would take me aside and say to go ahead but be safe about it.
Same with drugs. Mom would say DRUGS R BAD. Dad would say nothing wrong with weed but stay away from meth, etc.
Made for an interesting upbringing. I found my dad's stash of weed, I kept that information secret in case he ever discovered one of my secrets. I never had to use it.
If my mom ever caught me smoking weed, she'd freak out and I don't know what she'd do. Probably chase me around with a knife (again) or throw all my tools in the garbage (again). If my dad caught me, he'd probably tell me to be careful of getting caught.

>>2344784
Wow, your mum sounds like a total bitch. She must've been super hot to land a guy like your dad.

>>2326133
I AM THAT FEEL.
mine isn't as bad as most of these but here goes:

>be 18
>go to a gloryhole to get my first blowjob
>I'm a fucking omega and so
>I asked the guy on the other side to go for coffee with me after this
>he was surprised, but he agreed
>long story short
>it was my dad, and I have never done anything sexual before that, or after that

>>At my current GF's house
>>Hanging out and watching a movie
>> Her mom comes home, "why aren't you fucking?"
>>I just laugh and awkwardly go back to the movie when my gf literally grabs my dick and pulls it out in front of her mom
>>Her mom laughs and says " I taught you right, now take him upstairs and show him what I taught you. And dont worry anon your only the second guy to ever have her, shes as tight as a fucking virgin"
>>mfw we go upstairs and have sex constantly for the next 2 hours
>>Till this day everytime I drive up the mom always leaves me a box of condoms, and the best part is she found a wrapper in the trash bin so she buys me my normal kind.
>>This bitch will be my mother inlaw one day

>come to /r9k/ for the first time in years
>this thread
My god what the actual fuck I mean come on man.

Still not the most fucked up thread I've seen.

That honour goes to the thread where this was posted:
>"I once saw my girlfriend and her priest fuck 8 dogs in a night, but in the context of this thread that's pretty small fry"

>>2345230
archive link??

This fucking thread.

Duncan, this fucking thread.

>>2345468
Who's Duncan?
mysteriousreferenceblox

>>2344270
Fuck you, those stories were fun as hell to read.

>be 15
>mom keeps asking me if I need birth control
>like beyond asking trying to convince me I need it
>telling me benefits other than not getting pregnant
>"mom I'm really unpopular, I'm not having sex any time soon"
>"oh honey that can change really fast"
>few weeks later
>I come home and there is a boy I didn't know on our couch.
>he gets up and nervously introduces himself to me
>mom comes in at this point and asks me to help her in the kitchen
>"he is from the mail room at work do you like him"
>"uh what is okaying on?"
>"you should have sex with him!"
>"no! what the fuck is wrong with you?!"
>"calm down honey just trying to help."
>I get mad and leave
>think now that my mom might have fucked him after i left

>>2345782
>think now that my mom might have fucked him after i left
>might have
lol nope

>>2344969
>>2344969
>>2344969
>>2344969
finally a story itt that gets my dick moving

a good change of pace from the dad-son fuckfests

>>2346024
>dad-son fuckfests don't make his dick move
POINT AT HIM. POINT AT AT HIM AND LAUGH!

definitely worse than most of the greentext here:
>be my 16th birthday
>I'm a complete aspie with no friends
>dad takes me to a prostitute
>he tells me that he fucks prostitutes all the time (he's still married to my mom), and that I'm old enough to know that the kind of woman you want to marry is the kind of woman who you'll end up cheating on
>"Why don't you just fuck mom?"
>no answer
>get a 9/10 prostitute who's just my type (asian)
>we get in the private room, she takes off her top and bra
>raging boner
>she touches me a little, but I was getting much too eager so I just wanted to start fucking
>we started fucking missionary
(1/?)

>>2346061
>not 3 minutes go by and I'm being hugged from behind
>I freak the fuck out
>realize it's my dad, my naked dad
>"WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK DAD???!"
>9/10cumbucket:"don't stop sweety, keep going, I love what ur doing" bla bla bla
>in the heat of the moment, I kept on going and told my dad to gtfo
>prostitute just hugged my head closer to her while I'm fucking her, her hands and legs behind my back, squeezing me close to her
>feel a dick penetrating my ass
>hear my dad grunting
>try to get up
>dad pushing me down with his hands and body
>prostitute holding me down with her hands and legs, whispering in my ear to keep going
>I came after a few minutes
>the both of them didn't let me go for over 40 minutes during which my dad was not bring gentle to say the least.
>after 40 minutes of me grunting, and saying I've had enough
>he started spanking my ass
>then he came inside
>could feel the cum flowing inside me
>cried a bit
(2/?)

>>2346066
>he said I can have her for another hour and left the room
> I fucked her again, this time I used up almost all my time with her
>we had a bite to eat and went back home

>know I'll never be able to have sex without paying for it
>be a NEET with no way to afford a prostitute

>once a week since my dad used to ask me if I want to go there again, I politely refuse, since I figured he'll want to be there again
>after about 2 months
>felt really eager to fuck again
>dad asks if I want to join
>I say yes, and try to explain I want to be alone with the prostitute
>he says he understands etc.
>that he's sorry he didn't gave me a heads up before what we did last time etc
>different prostitute, 9/10 as well, missionary position
>dad fucks me again, cums inside me again, I get teary eyed again.
>swore to myself I won't go there again with him

>been going to the same whore house with my dad every week since
>he fucked me every single time we went there
>that feel when the only way to get laid is to have your dad fuck you
>that feel when I can't keep a promise to myself
>that feel when after a few months it started feeling good
>that feel when now, 8 years late, whenever I fap the thought of my dad fucking me always crosses my mind.

(3/3)

>>2346071
>>2346066
>>2346061
I can't even tell you how bad I feel for you. I might actually vomit.

>>2346071
>gets laid on a weekly basis
GTFO, your life is great.

>>2346071
Good story, but doesn't build up tension as well as the boat one did. I score it 7.5/10

>>2346071
>>2346066
>>2346061

I'm an atheist but still iI pray that this story is fictionary

>>2325268

>You never got molested

ftfy

We should all write a song about how much we love 4chan and /r9k/.

>>2346284

In times of great sorrow and times of great joy
if forever alone femanon or wizarding boy
you can gather round quietly to listen and learn
of hostage rape family sea faring yarns
wincest son father molestation tales
and memories repressed to hide all that ails
mental illness abound, female hatred all round
we try to forget it but long for the sound
of 4 chan (4chan)
you haunt us in our dreams
4chan (4chan)
no one hears your screams!

due homework tommorow but this threads so amazing I procrastinate, masturbate, weep and cringe harder, try not think of father and wish I had friends or a dry spell that ends or a job or a car or a psyche that mends, a face without pimples, a girlfriend with dimples, a will that was stronger, a penis much longer with veins on that glow in the dark when I think of my sister and...

Never mind.

>>2346525
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0WHKo0G5bFU
Bear with me, I'm drunk and high.

My mother has always let me get away with pretty much everything. Easing up on groundings, buying me shit without my asking, after I moved out she started coming by to cook dinner sometimes. I guess she had another child before me, but he died when he was young. Hence babying me.

>>2346653
This post had better make it to the archives!!

My mom always let me do what I want because she feels guilty about not aborting me because I'm her brother too

Not a mom, and not a biological parent, but still a fucked up story:

>Friends with this party girl in high school
>Her step dad picks us up every time we get wasted, no matter the time of night, whether he has to go to work in few hours or not, he was always extremely nice about it, he seemed downright happy to do it.
>She got him to buy her drugs, and not just pot either, there were some heavy drugs involved too.
>He bought her pretty much everything, he blew obscene amount of money on cosmetics, clothes, phones and dumbass knick-knacks.
>She told him when she planed to bring boys home and for how long so that he'd take her mother out.
>Despite of all that, she was always being an incredible bitch to him. Often times making fun of him and calling him names in front of us.

To cut the long story short, my friend and her stepdad were actually fucking behind her mother's back and she had been actually blackmailing him for years. Or at least, that's what I heard.

>>2346735
>no son involved
>no rape involved
out with you, sir.

>>2346071
>that feel when the only way to get laid is to have your dad fuck you

AND THE FUCKED UP FEEL OF THE WEEK AWARD GOES TOOOOOOO

>>2325801
>he hugged me closer
>our dicks were pressed together
>he started jerking us off together
>"I love you, anon"
>"I love you too, dad

>Be 17
>Dating 25 year old
>Dad camping for the weekend, just me, mom and bf at home.
>"Hey Mom, Can we go up to Wisconson?"
>"Ok, have fun!"

Ugh. He made me suck his dick before he'd buy me food.

>underage
>dates someone 8 years her senior
>surprised by bf asking for sexual favors
No sympathy for you

>>2348851
1) I was extremely lonely and met this guy off the internet
and
2) He wasn't asking for favors - it was suck my dick and we can go get dinner (which consisted of McDonalds..)

Yes, I was a stupid kid and put myself in a dangerous, stupid situation, but the fact that my mom didn't raise an eyebrow at this entire "relationship" or say no to any of it kinda makes me resent her. I'm not looking for sympathy.

>>2348903
>I was extremely lonely and met this guy off the internet
mfw
>He wasn't asking for favors - it was suck my dick and we can go get dinner (which consisted of McDonalds..)
That's the definition of a sexual favor: you fuck me, I do something unspecified for you.
>the fact that my mom didn't raise an eyebrow at this entire "relationship" or say no to any of it kinda makes me resent her
To be sure, your mother was inept for not doing anything about it. But it just reads more like you're attempting to shift the bulk of the blame onto her for not stopping you from doing something stupid when you should bear the bulk for doing something stupid.

>>2346653
I kinda like it. A few times sounded cutty, but I'd pay for that song if it fixed up, it were the 70's and people still paid for stuff.

God. Why did this turn into incest story time.
Am I the ONLY normal one who's never had a parent jerk me off?
Weird fuckers.
Feelbadforyouman.psb

>>2349052
My parents never touched me. I love these stories though.

>be 4
>walk in on my dad ejaculating
>be curious, ask lots of question
>he said it's a grown up thing
>demanded an explanation about what he was doing, why, etc
>attempted to explain to me by comparing how the nice feeling you sometimes get when you pee, can be made more fun when you're an adult
>didn't understand why he was peeing in his room with his hand, didn't say it though
>insisted he'll explain to me how to make my pee like that
>he said only grown ups can
>I said I'm already 4!!! etc etc
>cried when he said I can't, saying not letting me try is not fair
>ended up letting me see him masturbate
>tried to imitate him
>didn't work (obviously)
>insist that I'm doing it wrong, and I need his hands to do it
>didn't even argue with me
>jokingly messed with my dick for a few seconds
>said nothing is coming out
>be really sad for like an entire hour about it
(1/2)

>>2349374
>would ask my dad to let me see him masturbate on a daily basis
>would sometimes try again
>approximately two years later
>"dad can I see change your pee?"
>he agrees
>didn't try to masturbate that day
>dad: "hey, you know what champ, maybe if you'll drink my grown up pee, you could pee it too"
>me:"but pee is yucky"
>dad:"oh well, I thought you wanted to change your pee like me, I guess I was wrong"
>me:I wanna change pee!, I'll bring a glass
>dad:no, you don't need a glass, just sit on the bed, and do as I say
>ok
>ok open wide
>he fapped with his tip on my tongue
>when he was about to come he'd let me suck on it like a lollipop
>felt proud of myself after swallowing
>still couldn't masturbated
>the next day asked him to change pee again
>this time he just got me to give him a blowjob
>swallowed, still couldn't masturbate
>within a week it turned into him facefucking me every day
>randomly stopped when we moved to a new place when I was 9
(2/2)

>>2349002
Thanks.
> that feel when you record a song for /r9k/
> that feel when only one reply

>>2349458

People didn't reply because it is shit

>>2349478
Yeh, Probably true.

I thought /r9k/ was suppose to be classy /b/?

>>2349378
>>2349374
10/10

pedroblocks

>>2346525
Not too bad, just get a better mic bro. Sound quality is like nails on the chalkboard

Gotta say all these parents are Fucking weird as fuck. I'm happy with my weird mum who is aware of my drug use and only seems to care when she finds out, my dad who I just sit on the sofa with and watch the rugby with sometimes and my dad's new wife who just does my washing and cooks my food. All these other parents sound fucking scary

>13
>be at best friends house for sleepover
>her dad brings his friend over to chill
>dad call us over to bathroom
>he has 4 lines of coke on the counter
>ask if we wanna have some
>me and my friend decline

He took her to get high for the first time when she was ten
I didn't realize that that friend was his dealer till later
Taking that incident out of the way he was a actually really responsible parent

>>2350185
That's pretty crazy. The only weird friends parent I know is My friends dad was pestering my friend (his daughter) for my number so that he could sell me viagra and weed and maybe LSD

>>2333005
>he was into magic
OH GOD, MY SIDES
</cc>

>>2333898
>a food
>sage@nodomain.com
Fuck you dumb faggot

>>2346653
brilliant, saved, statues commissioned
>mfw 4chan might be getting its mojo back

>thread starts out about parents that let their kids do carzy shit
>within a few posts turns into stories about anons being molested by their dads when they were kids

/r9k/, this is the single most fucked up thread derail I have EVER seen on 4chan. Just fucking wow.

Threads like this are why I'm here.

I knew you still had it, arcanine.

>now we wait another half a year.

>>2352353

I was looking forward to a great thread about cool moms letting kids do stupid shit, have sex, and do a lot of drugs.

Then I read about guys sucking off their dads at 13 years old.

>>2346653
A+ for you sir.

Also is this in a weird time signature or are you just severely drunk and high?

>be 3
>walk in on parents having key party with roughly 5-7 other couples
>toddle to bowl with keys in it undetected as adults mingle and kenny rodgers plays in background on huge oak turntable unit
>grab key from bowl bc toddlers grab shiny shit
>people see me with keys in my hand and look mortified
>their terror terrifies me
>some biker guy with cult leader like power over my parents at this time starts screaming
>I SAID U FUK WHOEVRs KeYs U PULL!
>mfw he's not kidding
>mfw he gets physically abusive with someone (not family, don't know this person who starts to quibble with him

1

>>2352563
It's in four brobot. He's got a nice syncopation going on. So I can see how it can confuse you It's pretty damn good I'd say.

>my uncle Carl reluctantly admits those are the keys to his dodge ram
>mfw im face down on a brown suede coach and my uncle sodomizes me
>mfw idiot Manson like biker leader says my uncle has to fuck me till he come
>mfw the people standing around actually applaud him when his hot cum shoots all over my back (to this day I want think they were applauding out of terror/gallows humor like when you laugh during a tense scene in a movie)
>parents sell house shortly thereafter and move witness protection style . . . six miles from Scottsdale to Mesa
>spend next two years in terror then somehow repress until age 19
>panic attacks force me to drop out of college
>flash to now that feel when posting on FORCH and morrisey tier asexual

2of2

>be 15, go on trip to Europe with parents
>Arrive in Amsterdam, see shit like Van Gogh museum and all that boring stuff
>make a joke along the lines of increasing my art knowledge, I should make a trip to the red light district to learn about human anatomy and reproduction, and horticulture
>"Haha sure anon, you can stay out as long as you like, just make sure you get back to the hotel before we have to leave tomorrow!"
>Wat
>End up going with the two 27 year old girls in the room next to us and smoked my first joint and spent all my money on weed and booze one of the girls bought me
>Come back to hotel room
>Mum and Dad laughing at how off my face I apparently was and joke about if I got 'lucky'
>both parents are completely and utterly against drugs and alcohol didn't even give a shit when I got shitfaced in a foreign countries seediest area

>>2352626

your parents let this happen? i dont believe it. im sorry i dont. i cant.

>>2352653
my parents actually thought this guy was the son of god :/
you have to remember this was 1984 and pcp was chic
i don't know if they were inside the house or by the pool when it happened but they had to hear that maniac screaming
im still deliberating if i should bring it up to them
right now my opinion of them could not be any lower

The first interesting thread on r9k in weeks. Been either gasping in horror or hysterically laughing his whole time.

God I love it.

>>2352676
how does a fully-grown man's erect penis fit inside a 3 year old's anus?

>>2352676
Have you ever wanted revenge on that son of a bitch? I'd help you.

>>2352563
It's now thirteen or so hours later. I don't dare listening to it.
I think it must have been the weed.

>be 16
>very close, best-friend like relationship with my dad mom not in the picture
>my only friend told me he thinks he's gay
>friend says he wants to suck me off
>didn't care for it, so I left
>told about this to my dad
>he says that with my social skills it's not like I'll be getting any in the near future, nothing gay about getting a blowjob etc.
>I say that's bs, and guy on guy is gay no matter how you look at it
>he insists I'll give it a shot with the friend, I say whatever
>a few days of not speaking to my friend later
>sudden burst of horniness
>call friend over with bj in mind
>he talks about how he's glad I called him bla bla bla
>closed the door, took my pants off
>he smiles and starts sucking me off
>dad comes in
>"yeah, I lied, it's gay"
>gets out
>sudden burst of shame
>tell friend to stop
>I sit on my bed
>friend uncomfortably sits next to me
(1/?)