You're a lonely virgin, aren't you?

tell me more about your learnings.

Or no....don't. Tell me a story about a giraffe in stead.

a girl has friendzoned me. I've quit talking to her. she doesn't get the message and still really wants to hang out with me. what the fuck, what do i do? I feel like a dick everytime I push ignore on my cell phone.

Hi, I'm a fat smelly deformed asspie with terrible skin. How do I seduce and deflower a million 12 year old girls?

I like your hair down, like that cow-lick thread last night, I think you should keep it like that.

but I digress, I have this friend that always cuts communications with me whenever we has problems with her ex, how can I get her to stop talking to him for good?

>I'm an expert on the subject because of my learnings!
They've been browsing /r9k/ since it's launch, so by now they've heard it all.

How do I get a girl to fuck me in the ass?

>>2270147
cloroform and getting to cris hansen first.

>>2270122
Nope! I've only had sex with one person, though. Haven't really given a shit enough to seek out anybody else.

>>2270128
Giraffes, like all things from Africa, have nothing to do with relationship advice.

>>2270135
If she doesn't get the hint, then be extremely direct with her. Pussyfooting around issues is what got you in the friendzone in the first place. GOOD JOB, however, trying to ignore her. That shows courage, and you should congratulate yourself for not allowing her to make you her little bitch.

Oh, hey, look, another idiot making another relationshit thread. So cool.

fuckin drawnigger, do you really think we need another relationship thread? i don't know what's worst, your advice or the faggots asking for it

>>2270147
You shouldn't be deflowering 12 year old girls in the first place, but >>2270158 has the right idea.

>>2270151
Your best bet there would be to convince your ex to never talk to *her*. Women are stupid creatures that always come back for more, no matter how bad you treat them, until they turn the age of 35-40 depending on the girl. Convince her ex, not her.

>>2270152
Craig's List Casual Encounters. Seriously. Lots of girls will do this for you if you know where to look. If you're asking about how to get a SPECIFIC girl to, that's trickier, and really, unless she's predisposed to, you're out of luck.

>>2270169
Aren't I awesome?

>>2270185
I think you're the worst, but don't worry about that. Being the worst on 4chan is like being the best anywhere else. I'm sure somebody thinks you're funny! Cheer up! Smile!

>>2270193

He secretly hates me .So talking to him about her is a no go

>>2270169
>>2270185
bitter bitches sure are bitter tonight.

This happend to me,

today at work a co-worker girl told me that she did not know why but she trusted me plenty, and that my face reflected that, this kinda surprised me cause it came outta nothing, dun know why she made that comment, i suspect that she is into me, or is it just me? that was kinda of ebarrasing cause there were plenty of co-workers right there, whut do you think??

>>2270201
Shin(alt+233), I support you, even though you remind me greatly of a yaoi fangirl who hated me back in HS.

This thread is now about religion.

Current topic: Mormonism.

Discuss.

>>2270214
evreyone hates you but shine faggot

Whats the best way to initiate anal with a girl?

>>2270229
Oh, hey now you listen to me bitch.

>>2270206
Hmm... That certainly makes things more difficult.

I would assume that that probably means that he's actively trying to get her to stop talking to you, hence the her cutting off contacts, right?

I think you might just be out of luck, on this matter. Whatever you do, don't confront her on this, no matter how much this seems like a good idea, it isn't.

>>2270210
Naw, she's probably just a naive little bitch, and meant nothing of it. You're in the friend zone, dude. Good luck with that.

>>2270229
Naw, he's pretty annoying. He posted like 50 threads today, right?

I knew a mormon in high school. Tall, redhead, dorky. He played the accordion. After graduation he went to Lithuania or something as a missionary.

>>2270201
who the fuck was asking for your advice?

seriously, attentionwhores like you are killing this board, get a fuckin life, the same goes for the ronery faggots asking for advice

Are you guys seriously doing this. Asking for relationship advice from Shine.

Have you no shame.

>>2270245
Yep. Just like the yaoi fangirl who hated me. She was a three hundred pound whale.

>>2270206
Desperate fag sure is desperate for asking for advice ON FUCKING 4CHAN.

raeg

>>2270248
Lithuania is like the idiot capital of the world, so I've seen.

>>2270267
OMG IM SO DESPERATE YOU SHOT ME RIGHT THROUGH THE HEART ANON, stfu and go to sleep bitch.

>>2270251
Ohhhh, I understand that you're afraid of being one kind of loser, so you're being a different kind of loser... You're not being positive, though. Just smile and let it be. You'll be happier that way.

No, but seriously, how do I initiate anal? Not even anal sex per se, just anal play even.

I cheated on this person I didn't think was my girlfriend because she was being fucking possessive, then I got together with the person I cheated on her with.

We're all chicks.

how do I go from being a friendless loser to having a good social circle?

My girlfriend cheated on me and now she's dating that fucking whore. How do I kill her without getting caught?

>>2270282
3/10

i'm telling you to GTFO, plain and simple, i don't care about your opinions

more giraffes plx.

>>2270299

pick up a hobby where you can interact with people. go out and find those people that are doing it. naturally you'll become friends with those people.

>>2270302
>>2270291

novella win.

>>2270280
Probably. Why don't you just go back to DA already or better yet, get banned?

You're a faggot if you do anything but sage this thread. OP sounds this weeaboo girl I know that thinks her advice is worth anything.

>>2270245
I never do, I just let her know if she ever needs anyone to talk to that I'm there for her.

How do I get my girlfriend to let me put a diaper on her?

>>2270313
Yeah. I did realise that i need some hobbies. I just don't know how to find one that I actually enjoy.

Its called a nigger!

>>2270320
Why the fuck would i go to DA i've only been like there like 5 times in my life. You make little sense, and wild assumptions. Please, go to sleep.

xD im on the friend zone, the fuck with it i just spoke with this girl on my breaks, lol i didnt pay much attention to her was more focused on ending my cigarette b4 my break ended, but yeah she prob its just a naive little bitch.

>>2270286
What has worked for quite a few male friends of mine, on this topic, is that when you're already sexually active with your female partner, you try to manipulate some sort of "free pass" out of her, by either winning some stupid bet, or some other unfair game of some sort. These are NOT HARD to make happen... Most girls are willing to experiment with such things anyway.

Also, you can try just goooing for it, while having sex. In the heat of passion, girls are incredibly open to anything... obviously.

>>2270299
Well, for one, stop posting. I don't mean all *together*, I mean stop posting things like what you just posted. The easiest way to GET confidence is to ACT like you HAVE it. Emulation becomes second nature, and second nature becomes first nature.

Your best bet, really, is to read too much Wikipedia. Start with some random ass topic you like, and then keep fucking reading.

Also, watch "The Daily Show" and "The Colbert Report".

Trust me, if you know a lot about a variety of random ass subjects, and you know a tiny bit about world events, you'll have NO trouble talking to people. ACT CONFIDENT and you'll BE CONFIDENT!

>>2270342
>Recommending reading wikipedia and becoming a neckbeard to help people make friends

LOL gg failposter. Your advice SUCKS and you're probably a friendless loser who has no business giving it whatsoever.

My boyfriend wants to stick a gerbil up my ass, but I had a horrific experience when I was a child. Likewise I enacted a rape fantasy, and I strapped him up against his will and raped him viciously, but coincidentally, after he was finished crying, he told me that as a child he was also raped. I kind of feel guilty, should I stick this gerbil up my ass so I can get me some sweet chocolate lovings, someday in the future, or should I let the matter ruin our relationship?

I am, *totally*, like, *Shine* right NOW!

*Yeah*, I *AM*, pretty AWEsome!

>>2270302
The hardest thing to obscure when commiting a murder is motive. Waaaait it out. Kill her when it seems like you have no motive, and they won't even investigate you.

>>2270313
This is good advice. Everybody listen to this man.

holy shit guise

girafferelevenceblock

so whut do you do for a living?
o.0

Yay feels like /r9k/

>>2270338
You should really talk to her instead of ignoring her. That way, you won't be put in the friendzone. Make sure you're persistent and talk to her every opportunity you get.

Oh, alright. This thread is now about Gordon the Pringles Giraffe.

>>2270384
Haha! I wonder if that's on every computer in 4chan nowadays.

Yes! I fucking love that fucking giraffe!

Since you won't stop...
draw me a picture. Please.

>>2270429
Here! I drew you a Giraffe!

Do you like it? His name is Gordon.

Gordon is making me lol, draw more please.

>>2270117
>>2270161
>>2270201
>>2270245
>>2270282
>>2270342
>>2270383
>>2270420

WTF IS THIS FAGGOTRY?
GET IT OFF THIS BOARD

>>2270398

i missed with the picture but i was thinking on the same lines

>>2270445
I kinda like it, but it wasn't exactly for me. :c

Draw me a Steak.

The thing is that im not intrested on that girl, its just that comment that she made, i dunno was kind of weird to say, i mean i dont even consider her as a friend, but dunno just wanted to know what were her intentions or what did she meant on that comment that she made, whenever i spoke to her was always like,

girl: bla bla bla my parents... bla bla bla dont know whut to do..

and i was all like:
well you know whut do you have to do if not think bout it, and continued smoking, pretty much that was my answer to w/e she said, anyway just felt kind of akward at that moment.

I certainly hope that nobody out there actually thought that I came up with Gordon...

I didn't.

>>2270466
what's the matter with the giraffes?

>>2270468
Here, I drew you a T-Bone steak.

>>2270475
yes, it was invented by a retarded child and everyone thought it was so LOLWTFBBQ OMGZ SOOO RANDOM XD SOCK IT TO ME! after it has been posted on the front page of ED.
grats.

this motherfucker is the new eevee

is that some motherfucking water stone

>>2270117
what is this faggotry.
i want an answer.

>>2270384

Good job, you will get this to 404.
By getting reported. B&!

theres no grass stone but whatever nigger

Post moar gordons! Here's a version without Shine hair.

>>2270504

lolfaggot you arent very good at this

>>2270484
Mh, delicious. Thanks. :]

i would rub his whammy bar this motherfucking giraffe is awesome

>>2270117
>>2270161
>>2270201
>>2270245
>>2270282
>>2270342
>>2270383
>>2270416
>>2270420
>>2270445
>>2270475
>>2270484
>>2270510

This is really too much.
I cast you down into the realm of /b/ where your massive faggotry shall await until the end of days kthxbai.

>>2270519
lol so random

>>2270518
at least trip when postin your crap

Is this thread getting hot, or is it just me?

this is the best fucking original pictyre ever

>>2270548
FUCK YEAR!

That is an AWESOME GIRAFFE!

holy shit thats a penis on agirafe

>>2270558
Don't tell me you're "FUCKING METAL!!" now.
Please.

>>2270569
>>2270548
>>2270529
>>2270518
>>2270510
>>2270500
>>2270493
>>2270475
>>2270466
>>2270445

Get that fail out of here.
Also, mods are slow getting the CPz.

japanese names are the worst.
i suppose it is to be expected from inferior people.

>>2270583
I am everything you don't want me to be, Tripfaggot.

Describe your most feared thing.

>>2270607
ah, i see.
you don't use tripcode when you give yourself a name, so you are less of a faggot and therefore one of the cool kids, amirite?
get fucked.

>>2270607
black people, no, black gay people

>>2270618
You're right. I'm sorry.

Happy now?

>>2270623
So... Is this better, then?

>>2270627
no, your name is to ethnic.

Be the raging god of vikings.

Ok.... how about this? Is this better?

>>2270607
i canna think of anything i fear more than you tittyfucking luigi

thread over. Goodnight. Won't be posting again.

>>2270658
Goodnight, I started falling asleep anyway.

>>2270658
Look what you faggots have done. You had a girl and you chased her out. why? Because you couldn't handle her!!!!

*hee hee* I can't do this with a straight face.

See you tomorrow shin(alt+233).

Back. Good morning.

Looks as though all the CP got deleted by the mods.

SO~! Back to giving advice. Any more questions?

My girlfriend's a depressed mess who I want to develop feelings for, but memories of my ex overshadow her. (We haven't been together for long, mind you.) Should I dump her, and if so, how do I do it without destroying her?

>>2273096
I love you Shine

Alright, sure. Fix me.
I am incredibly, incredibly when it comes to women. There is literally a checklist that they have to at least 75% fulfill for me to even consider being attached to them, and they more or less have to be someone I can show off like a new shirt or hat.
Also, I form almost no emotional attachments to them and view them as replaceable items not much different than a chair or table, and so when things get annoying or difficult and we split, I usually feel nothing other than amusement and pleasant sense of freedom. They are usually either devastated or infuriated that I dont care about the whole event.
I am told that this is sort of a bad way to be when it comes to this whole section of life, but then, Im just as happy on my own, so I dont really care either. But still, the few exes I talk to tell me Im a monster.
Advise me of Shine.

>>2273115
Honestly, your best bet is to passively make her realize what you just told me. If she's a strong woman (which she probably isn't) then she'll confront YOU on the matter and dump YOU. If she isn't, then come out and tell her, because at that point, there's no easy way to dump the girl without leaving her devastated.

The key to breakups is to leave the other person thinking like they broke up with you... Unless of course you care about your pride, in which case you're an asshole and really shouldn't be bothering yourself with *not* devastating her.

>>2273131
Ilu2anon

>>2273139
Bah, incredibly, incredibly picky when it comes to women, damn typo. I just accidentally a whole opening.

Okay, so I know this guy. He's stunning, charming and smart, and popular because of this. I have talked to him on a semi-regular basis, but the topics are usually stuff like our courses at uni, libraries, etc. Aside from during lectures, I don't see him around much.

How do I get to the point where I can ruthlessly fuck him over a desk?

hey shine do you look like your drawfagged character?

if so, i'm finding where you live and raping you.

but don't let that influence your answer! tell me honestly.

>>2273139
You are a monster. You're also happy. Fuck what they think.

>>2273149
It sounds to me like he isn't single. Systematically make him hate his soon-to-be-Ex, and then have the, "You know, you're a great guy, and I can't believe she'd give you up," talk.

>>2273154
Nope, I'm actually ugly. And 40. And a Guy. And Married. And do this to rebel against my wife. And middle eastern.

>>2273170

I'm coming to your house to verify.

please post your address and cell phone here, please and thank you.

>>2273170
Yeah, I get the monster thing a lot. Im going to actually ask for once, because I just spent a ridiculous amount of money on clothes and Im in a good mood, how am I a monster? How is this so terrible? Im not exactly twisting babies arms off or anything.

dearest shine' lets assume your a guy...

am i overdoing it? i mean "suck my dick" and stuff

I'm so tired of all these Shine threads, they are getting really old.

Okay okay shine here's my situation:

i'm 18 and somewhat attractive - i get looks from plenty of girls, and a few of my gay guy friends joke about my looks, my ass (et cetera) all the time. i make music to get by - i sell my demos and my EP for $5 and $8 each, respectively. I read a lot, and I honestly cannot imagine dating a girl that cannot appreciate a good book. I have an okay personality, but nothing too bold.

My question to you is this: where and how do i go about meeting women that would be both interesting to me and interested in me?

>>2273180
134 Western Barnsfield, Crete. Don't have a phone or cellphone. Good luck.

>>2273193
You treat women like they're things, and not people. While I don't think there's anything truly wrong with that, it should be obvious that the girls you interact with, do.

>>2273198
I.... really don't understand the question. Nice glasses.

>>2273148

You just accidentally a whole direct object! is this bad?