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  • Blotter updated: 11/04/08


  • SOON

    File :1227853889.jpg-(38 KB, 235x353, depression_teen.jpg)
    38 KB So Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)01:31:29 No.2269090  
    It's been established that we're all miserable, lonely, emotionally crippled, bawful losers with many psychological problems. Yes?

    But we can assume that we weren't this bad from the start? So in this thread, post the following:

    1) What caused this garbage heap that is your mind? If you're not sure then the most likely cause. How old were you? How long did it take? etc.

    2) What were you like before the corruption?
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)01:33:04 No.2269104
    My parents split. I'm sure I would at least have a less prominant dislike or distrust of all men in general. I'm unsure of what I was like; I was five years old at the time.
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)01:33:13 No.2269106
    I've always been socially awkward. It didn't weigh on me too heavily until I realized how weird I really was. Which was maybe a year ago. Which is, ironically, when I had a really active social life for the first time.
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)01:33:32 No.2269111
         File :1227854012.jpg-(32 KB, 472x316, IMG_1380.jpg)
    32 KB
    Probably started about the time that I fucked your mother
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)01:34:47 No.2269123
    >>2269111

    hey, this is a serious thread
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)01:36:16 No.2269140
    I've been abnormally shy ever since I was a child. I didn't make friends easily when I started school. I was easy to pick on, so people made fun of me a lot and made me cry all the time in grammar school. Middle school was filled with kids learning about sexuality and therefore using that as a way to make fun of someone. So I constantly got "you're gay you're gay you're gay" simply because it was the best insult middle-school bullies could come up with, despite the fact that I wasn't gay at all. Everyone's pretty much past bullying and that sort of thing in high school but I didn't properly know how to socialize then so, they were pretty lonely times.

    So it was just a natural progression. There was no before.
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)01:38:08 No.2269156
    I used to think that I was a social outcast and that I was different from everyone, and then I just realized that I was being an attention whore. So I manned up, got a haircut, faced life with a smile on my face and now it's pretty much smooth sailing.
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)01:40:12 No.2269170
         File :1227854412.jpg-(19 KB, 248x299, 070201_JoeBiden_vl_widec.jpg)
    19 KB
    >>2269123

    I'm sorry, what was that? I couldn't hear you over the sound of your mother's vagina. It's really squishy.
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)01:40:50 No.2269177
    I was just constantly bombarded by people falling in love (or claiming to fall in love) all around me, I've always been the spectator.

    So I decided not to care at all and accept that fact that I'm going to be "that guy" when I'm in my 40s. I made this choice at the age of 13.
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)01:45:43 No.2269222
    1) All through elementary school, my mind was being fucked up. I've never had many friends. The few friends I did have didn't really listen to me or even treat me like a real friend. We'd be having a conversation, and I'd say something, and no one would hear me, or something. In my whole life I've had one friend come over to my house. After all those years, I don't talk in public anymore unless I absolutely have to.

    2) It's hard to remember, but I think I was a normal kid. I was kind of out there, but people liked me overall. (People still agree that I am kind; it's just they see me as boring, strange, and unapproachable.)
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)01:50:38 No.2269274
    I tried to have sex with a girl when I was 5. I was reprimanded pretty hard by a half dozen people, including my parents, for being too sexual. I didn't get over it until 20 and basically was labeled a Christfag by everyone for it. I never kissed a girl until junior year in college.
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)01:52:02 No.2269280
    >>2269222
    lol, are you me?

    Maybe you just needed to speak louder.
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)01:56:53 No.2269313
         File :1227855413.png-(213 KB, 640x360, electronic pancake.png)
    213 KB
    >>2269280
    Lately I've been trying to become better at talking to people. You're probably right about speaking louder. That's a ripoff, though, because if I had had some friends, I wouldn't have nearly killed myself last year. ...Anyway, I'm on Thanksgiving vacation, and I don't want to be sad. Here's a crazy picture!
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)01:57:42 No.2269321
    My sister fell in love with one of my friends, he slept with her and rejected her later. Around the same time I broke up with my first and only girlfriend. It all went to shit from there - sister began taking out her frustrations on me, I began locking up my anger at her and became distant, all friends left me, then I finally let my anger out and threw the bitch out of the house.
    Been living alone for two years now.
    Funnily enough, sister turned lesbian and now lives in what she calls a coven - she's one of those wiccan women.
    >> Mr. Bubbles !!DLJ3bQ7yunJ 11/28/08(Fri)01:59:21 No.2269333
    I have always been this way. I have no idea what normal people act like or how they feel.
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)02:02:23 No.2269364
    >>2269333
    Same with me. It seems like most people in this thread have a similar problem. We should make some kind of lonely anons group. :D
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)02:03:10 No.2269366
    >>2269090

    1) Weed.

    2) Weird.
    >> Mr. Bubbles !!DLJ3bQ7yunJ 11/28/08(Fri)02:05:16 No.2269382
    >>2269364
    I wish there was some way for us all to meet up, but that would require me to leave my room.
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)02:06:23 No.2269391
    I was happy and popular up until 9th grade.

    Then for some reason I started feeling inferior to everyone. Irrationally.

    This wrecked my self confidence and I just started shutting myself away from the world.
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)02:07:30 No.2269406
    >>2269382
    Naw, man. I mean, we could make a website or something.
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)02:09:35 No.2269424
    >>2269382
    that's it; we're all going to Mr. Bubbles' house.

    btw, are you people BORN socially awkward or something? christ.
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)02:10:20 No.2269429
    My father died when I was 15. I became more reserved and cynical. I started smoking weed. I suddenly found myself with new friends, but I am not happy.
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)02:11:33 No.2269437
    >>2269424

    Can you read?

    Because the answer is obviously (mostly) yes.
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)02:12:30 No.2269446
    >>2269424
    I blame my parents. They got divorced basically right after they bought a house together. Retarded thing to do, but my mother is crazy, so I understand.
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)02:13:37 No.2269455
    1) I moved away after living in one place for 9 years. This was after 9th grade ended. I went into serious depression for the next several years. My social life ceased to exist. I've never had many friends since.

    2) I was in gymnastics for 4 years. I was fit and looked good. Also had a ton of friends and knew most of the people in my school.
    >> Mr. Bubbles !!DLJ3bQ7yunJ 11/28/08(Fri)02:13:46 No.2269459
    >>2269424
    I know I was. Hard to make friends when you cant read facial expressions or body language. I was constantly afraid of everyone because I thought every facial tic or hand movement meant hatred.
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)02:14:02 No.2269462
    BF Skinner

    /thread
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)02:16:10 No.2269475
    >>2269437
    you can't be born that way.

    can you?
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)02:16:28 No.2269476
    I was always socially awkward, but I was happy b/c I didn't know any better. My first girlfriend came and went, I realized what I was missing, and you know the rest.

    I will someday reclaim my former glory!
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)02:16:56 No.2269477
    I was always a shy person. Then one day in high school I dated this girl for a year. There was sex-a-plenty and I was a happy person. She broke it off in the worst way possible (cheating on me with her ex). I became a wreck for almost a year. A little over a year later I had my first encounter with a girl since the breakup but turns out she wasn't into anything long term and this was really hard on me again. I'll lay in my bed at night and have anxiety attacks until I fall asleep. Now I sit here all day, and drink myself to sleep at night, while going to school/work and being miserable all by myself.
    TL;DR I have fucking trust issues amongst other things.
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)02:17:56 No.2269488
    Moving from one place to another, and pretty much losing friends with whom I've been for a while.
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)02:18:17 No.2269491
    >>2269459
    Well, sweetie, you're autistic and all. I'm talking about the potentially-normals around here.
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)02:20:10 No.2269508
    >>2269491
    Don't make fun of Mr. Bubbles! Mr. Bubbles is cool~
    >> Mr. Bubbles !!DLJ3bQ7yunJ 11/28/08(Fri)02:21:31 No.2269519
    >>2269508
    >>2269491
    This sort of thing is why I am a tripfag. Now I have to go sleep.
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)02:22:07 No.2269522
    >>2269508
    But I loooove Mr. Bubbles ;_;
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)02:22:46 No.2269528
    >>2269519
    Aw, goodnight Mr. Bubbles~!
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)02:23:05 No.2269531
    My dad beat the fuck out of me when I was a kid. I don't mean just belts or spankings. He was an army guy, and when we were bad, I had my pressure points gripped till the whole side of my body was in pain. He'd starve me, kick me, strangle me to the point of blacking out, but the worst was the psychological stuff. I know some people don't believe in emotional abuse, but he used to force me to repeat over and over that I was a stupid bitch unworthy of being loved and I'd die alone. That's a lot for a ten year old girl to take, you know?

    I'm not miserable or lonely, but I guess that's from a lot of therapy and hard work.
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)02:25:35 No.2269552
    >>2269531
    I feel bad for you. If we ever get that support group going, you can join for sure!
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)02:26:42 No.2269564
    1) Like many others, I've always been fairly "shy". The catalyst for most of my problems would probably stem from my middle school years. I was the school retard, clown, and freak all in one. For those years I had no real friends in school (~3 outside depending on time). There are so many memories I have of rejection, hatred, rudeness, and anger that I could easily fill pages upon pages of stories.

    2) I believe I was always "corrupted" to being somewhat lonely. I've been extremely shy my whole life (a class clown before and during middle school-- all class clowns are extremely shy on the inside).

    Those were bad questions though.
    >> Mr. Bubbles !!DLJ3bQ7yunJ 11/28/08(Fri)02:27:52 No.2269571
    >>2269528
    >>2269522
    Wait, are you people girls? Because I am picturing you as such.
    >> allein machen sie dich ein 11/28/08(Fri)02:29:27 No.2269585
    I have a theory: Nobody is really happy. Everyone realises existance is painful at around 15 years.

    We used to think adults had everything in the world in order and that there was no uncertainty. If we did what they told us we would be alright because they knew these things by privlege of being adults.

    Then we found out that the grown-ups in reality know very little and have no consensus between themselves and no master plan for our society. They are as uncertain as children except they have nobody to reassure them that everything is under control. We are all corruptable humans who have no idea why we are here.

    The world is chaos and nobody knows what the fuck is going on, why we are here, or what makes us happy. There are no answers anywhere.

    Everybody realises all this at one point and this is the basis of what makes people suddenly become unhappy in around their teens. We lose our childish innocence.

    People do whatever they can to dispell the rotten feelings that arise from this realisation. They do drugs, find a partner, play wow, surround themselves with friends, join a subculture, start a family, become a lawyer, watch movies, etc.

    Now excuse me while I light my spliff.

    Or mabye other
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)02:29:44 No.2269588
    1) constant rejection
    2) pretty normal.
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)02:31:24 No.2269599
    >>2269571
    Well, the first one was me, and I'm a girl. I don't know about the second one.
    >> Mr. Bubbles !!DLJ3bQ7yunJ 11/28/08(Fri)02:32:32 No.2269607
    >>2269599
    Do you live anywhere near Pennsylvania?
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)02:33:19 No.2269614
    >>2269607
    Uh...Michigan
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)02:33:28 No.2269620
    I think my main issues are identity-related.
    I am similar to those who flock to the internet in that I am shy, introverted, intelligent, &c. I think I was just born that way.
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)02:33:33 No.2269623
    >>2269531

    Nah, I'm fine. I actually volunteer with suicide hotlines and mental health services these days (along with having a social life, going to school, and having a job). I figure if what I went through can help one other person somehow then it wasn't a waste.

    Besides, it gives interesting stories to tell if nothing else. "Yeah, one time my dad rubbed my face in broken glass..."
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)02:34:50 No.2269630
    >>2269552

    D'oh! I meant to say that to you. I am >>2269531
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)02:34:53 No.2269632
    >>2269571
    Is it so obvious?

    Have a good night, Bubbles.
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)02:35:30 No.2269639
    >>2269623
    Oh...well, it's real good that you fixed your life and all that. You're probably more successful than most of the rest of us on the internet are.
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)02:37:10 No.2269652
    I was homeschooled and raised a super christian. My mom was manic depressive and bi-polar.

    I'm only attracted to messed up girls I think I can save who are very forward and doting and I find the idea of mother son incest incredibly attractive.

    Awesome.
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)02:38:30 No.2269658
    I think that the internet serves as a brief shelter for people like us, and when we overcome our issues we no longer use it. Some people stay for a long time.
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)02:39:51 No.2269666
    >>2269658
    Well, if I ever overcome my issues, I'll miss you guys! (especially Mr. Bubbles)
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)02:41:32 No.2269681
    >>2269666
    I don't know about you, but I don't think I will. The anonymity helps with that.
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)02:46:59 No.2269730
    >>2269681
    Yeah.

    Well, I'm going to bed, you guys. Good night, everyone! :D I hope this thread is still going in the morning.
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)02:57:06 No.2269820
    I understood that life has no purpose. We may create meaning for ourselves but there is no inherent value to our existence. We are born for reasons unknown and we die without understanding anything. We live not because we choose to, but because we are forced to.

    Thusly, I will take my life with my own hands because it is the only thing i can do to defy fate. The conditions that came together to create my existence can't coerce me to accept life for what it is: an endless and meaningless cycle of reproduction.
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)02:58:03 No.2269826
    >>2269462
    balls on your chin /unthread
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)02:59:38 No.2269838
    >>2269820
    Then take your drill and PIERCE THE HEAVENS WITH YOUR OWN POINTLESS LIFE. DO NOT BELIEVE IN YOURSELF, BELIEVE IN THE RIDICULOUSNESS OF ACTIONS AND PLAY THE PART OF THE WISE CLOWN
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)03:02:11 No.2269855
    1) exstrophy-epispadias complex (i know a dozen or so r9krs are familiar with me by now, thank god for anonymity)

    my dick is short (<4") and they had to graft skin onto the top of it like a burn victim almost, so its hideous.

    also I'm a closet gay. You stay in the closet and you live life repressed, you come out and you life it oppressed. It's lose-lose; some people can handle it (coming out and taking the flak from family&friends), some can't. I don't think it's worth alienating much of my extended family, who have made it clear that they're actively opposed to it.

    The torments are unbelievable. I live in my room/house as though in prison, with complete fear of being seen or having to interact with others.

    2) I was a depressive ("gloomy" according to my mom) kid. I've always been prone to depression, it's a part of my mental character, probably inherited. There was no "before"; I was fucked from the start.
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)03:08:58 No.2269907
    1. I still don't know for sure. Recently I've come to the conclusion that it was horrible parenting, my mother never really cared about me and ignored me (my father died when I was 7). Although I was pretty fucked up before he died, too. In fact I think I was even more fucked up back then than I am now. Its just that I'm in a rut that I can't get out of after 20 years of insanity. Right now its just pure depression and apathy.

    2. I don't know if there was a "before". Well, I guess I can say that my life truly went to the shitter in my early teens, when I started failing at everything at life. So before then, I was just a brilliantly smart kid with no friends, antisocial, a crybaby and basically emotionally unstable. Yeah, that is my "pre-fuckup" state of being. At least I was doing great in school.

    I'd rather be a huge emotional wreck and yet successful at school/career, than useless and apathetic like now, now that I fully understand the magnitude of how hilariously awful my life has been up to now
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)03:12:55 No.2269947
    >>2269855
    Hey, dick-graft guy! I want pictures.
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)03:13:35 No.2269954
    Moved across the country right after elementary school, so went into junior high with absolutely no friends. Shy and scared, hard time adjusting. Worst of the worst, my mom has Multiple Sclerosis. I've more or less been watching her slowly die for the past ten years. Resulted in me being pretty cynical and reserved and generally bitter at the world.
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)03:19:39 No.2269987
    >>2269947
    i've thought about it.

    my original idea was to take a photo of the smallness (It looks totally normal from the bottom side, except for its shortness) with a timestamp and the text "You ever see those pictures of dudes with tiny dicks and wonder what life is like for them? Now's your chance to ask."

    but it's just degrading and pathetic, and I don't much have the effort to take the pics... and I live in an almost fugue-state of self-unawareness, to acknowledge myself in any serious way (looking in a mirror, getting dressed, having a photo taken) is profoundly traumatic and depressing
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)03:20:03 No.2269992
    Well, let's see. I got put into a gifted program where I clashed with one of the kids all the time, but for the most part I enjoyed it. Being ostracized by people for being a morbid freak when I was younger (I built a cemetery in my dining room once) didn't really help.

    I didn't really care about anyone until a guy I knew since I was a little kid died by suicide in my school. In some sick sense it made me a better person--I'm much more aware of other people's actions now than I was before he did it, but the guilt that I feel from not helping him (I last talked to him 2 years before he did it) eats away at me from time to time.

    At this point I just spend most of my time thinking about how much better off people would be if we were all innately in tune with one another's thoughts and feelings, and I'd like to make that possible. However, it feels like a much larger task than I could ever handle. Oh well.
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)03:21:56 No.2270001
    I grew up around a lot of very smart people.
    I came to understand how fucking terrible the entire world is at a very early age.
    Nothing mattered to me as a child. I knew it was all bullshit. I never did my school work, I was always in trouble but I never cared. I don't care about being poor. I live in my computer now. The only thing that I've found that truly matters is the evolution of the computer. I genuinely believe that true AI is the next step of human evolution and I want to do everything I can to help get us there.

    If I ever wasn't fucked up, I didn't know about it.
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)03:22:16 No.2270002
    >>2269992
    An addendum: Dealing with an old friend's suicide is extremely fucking difficult.
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)03:25:05 No.2270016
    >>2270001
    ...You sound exactly like me.

    How much reading have you done on AI?
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)03:26:15 No.2270023
    Established by who, you arrogant cockwrencher?

    I am not miserable, in fact I'm so high on neurontin that I'm pleased off my tits. My emotions are sound, faggot. and I'm a successful professional with no psychological problems aside from the excessive rage people like you provoke me to. Now suck my dick.
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)03:27:39 No.2270035
    >>2270001

    Stop escaping reality and face your problems head on, making up lame-ass excuses like these don't work in the real world. Search for a purpose in life or create your own before it's too late and you become another pathetic piece of shit like 99% of the rest of the human race.
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)03:28:45 No.2270042
    >>2270001
    typical pseudointellectual fag who no one likes because they're annoying and grandiose..
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)03:31:01 No.2270064
    >>2270042

    >pseudointellectual
    >annoying and grandiose

    pretentious, are we?

    hey, look how smart i am on 4chan!
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)03:32:15 No.2270072
    >>2270016
    A fair amount, I read about the approaches everyone is taking, and I see everyone is taking the right steps to provide the systems necessary for things like real 'memory' and brain-like processing, but I still just can't fathom how to truly make it happen. I'm not smart enough.
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)03:34:16 No.2270084
    >>2269177
    You're wrong. Your fear of failure and rejection have led you to fail and be rejected. Sucks to be retarded, poor you. In fact, woe is you.
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)03:36:34 No.2270105
    ITT writers without readers (and 2 or 3 losers reading)
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)03:36:47 No.2270106
    1) I have Pure O OCD. Look that shit up.
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)03:39:18 No.2270126
    Born with Aspergers.

    Fuck
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)03:41:15 No.2270145
    >>2270072
    Oh my. You don't know anything at all, do you?

    Nevermind then. :/
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)04:02:25 No.2270301
    1) Predominantly bullying I suppose. Sure, you can say, "you got bullied? big fucking deal", but it can do terrible things to a kid. I don't remember the bullying, just the insomnia, the nightmares, the headaches and the warts. was at it's worst from about 10 to 12 when kids of all ages and even authority figures would rip on me for being ginger, I fantasised alot about what it would be like to kill one of them.

    Also, I didn't realise until later how awkward most of my family was and the negative inpact it had had on me, I was for the most part quite popular but strange in my sense of humour and with eccentric interests. I literally couldn't show affection to girls because I'd never seen it from my own parents and because I hated them because I hated myself from the bullying, they represented everything I wasn't worthy of having. So, like any good melodramatic character, I turned inward and gradually lost a lot of friends, becoming quieter and more prone to aggressive verbal outbursts.

    I ended up getting treated in a phychiatric hospital for depression about two years back and it helped a shit ton. Now everytime I start thinking I begin to hate myself or everyone that mocks me, if I start to think I'm never going to find a girl that'll love me (or fuck, even like me) I take my thoughts elsewhere.

    2) Before I was an outgoing kid, something of a raconteur who loved nothing more than addressing crowds of people. I'd tell jokes and make people laugh and that would make me feel great. And now, I think I'm getting a little of that back, a peice at a time.
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)04:08:19 No.2270351
    1) Social Anxiety Disorder. 16. About 4 years.
    2) No
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)04:11:11 No.2270369
    Probably being religious and then stopping. Generally being brought up that way and getting a different viewpoint can mess you up. I probably did some of it to myself too.
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)04:14:08 No.2270396
    Sexual repression. Shit is SO NOT cash.
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)04:14:45 No.2270403
    >>2270145
    Oh, I suppose not.
    I hope all that you've read somehow enriches your life, because having the same knowledge as other people working on something really makes you a part of it, and now you're important.
    It takes all approaches. Just look at the guy that invented solid rocket fuel.
    I do what I can by supporting free software projects. I don't expect myself to be more than a drop in the pond, but as long as there's a few hundred million other people with the same goal, it'll get there.
    And you're not 'just like me' because I'm not a pretentious prick.
    8/10 (-2 for attacking my obvious intellectual insecurity)
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)04:14:51 No.2270404
    A girl. As cliche as that sounds, it's true. Well, maybe it was two girls. Anyway, when I was in middle school at age 12 I had a crush on a girl almost at the get go. I'd never really had a crush before that, just a general attraction to girls. As I saw her from day to day I could see how popular she was, but not in the sense msot people think. She was just so charismatic, had a lot of friends, and was particularly smart. Not to mention gorgeous. I could go on about her red hair, but not now.
    At that point I realized that I wasn't nearly confident enough to approach her, not to mention unattractive to her. I let myself think for a year, until eighth grade. In my homeroom class I met a girl and we talked a bit. She told me I'd look good with long hair so I took it to heart. Eventually I started hanging out with her and her friends, practically abandoning my previous friends. I still kept my eye on my crush, waiting for a good chance to talk, though I knew I didn't need a chance; I was too nervous. She even talked to me once, pretty inocently too. I froze up.
    Before the school year ended I found out that she and her family were moving. I don't know where, but it was far enough away that I'd never see her again. Next year at my first year of high school my new friends disbanded while my old ones stuck together. I was alone.
    I tried to pull myself out of my rut, but I just didn't care about anything. I failed out of most all my classes that weren't electives. It wasn't until my junior year that I discovered a philosophy that helped me gain confidence: existentialism, in the form of Camus and The Stranger and The Myth of Sisyphus.
    >> The Guru !!GUJgcWVW8Zk 11/28/08(Fri)04:16:02 No.2270412
    1. Parents split at age 6 so I grew up w/ no mom also feelings of negelect and abandonment from my dad growing up. Also me treating my ex like shit for many months and doing nothing but boning for like a year and her letting me get away with it. She's boned 1 guy and my friend claims to have boned her but he's full of shit most of the time.

    2. Shy virgin afraid to talk to girls. stayed indoors most weekend or going to the arcade.

    im back to the later half of part 2 now, but i also drink now too.
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)04:19:44 No.2270443
    >>2270404
    a stalkerfag is born, not made. It's a personality trait I'm afraid.

    sucks2b a creep
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)04:23:49 No.2270472
    1) This is pretty simple. My mom is a stereotypical "Jewish mother" and is evil. She destroyed my self-esteem and my sisters' with regular insults, and bankrupted my father, and finally prevented him from seeing us four years. I learned to interact socially in a bizarre environment where the longer I stayed in the conversation the more likely I was to be called a weakling, a loser, an idiot, a coward, a fatty, or an infant by my mother, and then I'd have my most recent mistakes broadcasted to the rest of the people in the room.

    2) I was a quiet, busy, inquisitive kid. I don't recall much, my life's was pretty shitty starting from age 6, when my parents divorced. I'm in the process of peeling away the years of abuse. I don't get pushed around anymore, and instead of bitching about my problems I smoke pot and drink until blackout like a real man.
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)04:33:31 No.2270540
    >>2270443
    I didn't really stalk her. I knew almost nothing about her, just random things I saw from time to time in the halls. We had one class together too the whole time and I never knew her schedule beyond that. As shallow as it sounds, I admired her mostly for her looks. I was young though. And I feel kinda stupid for being so depressed afterward and abandoning my friends, but I've made friends with them again.
    >> ♥Alice!downtherabbithole 11/28/08(Fri)04:41:19 No.2270577
    >>2269531
    Is it bad to wish to be in your shoes, but to be much, much more fucked in the head? I just feel like I need a real reason to be such a shitty person, but I don't have one.
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)04:48:15 No.2270621
    I'd probably ramble on if I went into detail, so I'm keeping it short.

    Lots of shit happened during my childhood, slowly turned from your average happy and energetic child to an unhappy, lazy bastard who hates people. Dropped out at 15, have just been doing shit on the computer and playing video games since. Starting to go outside less and less, I think it's about 4 months now.
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)08:36:23 No.2271618
    >>2270472
    Serves you right, you trusted a jew.
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)08:45:43 No.2271658
    1) My paretns split up in a messy divorce when I was 10, which was right around the time I started at a new school in a new area. I think this had a big effect on me as it stunted my social growth most of all, and made my shyness even worse than ever. I found it ridiculously hard ot amke friends, and when I did they would constantly make fun of me and treat me like an outsider or something just to use for their amusement. My confidence was drained and so I just let it happen without challenge. This is when I started to go into myself, become very quiet, and keep everything bottled up instead of telling people about it, something I still have problems with today and has caused me the loss of at least 1 job and creates problems in relationships.

    2) From what I remember and am told by family I was a fairly active and outgoing kid. I was still quite shy, but I would get over things quickly and wouldn't hesitate to put myself out there and try things. I had a lot of friends.

    I just realised how very emo this all sounds, but it's the first time I've ever expressed it outside of my own mind so deal with it nerd.
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)08:51:30 No.2271688
    Disney movies gave me unrealistic expectations about love.

    Also I was a terrible nerd with an ingrown personality for basically my entire teenage life.
    >> Cancer that is killing /g/ !zkraGArAss 11/28/08(Fri)08:56:32 No.2271706
    I've been shy my whole life. I really had no idea how to overcome it and there was no role model in my life capable of making me do it. The problem was I was too scared to talk to others. I was too scared of what people already thought of me, pants-pissed scared of what they'd think of what I did next. So I did nothing, I never got over it, I never stopped caring what people thought of me. I changed my image, I was laughed at. I tried to submit something, I was ridiculed. People already thought I was a loser, no one seemed to care how much they threatened me. So I got mad. I got mad at myself and I got mad at everyone else. I continued to be the shy bastard all the way into high school, except I ignored everyone. I was full of agnst and hatred, and more than slightly depressed all of the time. So now not only did I not give a flying fuck what people thought of me, I did not care at all about them. I became bitter, closed-off, and then I discovered 4chan.

    4chan will do the same thing to any person, you are initially revolted, but after time as you get into it you realize the energy you see in these posts, not just in /b/, is inside you too. You can feel a connection here. It's comforting to know all of you people reading this have united through similar reasons. Today, I've mellowed out a bit. 4chan has helped my sense of humor and I made a few friends because of it (they turned out to be /b/tards, who can be all kinds of people but still be retarded when they talk about the internet, but at least I can use it as a reason to be friends with them.) I'm still bitter, though. I laugh at evil shit and even worse, I enjoy it.
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)09:41:35 No.2271887
    I had an overprotective mother, who put me in a bind; I rebelled enough to displease her and ruin my prospects for the future, but not enough to run off, say "I'm going to be my own man" and work my way up from the bottom. So I became a kind of coddled loser, without a girlfriend or a job, and spent a large part of my life that way before I finally reformed. On the plus side, though, I've seen that the good life, as glimpsed through the successes of my friends, isn't really all that exciting; yes, it's good, but the suckiness of life, in the end, overcomes everything. Also, by doing my worst, I saw that the worst of the worst wasn't as bad as people's fears make it out to be, and that you can live a reasonably nice life as a screw-up.
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)09:47:18 No.2271905
    When I found out that 99% of young women are immature, shallow, inconsiderate creatures, and that I want to marry a housewife.

    I was happy before.
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)09:52:02 No.2271916
    >>2271706
    If I were gay I would hit on you sir.
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)09:52:43 No.2271919
    >>2269477

    i'm 23 and have been alone the entire time

    yeah it sucks and yeah i have insomnia and anxiety but it's not related to being alone or bad past examples (if you opt-out you don't get happy memories but you also don't get traumatized)


    i know it would suck, I can imagine it happening to me, but why do you let it run your fucking life?


    sounds really really weak, in a pathetic/stupid way
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)09:57:14 No.2271942
    I've always been socially awkward and afraid of things. I cried a lot during my first week in school. No one was mean to me or anything like that, but I was just so afraid. I couldn't stop crying.

    I feel the same way now, at 23. I'm so scared.
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)10:00:06 No.2271952
    >>2271706

    When I hear stories like yours I never feel sympathy or sad for you. The root of your ostracization is that you tried too hard, and whenever you did try you obviously looked like a try-hard and a loser.

    Me, I never tried. I didn't sign up for athletics, didn't take extracurriculars, didn't sign up for AP (but I took a few honors classes and got C+/Bs which was an embarrassment), I didn't even go to my senior yearbook photoshoot. Nor did I get a senior yearbook, nor did I walk the plank in the graduation ceremony (it was mailed to me).

    Really, it was extremely easy to get through high school. I was just another one of the nameless, faceless masses there to put in his 4 years, like a prison sentence.

    I had some really good friends (shy untrusting people only make few and close friends) but didn't get to see them most of the time, so I spent lunchtime in the library or with a group of other losers. I never got shit from anyone, ever, in high school.

    It's really not that fucking hard to drift past unnoticed. If you try and fail that means you're just a loser, or if you don't try and people still hate you then you must be ugly and smelly and ridiculous looking, and thus deserve it anyway.
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)10:00:56 No.2271955
    1) First memory I have is of my father molesting me. I was an extremley shy child. Molestation continued till I was about 12. By that time I had already become socially inept, I had too much trouble making friends, I couldn't make eye contact with a female. I then started to tell myself that I didn't care about other people, but I was just lieing to myself and at 19 I have only just figured out how much time I have wasted. And I don't know how to start my life.

    2) Innocent.
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)10:05:13 No.2271970
    >>2269585

    religion used to answer those questions

    it only takes a small crack for the truth to start coming through, and if you walk up to it and look into it, no matter how successful or driven or together your shit is, you see it's all a sham and everyone is in it for themselves and civility is really fear of reprisal and kindness never exists without a selfish motive

    and all that matters is youth, beauty, status, and money, and those are the only things that matter
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)10:08:09 No.2271980
    My lack of trust is caused by my brother's abusive tendencies, both physical but mostly verbal. If anyone show any of kindness when I first meet them, it makes me distrustful of them at first. This doesn't work in my favour as, in my most people, people are generally kind.

    My emotional issues are caused by my first relationship. Long story short, I open up to someone, fuck them, have to break up due to crazy stepdad, emotionally I'm crushed. The whole story made me more of an emotional introvert to the point where I can't talk to anyone about my feelings in person. I don't even say "I love you" to my parents.

    The brother thing has been going on my whole life, until very recently. Apparently as a child I didn't talk, was made fun of for that reason, people thought I was retarded (even some teachers) even though it had nothing to do with my intelligence (I had a lot ear problems and, I'm sure, stress at home had to do with it). My parents had to fight to keep me in the normal stream at school. I was always an introvert but I could talk of my issues more openly and express love to my own parents. However something in my mind is now saying "love = pain."
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)10:14:45 No.2272004
    I use to cry a lot when I was about nine, and my mother yelled at me a lot because of it. One day my mother got really furious that she snapped and shook me while yelling until I stopped. Now my eyes water now and again but I don't actually cry or feel sorry for other people though I pretend to.
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)10:20:27 No.2272020
    I just never developed my social skills. I had maybe a handful of friends in primary school and never all at the same time, and I was only friends with them because we played together.. we didn't really talk, or we would talk only about pokemon.
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)10:26:05 No.2272040
    I remember something about having it all(brains and physically, then i remember lots of doom and gloom shit happend, then i remember drinking every day and druggin and now i did that for so long my memory is slowly failing.
    Cant deal with the problems ? Erase memory and have fun while doing it !
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)10:43:39 No.2272104
    My dad was always busy with work and my mom always wanted to hang out with friends instead of taking care of me. They sent me to live with my grandparents until I started first grade in a tough private school. Because they're asian, I wasn't fluent in English until around 2nd grade. Then, my 3rd grade teacher thought I was retarded because I never talked, so she sent me to see a psychiatrist, was forced to take an IQ test, and scored ~130.

    I never had any friends until I got into 5th grade.
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)10:48:36 No.2272132
    Oh god damnit this trollin is just to easy, fuck you r9k.
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)10:51:45 No.2272154
    Back in gr 8 (5 years ago), after my parents bought a house in the suburbs, and had no choice but to wake up at 5am to commute to Toronto with them every day since they disliked the thought of me staying home alone even if there was a school 2 blocks away. The new sleep schedule fucked up my attitude, and attending my new school made it hard to make friends. Before my new school I was always spontaneous and pretty much knew and got along with everyone in my grade & below; at the new I got shunned, picked on, and once beat up when ever I tried being friendly/opened up. Fucking worst school experience ever.

    High school was different luckily though I still had to deal with bros always trying to +1 their ego. I was forever turned into a shy and distrusting faggot until senior year.
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)11:05:47 No.2272201
    >>2271955
    are you hot because i picture you as hottt~

    fuck this tupid internet
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)11:07:35 No.2272212
    I started to try and answer these questions but it just left me feeling more lonely, pathetic and depressed. I think that's my problem I cant really face up to myself and am stuck in some nihilistic depression.

    I think though it might stem from my dad leaving home moving away and never really connecting with me whenever i got to visit. That i think left me needy and constantly seeking affirmation for everything I do.

    im not sure if i ever really felt otherwise
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)11:12:21 No.2272234
    >>2270001
    I think we have teh same problem but instead of them being smart theyre all dumbfucks. I'm usually the creative on in the family and i read most of the time. when i encounter something i cant comprehend I'd ask my parents but their usual answer would be "ah because blah blah blah bullshit or something off topic"
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)11:24:25 No.2272287
    >>2269992
    do it, man
    you could become a scientist
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)11:32:13 No.2272334
    Probably the main reason for my fucked up life is my brain chemistry. I create very little serotonin, so I've always had depression, OCD, and trichotillomania, even from early childhood. I started taking heavy doses of anti-depressants in 3rd grade. Of course, it didn't help to have verbally and emotionally abusive parents who constantly reminded me how much I wasn't the child that they wanted, and repeatedly pointed out all my shortcomings.

    I've also been diagnosed with mild Asperger's, making it difficult for me to relate to others. I'm not a shy person - on the contrary, I've always been very outgoing, but that social connection that seems so natural to everyone else never seemed to click with me.

    Of course, I was young and naive, and didn't notice much wrong if I was off my meds. Everything started going to shit in 6th grade, when I found that my "best friend" had actually been using me for the past two years just to try to become popular. I also learned that my other "friends" were actually her friends, and just pretended to like me.

    She had convinced me to cut off most of my other friends from from before, so I had no one to fall back on. On top of it all, I had just been put on a new type of anti-depressant, which was not working out for me.

    I spiraled into myself and into my depression - going so far as to cutting myself in the middle of class, and a suicide attempt while alone in my room.

    Things picked up in jr. high, fortunately, and I had a close group of friends all throughout high school, and have a great social life now, but I still struggle with some of the same issues as before. All and all, though, life is looking well.
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)11:42:33 No.2272393
    I had a bully in grade school. He got my then-best-friend to push me up against a brick wall and rub my hands against them until I bled. It sounds like a stupid thing to do, and it was, since it was kindergarten / 1st grade. That's where my trust issues first started.

    Middle of 2nd grade we moved, and my dad left my mom, but lied to me about what was happening, so I still trusted him for a while until I actually realized what happened.

    New school, I was doing fine, had friends and shit. Met these 2 kids and we became, literally, the best friends fucking EVER. They both moved, but one of them was a total fucking douchebag to me after a while and basically made me lose faith in having real close friends.

    Right before high school I had to get some surgery on my dick, and after that, I lost pretty much all my motivation for being social. If I hung out with the popular kids, which I could have, I'd inadvertently get some pussy, but I was waaaaay too embarrassed of my dick.

    I forgot how to be normal after a combination of a lot of that kind of shit.
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)11:50:06 No.2272422
    This thread is making me depressed as heIl...
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)11:54:12 No.2272448
    >>2272020
    that's exactly like me
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)11:57:30 No.2272469
    My mother had postnatal depression big time- ie she was pscychotic for a while. My father was a depressed/angry man who I never trusted.
    I was sexually abused for a year or so when I was 3 years old. My mother semi recovered but could never handle reality (she often hid when visitors came). She was also bulimic and always (lirerally) ill with something. Any demands from me resulted in terrifying rage so I learnt to shut up and ask nothing from anyone. I have never felt safe and probably never will. My own rage protects me from from being bullied or used but also isolates me. Therapy hasn't cured me but it has allowed me to survive so far.
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)11:58:53 No.2272476
    >>2272393

    Jesus shitting christ man, that sucks.

    Well, congrats on having actual real problems, at least, unlike most of the bawwwfags in here.
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)11:58:58 No.2272479
    "BAWWWW" circlejerk.
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)11:59:54 No.2272482
    Happy and innocent kid at school up until I was about 14, but around then I felt insucure about everything and wreked my brain with a shit ton of extacy, weed, ket, acid etc. I`m now 24 and have a fucked up anxiety problem whiich is down to all the drugs I have taken over the years.
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)12:29:27 No.2272651
         File :1227893367.png-(26 KB, 648x509, YOU'RE TOO SLOW.png)
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    Well lets see, I grew up to the age of about 8 all innocent and whatnot, sure my parents were strict and all but that didn't bother me, what did was the move to a new town. I was a normal kid, pretty smart till grade 7 and 8 when I became severely depressed and everyone seemed to pity me. Then high school came in grade 9 and I was suddenly friends with everyone again. Still a smart kid etc.. bullied and whatnot in grade 10-12 lost my mind from it and shut myself away from everyone.

    Then summer came and I decided to pick myself back up little by little each year. Then we reach this summer and I meet up with an old childhood girl I used to know. Everything's going great, got a social life again, a better job and generally enjoying my new life. She somehow ends up confessing that she likes me and we end up dating for a bit until she tells me that her father didn't really want us dating at all. Of course we still try to see each other throughout the rest of the summer, but when she told me the reason why he didn't want us to I lost my mind, began to re-evaluate everyone and everything, question god more than I already did and generally just give up and hate everything.I couldn't talk to anyone for a while and I shut myself away again for a short while before figuring it was stupid and decided I'd never risk my life on something like that again and move on.

    So I pick myself up again, begin getting into shape, continuing to work and go to college etc life is good once more

    then a close relative dies, everyone's depressed etc especially my mom because it was my grandmother. At this point I have to almost halt my life to be there for her because my dad doesn't give two shits since he's tired from work. I decided i'd had enough, quit my job figured that I might as well just off myself but I wouldn't want to do that to my family.

    Is the Grass always greener? You tell me.
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)12:31:51 No.2272663
    >>2272651
    Sorry, but that's such a pitiful complaint. Your mom should be able to handle the death on her own, and you need to let her know that.

    You should keep working hard like you've been doing. It sounds like you're a very good person and you shouldn't let your mom get you down over it. It's not your or your dad's obligation to help her-- she needs to help herself.
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)12:38:34 No.2272697
    >>2272663
    I can't just do that to her. She's not really that strong of a person emotionally or anything and i'm afraid she'll do something stupid if I don't do something at least. You can't just leave someone who comes to you crying especially when it's your own mother and if you could..I dunno I just wouldn't feel right doing it.
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)12:41:23 No.2272718
    >>2272651

    Seems to me like you're too fixated on other people. Put yourself before them, even if it is your mom, and then see how you are.
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)12:45:37 No.2272739
    >>2272697
    Tell her she needs to strengthen up. She'll have to learn to be strong and you shouldn't halt your life for it. People go through deaths of family members all the time. She's making a big deal out of the past.
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)12:47:19 No.2272751
    It's when I got raped by my best friends, dated a girl that was sexually fucked in the head and scarred me for future girls and playing video games most of my life instead of fixing it.

    Before the corruption I was happy, energetic, and inquisitive. I have never liked many people, I like to break and fix things more then I do anything else. I just wanted to be like my dad.

    I am still fucked in the head, but I am on the right path. My shitty old life is like a barnacle, but I am trying to pry it off me every chance I get.

    Thanks for asking! I hope you guys realize now that it isn't what happened that "scars" you it's what you make it mean. Shit just happens.
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)12:55:17 No.2272805
         File :1227894917.jpg-(87 KB, 1157x1097, daddy fucked me.jpg)
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    This, when I was four.
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)12:56:08 No.2272815
    My mother had social anxiety disorder and agoraphobia, and she used to ignore me/hint to me she wished that I was never born all the time. My dad was working 60-80 hours a week at his minimum wage job to support me and my five siblings, so I seldom saw him (but he was always very kind and supportive when he was around). They were both bad with money, and we would often wonder where our next meal would come from. As I got older my teachers claimed that I was gifted... It has caused me a lot of problems... I have often held myself back so that I could fit in. I always get into trouble when I reveal my true self. When I was in high school I became anorexic because my parents favored my sister more than me and I thought that it was because I wasn't attractive enough. It took me two years to realize that there was something wrong with me, and when I begged my mother for help she told me that I was hopeless... That I would never get better and that I would die that way. I recovered on my own. After my first year of college my mother was diagnosed with schizophrenia, then she got a divorce from my father and started telling me that the FBI and CIA were observing me and that they wanted to make me a secret double agent... Then my first long-term boyfriend dumped me... It was pretty much the final straw. I was severely depressed for two years after that. I thought about suicide every day. Every time I asked for help I would be ignored, or the information would be used to manipulate me. Three months ago I graduated from college (with honors). I spent the first month and a half of it locked away in my mother's apartment listening to her nonsense, fighting with my coke dealing brother, and trying to decide if I should kill myself or not. After that I got my first little bit of freelance work, and I used the money to visit an old classmate. We ended up having sex, and now we're dating... But, I'm still pretty lonely and fucked up.
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)12:58:06 No.2272827
    >>2272815
    I don't even think there is a "before the corruption" in my case, btw. There is just depressed me and not depressed me. The not depressed me is just more extroverted and nicer to be around.
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)12:59:01 No.2272835
    shyness. shit sucks.
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)13:07:04 No.2272893
         File :1227895624.jpg-(56 KB, 450x600, 450px-Beinecke_Library_interio(...).jpg)
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    I began too think too much.
    Then my dad tried to frame me for stealing my stepmother's jewelry for my horse money.
    Maybe it all went wrong when I took that first hit...
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)13:19:00 No.2272982
    1.) When I was 12 I accidentally downloaded CP on kazaa and became neurotic that merely having seen it would turn me into a pedophile. That act alone may not seem like much, but the next, say, 4 years were spent obsessing over the possibility that I would turn into a monster, trying constantly to repress the image and the event and developing a severe self-loathing that guided most of my behavior from then on. I don't know where I got the idea that seeing an image could turn you into a pedophile. Probably TV.

    2.) I was a fairly bright (obviously not THAT bright) kid, friendly, overly "pure." naive as shit. Thought curse words would damn you to hell. Couldn't understand the violence and mean spirited teasing of my classmates. Tried to forgive and be friendly to anyone who would allow it, despite regularly getting kicked in the nuts for it. I'm not trying to paint myself as some kinda saint here - that's just the kind of naive little shithead I was at the time.
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)13:26:46 No.2273021
    Like many of you it started when my parents divorced. I used to be somewhat shy, but I still had some friends and read a lot and I was always doing well in school. Then my parents split up, which kinda messed with me, but the worst part was when I was on my dad's computer and discovered that he had a hidden stash of CP. Worst thing I ever saw (gore and such doesn't even phaze me) and those pictures have been haunting me ever since. I became a total shut-in, stopped reading, didn't bother to do anything for school, didn't talk to my friends until I lost them all. When I got my own computer I basically started living on the internet and completely stopped caring about life.

    Now I'm 20 and still the same. I'm going to fail my degree, I'm still a virgin (never even kissed a girl) and I'm probably going to become an hero soon. (don't worry, I'll post pics when I do)
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)13:27:20 No.2273022
    >>2272982
    Honest to a fault huh? Some people are just so innocent like that as kids. I was kinda like that when I was little too. Can get you into alot of trouble.
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)13:39:43 No.2273090
    Ive been shy since i was 8 or so because i started thinking instead of doing. When i was 13 i became interested in paganism and anti christian ideas, but at a sudden point i realised all those idelogies are justsome random thought put together and not a road to 'enlightenment'. Anyway since then i try to hollow out my thoughts as much as possible.
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)13:46:31 No.2273127
    Was constantly teased by my family and most of my classmates.

    I was a goofy, annoying motherfucker. No athletic skill either, which I think broke my dad's heart. He has my little brother though, who's pretty good at baseball and basketball.

    Anyways, I then proceeded to get involved with exactly the wrong girl, causing a catastrophic emotional meltdown and my current continued cynicism for all that is emotional.
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)13:59:18 No.2273186
    I failed to socialize before I was 5. I didn't even want to, I would have tantrums or just cry for prolonged periods if my parents tried to get me to play with other kids. I wanted to be alone with my chemistry set, math workbooks, and PeeWee's Playhouse. This was in the '80's so no "omg my kid has autism" so I dunno why I was like that.

    When I was 8 or 9 my parents had to move to another state and that pretty much crushed me and destroyed my ability to deal with anything long-term and I went downhill for awhile.

    I also probably have a mild mental illness but I refuse to spend a long time trying to get diagnosed so I just go on my way. One doc thinks I suffer from clinical depression and a counselor thought I have a personality disorder.
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)14:00:35 No.2273196
    let me see.

    When I was a kid my granma would feed me sweets and cakes to no end - I onviously ate anything, thus becoming a fattie. Looking back, as a kid i spent most of my time outside playing with other kids, ridin bycicle and such. I never got in a fight, unless it fas fictionous ("let's pretend i was a giant monster destroying the city and you was a knight!"). I was a brilliant kid, not a genious, but most of the stuff that other kids were strugglin to get come easily to me. My teachers and parents kept telling that I was a genious, my grades were top class. Looking back, about at that time I stopped studying, since I was "a genious", capable of learning just listening to shit once. The future proved me wrong.

    Around 12-14 years old, my classmates began playing with the concept of sex, while I began playing with RPGs and Computers and Vidya and reading difficult books. Most of my friends, some of which are my best friends, were females.

    In high school i struggled a bit, being a bit nerdish (fat, silent, sat in the darkness). I got picked upon for my pacifist views (I hadn't fought anyone..yet), and big kids and bullies, well, bullied me.

    About 2 years into high schools everything changed. I grew almost 30 cm in a summer, I was still fat but i was tall. Bullies came to bully me, and I retaliate with little violence. Then one day I snapped and reatliate with extreme violence. I spent 3 years being a model student in class and picking fight with the other kids after school. Not to look like an hero or something, but at least at school i used my all-new renew of prizefighter to protect nerds, little kids and girls.

    Then i got hammered ont he nvil of life for a good 4 year (dropped out of college, father died, suddenly less moneys, started working with abusive people, etc).

    I don't remember the point of all this.
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)14:03:00 No.2273220
    was raised a fairly strict mormon and as a result sexually and socially repressed

    also I was probably more intelligent then was good for me and as a result over throught everything and now I can't see a reason to do anything except kill myself at the opportune time
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)14:03:50 No.2273228
    >>2273021
    lol

    this is your typical 4chan story

    seeing your dad looking at CP is pretty fucking bad

    I'm pretty sure my dad is a repressed homosexual, though I have absolutely zero proof (but the lack of evidence of any sexual interest on my dad's part is itself evidence of him suppressing his true desires).
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)14:15:17 No.2273296
    I'm 21. Doctor thinks I'm Aspergers, and this is the first time anyone has ever suggested it about me in my medical history. Makes an awful lot of sense looking back at my past, fits me down to a tee. The miserable and lonely bit... basically came about the same way as it does for anyone else here. Hit mid-late teenage years, gained a bit of insight and it hit me that I didn't really fit in, and set me pondering why I didn't fit in. This caused anxiety problems, and then eventually depression. I'm scared of becoming psychotic.

    Weird kids have it easy nowadays. Back when I went through the early stage of the educational system, they only focused on the kids with learning difficulties or the plain thick ones. These days they pick up on all the kids with disorders. I was top of my class throughout school so I flew under the radar, so to speak. What school gives a shit about if the intelligent kid is coping with people and fitting in as long as he/she gets good exam results?
    >> Anonymous 11/28/08(Fri)14:15:27 No.2273297
    My parents left my country of birth to start a life in America when I was 3. I lived with my extended family until I moved again when I was 6.

    I guess I never adjusted to the two events.
    I always felt awkward, I constantly fuck up socially, I have an intense fear of rejection and of being humiliated.

    Could have just been born with it. But I'm not sure.
    >> feels good man ‮ nam doog sleef ‪‪‪‮‬‬ !FEELStM/Rs 11/28/08(Fri)14:19:28 No.2273318
         File :1227899968.jpg-(32 KB, 509x600, 1195886473855.jpg)
    32 KB
    1) I moved across the country to a niggafied city with a niggafied school in a southern state after spending 12 or so years in the whitest, cleanest and coolest place I've ever known. Everything just went downhill after that.

    2) I was always basically just shy. I had a cool group of friends and socialized and actually went outside on a regular basis though. I imagine I'd be a lot better off than I am now had I never moved, even though I'd probably still be somewhat of a loser. But that'd be so much better than now.


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