"I spilled some feel remover on my life and now it's gone"

>>2161410
"Come over and fuck me in the ass, from OP's girlfriend."

>coming to r9k to bra about being in love
may I remind you thet everything else in your life sucks, because otherwise you wouldnt feel like doing it

>Happy Easter, son. Are you coming to see the family with me?

;_;

Hm, But they like Florida though...

>were talking about missions to take Jews to havens around Asia, said they would complain about the heat.

>You're such a handsome man

From my mom

"Not that well but i know ur being a bitch towards me and u can go 2 hell"
Oh god, when 21 year old men type like 10 year olds it makes me cringe.

"Sorry."

Probablyunoriginalblox

>Just left office. Will stop and get Chinese.

>>2161449
She's just a friend, but hoping to rustle some jimmies, that's all.

"Puppies...are...so...cute."
Accompanied by a video of my friend's roomate's 2 German Shepard puppies.

>Your shitting habits don't make you less of a person or less groovy.

"Forever now. It was a secret."

>Happy new year, son. I don't know when I'll see you again but text me back soon, sport! Hope 2003 is a great year for ya!

I don't have a phone. So I don't receive text messages.

Also, you know, no friends even if I did.

>ha yup

One of my bros.

":( I wish you guys would make up I love you guys as friends nothin more but yeah grrr at you two"

She didn't stop complaining about ME3s ending for weeks, I put the bitch in her place and im currently "borrowing" her 2T hard drive.

"Yeah well I could report you for being a rapist with that text sooooooooooooooo be careful what you say you creepy fuck"
lol

I'm more than boring...

>I'm eating a Cadbury egg :D

>Ok. Sounds good to me.

On the subject of streaming Legend of Korra Friday and watching the third episode Saturday morning.

>"My favorite person"
From the friendzone, with love.

"congrats on losing your one friend. remember how you were complaining about how you had no friends? now you can say that and it will be 100% true"
Well... shit.

>hey I'd say come down but it wouldn't be for long because I just found out I have to go at 4 so I dont want you to come down for nothing, sorry man

> "Are you even here yet?"

"haha thanks man. i actually have a lot but i just havent had the time to smoke it. plus i lost my bowl :("

>Sweet! How many are y'all crossing?

fraternity stuff

Ok :)

does a smiley face mean she digs me

> "... You made me laugh in class! XD I love you <3"

She's only said 'I love you' to me twice before (we've been dating 10 months now). Bitches fucking love humour.

>please recharge your credit


;_;

>omg thanks!

>nspolo words;

No actually i didnt, u overestimate how much i care

>Haha I feel like I've accomplished a mission. Target locked. Plan processing. Mission complete. And it took less than a year. :P haha

WHY DO YOU ALL HAVE FRIENDS?


WHY

"gonna leave class soon....cyu afterwards behind the backstop son"

There isn't a person here who can decipher what this actually meant.

>>2161632
What do you mean?
>>2161567 is me.
I've never had a friend. Let's be sad together.

> Don't feel bad, I like taking to you at night. Its nice :)
We have been talking till 3 am for the past couple of nights and is now super tired. I feel bad for keeping her up.

>true. to a shit team

Talking about the Devils-Panthers series with my bro who is a Devils fan. He is upset.

"Of course i will! I'll make sure nobody kills her either.. :)"

>On deck with lucy! 8 a tab =)

>DON'T GET MAD AT ME D;

she's so cute.

>that feel when she called me "hers"

>"MANAGE ME IM A MESS TURN A PAGE IM A BOOK HALF UNREAD'

They're lyrics. lol

im going to squritle all over your jigglypuffs

>"Because your [sic] my boyfriend"

She was pissed about how her sister keeps changing in front of me.

"Love you! :)"
T-thanks mom ;_;

>I saw your mom and dad today!

from my friend jack.

"ok"

>and lassmn

>used on huntard

WoW friend

>"Dunno yet!"

from my mate will.

>Enjoy the Libertarian extravaganza without me :/

Technically not the "last" text message I received, but it is the last affectionate one.

>I just realised I read your message when half asleep and forgot. I won't be home until late tonight so can I get it tomorrow?

~Cousin's girlfriend whose laptop I fixed

Was busy doing shit, ignoring texts. Friend texted me saying

"WHAT'S YOUR FUCKIN BEEF BRO?"

I Responded back with "I prefer a medium rare filet mignon, but any beef will do."

>"Dinner's done"

;_;

>come now we can have a pizza party

>Cant right now. Shooting on my street. Hella cops

I thought my dealer was making shit up, but I drove by and sure enough like 10 cop cars all right by my dealers house. I saw two jolly african-americans in handcuffs one looked like he got tazed, the other had a mad poker face with tears streaming down it.

I just wanted some weed for 4/20, but of course shit always happens to prevent me from getting any. Similar story last year.

"I don't believe in fun, I am a cat."

"Nigga in mandarin is the word for bullshitting around the bush like we say "err you knoe" likee"

>"Greenlight from corporate" wtf does that even mean. Are they trying to claim that they can't tell you where you'd be transferred unless HQ gives the go-ahead?

In regardless to my place of employment closing and transferring amongst the other centers.

"I'm blocking your number. I'll cya around. It's for your own good."

>Still at work. Fuckin hate it.

>VZW FREE MSG: YOUR BILL IS READY TO VIEW ONLINE.

"yo niglord"

>>2162172

it hurts a lot to send and recieve this message

>>2161567

you told someone you had no friends? sounds like a girl too...damn, man. If it makes you feel better, I almost wanna ask you to be my texting buddy. Almost.

"No...."

Re: "Did you put twolapias in the fridge to defrost?"

>"I made pasta"

FUCK YES I'LL HAVE SOME MUTHAFUCKIN PASTA

>>2162172
Oh god. It hurts to read that message, even when it's on 4chan.

Oh god that hurts.

"I'll tell u at 10 haha"

That's extremely rude. I'd never

>you should be getting good @ it

>"Buy a subscription from RedBox now for only 14.99 a year! Call 1-800-whatever to order or visit www.redboxorwhatever.com to get your deal!"

why do i even have a phone

>>2162251
is it spaghetti?

>"I brought you some pizza for after work it's in your fridge"
from the teenager carrying my baby

-"yep"

We where talking about kingdom hearts 2, serious stuff fo sho.

"So what's a pilus?"

A pilus is essentially a penis that bacteria have.

Pitt ENS Alert: The bomb threat at Thackery Hall has been cleared. Normal operations can resume at this time.

To be fair I've been getting a ton of these.

I don't really remember the last time I got a message from a real person.

"Your VISA credit card bill is overdue"

>that was six days ago

>>2162298
Nope. It's fuckin' Ravioli.

"Uh, yeah? Not at home though."
I asked her if she was alive, which I use interchangeably with "awake."

"Lol he's a wanking machine"

> "Sure, later though. I have a killer headache"

gf of 2 years recently dumped me, want to talk to her, keeps leading me on then blowing me off ;_;

I kid you not.
"whyd u shit in my shoes faggot"
If it matters to you, I didn't shit in her shoes.

>>2162603
I know that feel, just cut contact altogether and focus on getting on with your life. There is nothing to gain but more pain from keeping in touch with an ex that dumped you. No exceptions.

Ok, cool

From my mother. Fuck yeah.

>"was there spaghetti?"

lol

>>2162606
Ugh. Next time you better shit in her shoes, sounds like a bitch.

>Can you get me some? I need it for friday's party.

Well, people don't know how to be discrete. getting tired of this shit

>this is a courtesy message from sprint, your account is past due and subject to disconnection, please contact us at -------- to schedule a payment

"Swimming tomorrow"
If I get a text, you can pretty much guarantee it's from my boss.

>"Thats nice that would be good"

Grandma; 4 days ago

Tell me!!!!!! Please

>lolol we were telling each other things.

Fuck knows, my phone has been turned off for weeks. The last message I got was probably someone inviting me to something.

"There's some pasta with your name on it when you get home."

From wifu. Feels good, man.

>Fijate aversi tu papa yevo leche
"Go see if your father bought milk"

He didn't.

"Do you want food" (mom)

I replied just as she pulled into the drive way.
No food. ;_;

"Yeah, but the inflections are fairly distinct, and there's this thing called context. Also, Chinese has Pinyin."

I'm trying to convince my friend to learn Welsh like me instead of Chinese.

>mfw I never had a cell phone or a text message in my entire life

>Ok well then come to me nxt time please and if u dnt wanna help me anymore i can understand and im not mad at u

"Whats up"
From one of my smoking buddies

>the countdown begins

we were talking about dick clark's death, i said he "really dropped the ball on us" and then my bro responded

>Suck on my missile punch.

my phone doesn't get text messaging and even if it did I have no friends

I'll give you two:

>"Yo, bring my blankie if and when u come over"

>"Nah. Lots of people though. Might not be obscure enough for your tastes."

>>2162357
You silly Pitt students and your bomb threats. Though I wouldn't mind a few here at Duq to cancel some classes.

>Exhaustion. Stress. Any number of things. <_:FadeToBlack.:_>

I fucking hate these signatures.

> :*

> You have been muted for 4 seconds, because your comment was too low in content (0.00% content)
You have been muted for 8 seconds, because your comment was not original

"Possibly"-
best friend who happens to be female

"Hey yo, nigger."

My best bro texting me.

I'm
>>2162897

here's the last text from a girl I got

"Well I'm not a big scary movie fan... But I also heard it wasnt good haha."

I vaguely asked her if she'd go see Cabin in the Woods with me after she told me she'd be good to meet for lunch tomorrow.
>She once told me her bf doesn't like her hanging with me

>Hey wanna go to prom? (paraphrasing)

guess the answer.

>Fuck you and fuck your chicken burritos
Apparently my friend wanted one too.

>>2163116
well, seeing that you're a robot, you probably dropped your spaghetti and then said "uh...uh. n-n-no thanks?"

>Bestemor has little time left doctors are making her comfortable until she leaves us today for heaven.
That was on the 16th

the only texts i get are wrong number ones from drug dealers, hookers trying to blackmail deron and rawquita, bigg gun wanting to know where his bitch at, and someone named edgar that keeps trying to order a goddamn pizza at 3am.

>>2163132
Surprisingly accurate. There was no spaghetti though.

>>2163166
was (s)he attractive?

"Autocorrect"

>There is no way you have been asleep for 14 hours

But I was.

>I mean vegan places are kinda expensive. we could go to del taco?

Trying to take a friend I haven't seen in 3 years out for dinner. First she says she wants to go somewhere vegan, then suddenly wants to go to Del Taco once I suggest some vegan places. Strange stuff.

>Your phone is off just wanted to see what I are doing

from mom

I have never received a text message

"Tvofold punktasofnun i fjolmidlahopnum a morgun. Gledilegt sumar"

"How do u know she was gonna drop you then?"

>>2163173
No. And I barely ever talk to her anyway. If I'm honest the former was the reason for my decision.

"Maybe I can on Wednesday"

Fucking teacher.

>>2163220
probably a good call. I never went to prom, its a waste of money. Only the people that peak in High School care about it.

FREE TM Advisory: Napili ka para sa mas pinabilis na internet gamit ang m.facebook.com ng 5days, LIBRE! Ang registration ay hanggang 05/19/12. I-text ang FREE FB sa 8888. Kailangan ang at least P1 load para patuloy ang service. Text FREE FB HELP to 8888 for info. No Advisories? Text STOP ALL to 2977 FREE

>SIGN UP FOR A $1000 DOLLAR WALMART GIFTCARD
That was 18 months ago

>>2163229
if that's true then 99.9% of people peak in high school
or, more likely, you're a gigantic loser who's trying to justify himself

i went to prom and it was great. like really great, the dance was a ton of fun, so was the after party.

"You have new Virgin Alerts!"

>"Hey lukii just really wanted to let u know that i think u r an amazing and careing guy and when i met u i was really going through such a hard time in my life but u still made me smile, and i didnt think that ill be as happy as i am today untill i met u, thanks for just being u, night x"

What do I say to that? Seriously?

>>2163267
Goodnight, hope to see you again real soon

>>2163257
Cool story bro, I heard from friends that actually went that it was shit. And I wasn't a loser, I had a lot of friends in high school.

"So fuck you"

I finally called out this bitch in public. She made a 13 message long story as to why I'm the villain. I didn't even read

>Lunch

lunchblox

"Ohh nice lol" from a male friend of mine like ten and a half hours ago.

>Am still out and so tired. Sorry buddy. Talk some other time
Yup story of my life

>>2163352
haven't even replied yet btw...
can't think of anyway to respond...

>16 hours, where's the money?

"U bshuld come to [local Kosher resturaunt] eather tomarrow hbefore 12 or after 6"

This Jewish kid keeps bothering me about coming buy to see him make pita bread. He doesn't seem to realize I'm not interested (as you can probably tell, he's not very bright).

"You dickhead"

From a good friend

>Your a cutie
Now I must proceed with my you are no you are no YOU are debate.

"It's about a girl that joins the airforce and has orgies with the planes."

i never went to my prom, my principal had a court order after he heard from the snitch in my homeroom, that i planned this wacky insane animal house/national lampoons/porky`s/porky`s revenge style caper involving barrels of mice,LSD spiked punch, potato guns, a burst water main/sprinkler system, porno music hooked to the PA system, and a stolen school bus.

the fucked up thing was, i actually had a motel room booked in myrtle beach (100 miles away) for myself, so i could get away from everyone and have the weekend to myself for once without people bothering me for something.

i found out everyone was severely disappointed in me that i didnt do any of it, since it would have been the highlight of their shitty hick ass lives.

>Mobile carrier ads.

Fuck me.

>>2163381
Ask him if they serve BLTs. When he says no, say "What about shrimp?".

>And my hardest fight, two heal slimes.

>>2163352
>>2163366
Seriously dude...help me out here, I was kinda looking forward to talking with this girl

>>2163437
I don't know. I don't want to hurt your dreams here, but from experience, it sounds like she's dodging you.

>>2163437
Hit her up tomorrow. At a nicer hour. If she still doesn't want to talk maybe you should find somebody different

>"Your service ends at 12:00AM. Please use your ReUp to add more funds."

that feel when only automated service messages text you

>>2163451
yeah perhaps that's true, but every time I try to do the same guess suddenly wants to chat.
>>2163457
thanks, but right now I'm definitely not in the mood to talk with her, don't know if I will be tomorrow either

>I am drinking Sam Adams summer ale. It made me think of you! Call me soon?!?!!!
Ladies be all up in my shit. Don't be so jealous.

>that feel when you haven't even looked at your phone in 18 months because the company has disconnected it and the battery died

Who was a kidding, nobody would text/call me anyway.

Why aren't you here...?

How long did you wait?

>>2163497
ignore her brah. It will be tough, but if she's dodging you, its better in the long run.

>>2163581
I'm pretty much cutting off all communications as of now since this is just a torturous waste of time.
What I don't get is why would you act like you're interested in someone then switch to lolwejustfriendzrite and then on top of that be a shitty friend?

>>2163414
Hahahahaha.
That's a terrific idea.
He's so dense, though, he probably wouldnt get it.

>Lyric that gives me chills: "Love me, love me O God, love me, love me O God." Ritualz - Third Eye Sixth Sense

He's got great taste in music.

>>2163673
You're both fags

>>2163685
No, we just enjoy the same types of music.

>>2163697
...and I enjoy shitting on it.

Give me a day and I'll produce 10 cd-rs worth of similar material using nothing but my laptop microphone, samples of my mp3 collection, and audacity.

>"Are we eating lunch together?"

Yes best friend, we are. It is at that time I'll sit with the awkward quiet kid while I eat my lunch, and you'll be talking with your ex that you apparently never really liked...

>>2163654

This is one of the top 5 worst feels in the world. I have gone through near death starvation, life threatening drug withdrawals, and tons of broken bones. This is comparable to those feeling except it lasts a lot longer. Physical injuries can be mended, but psychological ones are a whole other monster. And the shitty thing is, it's not only happening with romantic relationships for me now. All of my friends are slowly severing contact with me.

feels sad man

":) goodnight"
>implying someone will actually scoll all the down here

>>2163732
I'd actually enjoy that quite a bit.

>>2163654
yeah I have friends like that, its annoying as hell, just cut them off and find someone else. Bitch them out, it can be fun.

> No, you don't sound creepy

Yeah that was a week ago.

I've got more from other females

"Bank of America:
Available balance is $90.12 on 4/18/2012 for account 6514. Go online for details.
TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp"

>uuuh no

From a bro, asked if he has ever seen this picture we were talking about.

>OK lol thats fine
pretty pointless coversation

Rough translation:
"Regarding your proposal.

It's stupid. Please don't contact us again."

>>2163782
I'll get right on paul stretching a clip of the part of Britney Spears "Baby One More Time" from the part where she says "I shouldn't have let", then speeding it up just enough to make it sound "haunting." Then I'll find a loop to use on an old Orbital record or something. You can find a shitty bongo loop and some 808 handclaps anywhere.

Look. I know how you feel about me, but what will following me constantly accomplish? I didn't want to be rash but I can't have you being my shadow if I am to do anything with my current relations. Please, treat me as you would (friends name) or any of your other FRIENDS. That is all we are, after all.

>"Aha right c;"

"Check your mail" - Mom

A little over an hour ago.

Oh well let me just get my-

Oh that's right I don't have a phone....

>>2163773
>feels sad man
the word sad doesn't even begin to describe, but your right this is the worst of feels
>>2163802
>Bitch them out, it can be fun.
thought about it, but can't do it.
why? because I'm more made at myself than her for falling into this trap when I know for a fact I deserve better whether from a potential love interest or just a friend and yet I allowed this shit to occur....FUCK!

>Fuck. Did I blow you last night?

Ok it wasn't LIERALLY the last text I got but it was by far the most interesting.

I would probably have more text messages if my girlfriend wasn't borrowing my phone. Android doesn't save your contacts on your sim card at all, so I can't see the names of people who are texting me cause I'm using a backup phone. When people do text me I don't know who the fuck they are and I'm scared to ask

>"Don't think so. Check it out anyway."

Bought a tiny clock, basically a watch inside of a small piece of granite. I asked my friend if wally world does repairs.

>Please read email asap about dish network calling this morning.

she then called right after sending the text.

dish called at 12:30...

>Christ, if it's that easy to get a hug over in Washington, Ohio must be Insane mode."

>That's why I'm saying aliens.
Its hard to explain the context.

>I'm going to see how many sharpies I can fit into my asshole

Yeah. It's exactly what you think it is.

>>2163999
>2012
>not cardsharing

ISHYGDDT

>>2164026
why would you text yourself
told

>My feelings changed...I'm sorry...

Yes that is the tail end of a break-up :/

>>2164030

whats this cardsharing?

>>2164113
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Card_sharing

Not that Long haha like 3 minutes. :P

>figure it out for yourself

>do you erase the messages that i send to you?
she is embarassed of dating me ;_;

>>2164047
One of my friends actually sent me that. He's completely straight. I'm really concerned. And it was out of fucking nowhere.

>"Hahha mmk thanks so much [anon]! Best lock buddy ever! Lol"

Girl is now sharing my school locker with me since the man locked her out of hers.

>Your service payment was successful; enjoy unlimited IN-ZONE calling UNTIL 12/05/17
That was last Monday.

00:45 [My Room]
Browsing 4chan

01:00 [My Room]
Decided to fap after all

01:30 [My Room]
Browsing 4chan

03:20 [My Room]
Getting tired, decided to sleep early tonight

Just got home, honey. I love you

>"luv ya :3"
not sure if she's falling for me, or I'm getting deeper and deeper into the friendzone

>Ey I forgot the game! Fml it's already good to go. Wanna pick it up in the morning?

Olde coworker forgot a game of mine, gotta go get it now.

>wheres the lube?

>>2164282
Ask, "like love love or..."

"oh ok. I work at 5. so text me whenever. Good night :)"


Just started talking to her today.


Feels good man

>>2163966
Call her a bitch for always leading you on and then falling through on plans that the two of you made. Tell her she's a shitty friend and you don't want to hear from her again. Then finish by saying you aren't mad, and that shit will actually be better now that you don't have to deal with her being such a cunt.

from mom
>$117.17

Well this is exciting...

>>2164313
Yeah that will go over great, her telling her friends how you acted like a fucking psychopath on facebook.

Acting like a whiny bitch when things don't go your way won't help you, it only makes things worse.

>>2164352
Really, because I did it once to a girl and the most she said on Facebook was "Why am I always the bad guy?" and I dont know if that was even about it, it was just right around the same time as my text.

>You're the best. <3 We did talk for a while yesterday... ;) I love you, [Anonymous]. :)

We had phone sex last night and she was super horny.

>Stop at David's house on your way home.

That was a fun Friday.

>>2164352
And its called acting like a man. If someone's being a bitch to you, tell them instead of just sitting there doing nothing about it.

hell, i
>>2164368
have done this at least three times. One I still actually talk to. Another one half apologized/explained why she's busy all the time, and the third one said okay.

>>2164368
You're lucky then. Not saying the shit she did to you was right but at least she didn't want to create some drama out of it. It's not good to seek out that kind of shit, if some girl dodges you it's best just to move onto the next one and let it go.

>I need a favor. Will you take my shift tonight? Ill bring you some brownies next time i work with you!!!!

I didn't take the shift

>You been okay?

From my best friend. The answer is no, but I'll say yes. If I reply at all.

>>2164384
You can tell them but calling her a bitch and a cunt isn't what I'd suggest. You're just gonna start a fight. The last time I told a girl off she asked me for money to pay her rent, then when I didn't have any to help her out she ignored me. She kept whining to me about how her phone got stolen and things were so bad and she didn't want to talk. I could have maybe helped her out later if she at least made an effort to keep the friendship going but I felt like she was just trying to get money out of me. So I told her that she disgusts me and I never want to talk to her again, blocked her on all sites and called it a day.

If you insult her a lot and act like a little kid she's just going to throw the same shit right back at you. Possibly publicly, and it's not cool. Even if she makes shit up about you and you deny it people are probably going to believe it, because she has a vagina. You might think that's not fair, and you're right... But that's still no excuse to bring yourself down to such a low level. You need to be a man about it, and sometimes being a man means you have to shut your fucking mouth and deal with it.

>Sweet as, thanks man

>sweet dreams :3

shit that makes me depressed now...

>Your Health Care Card will explire unless you lodge your renewal form at Centrelink within 7 days. Do not reply by SMS.

Even automated message, the only type I get, don't want me to respond

Paraphrasing
>I'm your girlfriend and I'm being a huge cunt. No, we won't have sex. I think instead of having sex, I'll fill your ears with shit and talk about how things have changed fucking constantly. I am a bitch, also.

"Nevermind there going to ned"

My little sister telling me my parents were going to sleep. Oy.

>I don't get why you are so sad right now, didn't you have fun tonight?

>Got some true northern lights

>Yay! Good luck with everything!

>I love you

And it wasn't even from a relative!

>>2164665
Who was it from?
Why are you sad?

>Sick sick sooo are you gonna get Adderall tomorrow? Casi if so I want in :p


just some chick I like that only talks to me because I have a guy that gives me his Adderall for free and I hook her up from time to time ;_;

>"Here is your happy thought text for the day - it's hump day. Only two more days until the weekend. Hip Hip Hoorah. Love you son."

I fucking love my mom.

>faggot
also, fuck, I'm original

>No

Well, that's a bit of a bummer

mfw i dont have a phone

"there were four thefts reported on campus today, lock your doors and keep your possessions nearby."

> You big paleontologist!

I said I dig her.

>YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES!

>Haha he isn't Tom Cruise. I mean, he hasn't gotten himself a girl for prom like you for example :)

I don't even.

>"You forgot my birthday."
Sorry Dad. You were even cool enough to accept my apology, I don't deserve you.

>"Poop all over my asshole and sperm on my whale"

She's so cute

>>2164693
>I'm really only sad because I hung out with some people tonight, one of which I have liked for 4-5 years or so, and now I am stuck in the friend zone with no where to go. Its all just rushing at me, like fuck.

>Ur balance is less than $1.00.

Thanks Telstra, I wouldn't have lost all my money if you didn't charge for incoming automated SMS messages from you.

>Nucks win 3-1

"Nothing.
Hey, i dont really wanna talk to anyone right now, ill text you later.."

I'm falling apart right now. I dont know what to do or why im telling you guys. theres more context to the text, but my life is crashing down.

>>2164835

If it's a girl/boy, I promise you things aren't nearly as bad as they seem to you right now. Keep your head up!

"no, you're awesome. You function well with an interesting group of individuals."

My girlfriend feels pointless. The fuck. She may only be a 5-7/10 but dammit she's a great person to be around.

>>2164851
Oh but they are, they are. Its worse that i fucking know too. I wish i didnt, that i was ignorant and i could delude myself.

I'm not going to derail this thread though.

>Pasta is always a hell yes.
I love my girlfriend.

>"Ummm im sry... i didnt know.... ummm... u know ur a good friend.... right and u know i really like lin... im really sry...."

He finished popping too.

>"niiiiiiiiiight"

Instant message, but I figure they're close enough.

>>2164909
Ask "lin..." if he/she likes this person. If they say no proceed to inform this person straight away. Also inform them of how stupid they are for waiting for someone who has no interest in them as opposed to taking a chance with someone who does, and move on.

Crushing the dreams of people who crushed your dreams is good fun.

>U can have some if u like

referring to the curry that is currently cooking

>>2164930
Got that text a few days ago. Lin likes her (overbearingly clingy), and they're going out now, even though half the time it seems like she cant stand him.

>CDR has been moved to friday 4pm

"FUCK"
and the one before that from someone else: "Yea that's not"

>>2164959
Eh fuck em. Let them ride the emotional rollercoaster of fail together and find yourself something better.

Wow:-)~ yeah classy place:-* i will write u later:-* i love u:-D

bloxxRussiangirlfriendblox

>You're learning!

Having a stupid conversation with a female friend. We had been joking that I put my eyes in the wrong holes because I didn't see something she posted on Facebook, but it turns out she accidentally posted it only to herself.

>You have one library book that is almost due. Please return or renew it by the due date

>BITCH I HATE YOU THIS IS IMPORTANT GET THE FUCK OFF THE XBOX

My bestfriend pestering me to Skype with him.

>Oh, I really wanna know how it feels if you do those things to me.

>did u get the new phone? luv u, mom.

mfw my mom is the only person who texts me.

[anon] I love you so much!!!

Hoi, hoe laat ben je thuis?

>my dutch mom asking what time i'll be home

>No dude it's in the cupboard next to the pepsi

"I'm sleeping"

To add background, my roommate asked me to turn off the AC. And I told him to do it, but he said he was sleeping. Interesting, huh?

"Okay nice, i can't wait to see you :D i love you <3 sweet dreams."

We fucked twice tonight and she is seeing me tomorrow night. Girlfriend <3

"I've started writing a series of dear john letters. It's actually coming along well."

>i can't sleep, want to come and watch a film with me?
cuddlebuddy makes life better

>Hi from Telstra. For information about using your mobile safely, mobiles and your health or safety when driving, visit telstra.com.au/mobiletips

>Hey dude I am going to be in town this weekend! I have a hotel room! You keen for predrinks?

"discrete maths exam this wednesday, we're studying this weekend"

i can't believe OP made this thread and used /r9k/ as his blog. fuck him.

>>2165317
Are you at lease fucking him?

>Yeah,sex is involve in a relationship but having a relationshp just to hav sex,thats bad. Well dating is cool. N0thin wrong with that.

>>2164439
>You need to be a man about it, and sometimes being a man means you have to shut your fucking mouth and deal
being a man is hard, sometime we forget that
still I'm going to talk to her about it and break this cleanly
it clearly won't matter to her anyway so I've got noting to lose

"Maybe later, on the way back. Can I ask what you need those for at this time of night?"

OOH LA LA.

>>2161451
Hahahahah oh god. Easter was so long ago. you poor thing.

"Oh, well, stay cozy. See ya. :)"

I think in afternoon 2-3 pm.

Whats the password for the localadmin at school again?

About 20 ads and offerings from my phone service provider.
They send those once a month.

...Then someone asking for the combination to a lock.

>Idiot, like said that 4.20 times

"Working until 11 :("

>phone fund gives you money off a new handset at Orange shops or orange.co.uk. You have 17 pounds in your phone fund (last updated 23 MAR 12 03:00)

received on 6th april. Should i text back?

>thanks for waisting my time

I, of course, texted back
>*wasting

>Yes gay homo! Lol cya tommoz

Out of context that sounds really bad

>"I like you a lot, I can't stop thinking about you, I'm serious but I don't think you're as serious about this as I am."

if you say so.

Merry Christmas bro - 2009

"Thanks"

>It's not even original

"how u doin dude?im missing U..lol..like ur cute face..."

>i want you to leave, im keeping the kids

>having a phone
>2012
>that feel when normals on my /r9k/

"Yeah go study xoxo ttyl love you hearts babygirl you so sexy I want to cum on ye titties"

god i love this girl

>>2166668
>implying I don't have a Google Voice number

' Hey babe how are u?. i miss u so much now i with friends have 2 friends stay here tonight. so if u not bust call me some time. i love u take care'

i love asian girls texts haha

Yesterday at 9:30 : If you wanna play though I have the 10 day trials and shit

Happy new year, son

>Cathy, this is my new number. Don't share it with Carol, ok?

FOR THE LAST FUCKING TIME, I AM NOT CATHY YOU GODDAMN DUMB BITCH

>yo rezab laat anders maar... word denk ik te laat aye pengboy

LOL

>Virgin mobile has a offer for you!

>>2166708
>>2166708

text a picture of your cock, that'll learn her

>>2166720
*an

originality my dick

>Good! Great! Here's her number, call her and discuss about the details. :)

>>2166720
>Virgin mobile has a offer for you!
>Virgin mobile
>Virgin

"Tomorrow isn't good for me. I'm free next Tuesday."

I need to tell this guy that I want to fuck. Once I see him on Tuesday I'll have a friend visiting until Saturday. It means I won't be able to have sex with him until at least next Sunday. Fuck I'm feeling so impatient and dissatisfied right now.

>So now we leave it at friends then? Or would you rather we just stop talking?

I find new levels of hating myself every day, and each time I think I can't possibly hate myself anymore.

from a girl I useta date:

>Well maybe she wants to see it too :)

Not sexual, but taken out of context, it sounds that way

well i want to make sure you rest up!!

>Aren't you bored? Hehe. You know how to speak Filipino already? :)

"Nah, we're having chili, less surface area so less cooling!" was discussing camping with a friend.
From girl: "Good luck, have fun!"

> "Hey what's going on do u not wanna go to the movies with me or what??"

me ignoring my ex gf. she still thinks we're dating, lol

>Okay see you then

Woop Woop

>God jul!
for you non swefag users
>Merry Christmas!

Sometimes I wonder why I have a phone to begin with.

"I want to poop in your mouth."

My best friend loves me a bit too much.

moar, faggotss

>"Thank you for sticking up for me.. if you were or not I couldn't tell but either way x"


>I wasn't sticking up for her

>>special time offer! this easter call all your friends for $0,99!
i have no friends.

>>2167190
tell the whole story

>>2161410
funny that you ask.
it's "check this out" followed by a picture of a vagina, presumably hers
im still not sure how i should react

You left your phone here

>Sorry I missed your call, I was in a meeting. Whats up, love?

>>2167205
You should post the picture here and we will tell you how to react.

I haven't seen my phone in about 2 weeks.

>>2167205
"ECHO! Echo! echo! echo..."

If you don't, you're a pussy. And you know an insult from a stranger on the internet means something, so now you have to do it.

>Aw I can't today. Gots to help a bro out with a photo project. Ur right tho! It is a nice day, I think, as far as days go

Sigh.

>>2162829
>mfw your mom dosn't know how to type 'carry' in spanish
Dayum, she's dumb as shit.

Really? I'm glad you like, I wasn't sure if it'd come across well to other people :) out of interest, which bits made you go all weak at the knees? :p Also, you think its good enough to submit after some last minute grammar corrections then? x

From my normalfag boyfriend who's writing a short story for a competition and I'm given it a proof read :3

>>2167214
i dont know dude, i might get sex with her - and if so it means i'll love her forever and shit. i dont want to harm our future kids by releasing these photos
im not going to do it because im a giant pussy like >>2167217 said

s-should i send her something back?

>>2167228
>i dont want to harm our future kids by releasing these photos

You may as well save your self time and just send "Please respond..."

Please do the echo thing?

>>2167228
>>2167228
Send her a negro dick regardless if you're black or not for shits and giggles. She'll either find it funny, become incredibly turned on and masturbate to you that very moment or will cry for it's glory.

From my mother:

"Please stop talking and go to bed."

I was talking to friends on TeamSpeak.

>>2167243
People still use teamspeak?

>>2167245

What else?

>blocks

>>2167233
>>2167242
i've acted too rush and sent her "thanks" already
she replied with "you're welcome :)"

i dont want to save a nigger dick on my phone, so can i just send her "8========D" ?

>>2167249
Vent?
Mumble?
Skype?

I just haven't heard teamspeak mentioned in forever.

>>2167252
Send her a picture of a hotdog and two eggs.

>>2167254

I know it from when I played Call of Duty 4. I set up my own server at home which I can run 24/7. Since all my friends and I go to university now we use it to talk while we play vidya.

>>2167256
provide me with a good one and i'll supply it with care

>"count me in bro!"

Invited a chick over to get stoned.

I need to buy some furniture before next weekend, fuck.

>>2167258
pasdgjkasiojgsaaa

>>2167265
Thank you. Also, I need to put eggs and hotdogs on my list.

>>2167264
I hope she's bringing some of her own

"EVERY NIGHT AT MIDNIGHT IS 90'S NICKELODEON WAT"

>>2167256
ok great, sent it
>"yummy"

i think >she wants to fuck

"Dude I'm grilling steaks tonight, get over here as soon as you get back!"

>>2167269
her own furniture? i don't think so bro!

JPM buy?

>>2167275
Ask if she has ketchup.

>>2167269
Furniture or weed?

I doubt she will bring either. I dont really mind, I have really low tolerances at the moment and I'l have a 1/4 between us. Whats left over will last me like a week or two, I guess.

I didnt really have any plans when I asked her over. I recently moved into a sharehouse (advertised on the internet, so with nobody I know) and everyone spends 99% of the time in their room if they're not at work. So there is no furniture in the lounge room, or a TV or anything. So we'l probably spend the entire time in my room, trouble is I dont have any furniture.

I have a tiny desk, an office chair and a single mattress on the floor.

My plan is to get a fold out couch to replace the mattress this weekend so we have something to sit on. Then watch movies or something for a few hours. (hopefully she gets so blazed she'l want to stay over)

I'l have to take the smoke alarm batteries out too, I guess. Might get myself an electric fan while I get the bed/couch.

>>2167269
...no matter if you are talking about weed or furniture, expecting a girl to rbing something when you invite her over is like asking her to go on a date and expecting her to pay for everything, from meals to movie tickets.
woman dislike paying for things, btw.

>>2167304

Is that supposed to be a metaphor for her virginity?

>>2167317
Uh... Sure. Let's go with that.

>>2167317
that's... pure poetry!
;___;

>>2167304
how about stop the trash talk and inviting her over to your house tonight?before she get feed up by the food-sex talk?

>>2167350
Oh. I bet she'll get fed up.

Wink.

"You do make me giggle :L xx"

from a girl

``Dear Walmart shopper, Congratulations you have just won a $1000 Walmart Gift Card. Click here to claim your gift. www.WmartVIPsite.com (STOP2end)''

P15, rom 314