>I thought they everyone penises
What does this even mean?

>you had the potential to be the most powerful wizard that has ever existed
here I go. I can't swim. Some people know, but it's pretty embarrassing

How does that even happen... Were you so sheltered and protected from sex?

Anyways, for me is a pretty common one, exclusive pedophilia. Only like the little girls, can't help it. Doesn't help that any time I'm around my parents they point out every "hot chick" because of how pathetic I seem for not having a girlfriend yet.

I thought they everyone penises.

I do not shower for days, even weeks, unless I go out.

i thought they have everyone have penises aswell
iknowthatfeel.jpeg

Wait just a god damn minute here.

...Women don't have penises?

i fucked a prostitute when i was 14 and im still scared about probably having AIDS.

>>2114614
I'm just picturig the first time you get a girl home at the age of 18. putting your hand down her pants and thinking.

WTF IS THIS SHIT!

girls_have_a_penis_too_but_its_hidden.jpg

>>2114646
are you black?If so don't feel so bad it's a genetic thing, though your average guy will just find it more funny.

how can you avoid sex ed and porn for 19 years?

Can't swim.

Can't ride a bike.

Kissless virgin at age 19, though I don't really mind.

>>2114713
nope, white as fuck. I simply had very bad health when I was little so I couldn't go to the pool to learn. Now it seems weird to learn at my age.

I couldn't tell time on a non-digital clock until I googled it a year ago (i'm 19).

I knew that girls didn't have penises for a long time because when we were like 6 or 7 my cousin and I did the whole "I'll show you mine if you show me yours" thing.

But what I can say is that until like 6th grade, I thought that the sperm just entered her body when you were kissing. No concept of the whole cock in vagina thing.

>>2114713
Other person who can't really swim here. I'm not black either, and I even did have lessons at summer camps and shit, but I don't know. No matter what, I was never able to tread water. And as >>2114739 said, it just feels weird to learn at this age.

I never learned how to drive, and every time I try to learn, I freeze up.

I feel so ashamed.

>I thought they everyone penises.

whut

I'm so picky when it comes to food that there are entire restaurants I refuse to eat at.

Not such a big deal now but when someone invites me out to eat I have to lookup the menu to wherever we're going so I can make sure I'll be able to eat.

I never knew the anatomy of a vagina. I knew there was a little slit there but I didn't realize it was a damn hole. I thought I peed from my clit, which I assumed was a ridiculously tiny penis.

I also did not realize girls could masturbate until I was 19 years old. I thought that was a luxury only men had.

I'm a black guy and my penis is only about 6 inches

Anal sex is the sex you have once a year.

>>2114657
I'm the same way, except I'm female and my grandma always points out the "hot guys." And I'm not a pedophile.

Seriously, grandma, leave me the fuck alone. I don't want to be with anyone.

Didn't learn how to tie my shoes until I was 13, first learned how to ride a bike when I was 12.

I've fapped to traps
My penis is only 5 inches long
I thought they everyone penises

>I have vitilligo on my genitals.

Basically means that my natural skin tone in that area (tan colour) has white splodges and some of the hair has turned white. That's the only thing actually holding me back atm, in terms of confidence, looks etc, I'm good It's just that.

People discussing how they can't swim.
My school own it's own olympic sized swimming pool.

>black
>4 inch penis
>lie about it

I have little colorless bumps all over my cock shaft and sometimes I squeeze them till this little stringy white pus comes out

My older bro and I sucked cocks in the tub when we were like 7

I can't let a relationship that only lasted like a month escape my mind. It's got me down for like 3 and a half months now and I have absolutely no idea why. I feel pathetic as fuck, when does it get better?

I watch anime, some moe-type stuff included. Weird how common that is on the internet but it's so taboo in real life.

>>2114945
Well congratulations you smug cunt

>>2114949
>that feel, bro...

that feel...

tinyniggercoxblox

>>2114965
>I have little colorless bumps all over my cock shaft
this is normal
>sometimes I squeeze them
this isn't
stop doing that

>>2114635
He accidently the verb.

>I didn't know girls pissed out of their asses until I was 16

>>2115005
>all of my fucking what

this thread, man...what the hell

>>2114916
I also have dick problems.
I have these horrible fordyce spots on my shaft, and I'm afraid that it will freak some girl out.

Not being able to swim is some thing to be embarassed about?

>Schizophrenia
>Pedo

I have Marfan Syndrome.
It's dominant, so my kids will have it... if I have kids.

I'm unnaturally fast with my fingers/hands, which means I have a much higher ceiling for technical skill on musical instruments (Paganini, Rachmaninoff), but apart from that, there's no real benefit from it. I'm wondering whether I should taint the gene pool further.

I like blink-182.

I'm sorry, /mu/

>>2114845
i can't even be in a car without having a panic attack or fighting one off. both medication and hypnotherapy have failed to help.

>>2114907
Also
>watch anime, mostly moe
>listen to jpop and kpop

>mfw I still come off as a normal person irl
>mfw they will never know

>I thought they everyone penises

You thought dong OP.

>I didn't know what a miscarriage was till 16
>I used to piss the bed till 13
>I used to watch porn and not masturbate, I didn't start actually jerking off till 17

>>2115022

If you live that long

tfw can't swim because I'm hydrophobic

I thought girls shat out babies until I was 13

>I regularly have an auditory hallucination that sounds like a giant swarm of winged bugs flying by

>also my vision is fucked in a way that makes me believe I'm schizophrenic along with the bug thing, never told anyone about either

i wear diapers when I'm on my period
they absorb more, and they're just comfortable.

I have masturbated my female dog and my male dog. Several times. Also made them lick my penis. Also sucked my dog penis.
Closest my penis have been to a vagina is my dogs vagina.

>>2115091
>>2115091
>>2115091

Do you pee in them too?

>>2115069

LOL

I know this feel

>pretty much a normalfag
>listen to video game OSTs (mostly FF, some Silent Hill, tons of Ace Combat, Jet Set Radio, etc) and some jpop songs
>no one will ever known

>>2115110
sometimes when I'm too lazy to use the restroom.

Eating disorder. I binge/compulsively overeat. Comes and goes every few months. Right now it is really, really bad.

I changed my diet so the only stuff in my apartment is meat and veggies. Figured it would be really hard to binge on that. I still binge. Can't control it. I eat until my stomach becomes distended and it is painful to move. I'm talking like 3 pounds of beef in a single setting.

There are mad chemical inbalances in my brain.

I have this weird white stuff that comes out of my nipples and areolas... like I am lactating.

OP how the fuck did you not know women had vaginas? Did your parents keep you locked in the basement? How fucking retarded can you possibly be?

>>2115119

lolwat how could you possibly be too lazy? On the assumption you only wear them at home.

>>2115113
Mah nigga. Do you by chance listen to music from Child of Eden?

>>2114845
Is that you, Michelle?

I started to think about what I thought as a child when it came to the differing genitals and then I realized I never gave them thought until I was about 11 and my mom gave me a book for 6-year-old Catholics about where babies come from.

Thanks mom.

>>2115133
like when I'm tired.
>pull underwear down
>pee
>wipe
>pull them back up
>flush
>wash hands

then it's just
>pee in diapers
>take it off & throw it away
>put another one back on

>>2115113

Dude I have the same thing with video game music. I'm a pretty normal person I guess, but I would NEVER let anyone know that I listen to songs from all the different RPGs and other video games that I've played lol.

I never realized girls could cum until i was about 16.

I fucked an orange in my bathtub when I was in 7th grade before I knew about orgasms.

>>2115165

Is it weird that I find that attractive?

>>2114845

Oh god, I'm the same way..

It's embarrassing trying to explain how you're 20 and don't have a drive's license. I can rely on public transit for the most part, but it still sucks.

I jacked off to gay porn once and Im not even gay. Don't know why i did it.

I'm a guy and piss sitting down, unless all the cubicals are taken in public restaurants that's about the only exception. It's just so much easier and less messy.

I've been making a cum donut with one of those blank dvd case tops. When it gets full, I'm gonna sprinkle some food coloring on it, gift wrap it, write 'Fruitcake For The Cute Donut Shop Girl' on the wrapping, and leave it in front of the donut shop door early in the morning.

>>2115208
no its ok dude
we all have our fetishes

>>2115147
Nope. It's prevented me from doing so much.
>>2115210
I know that feel. My mom used to yell at me because whenever I was brought up in her conversations, people always expected me to drive.

>>2115238

Contact info? I'm doubting it's sexual for you but hey, it's a pretty interesting thing to do in the first place.

>>2115267
woah
no

arrblocks

>>2114898
Didn't learn to tie my shoes until I was 16 and only ever wore sandals before that, almost 21 and still don't know how to ride a bike.

Get on my level, scrub

>>2115242


When I was 18 and learning how to drive, my father used to scream at me at the top of his lungs about my lack of driving ability, my anxiety would kick in, and everything would go downhill from there which would usually end with a panic attack..

After a year and a half, he gave up trying to teach me and I lost all desire to drive.

>>2115304
>>2115242
>>2115210
>>2114845
>tfw I'm not the only one

I love Erasure and Always is my favorite song. I never told anyone and when Robot Unicorn Attack came out I pretended I only liked that song because of the game.

Throughout middle school and the first two years of high school I would have panic attacks and to get over them I would usually watch a children's show or movie.

One good one was Rainbow Brite and the Star Stealer. So if anyone had actually know about this (luckily, no one ever even knew about the panic attacks) you would walk in on me hyperventilating in front of a TV or computer playing Rainbow Brite.

Yea...

Pectus Excavatum

Its ok, I didn't really like going to the beach or having sex with the lights on anyways ;_;

>>2115388
That was a good movie. You just took me back to the day.

My friend had an older sister and we would go into her room and dance infront of her (when she was asleep) naked and with boners.
Am I the only one who ever did this?

>>2115442
> asleep
so you thought

I pretend to be bisexual, but I have realized that I only am attracted to guys because I am completely starved for affection. I feel horrible all the time, but it makes them happy to be around me.

I remember when I was a kid and my cousin told me about the sex thing.

I thought "Oh it must be amazing, but my future wife will never want to do that..."

By that time I hadn't realized that I would never marry.

>>2115514

Aren't most bisexual women like that?

I mean, they're biromantic usually, but they only feel physical attraction to guys.

[spolier]Its pretty embarrassing, I thoughtthey everyone penises

listen to kpop all day errday
no one knows (minus who i live with because posters/cds everywhere)
avoid letting people know i own and iPod
when people ask me what music i listen to, "everything"

I would most definitely enjoy taking things up the ass despite not liking dudes.

>>2115514
Oddly similar:

My group of friends used to be all male except me. The competitiveness over me got to be so annoying and uncomfortable that I pretended to be a lesbian for awhile (actually bisexual) to eliminate the sexual tension and have normal friendships.

>>2115017

90% of guys have them, the least common are in latin men. Don't freak out bro, girls don't even notice them.

>>2115427
i know that feel, bro.
i have pectus carinatum, the exact opposite.

feelsbadman.jpg

>people are disgusted by my unsightly personage

I once molested a girl while she was sleeping, made her jack me off and even tried to stick it in her mouth but she resisted. To this day I'm still not sure if she was actually awake and just pretending to be asleep or not.

I don't drink tequila anymore because of this.

>>2115610
Mah nigga. I'm >>2115069. I've almost been caught a few times but managed to get away.
>they will never know

The first time I saw a real penis up close, I thought I got pregnant.

I go to 4chan and pretend I'm a guy. At some point, probably between the eroge and dating sims, I actually forgot I wasn't.

When I was a newfag I was afraid to post pics because I thought I'd get hacked.

I'm afraid of teenagers and women under 30 because everyone who picked on me was between the ages of 12 and 30.

I fell "in love" with a girl before I realized that vaginas are absolutely disgusting. I feel bad for you guys.

> me in grade 6 gettin bullied
> fairly sheltered life, religious community
> gets called a pussy
> older sister of the bully felt sympathy I think and asked if I knew what a "pussy" was
> I didn't, and she told me that it was a vagina, basically
> by then, bullies left
I go home that night and out of morbid curiousity, found some porn. For the longest time after that, I'd furiously look at the demo websites in awe. I didn't know I was being turned on, I had no clue of sex or anything really.
Nothing like looking at lookin at porn on the family computer.

>>2115857
what part of that wouldn't you mention in real life?
seems very tame to me

>>2115857
Moral of the embarrassing fact: I was getting turned on by porn and didn't know.

Another example of me being turned on and not knowing was when grade 4 or 5, basic sex ed.

>>2115869
I agree it's tame, but it's still pretty embarrassing to me because I was so sheltered and didn't understand that it was probably a bit wrong.

>I thought they everyone penises.

I still think that.

I've never tasted chocolate milk in my life

I've never orgasmed conscious
One time I woke up at the end of an orgasm in my sleep, and that's the closest I've gotten to experiencing a conscious orgasm.
Made out with a girl who had just got done puking
I used to piss and shit myself up until the age of 7 or something
I'd fuck a trap if I had the chance
One time I was really drunk (14 drinks in 3 hours or so) and I pulled out my dick in front of one of my friends and pissed all over his floor.

i'm a massive fucking beta who doesn't get any respect from anyone and i hate it

the secret is that i freely acknowledge this

>>2116025
Easy to fix.....

>>2116034
oh god i lol'd at that last part.

I like cocaine

SWEET SWEET POWDA

>I thought they everyone penises.

Why can't I stop laughing at this holy shit

>I thought they everyone penises.
I need this printed somewhere

>>2116034
Dude, I'd totally fuck a trap if she looked feminine enough.
But I'm totally repulsed by the thought of a guy sexually.

I constantly fantasize in my head that I can be like this harpy superhero and I'm going to prevent an up coming apocalypse.
And winning a guy's heart in the process

Dispite want to be a hero, I don't think I love my brother and sister and I don't want to watch over them when I get older (they're mentally disabled). Even if they are at a home I want them out of my life. They're the main reason why I don't want to teach for a living or have children or even work with them
Makes me angry at myself, I feel ashamed

>>2115017
Shit, dude. That's not a problem. I've fucked more girls than I'd like to admit and I've not once heard a girl complain.

In grades 10 through 12, I masturbated in the school bathrooms They probably would have found it at least once a week. My typical Friday-afternoon math class played out as follows:
>Stare at pretty slut for 10 minutes
>Excuse self from class
>Spend 20 minutes trying to fap in a bathroom stall, which was difficult due my reliance on pornographic visual aid
>Return to class
>Teacher asks what took me so long
>Lie that I was wandering the halls playing hooky, sometimes resulting in detention
>Hate myself and what I had become

I also followed hot girls up stairs, trying to get my face as close to their asses as possible. They eventually caught on and began avoiding me, but I kept doing it whenever possible. Of course, it didn't help that I was (and still am) an obese neckbeard who never spoke to them.

I wasn't potty trained until I was 5. The day after I was potty trained was the first day of kindergarten.

I used to be morbidly afraid of stickers, and most sticky things. Now they just make me want to vomit.

I have an imaginary friend who I've spoken with for 6 or so years now. I've done it so long that it's habitual and very vivid. I can speak with it and receive automatic responses, hold conversations with it, and if I focus, I can almost force myself to see it.

Like other people here, I can't drive. Ever since I was in high school, my sister said she would teach me. She took me to a parking lot once and let me drive around a bit. That's all my experience. I live in a small town, and there is no sort of public transportation whatsoever. Not sure how I can fix this problem, as there is nobody in this town who can teach me.

Do I win anything?

>>2116243
Fuckin' typos. Ignore "They probably would have found it".

>I can barely swim
>I spend 95% of my weekends and holidays inside
>I once went full beta phaggot on a girl and photo-shopped a pic from her Facebook and created complimentary words out of it.
I was deep in the friendzone on that lasat one

>I didn't know what a scrotum was until I was 16
>Go to general doctor for yearly physical.
>Doc checks genital area.
>"everything is fine, it just seems that you have a little fluid in your scrotum which is very normal"
>have no idea what the hell he's talking about, just nod and act like I understand
>afterwards people asked me how my appointment went
>casually tell grandma, parents, friends that I have fluid in scrotum
>all while still not knowing what it is
When I found out later on I was pretty dumbfounded.
I put work into this post. Someone better read this shit.

>>2116243 here.
>Can't tie my shoes
>Can't ride a bike
>Can't swim
>Can't whistle
>Can't snap my fingers
>Can't drive

>>2114945
same. I still can't swim

>>2116344
I read it and was entertained.

>>2116243
That has me wondering, is it normal to fap at school on a regular basis?

> When I wake up in the morning in my nest of blankets and pillows, I wrap the covers around myself and say 'Nnnnyoooooo! Dun wanna geddup yet 'm sleepy!' (or some variation) and then I will thrash around on the bed, kicking my feet and burying my face in the pillow before curling up around my body pillow and sighing in contentment.

I am 6'2, 250lbs, live alone, male straight, and I also sleep with a purple heffalump[/spoiler[

lol the first time i fingered a girl i was fingering her urethra...

>>2116397
That's adorable.
I frequently forget to breathe. How do you forget to do an involuntary thing? I don't fucking know, but there have been times where I started to feel like shit, like I was about to pass out, and then I think, "Well, shit, it's been two minutes since I took a breath, hasn't it?".

>>2116411
I honestly have no fucking clue where the urethra is on a girl. That's another embarrassing thing.

>>2116377
Thank you good sir.
politenessblox

>>2116411
How the fuck did you manage to do that?

>18-19

Wow...I would think you would at least fucking google it or something.

I roleplay Sherlock on Omegle.

I gave my mom tongue.
I like IR porn too much.
I really like Kane and Lynch 1 & 2

>>2116344
>a 16 year old telling everyone he has fluid in his scrotum

I would have loved to see the faces after you said that.

>>2115385
>mfw I listen and sometimes dance to Fever FM music from Vice City.

>>2116397

Oh my fucking god. Lol'd so hard

>>2116512
Most of them slightly nodded and looked away. Followed by a prolonged silence. Then finally a forced change in topic. God that was so fucking weird now that I look back on it.

>>2115119
This is a lie. Adult diapers can't take a full pee.

I thought I pissed from the clit.
Also I thought that I pooped from the asshole, but diarrhea went through the vagina.
I though that when I was around 7, until later I didn't think about it, so I can't exactly say when I knew what was vagina for.
I wore diapers until I was about 5 or 6.
I wash my hair in the sink when I'm too lazy to take a shower.
I was totally retarded until about 13, later on(when I found out about 4chan), I actually realized what things I shouldn't do. Like attention whoring.
I sometimes spent hours plucking out my pubes. Holy shit how bad my back hurts after that.
I don't shower or change my clothes unless I go outside.
I think that butterflies are disgusting. And so are penises, vaginas, noses, ears, eyes, hair, everything else.
I used to take out tiny white worms out of my ass until I stopped having them at around age 12.
I want to mastrubate in a public restroom but I'm too lazy.
I can't wear t-shirts in public because I feel horribly uncomfortable. Just hoodies.
>>2115687
Oh god, I was molested the same way when I was about 10. Awkward.

>>2115129
One time, I mixed a marshmallow in mountain dew and pissed out thick white liquid. You should stop putting marshmallows in your carbonated beverages.

I have a terrible case of protracted hemmeroids, I have for years. There is no cure other than invasive surgery, and I won't set foot in a hospital unless I'm dying or already dead.
>MFW I can never be naked in front of anybody.

>>2116651
>I used to take tiny white worms out of my ass until I stopped having them at around age 12.
Oh god what

>>2116710
I'm serious, man.
Sometimes I would take a mirror, too.

I still pee in the bed from time to time. Not as much as I used to though. When I was 14 if I didn't take a piss before I went to bed it was a guarantee i'd have a wet bed the next morning. The I pee'd was about 2-3 weeks ago.
>I'm 24

I've never had an orgasm.
I can't figure out how to masturbate correctly, despite looking up countless how-to's and trying anything I could think of.

>>2116734
The ( last time) I pee'd

>>2116730
OH GOD ME TOO I HAD FORGOTTEN ABOUT THAT. Some kind of worms from eating rotten food, had 'em until I told a parent and got pills.

>>2116734
>>2116757
The last time you peed the bed or the last time you peed? If it's the latter, congratulations. You're dead.

When I have sex I can only stay hard by thinking about hentai

>>2116651
>I used to take out tiny white worms out of my ass until I stopped having them at around age 12.

Are you me? I used to have pinworms pretty badly at 11-12. I would take a shit and it would be crawling with them. If my asshole got itchy, I would stick my finger up there, and pull it out completely covered in white worms... I was a disgusting child.

I've had athlete's foot for 10 years now

I still don't know how to tie my shoes(18years old), I tried learning through YouTube videos but I just couldn't get it

>>2116793
In the bed bro, I knew r9k would harass me over a seemingly self explanatory statement.

>>2116245
Search for "tulpa creepypasta" if you haven't read it.

>>2116817
>*HURGPK*

>I thought they everyone penises.

oh god damnit

>tfw i don't have any embaressing secrets other than the fact that i'm a known poster on this website

>>2115084
>wet the bed until 13
>didn't start jacking off until 17
Are you me?

>>2116734
>>2116734
AS323Dfsg

Dfgae

>I know that feel bro

I have masturbated to other girls masturbating.

I have a flap of skin between my vagina and anus, and I think my vagina is horrifying to look at.

It's one of the reasons I'm a virgin.

>>2116245
You have a Tulpa. Congratulations, everybody on /x/ is now jelly. They always try to make those things.

>>2116843

What sort of mental deficiencies have you been diagnosed with?

I used to laugh at the waifu and husbando fags that pop up all over here. But then I saw The Lorax, and now I feel the most intense physical and emotional attraction I've ever felt in my life, and it's because of a Dr. Seuss character that was originally a pair of goddamn hands.

I'm scared I'll never find a man in real life that I love as much as him.

>>2116936
I'm a guy and I think that's actually kinda cute. I've seen porn where the girl has that.

>>2116973
>>2116936
Wait what? What do you mean? Isn't there supposed to be skin between that?

>>2116970
None, I just can't seem to get the hang of tying the fuckers together. The only time I feel really bad about it is when I'm in public and I have to tuck in the laces.

I usually never wash my hands after peeing. I mean, christ, you don't even have to touch anything besides your underwear to wriggle your fuckin dick out. Although, that's not really what troubles me. When I'm peeing and there are some people within earshot of the bathroom, I turn the water on to make it seem as if I washed my hands... In public restrooms, I wash my hands when others are also at the sink, or able to actually see me...

The high point of my day is coming home to watch more anime. I only like the kawaii stuff, like K-ON! and Yuru Yuri

My penis is only 5 inches long ;_;

I blame the fact that I don't have a life was because moved to a new school around 7th grade. Not having a cell phone, I communicated with 2 girls (I'd say one was 7/10, the other was 9/10) by house phone.They had been my friends since 1st grade, and we got along like best friends. They both told me they liked me a lot, and when the 9/10 asked me out I declined because I didn't want a long term relationship. As time went on, and the more forever alone I got, I started imagining what life had been like if I didn't have to move. Me and the girl I love would be the dating high school sweethearts, and eventually we would get married. I still believe that we would have married if I hadn't moved.

I shower twice a day and I still smell like shit at the first sign of sweat. I like to hug people but I hardly do most of the time. Nothing works. I hate my body so much. That smelly person that sits next to you on the bus? Yep, they're fully aware of what they smell like and they feel bad you have to mouth breathe the whole ride.

I'm 5'7" and 80kgs. Still losing weight slowly but surely
I'm a woman

>>2117022
none my ass. you are clearly mentally retarded, which is par for the course on this fail board.

>>2116936
>my vagina is horrifying

That's normal, my dear.

>a flap of skin

That, I can't be too sure of.

uglyvajayjayblox

>>2117079
How does not being able to tie my shoes imply I have to have some sort of mental deficiency?

i eat my own hair. from pretty much everywhere except my asshole.

>>2115388

i also have done that when i had panic attacks, when i was on high school

you are not the only one dude

>>2117091

It's not terribly extensive or anything, it just looks (from what I can tell) like loose skin. I can stretch it maybe an 3/4 inch at most above where it just rests naturally between my vag and anus.

.__. I always wondered if I could get it surgically removed or something.

>>2114614
I don't know what my vagina looks like, I don't shave and I've never seen it.

>>2117069
if you lose the weight but still smell, just know that some men out there like a strong smelling woman.

I can't stand all the perfumes and fragrances some of the women I have dated cover themselves with.

I once licked my ex's armpit after a run. She couldn't fathom the idea of me being attracted to her sweaty stink, but it happens.

>didn't think girls had sex before 18 years old
>thought high school drinking parties were a myth
>didn't know people hung out on a regular basis...

>>2117106
are you even aware of what you're saying? i realize that this is all you've ever known, and that you, as a retard, are likely doing the best that you can. but that just makes you even more pathetic.

inability to perform such a simple, mindless task is part of the very definition of possessing some serious mental deficiency.

I wet the bed till i was a freshman
It's not like i had phychological problems, I was just a really deep sleeper and it was next to impossible to wake me up
My family brings it up as a low blow in arguments and it kills me

>>2117161
I haven't tied my shoes in like 2 years.

just tried it, was easy as shit.

I love being smarter than a tard.

It sounds edgyasfucklolxD but I plan to guilt my mom for eternity by, the day I move out, leaving a letter in her bedroom. I will tell her every terrible thing I had to come into contact with and everything I've had to learn the hard way, and every terrible thing I will do and learn, and I will beg her to tell me why she didn't just abort me. Once she reads the letter I will be long gone and I won't expect to see her for quite some time.

>>2117138
> I can stretch it maybe an 3/4 inch
Wot...

>>2117191
While not conclusive in and of itself, regularly wetting the bed at an older age (anything above 10, really) is usually seen as an indicator of some deeper underlying psychological problem.

>>2117161
So because I can't tie my shoes I'm automatically retarded?

I would love to date a bed wetter. I love me some insecure girls who I can train.

you just need to invest in a few extra sets of bed sheets.

>>2117231
it's a pretty fucking strong indicator.

>>2117069
That might be more serious than you think. I've heard of people who smell no matter what they do due to some kind of hormone or glandular issue. Have you tried talking to you doctor about it?

>>2117247
Lots of girls wet the bed when they get too drunk. Pick any sorority girl at random and there's a good chance she's a "bed wetter"

i would always finish my test first in class. so sometimes when i was finished and everyone was still taking their test i would fap in class.

>>2117256
So should I go to my counselor on Monday and tell her I'm retarded and should have been in special Ed these past 12 years? Should I try to sue cause the schools didn't realize I was retarded and put me in normal classes?

I flunked out of my first college and nearly flunked out of a CC as well, just never went to class or did assignments and was even too lazy to withdraw from classes after I applied.

I still pick my nose.

I enjoy watching MLP

I don't know how to swim

I almost never watch porn

I have a huge foot fetish

>>2115022
I'm not alone ;_;
I'm just waiting to watch my body fall apart in the mean time.

Marfan'sblox

>>2117289
So do I. And I eat it.

>>2117306
I knew this was r9k but I still didn't want to go that far and say that.

Do you eat your eye boogeys too?

>>2117280
hahaha, look at this tard get his jimmies rustled! umad?

however, on a more serious note (since i do feel rather sorry for you), "retarded" probably isn't the technical term. consult your local psychologist for a proper diagnosis.

>>2117161

lol

I'm not the guy you're responding to, but I have the same problem. I'm 20 and I cannot tie my shoes...no joke.

I can make pseudo knot ties, but the process for some reason confuses the fuck out of me and I never figured the proper way to do it.

If it helps you get more sleep at night by calling me "retarded", well then...more power to you. But I graduated high school early, I get mostly A's in college now, I got a score of 125 on an IQ test, (and I'm also captain of my football team, shit was so cash)...not but for reals-not saying that these areas are indicative of intelligence in entirety (especially GPA ). I have also passed three semesters of college level calculus, two semesters of physics, and I'm in my second semester of organic chemistry now...and I haven't gotten any grade less than A. And most people will tell you these are some of the more difficult undergraduate classes.

But I still can't tie my shoes properly. HA!

I have been diagnosed as having a mild form of autism, that may have something to do with it.

>>2117314
>Do you eat your eye boogeys too?

Naw dude. That's fucking gross. They taste like shit.

>>2117270
>>2117270

Not him (weird that there's two of us) but for me part of it is that they 'know' it happens and it's common. Doubt many girls even really drunk wet ALL the time. For me there are a lot of ways I'd find it hot:

>she does it in her sleep and wakes up embarrassed because it happened 'again'
>she wakes up in the middle of the night and just goes and goes back to sleep without me knowing
>while we're falling asleep she mentions she really needs to pee and curls up against me or puts a leg over me and says "I'm just going to go here, okay?"

>>2117315
Will do. In the meantime however since I'm a tard and you seem to be a specialist, why have I been able to do everything normal boys and girls?(with the obvious exception of tying my shoes)

>>2117153
That's oddly comforting, anon.

>>2117265
I have not seen a doctor, I've considered it but it seemed a bit weird approaching the GP because I stink so bad. I suppose I should check it out. Thanks for the suggestion!

i have a diaper fetish

>>2117324
Hey dude I'm the first guy that can't tie his shoes we should start up a support group for people who can't tie their shoes cause apparently that In itself qualifies you as having a mental deficiency.

>>2117339
Plenty of sorority girls wet the bed at regular intervals. They don't seem to give one single fuck.

>>2117369
If that doesn't stop some robots from putting the pussy on the pedestal, I don't know what else will.

>>2117289

Me too... And I never get sick... I like to think the repeated exposure to the shit inside my nose helps my immune system.

>>2117369

Have you had a lot of experience with this?

>>2115087
>Regularly have an auditory hallucination that sounds like a giant swarm of winged bugs flying by

o shit nigger. I have that too. When it first started happening I couldn't sleep.

I never learnt to share. My brother and sister don't speak to me, and I don't blame them.

>>2117069

I actually find women that smell attractive

>>2117349
>fatass mom has smelly sores and blisters all over her legs
>nurses tell her they've smelled much worse

Don't worry about it. BO is probably a light perfume to them.

>>2117406
A lot of experience in terms of sorority girls telling me about how often they piss the bed when they drink, yes.

>>2117439

Stories? Do they often wet someone else's bed?

>>2117450
Usually they're pissing in their own bed, but sure.

lol, yeah.

they piss the bed when "drunk".

best cover story ever.

>>2117460

How does anyone ever sleep in their bed then? Even if they have protection that shit would be noticable and they'd be laughing stocks

>>2114860
>>2114860
I know that feel man. I never dated before but I don't know what to do if a guy brings to certain restaurant. I would have nothing to eat if it was an Asian one.

>>2114880
I'm a black guy and my penis is only 5 inches.

>>2117475
>that shit would be noticable and they'd be laughing stocks

No, that's just it. They don't give a single fuck. It's treated as completely normal in their scene. They talk about it openly. Sure, people laugh, but they're laughing with them. It's not ostracizing at all.

>>2117409
Brillliant. Simply brilliant.

If a man cannot forget he will never amount to much.
-Kierkegaard

>>2115022
>I'm unnaturally fast with my fingers/hands, which means I have a much higher ceiling for technical skill on musical instruments (Paganini, Rachmaninoff), but apart from that, there's no real benefit from it
>apart from that, there's no real benefit from it
Dazzle the ladies with your magic fingers. Or become a chiropractor. Or both.

>>2115002

don't know why but I lol'd
also

>fucking pillows is fun

>>2117495

Like rubber sheets and all that shit? What college do you go to? Be vague if you want.

I had my first kiss last year when i was 35. It obviously wanst really my first kiss but it felt the way guy in highschool must feel when kissing thier sweethearts the first time.

>>2115087
>>2117407
Shit, that happens to me too. I went to see the Hunger Games and I had a panic attack when the wasps were all over that one girl.

>>2115237
>I've been making a cum donut with one of those blank dvd case tops. When it gets full, I'm gonna sprinkle some food coloring on it, gift wrap it, write 'Fruitcake For The Cute Donut Shop Girl' on the wrapping, and leave it in front of the donut shop door early in the morning.
That's...amazing.
There was a thread earlier about fucked-up pranks, you would've been welcome there

I love to be pissed inside of my vagina, and peed on in general
It feels so good but I'm so ashamed because that's weird as fuck. and I asked my boyfriend to do it once and he was like "uuuh, ok.." and he didn't mind too terribly much but I'm too scared to ask again and probably never will

>>2117526
Nah, I think they just wash the sheets and sleep somewhere else until it doesn't smell. The only ostracism that really comes with it is that someone who does it frequently might be told by another girl that she's not allowed to sleep in her bed anymore.

college in ohio, why?

>>2117412
No you don't

>>2117414
Duly noted

>>2117548

I would gladly piss in your vagina.

>>2117478
>>2117478
>I never dated before but I don't know what to do if a guy brings to certain restaurant. I would have nothing to eat if it was an Asian one.
Would fucking love to date a girl like you, except I doubt an attractive one exists.
Dates/paying for dates/dating confuses the life out of my and brings forth the emergence of my spaghetti cannon, even though I'm completely personable and normal

I throw up after about 4 shots of vodka.
I fuck myself in the ass with a dildo regularly.
I have a castration fetish.
I don't know how to feed myself more than twice or so a day

>>2117551

That's pretty dirty if they're sleeping on the same stained mattresses. Breeds bed bugs unless it's cleaned. And just curious where this sort of shit happens.

>>2116494
>I gave my mom tongue.
Please elaborate. For research and development purposes, of course.

>>2117548

Drop me a line, that sounds awesome: throwaway44333@gmail.com

>>2117571
I don't know, maybe they clean the shit out of the mattress afterwards. I never really thought to ask. Pissing the bed has never been a problem for me, so I don't know all the details.

>>2117578

Fucking cloudflare email protection. Do bots really scrape 4chan for emails?

>Dressed in mom's clothing quite a lot as teenager
>Do anal a lot (not with guys, just shoving things in there)
>Don't like people at all (have always felt completely indifferent to them) but put myself through talking with them because I don't want feel ostracized. Usually bland convos anyway

ITT: Some guy with a bedwetting fetish feeding some other guy with a bedwetting fetish bullshit so they can JO together

>>2117705
No fetish. I just mentioned that drunk girls wet the bed and people started asking me questions.

I have very little I wouldn't happily share with anybody given the appropriate situation.

However, there will probably never be an appropriate situation to reveal that I used to sneak into my little sister's room at night and feel her up or try to undress her. Sometimes she would wake up and I would make an awkward excuse for being in her room. I'm pretty sure she realized, but she never brought it up. It stopped after puberty passed, though the experience game me a raging incest fetish.

>In love with Tali from Mass Effect
>Closest thing I've had to a girlfriend was someone I asked out in grade 7, friends gave me shit for it, dumped her from pressure, bad times follow, massive cringe memory
>Very lonely, want a girlfriend so bad, but worried about being in a relationship because I'm terrified of breaking up with them (from grade 7 experience)
>Scared of being in a relationship I don't think will be long term (again breaking up fears)

>>2116488
>>2116488
>>2116488
>>2116488

I don't know if you're still in this thread, bro, but I roleplay John on Omegle. And I'm totally in it for the gay. Wonder if we've run into each other?

i have a list of people i'm gonna kill

when i get close to them i'm gonna play it like a joke right up until they are dead

to the best of my knowledge i have never met any of them in real life

I didn't learn to tie my shoes until 3rd or 4th grade.
It just never clicked on how I was meant to do it until then

I still suck my fingers

>I thought they everyone penises
I lol'd

I'm nearing twenty-seven years of age, and I still suck my thumb every night.

That's actually impressive. How you manage to avoid hearing the word vagina, doing a sex ed or biology class, seeing a sex scene in a film, ignoring bikini clad pictures of chicks without a bulge or just plain avoid sex or the female anatomy for nearly 20 years is impressive.

>Got really depressed one day and went to a brothel. Got a quite fat middle aged Indian woman. It was super awkward and I lay down on a dirty towel while she jerked me off. I came in about 10 seconds. It cost me a lot of money. There was a cum once policy.
>First time I had sex I couldn't get hard. I was kinda drunk so I vigorously pumped at my dick in front of her. Then we just made out for a while until she just asked me to stop.

I have testicular cancer. Untreated
I've had it for atleast 5 years, I'm not sure why I'm not dead yet, but I don't look forward to it

>rapidly approaching 28
>can't sleep without this blue puffalump I've had since I was really young
>carry it around the house with me too
>rub the ears against my cheeks and lips, I love the texture of the fabric
>male

31 year old man, and i still pick my nose and eat the boogers

sure, the concept sounds gross, but when you realize that nose snot is pretty much the same as spit from your mouth, only less moist, it's not really that awful a thing

i'm never going to get laid but fuck it

> i have a rash on the inside of my thigh from sweating and itching there

> balls are scarred from itching

>>2118904
Do you carry it around town with you when you're running errands

>>2118937
You'll have better luck convincing people that pedophilia is normal

Wow, the whole "thought everyone had a penis" thing that seems to be way too fucking common here, didn't any of you go to kindergarten or something? I remember running naked a lot in the summers, and so did the girls. No one even had to tell me about our different junk, I saw it when I was fucking 4.

>>2118975

No, thank god, I'm not quite that far gone. But the second I get home I go get it again.

I don't think I need to say that I live alone.

I don't know how to masturbate.

I masturbated the first time when I was 17. This was the same age when I pulled back my foreskin for the first time (phimosis). Man, had I been missing out.

>>2116411
i don't know where the urethra is on a girl either

mfw i go to finger a girl for the first time.

>>2115022

That's not what Marfan syndrome is.

>>2119060
same age here on the foreskin thing.

i freaked out because I couldn't get it back over again and thought it would make my helmet fall off.

I often crap my pants just a little because I'm too lazy to shit and sort of enjoy the feeling of needing a shit and squirming around on my chair.

I didn't even think about what boys had under the pants until I was 12 and had hit puberty. The internet taught me the rest.

>>2119120
Haha, it stuck for me as well. Glad to know I wasn't the only one.

>>2119060
>>2119120
Guys you never had phismosis. It's normal for the foreskin to be unable to retract until early or late teens. It's part of puberty.

>>2119137
But it didn't happen by itself, I decided to force it and stretched a lot.

>When I was 13 used scalding hot water to masturbate because it made me orgasm instantly, which usually took 30 minutes to an hour otherwise.
>Stopped when I found the vibrate function of the xbox controller and a certain desert planet on KoTOR
>think my vag is actually burned from it

can't swim
can't ride a bicycle
can't dance

>>2119143
Yea thats the natural part, that is it happening itself, you never notice how boys starting puberty are CONSTANTLY FIDDLING WITH THEIR DICK

>>2119152
>can't dance
nigga everyone can dance

just throw yourself around in time to some music, and do it with alcohol in you

>>2115091
>>2116034
>>2116738

My first orgasm was at age 18, i started fucking at age 15 like a hoe.

I eat my buggers

I love watching shemale porn.

I also tried diapers when in period. Wear tampons, sista.

>>2116971
I know exactly what you mean, sis. Closet fujoshi for well over a decade now.

Also I don't know how to ride a bike. I'm just super clumsy in general.

>>2119152
I'm the same but I don't have any problem admitting it

I still have no driver license.
yet I don't need one and have no money for a car either.

Girls do have penises man,the whole vagina thing is just a meme

I grew facial hair to hide the fact that I look like my mother who has extremely feminine looks.

>Read explicit fiction online but don't masturbate or anything. Never have and I'm 18 now.
>Female, if it matters.

while fapping, I sometimes kiss facepics of cute girls on my monitor

>dislike great songs on youtube so people talk about me in the top comments

I study at a top-five world university and I thought babies really came out of women's stomachs, like, ripped their way out and had to get sewn up again.
My girlfriend and her housemates took the piss mercilessly, spaghetti everywhere.

Cant grow real facial hair at 19. Low test beta male who isnt too interested in sex, altho after years of working out and being somewhat of a douche people think Im alpha as fuck.

Dolls freak me out. I almost had a panic attack while reading through a Furby thread on /x/ even though I knew most of the stories were fake.

phimosis and fordyce spots.

yup

I thought girls pissed out their ass til I was 10. I thought that was bad,fuck sake guys..

I thought women pissed out of their vaginas up until I was like 16. Moment of realization was fucking mindblowing

>>2119152
>can't ride a bike
I thought once you're older than say 13 years old you should be able to ride a bike easily without past experience.

I piss out my window because the bathroom is too far.

>>2119371

same with me, but i ain't no douche nor am i really working out

>>2119426
At 16, my girlfriend thought she did until I asked her specifically. She had "never thought about it before."

At every night I hug my pillow and pretend it's someone. I do that since child.
;_;

>>2117324

If you're so smart, why don't you learn to tie a knot?

I could read before I could ride a bike.
A few years after that, I stopped wearing laced shoes because the effort of tying them pissed me off.
After that, I went back to wearing them because I couldn't get the velcro to be tight enough.
I tried masturbating and fucking before I could get hard.
Haven't tried fucking since I could.

Didn't realise til i lost my virginity than guys had just the one scrotum. Thought it was two separate sacks.

mfw i was a third year med student.

>>2116651
>I thought I pissed from the clit.
I used to think that too.

Then one day I actually looked and thought "Oh."

>>2119575
>I could read before I could ride a bike.
How is that embarassing?

I'm not as bad or sheltered as a lot of the people in here, but i do have those spots on my dick and i'm pretty self concious about them and i'm really scared of a girl finally noticing and being disgusted, though none ever have.
I have a lot of weird fetishes like i'd love to be pissed on from a girl. I really want to ask a partner to do it but i think its too weird and they'd disown me or break up with me or something.
I want to find a girl who can squirt and just get her to squirt all over me, that would be the hottest thing ever. I'd definitely fuck a hot shemale, and let her fuck me, but i'm not gay. And i'm a little obsessed with rim jobs and stuff.
I still pick my nose and eat it (18)

All my friends know me as a huge horror fan.

Up until I was 13 horror films scared the piss out of me, I only started watching them because I love violence and gore.

My whole life I've had this thing going in cycles where every few months before I fell asleep I would get terrified a ghost is going to come into my room for weeks on end. I start imagining fucked up faces and can't stop.
Slept in my mum's bed with her until I was eleven because of this.

It's embarrassing but everycunt knows

>my mum told my friends that I had a big dick
>"bigger than his dad's"
>"darker too"

On the one hand its a compliment - I have a bigger cock than my dad. On the other hand it came from my mum. I can't brag about it. Also "darker"? What the fuck?

Still though. Big dick.

>>2119989
dicks? how do they work

>Got beaten up by three girls in high school
>Still masturbate to the memory of it

I have CAIS. I didn't know the reason why the doctor wanted me to shove dildo into me starting at age 13 until they decided to finally reveal it me when I was 16. That was, my vagoo needed to be stretched in order to gain depth, or else I was never going to have regular sex. And they told me the entire thing about CAIS's, about not being able to have periods, the "hernia surgery" I had when I was 10 was actually to remove my testicles, never able to have children, etc. I haven't stretched my vagoo since then and have been pissed off at the medical profession and my parents for hiding something like that from me when they could've been upfront and honest to begin with. It's not that I'm mad about what I got, it's just that they hid it from me.

>>2120512
Soooo . . . you're basically a normal woman who doesn't bleed and can't get knocked up? Sounds good to me.

my penis has a downward curve when erect, feels bad man. im considering jelqing alot to straighten it more

>17
>balding
>back pains, terrible posture
>tinnitus is getting worse

shit sucks

>>2119575
learning to read before being able to ride a bike isn't uncommon at all.

>>2120512
Genes are fucking crazy, tbf though, how do you explain that to a kid?

I have Pearly Penile Papules, the only person who knows about it is my ex-girlfriend, I didn't even know what it was until I stumbled into a thread on /b/ years ago.

I don't know, I don't really have anything I'm embarrassed about.

I guess that I suck my own dick most people would be grossed out by but really it's just advanced level jerking off.

>use to be a coke head a long time ago
>19 year old highschool dropout
>have a shitty job with inconsistent work schedule so i can never save up for music gear
>still live with my parents
>stay isolated from the rest of society
>i use to be irresistible to girls like 3-4 years ago but now i cant get a date for shit.
>moved from California to shithole a year or so ago.
>always depressed and to subside it i act obnoxious
>always thought about committing suicide but im too much of a pussy to do it.

>>2120615
yeah...i learned to read when I was 5. Is it embarrassing to not be able to ride a bike before 5??

I dont think so. It probably is to still not be able at 18. I dont feel embarrassed it though really.

I'm scared of learning how to drive (19 now).
I'm kissless.
I have a phobia of really tall things, like giant statues.
I'm obsessed with how I smell after a friend made
fun of my smelly clothes.
My mom still organizes my outfits and occasionally still combs my hair.
I wanted to be the opposite sex when I was about 10-15.
I tried to kill myself at 9 by tying a belt around my neck.

I was dyslecix as a kid, although my reading level was always a couple years ahead, I never learnt the full alphabet in the right order.

I can get up to like P then I dont know how it goes..

Also cant swim

Also cant ride a bike

>>2120712
>I was dyslecix as a kid
>dyslecix
my sides

Had extremely much sex with my cousin, probably over a thousand times.

> Three years younger than me, she is so cute, and her ideas are so hot, there is no way to fight them.


Suspect I might be a pedophile as older girls, or girls my age do not turn me on.

The only ones who does so are younger (11 and down) and my female cousin (Since I've been doing her since she was 8 years old).


Also, the only computer I ever had is a 4 year old laptop (bought it 2008), before that I used my fathers laptop.

>>2120806
You best greentext us a story nerd

>>2120806

So how fucked up did your cousin turn out?

>>2120866

She is a bit bitchy, but still a sweet person when around family.

I am disappointed in how she turned out.

> Typical alpha girl, succeeded socially because of her looks
> Sex has become less frequent
> She feels sorry for me as I am getting more beta by the day
> Pity sex, kissing etc
> Jealous whenever she talks with other boys

>>2120812

As you wish;

> Been working hard all summer
> Get enough cash to buy a computer
> Dad and guy at the store wants me to have a Desktop, I want a laptop
> They tell me I will be disappointed as laptops will never match desktops
> 1 year later, actually learn something about technology
> Gets mad at my self

>>2114916
know that feel bro. i dont even want to hit on girls because i dread having to explain this.

I read a LOT of gay fanfiction.
Although a few of my irl friends know this, but they're also fangirls, so my secret is safe.

>I asked my mother if she and dad had ever had sex before
>I was 13
>that was the day I learnt how babies were made

I used to pee myself on the way home from school because I didn't like using the school toilets, this happened till I was about 15. Now I have a bit of problem where I don't realize I need to go till it's a bit too late.

>>2114988
>>2114949
HAHAHAH kill yourselves!

I always get dry flaky skin on my penis and the skin bleeds sometimes

I already know the cause
Excessive masturbation, cutfag and I don't use lubricant

I have chlamydia from my ex.
I only tell it here since I know it will 404 even if its for some explicable reason archived I'm still anon.
Its too embarrassing to tell irl I will take it with me to the grave.
To ease your minds I will not be with anyone so it will not spread any further from my part at least.

I have an imaginary friend who I've had since I was about 12.
Me and my friend both had one, as we admitted to each other once at a sleepover.
From then on they would often interact with each other, although we couldn't talk directly to each other's imaginary friend.
Sometimes there were several other imaginary friends, but we only really had one 'main one' each.
They were both from some sort of other world or place, and sometimes had to go back there, but they always came back to us. I don't know if my friend still has her's.
If I focus enough I can half see/hear him, but it makes me sad because he's not as vivid as he used to be.
I don't want him to leave me, he's the only real friend I've got now.

I'm 24 and have zero facial hair.

When people ask I just lie and say it shave lots because I don't like having a beard.

I actually think facial hair looks cool and wish I could grow some.

I'm a Katawa Shoujo fag. I even write fanfiction and listen to the soundtrack cause it's eargasmic.

I almost wish I could tell my friends.

>>2121387
Im 21 and mine grows really uneven and spread out, wish i could grow santa beard...

>>2117360

hey me too :)

i have a diaper fetish yipeekayay motherfucker.

if one of your friends told you they had a fetish for girls in diapers what would you do?

I've never told anyone; but my family knows :(

When I wasn't true to myself, I had a lot of friends and mutual romantic interests.

When I got true to myself, I turned into a lone wolf. I'm just too weird to allow myself to be around other people.

My biggest fear is falling in love with someone and it turns out they're abusive, mental/insane, a pedophile or something equally as weird, to me. This is such a fear that I have dreams about it and wake up screaming..

I always suck my fingers after I masturbate because my pussy juice tastes like mashed potatoes.

>>2121506

That's hot.

I would like to lick you out.

I used to think women had two vaginal openings. One towards the front and one at the back.

Didn't know how to tie my shoes until I was 18.