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  • New [old] boards: /r9k/ /pol/ /hc/, and introducing /diy/~

    In other news, posting issues should be resolved now. Some extra goodies arriving in a few weeks, so look for more improvements in early November!

    –Sigourney

    File : 1319809494.jpg-(100 KB, 610x526, irhfdlhos.jpg)
    100 KB Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)09:44:54 No.145050  
    Oh god, oh GOD.

    Fucking hell. He could've at least put his status as "away" or something!
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)09:47:06 No.145071
    His mom is probably calling the fucking police now.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)09:47:10 No.145072
    o u done now op
    >> lokiツ !!s0u/PCz1YUj 10/28/11(Fri)09:47:44 No.145078
    suicide is the only answer now
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)09:51:41 No.145120
    She wants to fuck, OP.

    mootbloxunoriginalblahblahwhatever
    >> Captain Hook !!IuTXoKZpCDk 10/28/11(Fri)09:53:58 No.145144
    Who cares, parents know kids have sex, if she doesn't hate you who gives a fuck.
    Also if you're not underage or your boyfriend isn't underage it REALLY doesn't matter.
    >> OP 10/28/11(Fri)09:53:59 No.145145
    What the fuck do I DO

    I can't think of anyway to undo this oh god
    >> OP 10/28/11(Fri)09:55:31 No.145156
    >>145144
    I'm 19, my boyfriend just turned sixteen. I'm fucked.
    >> Captain Hook !!IuTXoKZpCDk 10/28/11(Fri)09:56:36 No.145168
    >>145156
    Pedo.
    In all seriousness that does make the situation a bit different. Suppose it depends on what kind of person she is.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)09:57:03 No.145170
    >>145156
    yeah dude you really are you should probably kill your self now
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)09:57:07 No.145171
    So you're a dude, right?

    Why do you go for dicks and not pussies?

    Just...why?
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)09:57:21 No.145173
    >>145156
    thats hoooot. younger dudes are a fucking major turnon, im a little jelly
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)09:57:39 No.145175
    OP has a gay conversation and his mom found out
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)09:58:07 No.145177
         File1319810287.jpg-(36 KB, 207x472, death_shrugg.jpg)
    36 KB
    Post this on /co/ because it's vaguely related... they'll laugh... and lolidunno. You're fucked OP.
    >> Captain Hook !!IuTXoKZpCDk 10/28/11(Fri)09:58:19 No.145181
    >>145171
    Why do you go for pussies and not dicks?
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)09:59:15 No.145192
    >>145156
    Make casual conversation with his mom.
    >So, how do you feel about your son's sexuality?
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)09:59:18 No.145193
    >>145050
    >fucking
    >fucking
    >fucking
    >fucking
    >fucking
    It's really like I'm 12 again.
    >> Iceman 10/28/11(Fri)09:59:32 No.145196
    >putting comics ahead of sexual satisfaction

    I like you style, friend.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)09:59:43 No.145197
    >>145181

    Because the penis is designed to go into the vagina.

    >what is biology
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)10:00:17 No.145204
    >>145050
    >>145050

    >complaining about 25 dollars

    What are you, poor?

    fucking pathetic
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)10:00:22 No.145205
    >>145181
    Hey your name seems familiar, are you that guy with the long hair who has camwhored in the past?
    >> Captain Hook !!IuTXoKZpCDk 10/28/11(Fri)10:00:52 No.145210
    >>145197
    So the only reason you go for vaginas is because your penis is meant to go in a vagina? No other reason at all?
    well ok then carry on.
    >> Captain Hook !!IuTXoKZpCDk 10/28/11(Fri)10:01:23 No.145215
    >>145205
    Yes.
    answeringyourquestionblox
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)10:01:39 No.145220
    >>145204
    It's a woman apparently. Or a homosexual pedophile. Did you expect any different?
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)10:01:46 No.145221
    19 and 15/16? At least you'll enjoy all the gay sex that goes on in jail.
    >> HSV !5E9JCwFdVs 10/28/11(Fri)10:02:06 No.145224
    >>145168
    >Pedo.

    I hope you just used that as an random insult and not seriously called him a pedo for liking a 16 year old.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)10:03:05 No.145232
    >>145210
    > No other reason at all?

    The male brain is programmed to be attracted to females.

    There's really nothing I can do about it, sorry bro.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)10:03:51 No.145240
    >>145220
    >It's a woman apparently.

    Are you incapable of understanding the chat log and infering their genders?
    >> Captain Hook !!IuTXoKZpCDk 10/28/11(Fri)10:04:21 No.145241
    >>145224
    It was a joke.
    Liking a 16 year old would be considered an Ephebophile.

    >>145232
    >There's really nothing I can do about it, sorry bro.
    Just like they can't help liking cocks.
    Surprise.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)10:05:44 No.145253
    >>145215
    oohoohoo! *bats eyelashes*
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)10:06:11 No.145255
    ask for dp
    >> OP 10/28/11(Fri)10:06:13 No.145256
    >>145171
    Because I really, really like dick and I really, really like getting fucked by them.

    And "pussies" are weird looking and fleshy and gross and no. No.

    >>145173
    Their sex drive is INCREDIBLE. He could come in me and thirty seconds later be ready to go again.
    >> Iceman 10/28/11(Fri)10:06:45 No.145259
    >>145240
    Beyond the 16 year old boy toy? Yes. Were you magically able to deduce the sex of OP through your comprehension? If so, enlighten me.
    >> Captain Hook !!IuTXoKZpCDk 10/28/11(Fri)10:08:08 No.145268
    >>145253
    I thought you were going to get all buttmad at me or something. I seem to be getting a lot of that lately.
    >> Iceman 10/28/11(Fri)10:08:23 No.145270
    >>145256
    Disregard, then.

    And, hah, unless the mother is a up-right stank fool about this incident you fuck-relationship would've been terminated. I wouldn't worry about it. At all.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)10:08:42 No.145272
    >>145259
    He talks about being unsure if the lube would work since it's designed for straight couples, and mentions the person he's talking to being his boyfriend.
    >> Iceman 10/28/11(Fri)10:09:28 No.145277
    >>145268
    Hook, you were here like eight hours ago. I go to sleep and you're still here chilling.

    Dedication, man.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)10:09:39 No.145279
    >>145272
    That reminds me
    >being unsure if the lube would work since it's designed for straight couples
    Full retard, OP.
    >> OP 10/28/11(Fri)10:09:57 No.145282
         File1319810997.jpg-(16 KB, 248x155, ohno.jpg)
    16 KB
    Oh no

    For the record, going from the few times I've met her she seems like a nice lady, but she is also a hardcore catholic.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)10:10:32 No.145287
    >>145259

    Alright.

    >1) Needing lube
    >2) Worried because it might not work, due to the lube being for heterosexuals
    >3) Lesbians don't need lube (inb4 sex toys)
    >4) "Boyfriend's" mom

    Is it clear now, you imbecile?
    >> Captain Hook !!IuTXoKZpCDk 10/28/11(Fri)10:10:41 No.145290
    >>145277
    To be fair I went off and played a game for a few hours.
    It is 7am though, I should probably sleep.

    >>145282
    It could just be him trolling you.
    >> Iceman 10/28/11(Fri)10:11:27 No.145300
    >>145272
    I just assumed OP was being an over-dramatizing idiot. Or, you know, sharing an inside joke. Like, "hey, this is for actual couples it says so on the label but we're just fuck buddies tee-hee there is no relationship but I'm entertaining the thought tee-hee".

    Or, you know, I just lack adequate reading comprehension and get mad when people question something I couldn't even begin to understand what I was talking about.
    >> OP 10/28/11(Fri)10:11:51 No.145302
    >>145279
    It's KY Yours and Mine, man, that's why I was wondering. Designed for penis/vagina sensations.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)10:12:24 No.145306
    >>145282
    BE A MAN.
    GO IN THERE FULL FORCE AND TALK TO HER.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZSS5dEeMX64

    USE THIS SONG AS INSPIRATION
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)10:12:40 No.145313
    gays are garbage
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)10:12:41 No.145314
    >>145300
    >actual couples

    If this were the case, he wouldn't have mentioned the part about "heterosexual" couples.
    >> Iceman 10/28/11(Fri)10:13:00 No.145316
    >>145290
    West coast, bro?

    >>145287
    >lesbians don't need lube

    I assumed OP was daring female willing to try anal. But thanks for clearing it up.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)10:13:03 No.145317
    >>145302
    To be honest, she seems fine with it. She didn't respond with "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING WITH MY SON" or anything furious like that.
    >> Captain Hook !!IuTXoKZpCDk 10/28/11(Fri)10:13:37 No.145321
    >>145316
    Yes indeed.
    California sure sucks.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)10:14:05 No.145324
    >>145302

    >doesn't know that all lubricants are basically the same

    The only big difference is water-based vs silicon-based.
    >> Iceman 10/28/11(Fri)10:14:15 No.145327
    >>145314
    My mind glossed right over that. Thanks for clearing it up.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)10:14:46 No.145337
    >>145324
    Pro tip: Silicon is shit
    >> Iceman 10/28/11(Fri)10:15:18 No.145339
    >>145321
    Depends on where the action is. And if you have the funds to participate in said-action.

    Tell me you're down here in Los Angeles with the rest of the bros.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)10:15:22 No.145340
    >>145268
    oohoohoo! *waves handkerchief*
    >> Captain Hook !!IuTXoKZpCDk 10/28/11(Fri)10:17:46 No.145354
    >>145339
    Nope, I'm way up north.

    >>145340
    OKAY
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)10:19:26 No.145367
    >not understanding how lube works
    >not being able to understand OPs text

    This thread is full of half-wits.
    >> Iceman 10/28/11(Fri)10:20:07 No.145378
    >>145367
    It's early. Whaddya gonna do?
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)10:23:06 No.145410
    >>145378
    Don't blame the sun on this. The sun has nothing to do with your idiocy.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)10:24:00 No.145427
         File1319811840.jpg-(9 KB, 209x251, youlookniceisall.jpg)
    9 KB
    >>145354
    ...
    You look nice is all.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)10:24:34 No.145430
    OP, if there's a girl that's willing to take your place, you could get her to play off the whole heterosexual thing.
    >> Captain Hook !!IuTXoKZpCDk 10/28/11(Fri)10:24:59 No.145435
    >>145410
    The sun is a prick, a lot of what he does has to do with everyone's idiocy.

    >>145427
    You should probably get your eyes checked and worry about getting glasses instead of braces, Lisa.
    But thank you random anonymous person.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)10:27:16 No.145452
         File1319812036.jpg-(100 KB, 450x253, the sun.jpg)
    100 KB
    >>145435

    >not praising the sun

    Fucking filth.
    >> Captain Hook !!IuTXoKZpCDk 10/28/11(Fri)10:28:39 No.145465
    >>145452
    I'm still ashamed I killed him.
    So much so I made a new guy just to become a sunbro.
    >> OP 10/28/11(Fri)10:28:54 No.145468
         File1319812134.jpg-(49 KB, 489x266, ohgodthisisnt.jpg)
    49 KB
    I also just got a text from my boyfriend that says, "god g wtf did u DO", his mom called my house phone and I am running to Mexico.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)10:30:34 No.145485
    >>145468
    Have fun being charged with statutory, OP. Running will only incriminate you worse.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)10:30:51 No.145487
    OH goddamn OP, u stupid
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)10:31:06 No.145492
    You're fucked, OP, but more importantly, you are fucking pathetic. You sound like you're 12 years old and just discovered sex or something.
    >> Captain Hook !!IuTXoKZpCDk 10/28/11(Fri)10:31:20 No.145496
    >>145468
    sux2bu
    Have fun in prison or something.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)10:31:38 No.145498
    >>145468

    >that feel when /r9k/ troll OC being made

    Thanks, but it's kinda silly.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)10:33:50 No.145521
    omg that shit is SO FAKE brah
    >> OP 10/28/11(Fri)10:35:32 No.145536
    And by "running to Mexico" I mean "hiding in my room". I can hear my mom talking to his mom upstairs now. If this thread is still here after the storm and I'm not in jail, I'll tell you what happened. But I think jail is where I'm headed.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)10:36:40 No.145537
    >>145536
    >But I think jail is where I'm headed.

    Why does that bother you?

    You'll eb getting plenty of filthy gay sex.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)10:37:20 No.145545
         File1319812640.png-(251 KB, 500x370, tumblr_kp51xcwN5F1qa1urto1_500.png)
    251 KB
    /r9k/ is best board!
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)10:38:14 No.145552
    >>145468
    Why did you not say you were messaging the wrong person on accident
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)10:38:32 No.145554
    >>145435
    You're welcome pretty anony ^_^
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)10:38:37 No.145555
    >>145536
    can't you just tell your boyfriend to deny everything and delete the messages?
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)10:39:20 No.145560
    >>145521
    >>145498
    samefag detected

    You might not be destined for prison, OP. She might just be angry about not knowing, or because her son is gay/bi/whatever. My mom was the same when she found out I was gay, and there wasn't even any statutory rape involved (she called my boyfriend a pervert and let him know that they're waiting for him in hell) but calmed down after a few hours.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)10:39:24 No.145561
    >>145552

    He said his name, you goddamn imbecile.

    He can't just say "I meant another xyz" after texting that shit.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)10:39:50 No.145568
    >>145536
    GET OUT OF THERE OP.

    I don't know if it's a good idea to go over and talk to his mom. I mean, it sounds like the most terrifying idea, but maybe then she would be less likely to press any charges. Just lie about things and try to shift the blame off of yourself as much as possible (without seeming too much like you're blaming her son because she will hate that).
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)10:39:56 No.145570
    >>145560
    >samefag detected

    Are you incapable of doing a samefag check, summerchild?
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)10:41:26 No.145589
         File1319812886.jpg-(19 KB, 229x300, 1317344458069.jpg)
    19 KB
    >>145561
    I was asking that question for that exact answer because a lot of this thread is tl;dr. But, way to get confrontational for no reason.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)10:43:05 No.145604
    >>145570
    You think that's legit? You must be new.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)10:43:18 No.145608
    >>145589

    You didn't even need to read one single reply itt.

    The OP's pic answers your question.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)10:44:06 No.145616
    >>145604

    >thinking it's not legit

    Wow...
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)10:45:12 No.145623
    >>145608
    Chill, he doesn't say the name until the very end and it's blocked out. I read a lot of replies and that's why I forgot. It's also early as fuck and I just woke up twelve seconds ago
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)10:46:10 No.145626
    >>145623

    >blaming the sun again

    Fucking huns.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)10:46:31 No.145628
    >>145616
    it isn't. it hasn't worked for a year or so. however, your syntax seems very similar to that of OP, therefor it does seem likely you're a samefag.

    amusing troll thread, though.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)10:48:46 No.145640
    >>145468
    OH SHIT, YOU GOIN' TO PRISON, BITCH!
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)10:49:09 No.145648
    >>145626
    >2011
    >being mentally aware without drinking at least 2 cups of coffee

    I think you should just kill yourself with all that rage you have pent up instead of replying.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)10:50:25 No.145657
    >>145648
    >requiring coffee to wake up in the morning
    Plebian, use your pure manliness to get up.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)10:51:22 No.145666
    >>145648

    >being an inferior being which requires chemicals to function

    Fucking scum.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)10:52:13 No.145675
    Tell that fundamentalist bitch off op, and then get a friend of your to claim that he was just fucking with you and said all that shit on your account and that this was just a horrible misunderstanding.

    You can still get away with this op. Just make it over the top ridiculous and have a friend take the blame - then you can claim you never had a sexual relationship
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)10:53:46 No.145690
    >>145536
    Dude, you should seriously try to escape the country. Not even joking. Cross over into Canada and then take a boat to Alaska. Then from there bribe your way on board a boat and sail to Japan.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)10:54:52 No.145697
    Keep us updated op!
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)10:55:25 No.145700
    I'm the same age as you and I live in the UK, so if I wanted I could get my ass fucked by a 16 year old legally. Sucks to be you OP.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)10:55:42 No.145704
    >>145657
    Calling people plebs outside of /mu/

    I like your style
    What are you listening to right now?

    >>145666
    >being 12
    >being the devil
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)10:56:18 No.145711
    http://www.chanarchive.org/requests

    I'M LAUGHING MY FUCKING DICK OFF AT THIS THREAD!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)10:58:46 No.145731
    >>145704
    Japanese Techno shit. I don't go to /mu/ too often.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)11:01:15 No.145752
    >people thinking the OP is being serious

    Fake as fuck.
    No gay people come to r9k.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)11:02:20 No.145766
    >>145752
    lolol :3
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)11:02:36 No.145769
    >>145752
    oh u

    /r9k/isgayerthan/fit/blox
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)11:02:49 No.145771
    >>145700
    UK age of consent is 18 for poofters.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)11:06:23 No.145802
    >>145752
    NO ONE on /r9k/ is straight. NO ONE.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)11:08:23 No.145817
    Run the fuck away OP. Take your shit covered cock and run like mad. Dodge that bitch and start a new life as a bartender in suburban Venezuela.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)11:08:59 No.145821
    >>145817
    >shit covered cock

    but he's a bottom
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)11:08:59 No.145822
    >>145802
    Straightfag repportan
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)11:09:33 No.145827
    Isn't there some law about if you and the person you had sex with are at most 3 years apart in age then it's not against the law?
    >> OP 10/28/11(Fri)11:12:58 No.145849
    My mom just came downstairs and told me to get dressed because my boyfriend and his mom are on their way over and she's pissed.

    But also
    >>145156
    >my boyfriend just turned sixteen
    Fail on my behalf, he is sixteen, turning seventeen on Monday. Not sure how I didn't notice that earlier.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)11:14:14 No.145858
    >>145849
    Why haven't you hung yourself yet? Fucking film this shit man.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)11:14:35 No.145864
    >>145827
    Not in the UK.

    If somebody 18+ is sexually interacting with somebody below 16 then it's illegal.
    It's also illegal if somebody from 16-18 is sexually interacting with someone under 16, though the punishment is reduced.
    >> OP 10/28/11(Fri)11:15:05 No.145868
    >>145858
    My hands are shaking pretty bad, I'm not sure I'd be able to tie the rope right.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)11:15:20 No.145871
    >>145849
    SHIT NIGGA! ARCHIVE THIS MUTHAFUCKA!

    http://www.chanarchive.org/requests

    OP GOIN' TA JAIL, YA'LL! SHHEEEEEEEE-IT!
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)11:15:33 No.145873
    >>145868
    Set a camera up and film the argument...
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)11:15:58 No.145879
    OP if you're the bottom, technically he is the one fucking you.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)11:16:15 No.145882
    Tell her you were joking, and that the "trolling" part was about you two trolling each other with gay sex. And tell that little idiot of your bf to play along.
    Also, you should chose more intelligent people to literally fuck with next time.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)11:16:26 No.145884
    >>145868
    Rope? Just down a bottle of aspirin.
    That'll teach your parents for not accepting you.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)11:17:23 No.145892
    OP if you have any brain cells left delete everything on your comp. history especially
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)11:17:24 No.145894
    >>145871
    When they find out you're a fag they'll all gang rape you every single day. That might sound like fun for a homo (joking... sort of), but they'll also beat you literally within an inch of your life every time they rape you. Then they'll eventually beat you to death.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)11:17:31 No.145896
    You have no idea what coming out puts your parents through.
    It's the single most disappointing thing you put them through.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)11:17:57 No.145905
    >>145864
    But even then OP has nothing to worry about legally though, right? I mean his boyfriend's 16 and he's 19, so he didn't break any laws did he?
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)11:18:08 No.145907
    >>145896
    This

    Think of your father.

    "Make me proud son"

    lolcockinthebutt
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)11:18:21 No.145909
    >>145468
    >Woman in her 40s/50s
    >Knowing what trolling is
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)11:18:36 No.145910
    >>145873
    THIS! DO THIS, OP!

    muteblox, muthafucka cracka-ass bee-itch mofo
    >> brothersport !HurRIcAnEs 10/28/11(Fri)11:18:54 No.145914
    This wouldnt happen if you were straight and had a girlfriend you're age. Fucking faggot.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)11:20:15 No.145928
    >>145892
    OP, IF YOU NEVER TAKE ANY OTHER ADVICE FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE THEN AT LEAST LISTEN TO THIS. YOU NEED TO DELETE ALL HISTORY ON YOUR COMPUTER IMMEDIATELY. YOUR LIFE LITERALLY DEPENDS ON IT.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)11:20:33 No.145930
    >>145914

    >not having underage girlfriends

    Fucking pleb.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)11:21:16 No.145937
    Be brave OP. Time to face the consequences. Make sure to tell them you were the woman in the relationship. Maybe.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)11:22:05 No.145947
    good luck OP, if she hasn't called the cops yet I don't think she will.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)11:26:11 No.145975
    Keeping this alive in the event OP returns from being berated to an inch of death
    >> SteveTheAnon 10/28/11(Fri)11:29:41 No.146010
    Shit, OP.

    As a guy who has alot of experience having sexual relationships with older guys, I'm really shitting myself for you.

    Good luck.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)11:30:15 No.146015
    Here in Britain the age of consent for gay sex is 16. Trolololol.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)11:30:50 No.146021
    >>146015
    As it is with straight sex.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)11:31:42 No.146034
    THIS IS THE FUNNIEST FUCKING THREAD EVER!
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)11:31:45 No.146035
    What's it like knowing you'll always be a virgin OP?
    >> Rucks 10/28/11(Fri)11:32:42 No.146046
    >>146035
    >cant wait to feel you inside me again
    >virgin
    Pick one jackass.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)11:33:18 No.146052
    >>146046
    >homosexual
    >having sex with a female
    >ever losing his virginity

    Try again.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)11:34:06 No.146061
    >>146052
    Check. Mate.


    Meanwhile OP's being beaten by a crazed catholic.
    >> Rucks 10/28/11(Fri)11:34:10 No.146063
    >>146052
    >Implying you have to lose your virginity to a woman?
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)11:34:11 No.146064
    film the argument OP

    it is your duty as a robot
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)11:34:45 No.146067
    >>146063
    >I have no idea what virginity is

    It's always funny when homosexuals get butthurt.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)11:34:51 No.146069
    >>146052
    >implying gay sex is not losing your virginity
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)11:34:59 No.146071
    >>146063
    I think he's got you on this one dude, losing your virginity is penis in vag for longer than a certain amount of time.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)11:35:23 No.146076
    >>146063
    Women lose their virginity to men, men lose their virginity to women.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)11:36:36 No.146092
    >cant wait to feel you inside me again

    Technically OP is the one who got fucked. He sounds like a bottom/sub.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)11:37:08 No.146093
    >>145259
    >i mean it's designed for heterosexual couples

    Are you really this stupid?
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)11:37:36 No.146098
    >>146071
    No, it's having sex. Any kind of sex.
    >> SteveTheAnon 10/28/11(Fri)11:37:44 No.146101
    You do realise losing your virginity is entirely an emotional thing? You could lose you virginity to a pencil if you wanted.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)11:37:58 No.146106
    >>146098
    Look it up. It isn't.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)11:40:38 No.146142
    really? really? a 19 year old with a 16 year old seems normal, why are you americans so fat and crazy, calling the cops? going to jail? lol
    >> Rucks 10/28/11(Fri)11:41:10 No.146147
    >>146098
    >>146106
    >>146076
    >>146069
    Ok fair enough. Truce gentlemen? I apologise for my initial rudeness. Is OP still here?
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)11:43:09 No.146169
    >>146142
    legally the age of consent in the U.S is 18 thus technically the OP is commiting statuatory rape. In otherwords the mother can destroy him on her emotional whims
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)11:43:15 No.146173
    >>146147
    He's getting hauled off by the cops. You just KNOW that the kid's mom brought the police with her.
    >> Rucks 10/28/11(Fri)11:43:54 No.146178
    >>146173
    More than likely. What legal sentence you think he's gonna get socked with?
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)11:44:32 No.146184
    >>146173

    >thinking a troll can be hauled off

    On what grounds? Trolling /r9k/?
    >> SteveTheAnon 10/28/11(Fri)11:45:15 No.146194
    Someone really needs to find a way to make things like this not end up with jail time.

    OP did nothing wrong, they should jail his crazy religious mother. Or burn her. Or gas her.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)11:45:43 No.146198
    >>146194
    Or cut her tits off.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)11:46:40 No.146206
    >>146198
    >cut her tits off

    >implying she has breast cancer
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)11:46:50 No.146208
    >>146198
    And eat them
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)11:47:14 No.146211
    >>146206
    >Implying I am a sandwhich
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)11:47:23 No.146214
    >>146208
    Fucking idiot.


    Bake them first.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)11:47:52 No.146219
    >>146214
    I like my meat raw
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)11:48:19 No.146223
    >>146219
    Open wide.
    >> SteveTheAnon 10/28/11(Fri)11:48:26 No.146227
    >>146219

    Like I like my cock
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)11:49:07 No.146237
    >>145771
    Nope. Big protest in '97.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)11:49:14 No.146238
    OP WHERE'S THAT UPDATE???
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)11:49:31 No.146239
    >mfw I don't know if I'm homo or hetero because I'm a virgin and fap to both porn types
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)11:50:21 No.146252
    >>146239
    >that fucking feel.
    captcha: msoura Bone-in. I chuckled.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)11:50:34 No.146253
    OP is your Boyfriend's name Dilion?

    Just a question
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)11:51:36 No.146263
    >>145868
    Seriously, if you feel that you don't have any other options, you should an hero. Pills, a gun, jumping off a fucking bridge, whatever.

    I wouldn't usually suggest this, but you're in an interesting position where you could make an interesting impact. You'd make your boyfriend's mom feel terrible, and depending on how romantically involved with your boyfriend you are, you could make him commit suicide as well. Even if he doesn't you'll cause irreparable damage to their relationship.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)11:51:43 No.146264
    >>146238
    He's in a police car right now as we speak, dude.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)11:52:08 No.146265
    >>146253
    > Dilion

    Sounds like a typical name for a homosexual.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)11:52:38 No.146271
    OP is busy being fucked by his boyfriend and the mother
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)11:52:58 No.146273
    >>146271
    This

    Bitch wanted some cock.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)11:53:14 No.146276
    OP cant update from the [spoiler]party van[/spoiler]
    >> SteveTheAnon 10/28/11(Fri)11:53:25 No.146277
    Is your boyfriend called George Takei?

    Typical homosexual name
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)11:53:33 No.146281
    >>146169
    It's actually 16 in most states.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ages_of_consent_in_North_America

    I hope it is where OP lives. Assuming he's an Eaglelander.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)11:57:30 No.146318
    That is fucking marvelous. OP, i can't stop laughing at your misfortune. But in all seriousness, that's horrifyingly bad news. I don't know what i would do in that situation. If you're not dead / hauled off by the cops. Perhaps you and your boyfriend can.. talk to her? I dunno, but i think the chances of you seeing your boyfriend again are PREEEEEETTY slim.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)12:00:39 No.146345
    Won't the judge be lenient on OP and not give him jail time?

    (or is America as buttfuck insane as the rest of the world thinks it is)
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)12:01:57 No.146359
    >>146345
    My money's riding on them being as butfuck insane as everyone thinks they are.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)12:03:09 No.146367
    >>146345
    If they choose to prosecute he's fucked
    (the system is as batshit insane as you think it is)
    hell he could be labeled a sex offender which the the worst punishment
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)12:03:23 No.146370
    >>146345
    I don't think OP will get any time, if the age in his state is 16 like most places, but his bf's mom isn't likely going to let him date anymore....

    People like this are why I want to move to Europe.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)12:03:42 No.146372
    Either we got played like a trumpet or OP is FUBAR
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)12:04:28 No.146378
    >>146345

    He's an adult fucking a child.

    OP I hope you go to prison
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)12:05:07 No.146386
    >>146370
    Yeah. I'm not going to lie, it's better here.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)12:05:49 No.146392
    >>146378
    TIL seniors in high school are children.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)12:06:22 No.146398
    >>146386
    Ausfag here, Europe seems like a neat place.

    America is one of the places i want to stay away from.
    >> SteveTheAnon 10/28/11(Fri)12:06:58 No.146405
    >>146378

    16 is not a child in regards to sexual descisions.

    And he obviously wants it. I mean you can't exactly for someone to pierce you with their magical fairy meatstick can you?
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)12:07:10 No.146408
    >Gaiman
    >Gai man
    >Gay man
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)12:07:30 No.146411
    >>146378
    Or a consenting adult fucking a consenting adult in the UK (where we have far less paedophilia and people aren't put on the sex offenders register for sleeping with someone a month younger than them)
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)12:07:32 No.146412
         File1319818052.jpg-(90 KB, 600x499, 39.jpg)
    90 KB
    >>146378

    >19 year old fucking a 17 year old

    >adult fucking a child

    Jesus Christ, are you serious?
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)12:07:35 No.146414
    >>146386
    >>146398
    Dude. I am also ausfag. Tell us more of europe friend :)
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)12:07:51 No.146415
    >>146378
    agreed

    fucking ephebophiles
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)12:09:05 No.146425
    >>146408
    mind=blown

    muteblox
    >> Australian 10/28/11(Fri)12:09:35 No.146430
    >>146414
    Oh i'm not him, I was just replying to his post
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)12:09:52 No.146434
    >>146412
    you mean
    >17 year old fucking a 19 year old

    Its a child fucking an adult.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)12:10:06 No.146437
    >>146414
    It's colder but less retarded?
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)12:10:14 No.146440
    >>146386
    >>146370
    europoors are sub-humans and the inferior race. Hitler should have killed them all.

    I mean seriously? You guys are actually defending a pedo criminal? I hope you two both get hauled off to jail as well. OP deserves to die for molesting a child and you both deserve to die for defending him.

    get AIDScancer and die, you europoor sub-human faggots
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)12:10:27 No.146443
    AH if only i could of been there for Mom's staredown with her son after that little convo.

    MUAHAHAHA

    Molesting my 16 year old son
    I'd be like BITCH HE LIKES IT.

    if i was a friend of there's i'd rent Savage Garden and leave it in the DVD player.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)12:10:34 No.146446
    Spain.
    Age of consent = 13
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)12:11:09 No.146454
    >>146440
    Hold your horses buddy. We don't know his nationality. 16 may be their legal age.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)12:11:44 No.146458
    >>146446
    >13
    Wat? Way to go, Spanishfags.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)12:12:53 No.146465
    >>146454
    Judging form the reaction I'm fairly certain it's the U.S. Lots of evangelicals around
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)12:13:18 No.146469
    >>146446
    Wow really? 13? I mean, freedom to do what you want and all, but wow.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)12:14:21 No.146481
    >>146458
    Why not let teens going through puberty have sex? As long as you've got the proper support structure and don't try to convince kids that having sex is something you should only do with one person, you probably would have high condom/birth control usage and low teen pregnancy rates.

    Sometimes letting go is best.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)12:15:05 No.146486
    To be honest, does the age of consent actually stop anyone? Underage people fuck when they want to fuck. Surely judges should decide when something is statutory rape, 'cause this is obviously not that high of an offense.
    >> Rage Emitting Diode !RaGERRuxPQ 10/28/11(Fri)12:15:06 No.146487
    She won't care, OP.

    Act like it never happened.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)12:15:25 No.146490
    >>146465
    Easily possible. It's fucked up in australia. They don't give a shit if you're caught fucking at 16. But drinking at 16? YOU'RE SATAN
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)12:16:05 No.146494
    >>146469
    >>146458
    >>146446

    >thinking this isn't the best way to sexualize women which leads to higher birth rates
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)12:17:01 No.146502
    >>146458
    >>146469
    Yeah, europoors are perverts.

    >>146465
    >He said the mom is Catholic. So they're either Hispanic or from the northeast. There are VERY few Catholics in the US outside of those regions. Most of the ones that actually practice are Hispanic, so it's likely that OP is from the southwest and that the kid he was molesting is Mexican.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)12:18:46 No.146515
    >>146490
    >Australia
    >Fucking terrifying beasts everywhere.
    >NOPE.cfg
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)12:19:45 No.146522
    >>146481
    And yet nearly everyone in europoor land is born out of wedlock, STDs are more prominent than in the US, and teen pregancy is completely out of control. But enjoy your glorious marxism. I mean, look at how much it's done for your economies after all. The Greeks can tell you all about that. LMAO! Die in a fire, europoor. We don't need your kind around here.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)12:20:15 No.146528
    His mother is in no way a catholic. She swore at him. Im pretty sure thats a sin or some shit.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)12:20:46 No.146533
    >>146515
    They're actually not that bad, when you've grown up with them.
    >Walk inside late after party
    >Huntsman chilling on pillow
    >Oh hey bro
    >Pick up pillow
    >Place spiderbro outside
    >Less bugs
    Fuck I loved him.
    >> Rage Emitting Diode !RaGERRuxPQ 10/28/11(Fri)12:20:49 No.146534
    >>146486
    >To be honest, does the age of consent actually stop anyone?

    Not usually, lol
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)12:21:26 No.146542
    >>146528
    >calls cursing "swearing"

    What are you 12?
    >> !bOTtlEosv2 10/28/11(Fri)12:21:37 No.146544
    >>145050
    She Wants your vag op.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)12:23:01 No.146556
    >>146542
    Not that guy, but I never use cursing. Sounds like I'm trying to cast a dark spell on someone, but then again, that's what everyone I know does here in Australia. I don't know about you.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)12:23:35 No.146564
    OP IS DEAD! *CLAP* *CLAP* *CLAPCLAP*
    OP IS DEAD! *CLAP* *CLAP* *CLAPCLAP*
    OP IS DEAD! *CLAP* *CLAP* *CLAPCLAP*
    OP IS DEAD! *CLAP* *CLAP* *CLAPCLAP*
    OP IS DEAD! *CLAP* *CLAP* *CLAPCLAP*
    OP IS DEAD! *CLAP* *CLAP* *CLAPCLAP*
    OP IS DEAD! *CLAP* *CLAP* *CLAPCLAP*
    OP IS DEAD! *CLAP* *CLAP* *CLAPCLAP*
    OP IS DEAD! *CLAP* *CLAP* *CLAPCLAP*
    OP IS DEAD! *CLAP* *CLAP* *CLAPCLAP*
    OP IS DEAD! *CLAP* *CLAP* *CLAPCLAP*
    OP IS DEAD! *CLAP* *CLAP* *CLAPCLAP*
    OP IS DEAD! *CLAP* *CLAP* *CLAPCLAP*
    OP IS DEAD! *CLAP* *CLAP* *CLAPCLAP*
    OP IS DEAD! *CLAP* *CLAP* *CLAPCLAP*
    OP IS DEAD! *CLAP* *CLAP* *CLAPCLAP*
    OP IS DEAD! *CLAP* *CLAP* *CLAPCLAP*
    OP IS DEAD! *CLAP* *CLAP* *CLAPCLAP*
    OP IS DEAD! *CLAP* *CLAP* *CLAPCLAP*
    OP IS DEAD! *CLAP* *CLAP* *CLAPCLAP*
    OP IS DEAD! *CLAP* *CLAP* *CLAPCLAP*
    OP IS DEAD! *CLAP* *CLAP* *CLAPCLAP*
    OP IS DEAD! *CLAP* *CLAP* *CLAPCLAP*
    OP IS DEAD! *CLAP* *CLAP* *CLAPCLAP*
    OP IS DEAD! *CLAP* *CLAP* *CLAPCLAP*
    OP IS DEAD! *CLAP* *CLAP* *CLAPCLAP*
    OP IS DEAD! *CLAP* *CLAP* *CLAPCLAP*
    OP IS DEAD! *CLAP* *CLAP* *CLAPCLAP*
    OP IS DEAD! *CLAP* *CLAP* *CLAPCLAP*
    OP IS DEAD! *CLAP* *CLAP* *CLAPCLAP*
    OP IS DEAD! *CLAP* *CLAP* *CLAPCLAP*
    OP IS DEAD! *CLAP* *CLAP* *CLAPCLAP*
    OP IS DEAD! *CLAP* *CLAP* *CLAPCLAP*
    OP IS DEAD! *CLAP* *CLAP* *CLAPCLAP*
    OP IS DEAD! *CLAP* *CLAP* *CLAPCLAP*
    OP IS DEAD! *CLAP* *CLAP* *CLAPCLAP*
    OP IS DEAD! *CLAP* *CLAP* *CLAPCLAP*
    OP IS DEAD! *CLAP* *CLAP* *CLAPCLAP*
    OP IS DEAD! *CLAP* *CLAP* *CLAPCLAP*
    OP IS DEAD! *CLAP* *CLAP* *CLAPCLAP*
    OP IS DEAD! *CLAP* *CLAP* *CLAPCLAP*
    OP IS DEAD! *CLAP* *CLAP* *CLAPCLAP*
    OP IS DEAD! *CLAP* *CLAP* *CLAPCLAP*
    OP IS DEAD! *CLAP* *CLAP* *CLAPCLAP*
    OP IS DEAD! *CLAP* *CLAP* *CLAPCLAP*
    OP IS DEAD! *CLAP* *CLAP* *CLAPCLAP*
    OP IS DEAD! *CLAP* *CLAP* *CLAPCLAP*
    OP IS DEAD! *CLAP* *CLAP* *CLAPCLAP*
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)12:23:47 No.146569
    >>146542
    >calls profanity "cursing"
    What are you, 12?
    >> Rage Emitting Diode !RaGERRuxPQ 10/28/11(Fri)12:24:07 No.146572
    >>146378
    >He's an adult fucking a child.

    I'm only 24, and in my view they're both children.
    Don't see what the fucking fuss is about.
    >> Rage Emitting Diode !RaGERRuxPQ 10/28/11(Fri)12:25:48 No.146594
    >>146542
    I've only ever heard Americans say 'cursing'.

    Probably because most of them still believe in god and magic.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)12:26:17 No.146596
         File1319819177.jpg-(21 KB, 576x320, babylon.5.s03e12.dvdrip.xvid-s(...).jpg)
    21 KB
    so.. your chatting with your 'bf' who's parents dont know he's gay.
    with him on his IM account, which is at home.
    with her parents.
    who don't know he's gay.
    and you proceed to gush Moronic about buttsex
    lubricants etc.
    without confirming who is reading it.

    I mean.. i've done some dumb shit in my time. but holy fuckbags.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)12:26:26 No.146602
    >>146542
    >Calls swearing cursing

    What are you american?
    >> SteveTheAnon 10/28/11(Fri)12:27:39 No.146616
    >>146594

    Oh yes. I love you.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)12:29:55 No.146633
    >>146522

    > http://www.guttmacher.org/pubs/journals/3324401.html

    lolwut!
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)12:29:59 No.146634
    Ya'll niggaz postin' in a troll thread. /thread.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)12:30:09 No.146636
    >>146594
    I don't believe in god, but I will fuck your shit with a potion.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)12:31:02 No.146650
    >>146636
    Do you have a problem with me male sibling?
    TASTE MY DARK FIRE HEATHEN
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)12:34:10 No.146697
    >>146633
    Don't feed the troll, friend.
    >> Rage Emitting Diode !RaGERRuxPQ 10/28/11(Fri)12:36:16 No.146720
    >>146522
    >nearly everyone in europoor land is born out of wedlock

    >Implying that means anything at all when you don't believe in god.

    I know it's an anecdote, but;

    My brother is 36 and has lived with the same woman for 14 years. They have had 3 children, now aged 13, 9, and 2.

    They are not married.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)12:36:56 No.146730
         File1319819816.jpg-(423 KB, 586x834, mental health satire.jpg)
    423 KB
    murrica is full of dumb fucks. just today i had to explain to my roommate why starting up the car in the garage with the door to the garage (which leads into the house) Open would be on the list of BAD things to do.

    >but it's cold outside.
    >it's colder 6 feet under
    >wut
    >explain carbon monoxide
    >incredulous look
    >idontwanttoliveinthiscountryanymore

    Lets just fucking take the warning labels off EVERYFUCKINGTHING and let science sort em out.
    >> Rage Emitting Diode !RaGERRuxPQ 10/28/11(Fri)12:40:10 No.146763
    >>146730
    That's hilarious. I knew about CO when I was 12.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)12:41:51 No.146777
    >>146763
    I knew about radon when I was 9.
    >> Wiibro 10/28/11(Fri)12:44:41 No.146809
    I can't stop laughing.

    I'll never stop laughing.

    You can't make me stop laughing.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)12:44:52 No.146813
    >>146777
    I knew about fire when i was six.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)12:47:02 No.146831
    >>146813
    I knew about ionizing radiation and how it differed from non-ionizing radiation when I was four.

    I think I'm going to be a nuclear physicist after I graduate college. Finishing up my gen ed courses this year.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)12:49:41 No.146848
    >>146831
    My parents still wiped my ass when I was four.
    u jelly?
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)12:50:49 No.146857
    >>146831
    I knew the difference between a cat and a notcat.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)12:51:17 No.146860
    not 146831 but I am jelly
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)12:54:29 No.146889
    >>146831
    That's something most people don't understand for the entirety of their lives. Good on you.
    >> Mr !BurnsIDzmA 10/28/11(Fri)12:57:17 No.146917
    I hope OP comes back
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)12:57:26 No.146920
    so texts actually count as legal proof?

    cool legal system, murrika
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)13:01:31 No.146956
    >>146920
    It's circumstantial evidence.

    But our legal system is so fucked up, I don't even
    >> OP 10/28/11(Fri)13:06:12 No.147013
    OK so I'm back. His mom told me that the lube I bought probably wouldn't work. She gave me some new lube and a box of condoms. Keen for tonight.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)13:07:58 No.147033
    >>147013
    It should work fine.

    What a 180 though.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)13:08:10 No.147035
    >>147013
    Nigga, are you serious?

    That was unexpected.

    WE NEED MOAR DETAILS!
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)13:09:31 No.147050
    >>147033
    >>147035
    TROLLED HARD YOU TRIPPLE NlGGERS
    >> OP 10/28/11(Fri)13:10:15 No.147062
    >write out long-ass story about what happened
    >too long to post, copy/paste into word doc to so I can split it up easily
    >can't post pasted text

    goddamn. Give me a minute, guys.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)13:11:29 No.147076
    /r9k/ is gullible as fuck
    >> nowtripfag OP !zGK5TvtsCs 10/28/11(Fri)13:11:33 No.147077
    >>147013
    Not me, by the way.
    >> Mr !BurnsIDzmA 10/28/11(Fri)13:16:07 No.147126
    >>147062
    Paste it into paste bin, or at least into notepad so you don't have to write it all out again.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)13:17:17 No.147144
    everything's illegal in america. fuck your boring country and laws. you blind, boring idiots.
    >> SlaaneshiAusbro !4N58PixxYE 10/28/11(Fri)13:18:31 No.147157
    This is going to be interesting.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)13:19:52 No.147168
    >>147144
    Most of us fucking hate it but for some reason most of us don't vote.

    I fucking hate this country.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)13:20:06 No.147171
    >>147144
    Being illegal doesn't stop a lot of people from doing it.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)13:25:43 No.147227
    >>147144
    i said this, and i don't mean to disrespect you personally, cos a lot of you are hilarious, witty and pretty cool guys. but that obsession with law abiding and fearing needs to stop. fuck da police. get in the fucking carpool on your 89 honda while getting a blowjob from a turtle .
    >> OP !zGK5TvtsCs 10/28/11(Fri)13:27:37 No.147249
    Okay so that... went better than expected. There was a lot of yelling to begin with on my boyfriend's mom's part (at me, of course), I couldn't understand a lot of what she was saying but I caught some things about me being a 'no-good pervert'. I was too petrified to talk back, to be honest. I didn't want to be put away for being a tot toucher at 19. I didn't say anything for the longest time, not wanting to aggravate her further. My boyfriend was standing behind her, looking equally as petrified, but maybe a little more pissed off.

    Eventually the mood changed when she asked how long this had been going on and my mom answered for us, which shocked my boyfriend's mother as well as me and my boyfriend because the only person who we thought knew apart from ourselves was my brother, but apparently we were obvious.

    But then his mom became more sad than anything, from not being told sooner. And she cried. She sat down and rambled about how her own son was keeping secrets from her and how she could remember when he was younger and would let her know everything down to what time he went to the bathroom at school. My mom made her tea and sat down to console her. She continued to go on about how she couldn't believe that her only son was gay.
    >> OP !zGK5TvtsCs 10/28/11(Fri)13:28:12 No.147260
    >>147249
    And then my fucking boyfriend started to cry, too, and then there was a lot of yelling back and fourth between him and his mother, about how she was never around and only cared about how he did in school and how he made her look etcetera. She said that's not true, and he said "well what about right now, mom? I love this guy so fucking much, I'm so happy with him but you couldn't give a shit - all you care about is the fact that your son's a fucking faggot" and then there was more yelling and then she hugged him and they cried together and it was awkward as hell for the uninvolved parties.

    Eventually they calmed down and my boyfriend practically begged his mother not to call the cops on my ass, and she said she wouldn't, and that it wouldn't matter if she did anyway because what we're doing isn't actually illegal - I practically fainted with relief, oh my fucking god - and then she apologised to ME for calling me all those things and told me that she had always thought I was a "nice boy" and that if her son had to be gay she wouldn't want for him to be with anyone else. Then she apologised to my mother for making a scene and she disappeared into the bathroom for twenty minutes.

    She came out and had cleaned herself up, asked my mother if it was still okay for her to drop my boyfriend off at six that night (he was going to be staying with us that weekend - his mom was going to a wedding in Maine), which it was, and then she said her goodbyes and went to leave with my boyfriend but not before telling me that if I ever did anything to hurt her son that I was going to get a lot more than just a round of verbal abuse.

    I'm just... wow. Really surprised and fucking thankful that I'm not sitting in the back of a police car or something right now. Even more surprised that she's going to let her son stay on the same premises as me for two and a half days without her supervision.
    >>   10/28/11(Fri)13:29:14 No.147268
    This reminds me of an exchange my gf and her friend had on facebook. My gf's mom is nosy

    >friend: omg remember that guy that got period blood all over his face at that party? I saw him today
    gf: ew nasty
    >friend: yeah I asked him if that was him, he denied it
    >gf's mom: This is Jessica's mom, I' mjust using Jenny's computer quick

    trollmom.png
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)13:30:46 No.147280
    >>145145
    Undoing it is impossible.. unless you have chloroform and a pack of wild niggers at your disposal
    >> SlaaneshiAusbro !4N58PixxYE 10/28/11(Fri)13:31:04 No.147285
    >>147260
    Sounds like some heavy shit

    But at least you got out of it okay.

    Your mum sounds pretty cool about it too.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)13:31:12 No.147288
    >>147249
    >>147260
    I really didn't expect her to listen to logic from her son. That is encouraging and impressive.
    >> Mc Fluphy Bunny !!lrwoPVqo+dl 10/28/11(Fri)13:31:46 No.147297
    >>147260

    why do homosexuals get pissed off when people use the term faggot, but they use it on themselves and others whenever they are in a rage
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)13:32:13 No.147298
    >>147268

    >gf
    stopped reading there
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)13:32:14 No.147300
    >>147260
    my mom would've probably had that same reaction.
    she's catholic and crazy sometimes, but reasonable when shit needs some real reasoning.
    my sister had a mean std a couple of years ago, and both my parents acted okay, i thought they were gonna judge her aggresively.

    i'm happy for you , man. proves there's still some shit that can be solved without lawyers involved.
    >> OP !zGK5TvtsCs 10/28/11(Fri)13:33:21 No.147317
    >>147126
    I also guess that she wasn't as religious as I had thought.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)13:33:25 No.147320
    ITT:everythingwentbetterthanexpected.fop

    Well that's fantastic, OP. Life-changing, even. I wish there was more of this in the world.
    >> Mr !BurnsIDzmA 10/28/11(Fri)13:35:28 No.147350
    Congrats, OP. Thought I must admit I would have preferred more lulz
    >> OP !zGK5TvtsCs 10/28/11(Fri)13:37:05 No.147371
    >>147317
    Also not sure why I wrote that as a reply to >>147126, my head is just not working right now.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)13:38:29 No.147390
    Huzzah for happy endings!
    >> SteveTheAnon 10/28/11(Fri)13:38:40 No.147393
    >>147317

    Gz OP! :)

    Nice to see a happy ending!
    >> OP !zGK5TvtsCs 10/28/11(Fri)13:39:59 No.147414
    >>146502
    You were right with northeast, actually. New Jersey.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)13:40:41 No.147423
    OP you are one lucky fuck, congrats
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)13:41:33 No.147437
    >>147297

    I think he was making a point about how she was thinking of him at that point.

    I doubt he'd actually call himself a "fucking faggot".
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)13:42:30 No.147448
    >>147317
    Dude, at the end of the day people are still people. So what if she's religious? Unless they have a serious psychological problem, most people are rational and to a certain extent compassionate. At the end of the day, she's going to want what makes her son happy. It was probably just shock that made her freak out at first.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)13:42:53 No.147454
    Good for you, OP. I hope you and your boy have a bunch of great sex tonight in celebration.

    And I hope that your expensive lube works.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)13:43:47 No.147465
    Great now you faggots don't have to hide in the closet. Congratulations, OP!
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)13:43:55 No.147470
    lol what with the cussing in those messages.
    its so out of place
    >i bought that fucking lube you were talking about
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)13:44:27 No.147474
    what a nice story, im glad i left this thread open....thank you for the 4 hours of entertainment.

    what did we learn from this story? that the United States of America is a fucked up place where a 19 year old guy can go to jail because his asshole was ravaged by a 16 year old male.

    seriously.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)13:47:14 No.147513
    >>146061
    Sometimes Catholics are awesome
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)13:47:57 No.147526
    I'm honestly glad things worked out OP, and it's good that everyone knows so you wont have to be so secretive about all of it. They may still have a few issues to work out, but all seems to be well. Good luck with the future relationship.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)13:51:44 No.147582
    >>147470
    >fucking lube
    >sex lubricant
    >you use it when you intend to fuck
    huehuehue
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)13:55:09 No.147623
    >>147474
    nope.avi
    Age of consent in New Jersey is 16.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)13:57:27 No.147649
         File1319824647.jpg-(25 KB, 1173x75, umm.jpg)
    25 KB
    Also legal for a thirteen-year-old in Jersey to fuck and be fucked, as long as their partner isn't over four years older than them.

    What the fuck.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)13:57:39 No.147650
    >>147280
    All gays have those two things you idiot
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)13:59:03 No.147665
    >>147649

    What if a 12 and a 13 year old fuck?
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)13:59:59 No.147679
    >>147665
    Then you'd want to watch because you're a sick fuck.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)14:00:44 No.147687
    >>147679

    Besides that, is it illegal for them to fuck?
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)14:02:47 No.147705
    >>147649
    You could potentially have a legal-illegal-legal relationship if you were 4 years and a few months older than your partner
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)14:03:25 No.147711
    >2011
    >having moral obligations between > 14 yo's fucking anyone under 20
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)14:08:28 No.147763
    Well this was nice.

    Now what
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)14:09:50 No.147774
    >>147687
    Not illegal, but there will be investigations into how they came to be in that position.
    They'll most likely be counselled.

    This is assume they're caught.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)14:14:17 No.147826
    >>147470
    He's from Jersey, what did you expect. I'm surprised that every second word wasn't a variation of "fuck".
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)14:32:43 No.148043
    Thanks for coming back and telling us what happened OP.
    Glad I kept this open. Hope your relationship continues well.



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