picbloxxxx

Also, for those of you who dont know what AvPD is

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Avoidant_personality_disorder

http://www.millon.net/taxonomy/avoidant.htm

Shit I'm alot like you OP I think I might have that.

Well, looks like I have an actual mental condition and not just a pathetic loser; time to kill myself.

I'm told it's highly likely that I have/suffer from AvPD.

Personally, I loathe meeting new people, and trying new things. Every time I muster up the courage to talk to someone I don't know, or am forced to do so, my mind blanks. I have no idea what to say, cannot hold a conversation at all, and usually end up walking away hating myself for failing so hard. I end up trying to convince myself I don't need anybody or anything in my life, but the tears on my pillow say otherwise. I'm a broken man because of it, destined to forever live in fear of other people. 'Doomed', you might say, to live a lonely, cursed life.

I mad and you make me mad. Feelsgoodman to be alone.

I have these tendencies. I seem to only be able to have a friend for a limited amount of time before I start to shut down around them, for fear that they will leave me. Once in awhile I don't shut down... and they still leave me. :(

So I spend my days shut in the house when I'm not working. I'm very lonely, but I don't trust anyone at all.

Too much text.
Deal with it.

It's stressful just leaving my apartment. I was always awkward, angry, depressed, and different because of my bipolar disorder, but it advanced as a problem into full-blown social anxiety in my early 20's and there's little hope for improvement. I wouldn't find acceptance among the normals though anyway. Never have, never will.

I'm super avoidant.

I only have one friend left (besides my mother) and hes away at college. Sometimes I wish I could just cut him off so I can sink deeper into my little world.

Today I destroyed most of my comfort cloths and shoes so I won't be able to leave the house.

Shits getting worse man.

I'm uneasy around other people I don't know. Passing someone on the street, I'd rather avoid them altogether.

Though this is not a big problem. I'm way too stable to actually have a "disorder". Just cause I'd rather avoid some- thing/one doesn't mean I will.

Yes, I consider myself ugly, I used to have a pretty strong social phobia, but the more mature life has forced me out of it.

I became this way because of bullying. Though I won't rule out genetics playing a part.

I guess I'm "self-deserting". Not easy around these "labels" but I'm quite depressed at times, while most of the time just being neutral.

Yes, I am, ofcourse, unloved, and have this childish belief that getting a GF would "fix" my shit. But that is not gonna happen so I just have to man the fuck up.

Don't be a bitch, OP.

>>11115409

Me again, I actually read the rest of the OP and the Wiki article, and I'm not sure this is me. I'm not ridiculously afraid of being disliked or anything, I just find it really difficult to be in new social situations, and feel awkward meeting new people; thus I tend to avoid social situations.

So do I have this thing or not?

I like how you guys try to rationalize and categorize your shyness. You just need to get off the computer once in a while, jesus.

>>11115524
... And do what? I suck in social situations, and there's nothing to do around here that's relevant to my interests.

>>11115524

You don't understand man.

But its cool.

>>11115524
And play dem consoles.
Good advice

>>11115555

>11115555

doublequads

I'm conflicted :(
It's impossible for me to be happy...

>>11115554

Yeah, the normals can never really understand us, but I don't hold it against them either. Some fellas are lucky and some aren't.

>>11115353
I am in exactly 100% OPs situation.
When this acne shit goes away I'm going to reign over this world in terror, like the 6'5 muscular black man I am. But until then I'm staying inside to watch anime and lurk /r9k/.

Feels good man.

Pic related, shit was so cash. I'd usually be jealous but the guy in red is a bro, I ain't even mad.

>>11115524
Hows that?
Nigger.

I think I am, although I've never been diagnosed or anything. For me it basically manifests as constant tension when in public, and being hyperaware of myself because it feels like everyone is judging me. I know mentally that 99.9% of people on the street don't give a fuck, but the irrational anxiety remains. Besides that, I loathe talking on the phone, always use self-checkout at the grocery store even when it's inconvenient, and generally avoid being around anyone besides my girlfriend.

It's also made it a bitch to try to find work, because more often than not I'll talk myself out of going to apply for a job with a bunch of clever excuses as to why it would be pointless to even try - too much competition, not qualified enough, etc.

>>11115513

Yea I dont care whether people dont like me either, at least not in the general, disconnected sense. Though when Im actually in a social situation, Im rigorously self-conscious and conscious of those around me, perceiving and over-analyzing everything.

Its important to realize though that its not a personality disorder unless its fucking up your life, otherwise its just a personality style. You can be a little shy but that doesnt mean you have AvPD, or you can be a bit arrogant but that doesnt mean you have narcissistic PD, ect.

I had to go to see a counselor due to drug abuse. He made me take some sort of Myer-Briggs esque personality test. It said i had avoidant personality disorder. It explain a lot of shit about my childhood, like a period during middleschool when i refused to hang out with any of my friends.

I'm 21 years old and a senior in college. Any girl i get close to and get close to fucking, i find some flaw in her. it's odd. i guess it was a genuine diagnosis.

my spiraling opiate addiction isn't helping at all either. it makes me antisocial as hell to begin with. whenever i'm fucked up i'm pretty extroverted, so i try to stay inebriated.

>>11115585
Also a horror story of when I was a fat acne covered 13 year old, lololo
>walking to best buy to get flash drive
>knock on store door because I didn't consider it was closed
>the guy cleaning inside laughs at me and says the store is closed
>come back 20 minutes later
>walk in store, three grown men laugh at me, not even in a joking manner, laughing at me
>buy flash drive
>before walking out, say "I may not look good but I'm not working at best buy at 30 years of age."
>make the come at me bro face
>walk out, never return out of fear

>>11115644
sure is aspie here..

>>11115627

Well actually I'm more than a little shy, I consider myself highly introverted, but I do think (and hope) it's just that, and I don't have this condition. Still sucks though.

>>11115662
>implying I wouldn't do fine outside if I didn't have shitty skin
Still had a lot of friends even with shitty skin, I just refused to make more or date women because of it. Didn't want to have someone else put up with my issues.

Also although I believe aspergers exists, I just think very few of the people who say they have it actually have it.

>>11115368

At first I was like, I exhibit most traits of the conflicted-avoidant type, not bad at all, then I saw the sself-deserting personality type and was like 'fuck, ive never been described so accurately before.'

last friday i went out at night, first we went to a dinner
description booze anybody?
got mad drunk, then we hit the streets, mind you that in portugal no everyone goes to
clubs but people just hang out in the street, there are more people at night than in the day time,
after the dinner we smoked some joints and them everybody was looking for they're friends...
some of the guys took of with some girls, the ratio was like 2 girls for each guy. one of them grabbed
my 2 friends and them she say'd if you dont come with us ill shoot you guys.
i was back to the other guys, so i just thought, fuck it.
shouted that i was going to take a piss, slipped out, got home cried before i went to sleep and that was that.
before i slipped out i even try ed calling the last girl i was with before i went full beta, because she texted me
asking if i was going out tonight and shit, send her 3 msgs nothing, tryed calling nothing.
why am i so alone?
sorry for the off topic but i just had to get it all out.
still feels bad man.

>>11115368
>These individuals immerse themselves in a surrogate fantasy existence to avoid the discomfort of having to relate to others. They are not, however, unaware of their use of these tactics ... and this makes them painfully aware of their perceived inadequacies. Fantasy gradually becomes less effective, and their thoughts center more and more on the misery of their lives and the anguish of past experiences. Waking dreams are displaced by painful ruminations.
Well fuck.

>>11115724
Almost me to a T. Sucks. I don't want to be like this. :(

>>11115644
good on you.
I wish I could say things like that.

>>11115758

Me too man.

Shit is BAAAAAD!

its almost like we should start a club or something...

Spoiler: There's no escape.

>>11115859

from the slave-catcher's song?

>>11115842
The "I'm too much of a pussy to go out because everyone will be watching if i ever make a mistake" club?

>>11115859
Of course there is.
Just press the button!

>>11115873

Strength through numbers.

>>11115873
I've been visiting a website called 2channel? a lot lately.

We're worse off than them and channel3 is already a website, how about something like 4channel?

Alright... I'm going to pour it all out here
Well I had a pretty fucked up childhood involving an abusive drunk mom that would burn me with cigarettes... Which I some how managed to completely repress. I believe that contributes to my anxiety...
I can't make eye contact with people unless they are a good friend...I don't talk to any one that comes off as an authoritative figure. I suck at talking to girls unless they talk to me first and we sort of click... Most people think I'm just the weird kid that like to sit by himself.
I also have conversations with myself in my head....
for example if I feel lonely I will end up having a conversation with myself in my head involving me and some random close friend (which I only have a few of).And when I'm taking a shower i tend to look around in all directions because I think they're might be a ghost or something... and when i go to bed a check the whole house for ghosts or robbers.... and also by reading this you can tell I'm pretty cluttered,unorganized and incapable of writing an organized block of text :/
So on top of being extremely anxious paranoid and socially awkward I think I just might be a schitzo...

Pic related it's me. I don't think I look that weird....

>>11116087
aren't you always trying to justify your actions?

>>11116105

I'm not quite sure what you mean by that...

>>11116087

I do the talking to myself thing a lot.

I've actually created a whole community of beings in my head that I communicate with daily.

>>11116105

I do.

>>11116123
don't you feel that anyone could question whatever you do?

>>11116087
You don't look weird at all in that pic. In fact, you're kind of cute.

>>11116087

Why do you check your house for ghosts/robbers? Do you actually think there might be some or is it a compulsion?

>>11116136

I'm almost there >_<

Also do any of you guys smoke pot?
I smoke a lot of pot....

Does anyone here make plans, then just not feel like going through with them?

I also do that fantasy world shit, imagined that I was in a super-famous band all the time when I was a teenager.

>>11116123

I think he means do you constantly try to justify everything you do to make yourself feel better.

Like justifying not doing certain normal things.

>>11116146

Well yeah I see crazy shit out of the corner of my eye sometimes and then I look around my whole house to see if I was imagining it... and I never find it...

>>11116169

If you're seeing shit then yeah you might have mild schizophrenia.

>>11116162
Yeah... sometimes I just space out and think of being a saxophone player in a Ska band...

>>11116167
and yeah I do that...
like if a friend of mine is talking to some girl who I don't know very well or even if it's a dude I won't go over there and I'll think to myself "Why aren't I over there joining they're conversation" and It's usually because I don't want to look stupid

>>11116169

I really paranoid about shit like that too.

Last night I had a nightmare that I was being chased through the woods by leatherface. When I woke up I was so terrified. I looked under the bed and locked the door.

Sometime I get so scared that I won't leave my room until the sun rises.

>>11116158

I smoke weed sometimes but it makes things worse.

Imagine this. You're high as hell, and then the guy in your head starts talking to you. Then you start to think "What if this guy is real? What if this is god talking to me!!? OH SHIT TOO MUCH REAL LIFE!!"

>>11116162

I make plans on bettering myself. But I can never stay consistent,

>>11115615
Yeah, I know the feeling. I don't think I have it that bad though, I can still go out and socialise...worrying that my friends and random people I've never met before are judging everything I do.

Schizotype here, though i can be pretty avoidant. I go out to parties with my roommates almost weekly, but just to show myself that it's possible for me to be social. Aside from work and my one class, I usually don't go out at all, I feel much more at home here on 4chan.

I miss high school where everyone was as weird as me, I had girlfriends almost throughout high school. Since I graduated and changed states, I've hardly been able to snag the occasional kiss. Shit sucks, i'm fucking lonely, and it makes me want to kill myself. Not just the fact that I'm single really, but more so that I feel like I'll be a bachelor forever. My emotions are out of whack and my thought disorder makes everything I say come out wrong, so I never come off as smooth as I wish I was. Thank god for all the porn here, but goddammit, I'm sick of porn, I want the real thing.

Thank god for drugs. Weed makes me feel much better every time, and LSD and other psychedelics let me take advantage of all the thoughts that dont make sense normally.

I'm just afraid things are going to get so bad I'm just going to imagine myself up a woman and go fully off the deep end