>This was about 7 years ago
>Drunk guy on train at 1pm
>Keeps trying to hang about with the schoolkids (us)
>Assaults the conductor
>Police pick him up at the next stop

>Sits down next to drunk man
>Smells really bad
>He asks if it's Friday or Saturday
>It's Thursday
>Feel awkward for the entire "trip"

Still 20 minutes in the bus until he left. I got myself not to laugh.

>Take same train to work and back every weekday for a year
>Nothing interesting ever happens
>Only memorable event was being woken up at my stop by a middle aged woman, who also got the same train as me everyday, after falling asleep in the moring

>In San Francisco, Fleet Week
>Thousands flock to the waterfront/boardwalk to watch the Navy come in
>buses have standing room only
>family with two toddlers standing in front of me
>bus jerks forward
>toddler falls backward
>right into my balls
>mfw

>Sleep on bus
>Wake up on my stop
>Rush to the door
>Foot still kinda asleep
>Fall outside of bus
>Don't take the same bus the next day

>Be 16
>Go downtown on the bus
>Some drug addict get on the bus
>Gets undressed
>Dresses up for a rave
>Turns on all her flashy lights and shit
>Gets off
>No one besides me seemed to notice

>Like 7 years ago, so I was like 13
>Me and my two cousins that are the same age snuck out while on vacation to go play mini golf at midnight
>Take the bus on the way home
>Parents trying to hook their own teenage daughter to some college age guys for like 5 grand
>notsureilike.gif

Last two times I rode the bus, there would be a girl who'd sit in the seat right in front of me when they got on even though there were plenty of other open seats on the bus. They expecting me to talk to them or some shit?

>be 20
>on the tube (London)
>hear a bunch of teen aged girls laughing and looking at me
>think :(
>one of the girls comes over and starts hitting on me
>ask her how old she is
>17
>my face

> Riding bus with a friend downtown
> Asian girl gets on and sits 1 row ahead of us
> Some guys we were friendly with get on
> Next stop, more people we know get on
> They all start discussing likes/dislikes of porn
> 15 minutes later the asian girl pulls the cord and jogs off the buss
> Bright red face

> Real life troll as fuck

>Take bus home from work
>no seats open, be the only passenger that has to stand
>wearing leather soled shoes
>proceed to make myself look like a complete moron as I slide around for 15 minutes
>feelsbadman.jpg

>drunk on the red line in Boston from Harvard to Braintree.
>wtf is that smell guys
>homeless guy stumbles off at South Station
>LEFT A STEAMING PILE OF SHIT BY THE SEAT

Fuck you, MBTA.

>high as fuck
>lost in nyc
>keep getting on the wrong train
>doors close on me as I rush in
>twice (feels bad man)
>hours late for friend's birthday party

>Be 13
>On london bus with friends from school
>Friends get off
>3 black men sit around me blocking the exit
>"wot u gat fur me blud"
>"This is my stop can we do this off of the bus"
>Two behind me one infront
>Turn and walk to the driver as soon as i go down the last step
>Bus driver is white angry and middle aged
>Locks bus doors and waits for police
>my face

>Get on train
>Forced to stand, it's ABSOLUTELY PACKED
>Forced to stand beside two really fat chicks
>REALLY FAT chicks
>They're lesbians
>They keep kissing
>I can't look away because I can't move
>FFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

> Riding the bus in OP's pic
> Gypsy kid runs on the bus and snatches my backpack
> Fucking Gypsies
> I'm actually only posting because OP's pic is taken in my hometown
> Zalau, fuck yeah
> Pic related

>taking the bus during the summer
>at least 100 degrees
>everyone on the bus is sweating despite AC
>obese man boards bus
>fuck me what is that smell
>fat guy is too fat to wipe his own fucking ass
>fat guy gets off after a few stops
>stink prevails
>look over
>shit stain bled through onto the seat

>Go see Rush with friend and brother
>It's our first real 'big' concert and it orgasmic
>Take train back, find outselves in subway at midnight
>Sing 'Down in a Tubestation At Midnight'
>Perfect ending.

>>10906837
Sucks, I would have let you sit. I'm one of the few that prefers to stand while on the bus/train.

>>10906875
LOL the T is classic.

>Live in UK
>Can't get on a bus without having some working-class scum sitting at the back playing his shitty music on his phone just to annoy the rest of the fucking bus.

>get on the bus with music blasting on my headphones
>zoned out
>after about 10 seconds, a weird smell comes to my nose
>it smells like old, dirty piss
>look up to see a dirty homeless man sitting in the corner
>oh god it smells so bad
>women beside me and in front of me move to the front of the bus
>feel bad for the homeless guy
>being my moral bitch self of no wrongdoings, sit through the disgusting smells, as to not destroy his already minimal self esteem
>nose hairs smell like piss for the rest of the day

> be 14
> on the local metro
> hormones raging
> sit down opposite reasonably attractive mid 20s woman
> movement of metro encourages erection
> my stop
> stand up boner gets caught in leg of underpants
> inches from womans face
> masturbate heavily to that later.

>very late at night
>get on bus
>pay driver
>look back
>see two people fucking in the back
>loud screams of pleasure
>look at bus driver
>He shrugs
>sit in the front.

>Riding back on first train from same Rush concert
>Packed car, a couple stoned Rush fans, but mostly drunk parrortheads from the Jimmy Buffet concert across the street
>Drunk women dances on pole and starts to try and start a singalong
>Train bumps, she falls down and out of her flipflops

>on bus
>St. Patrick's Day 2 PM
>two drunk bums get on
>smell like piss, puke, and cheap soap
>both are drinking from spray bottles sans the nozzle
>I get off bus and vomit

>taking the train home from work
>train's packed as fuck
>have short cute girls ass up against my pelvis
>nonchalantly make a up and down movement
>turns around to get off at next stop
>its a guy with long hair aka trap

i cried myself to sleep that night

>take last bus to school (late at night)
>be only sober person on bus filled with drunk people
>drugged up guy comes on bus, starts talking about hip hop & tries to seduce girls sitting behind me
>offers people pizza he was holding in his coat pocket
>goes to back of bus, attempts to get some random dude to suck his dick
>wat

>>10907050
Lol

I can relate.

Get on dublin bus, at least 5 cunts playing music through their phone...

>>10907050

I'm in the US, California specifically

That happened to me, except it was a white guy wearing a wool trench coat and cowboy hat blasting linkin park on this phone. I should also mention it was the middle of summer.

>On bus
>Little kid sat on his mother's lap making a fucking racket
>He keeps trying to climb off her lap and shouting
>Mom manages to get him on her lap
>Bus suddenly stops
>Kid goes flying and does a front flip
>Does not land on feet
>Giggle like a bitch
>His mom's face

>>10906875
I thought Braintree was a Stephen King creation. Hyuk hyuk, my knowledge of the US is terrible.

>Have to take bus for a few months
>After a couple weeks notice one 'women' is staring at me every day on this bus
>Realize it is a trap a few minutes after this
>Start taking a different bus week latter.

Seriously,grown man dressed as a women just staring at me the entire time i was taking that bus.

>Visiting San Francisco
>Go to party with friend, he wants to bang a chick there and I don't know anyone there but him
>Everyone drinking, don't care for cheap wine, take pills instead
>Cannot stand being around drunk young women
>Party starts dwindling down
>Pills wear off, proceed to leave
>missed the last bus
>have to stand outside in the freezing fog for two hours until service resumes
>on bus, gay man strikes up conversation about how we're wearing virtually the same outfit

>In the bus
>It is empty
>Some goddamn faggot enters
>Despite all the seats being fucking empty, he sits next to me
>the rage of a thousand suns

>am a 15 year old girl
>enjoy riding the main metro line back and forth while sketching, puts me in the zone
>sketching while I reach the end of the line, which is notorious for being the "bad" part of town, aka gangs and muggings etc
>mob of black thug type guys gets on the train, I've been mugged before so I am naturally nervous
>keep sketching and ignore them
>mob starts to approach me, I tense up
>they sit around me, my brain is like OHFUCKOHFUCKOHFUCK
>YO YOU'RE REALLY GOOD AT DRAWING
>rest of subway ride keep sketching while they peer over my shoulder and marvel at my picture
>some thug dudes = bros

>>10906767
>implying every raver is a drug addict
I fuckin love raves and I'm not a druggie

>Catch a bus to college every day
>Start to realise that there's this mental woman who is also deaf catching it most days
>On the best of days she's doing sign language to no one in particular, usually towards the window
>On the worst of days she tries to make conversation with the driver... you know how deaf people talk. Shouting their words yet never forming them properly.
>Always sit as close to the back of the bus as possible because she always sits at the front.

> Take the wrong bus three times in a week
Seriously, I'm THAT bad.

> Get on the bus
> Sit next the guy I liked
> Look at him
> He pulls me on his seat and cuddlekisses me
> He wants to fuck

> First day in my new highschool
> Catch the bus while looking all spiffy
> Goddamn middle schoolers
> Goddamn old people
> Squished against the doors, my leg bending awkwardly

>>10907050
>he still thinks chavs are working class!!!!!

>Catch bus each morning to college. School girls get on along the line, and all get off just before my stop, at their school.
>One particular chick starts to sit next to me frequently
>Think nothing of it at first, then realise that she is actively choosing to sit next to me when there's loads of other spaces.
>We make eye contact a few times during bus journeys or when she gets off
>Too beta to ever start conversation with a random stranger
>Hear a few people call her by her name. Make a note of the school that she gets off at
>Put them both into MySpace (it was the MySpace days), find her.
>Add her. Hope she talks to me first, so I don't have to talk first.
>No such thing happens. I message her, say "I've seen you on the bus" and all that shit. Add her on MSN
>We talk a fair bit, then just sort of stop. I realise she's not online anymore.
>mfw I realise that I'm a very creepy Facebook/MySpace stalker. Even if she did fancy me, which I still think she did, she must have been horrified at the thought of a random person managing to find her without ever making conversation with her.

I'm so glad none of my friends found out about that girl. Christ, that's one of the most pathetic things I've done.

>on the train
>bum is sleeping on the other side of me, taking up 4 seats
>he gets up and walks to the door
>takes out his dick and pisses all over the door

It was gross but I lol'd

>>10907569
>Implying they're not.

Unless you mean they're underclass. I'll accept that. They'll never be anything better.

Was in San Diego for work and a few of my friends and I decide to go to the beach for the day. We take the bus and theres this 70 year old woman on the bus ranting absolute nonsense. After about 5 minutes of listening to this insane woman we realize that she is acting out some television episode in her head word for word. about 10 minutes later we find out we were definitely right in our assumption when she starts singing commercials.

On the same bus ride there was this old man black man who kept opening the window. The bus driver tells him to close it due to the fact that the bus is air conditioned and he goes on some 10 minute rant about how the white man is keeping the black race down due to not letting him have his window open.

>on a train
>random bum gets on with broken bottle
>demands everyone get down
>get on the floor
>everybody walk the dinosaur

>Use public transportation
>Don't have to own a car
>FUCK YES

>>10907498
She looked like one of those "faces of meth" posters.

>go with mom to move friend out of shitty apartment in the Bronx.
>Sweat my ass off carrying shit down 5 flights of stairs
>car is so full, me and friend go home separately by train
>Have some gatorade before hitting train
>2 hours later, not nearly home yet, bladder is killing me, train stuck in station for 20+ minutes
>Pisses between cars
>COP
>Lets us off
>Turns out a few weeks later, excessive pissing is from rapid onset of type 1 diabeetus
>feels really fucking bad man
>lose 50 pounds over the next 9 months
>feels fukken awsm man.

>>10906875
Hey, it's not their fault that there was a crazy homeless guy!

Personally, I can't wait to move to Cambridge (in Worcester right now). I can sell my car and just take the T everywhere!

>on bus late at night
>couple comes in and sits next to me
>obvisouly drunk
>she begins to fuck him
>he asks me to have a threesome
>i had no condom

>Live in Argentina
>run to catch the bus
>jump in while the door is closing
>I end up stuck by the door. Can't move in or jump out
>driver doesn't see me
>bus starts moving
>I hit the door, terrified
>driver stops and opens the door
>get in
>driver grabs me by the neck and yells at me
>continue trip normally

I have other more boring stories of people fighting with the driver

>Taking the bus home from college
>Slightly chubby girl reaches to pull the chord for the next stop
>She plays a C5 and then a D5
>The whole bus laughs at her, takes the guitar out of her hand and spits on her face

>stay up all night previously talking to a friend on the internet, and fuck was I tired
>class at 9am, have to take the bus for a 20 minute or so ride to get there
>bus is packed full, I have to stand the whole ride
>SO TIRED

>>10907797
what the fuck am I reading?
asdasjdbsdfbsdfbhdsf

>>10907821
As in guitar chords?

>on the bus
>listening to music with headphones
>Old guy and black guy start to argue
>Yelling
>Old guy beats the shit out of Black guy
>Blood everywhere
>Old guy gets off bus
>Show no emotion and don't change expression throughout whole thing

>>10907597
the joke was that they don't have jobs, so they can't be "working" class

>on train with gf going to city
>some guy with teh downs sits directly opposite us
>i feel a bit sorry for him
>train begins leaving station
>he begins shouting every (deranged) thought that comes into is head
>trying so hard not to smile
>smush my face into the window in an attempt to hide smile
>hes yelling about how he's a hardcore drug dealer and how many people he's "capped"
>gf is next to him, cant make eye contact with her in fear of laughing out loud
>horrible situation
>eventually we arrive, what a nightmare


Probably worst situation on public transport.
It was so hard trying not to laugh.
second worst was

>retards get on train with carer
>they start making the weirdest sounds
>cant hold in laughter any longer
>do a big nasal snort of laughter
>carers look at me like im a nazi.

Fucking hell why do i find retards so funny

>on the bus coming home from work
>100% white collars
>10 minutes into trip bus driver announces
>"THIS IS THE HAPPY BUS, EVERYONE HAS TO BE HAPPY HERE, NO FROWNING PLEASE. I HOPE YOU HAD A NICE DAY EVERYONE"
>every time someone gets off the bus he gives a crazy smile and shouts "BE HAPPY"
>ohgodhe'sgoingtokillus.jpg

>>10907821
>is not a theoryfag
>does not know about parallel fifths

laughinggirls.jpg

>Taking the bus, completely wasted
>Sit down, put my headphones on and start listening to music
>Some old dude sits down on the opposite seat, facing me
>Notice there's some kind of radiator with a loose screw hitting on my right ankle.
>Get a small screwdriver out of my bag and attempt to fix it for 25 minutes, right in front of the old man.
>Give up and sit up to realize people around are looking at me like I'm a weirdo.
>They've probably been talking and laughing about me since I couldn't hear with my loud music.
>Mixed feelings of shame and hilarity

>Standing while bus is in motion
>bus suddenly stops
>stumble forward
>trip
>sit in fat woman's lap
>die from embarrassment

honestly she didn't seem too put off by it, just a bit surprised

>taking bus home from college
>senior across from me pissed herself
>it is fucking everywhere
>spend ride huffing markers to drown out the piss smell

> Washington DC
>July 4th
>billions of people
>walk 2 miles hoping the metro station isn't packed.
>it is
>30 minutes pass, cop finally let people in
>people fucking storm the place, cops don't do shit.
>people running down up escalators
>actually see someone perpetually fall
>fucking awesome.

>>10907948
Oh god, I would've died. I hate people forcing you to be happy.

>old white guy with a beard and black guy in confrontation
>black guy swings on white guy
>white guy knocks out black guy
>shit my purple pants

>>10907821
you are reading a good joke

>Sitting on bus comming home from university
>I pull the string because my stop is comming
>I get up old man grabs my hands and stares into my eyes
>I'm a guy
>I tell him to fuck off and leave
> Go home and wash hand in alcohol and soap

>>10907910
you should have called amber lamps.

>Coming back from a trip with friends
>Been drinking, farting, living together for a week.
>Get on the train, sit near a nun
>Drinking beers
>One of my friends does not realize we're back in the civilized world and proceeds to emit an enormous burp
>Realizes what he's done, shamefully apologizes to the nun who looks at him like he's the devil

>>10907948
Fellow Brisfag?

>>10907718

So.. Did you make the sex with her?

one time, as often times, I got on a bus, and then i got home. I didn't rain - and that made me happy.

>>10906596

Everytime I get on a bus and sit I pray to god so a beatiful girl would sit with me

;_;

>>10907910

Did someone call da amberlamps?

>14 years old, middle of winter
>waiting on the bus to take me home from school
>wearing my school uniform, so I look like a business woman
>only open seat is next to a elderly man, I sit down
>he grabs my arm and starts talking to me
>thick ukranian accent, all I can make out is "We should go on date"
>"Sir, I'm fourteen."
>"OH! You look so grown! You look like business lady!"
>mfw I have to sit next to him until he gets off

>on da Q31 on the way to school
>news said it was probably not going to rain
>forget my umbrella anyway
>my stop comes up, get ready to go to school
>as soon as i put my foot on the pavement it starts pouring
>get soaked crossing the fucking street
>mfw

>>10908265
we humbly request pictures, miss bussiness lady.

>Week long induction course in city
>No parking available, must catch train
>Trip in is fine, early morning no one but business folk
>Trip home: SCUM OF SOCIETY EVERYWHERE
>Drunk guy telling us to keep paying taxes so he can get pissed and stoned each week
>Downers who shit their pants
>Blind guy who was a total bro told some coons to go sniff petrol

Brisbane sucks.

>13
>bus driver HATES kids
>never lets anyone off at the correct stop, and always claims he couldn't see us
>its pissing with rain
>sound buzzer to let him know to stop
>he doesn't
>ask wtf are you doing
>he says OHH SORRY BRO I DIDNT SEE YOU LOL
>undercover inspector gets up, demands to know whats going on
>driver continues acting like a douche
>inspector says he has been watching him for a long time and tells him hes fired
>driver is speechless
>i lol and get off the bus

>>10907010
Your underage-ban is showing

>Have car of my own
>Never have to ride with poor people
>I feel left out of this thread

>>10908448
You spelt environmentally conscious wrong

>>10907884
I know those are chords, but I don't get the rest

>>10908359
You probably already know what I look like; anyways, this is not the time or place.

'Nother one, I take the bus a lot.
>15, spring
>sitting in the back reading the paper
>two niggers get on the bus
>start rapping loudly, playing tinny beats from their phones
>I ask them to be quiet
>they quote waka flaka at me
>"Seriously, nobody wants to hear you, why do you have to do that?"
>"WELL Y U GOTTA READ YO PAPER LIKE DAT."
>"I'm not hurting anyone, you're annoying every other passenger here."
>they quote waka flaka again
>start raging, call them ignorant (wanted to call them ignorant niggers, but there was a black guy across from me)
>they get off the bus, quote waka flaka at me when they leave
>quietly seethe for the rest of the trip

>>10908470
I'll ride a bike if I feel like being environmentally conscious.

>Live in Southern California
>get on bus
>every other stop Mexican girl with at least 3 screaming fat kids all under the age of 7
>only person on the bus that speaks English
>feelsbadman.jpg

> first time taking public transit in Toronto, or any major city for that matter.
> I have a transfer from the subway, using it to get on the streetcar
> Not sure what to do with the transfer, if I just show it to the driver or if I have to give it to him, so I put it in the receptacle where the tokens are supposed to go
> Driver yells at me "ITS NOT A FUCKING GARBAGE CAN KID"
> never ride the streetcar again.

>>10908376

holyfuck... tim?

>>10908651
No way.....Matt???

Oh lawd, /r9k/ do I have a tale to give. I actually use it in my comedy act. I call the story "Hero of the Bus."

About a year ago, I was taking a 15 minute bus ride from my apartment to my university to save on gas and parking fees. Most of the trips were normal and uneventful, but the kids were pretty annoying.

One morning, this fat woman had her four year old son on the loosest leash ever, as the kid ran up and down the aisle screaming, while the mom just sat at a window seat, staring at nothing. To her, the kid was out of sight and out of mind.

I forgot to mention this kid also had some power ranger action figure in his hand while he was running around, waving it around and banging it on the poles and seats. Pretty much all the people are just ignoring and bearing it, but you can tell a lot of them are fucking hating this woman with the fury of a thousand suns.

And then the kid got really out of control and whipped his toy at an old lady. It hit her in the belly and it rolled to the ground. The kid non-chalantly picked up the toy and continued his shenanigans.

A man beside me, who had shown earlier signs of disgust, stood up and became Hero of the Bus that day. Before going into what he did, I should preface this by saying I kind of knew the guy. He worked at the Chick-fil-A at my university's food court, and was still in uniform from his shift. He was a pretty cool guy and would give people extra fries if they had to wait for them, and he looked EXACTLY like Charlie Murphy. He was a good-natured guy, but now he was in Angry Black Man mode.

"What the hell, bitch? What the hell?"

She moves her fat face from the window, almost taken out of a dream. "What?"

"Your kid! You got him runnin' down this bus like a maniac! Everyone here just wanna get home in peace, and we gotta put up with your shitty parenting!"

She wasn't even putting up a fight. "Aw, hey, he's not that bad."

>>10908662

pfft if you were really tim you'd know who i am. fail.

>>10908675
"No! We drawin' a line here today! And you know why? Because if we don't, then your kid's gonna turn in a criminal! He's gonna grow up where he won't be just your problem, but SOCIETY'S problem, and then my tax dollars are gonna be paying for his damn jail time. FUCK. THAT. SHIT."

I'm looking around at some of the old people at this time, and they are biting their lips and smiling. They look like they are going to orgasm over the hate this man is channeling toward this cow.
"Now I'm gonna take a shot in the dark, and say this kid ain't got no daddy!" OH SNAP.

The mom shrugs and says "Yeah..." Seriously. Like, 'Yeah, you got me...' It was that kind of casual tone.

"Well that STILL ain't no excuse for lettin' your kid go feral. You gotta put some discipline into that kid now or he's gonna be a pain in the ass forever!"

"But he's so tough to handle..."

>>10908710
"Bitch you got like 300 pounds on that kid! Sit on him!"

And then she decided to call her kid over and sit beside his mom, and he actually did it with no problems. Boom, kid was quiet the rest of the trip. Bus Hero sat back down beside me, but he was still ragin', so he just continued his rant to the person closest to him, which was me.

"Women these days man... they just wanna be a momma but then they don't wanna lay down the law and spread their misery to everyone else, know what I'm sayin'?"

Now, I'm speechless at this point, but I know I have to say something, so I think of the first thing in my head that sounds cool. Note that I'm a white nerdy guy talking to a very tall Charles Murphy. "Pffff, chyeah. Bitches, maaan."

The guy stares at me for a silent moment, and I wonder if I fucked up in some manner. And then came a slow nod. "Yeah," he said. "Bitches man. You get it, man. You fuckin' get it."

His stop came up right then and there and mine was six blocks later. I never met Bus Hero again, as I transferred to a new school this semester, but I'd like to think he's out there at some bus stop, telling some crazy bitch to get her kid under control.

Also, the mom and her kid were white, so let's hold back on the racist shit on this one.

>>10908618
come on man, don't be racist like that. you and i both know niggers also ride the bus. its not right to exclude them and their radios blasting shitty hip hop at full volume.

>>10908675
>>10908710
>>10908734
If your story was actually good or funny I would've stolen it and used it as a joke.

>>10908734
That story was fucking amazing. Thank you.

>>10908765
Fair enough. It kills in clubs, but it's also shorter in the stand up version. This was me remembering the whole thing.

>On the tube
>Late afternoon
>Football match
>Train is full of drunk hooligans
>One guy is standing in the door
>Door closes on him multiple times
>He doesn't even realise
>Staff eventually remove him from the train
>They left behind 5-6 beer bottles with handmade paper sleeves with things like 'GINGER BEER' and 'LEMONADE' written on them

Also, on another occasion
>Missed the last train, have to nightbus home
>Top floor empty bar one nigger
>We keep to ourselves
>Another nigger comes up
>Sounds of a scuffle
>"SCUSE ME, SCUSE ME"
>I turn around
>Second nigger is stealing the first niggers shoes
>"NIGGA DO I KNOW YOU GET DA FUCK OFFA MAH SHOES"
>Second nigger manages to get one shoe off
>Gets off the bus
>First nigger seems ultimately indifferent

>>10908734
>>10908734

dahaha, that's great

>>10908419
I don't undestand.

>>10908851

>it kills in clubs

It's not a joke. It's a cool story but not really a funny one.

Clearly you're nailing the delivery with that...

>>10908911

I'm interested in this aswell. What version do you use in clubs? I can't see any humour in that story.

>>10908911
I agree it's not a joke in the traditional sense, but it's a story where the comedic beats are found in a fed-up black guy wigging out on a woman's "future criminal" and the mom's couldn't-care-less responses. And yeah, I did have to work on my delivery on the characters, and the audience really enjoys the "HE'S GONNA TURN INTO A CRIMINAL" AND "Bitches, man" lines.

I know that comedy's subjective, but surely you can see the comedy at least in the situation?

>15 mins ride home from uni with the bus
>hear kids talking (6-9 y old)
>he1:"wanna camp?"
>she:" yeah sure. we can tell horror stories to each other."
>he2:" but plz not about hitler again"

>end of a little city festival
>catch last bus home with 8 friends who came to visit for this
>sit in bus for a 2 min
>"has someone seen Mark?"
>damn we forgot one of us
>he later found his way to a gas station, where some old woman took him with her and even gave him a sandwich

>>10908851
Well maybe you just don't live in an interesting place. Shit like this happens daily on my bus route

>On bus going home from busy college day
>Reading the Stand, have headphones on, oblivious to world
>Pickup truck cuts off bus
>Bus driver slams on breaks
>Suddenly I'm skidding across the bus floor
> End up tangled up with another girl at the front of the bus
>She says nothing. Goes back to her seat like nothing happened
>I'm bleeding and dizzy
>Bus driver apologizes quietly
>Drive car to school for the rest of the year

>>10909020

Your akward 'bitches' comment is humourous.

Aside from that the situation isn't really funny. That is unless you consider it ironic for a black man to be giving a lecture about raising children (which I don't).

It's a cool story... but I wouldn't call it funny. Just a guy getting pissed at an irresponsible mother.

>on train back home from fucking thee hour prac class followed by a two hour lecture at uni
>smell something funky
>look around
>fucking lady changing her babies diapers
do people not now about time and place or some fuckin shit?

Fuck all the naysayers, Bus Hero guy. I enjoyed the story and found the ending with your line and his response rather funny.

>new years eve party
>drink a bottle of wodka alone (0,7 l) and 4 beers
>go to the bus station
>fall down trying to get the bus
>wake up at home in my bed, "how did I get here?"
>everythingwentbetterthanexpected.jpg

>Late at night
>Get on bus with 4ish other people
>Someone pulls out a screwdriver and demands my bag
>I oblige
>As he tries to run off bus..
>Someone punches him directly in the throat
>hands me the bag
>never take the bus again
>mfw

>>10909148
I agree. In text form, it's not very funny, but I can see how it'd be definitely very funny with proper comedic timing and exaggerated voices and acting.

>On bus back from college
>Bus is filled with college students
>Everyone is yelling for some reason
>Old guy comes on, starts to join in
>Everyone is cheering and laughing
>Try to drown it out with maximum MP3 player volume
>Can still hear this fucking racket

God fucking damn it, I hated college.

>College also has a culinary school, so you can get free food, mostly side dishes if you ask for extras toward the end of the day
>working late and many of the other students on the same bus are carrying take-out containers of french fries
>asshole driver cuts off bus
>sudden stop
>what looked like 2 -2.5 of fries spill and slide down the aisle
>no one bothers to pick them up, and walk over the fries as the exit
>bus smelled like french fries for about after.
>betterthanexpected.jpg

>sit in a bus going home
>bus is crowded, im sitting on a seat that faces another seat like 0,5 m in front of me
>woman with baby
>woman woops out a tit and gives it to her baby
>try not to look
>nice tits though

>>10909198

that' supposed to read 2 to 2.5 pounds and about a week after

Jesus I need to get my shit together

>>10909131
I... disagree, man. I don't know what to tell you. For me it works because it's therapeutic comedy (which is some of the best comedy, imo) and because it's also a bit ludicrous: It portrays a guy blowing the problem out of proportion to a mom's surprisingly careless responses. I tell a bit about stopping a guy breaking into my car using similar themes, and it works too.

Thanks to the people who enjoyed it, though! It was a bitch to separate, but I'm glad you liked it.

I'm not poor and I hate the environment. I drive crackers.

>going home from party extremely drunk
>get lost in subway station, take wrong train that goes long way
>puke on said train
>get out, go to bus stop
>puke on bus stop
>get on bus
>puke on the bus
>get off the bus
>get on another train
>puke on this train
>get off my step
>puke while walking home
>walk into my bathroom
>sit on toilet, puke on the floor

for a skinny kid that was alot of puking. I just feel bad for whoever has to clean it up. And i was battling to stay awake whole trip. it was living hell