>Month ago
>At bar
>Hot tattooed barmaid asks me if I want to head out back with her
>Nope because my boyfriend will dig out our organs with a wooden spoon if he finds out

Bumpitybloxbloxbumpitybloxbloxlookatfrostygo

claire says: want to go to a movie with me and my friends

>she names some people
>"I'm pretty sure you made those people up"

>>1058343
>>1058343
women logic

>impregnate the worst genetics from worst of people
>try to get with people who are loyal and honest for themselves


yeahhhhhhh not going to happen

I have a few different situations if you're interested. Mostly with coworkers, but some random ones too.

>fatass neckbeard/chronic liar from school sits next to me and a friend one day
>he keeps interrupting our conversation
>"so, uh, I'm doing a survey for, uh, English class... have you two ever been hit on?"
both of us: "well, yeah.."
>"have you been hit on... in school?"
"...yes?"
>"how often?"
"....."
>he slowly creeps closer and closer as he asks this and puts his hand on my friend's shoulder
>"y'know, those guys must be real creeps to hit on you two..."
>obviously not for a survey
>this is also coming from the kid who's a butterball and claims to have been kicked out of Canada for breaking a snowboard over a mountie's head
>my friend and I both NOPE.jpg the hell out of there as fast as possible

>in high school
>was pretty popular with the girls because I was good looking and really shy, which was apparently quite adorable (pre-beta)
>gigantic, horrifying hambeast named Betsy asks me out
>jesus christ no holy fuck are you kidding you're 700lbs of pure ham
>"Um, no, no I just don't feel that way about you, Betsy. We should remain friends."
>"It's because I'm fat, isn't it?"
yes goddamn it you are the size of a small car

>>1058476
>claims to have been kicked out of Canada for breaking a snowboard over a mountie's head

I remember you talking about this guy in a bad people thread. Got any more stories?

>>Chick w/kid in my college math class has a kid
>>she likes me; fuck knows
>>I have a fiancee; she's a bitch, but I wasn't going to cheat on her with someone who's stereotypical pretty
>>She makes herself apparent; poses, some other childish shit
>>NOTE: SHE NEVER ATTEMPTS TO TALK TO ME; EVER! -- THIS is a goddamn deal breaker here
>>Anyway, bitch get's miffed
>>so she has her n!gger friend stair at me; I thought he was going to kick my ass or rape me so I did my best to ignore him
>>she later said it proved I was "gay"

I still hate that bitch.

>>1058499
I told all of my stories about him in that thread, I think. fortunately I haven't had any run-ins with him recently, so I have nothing new.

but tying in with this thread, he basically hits on anything that breathes and tells stories about all of the women who supposedly want his dick.
>"yeah, when I was back in high school[last year] I had a 6-pack and all the girls wanted me"
>"one time I got in a fight in school, and my shirt suddenly ripped off! all of the girls were drooling over my 6-pack and stroking my stomach"
>MFW he's 300+ pounds

oh god I forgot about this one, fucking creeps me out till this day

>girl with kid who's house me and my bro's would go to hang out and smoke
>she recently broke up with one of the guys (wasn't his kid haha)
>she calls me up to go over one day for a coffee and think nothing of it as I go there often but have no feels for obvious reasons
>She's put her kid to bed and is in the front room with a fold out bed in her nighty laying on it
>claims that it's really cold in the rest of the house
>oh god oh god
>chair in the corner, oh thank god
>sit on it and we're talking about random things
>she somehow manages to steer it towards discussing sex in general
>she drops hints in like "I haven't had sex in a while, I miss it"
>tells me how good she is at blowjobs
>try my hardest to avoid giving any signals back
>her nighty strap 'falls'
>NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE
>keep reminding her that once I have my coffee I'm going to go
>she keeps trying to get me to stay
>awkwardly get up and tell her that I've finished my coffee and that I really need to get going
>she grabs my hand
>I give her a quick awkward hug and GTFO out of there

Bullet so fucking dodged.

>>1058476

>stories about chicks
>lol well one time this BOY hit on me because im a GURL lol

>>1058476
I've read that story before... people were talking about "people that piss you off"

didn't he say he was on some professional team or something?

>Highschool, doing lights for a play (as well as a million other extracurriculars)
>captain of the cheerleading team who's acting in the play
>she asks me to private painting lessons with her. >Nope, I'm in a relationship.

I wish I had just cheated on my girlfriend and went out with the cheerleader.

3 girls had major crushes on me in middle school
>eww girls


no girl has liked me since that i know of

>>1058343
now that i think of it i have rejected quite a few girls in my life. most were too unattractive, overweight and some were just a bad match. im still waiting to find an amazing girl where it all actually works out for us.

>>1058343
hahahaha what

im so high

>in a band
>randomly get a groupie
>16, drunk, braces, butterface
>offers to have a threesome with my singer and me
FUCK NO
She's that repulsive.

>>1058548
yeah man, she might have sucked your dick. sure dodged a bullet there, well done

>>1058343

>middle school - highschool
>stalker keeps incessantly trying to ask me out
>She has no shape or form. She has a moustache and no pleasing features (like banana patty tits, droopy eyes, the whole 9 yards of NOPE)
>She asks me out, (middle school)
>Say no
>She cries
>apologise (beta)
>'temporarily' go out with her and break up (don't remember, been stoned a thousand times since then.)
>Highschool rolls around
>Myspace messaging is big, she's spilling beans to me for some reason
>wants to date me
>Feeling lonely (feelsbad) so okay
>avoid her at all costs, literally taking different hallways and everything
>She stalks me down to the school bus stop
>asks for a kiss
>THAT MOUSTACHE
>peck her cheek and run on the bus
>run out
>break up with her that day

I also remember having 3 pages of some kind of diary where she obsessed over everything I wore and talked to her imaginary friend about 'dieting'. Creeped me out hardcore.

Also, i'm that dude that has a REALLY REALLY hard time saying no if the bitch pitches a fit. Sucks.

>>1058551
look you cunt, just because that person is a chick doesn't mean the story can't be funny.

Have fun with no pussy until you get over you dumb as shit misogynistic views you hold for no reason.

>>1058571
I should have mentioned that I have a girlfriend who is way way more attractive and has no baggage like a kid and breaking up with a recent friend of mine.

A BJ from such a low-tier woman is not worth it regardless when I can get much better.

>>1058559
see >>1058545
and yeah, he claimed to be on a pro snowboarding team along with a ton of other bullshit. seeing as he talks like he has downs syndrome and is the epitome of a neckbeard, no one ever believes his shit.
and inb4 '>bitchesandwhores.jpg, he's the male equivalent of a weeaboo landwhale

>>1058551
Femanon here

Just because this was a thread specifically labelled that it was about chicks doesn't mean that we can't post here about guys too, why do you have to be so misogynistic? gosh.

Femanon out

>>1058637
OP here, it's pretty much NOPE.avi stories about people we wouldn't touch with a 39 1/2 foot pole. Gender doesn't really matter I guess.

>>1058666
If you're really OP, what made this thread interesting was reading about women being rejected, women talking about creepers isn't that interesting and so common.

But whatever, it's your thread you sell out.

>Working at shitty minimum wage fast food job.
>Almost every week, there's at least one day where for the first few hours of the morning I'm the only male on staff.
>I do not consider myself to be particularly good looking or anything, but I get hit on a lot. Fuck if I know why.
>One of the managers was engaged to some guy for like two years before suddenly breaking it off because she "didn't want to be tied down."
>Very next day, only minutes after I learned about this, she steers conversation towards sex.
>After a few minutes of talking, and her hinting very hard, she all but straight out says she wants to have sex.
>Not interested, at all, but do not want to be alienated when I'm the only guy for the next few hours. So I just play dumb and act like I don't know what the fuck she's getting at until she seems to catch on and drops it.
>That was close.

Part 2:
>Same place, same scenario etc. Different girl.
>Also a manager, she's known for getting around. She's been with a lot of the male employees in the past. Seems I'm her next target.
>She's always been overtly crude and sexual in talk so I think nothing of it. I do the same back, thinking it's just banter, etc.
>Wake up one day to find out she's texted me a bunch of nudes I didn't ask for.
>She's actually not unattractive, but I have no interest.
>When I get there, she gives me that look, and all I can say is something like "...Interesting message I got this morning."
>"That's all you have to say about it?"
>"...Yep."
>About ten minutes later, she corners me alone in the stockroom and says she wants me to, quote-unquote fuck her brains out.
>I play it off like she was joking, laugh a bit, "ha ha, good one" etc. and get the fuck out of there.

Fuck this job, I just wanna work and be left alone.

>>1058568
>>1058568
same here lol ia m high as fuck lol

>>1058551
You're a dumbass. You can shorten every post in this thread like that if you switch the genders, it doesn't mean shit.

>the community college I go to is swarming with weeaboos
>they sit on one side of the cafeteria that no one else dares go over to
>play yu-gi-oh and watch anime together
>all of the weeaboo girls look almost exactly like pic related
>all of them are desperate and stalk any guy that gives them the slightest bit of attention
weeaboo girls are the worst, man.

>>1058715
I don't really care either way, I just want good stories. That was decent enough, by no means do I want:

>Der was this guy that was gicky and he tried to ask me out and it was funny.

I guess that's sort of her story in a nutshell but I can picture the guy she was describing to some effect.

>>1058721
Part 3 because field was too long.
>Same job. Different girl again. (Fuckin' seriously?)
>This time it was a bit more innocent. One girl started to develop a crush on me overtime. Again, fuck if I know why.
>She's a nice girl, but I'm not interested.
>I don't really pay attention, much, unless people are very blunt (like the first two), so it takes me some time to even notice, but I finally do.
>Becomes more obvious when three other people tell me in the same night at a party that she's fixated on me.
>I don't want to hurt her feelings, so I just try to ignore it.
>She doesn't have the courage to say anything about it, which is ok with me so life goes on.
>Until she finally does get the courage and forces me to end up turning her down.
>I feel like an asshole even after doing it as politely as I could manage.
>She doesn't seem to get it, and tries another five times.
>I no longer feel bad.

Part 4
>Girl who USED to work there. Yeah, some variety up in this bitch.
>I actually dated her for a short while before I realized she was trouble. You know what made me realize? She liked to frequently remind me that, according to the law in our state, women can't rape men. I thought it was funny until the seventh time she brought it up out of nowhere. It didn't help that she was a knife enthusiast.

>>1058776
>>1058776
>>1058776
I want to work with you ^_^

>>1058801
It's stupid, man. I'm a martial artist and could easily defend myself if I wanted, but I let them beat up on me all the time and don't fight back partially because I just don't give a fuck, and partially because nothing they do actually hurts anyways.

They fuckin' keep track of me too. For awhile I put that I was in a relationship on FB just so they'd maybe back off, but all it got me was incessant questions and curiosity. So I made the joke like "what, you spying on me?"

Yes. Yes they are.

>>1058721
>"...Interesting message I got this morning."
>"That's all you have to say about it?"
>"...Yep."

That killed me.

>hang out with friends at the bar at some extremely shitty party.
>there's a lot of folks around for some reason. Far more than usually.
>some guy comes to us and starts talking with us. Only 2 girls from our group know him.
>he talks a lot to me for some reason.
>starts talking gay bullshit to me.
>turns out he's a faggot.
>tell him to gtfo.
>he doesn't.
>about to beat the shit out of him.
>realise that the party is shitty anyway and leave.
>feel beta after remembering that, even if there was no reason on earth for me to stay at this party.

I should have beat his crap.

>>1058721
>>1058776
Oh man, your life must suck so hard. Women tripping over themselves to suck your dick. How DO you manage?

>>1058845
Most of them aren't really that attractive mate. A couple are, sure, but the rest...eh...

It doesn't help that most of the people working there have a history of drug problems, or have kids, or insert whatever other red flag you want here.

I guess if you don't care about any of that, then it'd be great, but I do.

Also I have a very low sex drive, so it's actually more annoying/uncomfortable for me than it probably would be for most other guys.

>>1058835
Yeah, I didn't really know what else to say. I realize that probably sounds super beta, but since I wasn't actually trying to get with her, fuck if I care.

Hey OP she just testing to see if you'd do it

She was never actually going to do anything with you

>>1058756
Hey, sounds a lot like my school.

>>1058476
>claims to have been kicked out of Canada for breaking a snowboard over a mountie's head

oh god thats the first time ive seen this story.

>In Las Vegas this past summer for bro's bachelor party
>Go on this club crawl
>Sit's pretty cash, hit on this smokin' hot blonde
>Went with four of us, lose two
>Try to find them, then decide fuck it
>Two shots of whiskey (here we go)
>See this taller, 7/10 east indian girl
>She's with her friend, 2/10 (best I can do)
>Bros diggin' the 7/10
>I guess I'll take one for the team
>Pre-occupy the 2/10 with drunk small talk while my bro does his thing with the other girl
>She's into him... and the 2's into me
>They take us back to they're hotel
>Bro and 7 disappear
>Alright... time to leave
>2 goes on about having a boyfriend back home, and how he has a kid that she helps take care of
>Says she thinks we should just "go crazy on eachother"
>NOPE.
>In my drunken state, tell her I'm in love with someone
>She says it's okay, forcefully kisses me
>NOPENOPENOPENOPE
>Push her away saying almost exactly that
>She immediately leaves, hear her crying
>Leave and get a goodnights sleep

>>1058874
I'd agree with you but I found out at a party the next night that she tried to ask out a friend of mine 4 days previous. He was thinking of going for it till I told him my story.

She wanted a sugah daddy.

>>1058964
>NOPENOPENOPENOPE
>Push her away saying almost exactly that
>She immediately leaves, hear her crying
>Leave and get a goodnights sleep
God I love not caring about other people's feelings.

>>1058609

And this, ladies, is why you don't get knocked up by scumbags while you're in a toxic relationship, and then try to find a good provider after the fact.

Aside from the logistical issues of dating and a relationship involving a child, NO man wants to take care of a kid that's not his.

Fuck you, you stupid skanks.

>>1058545
>banana patty tits
>lolwut

hahahah this thread is actually pretty funny.
please continue

>go to party
>have several drinks
>fuck it, let's be social, thinking about killing myself anyway, why not try for once
>talk with a pretty okay looking girl
>conversation's really flowing and what not
>music gets quieter
>put my hand around her waist, look her in the eyes and then whisper in hear ear
>"How about a shag?"
>She blushes, smiles and nods
>mfw

fuck, I forgot that the kid who 'got kicked out of Canada' friended me on facebook. he looks much fatter in person, I promise.

Part...what am I on now, 5?
>I went to the bar once.
>I don't like bars, so this is sort of a big excursion for me.
>Mainly, I wanted to get drunk but didn't want to go to the liquor store.
>No intentions to socialize. Didn't even pretend to flirt with bartender who did, though I know she was only doing it because she thought I'd tip her more.
>As time went on, it got more crowded. Bit louder. Made my head hurt.
>I was getting ready to leave when some girl and her friends came to the bar at my side. They looked really young, like they had just barely turned 21 or maybe even had the rare convincing fake ID's.
>Bartender was occupied with other people, so in the moments between, they turned their attention on me, the one guy by himself who seemed like he had money judging from the amount of empty glasses arrayed before me.
>"So, are you gonna buy me a drink?"
>"So, are you gonna suck my dick?"
>You can imagine their reaction.
>MFW one of them actually thought about it like I was being serious. Also I have no face.
>So I told them, sure, I'd get them a drink. When the tender came back I asked for some free water and gave it to them before leaving.

>>1058776
>>1058721
so beta that you become alpha.
you are doing it right

originulcommentisoriginul

>>1059145
Ha, I guess you could look at it that way. I think it's because I'm actually not interested, and therefor don't try. I don't know. I don't claim to understand women.

>Girlfriend is fat and mexican
>Her fatter, mexican-er friend tries to have a fling with me

Bitch, I'm not going to cheat on my girlfriend with a bent can discount version. At least be open to anal.

>college
>girl tells all her friends that she and I are dating
>this information comes back to me, via friend of friend
>thisbitchismisinformed.jpg
>She says "You can make my lie true, if you want"
>No thank you

>>1059112
>dat shirt

welp at least he has nice handwriting.

>Frequently talk to fat chick in my major, share some things in common, but wouldn't bang.
>Forget that talking to a female is always translated into interest by woman logic.
>Ignore her attempts to make me ask her out
>Get asked if i'm gay
>say no
>Lose co-worker friend who I got along with well.

Jesus christ, someone was batshit about being friendzoned.

>>1059161
spoken like a true man.
cheers to you anon

>chick with aspergers
>talk with her in person a few times and on im once
>she develops crush
>tells everyone; word spreads quickly
>starts hanging out where i hang out
>takes pictures of me in class
>monitors the websites of local concert venues and whenever an artist that i like is set to preform she posts facebook statuses asking if anyone wants to accompany her
>starts hanging around the school gym on days i have cross country practice
>sends me pictures of her. close ups of her eyes. pic related, got this one from her facebook
>one day she engages me in conversation on my walk home from school and attempts to follow me to my home despite the fact that I am clearly uninterested only to be turned away once we reach my block

it was very awkward and i felt bad, but eventually she just lost interest.

>>1059267

You're being stalked by moot?

>This is probably unoriginal

>>1059267
So...green...

>>1059120

>So I told them, sure, I'd get them a drink. When the tender came back I asked for some free water and gave it to them before leaving.

Alpha as fuck.

>>1059267

She has such enchanting eyes.

>>1059218
this reminds me there was a girl at my school who was in love with a male friend of hers forever. he might have slept with her i think, but definitely didn't want a relationship.

they went overseas together when school finished and she told EVERYONE they were dating and he felt too bad to be honest after she had told so many people, so he stayed with her for like 6 months.

>>1059267
That sounds really cute... why didn't you jump on that?

>>1059284
>>1059317
Here's the rest of her.

>>1059372
Looks guy-ish. Nothing horrible though.

>>1059372
A little manly but still cute imo. I like the way she's decorated her room... Why can't I have an abnormal girl crush on me like that? :/

>>1059267
man how could you turn down an aspie chick
that's like half of /r9k/'s dream

>8th grade
>moved into new school
>regarded as biggest nerd due to my /v/irgin tendencies
>constantly bullied
>most attractive girl in class, this sweet, sweet girl with the body of a young woman that kept away from the cool kids, though was widely regarded as one of them started flirting with me
>I took her by the hand to talk in private
>explained to her why I could never have a relationship with her due to my lack of skill in relationships and social situations it would cause (me getting beaten up by any and all of her stalkers)
>she seemed mildly hurt by my words, but said she understood
>got beaten up for making her cry (?) but she stepped in and saved my ass, temporarily mind you
>feelsbatman

>11th grade
>Hot socially awkward redhead from the 10th grade starts talking to me
>We become good friends
>We have a lot of common interests, but contradict each other on them constantly
>We both were writing short stories and poems, but she took the modernist no-rhymes-no-structure-no-skill approach whilst I took the symbolist everything-rhymes-everything's-structured approach.
>My stories were 20% cooler.
>She felt challenged by my ignorant talent
>I felt challenged by her academic knowledge
>Turned her offer of being more-than-friends down because my only friend had a massive crush on her (had initially only hung out with her to give him a shot)
>Never tell her that, she thinks I'm an asshole and that I think I'm better than her when my choices in literature are limited.
>feelsbatman

>A cute, smart girl from uni starts flirting with me
>Claim she's not my type, when in fact I ejaculate prematurely
>Stick to average and above average girls that lack social skills to ensure my secret remains safe
>Tfw I'm slowly but steadily approaching thirty and haven't had a relationship in over two years due to performance anxiety

>>1058551
Are you actually autistic?
this fucking story is much more irrelevant
>>1058548

>>1059362
Some of it was kind of cute. Some of it I thought was a little weird. She told so many people about me that eventually it got to the point where I would meet people for the first time and they would be all "oh so YOU'RE the guy she's been talking about so much." My friends gave me a lot of shit over it. It really didn't help that I was also a lowly shy beta guy who wasn't used to this kind of attention, and to be perfectly honest I wasn't that attracted to her.

I suppose the jokes on me, though. I also fall in the category of guys that had girls crushing on them in high school and don't get anything afterwards. I've since heard that she does really kinky things in bed.

>>1059456
Jesus Christ, you passed up on my dream girl... You know how jealous I am right now?

>back when I was in high school
>this one girl was always asking me out
>I always played it off saying I had to be somewhere
>she was an 8/10 redhead with freckles and a nice ass and all that good stuff
>at the time I didn't want a relationship
>tfw looking back I should have jumped on that when I had the chance because I'll never get another one like that ever again.

>>1059372
More please? none of the pics you posted are real good to come to a conclusion

>>1059218
>thisbitchismisinformed.jpg
this needs to be an actual picture

>>1059372

She looks like whatshername who was partnered with Noth on Law and Order: CI

>>1059030
I wish I had some patience left to tell you how your hate and resentment derived from an internet bandwagon is blinding your logic and excluding many scenearios that are not trailer park thrash related.

Fuck you.

>some fat whore (but I didn't know it at the time) tags along with my me and some asshole asspie I used to hang out with
>fucking weird proportions, moustache, no tits
>about 30 minutes in she outright asks me out
>like a beta faggot, I say yes
>no personality, christfag who tried to make me give up video games and join the church
>and then three weeks later I stopped talking to her because fucking NOPE, not even a breakup, just stopped talking to her
>few months later find out that she is a whore with multiple boyfriends, and during the time I was with her I was the main beta of her group, the one that does all of the boring shit and has to endure her bullshit
This was a horrifying experience and I wished it never happened, I have no face to express my emotions so enjoy this never obsolete computer instead

>be 14
>chilling with a cutie friend (girl)
>on a couch, watching a movie together
>sex scene
>she puts her head on my shoulder
>hand on my thigh
>"Mmm.. I'm feeeling soo comfortable right now, Anon"
>Looks me in the eye.
>Gently bites my ear.
>"Umm yea, I'm feeling okay too.. you want me to get us some soda?"
>Get up, go to kitchen
>Come back
>She's sitting on the other end of the couch, watching the movie and looking upset

Another:
>be 16
>family vacation
>being the usual shut-in
>in a room alone, reading a book
>hottie cousin of my age comes in, wearing only panties and bra
>"Hey, Anon, mind if I change into my swimsuit here? There are people elsewhere"
>"Yea sure.. I'll turn around"
>She smiles and bends forward, squeezing her titties while licking her lip.
>"You don't have to."
>"Uhh, it's okay."
>Turn around, facing wall now.
>Hear her stand there for a minute or two, then leave.

It's not like I didn't want to fuck them, but for some reason I was just totally oblivious to the hints. Now I'm 20 and still a virgin.

>week long school camping trip, first year at this school so don't really know anyone since it was in the fall
>first night
>talking with people
>girl comes up next to me and puts her arms around me
>imokaywiththis
>next morning
>realize she's really fucking ugly
>end up hanging out with hot chick and her friend rest of the week
>ugly girl still tags along sometimes, but never says anything
>obvious that she liked me; I gave no fucks
>ended up cuddling with the hot chick on the last night for an hour
>that feel

>help a girl with math
>she's half black and pretty cute
>next day she says we should go out
>we are both 6
>ew, that's icky.

Caught up with her years and years later. She turned into a jesus freak.

>At club
>Girl is interested in me, tries to keep kissing me
>Keeps saying I'm gorgeous
>Tell her I only like men
>She jumps back visually disappointed and exclaims "Awwwwwwwwwwww D:"

Still get her number and have her on FaceBook

>>1059481
I'll admit, if I could go back I would have given her a chance. Truth be told I've done shit like this several times. I had serious girl issues because my mom split on us when I was a little kid and all my Dad did was bring home occasional tramps (just for the record, that was not the reason for the split, mom was sort of a tramp as well and wasn't very good at being a mom so there was some kind of custody thing). I was a massive beta in high school, but apparently that was somehow a drawing factor to some girls. Pic related also crushed on me for a while a few years before this girl. We went to elementary school together and I remember we used to have staring contests together. She was very intelligent and actually ended up being the valedictorian of my graduating class. I regret not acting on that too.

>>1059495
I'm looking. She doesn't have many on her fb, but she's probably in some mutual friend's.

>>1059519

This bitch is misinformed.

> be in high-school
> there was a rather unattractive and annoying 5' tall Greek girl, who skipped a grade or two, did nothing but study, and sucked up to teachers - had had a few conversations with her because of shared classes
> catch word via several friends that she has a crush on me - let out a big "NOOOOOOOOO...!"
> avoid her like the plague
> all is well

>>1059564
Maybe it's just because I'm a perv and spent far too much time on the internet growing up but I was always on the lookout for wincest opportunities. I really wanted to bang my hot, big breasted 20 something cousin as a young teen.

>Be on the bus with this girl that I go to school with, heading back from the nearby city with friends.
>Having great conversation with her, laughing ect.
>"You know, anon, you're quite charming. I like talking to you."
>"Uhh, I...uh...really enjoy talking to you as well."

And that was the last time we spoke. A shame too, considering how how she is.

>Best friend tells me there's a girl he likes
>See her in Uni cafeteria, invite her to eat
>Her supposed bi friend (female) supposedly hates men
>We all hang out that night and become friends
>Next day bi friend starts lusting after me.
>Trips me onto the ground and tries to kiss me.
>nope.jpg
>Tell her I just want to be friends.
>Her: nope.jpg
>Spend 3 weeks of putting up with her cuntiness and later we remove her from the group for trying to break up my friend and his girlfriend and it's believed she only wanted me to stay close to my friend and girlfriend
>SHe was a short chubby cynical cunt and we laugh whenever we see her.

>>1059624
I'm fairly sure most guys have fantasies like that. Stigmatization and social unacceptability are the best fetish fuel.
Anyway, she became an ugly fatty, so I'm not tempted to ask her about that day anymore.

>>1059593
She's a 5/10 bro. Just average, it could go up or down if you show a body shot

>>1059639
So what? It was a group decision to kick her out of the group? Do you just have votes on who gets to join/dismissed in your group? Do you also have a hierarchy as well?

>>1059673
What's wrong, are you upset that nobody wants to be friends with you because you're an insufferable autistic cunt?

>Moments chicks hit on you/asked you out and you NOPE'd

>>1059673
>>1059684

(Lets call my best friends girlfriend my lady friend for this)
When you find out that the cunt was mentally and physically abusing my lady friend, we agreed that she was no good to keep around. From the way I always tel the story, it comes off as this to some.

>Two girls who are close
>Two guys who are close
>Girls become friends with guys (two start dating)
>One guy reccomends removing lady friends original friend

Yes it seems wrong but I cannot stress how bad of a person she was. She was constantly bitching. Faked being a bisexual and hating men. Goes on about her money. I can go ON.

We didn't even vote on it. One day she caused my lady friend to have a fucking panic attack and she practically left on her own. But we let her know how we felt.

>>1059684
Uh, nah bro. No need to hasty mate. You just sounded like an elitist cunt. And stop thinking everyone on r9k1 is autistic its a poor defence mechanism to hide your insecurity bro

>>1059673
It's called getting shunned the fuck out of the social circle/group.

As an example, some shit went down between a bro and other bros, and it caused a strong rift between that bro and that smaller group subsection. Eventually, after HS, the subsections drifted apart.

But in general, if some shit goes down that's bad with the whole group, then the fucker gets shunned.

>>1059728
Well...this is actually me.
>>1059721

Still no luck on finding pics of the first girl.

>>1059647
She's pretty cute in my opinion, dude. Though, the things that really get me was the fact the we had kind of a history, she was smart, and she wasn't a whore. She's conservative enough to the point that this is pretty much the most revealing shot I could find after searching through a few albums. Point being I should have dated her because she embodied a lot of the qualities that I had a hard time noticing in girls at the time.

I've always been really embarrassed to admit it, but the only relationship that I had while I was in high school was with a girl with BPD I met online. It ended really badly for me and I spent the next few months in a big slump before taking up religious exercising, and, of course, after that point I started attracting an entire different breed of girls: ones that rated higher on the dbag scale, were a lot more high maintenance, etc.

Only problem was that since they were perceived as hotter I was even less likely to talk to them due to being immensely beta at the core, and of course they were above doing anything other that occasional flirting.

>that feel when you know you're pathetic and you belong on this board

>be in college
>strike up conversation with classmates being friendly
>one of them is a fat chick
>not against fat people so its cool
>realize she wants to fuck
>NOPE
>she's throwing hints and giving me the hungry stare
>I consider ti cause she's fat not ugly
>but NOPE
>she's sloppy fat, the worst kind
>she says "wanna fuck?"
>I say "NOPE"
>weeks later she's with another guy
>says to me "I could have Fucked me" as if I were jelly
>Pokerface

>>1059593
Holy shit that guy behind that chick looks like the shunned bro from my post >>1059741
Wasn't named Manny, was he?

>On the bus
>Hear these two high school girls say something like "that guy is gorgeous". One of them is fat and the other is chubby but still okay looking I guess.
>Assume they're talking about somebody else like the guy who just got off the bus
>They wave in my general direction
>Assume there's somebody behind me
>Continue thinking about my jujutsu class
>They come back and sit in front of me and start talking
>Tell them to fuck off and ignore them for the rest of the ride

>walking in hallway in middle school
>random black chick and her friend come up to me
>"excuse me, my friend likes you and wants to know if you would go out with her"
>not particularly attracted to african americans
>make up some lie and say I don't want to date till 16
no regrets

>be acne ridden teen
>first girl in my room
>watching a film
>she says lets go on chat roulette
>lolok
>"lets put a show on for them haha"
>starts putting her tits in my face
>basically giving me a lap dance
>she wants to watch porn
>yeahokwhatever
>pop boner
>she starts rubbing my dick through jeans
>you should get it out under the blanket
>nah i'm ok
>i hug her with a boner
>she leaves

Lol, i can't believe that. What was wrong with man.....WHAT WAS WRONG WITH YOU?!?!?

>>1059768
I have no idea who that guy is.

>>1059784
Haha wow. Were you not attracted to her or what?

>>1059798
Totally was, she was a 9/10, had dat ass and massive tits with a slim body. I was 5/10 at best.

>>1059806
What was your logic for turning her down then? I mean, I can understand being scared of making the first move, but if a girl I liked who was in my room started rubbing her tits in my face and point blank asked me to fuck her I think I probably would have done it.

>at least I'm not the only one

>>1059819
I guess i was a little scared since i thought she was way out of my league and just messing around. Too beta to do anything, she ending up banging this skinny poor kid. Feelsbadman, would have loved to get some of that.

>>1059538

I dislike your implication that all of the situations that fit the template I described are resultant of 'trailer trash'.

While you are correct in your other implication that many single mothers are such because of very reasonable and respectable circumstances, I would wager that the overwhelming majority of single mothers with children under the age of 10 are such because they were/are...

A) careless with their sexual activity
B) careless with who their sexual partners were (In conjunction with A)
C) careless with regard to their decision to become pregnant while outside of a relationship/in an unstable relationship/in dire economic straits

>I was in grade 9 and one of the most attractive teenage boys in my school (that was before i became the way i am now as a result of depression)
>5/10 chubby girl asks me out. A lot of girls wanted to date me but never had the guts to ask me out. But this girl did.
>I told her NO, and then laughed with my friends
>She probably cried the whole night (i really feal bad about what i did back then)
>Fast foreward to grade 12. She had a makeover and lost weight and was one of the hottest girls in school. All the hot chicks started hanging with her. All the guys wanted her. She had many BF's.
>And me..
>Well, i did'nt even have a date for the prom

>>1059819
>be at /r9k/
>don't understand how being a beta works
Lurk and learn. It's fabulous.

>>1058343
>Back in high school just before summer vacation.
>2 girls (4/10 and 5/10) I know come up to my house
>The fuck? What are they doing here?
>Anon, we need to talk to you, can you come outside?
>Sure, why not
>We came here asking for a favour. We want you to go out with Hippo McHambeast the 3rd (-0/10). We asked her who she likes, and she said she was in love with you. She also said that if you do not go out with her, she is going to commit suicide. So will you go out with her.
>No
>What? Anon, are you that heartless, she is going to kill her self. We won't allow that, you must go out with her
>I don't care if she dies, but I am not going to sacrifice that little reputation that I have for something like that.
>Wow Anon, with that kind of attitude you will never get a woman. You need to lower your standards.
>Yeah, fuck you two. I'm still not going out with her, she is ugly as fuck. (and I walked back home)
>(was just about to go around the corner when I heard) LOSERBITCH!!!!
>Shrugged it off and went playing video games.

>They got some desperate skinny asspie guy to go out with her. Saw them together, she wore a pink ballerina fairy princess tutu. What has been seen cannot be unseen. Those dimples in her hamlegs and fat belts inside that stretch nylon.
>mfw I fucking dodged a nuke.

I did not get a date, because I never asked anyone, but my god was I happy that I did not have that latched on my arm.

>Be in Digital Design class
>Chubby Italian girl and her even fatter friend both point out I look like Napoleon Dynamite and laugh at me
>She excessively talks to be and I assume she was trying to make it up to be.
>Turns out the both like me
>They both talk to be about inane shit and I blow them off
>The Italian one one time dressed slutty and had some perfume that smelled like Oranges. Because oranges remind me of sex amirite...
>The Italian one shadows be around school venues all year
>This goes on all year
>One time I flat out flip them off
>They don't get it
>The Italian one gives up (after a YEAR?) and dates some roody poo
>The fat one is still at large
>I was working at Wal Mart one time and she says to me "Wal Mart, always low prices" 'Always low prices always." Because I must be obsessed with Wal Mart if I work there.
>She has this odd idea that I like her.

>>1059827
Bummer. Well, try to look on the bright side i guess...there's always the chance that you avoided catching an std or getting her pregnant or anything like that. Besides, it was a learning experience, right?

But still...

>>1059846
From now on, oranges will remind be of sex.

>be on vacation with best friend
> she gets into a fight with her entire family and runs off onto the beach
> i go with her (feeling awkward about staying with them) and we end up sitting in a lifeguard chair after the sun goes down
>she tells me she's in love with me
> i say "i'm guessing you don't mean that in a platonic way huh?"
> she gets more upset...
> i continue to make bad jokes and panic inside even though i want her.
> tell her we should stay friends.

i completely fucked up, but we ended up together anyway once i stopped being a moron and it's been a little over 7 years so far.

pic related it's her mom's face when she found out that i'm not gay i'm bi and fucking her daughter.

>>1059853
Shit, i don't think we had any condoms, she wasn't on bc either, probably wouldn't have gone all the way then....ah well, might hook up with her soon.

>>1059112
I'd definitely kick him out of Canada.

>>1059839
I totally get being a beta, but everyone has their own reason for why they are one.

>>1059872
Agreed. He looks like a fucking creep. I'd kick him out of Canada too.

>Be in grade 3
>Little girl shows me her pussy
>I show her my dick
>We both touch each others genitalia
>Teacher sees what we are doing
>Teacher pulls down my pants infront of everyone and slaps my ass
>Get a huge boner
>Everyone laughs, teacher gets horny
>She takes me into the storeroom
>Sucks my dick and fingers my asshole
>Could never date after that due to depression and self hate
>I turned down every girl that has ever asked me out

>>1059872
>>1059886

I'm going to go ahead and ban this kid from the united states before you kick him out of canada.

Sorry, Canada, but we can't have that sort of thing down here.

>>1059898
Get outta here eh

We already banned him from Canada, he's your problem now

>>1059897

Is that true?

trueblox

>>1059915

I thought kicking someone out of Canada meant that you put them on a large piece of ice and pushed them out to sea?

>>1059886
How comes all these creepy retards are left handed? Seriously, every single fat, greasy, autistic retard I've ever met was a leftie.

>>1059916
yes. that bitch fucked me up.

>>1059926
HEY. I'm left handed and i'm a boss.

>>1059926

so does that make us ambidexterous people just confused??

>>1059926
Maybe they think it makes them cool?

>>1059897

Either you lived in a shithole country or you burst into treats afterward.

Which is it?

Story #1
>be 8th grade
>friends tell me some girl I've never talked to but had gym class with has my name written all over her arms with hearts
>she's 5/10 extremely average looking other than being pretty tall
>laugh it off and go on with life
>freshman year of high school same girl sitting near me in english class
>still never had a conversation with her
>friend of mine asks me if I'll go to homecoming with her right in front of her and several other people
>I lol and NOPE instantly
>never felt bad about it because I always thought it was a joke because I didn't know her at all
>never had a date to any dances in high school
>realize that almost every girl I've ever asked out probably feels the same way about me as I did with this chick
>come to /r9k/ at 3 am as a junior in college at a party school with no plans for the next week and a half

feelsbadman.jpg

Story #2 coming up

>>1059963
america

blaxxxxxxxxxxx

>>1059923
That was more or less my meaning when I said I'd kick him out of Canada too. I'm not even from Canada. I live a bit further south, though not too far.

I'll post mine.

>Be in 7th Grade
>Get to school early foggy day
>Walk around and find a kitten behind a storage shed
>ohpoorthing
>How do I do this...?
>clear out backpack
>Put kitten inside
>Likeaboss

>Close to Valentine's Day when this happened
>2/10 girl hears of my heroic deed
>"Hey anon, will you be my valentine?"
>Felt bad for her so I accepted
>at Lunch
>her fugly friend comes up to me
>"Anon, Angel wants a kiss from you since you two are dating"
>nopelol
>Stopped being her Valentine.

I did it because she was nuts and I didn't want to kiss her

The Kitten was found out about during 3rd period and it was taken to the pound.
Never Forget Nachos the Cat

>>1059995
You insult us be saying he ever would BE here.
I mean, hitting a mountie with a snowboard? bull.

>>1059968
Story #2
>18th birthday party
>2 girls at the party have a crush on me
>one tells me via text
>being me I'm shocked that a somewhat attractive girl likes me (6/10 no tits but more than made up for it with dat ass)
>we go out for a few months
>turns into a complete bitch and no one talks to her anymore
>find out other girl like me (8/10 much prettier face and great body)
>would have chosen her over other chick in a heartbeat
>have huge crush on 8 for 2 years
>she doesn't feel that way about me anymore
feelsbadman.jpg.gif.avi
>stop crushing on her and finally move on
>be new years party very drunk
>8 hits on me the whole night, also very drunk
>when the new year rolls in she's on my lap and we kiss multiple times
>wake up and shit's awkward
>no one acknowledges what happened on new years
>that feel when she's probably had multiple nights like this at college and dgaf about me
>that feel when trying to fight off returning feels

>>1060005
Canadians are fucking weird. Not as weird as Alaskans, but pretty darn close.

>>1060021
lol troll is troll. Appreciate the attempt though.

>>1060032
Okay, not ALL Canadians, but you know there are areas of Canada you'd never ever go to. It's like going to the Bayou in Louisiana. Ass-rape imminent.

>>1060038
*facepalm* a bit better but still. appreciate the effort my friend.

>finally post my story
>come back expecting replies
>everyone talking about Canada
>mfw

>>1060074
It's fucking Canada. The Land of Wonder. Home of the Behemoth. I had fun on my trip, but my friend lost his keys battling the behemoth.

>>1060074
sorry man, we're just too damn awesome NOT to talk about. I mean, a country with less people than california being on g8?
LIKEABOSS!

>>1060074
OUR HOME AND NATIVE LAND

Now that we're talking about canada, do you guys still have those awesome homesteading laws? It seems like it would be fun to just go up there with my weights, my punching bag, my 200 pound anvil, and just drop off the grid.

>>1060140
err probably not. back to topic.
>>using double dash cause fun. HAH!

>All through Gr.10 girls hitting on me.
>Short, stocky build.
>didn't know they were even hitting on me until gr 12.
>...when told by my friend.
>still happens

This episode brought to you by being oblivious!

>>1060140
Up north I'm pretty sure they do still, but I think you'd have to be a Canadian citizen though.

Looking back now, this one was pretty funny:
>Go to bar with two friends
>We're having fun, laughing, little bit drunk, etc.
>Girl staring at me all night, she's a 6/10
>When we leave, one of my friends thought it would be funny if she "introduced" us to eachother and so she did.
>Other girl is over the moon thinking I liked her.
>Try to look uninterested but don't want to make her feel bad.
>End up arranging a meeting next day at the same bar.
>WTF YOU FUCKING IDIOT
>We meet and after chatting a bit I decide I still don't want anything to do with her.
>Get drunk, offer to take her home
>She takes me to a motel, she pays for a room and condoms and she fucks me.
>Whathaveidone.jpg
>Keep getting texts daily, she wants to see me again, offers to pay everything.
>Can't take a hint
>Stop caring about hurting her and tell her to leave me alone.
>"Oh :( I guess you don't care then"
>I don't reply
>Never bothered again

>Until I bumped into her two months later...

>>1060214
and then what happened?!

mutebloxforeal?

>>1060214
(CONT)
>She tries to get it on again
>NOPE.JPG
>Told her I had a gf
>Had to go pee
>She asks my friend if I'm single
>"yes"
>When I come back she's all over me nearly taking my shirt off even though we are in a fucking bar.
>Push her away and leave.
>Feel like a cunt so we decide to give her a ride home
>Not as drunk as the first time and my friend was there, thank fuck.
>Text bombing again for months

She claimed she was a virgin until we fucked. Judging by how she practically raped me I didn't think so but her clingyness did seem weird.

>My friends now share the story every fucking time I'm at a party with them.

>>1059421

>Modernist
>Free form

nigga you stupid.

>>1060021

Hey we aren't that weird...
Seriously though this is one of the few relationship things I can talk about (21 kissless virgin)

>7th grade and it's the first dance of the year
>Moved back to school I used to go to and become friends with an old childhood friend from preschool she's a 2/10 but talking wasn't horrendous.
>She asks me to said dance to which I immediately go NOPE.jpg seeing as I wasn't going to go anyways.
>She says if I don't she'll sit in her room and cry all night, at this point I feel a little guilty and say I'll do it.
>Get to dance just hanging with her friend which is normally a bro and my friend when they decide they are going to play matchmaker.
>They say I should go in the next slow dance and kiss her when she's listening to this.
>My eyes go wide and I panic for a moment before I go NOPE of the north star and bolt into the crowd as fast as I can rolling hide in plain sight checks the entire time.
>It mostly works until they find me right before the last dance of the night and I do the slow dance but luckily don't have to do the second part.
>She assumes I'm her bf and for the next week I treat her like I always do.
>She gets me to go on a date the next weekend and we just hang while I play video games.
>Monday I get a note from her saying this isn't working out and we should break up, I fist pump right then and there in plain site and never talk to her again after the year.
>My friend still makes fun of me to this day over that fucking bastard...

>14
>in arcade of a movie theater, playing some motherfuckin ms pac-man
>some girl with braces walks up to me
>asks for my number
>tell her as I'm playing
>never calls me
does that count?
a mystery from my childhood that will never be revealed.

>>1058570
she was so ugly i refused homo sex

>1st week of college
>social scene is that of small social groups, since its a small college
>crazy short chick makes her way into mine
>she gets my number from a friend or something fucking stupid like that
>she makes strong hints and moves towards me the best she can while in our group
>i ignore or pass off all of them
>eventually texts me shit about how she doesn't like pursuing and she's going to stop
>finally
>she doesn't stop

>one time she sat on my lap while i was having a conversation
>continue the conversation anyways
>get annoyed by her
>pause the conversation
>point out how she had no ass
>turns out she cried about it
>still kept pursuing me regardless

if she was a dude she would have had her ass kicked by now. i have more stories if anyones interested

> in year 8
>school slut come up and starts rubbing my legs under the desk
> saying sexy slutty things to me
> next day she comes up for a hug,
> NOPE.JPEG
> "fine I'll hug someone else"
>never speak ever again

> avoid STDs with great success

>12 years old at local swimming pool
>group of girls the same age also there
>one comes up to me "will you go with my friend?"
>"which one's that?"
>she points to the only fat one
>uhhh...noooo

>>1059752
Man, you should've gone for that. Perhaps you still should?

>girl asks me to prom
>nope
>save money on tux, limo etc
>buy new graphics card and ram upgrade
>playing vidya on prom night like a bossss

Ok, I'll bite.

tl ; dr versions.

>Ugly or fat woman starts a casual conversation.
>Politely excuse myself asap.

A female coworker realised how I dodged the fat chicks @ work and said to me that she found it lulzy.

Story #2

>I love twiggy looking girls
>Reaaaaaaaaally cute, nice girl shows that she's interested in me.
>I coward out.
>whydidIdothis.bmp

3rd story

>Go out with some friends
>Meet girl. She was a solid 7.
>Exchange phone numbers
>Go out toghether during the following week.
>I find out she has a kid (she told me) and one of my friends told me she doesn't know who the father is. I find out this is true.
>Friend zone her.

>Be in club with 2 female friends
>At bar with one of them
>Some girl comes up and asks if we're together
>We tell her no
>She introduces herself to me
>I introduce myself back, say its nice to meet her, and leave
>woops

>be a few months ago
>drunk in club
>sitting down cos room is spinning
>hot brunette tries to chat me up
>i have a gf
>get up and shout FUCK OFF IM TAKEN!!
>she gives me lolwut face
>get up and walk away

not a girl story but what the hell:
>be last night
>dancing at club
>guys notice me and invite me over (straightfag here)
>asks me if im gay
>lol NOPE.jpg
>says he would shag me so badly
>shit a billion NOPE's
>get up and walk away

fml

>be aged of whatever
>go out with friend
>try to hit on that cute girl
>get rejected/ignored
>snorlax hit on me
>ignore/reject
>repeat

>be 13
>sitting in car with dad, waiting to pick up sister
>get a text
>it's from some girl in school
>she asks if I want to go out with her, very politely
>I give her the typical "I think we should remain friends" even though I've never spoken to her before

I just didn't want to go out with her. Didn't find her particularly attractive. Years later she turned out to be extremely dirty. She lost her anal virginity before her actual virginity and did it in a garden at a packed party. She was also a dancer so she had a tight as fuck body.

In retrospect I could have been up in that but hindsight is a wonderful thing I guess.

> Shitfaced in a rand club(first time I have been out)
>Waiting in line at bar to buy drinks for me and some slut that I was trying to fuck
> sexy tight lil brunet comes up behind me to wait in line
> I turn around see her, turn back to bar
> she taps me on the ass to get my attention
> "Hai I am femanon, I just thought I would tell you how sexy I think tall guys are"
I am 6'7
> Sup, I am anon... anyway I am trying to fuck that one over there so cya.

WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY. I ended up making out with the other girl, I took her home but we both passed out as soon as we got into my bed, The next morning was awkward as fuck :|

>>1061765
story of my life

kfjvnjanvjdfblox

>just fucked ugly girl
>she's not getting the hint to leave
>cuddles up with me
>"so what's your favourite food? We should go for a meal"
>"no I don't like food, I've got a presentation in a few hours, can you leave me to get some sleep..."
>"I like fish & seafood, all that kin..."
>"look, just leave"

Never been asked out, that's the closest thing to it.

>have cunty whore friend who wants to hookup her friend
>decide to meet up one day with both of them
>go shopping before though, get nice clothes
>when I get back my dad tells me 2 girls came by and for some reason has a troll smile on his face
>know it was that girl I needed to meet up with
>head over to her house realize there is a giant land whale playing b-ball with my cunt friend
>realize why that friend is a cunt
>get hassled by dad for liking fat girls

>Bro is dating 7/10
>Bro constantly messages me on Facebook wanting to meet up
>No no no he is my Bro not doing that shit to him
>She breaks up with Bro
>"So are we all good to go now"
>No
>Why anon?
>Never gave her an answer just left it

>Be 8 months later
>Haven't been laid in over 2 months
>Fapping just not cutting it
>Ring her
>Hey do you think maybe....?
>Sure anon
>Fucked her Sunday just passed didn't even cum

Karma

Been asked out several times, too beta to agree to date them cause I was scared of the outcome.
>mfw ive only had 1 girlfriend
>mfw no face

>sitting outside my lecture hall waiting for lecture to start
>girl from one of my seminars comes and sits next to me
>we talk for a little bit, she mentions she is hungover
>say i am a bit too after going out with bandmates previous night
>she says "you're in a band?"
>yep.jpg
>"oh that's cool, what do you play?"
>sing_and_guitar.jpg
>"that's kinda hot actually..."
>nope.jpg
>end conversation, walk off somewhere else

She was a 2/10 wouldn't bang anyway

>go on date with oldfag
>was terrible, no chemistry
>stalks me for 2 months
>change phone, IM info, etc

He wasn't particularly creepy or ugly. We just had nothing in common and I didn't want to lead him on. Turns out he was super creepy.

I'm not what you would call good looking either. Would think he could have done better than me. Have no idea why he got so obsessed.

>be 14
>talking online with this girl from my school
>she's literally social cancer
>she sends 'i like u'
>then 'do u like me? xxx'
>NOPE the fuck out of there, blocked and deleted
>she was too beta to say anything

>walking home from college
>friend tells me that another girl, who is also social cancer, fapped over me
>also said i could fuck her any time i want
>don't fuck that, jesus no

>talk with girl on Myspace, great pictures
>agree to meet up and hang out just off campus where she goes to school
>she's WAY heavier than in her pics, cute face but small boobs and bigger than I like
>have an obvious disappointed look on my face
>she's really clingy and eats a fuckload at lunch
>we go back to her dorm, she asks how much fun I've had
>told her not much, that she lied about her weight and proportions and it pissed me off
>told her she did have a cute face and that she could make up for it with a blowjob
>made her worship my cock, slapped her with it, came once in her mouth and once on her face
>left, ignored all messages since then
>mfw she got married less than a month later to some guy who looks like he isn't all there

She did give some good head though, and she had a cute face. Small boobs on a fat girl is just terribly unattractive, plus, she lied about it.

>sleep in same bed with best female friend fairly often
>she starts to casually see one of my good friends
>I'm still talking to and fucking my ex-girlfriend in a weird pseudo-relationship
>said ex-girlfriend and this girl are about to move in together
>half awake in the middle of the night
>she starts jerking me off
"Wait, we can't hook up."
>awkward laughter
>go back to sleep

We ended up fucking kind of recently though when we were both shitty drunk and sleeping in the same bed. I'd just been through a rough break up.

Also,
>go to party
>9/10 girl there
>"Anon, are you and (ex-girlfriend from above) still dating?"
"Yeah, it's going really well" (flat out lie)
>Leans in to start making out with me
>regrettable nope

>Really drunk and horny
>At a party, everyone's too drunk to drive so people are all crashing in various parts of the house
>Me and this beautiful blonde with huge breasts end up sharing a bed together
>Call girlfriend and let her know that I'll be sharing a bed with this girl out of necessity
>She tries to cuddle with me but I lie with my back to her and go to sleep
Fuck everything, she's in a long term relationship now so I will never have the chance to hit that again.

>>1059564
YOUR COUSIN?! that's fucked up.
you're a retard cus of the first story though.

>>1059863
so cute. and FINALLY a happy ending.
good luck to you both
and lmao at her mother finding out about you

>Be friends with a really hot woman
>she has an amazing personality, isn't shallow, 10/10 body, stronger than she looks, brave, smart
>been too beta to ask her out
>she asks me out
>I'm a slightly overweight unattractive guy with a slightly smaller than average dick, am afraid of roaches, and make very little money, but am smarter than her
>Greatest day of my life, hesitate and say I love her as well, make lots of mistakes which she labels as "cute"
>3 years later, relationship has only gotten stronger, we never argue
Feelsgoodman.jpg

>in high school
>cute chick 7/10 is flirting with me
>stealing my phone and taking her picture with it, gettin all touchy feely
>wants to make out IN CLASS
>suddenly get terrible slut vibe from her
>NOPE.gif
>chick starts making out with ugly mexican midget sitting right next to me 10 seconds later
>mfw I dodged the herpes bullet
>mfw me and mexi-midget coul have gangbanged her in class if I wanted

Britfag Occupier here
>Be at occupation. Chillin in comrades tent smoking with comrade Biff
>2 drunk girls stumble in from nearby bar
>Both 18. One is 9/10, smokin hot petite blond with nice tits. Other is 7/10 Curry girl with great ass.
>Sit down with us. 9/10 sits with Biff and bitches about high uni fees (9k annually). We all have a good bitch at university system.
>7/10 sits with me and says she can't go uni because she has kid.
>Asks if that bothers me. I say no.
>7/10 flirts with me until I get out the weed.
>Both girls say they do weed all the time. Both white out.
>Me and Biff place them in a bed pod in tent, and drink to chance we never had.

>>1062697

>in high school
>twilight movie is blowing the fuck up
>bitches be calling me edward cullen
>6/10 cute girl, slight chub round the stomach, troubled past with drugs
>walks up to me, bends over, grabs titties, shakes cleavage at me for couple seconds
>not_bad.png
>walks away
>noped on the inside a little

>>1062657
How tall are you and her?

>>1062657
good 4 u dude

>>1062777

>on school field trip
>sitting in back of van in between all the females
>putting on my mask of sanity as per usual
>different 6/10 chubby chick grabs my hand from behind the seat
>not_bad.mp3
>holds onto my hand for several seconds
>dont squeeze back
>she lets go
>christian_bale.jpg

>>1062778
I'm about 6 feet or so, she's about 4 inches shorter.

>>1062837

>in class
>pretending to sleep
>clingy fat chick sits next to me
>whispers in my ear "I want you inside me"
>NOPENOPENOPE.jpg

>>1059267
This is pretty much how my relationship with my ex started.

Long story short, I'll never date an aspie again. They're fucking insane, no matter how cute tendencies like that can be.

>>1059840
>>mfw I fucking dodged a nuke.
SON, I AM PROUD

>>1061645
"why dildo this"

>>1061445
>point out how she had no ass
>turns out she cried about it
This genuinely made me laugh out loud. I'd feel kind of bad about that, though. I remember accidentally saying something similar without though to how sensitive some of the ladies are to that shit.

My friend pointed out some chick and asked what I thought of her. I said something like "she's cute as hell, though it's too bad the poor girl was born without an ass." We both start to laugh when we heard an audible gasp from behind us.

Some other chick had overheard and was staring at us with this wide-eyed, horrified look. The funny thing is that it wasn't a pissed off, fuck you assholes type look. It was more of a horrified realization that her ass was also that flat.

>meet chick off the internet
>she's a 6/10
>sitting on my bed watching movies
>it gets late and we decide to go to sleep
>half an hour later she's all over me
>she climbs on top, dry humping me
>look up and her silhouette reminds me of Yajirobe from Dragonball Z
>brain and penis instantly scream out NOPE
>lose erection
>roll her off me and go to sleep
>tell one of my friends and we both laugh about it
>4 years later and we still laugh about it whenever it comes up

I seem to always run out of things to talk about with people, even my good friends. My mind goes blank and I start to sort of panic. Is this social anxiety or am I just retarded?

>>1058409

I thought that said tattooed mermaid at first

UNDAR DA SEABLOXBLOXBLOX

post your ages you dicks! i'm 24 and have never been hit on(not surprising though) so i love to at least moderately know what it feels like by reading your stories...

>>1062084
>ashamed of something 90% of /r9k/ could not accomplish

>best friend leaves his "girlfriend" at my place because i rarely sleep and she apparently didn't want to go back to his and sleep
>put on a movie i was planning on watching regardless
>she's sitting right next to me and texts me that she thinks she might like me
>turn to her
>"By having sex with my best friend that automatically means nothing can ever happen between us"
>"You don't like me?"
>"your cute and not annoying, but nothing is going to happen."
>"i won't tell if you wont"
>"i don't lie to my friends"
>go back to watching my animu
>she has a look on her face for the next 2 days like a little kid who was just told santa clause didn't exist

thinking back that was pretty alpha, but it ended with me and my hand so you be the judge

>>1063670
You did the right thing dude.
Don't regret it.

>>1063670
>animu
>>


Most people are probably gonna say beta but I would have done the same. I'd pick the few close friends I have over sex any day.

>inb4 virgin
I'm not

>>1063670
ALPHA. AS. FUCK.

m00tbloxaregay

>be me
>girls hugging me all the time for no reason
>never hug back because Im han fucking solo

>Be at a nightclub in my town, it's a pretty well known one, but it's a 'quiet' night
>Despite being I get quite a lot of female attention and I've been told a LOT that I'm very handsome.. so I'm not just bragging. quite handsome, I'm still beta as fuck
>myfeethurtIjustwanttoplayvideogames etc
>Some gothic slag slinks up to me whilst I'm sat down
>Friend notices this
>Doesn't help me, just puts his right leg over his left and rests his chin on his palm with this shit eating grin
>'You cunt' I mouth to him
>The gothic slag tries to grind on me
>Now I'm pretty drunk, and have a foot fetish
>look down at her feet as I see she has lost her shoes
>MOST REPULSIVE LOOKING CROWS FEET I'VE EVER SEEN, OH GOD THEY'RE SO YELLOW
>mfw
>Visibly nope and push her off me
>Turns out I didn't 'visibly' nope
>Shout 'NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO' at the top of my lungs and THRUSTED her off me with my pelvis
>She falls on her hands, gives me a foul look and walks away to find some other meat
>My friend is in hysterics trying to get the rest of our group to tell them what happened

It was a pretty funny night I guess~

>>1063819

Oh god, that shit sounds hilarious.
You seem like a pretty cool dude. You should act so beta.

>9/10 face with 10/10 body
>she was blind fucking drunk
>she could barely walk, had already vomited and was still drinking
>nobody would go near her at this point
>me sitting backwards on a couch playing my psp
>comes up to me and starts blatantly asking if i want head
>tells me she can deep throat
>by this time her make up is destroyed and she smells like vodka and vomit
>her: "come and see this!"
>drunkenly drags me to a room (it was a fucking study and there was no bed there)
>she pulled her dress off without using the zip and ripped most of it
>she pulled her panties down and hit her head on the desk
>she passed out with her panties around her ankles
>gave her vag a quick feel, finger and probe because i had never seen one in person before
>got the fuck out of there before i got blamed for something
>she accused 3 guys of raping her that night
>i was not one of them
>she didn't even remember who i was
>also apparently one took a video of her giving them head so everything else she said had no weight

that begs the question, would you have done something in my position?

>>1063389
I knew a guy in high school who was born without an ass. Literally, he had no ass muscles. He took a full minute to go from sitting to standing and had this bizarre way of walking.
Never underestimate the importance of your ass.

>be at Knott's Berry Farm in socal
>be with group of friends
>underage comes up to me as I'm at the knocking-pins game
>I know they trying to set up a friend
>NOPE and act oblivious

Son, I may be 6/10 and in need of a chick, but I ain't going to jail for some chick I don't want. Also, no tits/ass, man. Also,

>be october 2011
>bro has fuck buddy
>fuck buddy said she was 17-going on-18
>bitch was barely 16
>also chunky
>bro urges me to have a go
>decide might as well loose the v-card
>drink a tallcan to help me tackle this Shrek's Wife of girl
>can't get it up (tallcan, fapped twice earlier, also Ogre-ness of chick)
>dodged a bullet

I'm thinking my subconscious NOPE'D me out. I'm a hunter, man. I can't take someone else's catch. I gotta catch my own. Too bad I can't summon up the courage to ask a chick out. Thank god for beer/weed.

>>1061645
Guess you're not a motherfucker.
YYYYYEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You think you guys are oblivious?
WELL GET A LOAD OF THIS!

>Girl in one of my lessons
>Pristine 8 / 10
>After sharing a lesson together, we end up walking to school together
>'TEHEHE, anon you're SO FUNNY!'
>whatisthisdoesshelikeme?
>HOW can this 8 / 10 like ME?
>Anyways, I'm invited to her birthday
>Turn up
>I'm the only one who turned up
>...
>Apparently I was the only one who was invited
>WAT
>We go upstairs to her room
>She pins me down at one point and starts working on my hair
>Her groin rubs against my pants
>'Don't mind that'
>She looks me very seriously in the eye, I can smell her breath. Smells like mint, so she had brushed her teeth recently
>'I'm a professional.'
>Her crystal blue eyes are piercing through mine, trying my best to restrain my boner
>She works on it for ages
>Makes my hair look fucking amazing
>'You look really hot right now anon.'
>'Haha, yeah thanks.'
>I leave the house giving her a hug after an hour
>She never talks to me again
>Ask myself 'WHAT DID I DO WRONG?' for ages

I was a fucking retarded 15 year old. Yes, it turns out that due to my low self esteem, I didn't realize I was actually very hot in some girls eyes.

In the end, turned out the girl was a bit loopy, but otherwise still pretty popular. WELP.

>>1063867

No because too many people saw you leave with her. If it had just been you and her then fuck yeah time to get your dick wet and take pics.

Hindsight is 20/20 but at the time it would have been stupid to take the risk.

Gotta know when to rape my son.

>first time ever at a club, going with friends
>awkwardly attempting to dance
>fat girl comes up to me
>at the time I was into chubbies, so I listen
>she says "my friend wants to dance with you!"
>motions over to a dude
>ffffff-
>too beta to refuse
>"...okay."
>try not to make eye contact despite being very close to him
>after a minute he gets the hint, shakes my hand, leaves.
>ten minutes later offers to buy me a coke since I'm under 21
>no thank you.

hmmm i got quite a bunch of these

> This girl and I went drinking one night
> we drink a few beer and a bottle of bourbon
> she kept bragging about how much she could drink so I think she'll be fine
> goes to the bathroom, throws up, keeps saying she wants to drink more
> time to go, she can barely walk I carry her to the street
> I ask her where she lives, but she won't answer
> Asks me what I think about having sex with her
> NOPE.JPG
> Refuses to tell me where she lives because she wants me to have sex with her
> Search her, find her phone
> I have to call her fucking boyfriend to know her address
> Get on taxi, carry her to her apt
> Her dad opens, I return the girl
> Her dad has loved me ever since then

Also in highschool I was a pointyelbowswouldntfuck kind of guy, yet my friends and my brother were always trying to hook me up with chicks. Some of the bs reasons I gave were "too tall", "looks too much like her brother" and "does not have black hair".

>>1063865
Cheers man.

Maybe we should meet up and play video games and go to the gym?

HEH. Still kicking myself about this one.

>last March
>girl in Civ Pro class, thinks I'm cute
>wants to hang, texts me "good morning" every day
>ignore that shit, cuz bitches aint shit
>finally let her come over
>we hang, have a good time, realize she's hot. Solid 9/10
>needs to go to airport next day
>offer to cook her dinner before she leaves
>agrees, but wants to spend the night since my place is closer to the airport
>herp derp sure
>make her dinner, drinkin wine, her shirt comes off
>holy double Ds batman
>make out, eat her out
>get nervous, tell her I really like her go to sleep
>never got the pussy

I realize now after eating her out I should have fucked her with the force of 1000 locusts.

>>1064055

another one
> at a friend's house, it's party time
> i recently got back from a business trip in chingchongland
> friend wants to introduce me to this 6/10 chubby gook girl
> apparently he has planned for me to fuck her
> invite both of us to his room
> after 5 secs says we probably got a lot to talk about and leaves
> i can hear him lock the door
> this girl is eyeing me
> i bang on the door until my friend lets me out

I later developped a fat asian chick fetish and now regret passing on this opportunity

I'm a late 20's foreveralone, but I do have some standards:

>Cousin's wedding a few years ago
>Reception is at a dance hall
>Pressured by sister to go dance
>Most of my family is hardcore conservative so there is no booze
>iamnotdrunkenoughforthisshit.png
>Step onto the dance floor
>Alright this isn't so bad
>Feel someone grab my hips from behind
>Turn around
>whoooOOOO MY GOD
>2/10 whale
>nope the fuck out of there
>Haven't danced since

Currently

>Have a stalker
>decent body, butterface, white trash vibes
>shows up to my ice hockey games
>all up in my facebook grill
>suddenly likes all the music that I like, even though I like retarded unpopular shit like Leo Kottke and 19th century Russian romantic composers
>seems to be adopting my speech patterns and slang usage
>already told me she wants to take a ride all up on this
>pretty much treat her like shit, admitted this makes her want me more (the alphafags were right I guess)
>still noping
>that face.. I just can't

>be in medical school
>some people tell me im good looking but im pretty anti-social, depressed, and just feel fatigued and like shit 99% of the time
>i gave up with girls when i was in HS so i only talk to ugly girls because i feel comfortable around them. so i talk with an older nurse, shes really nice and i talk with her every day while doing rotations
>beautiful nurses everywhere but i ignore them because im scared to talk to them/make eye contact
>older nurse tells me some young nurse my age is obsessed with me
>points her out
>solid 9/10
wat
>proceed next couple months ignoring and avoiding the hot nurse, when i see her i begin to sweat and have arrythmias so i take different routes to avoid her
>now done with rotation at that hospital and finally stress-free

>at an anime convention
>panel "mystery hentai theater 3000," where we heckle hentai movies
>projector trouble
>I comment projector looks like a dalek
>girl next to me: "OMG I love Doctor Who! I love David Tennant! He is THE Doctor!
>pronounces it "dock-TOR"
>says it like that several times in succession
>I like Tennant as much as the next who fan, but to me this sounds like nails on a chalkboard. Also, she inadvertently just dissed a lot of classic Who.
>She turns to me, says I kind of look like Tennant.
>"uh... nahh. Hey look, the movie's starting!"
She was actually pretty attractive, or at least seemed that way in the dim room. It's just... she was kind of irritating and I didn't want to hook up with some random convention bitch.
>mfw four years later I'm still a kissless virgin

>summer between 6th and 7th grades
>be at swimming pool
>hot girl from up the street is at the pool
>hey anon, come play
>sure, derpina
>jump in water
>she swims up
>hand into swim trunks, starts playing with cock and balls
>nope.jpg
>jump out, run to pool locker room to hide boner

should have let her do it. in retrospect as a grown man I would've invited her back to my place and taken her to Poundtown.

>>1063960
rough man

i've got a simular
>be 16
>girl (solid 8) openly greets me far more enthusiastically then the rest of my friends
>i was oblivious to this at the time
>invites me to help set up all her new ikea furniture for her room
>ride my beast of a mountain bike around to hers
>her parents are not home
>furniture is all over her floor
>we put it together
>she puts her hand on mine whenever she can
>she rubs up against my back with her chest "by accident" many times
>she was wearing a school skirt and bent over in front of me a LOT
>makes us food, brings me drinks
>we talk about who at school is going out with who
>one time she refused to give me the Alan key so i had to wrestle it from her by pinning her down

from square one i could have pinned her down and fucked her

pic related
OC of my face when at 2 in the morning about a year ago

>>1063670
You did good Anon. You've got your self respect, and trust of your friends. This is more important than getting your dick wet.

Here's a recent one for you anons

>be YESTERDAY
>girl from the law school is over, checkin out the crib
>"give me a tour, anon"
>show her bedroom, "this is where the magic happens" in my cheesiest of cheese MTV Cribs voice
>"omg your bed looks so comfy"
>she gets on bed
>she lays on bed
>she writhes on bed
>get a slight boner, armpits start getting sweaty/itchy
>nope myself into oblivion
>take her home later on
>texts me that I should have fucked her
>clevergirl.jpg

>>1064225
You realize the point of going to cons is to find nasty con-sluts, right?

Why else would people dress up for it?

>>1064331

Yeah, at the time I thought anime conventions were for anime, silly me. I ended up wondering why they weren't any fun and stopped going.

>>1064242
You fucking moron. What is going through your mind when shes touching you?

>I wonder why she's touching me...this is weird....

>A month ago
>Cool party with some friends, all femanons
>One friend is completely drunk, so me and another friend decides to take her to her place, because she clearly can't get there alone
>Not drunk friend goes her separate way, drunk friend is not so drunk anymore
>We talk and I decide to sleep at her place cause it's too late to get a bus to my and it's too far to pay a cab
>at the bus going to her place she grabs my hand and start rubbing it on her leg
>NOPENOPENOPE
>Tell her to stop, she does
>She lives with her mother so I believe she won't try anything
>ohsillyanon.jpg
>couch is too cmall so sleep in her room, on a matress laid on the floor
>She jumps on me, I go full NOPE again
>She says she'll scream and say I grabbed her if I don't fuck her
>mfw when i was raped

>>1064308

Why didn't you sir? I really want to know.

I don't fuck chicks cause my dick doesn't work and my dick would like your dick to explain what happen.

I knew this girl named Booty Becca that was super christian, and for some reason she didn't want to lose her virginity before marriage so she just let guys fuck her in the ass.

She flirted with me a few times but i was always disgusted by the knowledge that she was borderline retarded and had at least ten guys buttfuck her

>>1064308

You still can do it moron.

I never understand how someone such as a lawyer (like you're training to be) or doctors on here have problems with people. You better fix that if you want to be successful at your job.

>Be in relationship, break up.
>Following day, decided to meet-up with sexual interest whom I've been having an emotional affair with for a fair few months.
>We go to a lonely hill together, proceed to kiss and grope her boobs
>2 minutes into it I stop and cry, tell her I can't do this, it doesn't feel right
>so much beta_unleashed.jpg
>week after this I was back in my previous relationship
>this was a year a go, we've both since then broken up and are no longer in a relationship - no shit Sherlock Holmes
>biggest regret is the realization of the fact that gurl whom i cried to, desperately wanted to loose her v-card
>all my juvenile betaness combined
>she sits in front of me in history. I don't think she told anyone what happened on the hill that day.
>I openly joke about this to my friends, so it's no secret

>>1064348

I never thought I would go to a con in my life until I went to one last year. Drunk whores all over, like more so than college. I'll be going again heh

>be 20
>best friends little sisters friend (15) is around mine because we are taking her and his sister to a friends house later
>the girls are on my bed watching a movie
>fast forward a week
>no fucking idea how, but she got my phone number
>full of "we should have a movie night"
>she knows full well where the only tv i use is mounted
>over the next week she shows up unannounced a few times
>i come up with shit excuses to not let her in
>one time i can't come up with one good enough and let her in for a bit
>i figure i'll put a movie on for her and i'll play on my computer
>put the movie in
>she crawls on to my bed
>she's wearing a skirt and sits in a spread legged position
>she's not wearing any underwear
>NOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPE
>tell her i have to go somewhere and she has to go
>i push her out the door, lock it behind me and get in my car and drive

and that my robots is how i avoided being raped to death in jail

>>1064374
because the only thing on my mind at the time was mountain bikes and wakeboarding
that and i was a really really shit teenager

fuck, after seeing all this thread, i rather be an 16 years old kissless little shit than have 6/10 women kissing my ass

>>1064242
What was her reaction when you did the "Welp got the key now back to work" routine?

>>1064453

MFW when 15 is the age of consent over here, and girls that age usually date 18+ guys

>>1064482
right after she did one of the more gratuitous bending over the desk to get something and her skirt flipped up

FUCK YOU FOR MAKING ME REMEMBER THIS SHIT

I KNOW I FUCKED UP

>>1064488
it's 16 here

actually the social backlash would have hit worse then the law

>>1064135
>iamnotdrunkenoughforthisshit.png
I loled

>Meet girl on dating site (NEVER AGAIN)
>She's into the vidya, interesting stuff, 22 years old
>She calls me all giggly and is like HEY ANON IM ACTUALLY 17 IS THAT OKAY
>I'm like uhhh I guess we can talk (kind of a large age gap of 6 years)
>Talk to her on the phone that night, she's actually kinda cool, she tells me she can't text but can use her friend's phone
>She texts me a bit when I'm at work, enjoying the texting
>All of a sudden starts telling me she wants me to fuck her and eat her out
>wat, I sorta go along with it but also kinda not because text message jailbait proof
>That night she texts and says she's actually the girl's friend, talks all kinds of shit about her and says we should date instead (she's 16)
>She's really slutty and talks about how much she loves to give oral
>Sends me nudes over the next few days
>Original girl finds out and calls me all pissed off like I THOUGHT YOU LIKED ME
>Her friend calls and says STOP TALKING TO HER SHE'S A BITCH WE'RE FIGHTING
>Get into some weird love triangle, keep getting nudes
>Eventually I told them to just back off if they're going to act so immature

Jailbait is not worth it.

>fat chick at my school I knew through mutual friend
>obsesses over me at lunch
>always told me "how pretty I am"
>has an obsession with taking candid pictures of me
>like other side of a crowded room enhanced zoom candid pictures
>excited to go on class trip to germany
>she goes too. fuck
>more candid pictures, europe edition
>any picture or status I post on facebook, she likes almost instantly. It's like radar or something
>eventually she buys a car and she knows I'm pretty handy with cars
>"Why don't you come over and teach me how to do some things"
>NOPENOPENOPENOPE
>always avoid every invitation to be places with her
I just wish she'd go away.

>>1064539
You fucked up! You could have fucked 2 underage vaginas.

>>1064419
>>1064398

She's Latina, and intimidating. If she were of any other background I would have blown her back out but for some reason I'm afraid my performance will be substandard.

It will happen, though. She's out of town back to NY this weekend to see her mom, and then next weekend she wants to "study" for a class in which we're both taking pass/fail.

She also said she hates condoms. I am excite.

>>1064557
They lived like 10 miles away and both of them talked about how their fathers were really high strung around their boyfriends so nooo, I think I dodged a bullet there.

>mfw I still have all the pictures

>be very young, around 10
>chick is always around me
>gives me a kiss on the cheek one time
>WTF
>call her a whore
>walk the fuck outa there

>now she lives far away, I get to see her about once in a year and she's insanely bangable

>>1064552
Now for a time I fucked up:
>8th grade
>end of the year lacrosse banquet at a local pool
>the guys and girls teams both had parties at the same place, same time
>good time hanging with my bros and such
>sitting by tree alone waiting for my mom to pick me up, all my friends already left
>2 girls walk over to me
>one is kind of chubby, meh face, but overall tolerable
>the other is skinny, petite, and fairly cute
>the skinny one flat out says to me "hey, you're cute"
>i just say thank you and make awkward small talk
>eventually my mom comes and i leave
>i didn't do anything because I had retardedly high standards at that point in my life
>i never even got her name
FUCK FUCK FUCKING FUCK. Thinking back, It's honestly one of the biggest regrets of my life.

>>1064552
ive got one sort of like yours

>just bought an evo III to fix up and eventually track
>hambeast has mad obssesive crush on me
>finds out i like imports
>sells her hyandai and buys this PEACE OF FUCKING SHIT skyline
>this thing was beat harder then a white trash trailer wife
>calls me whenever it breaks down (which was 3+ times a week)
>everytime i tell her to call roadside assistance and that i'm busy
>calls me up one day screaming and crying saying "CAN'T YOU TELL I LIKE YOU YOU BLIND ASSHOLE??!"
>scream "whale" into my phone
>never hear from her again

>>1058343
>make terrible life decisions
>expect people to like you

What a cunt, you dodged a bullet there OP.

>>1064385

Why'd you nope anon? was she ugly?

>>1064539

Nigga you best be sharing those nudes.

>>1064612
Haha, maybe. I have to leave but maybe later if the thread is still alive.

>>1064592
not related to this thread but similar story

>7/10 girl flat out says she thinks i'm hot at a school dinner
>reply (think the bosses son from the IT crowd)"You're not too bad yourself."
>then really cheesy and almost sarcastic "would you like to have intercourse in the bathroom?"
>Her: Sure
>ended up bare backing her in a bathroom stall

moral of the story
if they are being obvious, you be obvious as well

Not so much a NOPE.jpg as a Whatthefuckjusthappened.jpg
>8th grade Washington, DC trip
>museum or some shit
>girl comes up to me "Hi, where are you from?"
>"ohio"
>"I'm from New Jersey, and you know what?"
>"What?"
>"I think you're cute"
>...what...
>I have no face
>she giggles and walks away
I figured she was just a bitch doing it for the lulz. I still think that's what happened.

>hmmm. I need a haircut
>nearest place is in a mall.
>fuck, I don't want to go to a mall, there will be people there.
>take some ativan and a lortab, the combination is a very smooth, relaxed and casual sort of high
>okay, i'm ready to go.
>go to the mall, and right away I wish I hadn't gone. People, people everywhere.
>nevertheless, press on! a haircut awaits!
>the hairstylist/ whatever shaves my head like I ask, but also straddles my lap and shaves the sideburns/ neckbeard, grinding on my crotch and telling me to relax because she does this for her husband all the time
>offers a complementary head rinse
>the feeling of an attractive woman massaging your scalp while looking deeply into your eyes
>leave the salon/ haircut place/ whatever
>eat lunch in the food court, but it's a bad idea, the pills are wearing off and there's people everywhere and I feel like I can't maintain anymore.
>a couple of little girls come up to me and stop at my table
>they cant be more than 13-14 years old.
>hey, do you have a girlfriend?
>what? why?
>my friend wants to go out with you! She says you're really hot!
>the other girl nods
>How old do you think I am?
>uhhhh, 17?
>I'm 32. I'm old enough to be your dad.
>shocked faces
>well that's fine, we won't tell anyone!
>my turn for a shocked face
>I have to go. Excuse me.
>run out of the mall
I don't care that I have to drive all the way across town for my haircuts anymore. no more adventures like that, please and thank you.

>>1064575

Good choice anon. Those are some ugly beasts.

>>1064575
>>1064575
>>1064575

You said that because your going to post the pictures right?? You didn't just say that shit for no reason right?

>>1064673
No shit. I was guaranteed a cute girlfriend with a good body but 8th grade me was like "accept nothing less than a 10/10 for your first girlfriend.". It ended up being another 2 years until I had another girl interested in me.

>>1064678
Guy from Jersey here, our women are confusing flaky bitches.

> furry
> skinny, generally unattractive
> laughing stock of class
> publicly gets on all fours and howls
> likes me and the spoken for anorexic chick
> never actually had a conversation
> lots of playground bullshit
> finally catches me on my way out one night and asks me if I want to go out
> "I'm not looking for a relationship right now"

Nope, nope, NOPE.

>>1058568
>>1058735

LOL XD 420 SMOKE WEED ALL DAY ERRYDAY XDXD 420 LEGALIZE

Grow the fuck up faggots.

> Friends with cute blonde
> She's dating one of my best friends
> After a formal dance (dresses, tuxedos and everything) they go out drinking
> When they come back, she starts getting physical
> Rubs up against me with my thigh between her legs
> I feel her wetness
> Look up at my friend
> He looks at me
> Pokerfaces all around

>Be reading this thread
>Get a txt from some chick I used to hang out with.
>We fucked twice (Huge mistake), after which she moved cities and we stopped speaking.
>She's not that ugly just vapid and lacks personality. Pillow talk was literally about her pillows (and duvet).
>Notsureifwant.jpg

>>1064867

dude some pussy is better than no pussy.

get that shit.

>hot, 9/10 girl in my church when I was 13
>asks me one day if I want to come over her house and "study the bible"
>she says it in a really seductive voice, you'd think it was innocent but it couldn't have been
>I was an angsty atheist back then
>say I don't want to study the bible, walk away.

Oh god why.

>>1064911
I'd rather fap than just 'have sex' man. I'd rather have someone who I could do more with than just fuck than someone who I can't stand the minute my erections gone.

>Never had that feel or situation.
>Always between socials circles in the school clubs, the true neutral.
>Scare people away with my "loud" Punk Rock and my "demonic" Heavy Metal.
>I'm the only self-entitled "Punk-ass" at my college.
>Talk to other degenerates, betas and scholarship bros instead.

>>1064976
>study the bible in seductive voice
god what

my sides

>>1065130
Yeah sure, you tell that story now. A year later and no buttsecks and it's hard to say that with a straight face.

Story one - Dodged the bullet

>First year uni, in halls.
>Drinking game with two girls I just met, i am the only guy.
>Insanely drunk after a multitude of shots of different liquors.
>One girl is a 3/10; anorexic, otaku with pictures of Sephiroth in her room. She stole my jumper to sniff it, she owned a variety of insects and snakes in her dorm room. Girl never showered.
>I was told she dreamt about getting raped by vampires and that I was also in the dream.
>LOL CRAZY BITCH BACK AWAY OFF.

>Anyway, while drunk she feels she can make a move and plants her lips on me.
>I full on push her to the ground.
>She gets embarrassed and tries to strangle me to compensate with the rejection I think.

No regrets.

>>1065310
You're not the "true neutral". You're "that guy that nobody wants to hang out with"

>seriously anon, just go away, why did you push your way into our conversation anyways?"

>girl has downs
NOPE

enough said, eh?

Story two - Regret

>Out at a bar with two friends.
>See this insanely hot 9/10 girl stumbling around in circles as if she is looking for somebody.
>Give her the eye, I get the eye and motion towards her to ask if she's here on her own.
>Grabs my hand and pulls me into the bar away from my friends.
>Asks me what star sign I am. Tell her Capricorn.
>Good enough she says.
>I could have macked off there and then but she was apparently looking for the dick after breaking up with her BF and she was pretty drunk.
>Nice guy mode initiate and she leaves.

>I walk home alone as friends left.
>See some toothless black guy has her against the wall trying to get some action.
>White Knight mode initiate.
>'I've been looking everywhere for you, where you been!'
>I walk her home, get her a taxi.
>She waits on my bed, dat ass, dat perfect ass. She ends up being a cool person but she is no longer interested.

Moral of the story, I should have just kissed her and worked into a night of nameless, shameful sex.

>Be Junior going into a Senior in high school
>Get a chance to do a summer course at a college for 3 college credits (and this university is 4 hours from where I'm from)
>Fuck yeah
>Little, chubby, not pretty at all Indian girl (dot not feather) in same course
>The course was creative writing
>We write and critique each other's work
>She always manages to work topics that I had recently wrote about into her works.
>Everyone in the course does tons of group activities together
>She always finds her way next to me
>She finally tells me how much she likes me
>nope.jpg
>So as to let her down easy I remind her that we'll probably never really see each other again and that she's Hindu I'm Catholic, would never work out (I really didn't give a shit about my religion, just an easy out)
>Mean time, the girl I actually adored, pretty much ignored me all summer.
>Amber L. G. If you're reading this I still think about you from time to time. You were gorgeous and I really hate the fact I was such a shy fuck to say anything to you.

To set the ground rules, I was chubby and spiked my hair.
>7 year, 10/10 all around girl's friend asks me whether or not i like her
>being the beta faggot, look over to this girl i've never seen before, she smiles, respond with "nope.jpg"
>100% fucking certain she's interested in my friend, feelsbadman.jpg
>cant remember how, but i'm almost certain at some point somehow she was standing behind me with her arms kind've wrapped forwards around me grabbing something on the table in front of me
>kind've rubbed against me while doing this, may be exaggerating this, happened many years ago
>alone in this group, shy, no idea who the fuck most people are since first year of high school, she sometimes comes up to talk to me, maybe out of sympathy?
>few years later
>at one point her female friend says to me "anon, you turn on femanon", goes right over my head
>she sits at table with me and friend i'm certain she likes, asks us who we have crushes on
>all of us claim we dont like anyone, she says we must be gay
>sits on our table in art class
>bump into her friend group at cinema, we all sitting (separate tables for separate friend groups) in mcdonalds
>her friend comes over, says she likes one of us
Now final year of sixth form, I'm fit but no longer spike up my hair, have shittiest hair ever, curly fucking hair, never goes where I want it to, no fucking clue what to do with hair, hair fucking sucks in general.
>very very certain she's no longer interested in me...if she was interested in me in the first place
>never acknowledges me/speaks to me anymore
>mfw after next year we'll never see each other again since high school is over
>dealwithit.jpg
On the bright side I've got a part time job at McDonalds which surprisingly has a bunch of 10/10s, seriously.
>mfw I can talk to them fine they dont seem to hate me or think i'm weird or anything
>mfw they all have boyfriends
>mfw I'm actually okay with this, seriously

>>1065574
Is this Darren?

>some ugly nigger girl asks me if i have a girlfriend

Like this was seriously the ugliest black girl I've ever seen, thank god it was on facebook.

>Be in 9th grade
>Best friends with girl who lives down the street
>No interest in going out
>Take the bus home together every day after school
>Get off the bus middle of winter, walking home with her.
>Last day of school before christmas break
>Get to my house
>"Alright...see you in January!"
>I turn to walk up my drive way
>She spins me around and goes in for the kiss
>I stumble backwards shocked
>She falls on top me and we're now lying in a snow bank.
>Get up
>"Aha, alright bye."
>Go inside
>Look outside as I'm taking my shoes off and she's still sitting in the snow bank.
>Ohgodwhy.jpg

Still feel bad about this, she was awesome, I just was head over heels about another girl at the time, didn't see her like that at all and I had no idea she wanted anything more until that moment. I was completely taken by surprise and quite frankly, was in shock. Oh well.

I fucked her two years later at a party

>be in love with roommate
>roommate asks me if I want to be her boyfried
>'no'
>GOD FUCKING DAMN ITT

i am such a fucking idiot

I have some of these, mostly in highschool

>huge loner, only had one friend who I spent time with
>girls acting flirty all the time, asking me if I have a GF
>politely excuse myself, go somewhere else

>hanging out with bro in recess
>see this cute chub classmate who talks w/ us sometimes
>I'm not into chubs
>I often make outrageous claims to see what happens, don't give a fuck
>yell at her "I want to rape you"
>she yells back "me too"
>shame, pokerface.jpg

>punk classmate sits next to me
>grabs my hand
>whatever, I don't move it away
>starts gently biting on my fingers
>pop a huge boner
>all of this while teacher is giving his lesson
>I pokerface and don't even look at her
>act like nothing happened, never bring it up

>be in love with girl in my class, she is my definition of perfect
>she has a bf
>hang out a lot, I never told her, pretty sure I'm friendzoned
>we throw her a birthday party at my bro's
>know we're gonna crash there, secretly feel anxious
>she says she's gonna get drunk, I wonder if this has something to do with me
>we end up sleeping in the same bed
>quietly talking
>suddenly silence, very close, she gives me this long, long stare, I stare back
>do nothing, she turns around and falls asleep
>feel like shit, can't sleep, fuck off from there
>keep rationalizing I did it bcuz of her bf, who was actually a good guy and 'they really love eachother'
>later, feel regret, the most crippling, long lived regret I have ever felt
>HS ends and we part ways

And then I never nope'd again, but I didn't enjoy a single lay nor felt affection for any woman.

>>1065794
What were you thinking? And why didn't you just go back and say "yes"? I don't believe you.

>>1058343
Who the everliving fuck would date a pregnant chick? Fucking hell.

Man it's hilarious to see all these lusted after whores in high school get pregnant/have a kid and face 100% pure NOPE from every guy they go for afterwards. There's some chick on my fb who's with some freaking ugly beta now and used to date football team members, lol lowered standards.

>>1058476
bahaha you told us about this guy in that chronic liars thread, didn't you dude?

>>1058492
Exact fucking same story with me except the whale told everyon 'OMG HE SAID I WAS FAT' and every fucking chick just decided to hate me.

>>1065794
Bro...
When was this?
Why don't you just bring it up?
Damn.

>>1065826
>What were you thinking?

abridged version: "omg omg omg wtf do i do this doesn't make any sense what should i say who should i be come on be cool be smooth like bogart what would bogart say omfg im too ugly for her [vocalized: No] GOD FUCKING DAMNIT YOU RETARD."

>And why didn't you just go back and say "yes"?

I had already said no and given some bullshit reasons by the time i came to my senses I was too embarassed to go back and say "well actually i was lying i do want you a lot."

>>1065871
About six months ago. And she left the continent. So, fml.

>>1058343

That's why ou don't need a reputation of being a dude whos into lenghty relationships.
That's it. You can have ANY girl then and just play it off being a lone wolf.

I could cry from all the times I had teenage girl crushes and simply friendly relations and I ruined them all.

Why am I such a dumb fuck?
It is so surreal - I work on stage, I can tal to a goup - I just suck at any 1 on 1 small talk (oh I can discuss work or some serious bullshit, but I am absolutely retarded when it comes to talking about life.)

>working summer job
>after hours in employee lounge
>be 15
>me, this other kid, and a hot coworker of mine are hanging out
>I don't remember how it came up, but it basically ended up being
>her: "Anon, if you want to fuck me, let's go"
>me: "Lol, femanon, if you want to fuck me, then let's go"
>her: "Othercoworker, tell anon that if he wants to fuck me, come here"
>she goes into this pose (pic related), had jeans and a tshirt on
>me: "Othercoworker, tell femanon that if she wants some, come over here"
>lol she must be joking, there's no way she would want to fuck me
>no way at all

>2012
>retrospect
>where the fuck is my noose

>>1058343
>meet ex-girlfriend after not seeing her 4 years
>first person I did anal with, same for her
>laying on the floor next to her and her 2 year old son
>she whispers to me that she wants it in "my hole"
>contemplate fucking her in the ass next to her 2 year old boy
>walk out of room and sleep in car

>>1060038
> It's like going to the Bayou in Louisiana. Ass-rape imminent.
I take offense to that
even if it is true

OP here, just thought I'd say that I'm glad my thread was so well recieved. Lots of awesome stories in here. Thanks arcnines.

>>1058492
>fat girl
>named Betsy

Did her parents WANT her to be fat or something?

>At studentjob, local events, last day
>have to promote tap water
>spend entire morning filling countless bottles
>3 clueless females and I
>1 stunning, 1 average, one chubby
>have deadline so in a rare moment of alpha take lead
>get along with all 3 chicks
>hot chick and chubby chick laugh at my jokes, average chick always acts cynical
>suddenly need to team up
>small (5'7") and fairly light back then
>chubby chick (6"+) grabs me and almost smashes me into wall
>average chick: "ok it's decided then! See you guys later!"
>feel creepy vibe but can live with it
>the entire day she randomly grabs and almost lifts me into her breasts and won't let me take 5 steps before demanding to hold hands
>beta kicks in and I can't tell her to piss off
>day ends, chubby chick asks for messenger
>use generic: "yeah I don't use messenger often so it would be pointless"
>she gets sad
>give it to her
>before leaving she almost breaks my spine while hugging me
>never hear from her again

I'm fairly strong and I still think she was a bear in disguise.

>sitting in the library with a few friends
>white guy, giant, with huge afro comes along
>I kind of know the guy
>make a passing Afro Samurai joke, assuming he'd get it
>he walks over
>bends over
>begins to rub my back for a long time
>makes completely creepy conversation


>a year later
>same guy at a charity even I was volunteering at
>I am stuffing my face with pizza
>he comes over
>I make a sarcastic remark
>he looks me up and down and goes, "It'd be sexy if someone put you in power"
>I back away
>I back right into the mayor

I shit you not, this guy was creepy. Jayjay, if you're out there, fuck off.

>>1058523
>Be engaged to a woman
>won't fuck some slut
>he's gotta be gay!
Oh god that's rich

>be at house party
>chick (5.5/10 hitting on me like mad
>play it off, ignore her
>her friend tells me that the 5.5 is really into me
>fast forward a year later
>end up dating 5.5's friend, who was a 8-8.5/10

dodged a bullet, like a master