I used to. Where it feels like every day is the same, you don't know anyone, they don't know you. That kind of thing?

if you're freaking out your not depersonalized enough yet, you'll get there dont worry

Yeah sure. Sometimes I look at my arms and I'm not sure if they are mine.

Oh man, yeah. I feel like the connection between my mind and my body is nonexistant. I don't feel comfortable hearing my name, and have trouble introducing myself because I feel like I'm introducing my "body" me, and not my "mind" me.

Well now you're making me freak out. I've felt like that for years. Apparently it's something to worry about?

I know what you mean. I used to experience it all the time. I remember once describing it to a psychiatrist as feeling "like I'm a background character in my own life."

I'm not saying drugs will cause miracles to happen and rainbows to pop out of your ass, but I started feeling like myself again almost immediately after I started taking Lexapro.

In a psychotic depression episode, I was fairly convinced that I was purely conceptual.
Does that count? I wasn't feeling a damn thing, just experiencing the clusterfuck that mental breakdown was in an almost Palahniuk kind of detached way.

It's called "Summer Insanity" I've gone through this every summer after Freshman year of HS and it stems from the lack of social interaction. You will snap out of it when school starts or you get a job.

suck a dick you will feel better dude

>>10245469

Yeah.

For me it's like being underwater. I'm underwater and everyone & everything is so far away. It's not the feeling of drowning but just kind of floating away. I don't have any fear or sadness. I've had this for a long time now, in highschool it used to freak me out. Now I just have gotten so used to it.

Yeah. Sometimes when I look in the mirror I genuinely don't recognize the person staring back, and a small panic attack.

I get that, but its in really short durations, like 10-15 seconds. I relate it to being high on weed. It feels like I'm in a third person first person perspective, just watching the motions my body is making. Things start to have a lower FPS, but then I pop back out of it. Its extremely uncomfortable, thank god it doesn't really happen much anymore.

OP here, glad to know I'm not the only one. Or at least I think I'm glad.

>>10245637
I was going to describe it like this, or something similar (for me it's like being very tired.. actions seem delayed, and I feel like I'm in a bubble or something) but I thought it would be too subjective.

Hahaha yeah I zone out like that too.

I look at my hand and like, "Is this really me?"

It's called ego death brah, and to achieve such a degree of dissociation/depersonalization is to achieve the finest state of being. In my experience the best way to induce this state is to use the following method:
1. Move to a city/burgh/town where you know as few people as possible. Do not socialize at all until you have completed step two.
2. Change your appearance by no small bit.
(NOTE: TATTOOS AND PIERCINGS ARE ALWAYS A BAD IDEA FOR THIS, ALSO IF YOU ALREADY HAVE SOME YOU ARE FUCKED AND NO EGO-DEATH FOR YOU)
If you are overweight, go to /fit/ pick a mode you like and work at it with reckless abandon. Conversely if you are light, gain some muscle.
Change your clothes, doesn't matter the style or color, so long as they are noticeably different from your old norms.
You could go so far as to adopt a new personality and general disposition, but this step is not all that necessary.
3. Now begin to socialize with a type of crowd you usually don't run with. Fell more and more foreign to yourself as time goes on. Enjoy your 3rd person life adventure game.
4. ???
5. Profit

i get really high and i think of that.. Am i depressed?

OP girl is kawaiiii

Ego death sounds brutal.

yeah i got diagnosed a while back
three and a half years on and im content even regularaly happy
occasionally shit happens but now i just get over it:)

>>10245469
It feels like that when I get really high.

>>10245949
>Herp de derp
Read before you post.

>>10245896
Nope, not at all, keep pushing those lines of thought.
Ego death is where the fun in life begins.

IZ DAT SUM JESSI/BRIANNA?

>>10245833
ego death and being depersonalized are totally different

>>10245469
You should change your routine a bit. You're probably just bored.

>>10246020
My apologies gentlemen, I got excited.

i know what you mean OP. I felt like that when I first started smoking weed, but now I feel like it all the time. I just had two bowls of bud and a huge chunk of resin and I just feel "level" so to speak, not even high.

Im usually not depressed a lot, but when I am its like three times worse. It can be pretty unnerving sometimes when you can't be sure if you're dead/dying or alive just because everything feels the same.

>>10245833
This sounds horrible. I like who I am, I just don't have anyone to share my life with.

I keep personal hygiene, I get exercise, I go outside (and I don't just mean for the mail or the paper), I go to parties all the time, but I don't have anyone to share my passions with. Feels like everyone around me is an acquaintance, not someone I can actually call a true friend. There is so much in this world that I love but there are so few people to express it to. I feel like I don't benefit anyone's existence at all.

Yeah, I know it's not LiveJournal so I'll cut myself off, but ego death sounds like lying to yourself.

Did these feelings begin to occur suddenly or gradually over time?

Question for you depersonalized guys: Did this just suddenly start happening one day, or was there some kind of buildup period where you just felt a little distanced from yourself?

>>10246303
Not quite, ego-death is more like becoming so detached from yourself that you finally have the freedom to live life from an objective and well reasoned viewpoint, as opposed to weathering the seas of time at the whim and mercy of such influences as pain, embarassment, inefficient social norms, brain-blinding rages, endorphin surges when you see a woman you like, etc.

OP, your pics is awesome! Best feet of the week. Post more if you have.

I wonder how the fuck I exist, and why I can control everything I do, why do I exist, does it really matter?

>>10245642
>mfw
holy motherfuck. I got this twice so far in my life.

both times I fucking shat myself.

>>10245469

I've never felt real, as if I'm just watching a bad television show about myself. No depression, just I feel no connection to anything around me except what meager information delivered by my senses.

Fuck, where's the eject button.

My life has for a long time seemed like a fantasy of my own making and of no actual import. Really, if I die, I die, and I can always end myself if I want out. Otherwise, this is weird shit and I might as well enjoy it.

When I was starting high school my parents got divorced, and I fell into a real deep depression because I looked up to my dad so much, and the thought of him not living with us any more was on par with him dieing, it was some serious shit for me.

So any way, I ended up being put on Zoloft, and I felt the same exact way as you did OP. It was like I was watching a movie, of this kid who was just happy and normal, and I kept thinking to my self "This isn't really me, this isn't how I should feel".

When I told that to my therapist I was taken off of it, but that really didn't help much either, as I tried to commit suicide a few weeks later. After that, I was put into a ward with other kids who were in the same boat as me, and that seemed to help out a lot.

>>10246514
I still don't really understand... I guess it's over my head.

>>10245833

Holy SHIT. Just described my latest situation in detail.

>>10245469
When I got that I got ill a few days afterwards. It turned out to be good news really, becuase I was bed stricken for a few days. After a couple of days of huge amounts of sleep, it all cleared itself up. Something to consider?

>>10246303
>There is so much in this world that I love but there are so few people to express it to. I feel like I don't benefit anyone's existence at all.

This is how I feel. It's frustrating and I don't quite know how to fix it.

Anyway, for the people who feel depersonalized:

How do you get the motivation to do anything?

actually im clinicly schizo and that is a common symptom of people who are in my condition you might want to talk to a theripist or something if your having bizzar thoughs like unsocible moods and other sad feelings

Sometimes I feel as if were I to concentrate intently enough, and with enough "force," I could separate my consciousness from my body and float away. I can "feel" my awareness being centered in my mind, but at times I get the sense that I'm able to shift it to other locations in my minds eye, my hands, feet, penis, my truck in the driveway, my dog asleep on the bed. My ex girlfriends' anus.

I only feel that way when I dex 5-700 mg. And I'm not clinically depressed. And it only lasts for about 5 hours, then I'm back to normal. Enjoy your budding schizophrenia.

>>10246775
To put what I said simply:
Ego death allows a person to treat life as if it were just an exercise in thought, a daydream if you will.
There are no physical or emotional distractions to keep one from living as they wish, accomplishing whatever they sought to, and most importantly, never have to compromise the standards such a person governs themselves by.

>>10246896
>How do you get the motivation to do anything?

I can't.

If it doesn't lead to an orgasm or altered mind-state (drugs, alcohol) I do not do it. Though when it comes to sex even I can pass it up in favor of masturbation for a "quick-fix" instead of having to do the monotonous bullshit involved with a relationship.

>>10246925
me the skitzo again yea astral traveling around and thinking you have magic powers might mean your schitzo sounds like your starting to halucinate it could go away though like mine did but keep watch for weird thoughts and whatnot

I get pretty intense derealization for a day or two after I smoke weed, or if I pay really close attention to my surroundings.

Yeah the disassociation with pleasure is a real bitch.

>>10246896
Motivation is boundless when you have no limitations (physical,emotional) keeping you from making something of the person your mind calls home (save for the limitations one places on themselves, read:morals, those self imposed standards are good to hold on to).

>>10246994

I've always had "weird" thoughts. I don't believe I have magical powers, but it comes as a...sense, do you understand what I mean? Like a literal 6th sense.

>>10246989
skitzo guy says thats the same way i feel but im actually very good in bed and good looking my mind is just too paranoid to trust anyone

>>10246989
You are a shit tier human if you alone cannot motivate yourself to do anything.

>>10247057

That might just be budding a spirituality/pseudoreligion/whatever, although I'm a terrible judge of such things so you probably shouldn't listen to me.

>>10247111

I'm very uneducated in such matters, tell me more if you know anything.

This is a dream. Wake up OP D:

>>10247077
I am motivated. I wasn't asking for help on that. I was just curious how people who feel so detached from life can gather up the wherewithal to do anything.

>>10247057
You are not special, no one is. Get over yourself.

>>10247166

Why aren't you wearing any pants?

...why am I not wearing any pants?

HEY! Get that out of your mouth! Stop it! You don't know where it's been!

>>10247132

Well, what you described in your first post sounds a lot like astral projection, the second one, having a vague, undefined "sixth sense", is a little like some of the weired views some of my friends got before they embraced wickenism and started seeing ghosts (I may be misinterpreting this, just going by what little you posted).

Although there's probably no difference between any of this and delusion anyways. I'm not sure what point I'm trying to make anymore.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dqXmaFPn604

music for thread

Well I was going to post my experience and say it's probably a more common feeling than u think until I saw all the comments.

I have a clinical case of social anxiety btw. If ur feeling like ur going to freak out or something I recommend burning off some energy. Sometimes when I do this I get even more energy but at least I know this new energy is a good kind.

1.) Drink a bottle of 'tussin.
2.) Electronic/techno.
3.) Drift contentedly.

>>10247423

I might as well add this is how I started running. There's a few different 12 weeks to 5k programs on the net. Pick one u like, start at the week you think is best (usually they start with just walking) and repeat a week or two when it gets to be real challenging to make up for the couple you skipped. You'll be tired as fuck and you'll just feel good that you've accomplished something and at the same time burned off some nervous energy.

Yes, I'm dissociative and have been for many years. So far, the shrink hasn't done any good. He says I'm fine, even after I've explained my actual, concrete personal history - not my interpretation of my history. I don't really feel like I'm alive in the same way as everyone else. It feels more like I'm some sort of observer. People know instinctively not to get too close to me because I'm not like them. So I spend an increasing amount of my time alone. At this stage, I am largely unable to have any interaction more significant than a casual night out of the house, maybe at a friend's house, drinking and generally lounging about doing nothing. Bars make me very edgy. I strongly dislike the vacant stares of the general public. I don't like being reminded of my fundamental isolation.

However, I have also found that this dissociation has allowed me to be very creative in a number of ways, often not requiring any plans, schematics or outlines to complete the project, because I can already see it very clearly in my mind. It may take you some time, too - or maybe you can already do it - but this ability to turn inner concepts into real, material things is extremely rewarding. The creations I am proudest of help lend some peace to my life.

>>10247707

Protip: "I think you're doing fine" means "I don't care about your problems, and I am unwilling to put any extra effort or thought towards your case." in shrinktalk

Fuck him. Get a new one.

>>10247812
Well, I was paraphrasing him. But I still think you're right. I see some comments here talking about Lexapro and so on. I didn't know there were drugs out there specifically to combat this kind of thing. Of course, the cure isn't in a pill alone, but surely some kind of medication could help along with some sort of corrective therapy. I'm willing to go through with those things, but so far all I've done is throw money out the window. Finding a good analyst can be tough.