>walking down street
>look at two ducks on edge of pond
>they both simultaneously ruffle there feathers in that exact same way at the same time, EXACTLY...

this is pretty pathetic....

I see a lot of black spots in my peripheral vision often for whatever reason.

Figure it's not worthing mentioning to a doctor...MABE IT GLITCH THO

>>10226610
u mad cause they don't alter the matrix for you?

>>10226160
>at college on speed
>on speed
I think you found your glitch there champ

>falling asleep
>dreaming about playing baseball
>see ball incoming
>balls smacks me in the face
>just completely awake
>part of face that got hit is numb
Blew my fucking mind.

>>10216204
that's hectic, those space/time jumps are really freaky

>>10226638
Oh hey, I have this.

Mine was a vitroul attachment, which they dont treat and is non-threatening.

But if you've had those for just a few days, get to A and E. This is a classic symptom of a retinal detachment, which = blind in that eye within a week.

I troll not.

>get hypnotized
>hypnotist tell me that the pen he is holding is searing hot
>touches pen to my arm
>skins blistered where he touched the pen like it was searing hot
>wtf mein, just wtf

>at grandfather's funeral
>go to pay final respects at open casket
>look at the strong hands that built my grandparents house
>there is pizza in his hand
>turn around to tell my mother in horror
>there is pizza in her hand
>everyone has pizza in their hands except me

>Eat pizza
>Pizza is shispering in my ear
>I shit my pants and burst into treats

>>10226917
he poked you with a soldering iron and told you it was a pen.

>sleeping
>suddenly wake up for no reason
>check my phone, it's 4:30 in the morning
>crush just sent me a text message at exactly 4:30
>I was destined to respond

>Open the door
>There is no door
>Crawl into a ball on the floor and burst into treats
>Quietly hum "Dinosauuuur" to myself as I die inside

>putting clothes away in drawers.
>sit next to nightstand
>phone charging on surface
>think to myself "I should be getting a text from my friend about now"
>look at phone
>phone buzzes "New TXT Message"

This was fucking yesterday I swear to fucking god.
I almost jumped up and down screaming I AM A GOD!

>Walking through house
>Fucking tree in the middle of hall
>Still there
>Shit what do
>No tree
>mwf hallucinations

>girl asks me out to movies

>>10227113
this seems to happen a lot to me.
>Oh shouldn't I have received a reply by no-
>phone chimes

>taking corner kick in opponent's half
>box is too well marked, aim for an open bro in midfield
>kick
>appears to be on target
>suddenly curves and heads straight for the goal
>hits post but friend manages to get his had on it

I was facing at a 45 degree angle away from the goal, the spin that would have needed to curve anything like that would have been crazy. Sounds lame but it was a definite thislooksshooped.exe moment.

>>10227118
My when face hallucinations?

I swear to god this happened
>listening to badass song
>look out window
>point my hands to the rhythem
>as song as about to explode I wave my hadns upwards like something is supposed to happen
>all the lights in the house opposite of mine go on.
>MY FACE

>>10227113
>>10227030

>sent friend a text
>takes him a while to respond
>open right before receiving a message from him

another

>talking to friend on msn
>long silence
>start typing something to break silence at the same moment he starts typing
>this happens very very often

nothing amazing but they make me lol

saw black furry conical thing about the size of a cat, sat in the door way with two eyes looking at me, I looked at it, it was very surprised I could see it, it ran/ hovered off

>turn on tv
>fox on channel 10
>i'm actually watching the history channel
>hit "last" button
>it's comedy central
>how the...

>1000 songs on ipod
>current song is almost over, ipod is on shuffle
>think "i wanna listen to x song next"
>song plays right after the thought

>awake for 48 straight hours before finals
>leave the library in the middle of the night
>driving home on the freeway
>going about 70 mph
>fall asleep
>wake up the next morning in my garage with drool all over my face
>wat
>wat
>wat
>continue to wat all morning
>end up missing the final

>>10227239

holy fuck that's scary yet hilarious

>>10227239
Sounds like someone lost their virginity.

>Highschool
>Drama classes
>Abstract surrealistic presentation to be made as homework
>Come up with an idea of puking coloured water on a hat while eating a dolls head and then taking out eggs with coloured liquid in them
>Friend shows up to class with same idea
>We shit brix

That was my best friend and we never even mentioned the homework

>Sitting at home watching tv
>AC comes on burst of dust gets in my eyes
>rub eyes till they feel good enough to open
>open eyes, at my best friends house watching tv
>go home immediately
>get home my tv is still on my food is still hot and my dad is wondering where I went and how come he didn't see me go

>>10227305
holy fuck dude no way

>In a bus, have a feeling a certain thing is going to happen that I won't divulge on 4chan because I'm paranoid
>A song comes up on mp3 player: Gorguts - A Path Beyond Premonition
>Arrive where I was supposed to be, a cafe.
>Another song comes up, this time on the cafe's speakers, referencing exactly what I thought was going to happen
>Shortly after, it happens

What's a glitch in the matrix? Is that the old movie that my uncles watch with Keen Reeves?

>>10227305
You is a teleporter.

>On Ventrilo
>I say, "Man I haven't had a hotdog in a long time."
>Buddy on ventrilo says the exact same thing at the exact same time.
>Bricks were shat

>>10227327
you better be trolling, faggot

>Walking home
>Birds are chirping
>Loud motorcycle passes
>Talking to my friend
>Say goodbye to friend
>Man screaming about his daughter
>Little girl following me, trying to sell lemonade
>Skateboarder crashes and sounds like he broke his board
>TOO MANY NOISES
>Get home, turn on tv, can't hear anything but music
>headphones on, blasting volume

>>10227323
FUCK YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE. just tell us what happened or your story and post is meaningless. nobody cares, you're anonymous anyway

>>10227339
LOL. oldfag watching 10-year-old movies. Do you watch Gone With The Wind too?

>>10227327
>Keen Reeves

hahahahaha
Why is that so fucking funny?

>>10227318
If I knew how i'd literally come over there and slap your shit ok, my buddies family didn't seem to notice a thing it was like i had been there all day but records show from my save game data that I was in fact home until 5 minutes before that happened.

>>10227334

Similar to that,

>in car with friend
>silence for a while
>we both say "I am the most supreme and mighty king of wieners!" at the same time

>>10227323
Jeepers Creepers, where'd you get those peepers, jeepes creepers where'd you get those eyes.

>half awake, half asleep
>open my eyes, everything is normal except for two black cats sitting on my bed
>keep looking, in disbelief of what i'm seeing
>stare for a couple more seconds
>blink slowly
>when i open my eyes back up there's just a black bag
>shit brix
It was weird. Like those times when you think you see something in the corner of your eye, then you turn and look and it's something else. Except it was right in front of my face and it didn't change until I blinked.

>>10227024
ya i wish i could rationalize it like that, but it was a fucking pen that gave me the blister. there was no way he had a searing hot rod hidden. not even in his pockets man.

>>10227368
WOAH DUDE, THAT IS TRIPPY AS HELL

>Traveling along a country road at night
>Get an odd sensation in my stomach
>Mental image of a deer pops into my head randomly
>Turn on brights, deer appears 150 feet in front of my vehicle
>Slam on brakes
>What the FUCK

>pic up phone and dial friend
>friend i was calling called as i picked up and started dialing

>Wake up 1 minute before alarm clock goes off
>Wake up right before people call my cellphone
>Wake up before someone opens the door to my room
>Every single day

on highschool. Me and a buddy were sitting on the stairs, the only stairs to get to the last floor. we saw this wierd guy going down the stairs. 5 min later we saw him again going down the stairs but we did not see him going up. We were like "nah man not posible". 5 min again we saw him going down again. we freaked out

>>live alone in a big old house
>>ready to go to sleep
>>need to lock doors and windows
>>as i get to the front door, i get a strange feeling that something is wrong
>>the door is already locked
>>apparently i already closed everything and forgot about it
>>wtfman

>>10227429
Haha, those often happen to me too. Shit's so strange.

>>10227429
i swear im slightly awake before my alarm turns on, like i know im awake but hell naww am i getting out of bed

>>10227462
were you drinkin drugs?

lights flicker as I walk by all the time.
Sometimes I raise my hand and they flicker according to my finger movements.
Some say I am protected by an unknown force.

>>10227488
protected... or cursed

>>10227488
nope, you're just a huge faggot

>start dating this girl
>become severely emotionally attached to her
>im a romantic its cool right
>wake up one day screaming kicking punching pain coursing through my body
>think it's weird go back to sleep
>wake up in the morning get a call from her
>she was raped last night she fought back but was still raped

she broke up with me

>>10227113
>Open text message
>It's from Haruhi

>>10227488
I've notice that lights/street lights burn out when I walk by. Past 4 months I've had it happen like 8 times.

>>10227488
get out of here dumbledoor

>eating at a dinner
>I'm sitting by the door
>girl a couple of tables ahead
>she is a ginger in a red dress
>look away
>look back
>she disappears

WHAT THE FUCK

>>10226160

Son, I think you need to take your meds.

>have dream of having sex with a close friend
>next morning she said that she had an strange dream
>of me raping her
>feel uncomfortable for a few days

>>10227549
Did you ask her if she liked it?

point to a random point in the sky, lightning strikes

predict people's thoughts

i don't even know how

Fuck I love Two Jacks In The Hole

>eight years old
>home alone for the first time parents gonna be out for a very short time
>get a call, no caller id yet answer
>static
> hang up the phone turn around
>static
>shake it off walk to my room
>static
>sit down unpause my game
>tv goes clear I can see me sitting down and 3 others sitting in the room with me
>turn around, nothing
>turn to look at the tv again
>wake up 3 hours later in bed parents huddled over me with a rag, blood coming out of a gash on the back of my head.
>several items missing from my room, tell no one what happened.

>>10227549
She seemed concerned. I was laughing nerveously

>take medication yesterday
>remember it clearly
>open bottle to take it today
>never been opened before
Yeah...

>laying in bed
>wake up
>stare at ceiling
>starts warping
>i am suddenly sitting on my balcony staring at the sunset
>the sun is red and i feel extremely hot
>wake up again
>laying on the floor in my girlfriends house
>get up and take a shower for some reason
>wake up another fucking time
>staring at my PC
>listening to eminem with porn open in several tabs
>i don't even want to know

>watching Observe and Report
>next day wake up in Mall security uniform
>have wacky adventures on heroin
>everybody walk the dinosaur

>>10227580
Should have put her fears to rest by raping her...

oh, i knoe youve all had this shit happen to you.
>on the bus
>busy reading some shit
>glance up without even realizing what im doing
>someone was staring at me

>>10227604
This isn't fantasy time, fgt.

>Go to bed tired as fuck
>Wake up for no reason 2 hours later looking at ceiling
>Immediately see huge wolf spider crawling out of vent as soon as my eyes opened
>How do I spider-sense?

This has happened to me probably 100s of times. I'm either reading or watching TV or wasting time online or whatever. I stop what I'm doing for like 10 seconds then stare at the phone. It rings. I'm sure this isn't paranormal and that I can somehow hear the sounds the phone makes as it's about to ring. Kind of like how if you leave a phone by an old TV, it'll start staticing out a couple seconds before it rings. It's just weird how I can do this consistently.

Most wtf story would be.
>Studying in the school library for 16 hours straight for a week before finals.
>From the second it opened until they physically threw me out, I'd be there.
>Day before my last final of the term, I'm working on Spanish
>Close and rub my eyes for a few moments
>Next thing I know I'm in my class hall, staring at a completed blue book essay, with all 16 pages filled in completely
>I read through it. It's the best work I've ever done by far.
>I obviously wrote it because my handwriting is so godawful there's no chance anyone else wrote it
>Hard for me to read since portions of it are written using vos tense, something I barely understood since I was learning from a Mexican teacher
>Best grade I ever got on a final exam at UCSD, an actual 100% perfect score.
>Still no fucking idea what happened there

>>10227576
DUDE THAT IS SCARY AS FUCK

Fuck you I don't know if I can sleep now :(

>sitting here typing matri like stories
>typing up a story about a time i saw something in my tv and was knocked out
>whole time i have shivers rolling down my spine
>look at tv
>i am not alone
>give my last will to /r9k/
>1 gets all my shit
nbhyguretqqqqq

>In high school
>Sleeping on couch before school
>Dream I'm laying on the couch
>See my mother standing at the top of the stairs
>She looks at me
>I hear my mother yelling at me which wakes me up
>She was standing in the exact same spot in the exact same position, but with an angry expression on her face
>Get to school on time anyway
>Tell no one about the dream because I have no friends

>>10227619
Oh wait, yes it fucking is.

HERP DERP I DIZAPEEERRED AND NOW IM IN SPAIN WITH BLOOD IN MY BUTT

>mountainbiking around a desert mesa
>alone
>going down a steep too fast
>crash
>hit my head on a rock, black out
>wake up
>pockets are filled to the brim with packs and packs of chewing gum

i think i stumbled upon the glitch to spawn infinite gum in your inventory

>>10227619
Wasn't trolling, I was trying to lucid dream and all this stupid trippy shit happened. I just wanted to fly in my dreams, not wake up 6 times in one god damn dream ;_;

>>10227014
>shispering
>the fuck?

>in hotel room
>do something related to my job
>walk out into hallway
>guy starts fighting me
>gravity shifts like crazy
>realize I'm Joseph Gordon Levitt
>get bitches

>>10227488

> Radios get better reception when I touch them or get
> near them.
> When no one else can get signal, my phone will still
> connect.
> Old TV screens will change color as i run my fingers
> across them. Never needed to degauss my screens
>
> I'm fluxed up, amiright?
>
>
>

>drop stubby pencil under desk
>pick up pencil
>Long and unsharpened

>Drive past Taco Bell every day on the way to work for a year
>Friend mentions that he wishes there was a Taco Bell closer
>I say there's one right around the corner
>Argue
>Drive down to where it should be
>No Taco Bell
>Lose $10

wtf man

>>10227673
>greentext doesn't work for me
>burst into code

>>10227686
That was the lesser known, but still totally somewhat non-lethal, Taco Hell.

I always finish people's sentences. Does that count?

>>10227673
that happens with everyone. the cellphone thing means it has a bigger or a better antenna

So I was watching Birds and it was getting to a part where they swarm a window and slam into it. the moment they hit the window in the movie i hear these thuds against my window it scared the fuck out of me. run outside to see what it was. pile of dead birds laying on the ground all their necks were broken from heavy direct impact to a flat hard surface.

>>10227703
Only if you finish their sentences in binary code.

>>10227686

>read story about Taco Bell
>look up at tv
>"King of the Hill is brought to you by Taco Bell; think outside the bun."

wtfman

>>10227630
What are you complaining about? Your studying paid off.

MOAR POR FAVOR

This is some final destination shit ive got here for you.
Was watching tv and some guy on ER dies and they pronounce him dead and we get to hear his name. he was just one of the extras. Anyway later that night i flip to the news and there's that guys name again, he died of a heart attack. can you guess what happened to the extra on ER?

one time i did drugs and wierd shit happened.

we tottally disocerved secrets to the universe man.

>Sleepwalk as a kid
>Have a nightmare that I'm responsible for killing my family
>At the very end of the dream, I'm looking at my hands as they are covered in blood and feel horrible about myself
>Wake up, look at hands, see dried blood on them.
>Parents said I was sleep walking last night and ran out of the house screaming there was something i had to do.

>Don't tell anyone cause I dont want to be institutionalized

>>10227764
Massive rectal trauma?

(just to be safe, I'm mootbloxing this. fucking r9k....)

>>10227391
Hey, that's happened to me sometimes too.

This happened to me today:
>Feeling really down and a bit lonely. Wondering if anyone would miss me if I were gone.
>Get a text message from best friend saying she loves me, even though she rarely texts me.
>wtf! How did she know to text me right then, and with something like that?
>No longer so depressed. :)

Feels good man.

When I came in here today my computer had just finished starting up.

I don't remember turning it on.

>>10227334
lol i got a story like that
>me and friend talking about a game of hon
>i say something and my friend comes in exactly as i say the game
>the game....

> listening to the downward spiral right fucking now
>clicking through recent news
>come across article on how trent reznor used to have talent

Hey look, we're beta as fuck now.
Go to bed, moot.

>Painting mini's for a D&D game I play in.
>Just finished putting primer on them.
>Start painting the first one
>Set it down when I finish
>Go to pick up the next one
>All of them are done and my "palette" is covered in paint
>Several hours have passed
>The minis are immaculate

this one happened just today, about 7 hours ago
>taking epic nap
>at that part near the end where you slip in and out of consciousness
>conscious
>mom walks in, says she's going to mcdonalds and asks what i want
>tell her, she goes to leave the room
>bends over about 18'' from foot of bed, i think she's picking something up, can't see her
>don't see her leave for a minute, sit up a bit to see what she's doing
>nobody there

>>10227508
>she broke up with me
BITCHES AND WHORES

>given link to this thread on /r9k/
>think sender is a fag
>open thread
>Op is a fag

>hanging out with my friends a short scrawny boss fuck and an average lanky nerd
>trying to cum up with another brilliant scheme to get rich
>weird shit happens
>my nerdy friend keeps writing down all the weird shit we see
>more weird shit happens , my sister gets involved(she's a bitch)
>day becomes night suddenly, my bad
>some really weird shit happens
>nerdy friend drops his notepad
>weird shit stops happening
>douchebag popular guy insults us
>Same shit diff day

>talking to mom about school
>her fucking husband is chattering in background
>every fucking time, swear to god, he chimes in with his bullshit
>gets me thinking "fuck, I wish he'd fucking die"
>answer the phone two days later
>mom says stepdad has prostate cancer
>everything turned out better than etc.

Oh, and when you see it.

>>10227801
nope, he died of a heart attack

>>10227859
hold on, something's not right with my post. does c o m e filter to cum?

>thinking "this thread really does prove we're beta as fuck"
>mfw moot

>>10227896
I can come too.

>>10227883
NO SHIT?

qbiohrbhpebnlttrsr

>>10227896
No, you just have an all-encompassing subliminal desire to swallow buckets of semen.

>do drugs
>see the matrix
>mfw

>>10227407

>call home phone from my mobile while im out
>dad picks up even before the ring happens
>he starts typing in my phone number (i can hear the beeping)
tell him im on the line

he picks up exactly as i call wut

>>10227916
wow, well i guess that does explain it, after all i am me. cumdumpster ftw

I have hallucinations all the time and they scare the shit out of me. The last time I thought the pant of my bag is my dogs head, WTF

>cumdumpster
>ftw

Does not compute
Error
Error

>Driving home from movie
>See brights on from other car
>Go down small hill, lights disappear
>Drive back up hill, no lights anymore
>Check side roads as I pass
>Car disappeared.

>>10227630
That is some sweet ass shit, just sayin'.

>>10227859
hey Ed
edblox

>>10227977
Highfive, you figured it out.

>laying in bed
>trying to fall asleep
>suddenly I see a silhouette
>i get the fuck up, go outside my room
>see it go downstairs
>I grab a flashlight and follow it
>go outside
>everything goes blank
>wake up at the golf field
>bike home
>a plane turbine fell through my house
>my face

>>10227987
I got it by the third sentence. Fucking photographic memory

>eating roast beef
>pick nice piece up with fork
>meat falls off fork and lands upside down on my plate
>huge piece of garlic in it that couldn't be seen from the other side
>i hate garlic

wow glad i spotted that

>Cruising
>Friend: "Dude, Anon, the town is DEAD"
>Me: "Naw, it's not dead 'til the street lights go out
>Friend: "Dude, they don't go out"
>Me: "Blackout..."
>Ten minutes later, whole town goes black,

>>10227323
FUCKING BROFIST FOR A FELLOW GORGUTS FAN IF YOU'RE STILL READING THIS THREAD.

Considered Dead is my favorite album by them, though.

>Playing at a crowded gig

>Get hit in head hard with something from the crowd halfway through the second song

>Vision blurs and I think I passed out

>come to at the end of the song to the crowd going apeshit

>managed not only to stay on my feet, but play the song perfectly.

>>10227999

YOU'RE OUT OF YOUR ELEMENT, DONNIE.

kvy rmxpixguifoip mlahxv nlifbawrzul nyha prf gip yhm

>>10227999
>have deuce ex selected on on desktop, ready to play
>read this
fuuuuu time to play deus ex. god is calling.

>Watching news on TV with my roommate
>Casually say to roommate that our news is boring and I wish we could have a decent murderer or something to liven shit up
>Week later, Raoul Moat
>Say to roommate jokingly, 'WOW my wish was granted haha, next I want floods in China!'
>Turn on TV yesterday, news says there are floods in China
>I wished for mud slides in the Phillipines next

>On computer.
>Look around and see a mirage in my room.
>Wtf.
>Continue browsing 4chan.

>lurking /r9k/
>look up, see myself in mirror.
>wearing black slayer shirt.
>look down.
>wearing white hooters shirt
>look back at mirror
>im on a horse

>>10228098
You don't look like me, but I don't see any reason why you can't smell like me.

>>10227999
>donnie
>tripples
whoaaaaaaaaaaaaa

>>10227896
Ed, how many times have I told you to stay off 4chan?!

>Have overly lucid dream about getting vanned for CP even though no pedo man
>Guys come in to interigate me they look like feds or someshit
>Say that they have siezed my computer but are willing to strike up a deal if i confess
>Got nothing to confess
>They somehow make this strange creepy bug thing from this small device
>Feel strange at this point more like I'm in a dream things are going weird I can somewhat control the situation
>Rearrange the wall so there is a nice hole for me to run out of
>Get away through the hole
>Wake up
>Matrix was on the tv just after the fbi vanned scene
>Well I never.jpg?

>in literature
>making sarcastic racist comments
>get up to leave, finish by saying 'im not a racist, but i wish all black people would die.'
>black kid behind me and my friend hurries past us and out the door
>how fucking long has he been in this class

>Was sitting at home in my basement on my computer playing some games
>fell asleep, woke up to the sound of my computer beeping
>it leaves a short message "Follow the angry cat"
>mom calls asks me to pick up some milk bring it to her
>go out to get some milk see an angry cat running down the street
>follow the angry cat down an alley and into an abandoned building
>strange man standing there wearing all black
>I ask who are you?
>he says follow me and find your answer turn around and always want to know
>I start following him
>mom calls cellphone, gun shots fired she's worried about me
>tell her im fine and im heading over, which i do
>get to her house see a bunch of strange men in black staring at me the whole time im walking in

I've told this story before in /x/ but
>horseback riding
>horse spooks and bucks me off
>I get dragged behind it on a gravel road till my knee is destroyed and the skin on my face is ripped off
>pass out in the road
>man wakes me up and tells me I have to stay awake or I might not wake back up
>talks to me till help comes
>stays with me while they pick rocks out of my face
>helps me answer questions and find my mom
>turns out I had serious head trauma and could have slipped into a coma if I hadn't stayed awake
>super grateful, make full recovery
>go back to the barn to thank everyone who helped me
>girl who took care of me says, "you were so out of it you were talking to yourself! You had us all freaked out!"
>there was no man

>>10228195
Then who was man?!

>>10227849 here with another one
when i was about 5 or 6 i saw Buzz Lightyear flying around my kitchen, clear as day

no shit

>half awake half asleep
>when I close my eyes I can see a guy at a computer doing something
>keep opening my eyes seeing my room and closing them seeing that guy
>close eyes again and keep looking at him, after while he turns at me and says in a angry voice "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU LOOKING AT, YOUR PLACE IS NOT HERE"
>open my eyes and freak out

>>10227516
>>10227488
Same here, I sneak around at night watching nightly walkers and the same lights never flicker as they pass.

>go to 'haunted' location as a child (its this old creepy house that wasn't for rent but we no one ever say anyone go in or out)
>a few others wanted to show me something scary but cool, I accepted this offer
>they show me how they can make things float but only in a certain spot MIND=BLOWN
>it doesn't work for me I think they are tricking me somehow
>we start opening doors at random at this creepy house
>i open one and it is just pitch black as far as the eye can see
>see something far off in the distance in this door it looked like the exterior of an office corridor but you could see through the walls
>see a suited 'man' walking down this corridor
>get freaked out and leave

the next day we went back and it had been demoished it was really weird that house.

>go swim
>jump off diving board
>do a flip
>right before i hit the water, i see my friend that died in the corner of my eye
>resurface immediatly
>look at the spot
>see imprint of Fallen shoe in the wet spot
>he was a skater that always wore fallen shoes

>High School
>Lunch just ended. I decide to just get to class before anyone else, just because I'm cool like that and shit
>Relatively quiet
>"Hear" my name whispered into my ear
>Turn around. My friend is a ways back
>I wait for him, we both have confused faces
>He tells me he was about to call out my name

>>10228311

gb2/theanimatrix/

>remember the vuvezelas that m00t put on /b/
>think it'd be cool if he put music on /b/
>this thread is going slow
>go to /b/
>holy fuck they are playing music now

this happens to me alot but I also do alot of drugs

>>10227859
Hey Ed.
Don't let Double D and Sara get you down man. Tomorrow me, Kevin, Rolf, Jimmy and Plank are going to play stickball in the cul-de-sac, you should come chill.

Later

>>10226823
what the fuck why does the duck roll thread still say "Alpha as Fuck" at the to??

>set cup on counter
>cup balances on edge instead of sitting flat
>puzzled
>push cup down to sit flat, then let go
>cup goes back to balancing on edge
>wat
>continue with day

>Schlicking on cam fr /b/tards
>going great loving the compliments
>some guy says I'm your father and I'm pissed at you
>my dad is out of town on a business trip hours away
>5 minutes go by he bursts into my room pissed as fucking hell
>I don't finish :|
>2 weeks later mom files for divorce
His business trips weren't exactly what we thought
His other wife and my half sister agreed he should go to jail for this bullshit
oh and to top it all off, my half sister was in the chatroom with us

>Make shit up
>Post it on /r9k/
>Think I'm cool
>Get laughed at by fat people
>My face

You mean share that time when you realized you were a ficking retard?

>goes to bed earlier than normal
>has dream about marrying somewoman he barely knows but has feelings for
>gets up and delivers her a message saying he's freaked out by how strong his feelings are we need to talk strange dream what not
>gets on /r9k/ to post it because why not
>stays up for an hour
>woman gets on aim sees message
>responds, I just had the same fucking dream
>edate time set fucking win
>spends the next hour unable to go to sleep
>faps to tranny porn then posts random shit in this thread to try and scare/creep/lol anons

>working some shitty job last week for a temp
>placed in a jam factory on a line
>bored as fuck staring at an electrical panel
>think to myself it would be interesting if the power went out here
>not even a split second later all the lights go out and my mind was exploded

>Sitting on the computer
>Getting hungry, decide to call my mom to ask when she will be dropping off the food she said she would make
>Pick up the phone, start dialing her number
>hear "Hello" through the phone while still dialing the number
>It's my mom. She called me the exact time that I picked up the phone. it didn't even get a chance to ring. She called to tell me she's coming by with the food now
>Psychic as fuck

>>10228059
there are mudslides in the Philippines!!!! Liar or GOD!!!!
FFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUU!

>>10227488

Christ. This is copy/pasta from the days before computers!

>>10228059
Hey fuck you :c
>walking in wind/rain
>listening to song
>song dies down for a huge coda outro solo thing
>all instruments kick in at once
>wind picks up and all hair goes flying upward at the exact moment

>>10227619

Unfortunately this is like "hey guise anyone ever had any ghost experiences?" The longer the conversation goes on, the more and more amaaaaazing the stories become.

look at spoon.
it bends.
shit, man.

>at a big breakdancing event
>they're throwing a couple free hats into the audience
>red hat flys in my direction like a frisbee
>I see it moving past my shoulder
>TIME SLOWS THE FUCK DOWN
>I reach over my shoulder about a foot behind me
>catch hat by brim
>TIME RETURNS TO NORMAL
>no one around me understands how the fuck I caught it

>>10228271
> be 12
> lucid dreams everynight, be goku, fly, other messed up stuff
> Think up the idea to rip dream in two like a curtain
> Try it, dream appears to melt infront of me, man appears in a suit
> looks into my eyes and says "You are not meant to be here"
> Wake up
> Never able to lucid dream again

Feels bad man

>9th grade gym class
>try to shoot the ball in
>ball circles hoop like its about to go in
>stops and balances perfectly on the rim
>entire class puts on their "are you a wizard" face
>gym teacher comes by fifteen minutes later and knocks it down

>>10228740
During dangerous situations, our brains can slow down our perception of time in order to give us more time to think of a way to save our asses.

You must've been surprised enough at the hat to trigger this mechanism.

>>10228750
That totally fucking sucks.

Seriously. Find that man and kill him.

>Walking home
>Black out
>20mins have passed and I'm 10 miles away from where I was
>Go into cafe across the road
>Waitress asks if i left something
>Apparently I'd had a coffee there 10mins ago
>Recipt in pocket

WTF?!

>>10228645

Had this earlier too. Slightly dark song comes on all of a sudden. Clouds obscure sun so it goes that little bit darker, breeze becomes stronger.

Awesome. Love when mood fits the music.

How about everytime i fucking want? How about i predict the next post in this thread. I'll see how i feel.


>wake up at 4.30
>get up and go to the toilet
>slip and am about to hit my head
>wake up
>it's 4.30
>go to toilet
>slip and hit my head
>it fucking hurt

>>10228645

hahahaha that would be a FUCK YEA moment for sure.

Related, had this happen a lot. Be listening to songs on the car stereo while waiting at a red light. Song ends, then light goes green just as the next song starts, and it's one of those songs that starts like an explosion of rock. Fuck yea.

Of course, these are just coincidences, but then so is 95 fucking percent of this thread.

>wake up at 4.30
>get up and go to the toilet
>slip and am about to hit my head
>wake up
>it's 4.30
>go to toilet
>slip and hit my head
>it fucking hurt

>>10227202
>>10227202

>mfw incoherence

>>10227014
i just want you guys to know that this is probably the best post itt
>and then i burst into treats

>at a bar
>a girl actually talks to me

wtf man, I was so freaked out, fucking glitches everywhere

I fucking ALWAYS:

>>Get in shower
>>Take shower
>>Get out of shower
>>"Oh it's probably like 7:23"
>>Clock: 7:23

I do this at all hours of the day regardless of whether or not I've seen a clock lately or not.

>>10228827

So whats the other 5%?

>>10228860

This is the other 5%

>>10228740

>>10228860

That'd be "unexplained" champ.

There's this light pole.

Everytime I walk by it and it's on, it turns off, and vice-versa.

I observed it from a distance. It's not like there's a problem and it often goes on and off. it's just when I come close.

>>10228766

The real mindfuck regarding that phenomena is that your brain is actually powerful enough to slow the flow of time down. You may have been told that it's merely your perception of time that changes, but that is an untrue statement. Your brain slows time down by thinking much faster and creating a time dilation effect akin to the dilation you would experience if you were traveling in a space ship that was nearing the speed of light.

>I'm in my crib, maybe 3 years old. I stand up and see stars.
>I wake up and its my 6th birthday.

>>10228854

I do this, but only at 4:04pm. I'm not trying to be uber-mysterious, and it probably has something to do with the work day and me getting to a point when I've had enough and so want to look at the clock to see how long to go, but almost every day, I will look down at the corner of the monitor and visually see that the time is 4:04pm.

>>10228899
>>10228766

>i just googled this
>you guys are full of shit
>believe everything you read on the internet
>my contribution

>>10228899

Time does not slow down. The refresh rate of your eyes is increased temporarily in response to a panic situation. Trust me I know, I've been in more than my fair share of serious car crashes. Happens every time, and it is scientifically explained.

>>10228934

Oh yeah? Make science explain THIS!

>>10228927

That's because they explained it wrong. You brain increases the "frame rate" so you see more in the same space of time. If you're a faggot who doesn't understand science at all, you might call this slowing down time or time dilation, but if you're ALPHA AS FUCK, you keep your shit together and move on with a FUCK YEA.

divine intervention?

>>10228966
Your brain overclocks your eyes

lololol I'm funny.

>>10228986

well... I did lol a bit...

Pretty common shit here.
>Pen rolls off desk
>Hits floor, making a sound
>Reach to pick it up
>Pen is nowhere.
>Confused
>Look on desk
>See pen directly in front of me neatly placed in front of me on the desk

>have memory in head, not sure when it happens
>happens in real life after I thought about the memory
>the fuck?

>>10226160

Me and like 4 bros were engaging in some tabletop gaming, when, all of a sudden one of my bros loses both of his percentile dice. He's looking for them for a few minutes, without standing up (it's a small room) then he stands up, and as he doing so, the dice fall off of his lap onto the floor where they roll and disappear under some furniture. He goes "Damn it, I'm an idiot.". He and I both witnessed them drop on the floor, and he only uses his dice set, which is a specific color to know they're his. No other dice were missing from anyone else.

After like 10 minutes of looking for them, we finally found the percentile dice IN HIS DICE CONTAINER ON THE TABLE. The very same dice that rolled away on the floor. No one touched his dice container during the time he was looking, and whatever dice fell on the floor were never found.

>>10228934
>>10228966

cooltroolbrool

>mfw people are actually stupid enough to belief

>>10228966

Dumbshit who doesn't understand relativity, time dilation, or even basic arithmetic detected.

>>10228986
The brain just overclocks - perception, reaction and even motion times are sped up.

>>10229016
>>10229023

Very similar. Fuck, these things creep me out.

>>10227576

Wait, was that like ghosts stealing from you, or you just getting robbed.
or hallucinating from knocking yourself out, but how did stuff go missing, shittttt.

>watching tv
>think a mental image of a big cut
>get dejavu feeling
>said this inside my head "i am going to see a big cut"
>commercial changes to a bandaid commercial
>first thing i see is a kid with a 4 in. long cut on his knee

>>10229042

Dude its a part of time dilation. Go take a basic physics course you fucking moron.

This happened two or three times when I was around 4 or 5.

>Stand at top of stairs.
>Wish I could fly down.
>Be at bottom of stairs a second or two later.
>No memory of going down them.

>heavy snow in england
>me and two friends walking somewhere
>bright light flashes in the sky, (REALLY blue, not thunder.)
>No one on the streets anymore, literally see no one for 15 / 20 minutes.
>Another bright flash
>come across a guy stuck in the snow who we helped.
shitbrix. we fell out the matrix or some shittt.

>Spent last 3 years as a social shut-in
>Neighbor is watching anime theme song at full volume
>He's been doing this for weeks
>Start trying to catch what the lyrics say, its about a pudding girl or some shit
>Decide against telling him anything since it'd involve going outside
>Go to sleep
>Realize the entire conspiracy behind this

>>10229103
trolol

>>10229032

lol enjoy your out-dated science bro. You could easily google what I'm saying but I bet you won't.

>be 5 years old
>I'm breathing
>a few hours later
>Notice I'm breathing again
>Holy shit dude I just went hours without breathing

>>10227881

LOLOLOLOLOLOL

iseewhatyoudidthar.flac

>>10229131

ABABA ABABA ABABA ODORU AKACHAN NINGEN

>Teacher
>Come to school to give another day of class
>Classroom consists mostly of female students
>Start lecture
>Realize that all the people in the class look deformed and have gigantic heads
>Suddenly wearing cape and staff
>Class rep. accuses me of not being the real teacher.
>I'm in despair.

>lol at fat guy in town
>2 minutes later driving at a suburb
>same fat guy

>>10229219
Don't kill yourself! I'll sue!

>In the water temple swimming n shit
>Got this fucking key from this chest
>Saw this shit on the wall and I whipped out my Ocarina because I felt like it
>Played my bitches' fav song
>Turn around
>WATER IS ALL FUCKING GONE

>Have recurring dream for years about going upstairs into my parents room, and having a man who's skin was inside-out coming out of my moms painting, and the proceeding to kill me.
>I always yelled for help, but nobody came
>Having the dream again, I yell for help, and my dad comes rushing upstairs
>Beats the shit out of the inside-out man and kills him
>Never have that dream ever again

I actually thanked my dad a few months later when I realized I stopped having that nightmare. Just found it strange how him getting killed in a dream finally would make it so I never had that dream again.

>Calling mum to come pick me up
>She calls me just as I dial her
>WTFBBQHAX
>I hadn't even told her that I needed to be picked up early before...

Seriously freaked me out

>>10229148
>>10229032
Well, what's time? It's how we measure rates of change. If more change occurs in the same amount of time, it's arithmetically equivalent to time moving faster.

Nonetheless, you're a dumbfuck, because that's not how we talk about time.

>>10229278
This makes me wonder if the actions in your dreams have real-world consequences.

>>10227167
Do you keep count of the times you get a text message and you didn't presage it?
Confirmation bias bitches.

>chilling is park with friends at about 10pm
>road running adjacent to park about 50 ft away
>shifty looking black painted van drives past slowly
>no headlights
>lol weird
>van comes back the other way
>...k
>van comes back a third time
>freaking out
>van comes back fourth time, stops just behind a hill
>dont see what happens next, sprinting out of the park
>every second vehicle we see from then on is a van

>studying for finals week
>go to sleep
>wake up, i'm sitting down in a room
>i've finished taking my last exam
>looks like everything is in order
>girl i like comes to me after exams, apparently i asked her out
>how did this happen

>>10229304
No, but neither had this one. His dream had effect on his dreams, dumbass.

>>10229341

Its the van man. You still don't know about him I take it?

>have terrible memory
>experience "glitches" daily where I'm standing around, random objects in hand with no idea what's going on
>feels interesting man.

>walk into town
>wake up in my room
>look at watch
>3:37 PM the next day

Still don't know how I got back or remember anything else

>>10229369
He's used a "tangent" to go from one thought to another.

This is the thought process at work.

>make out with another guy while out of town away from boyfriend
>next morning he tells me he had a dream i had unprotected sex with some dude in front of him
>feel awful

>>10229395

Sounds a little more schizophrenic than a simple bad memory

>Talking to a friend
> get the Deja vu feeling i have had this conversation before
>predict everything my friend says for the rest of the conversation
>tell person about it
>get hit by Deja vu feeling about getting the previous Deja vu and the conversation about the feeling
>predict conversation again
WAT THE FUCK MAN....

>>10229419
nah, it's not that bad, it's just confusing sometimes and makes life an adventure.

>browsing 4chan
>leave to get a drink
>come back
>open a thread in a new tab
>404
>go back
>open another
>404
>repeat
>wonder what's up
>look at original page
>hadn't been refreshed for 8 hours

>>10227859
Sup Eddy, how you doing in the peachcreek hood?

>come home, put my stuff into workroom
>go back into living room
>see a cat sitting on the couch, staring at me
>I have no cat
>go back into the workroom, repeat going into the living room
>cat is still there, watching me
>I blink
>cat is gone

whatthefuckdidjusthappen.jpg

I seriously suggest we archiev tihs for future reference

>dog tired laying down on the couch
>sensation that i am paralysed, but am still awake
>try to get up
>get up but my body is still laying down
>shit brix
>snap out of it
>wtf man

I've heard that rarely people's bodies 'go to sleep' while they're still aware, but this shit is bananas. I must have been dreaming.

>>10229611
Strange cats are usually an omen of death.

YOU GONNA DIE ANON

>watching music videos on youtube
>about to watch the next one
>specifically of a really obscure indie band neither you nor anyone has ever heard of (well atleast back then, 3 years ago)
>mom comes in "go to sleep dipshit"
>well fuck
>go to room, turn tv on
>MTV
>wtf? I never watch mtv, last time I turned it off I was watching CNN
>music video I wanted to see comes on
>wat
>wat again, as I remember I live in a latin american country and mtv wont bother showing anything besides reggaeton or Beyonce
>everythingwentbetterthanexpected.png

MUCHAS GRACIAS HIPSTER GOD

>>10226160
#2 is easy, coffee grounds were full of air before being poured into can.

>coming back from a retarded camp thing on a bus
>have to sit next to one of the ugly chaperone bitches
>I think in my head over and over that i wish she'd die
>we stop for lunch
>she goes to the hospital

dafuck.jpg

This happened to me today and I totally bugged out
>playing crackdown 2
>pause before I attack a "freak hive" or w/e they are called
>go to get a drink, and piss
>come back and unpause
>every freak hive has been blown up, all collection units are required, all tactical locations required
>check skills. ALL EXACTLY THE SAME

WTF man?

>>10227389
a seering hot rod in his pocket you say....

tears

>>10227227
>fox
>channel 10
You have Cox Cable

Dunno how to do green so...
>Wake up in morning
>Yelled at to wake up
>Can't see straight
>Say I can't wake up because of the camera angle
>Move hand and hit mouse on desk next to bed
>See perfectly
>WTFMAN

> move out of house, live with friends
> can't fall asleep in new room
> restlessly stare around room
> suddenly become aware of young girl sitting on my chair watching computer (which is turned off)
> wtfman, that's my neighbours kid
> she vanishes after half a minute
> fall asleep have nagging feeling when i wake up
> call to home, just to check
> nothing

you see this is glitch because i was hoping i had premonition of her dieing, but alas

>>10229335
Makes me wonder how you have not seen a single Freddy Krugar movie.

>>10226160

> Running home from McDonalds with new set of friends
> We take a shortcut through this empty plot of land
> Am suddenly hit with epic deja vu, literally stop running and stare
>First time I've been here
>Empty plot of land ends up becoming stage for most of the important events of my life for the next 5 years

>Start to pour myself a glass of orange juice
>All of a sudden I'm pouring my orange juice on the floor on the other side of my kitchen
>glass is half full, floor is soaked

What the fuck did I do? Momentarily black out, move, and start dumping my OJ out?

>Need something from another room
>get up and go to that room to get said object
>In room, no idea why I'm there

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK
KKKKKKKKKK

>Eating bag of sour skittles
>3 more left
>take two and eat them
>Look inside
>5 more left.

Okay goddamnit this pizza meme what is the origin of it cause I tryed everything at knowyourmeme and it doesn't pop up inb4 everyone opens the door and get's on the floor to walk to dinosaur while bursting into treats.

>Air conditioner is broken
>Unplug it
>Take front panel off
>See exposed high voltage, high amperage copper strip that leads to the compressor
>Accidentally touch it with the tip of my leatherman tool
>GIANT FUCKING SPARK
>The tip of my leatherman gets fucking melted from the current (pic related)
>I wtf harder than I ever have before
>Look over, it's plugged in again

The weirdest part wasn't that it was plugged in again, no. The weirdest part was that the leatherman didn't cause a short. It touched a single piece of copper. So the electricity had to have somehow been grounded out through me. Easily enough electricity to kill me if it was enough to arc-weld the tip of my hardened steel pliers.

BUT I DIDN'T FUCKING FEEL ANYTHING.

To this day, I hold it as the weirdest fucking thing that ever happened to me.

>>10228311

Teh Animatrixes

ITT: Everyone is Tyler Durden

Tonight this happened, and is still happening
>Every board except for /b/ is Yotsuba

>>10230065
Happens to everyone. When it happens to me I stand still for a few minutes looking around trying to figure out what I forgot. Usually I remember after looking like a retard for 5 minutes.

<I had a dream I was killing china men.
<I wake up in my room, people are there (witches or something? dunz remember)
<First dream in the longest time that made me scared.
<I wake up again

Feels weird. I was freaked for a many minute.

other then that, I get deja vu ALL THE TIME. But I am pretty sure I actually did it before.

>See a man dressed in all black
>See him at the book store
>Month later, see him walking on the street
>Couple months later see him at the airport
>See him IN THE PLACE I WENT AFTER GETTING OFF THE PLANE
>Back home, see him in the grocery store
>Every time I see him we meet eyes

>whatthefuckman

>>10227508

what a bitch

whatabitchblox

>>10229674
sounds like sleep paralysis, if it happens regularly see a neurologist.

>>10230340
lol dudes gonna slice you up..or rape the ever-loving shit out of you

>>10230020

Amazing!

mybloxwillbenullnulloneseven

>>10230505
Don't put those thoughts in my head again. ):

>friend is able to lick his elbow

>christmas eve 1997(or 98)
>playing with legos
>build a bunch of cars, make them crash
>newsflash comes on: masive car accident etc etc etc
>funny coincidence
>keep on playing, make the cars crash again
>newsflash: another huge car accident blablabla
>o...k...
>build plane just to make it crash and see what happens
>newsflash: plane crash
>OHWOW.JPG
>build helicopter with same intention as plane
>newsflash: yup, helicopter crash

I WAS GOD!

>Walking home from the mall with my friends
>Decide to take a shortcut through an abandoned construction site even though we're not supposed to
>See a bunch of weird lights in the sky
>Something slams into the ground and we all duck
>We get up and notice that it's a ship of some kind
>A door opens and a blue centaur-like alien with no mouth comes out
>We hear his thoughts
>He tells us to touch a box and that we need to fight for our planet
>We agree
>We see more lights in the sky
>We all hide
>More aliens show up, one of them grows very large and eats the first alien
>We all run home

This happened like 2 months ago

>laying in bed at like 5 am asleep
>suddenly start screaming bloody murder
>crying, shivering, sweating all at once
>walking down hallway to parents' room screaming
>snap out of it and wonder why I was screaming
>next day, wake up and ask what happened
>possessed?

>>10230566
fuckin animorphs

>>10230557
please dont lie on the internet. god sees everything

>post picture on /r9k/
>go to /b/ see whats happing
>see same picture :/
>ffffffuucccccc

>>10230557
You should've kicked around a model of the earth.

>>10227232

This happens to me daily.

>> at a convience store late at night to buy munchies >>reccieve change
>> get back $3.41
>> claim it's that time
>>check time
>> 3:41am
> fuck yeah.jpg

>walkin down town with a buddy of mine, gonna get some burritos
>checking out this 9/10 in this red dress
>slow down, she's checking me out too
>hurry up they're waiting on us bro
>lady in the red dress is now hugo weaving wielding a gun
>he slips me his phone number as we pass him
>i'm sleeping with my cat and i call him
>all i hear on the other line is meow meow
>look over and my cat is now agent smith

I remember one time in my junior year of highschool I felt like I was going blind. At one moment I just noticed that I could not focus my eyes on anything. It was so weird. My vision was perfectly fine and then one moment I just notice that I can't see shit; everything is blurry. Not only that, but in the middle of my vision was a black spot. This went on for like 2 hours until I just kind of snapped out of it and everything went back to normal. But I was so scared that I was losing my vision and would never be able to see again.

>>10230726
You had a silent migraine with aura.

>>10227655
Jesus bloody fucking christ in orange lederhosen.

That is THE funniest thing I have ever read.

>Home alone.
>Stumble out of bedroom at night in the dark.
>Go to bathroom.
>Peeing, hear someone say "we need you" in another room.
>Freak out.
>Stay in bathroom as chattering continues for half hour with weird blurbs, whistles, whooping sounds, piping music and pops, all in between repeated "we need you".
>Man the fuck up, go to source of sound.
>"We need you!"
>It's in my bedroom.
>"WE NEED YOU!"
>Stand outside door.
>"WE NEED YOUR...?"
>Open door.
>"WE NEED YOUR HELP!"
>I accidentally stepped on my N64 while getting up, resetting it, and now the Star Fox 64 demo is playing in a loop on the TV.
>Sigh of relief.
>Turn around.
>CAN'T LET YOU DO THAT, STARFOX!
Dead

>>10230743
What the fuck is a silent migraine with aura?

>>10230790
A silent migraine is a migraine without pain.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aura_%28symptom%29

>open flip phone
>rings as soon as i open

>>10230726

ive had silent migraines before too

had one during a maths test once, couldnt see wtf i was doing with my calculator even though it was ride in front of me

also was watching tv and got one and couldnt see what people looked like properly, huge blurry flashing lines in my vision as well as blindness/blurryness

look at yourself in the mirror, twas pretty weird

>see ex with new boyfriend walking in front of me
>they were going right so i turn left
>after 5 minutes see them walking towards me
>ask them how the fuck did they do that
>get called crazy

>>10226638
it's called scotoma
you have brain lesions on your occipital lobe
it's not a big deal unless it really bothers you, and even then, there's nothing you can do about it

>be about 5
>jump down stairs that have 1 curve
>perfect landing on both feet at bottom of stairs

>Walking through an abandoned building with my friends.
>As we're walking up some stairs, I see a cat walk by in an adjacent hallway. It meows softly, gives a full body shake and walks away.
>Look back toward the stairs.
>Turn back around and there is the same cat. It does the exact same thing it just did.
>"Huh.... deja vu..." I say aloud.
>"WAT?!" female friend asks, as though she didn't hear me.
>"I just saw this cat... it walked by and then it walked by again..." I say, perplexed.
>Black friend freaks out. Tries to open windows.
>Windows are brick walls.
>Wat

>>10226934
Fucking love you man

>Mom asks me to go the bank for her.
>Get in car, drive to bank.
>Park in the parking lot and get out of car.
>Start walking.
>Look up.
>There is no bank.

> Drink a bottle of straight scotch
> Smoke an ounce
> Be skinny
> WhyIsn'tItAffectingMe.bat