>go to theater
>watch movie
>nothing interesting happens
>leave when it finishes

>movie cuts off halfway through
>friends on iPhones, decide to play the penis game
>strangers start playing
>shout it really loud
>cinema goes silent
>I win

crucial bro.

> watching SW2: Clone Wars
> Yoda hobbles in to fight Doku
> motherfucking STANDING OVATION FROM TWO AUDIENCE ROWS
> friend and i lol at absurd levels of faggot

>>10147417
> SW2: Clone Wars
not to be nitpicky, but pretty sure you meant:
> Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones

>Watch movie
>not notice Shyamalan because he is just another Indian guy with lots of Indians in the film
>surprised when reading this thread

>Go to cinema
>Buy popcorn
>Eat popcorn before movie starts
>Sit still and watch movie

>MY GIRLFRIEND drags me to the CINEMA to see a FILM
>A group of african american males start commenting on the production while it is rolling
>their unsolicited shenanigans prove to be more amusing than the film
>the film ends, i'm still a virgin

>about to see movie
>Twillight New Moon trailer
>dramatic silence after it ends
>some black guy gets up and yells "GAY !"
>lold

>watching movie, watchmen iirc
>at some point, some kid tries to start a clap
>nobody claps
>i lold

>movie night, go out on date with gf
>shit at theatre, decide on Zak and Mari make a porno
>buy tickets, get inside, see not many people, lesbians, Michael Cera
>yell "Fuck this is Nick and Nora!" check tickets, yep, Nick and Nora, exit theatre, replace tickets for Zack and Mari
>tell this story 20 times a year.

>Go watch Clash of the titans
>The Expendables trailer plays
>everyone goes ape shit
>I spent $13 just to watch that trailer

>>10147452
>>10147417
Of all the movies I've see nin my life, nobody has ever reacted to any movie Iike they have Episode 2. Also the part where jango fett releases the seismic charges, after the silent explosion with the loud bang the whole damn cinema jumped.

>watch the movie white girls in a theater filled with blacks
>me and my two friends are the only white people there
>seemed like the funniest movie i had ever seen
>watched the movie when it came out on dvd and it was not remotely funny
>naggers

>Go watch Transformers 1
>See Cloverfield trailer
>Cloverfield trailer was better then entirety of Transformers movie

>>10147514
That was actually not a fake story. Standing ovation.

>Working as an usher supervisor for Rave Motion Pictures
>My elite usher squad is cleaning18, one of the largest auditoriums
>Asshole 65 year old manager comes in
>Starts meticulously nitpicking the theater
>Finds a single piece of popcorn under a seat at the very top
>Tells me that he may have to write me up
>He walks to the steps leading down to the ground level
>Trips
>Falls head over heels down every step
>Is unconscious when he lands at my feet
>Look at my elite usher squad
>My face

>>10147549
i want this to be a true story so bad

(but, y'know. 4chan etc..)

> go into movies
> watch movie
> movie finishes
> walk into another movie
> ask what move is this? to some other people
> Twilight
> do this 3 more times
> FUCKING 4 ROOMS ARE PLAYING TWILIGHT AT THE SAME TIME

> Snakes on a Plane
> everybody in the theatre says "i'm sick of these motherfuckin snakes" etc. along with leroy jackson
> mf :)

>>10147564

It's very true. They knocked him down from a managerial position too, because they realized that health insurance would have to cover any further mishaps that could be blamed on his age. And he didn't even get to clean or anything. He just tore tickets.

> > walk into another movie
> > ask what move is this? to some other people
why the fuck do you do this

>watching predators
>boring part starts I could tell
>go outside for a smoke
>some old spic thinks I'm trying to sneak in because I'm holding the door open
>looks at me all serious and closes the door
>manager asks me what I'm seeing and at what time and lets me in

>Watch The Happening
>Makes no sense
>M. NIght Shyamalan
>Oh ok

>me and my friends are the only people in the movie theater
>express our anarcho-libertarian values by throwing popcorn at screen and putting up a big middle finger to the man

>>Go to the movies almost ever 2 weeks
>>Nothing remotely interesting has ever happened.

Except at the very end of There Will be Blood, me and my dad both started laughing uncontrollably. If you've seen it you'd understand.

>Watching 'Jumper'
>The character (Hayden Christensen) is making love to the female character.
>Some guy shouts YOU CAN DO IT ANAKIN!
>Epic lulz in the cinema.

>7th or 8th grade, my crazy friend has this green toy snail that he practically worships
>Go see a movie
>He sits the snail on the arm of my chair
>I knock it off
>Don't notice
>See it's gone
>Oh fuck
>"Hey, Friend..."
>"Yeah, Anon?"
>"Moses is gone."
>"WHAT"
> We hunt around the theatre looking for this fucking snail
> Ask other members of the audience 'HAVE YOU SEEN A GREEN SNAIL'
> it's on the floor beside my seat

This was before the movie started.

> go to cinema
> least charismatic villain ever
> someone in the back row yells "hey this guy lacks charisma"
> our whole group of friends look at my date
> my face

>>10147625

that makes no sense. you and your friend a giant fucking tools and i hope i see riot police beating the shit out of you and your faggot friend.

>>10147635
I don't understand your reaction

Lost MY Virginity, while watching titanic.
damn those were good times.

>>10147640
Man, we just don't give a fuck about anything.

I once wrote "war" in magic marker on a stop sign, thus making it read "stop war", so the war-profiteers in the White House would pass by and know that I know they're a bunch of war-profiteers.

>>10147635
love to tease him about it and loved his flustered face!

>>10147625

>>me and my friends are the only people in the movie theater
>express our anarcho-libertarian values by throwing popcorn at screen and putting up a big middle finger to the man after paying him for our movie tickets and popcorn (and not even eating it)
>GOTTA DIE GOTTA DIE GOTTA DIE FOR YA GOVERNMENT

>>10147666
and obvs i meant >>10147650

>>10147663
Hell yeah man, you are my hero! Keep on fighting the good fight.
STICK IT TO THE MAN!

>>10147663

9th grader detected.
I'm willing to bet you smoke pot cuz it's 'edgy' and wear Che Guvaera shirts.

(is it Guvaera or Guevara?)

>>10147663
lol nice try, 0/10

troll harder brah..
blcocks

>>10147650
The implications that that anon is implying is that it has a vagina, and is thusly deserved of you attention. Furthermore it believes that terrible story is somehow "cute," "quirky," or "endearing," because of the aforementioned presence of a vagina.

> Me and buddy go to Dead or Alive on the second to last day it was screening
> Get food and go to the theater
> only ones there
> "Hay anon, check it out"
> buddy has flipped up the arm rests and is laying down
> flip up my armrests and lay down too enjoying the experience
> fall asleep
> rent it for free from the video store I work at
> I still think it was worth it

>>10147711
>>10147730
are you guys fucking serious? That was the most sarcastic shit I have ever seen.

>>10147711

Are you honestly trolled that easily?

You fucking retard.

>Go to see March of the Penguins
>Movie reaches the penguin love scene.
>Tender moment where penguins are nuzzling each other and just ready to start getting groovy
>Suddenly, gigantic crooning alarm sound - WOOOOOOoooooOOOOOooooOOOOO
>Gigantic mood killer
>Theatre is still, everyone awkwardly thinking 'man... penguins sound really retarded when they bone
>After half a minute, someone realises that it is actually a fire alarm.
>Leave cinema
>Cinema burns to the ground

Stupid penguins

>Watch Get him to te Greek
>Movie is shit
>leave halfway through
>Sneak into Shrek
>Hookup with girlfriend
>Fingering her behind the kids engrosed in the movie
everythingwentbetterthenexpected.tiff

>>10147911
>>10147938
I've been trolling /r9k/ for months, most of them are like this. /r9k/ is just a bunch of angry people who feel they're better than everyone else.

> Go to movie
> Public Enemies trailer shows up
> Girl friend whines about how much she hates Christian Bale
> Also adds on that she detested him as much as Robert Downey Jr
> We break up later that week
> I thought we had a little more in common then just pokemon and drawing

>Go to see Paranormal Activity
>Cinema is full of black people that scream at every little movement
>Ushers constantly threaten to phone the police
>Watch it till the end, then get a refund

Terrible

>Go to watch District 9
>Twilight trailer comes on.
>Majority of the people in the cinema laughs.
>Feels good man.

>walk into cinema today
>red carpet it laid out for katherine keigl and ashton kutcher
>see predators instead of waiting and seeing them come in
>walk into cinema with friend
>not many people
>someone is sitting in my allocated seat
>make loud disturbance and make the chick sitting in my seat get up and move
>watch movie
>movie is shit
>throw popcorn at chick
>miss every single one


i don't know, /r9k/

>Go to watch Star Trek
>Bunch of rowdy teenagers come in and sit right behind me
>Think "Great, shits will talk all the way through he movie".
>Movie starts to show.
>"WHAT? STAR TREK? WE'RE IN THE WRONG MOVIE GUYS"
>Teenagers leave.
>Watch movie.
>Wished I was in the wrong movie.

>>10148059
Dude I was in the same Cinema. What time where you there?

>>10147938

you just got trolled hard

reversetrollblox

>>10147375

op no joke when i saw inception on opening night the same thing happened to me.

i believe it was called hurr durr were trapped in an elevator

>>10148106

>be a dumbass
>LOL I WAS TROLIN!

Sure you were, champ.

>star trek premiere
>trendy hipsters everywhere
>star trek is cool now

better than expected.jpg

>>10148090

4.45 session

holyfucknath

>>10148090

I was there too! I wanted to see Ashton's webbed feet

>>10148157

all of you faggots get off my board

there was a cute chick in a blue costume and i was honestly going to put her in the rape zone

>Midnight Premiere of Iron Man II
>Trailer for Twilight: Eclipse comes on
>Everybody starts going apeshit and constant booing occurs
>Man throws his coke at the screen
>Everyone applauds the man who threw his coke

>see wall-e at the final week
>cinema is empty apart from me
>cry at the end
>get up to leave
>4 girls watching me from the back
>try to leave without eye contact
>they all get up and give me a group hug
>spend rest of night in a bar getting free drinks from girls

>Go to see inception
>a bit late so have to sit in the front row
>during movie hear shaking noises behind us
>dudes getting a handjob
>from another dude

>>10148149
Fuck man we probably walked past each other. I ended up in Shrek hooking up with a girl

>friend and i go to see Get Him to the Greek
>allocated seats 2 & 3 in an aisle
>friend sits in seat 1 and i sit in seat 3
>random 14 yr old chick sits in between us
>both pretend to make a move on her
>she doesnt notice
>shitting brix trying not to laugh
>she moves
>suddenly i notice the cinema is full of asians
>shout "HOLYFUCKAZNS"
>didn't actually shout that
>watch movie in silence

>>10148182

haha, i would shit brix if you were the dude on my bus that i ended up seeing like 5 times

i was wearing a white hoodie, trackies, i have faint blond stripes in my hair and a huge cut under my eye

AND I WAS LOITERING SUSPICIOUSLY NEAR TIMEZONE

scrdx pq abvbcqidydulh jskucsmlytbzpzcatv

>>10148172
Ha.
Ha.
Oh.
Fucking.
Wow.

I lold, you win.

> Crowded cinema.
> Idiots throwing sweets from the back.
> People deal with it.
> One just misses me and it hits off metal bar in front of me
> It clangs, as if it's hard.
> Immediately after, guy to my left across the aisle stands up
> Brick shithouse of a guy.
> THROWING SWEETIES LIKE A TOUGH CUNT, EH? 'MON DOWN HERE AND SHOW'S HOW MUCH OF A BIG MAN YE URR.
> Silence.
> No more projectile sweets.

Scotland, by the way.

>>10148200
Fucking hell brah. Fucking hell

> Meet up with girl I met over interbutt for the first time.
> Christing fuck she's so gorgeous.
> Get tickets for Shutter Island.
> Have a walk before the film starts.
> Fuck fuck I want to kiss her.
> Go back to cinema.
> Watch movie.
> Halfway through, she shivers.
> I put my hoody over her.
> She looks at me like :3
> Put her head on my shoulder.
> Fucking do it faggot. DO IT.
> Put my arm around her shoulder.
> She cuddles in closer.

Felt fucking good.
Feels even better now that she's my girlfriend. :3

>watching some movie with grandparents in texas 10 years ago
>movie stops midway through
>announcement in the mall/theater of tornado warning/watch (dont remember which)
>everyone to evacuate mall or go to tornado shelters in mall
>everyone goes apeshit
>poor usher trying to give free ticket vouchers to people exiting
>me and cousins laughing our asses off at everyone
>last ones out of theater and the usher just leaves the roll of tickets on counter
>yoink!
>stand outside and watch the chaos in the parking lot while waiting for grandparents to get the car

there wasnt even a tornado around for 100 miles and that just hit some fields. saw about 10 minor accidents while landwhales try to get their little airbreathers out of the parking lot without caring for their or other peoples safety. later sold off most of the ticket vouchers and bought a shit load of fireworks.

one of my best summers growing up

>>10148298

>met on interbutts

hate to say it brah

dude's a chick

>>10147629
the "I Drink Your Milkshake" meme came from the movie. Not the other way around.

just so you know

>>10148305

I think you mean "chick's a dude."
And we've been going out for 3 months now. I can assure you she's quite female.

>13 or 14 years old
>stay out all night for the first time with my 2 best bros at the time
>daylight comes
>we decide to go to a movie
>FUCK YEAH WE'RE SO AWESOME WE STAYED UP ALL NIGHT AND NOW WE'RE GOING TO WATCH AN AWESOME MOVIE
>wake up
>credits are rolling
>we're still awesome but tell no one what just happened

>>10148305
what part of "met" (physically) didn't you understand?

>watching Fast and Furious with two friends (I didn't want to but whatever)
>halfway through the movie
>two 12 yr old kids start throwing lemonheads at everyone in the crowd
>some hit the back of our seats
>friends rage
>other groups of people who have been pelted with candy look to be pissed too
>end of movie
>my friends march up to the kids and start yelling at the, going full on bitch-mode
>kids deny doing anything even though the box of candy was sticking out of their backpacks
>group of guys exiting dump jumbo popcorn and drinks onto the kids

>>10148298
>meet a slut over the internet
>she wants to fuck
>instead, cuddle and make her my girlfriend
>now I pay for all her shit and attend to her while tons of alpha males meet her over the internet and fuck her
I fix'd that for you. By the way, no gorgeous girls do internet dating. So enjoy your slutty landwhale.

>Watching return of the king on opening night
>Everyone cheers and claps when Movie comes on
>Standing ovation at the end

>Go to see Paul Blart mall cop, since Douglas Steven is a pretty funny actor
>Realize I'm surrounded by kids
>Realize the movie is nothing but fat jokes
>Lose a little respect for the actor

>watching inception
>facebook movie trailer comes on
>everyone laughs

>>10148401

Sure is butthurt in here.
Just you keep thinking that though, brah. I know she's gorgeous and awesome and most certainly not a landwhale as you put it, I don't really feel the need to go out of my way to justify myself to some anonymous loser.

Enjoy your crushing lonliness.

>watching transformers 2
>chick with the robotic tail is on screen
>suddenly, guy behind me
>" THIS IS MY FETISH. "
>brofist him
>we end up becoming close friends

>>10148468
> watching transformers 2
there's your problem, moran

>>10148479
It.. wasn't my choice. I was forced man.

>go see Paranormal Activity with friends in cinema in shit part of town.
>loads of loud scummy shitheads talking through the whole thing.
>afterwards, don't see why everybody's so scared of it.
>go see it again with girlfriend.
>almost empty cinema.
>HOLY SHIT THIS FILM KICKS ASS.

it's all about the atmosphere.

>>10148457
>I don't really feel the need to go out of my way to justify myself to some anonymous loser
And yet, that's exactly what you attempted to do.

>>10148468
People like you are a fucking cancer.

>>10148494
Serious question incoming:
don't you think that 80 minutes of your life could have been better spent headbutting a brick, alone?

I do. If i ever (again) watch more than 10 minutes of a Transformers movie i'd be pretty sure that my time would have been better spent headbutting bricks.

>Go to the theater mid-day on a week day to see Clerks 2.
>Nobody there. Whole fuckin' room to myself.
>Fuck. Yeah. Get comfy and enjoy personal screening of Clerks 2.

>>10148506
i'm not even the guy who got his girlfriend, i just wanted to tell you that you are a massive asspirate faggot

shut up

>>10148401
See the picture.

>>10148457
Good for you dude. It's nice to see people finding love on the interbutts.

>>10148510
lol TF and TFII weren't that bad though

>>10148508
.... Why? Because I befriened someone at the theater? Okay then.

>watching the first lord of the rings
>I'm on non smoking balcony, box section below full of smokers
>pipe smoking scene with bilbo and gandalf
>gandalf says "the best weed in the south valley"
>theatre erupts into "YEEAAAH"

>>10148518
>>10148526

Cheers bros. Always nice to find people on this board who aren't butthurt bitter virgins.

>>10148232

HAhaha, Scottish people are fucking awesome

>Be alone because I'm in screening room 9 of 15 of the multiplex that only plays original language
>Scratch balls and put feet up
>Feels good man.

>Go for weekly cinema-fuck with girlfriend
>See No Country for Old Men
>I'm riveted
>She's frustrated

>Dating a guy who'd rather play the vidya instead of playing with me...
>if you know what i mean.
>Go on a date to the movies not expecting much
>He puts his arm around me and accidentally brushes against my boob.
>"C-Can I squeeze your boob?"
>Lets him squeeze my boob as I play with his cock.
>Spend the rest of the movie like this, nobody notices, he's whimpering and panting by the end.
>From then on, he would rather play with me instead of his vidya
>My face

>Go to cinema with girlfriend and two other friends, a couple.
>Empty screen, just us.
>Girlfriend and I sit at the front, other couple at the back.
>Both receive blowjobs during cinema.
>"YEEEEEEEAAAAAAAH."

We all laughed afterwards. That was a great night.
Fuck knows what film it was, though.

>>10148656

During cinema? During the movie, I meant.

correctionbloxx

>>10148625

Similar story except I was just on a date and my gf was trying to get me to pay attention to everything she did. "Fuck that bitch! This movie is great shut up and let me watch" Broke up later but I still liked the movie better then her

>watching Click
>Retard there with his carer shouting "*carer's name* SCRATCH MY BACK"
>Dramatic ending scene with ben stiller dying in the rain, whole place is completely silent
>"IT'S NOT REAL"

>>10148951
That was probably the only Ben Stiller movie that I've enjoyed watching. Every other Ben Stiller movie is terrible and he should be shot for being party to their existence.

>>10148518
Let me guess, you met some lardass over the internet as well? And now you've got some precious love affair going on? Fuck that shit, presumably you're young...you guys should be going out, getting drunk, fighting douche bags in the parking lot, and fucking some random whore in your backseat. Not "I cuddled with some internet whore in the movies, it was nice :3". You guys make me sick.

>>10147417
>misspelled the movie title, AND Dooku's name.
>thinks he has a right to call real fans of the movies faggots.

ohoho, you card you.

Adam Sandler, not Ben Stiller.

>>10149073

sure is bitter virgin in here.
did she turn you down, anon? did she awkwardly friendzone you for an alpha?

>>10149073

HURR I'M SO ALPHA IT HURTS I LIKE TO FIGHT DUDES BITCHES BE DREAMING OF THIS.

Meanwhile, IRL....

>>10148232

I love these moments, mainly because I'm Scottish.

>>10149073

Hahahahaha. Hahaaha. Ahaha. Awwww.
You're on /r9k/. Who the fuck are you kidding.

>Pre-previews advertisements and trivia is rolling
>Flashes a quote from George Lucas
>"A special effect without a story is a pretty boring thing."
>Entire theater laughs

>go see paul blart mall cop
>had sushi before going in for lunch
>mustve been bad sushi
>agonzing stomache pains throughout movie
>go to toilet twice, expel my shit
>still have terrible pains
>tell everyone that i just feel sick form the sushi
>no one must know my secret

>go see toy story 3
>theater full of children
>at the part where they are jumping over a bin full of cans or something
>woody tries to climb out
>the bear comes out of no where and steps on his hand
>guy in theater jumps back startled yells out OOOH SHIIIT
>everyone laughs

>>10148015
How it possible not to fucking love RDJ?

>watch iron man 2 expecting shit
>realise i am attracted to RDJ
>don't know how to feel

>Watching Independence Day
>About 3/4 of the way through the movie and its the greatest experience of my 10 year old life.
>Projector breaks. Theater gives us vouchers for a free show.
>Disappointed at first until I realize I get to watch everything blown to smithereens AGAIN.

>hotbox friends car
>me and him go see avatar, for shits and giggles
>Sleep.
>"dude that film was alright."
I watched it again at home, but it was utter wank, I fell asleep at home too. and i wasnt even high.

>At the midnight screen for Harry Potter 6
>Twilight: New Moon trailer plays
>No reaction from audience. I go "Booooo!"
>Couple people chuckle.

Thank God Potterheads don't cross over to Twilight-tards

>Go to see Toy Story3 with my current Girlfriend.
>Been waiting forever to see this movie.
>Not as many people as you would expect in the cinema.
>Don't take any interest in her at all through the whole movie.
>She has a go at me after the movie for not paying attention to her.
>Explain to her Toy Story 3 was way more interesting then her.

>>10147711
No, they're libertarian anarcho-capitalists. They wear t-shirts with Rush Limbaugh, Ronald Reagan, and Sarah Palin on them.

>Me and two bros get drunk as shit, 1am
>MOVIE TIEM
>Only movie left playing is Ninja Assassins
>Approach theater, go into Ninja Assassin mode
>Sneak into movie without paying (SO FUCKING ALPHA)
>Movie sucks, spend two hours sneaking around theater, completely convinced no one sees us because we are hammered
>Laugh hysterically at part where ninja compound gets blown to shit by the military

>see pitched black
>it starts thundering outside
>end of the movie when they are escaping
>out of nowhere a creature appears (final boss)
>all the lights in the theater turn off
>its pitch dark in the theater and everyone starts running out the theater

>>10149525
>pitch black

fixed~

>>10149128
You're right, my bad. They're pretty much the same thing anyway

>watching dark night
>girl is kissing harvey dent
>nigger girl stands up and screams
>"she's a whore!"
>whole theater lolz

I also started a round of applause at the end of Airbender.

>at theatre with a girl
>she lets her hand slide over the handrest
>it goes past my hand and into my lap
>I give her the cockeyed "really? here?" look.
>she unzips my pants and starts tugging.
>we make out while she beats me off.
>after about 20 minutes it's getting heavy and she starts to make too much noise so we stop before we attract attention.
>absently fondle each other for the rest of the film with her head on my shoulder.
>don't remember the fucking film.

>ads for movies come on
>ad for Angels & Demons
>"...the greatest enemy to christianity ever"
>both me and my friend shout out "THE JEWS?"
>whole cinema turns around at us except the one guy behind us laughing
>laughing guy spills his drink on his date because of it
>trolololol.png

>>10147512
your retarded as fuck sir

go to customer service and tell them you had to leave and want a refund they will do it
especially if the movie didn't even start

>>10149628

Awesome.

bloxbloxblox

>>10149628
I was at the beach last week and we were playing voleyball with some random people. My kyke friend approaches and I yell "No jews allowed!"

Everyone just stares at me.

>Sit through the credits on a hunch there will be an after credits scene
>Nothing
>Walk out during the credits
>Find out there was a scene after the credits

Every fucking time.

>Finish watching toystory 3
>Everyone stands up and starts clapping

Also everyone was crying

> High of my tits In the cinema with friend
> watching the yu-gi-oh movie
> wtfisthisshit.jpg
> Don't understand anything
> Giggle profoundly
> feel myself emotionally attached to the characters (I do gay shit when I'm high)
>Yugi Activates that fucking manlions Trap card
> Yell "OH SHIT OH SHIT"
> People look.
> Its some gay pyramid.
> Fall asleep

>Friend and I take respective girlfriends to cinema
>G.I. Joe
>Women are captivated by shiny graphics and loud noises
>Him and I both fall asleep, wake each other up with snoring
>Turn to each other, pretend not to have fallen asleep, ask if the other heard snoring
>Girlfriends didn't notice

>Go see 'Hitchhiker's Guide' on opening night with towel (discount fuck yeah)
>Great time watching movie with bunch of geeks
>Go again week later due to friend paying for my ticket
>LOL at theater full of geeks singing 'so long and thanks for all the fish'

>>10150142
I fucking hate that.
WHY DO THEY DO THAT?!

>Go to see Fahrenheit 9/11
>Part where it follows a mother who said the War is a good place for her son to be so he can get cash for college
>Later on, she's crying, her son got killed.
>Audience is silent, some tearing up.
>I exclaim, "Well, at least it was worth it for the money!"
>Girlfriend and her friends, along with the whole theater look at me.
>feelsgoodman

>went to movie
>had to wrap my woman up nicely to make her presentable
>buy my tickets and soda for the film
>sit and has the would be has been
>no one notices rubber doll
>this is when the has been could do was being today the last
>rubber doll has the was be can do if
>see film was directed by M.Night Shyamalan

everything went better than expected

>>10148951
>>10149005
Ahem...Ben Stiller?

>>10150443
wat
bloxwatwatbloxxyblox

> At some retarded movie
> Girl gets a phone call, starts yakking
> Some dude punches her, grabs phone, runs out of theater
> Girls runs screaming after him

>Watching Kick Ass
>Part where Nicholas Cage is talking to Hit Girl after being set on fire in the chair
>It's supposed to be really sad
>People crying
>I find it hilarious
>Laugh like a bastard
>Everyone is looking at me

>Watching Elf at cinema with a group of friends
>All have loads of popcorn
>Popcorn fight

>15 years old
>taking this 20 year old from out of the state chick from i met at a concert out. ohnowatdo
>pick artsiest theater
>pick the smaller 20 seat theater to watch some french movie about mentally ill people and ryan adams or something
>fuck her constantly for the next two days
>never see her again

>>10150499

well who didnt?
SET
TO
KRYPTONIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITE

>live in maryland
>sneak into national treasure 2
>they go to the university of maryland in the movie
>FUCK YEAH LETS GO MARYLAND CHANT
>people get butthurt
>lolz

>same day actually
>sneak into I Am Legend
>Woll Smith meets the two survivor people
>Yeah we came up here from Maryland to New York
>FUCK YEAH LETS GO MARYLAND WHOOOO
>laugh even harder

American cinemas are absolutely disgusting. They are like zoos.

>go to the cinema
>get strange looks from teenage girls and their mums, because I'm the only 21 year old guy watching Twilight on my own.

>15th birthday
>8 friends over, after an hour or two of Smash Bros, squeeze into the small rec room area of the basement
>Friend pulls out unrated Team America
>Get to the sex scene
>Our faces

>>10150611

>Read this story
>Think you must be underageb& for only being 15 when Team America came out
>Realise it came out 6 years ago
>What the fuck, man

>>10150639
It astounds me too. I don't feel 20.

>>10150499

I lol'd fucking hard at that part too.

They way everyone else was running around going crazy, and this guy was just sat there on fire. I thought it was SUPPOSED to be funny

>Go to the movies with some girls
>They don't know what they want to see
>End up deciding on this black person Christmas comedy, I can't remember the name because they are all the fucking same
>Walk into the theater, all blacks
>The only seats that are open are directly in the middle of a packed row
>Squeeze through about 12 Shaqwandas who won't move their legs more than an inch for us
>"Oh lawdy white boy what you doin steppin on mah feets like dat"
>Everyone glares at us the whole time
>Feels bad man

>>10150556
Fellow Marylandfag here, I love you.

>Go to see Titanic with my mother
>I think it's okay, Mum is not impressed at all
>Get to the scene in the sea where the chick is like "Jack, Jack wake up!"
>Mum says quite loudly "HE'S DEAD, YOU DAFT BINT"
>Entire theatre glares at us

>>10150499
I laughed too, I kept thinking this is obviously the part where he becomes the Ghost Rider... couldn't stop laughing.
>>10150443
>rubber doll has the was be can do if
WTF.
also:
>Work at theatre
>Manager pulls me outta booth
>tells me I can make 20 dollars quick
>Someone shat NEXT to the toilet.
>I pick it up, with a bag, and proceed to run like a girl
feels... disgustingman.jpg.

>Watch inception
>Cobb spins top
>Credits
>Trollface.jpg

>go see Paranormal Activity
>some nigger has fallen asleep
>snoring loudly during the very quiet night scenes
>people try waking him up but give up after a while
>another night scene, I remark, "There's the ghost!" when he snores loudly, people who can hear around me chuckle
>someone goes gets one of the theater workers
>she pokes him with the end of a broom, he doesn't wake up
>eventually a cop comes
>semi-wakes up the dude, must have been drunk or drugged, half carries him out the theater
>He matter of factly says, "Y'all enjoy the rest of your movie."
>applause for him from the packed theater

Was fun man.

>Go to Jakob the Liar with girlfriend
>Robin Williams in the holocaust
>Movie sucks
>She goes down on me
>Cum at very inappropriate time in movie's plot
>So ridiculous that I start laughing
>The theater turns around, thinking I'm laughing at the jews dying
>Girlfriend recovers nicely, lifting her pizza slice and acting like she'd dropped it
>She was eating pizza while nob-gobbling in a theater

>>10150888

There must be something with black guys falling asleep in public. I've sat next to so many sleeping black guys on the bus that it's ridiculous.

>Go to see The Producers remake
>5 minutes in, me and my bro + dad are already cringing beyond normal limits at embarrassing film
>all 3 at the same time look at each other and say, "Bail?"
>"Bail".
>walk out
>Get a KFC and watch The Good The Bad and The Ugly at home

Wasted our money but at least we just ditched rather than torturing ourselves. Still the only movie I have walked out on.

>watch Pulp Fiction in theatre
>I came

>don't drink for hours before going to the cinema
>piss before leaving the house
>go to cinema
>urinate before the movie
>need to go again after half an hour
>wait out the remaining 3/4 wishing it will end so I can piss again
>every fucking time

>>10151003

I envy you, Pulp Fiction in the cinema must be awesome.

Gotta see Terminator 2 in a cinema one day.

>>10151029
The local art house plays cult films every 1st saturday and The Room every 2nd.

feelsgoodman.jpeg

>>10151082

You lucky...enjoy man, thats cool.

>go to see Ghost Rider
>Black women infront of me
>Throughout the movie hear "dat skully man on fire"
>"oh no he did-nt"
>And other classics.
>Made a semi decent film hilarious.
>Watching it on DVD is just not the same

>in nazi germany
>at movie premier
>hitler is present, cool
>sit with my date
>we're behind a nervous italian guy
>suddenly, him and his friend leave
>date and i enjoying film
>decide to finally make my move on her
>giant talking face appears on screen
>suddenly, fire everywhere
>exits blocked
>mass hysteria
>oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck
>contemplate kissing my date
>theater blows up
>still a virgin

>>10151309

I see what you did thar good sir

>>10151022
My goodness... me too man, me too.


I wonder why :(

>friends and I go see Transformers 2
>Rainn Wilson appears on screen
>we all LOL
>we purposely LOL at the sentimental scenes as well as other inappropriate scenes
>some 12 year old in front of us is giving us dirty looks

>>10151309
At first I was eager to anticipate a Great Dictator reference. Then I didn't know what you were talking about. I assume one of the many assassinations on Hitler.

>>10151573
Go watch Inglorious Basterds, then come back

What the hell happened to M. Night?

WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO HIM?!

I saw the world premier of that Sorcerer's Apprentice movie.

It was a mediocre Disney movie.

That's the only story I have.

I hate Nicholas Cage.