Anonymous
06/16/13(Sun)20:29 No.15654824

Anonymous 06/16/13(Sun)20:29 No.15654824

>>15653792 (OP)
be yourself

oh wait, nevermind

be exactly the opposite of what you normally are

Anonymous
06/16/13(Sun)20:32 No.15654885

Anonymous 06/16/13(Sun)20:32 No.15654885

Replies: >>15654929

Portray yourself the way you want to get treated. Be respectful. Kiss ass. Have and portray the attitude that if they dont pick you, theyre making a mistake. Worst comes to worst say youre Jewish and pull the muh anti-semetism card.

Anonymous
06/16/13(Sun)20:32 No.15654895

Anonymous 06/16/13(Sun)20:32 No.15654895

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>>15653792 (OP)

Anonymous
06/16/13(Sun)20:33 No.15654929

Anonymous 06/16/13(Sun)20:33 No.15654929

>>15654885
or this, just pretend you're a tranny

Anonymous
06/16/13(Sun)20:33 No.15654931

Anonymous 06/16/13(Sun)20:33 No.15654931

File: 1371429216929.jpg-(19 KB, 700x479, 1366343785812.jpg)

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>White male

Anonymous
06/16/13(Sun)20:33 No.15654940

Anonymous 06/16/13(Sun)20:33 No.15654940

You have a friends recommendation. Basically you just have to try not be a slobbering retard and you are in.

Anonymous
06/16/13(Sun)20:35 No.15654968

Anonymous 06/16/13(Sun)20:35 No.15654968

File: 1371429317907.jpg-(333 KB, 600x800, kmh7qbk0.jpg)

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>Fill out 5 year long application

I AINT READIN THIS SHIT

Anonymous
06/16/13(Sun)20:35 No.15654975

Anonymous 06/16/13(Sun)20:35 No.15654975

Replies: >>15655027 >>15655071 >>15655082 >>15655099 >>15655271

Get a little drunk right before the interview. It'll loosen you up.

Anonymous
06/16/13(Sun)20:36 No.15654997

Anonymous 06/16/13(Sun)20:36 No.15654997

I worked at target when I was 20. It kind of sucks there. I was a cart attendant though which was easy as fuck. I could wear hats and shit that the normies inside couldn't get away with.

It's so repetitive though, and drove me out of there within 6 months.

Anonymous
06/16/13(Sun)20:37 No.15655027

Anonymous 06/16/13(Sun)20:37 No.15655027

Replies: >>15655071

>>15654975
This. Shows you know how to have fun as well. If they ask where you see yourself in the future; say retired from being a Target cashier after 45 years.

Anonymous
06/16/13(Sun)20:38 No.15655054

Anonymous 06/16/13(Sun)20:38 No.15655054

>>15653792 (OP)
Talk about jews with you're employer.

Anonymous
06/16/13(Sun)20:38 No.15655071

Anonymous 06/16/13(Sun)20:38 No.15655071

Replies: >>15655135 >>15655146 >>15655271

>>15654975
>>15655027
Don't listen to these OP, alcohol will backfire.
Either smoke some marijuana or get some good quality MDMA

Anonymous
06/16/13(Sun)20:39 No.15655082

Anonymous 06/16/13(Sun)20:39 No.15655082

>>15654975
Oddly enough when I worked at target one of the supervisors was chill as fuck and came in one day smelling like captain morgan.

I kind of laughed and went on with my work.

Anonymous
06/16/13(Sun)20:39 No.15655093

Anonymous 06/16/13(Sun)20:39 No.15655093

>>15653792 (OP)
Joke around with the interviewer, make some lighthearted jabs at his expense. No one wants to work with a humorless stiff.

Anonymous
06/16/13(Sun)20:39 No.15655099

Anonymous 06/16/13(Sun)20:39 No.15655099

>>15654975
This.

Anonymous
06/16/13(Sun)20:39 No.15655102

Anonymous 06/16/13(Sun)20:39 No.15655102

Replies: >>15655271

>>15653792 (OP)

Do a couple lines of coke right before you interview.

Anonymous
06/16/13(Sun)20:41 No.15655135

Anonymous 06/16/13(Sun)20:41 No.15655135

Replies: >>15655271

>>15655071
Alcohol won't backfire. Get faded, but use visine. Loose, but not too loose.

Anonymous
06/16/13(Sun)20:41 No.15655143

Anonymous 06/16/13(Sun)20:41 No.15655143

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Offer up a sexual favor. I assume your friend can vouch for you on your dick sucking skills

Also can't recommend some lines of coke enough. Worked for James Woods in "The Boost"

Anonymous
06/16/13(Sun)20:41 No.15655144

Anonymous 06/16/13(Sun)20:41 No.15655144

Offer to suck your interviewer's cock for the job.

Anonymous
06/16/13(Sun)20:41 No.15655145

Anonymous 06/16/13(Sun)20:41 No.15655145

Replies: >>15655206 >>15655290

>>15653792 (OP)
>live in Argentina
>Jobs are literally thrown at me and I reject them because I want to focus on study only
What the fuck america? I live in a shithole but I can get good jobs any time I want to.

Anonymous
06/16/13(Sun)20:41 No.15655146

Anonymous 06/16/13(Sun)20:41 No.15655146

Replies: >>15655271

>>15655071
Do shrooms and take a few shots of wiskey.

It will be something to remember.

If you shit in the in the trash can while at the interview it will just give them more reason to hire you on the spot.

Employers love that shit.

Anonymous
06/16/13(Sun)20:41 No.15655151

Anonymous 06/16/13(Sun)20:41 No.15655151

Replies: >>15655220 >>15655222

target has a pretty intense interview, i used to work there. it has question of whats your best traits and examples when you used it

Anonymous
06/16/13(Sun)20:42 No.15655173

Anonymous 06/16/13(Sun)20:42 No.15655173

>>15653792 (OP)
If you haven't seen the movie Drive starring Ryan Gosling, I suggest you do.

The 'driver' is a really cool, laid back and suave character. Try watching the movie a couple times and learn how to act like him. Probably will need to practice a little but it really works for me.

Anonymous
06/16/13(Sun)20:43 No.15655190

Anonymous 06/16/13(Sun)20:43 No.15655190

Replies: >>15655244

Would I satisfy the requirements for being a NEET if I'm unemployed and on summer break (waiting for the next semester to start)?

Anonymous
06/16/13(Sun)20:43 No.15655206

Anonymous 06/16/13(Sun)20:43 No.15655206

Replies: >>15655264

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>>15655145
It's because you're white

Anonymous
06/16/13(Sun)20:43 No.15655220

Anonymous 06/16/13(Sun)20:43 No.15655220

>>15655151
I worked there so long ago that I really don't remember the interview. I do recall the annoying training shit with other trainees who were literally stupid fucks. i ended up teaching these dimwitted women how to use the cash register after only a days training on it myself.

Anonymous
06/16/13(Sun)20:43 No.15655222

Anonymous 06/16/13(Sun)20:43 No.15655222

>>15655151

When they ask you what your best traits are, you should say that you can down a case of miller lite in less than an hour. It shows that you know how to have fun, are enthusiastic, talented, and an all around well rounded employee.

Anonymous
06/16/13(Sun)20:44 No.15655238

Anonymous 06/16/13(Sun)20:44 No.15655238

Replies: >>15655284

Target employee here.

I hope you answered the political part of the application correctly.

What position are you shooting for, I can tell you how fucked you are.

Anonymous
06/16/13(Sun)20:44 No.15655244

Anonymous 06/16/13(Sun)20:44 No.15655244

Replies: >>15655332

>>15655190
>NEET
>Not in employment, education or training.

Am I a NEET when I come home from work or university because I'm waiting for the next day to start xDDD

Retard.

Anonymous
06/16/13(Sun)20:45 No.15655262

Anonymous 06/16/13(Sun)20:45 No.15655262

Replies: >>15655298 >>15655315 >>15655340 >>15655530

Dress down--you do not want to outclass your interviewer.

Ask about receiving a signing bonus, as they will not always offer it up front.

If your interviewer is a female, ask for a male instead for personal reasons. (females only hire candidates they are sexually attracted to)

Anonymous
06/16/13(Sun)20:45 No.15655264

Anonymous 06/16/13(Sun)20:45 No.15655264

>>15655206
This could sound a little bit bad, but I think it's more or less true. If you are white and have a STEM major in Argentina, you are set for life. You are virtually a god.

Anonymous
06/16/13(Sun)20:45 No.15655271

Anonymous 06/16/13(Sun)20:45 No.15655271

Replies: >>15655322 >>15655323 >>15655349

>>15654975
>>15655071
>>15655102
>>15655135
>>15655146
Yeah, right. OP will fuck up his interview unless he's a functioning alcoholic or stoner already.

Dead serious, OP, pop an addy. Or any amphetamine, really. Even meth.

Anonymous
06/16/13(Sun)20:45 No.15655284

Anonymous 06/16/13(Sun)20:45 No.15655284

Replies: >>15655352 >>15655428

>>15655238

Political part?

Do you have to basically agree, both legally and ideologically, to be a slave?

Anonymous
06/16/13(Sun)20:46 No.15655290

Anonymous 06/16/13(Sun)20:46 No.15655290

>>15655145

This is why we need glorious fascism.

Anonymous
06/16/13(Sun)20:46 No.15655298

Anonymous 06/16/13(Sun)20:46 No.15655298

>>15655262
This.

Anonymous
06/16/13(Sun)20:46 No.15655315

Anonymous 06/16/13(Sun)20:46 No.15655315

>>15655262

Solid advice.

Anonymous
06/16/13(Sun)20:47 No.15655322

Anonymous 06/16/13(Sun)20:47 No.15655322

Replies: >>15655412

>>15655271
How get amphetamines?

Anonymous
06/16/13(Sun)20:47 No.15655323

Anonymous 06/16/13(Sun)20:47 No.15655323

Replies: >>15655412

>>15655271
FTFY.

Heroin is the drug of choice for interview nerves.

Anonymous
06/16/13(Sun)20:47 No.15655332

Anonymous 06/16/13(Sun)20:47 No.15655332

>>15655244

Well, three months isn't exactly a weekend.

>retard
b-b-but muh physics award...

Anonymous
06/16/13(Sun)20:47 No.15655340

Anonymous 06/16/13(Sun)20:47 No.15655340

Replies: >>15655362

>>15655262
>If your interviewer is a female, ask for a male instead for personal reasons. (females only hire candidates they are sexually attracted to)

This is good advice, but you should really also ask for a non-faggot male interviewer for the same reason.

Anonymous
06/16/13(Sun)20:47 No.15655349

Anonymous 06/16/13(Sun)20:47 No.15655349

>>15655271
Haha you sound like a complete basement neckbeard loser. Fuck off.

OP take some MDMA or Cannabis it WILL loosen you up. Don't listen to these idiots whose exposure to drugs goes to the extent of watching a movie or something.

Anonymous
06/16/13(Sun)20:48 No.15655352

Anonymous 06/16/13(Sun)20:48 No.15655352

>>15655284
Of course.

Don't forget to open a TARGET REDCARD™ so you can actually use your employee discount while you are there.

Anonymous
06/16/13(Sun)20:48 No.15655358

Anonymous 06/16/13(Sun)20:48 No.15655358

Wear your mother's make up and clothes with a wig.
If you find the interviewer becoming distant or saying "we'll call you" (sure fire sign you're not getting hired) make a big deal. Yell "DISCRIMINATION!" and make sure to call him "privileged" and "cis scum".

Anonymous
06/16/13(Sun)20:48 No.15655362

Anonymous 06/16/13(Sun)20:48 No.15655362

>>15655340

But with a fag you can offer to suck his dick for the job. Remember, you're competing with chicks.

The MAD GASSER of MATTOON !8LfrTU04T6
06/16/13(Sun)20:49 No.15655397

The MAD GASSER of MATTOON !8LfrTU04T6 06/16/13(Sun)20:49 No.15655397

Replies: >>15655506

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Just be ready for the penis inspection. They may wait after they hire you during the trainee courses.

Penis inspection day is always nerve racking, but if you keep everything clean you should do fine OP.

Anonymous
06/16/13(Sun)20:50 No.15655412

Anonymous 06/16/13(Sun)20:50 No.15655412

>>15655322
Hit up a college campus.
>>15655323
Nah, man. Nerves of steel, not a warm, cozy blanket.

Anonymous
06/16/13(Sun)20:50 No.15655428

Anonymous 06/16/13(Sun)20:50 No.15655428

Replies: >>15655446

>>15655284
You have to make it clear that you're ready to fight and die for Israel should Palestinian insurgents raid during a blue light sale.

Anonymous
06/16/13(Sun)20:51 No.15655446

Anonymous 06/16/13(Sun)20:51 No.15655446

Replies: >>15655500

>>15655428
>blue light

that's kmart you peasant

Anonymous
06/16/13(Sun)20:52 No.15655495

Anonymous 06/16/13(Sun)20:52 No.15655495

File: 1371430371561.gif-(2.95 MB, 390x293, 1368437495736.gif)

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>no PhD in advanced theoretical barcode scanning


IN WITH THE REST.

Anonymous
06/16/13(Sun)20:53 No.15655500

Anonymous 06/16/13(Sun)20:53 No.15655500

>>15655446
Sorry, I meant white's only sale.

Anonymous
06/16/13(Sun)20:53 No.15655506

Anonymous 06/16/13(Sun)20:53 No.15655506

Replies: >>15655545

>>15655397
I can confirm that penis inspections is part of the target employee health policy.

Working there myself I became a higher up supervisor and was put in charge of hiring new staff from time to time. I personally inspected penises, with gloves on of course.

Anonymous
06/16/13(Sun)20:53 No.15655530

Anonymous 06/16/13(Sun)20:53 No.15655530

>>15655262
>If your interviewer is a female, ask for a male instead for personal reasons. (females only hire candidates they are sexually attracted to)
I agree with that first notion, but how do you just go "Another recruiter, please"? I don't think they'd comply.

Why the fuck are HR departaments filled with women if all they do is check out whether the guy they're recruiting is hot or not?

Anonymous
06/16/13(Sun)20:54 No.15655539

Anonymous 06/16/13(Sun)20:54 No.15655539

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>>15653792 (OP)
Wear a tuxedo
Don't shower for a day or two so that the interviewer becomes attracted to your pharamones.
If interviewer is female be sure to say "I bet da pussy game ridiculous".
Make sure you're spastic and uneasy.
Try to direct the conversation towards politics and religion so they know how passionate you are.
Focus on issues like abortion and be adamant in your position.
Laugh snobbily at there position so that they envy you.

Works errytime

Anonymous
06/16/13(Sun)20:54 No.15655545

Anonymous 06/16/13(Sun)20:54 No.15655545

>>15655506
PENIS INSPECTION DAY.

Fuck I remember those at school. Even the adult working world needs them too I guess.