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03/25/10(Thu)18:13 No.449554 
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 Be nice to your siblings. You
never know when you might need some money and one of them might turn out
to be a cash cow. Understand that boyfriends and girlfriends come and
go which is why you should change your phone number every six months.
Work
hard to bridge the gaps in your teeth because teeth are a clear sign of
intelligence. If you have lots of missing teeth chances are pretty good
you're an idiot.
Live in New York city once, but leave before it
makes you hard. Live in San Francisco once but leave before it makes
someone else hard.
Accept certain inalienable truths:
Some
mom's mustaches come in better than yours.
The older you get the more
you will suck at stuff.
When you go to the zoo the animals will stop
what they're doing and stare at you.
At your funeral everyone will
be hungry and say "I wish there was a buffet out because I could nibble.
Get
involved with someone with a trust fund. Stay over at their house and
wake them up by throwing pennies at their feet, then say "Hey rich boy
you want a piece of me?" Make them pay you to go away.
Be careful
whose advice you buy and make sure you keep the receipt. Advice is a
way of learning from someone else's mistakes. Take those mistakes and
throw them back in their face, never let them forget their misery.
The
best advice you can ever receive is: "Never try." |
