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  • File : 1277379551.jpg-(156 KB, 600x500, News 2.jpg)
    156 KB Ozy D !!BxgROamIIg3 06/24/10(Thu)07:39 No.1453035  
    Anchor: Today's top story. Julia Gillard seized power today in a military coup as tank and machinegun fire rocked the city of Canberra early this morning. Mrs. Gillard has now declared Martial law in the city, although other locales such as Sydney remained largely unaffected.
    >> Fire Lord !AZULaFMcQ. 06/24/10(Thu)07:41 No.1453053
    Mite b cool
    >> Ozy D !!BxgROamIIg3 06/24/10(Thu)07:43 No.1453065
         File1277379834.jpg-(31 KB, 450x591, Putin 2.jpg)
    31 KB
    >>1453035
    Anchor: we go now to our other story which is the Israeli invazn of 4chan. 4chan has a new ally this morning, and it may surprise you.(cuts to Putin and Medevev at podium)
    Putin: We the people of Russia, giving our solidarity to the people of 4chan. Once again, capitalist NATO does nothing as Jewish aggression continues to claim lives of innocents. NO! Russia standing for this no longer. We taking action by sending guns and cabbage to people of 4chan, especially the citizens of /k, who have shown their support for Russia.
    >> Ozy D !!BxgROamIIg3 06/24/10(Thu)07:48 No.1453096
         File1277380133.jpg-(14 KB, 249x306, Barry.jpg)
    14 KB
    >>1453065
    Anchor: We attempted to get comments from top /k officials such as S.T.A.L.K.E.R. but no one has returned our calls yet. Now to our tactician Barry McCaffrey.
    Barry: This good news for the channers. How good depends on what the Russians are sending. If they're sending Hinds or T-90s then the Jews may as well just leave now. Otherwise its still a cat's game
    Anchor: WTF?
    Barry: Don't tell me you've never played TicTacToe
    Anchor: My pubic hair is in the shape of a TicTacToe Board but I've never played
    Barry: *Facepalms*
    >> Ozy D !!BxgROamIIg3 06/24/10(Thu)07:53 No.1453128
    >>1453096
    Anchor: For more details we go to /k with our correspondent, Ryan Scheffield. Ryan?
    Ryan: Several Toparevs just flew over and so far they've managed to drop a shitload of AK's and RPG's. Now I'm being told it takes a number of RPG Hits to destroy a Merkava but luckly the /kommandos already have a handful of Javelins for the big jobs. Also among these care packages are SA-8 grails. Not as good as stingers but these bad bitches can still do some damage.
    >> Ozy D !!BxgROamIIg3 06/24/10(Thu)07:56 No.1453145
    >>1453053
    just u wait.
    >> Anonymous 06/24/10(Thu)07:58 No.1453162
    C-C-COMBO BREAKER
    >> Ozy D !!BxgROamIIg3 06/24/10(Thu)08:07 No.1453213
         File1277381236.jpg-(41 KB, 450x365, Jim.jpg)
    41 KB
    >>1453128
    Anchor: Thank you Ryan. Wikileaks is currently reporting that the Rudd Regime was planning to support Israel in retaliation for Operation Titstorm. But will the Gillard dictatorship do the same? Here now with us is our Australian corespondent Jim Jifferies. Jim?
    Jim: the fucks up with you lass (drinks from 40 oz.)? You ovulatin or something? Good means ur not pregnant which is great for me. Now look, I got no problem with women in the News, men need that shit. But women, in my PM? Its a lot more likely than you think. As a matter of fucking fact, its so likely, I couldn't sleep-then again that was more likely due to goddamn mortar shells landing in mah front yard mate.
    Anchor: Do you think Gillard will support Israel against 4chan?
    Jim: She's no Conroy but I still have no idea what the fuck that bitch is gonna do next. I predict Mass murder for the lulz and for fapping purposes. Back to you, you miserable cunt.
    >> Anonymous 06/24/10(Thu)08:10 No.1453233
    Austriafags confirmed for having a Welsh bitch as their new leader.

    >I fucking lol'ed

    Fail country
    >> Anonymous 06/24/10(Thu)08:14 No.1453262
         File1277381684.png-(44 KB, 826x496, welsh_flag.png)
    44 KB
    >>1453233
    We Australia now.
    >> Ozy D !!BxgROamIIg3 06/24/10(Thu)08:38 No.1453386
         File1277383126.jpg-(26 KB, 300x383, Julia.jpg)
    26 KB
    >>1453213
    Anchor: We are getting footage in from Julia Gillard's press conference.
    Gillard: It is with greatest humility, resolve, and enthusiasm, that I sought the endorsement of my comrades to be the labor Fuhrer and to be the Premier of this country. I grew up in the great republic of South Australia in a home with hard working parrents. They taught me the value of hard work. They taught me the value of respect. They taught me the value of killing your bit for the community. It is these values that will guide me as the Chairman of Australia. I believe in a government that rewards those who work the hardest, not those who complain the loudest. I believe in a government that rewards those who follow the rules, who work in our factories and military, those who stand by their government and love their country. And I beleve that leadership is about the Authority that grows, mutual obedience between colleagues. It is these values that guided me during my 3 and a half years of loyal service. I asked my comrades to make a leadership change, a change because I believed that a good government was losing its way, and that the fundamental services Australians rely on were at risk at the next election. I love this country and was not going to sit idly by and watch an incoming opposition cut education, cut health, and smash rights at work. My values compeled my to step forward, to take power. I certainly acknowledge that I have not been elected by the australian people. Ultimately, Kevin and I disagreed about the direction of our government. I will be descussing with Kevin his future within the parliamentary system
    >> Anonymous 06/24/10(Thu)08:41 No.1453406
    If it weren't for that hot french news anchor, i would've hidden this thread.

    France does have hot news anchors, i'll give them that.
    Shitty soccer players though.
    >> Ozy D !!BxgROamIIg3 06/24/10(Thu)08:44 No.1453423
    >>1453386
    Anchor: Julia and the crowd then began singing "Horst Wessel Lied" and "The International" for some strange reason.
    >> Ozy D !!BxgROamIIg3 06/24/10(Thu)08:55 No.1453483
    >>1453423
    Anchor: There is a lot of speculation as to what happened to former PM Rudd. The new government claims that he is still a free man although many dissidents claim that he is being held in a secret prison. Others still claim that he escaped to his home country of Best China.
    >> Ozy D !!BxgROamIIg3 06/24/10(Thu)09:02 No.1453522
    >>1453233
    Theyre screwed.
    >> Anonymous 06/24/10(Thu)09:09 No.1453558
         File1277384997.jpg-(26 KB, 600x450, 1271454340923.jpg)
    26 KB
    >>1453406
    >> Anonymous 06/24/10(Thu)09:13 No.1453571
    this thread is made of pure win



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