Anchor: let's go to our corespondent Randy Jackson.
Randy: Yo dawg shit gettin real in here man. I mean, like, they just parachuted in here dawg. Madonna was there an everything but, I have absolutely no fucking idea who these other motherfuckers are.

Why did you abandon the thread yesterday, OP? It could have been epic. Now you have to start over.

>>1359204
Anchor: Thank you Randy, glad to see ONE of our reporters actually survive a story. Let's go now to our millitary analyst, retired General Barry "The other Barry" McCaffrey, general.
Barry: thank you Tim, now I know this situation looks fucked but the chans have something the Jews don't.
Anchor: What the fuck is that barry?
Barry: Anime, fucking anime, mark my goddamn words, will change the course of this war.

>>1359231
OP here, only had a couple of hours to post. if you notice this going back a couple pages, add your own content or at the very least bump or sage. This must shown to the world

>>1359241
Anchor: let's go now to r9k, where the Jewish planes were first spotted. We have here with us Wise Beard Man, who first alerted NIGRA HQ to the invasion, Mark?
WBM: thanks Tim, as a member of 4chan's elite millitary I was disgusted at the failure of the ACS system. We're not sure how it was compromised, but I think SeaOrg played a role.
Anchor: let's listen to the tapes.

>>1359268
Nigra HQ: Charlie Papa, we're reading over 9000 bogeys in your sector please verify.
Niggertits AFB: Very funny Station. That's a big negative over.
Nigra HQ: Charlie Papa, be advised, running diagnostics to scan for malfunction.
Niggertits AFB: Skies are clear, Station. You've got yourself some phantom dots, over
Nigra HQ: Papa November 6. Signs in your sector of some 100 bogeys , please advise.
V&nderberg AFB: Negatory, Station. Scope is clear. I dunno what to tell ya. Solar interference? Heavy Sunspot activity today.
Nigra HQ: October Papa, , uh... we may have a minor ACS fault here. Do you have anything on your scope?

>>1359278
Wise Beard Man: I'm looking at fighter jets over R-9000 how the hell did they get through?
Nigra HQ: Stand by!11 Attempting to contact the nearest nigger in that sector.
Samuel Jackson: I read you. This is Derp battalion, 75th Nigger regiment., Samuel Jackson, Acting commander of Trollface 2-1. Do you copy over?
Nigra HQ: all stations be advised- satalite surveilance has been disabled at this time. LOIC arrays and harpoons are inactive at this time.

>>1359285
Anchor: well?
WBM: I kind panicked on this one. Look, I'm set to be married soon and I don't want some fundie with a gun to keep that from happenning. The good news is that here in r9k we still have some AA up and running. Let's hope this works. Hail Xenu!

>>1359299
Anchor: sorry Mark, we're outa time becuase the Israelis have just begun to attack /p. any thoughts Barry?
Barry: Given the fact that the average Israeli woman is an epic camwhore I'm not suprised. I'm not all that sure what anon can do about this. Those cunts just have wayyyy to many photos.

>>1359336
Anchor: let's spin this wheel we have over here to determine which province we check in with next......../lit it is!111 Let's go to Donny Faustus....Donny WAKE THE FUCK UP111
Donny: wha'? oh no no Israelis here, we're all tired as fuck man, I'll call if shit comes up alright? now leave me the fuck alone.

>>1359395
Barry: Lemme intterupt for a second Tim and give everyone the breakdown.
/k-taken but some /insurgency
/new-contested, high casualties
/b-allways contested
/mu-invasion begun
/tv-subjugated
/s-contested, lots of raep
/d-contested but favors anon at this point
/r9k-contested
/p-invasion begun.

Somehow this was funnier yesterday :(

>>1359426
Anchor: Thanks Barry and let's go to /int with our corespondent, Okonkwo Motembu.
(bbbzzzzzz but not as loud as/b) Okonkwo: here in /int we are highly anticipating the world cup where there is a lot of rivalry and-
Anchor: nigga please this isn't the sports report, we're covering the war.
Okonkwo: oh. No fighting here other than soccer hooligan skinheads tryin to lynch a nigga. Also, some people are saying this province has AIDS.

>>1359462
OP here, give it time Igot a suprise.

>>1359464
Anchor: lets go now to another press conference with Gabi Ashkenazi, head of the invasion force.
Gabi: Before I take questions and moneies, let me say that this is not simply a raid. This is the final step in controlling the internets. soon Obama will have emergency powers over the internets and soon our grip on the online world will be complete. Questions?
Reporter: Derp ummmm, Isn't that contrary to the whole notion of like.....democracy and shit?
Gabi: Hahahahaahahahaa- kill him
Reporter: no please no I don't wanna die
Israeli: prep the fire and magnets
Gabi: this conference is closed due to faggotry

>>1359491
Anchor: that was a press conference with Gabi Ashkenazi and- wait what the fuck am reading? Oh Shi- ladies and gentlemen....sev...7chan.....has been PWNed.

>>1359508
producer (off camera): get yourself together faggot.
Anchor: I have family there (sniffles) well what's this? The Israelis just emailed us a preliminary list of provisional queens of the occupied territories.
/b-Sarah Silverman
/tv-Amanda Peet
/k-Melanie "Jewish Vengence!" Laurent
/s-Bar rafaeli
/new-Natalie Portman
/r9k-Sarah Jessica Parker

>>1359612
Anchor: let's read some comments left on our Twitter page. Here's one from anon "I usually don't listen to stormfags but I just typed in Jewish actors and it took me here:http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Jewish_actors. I shat brix"

derrp

don't worry free market will fix 4chan

>>1359612
>Queen of /new
>/new-Natalie Portman

I'm ok with this. Long live our /new/ overlord.

Anchor: With us now is Hannah Liptzshitz, an Israeli Jew currently serving in the invasion force. Shalom
Hannah: Shalom
Anchor: question hannah, how are the people of 4chan being treated?
Hannah: well we're only going after their terrorist government and that faggot m00t. We're treating all civilians with respect and decency according to international law (wink)
Anchor: why is there some guy on a leash next to you?
Hannah: err ummm.. he attacked us he's a terrorist, WE RAN OUT OF HANDCUFFS111

>>1359491
>Ashkenazi
>darkest least European looking Jew I've ever seen

What is that guy? He looks like a Mexican married an Arab and their kid married a Neanderthal.

>>1359822
>implying that Zionist Jews haven't ruled the earth for the last 5000 years

>>1359865
I'd say he looks moar like Spock on Krispy Kremes.

>>1359861

Militant Jewish women are going to invade and put me on a leash?

YES

THIS IS MY FETISH

>>1359896

>>1359896

There are worse fates.

Moral of this thread: Better to be conquered by rabid Zionists then by Muslim fundies.

>>1359896
you sir, have mommy issues

>>1359934

>>1359612

Continue with this.
I want to know who the Queens of /h/, /y/, and especially /d/ are.

>>1359949
pay attention to the tv faggot. The Jews aren't even close to taking those provinces because they don't have anime

>>1359861
Anchor: that was awkward. Let me just take this time out to remind our viewers that this show is sponsered by the Gay Nigger Association of America. Anyway, let's go to our weatherman Phat Phil Jackson.
Phil: sup nigga? da bzzzzz dum stopped in /b yo and boy am I fucking glad. Everyone was gettin mad an shit.
Ancho: In your expert opinion, do you believe that Israel was behind the bzzzzz?
Phil: shit I don't know. Who do you think you are Denny fucking Crane?

>>1359949
/y/ - Michael Lucas
/d/ - Dana International
/h/ - uhmmm... maybe the guy in the pic?

>>1359938

Mommy issues are but one of the many facets of my mighty psyche.

>>1359991
bitch please

>>1359938

If my mommy looked like and IDF supermodel, I'd have an entirely different set of mommy issues.

>>1360024
JIDF DETECTED!

>>1360046
Aww fuck you caught me.

Sadly my mommy is an American Jews, so instead of leashes I have lifelong neuroticism and guilt.
Dammit, I wish I was a badass Israeli.

>>1359822
Shut up JIDFfag

>>1360057
You can never hide from the Spanish inquesition

>>1360066
shut up britfag

>>1359991
I have no idea who those people are.

derp

>>1359987
Anchor: ummm, thank you Phil. and let's go to /b now with amy Jonson. Amy?
Amy: well, I'm here in this kitchen and it hurts because I was like raped an hour ago. (sniffles) The good news however is that the bzzzz is gone I repeat the bzzzzz is gone.
Anchor: thank god and now to /k with Johny argone.
Johnny: eh, its quiet as fuck now everyone's scared and (gunshots) ah shit gotta run.

>>1359247
this

>>1360229
Anchor: This just in. A bzzz storm is now over r9k. Phil?
Phil: it semms dat uh the cloud done moved ova a bit and now this is a disruptin AA defenses in dat areuh.

>>1359822
YOU KNOW REALIZE THAT THE NEW WORLD ORDER IS HERE

>>1360307
lrn2spell faggot

>>1359861
We are in ur nation, killing ur G0yz.

>>1360366
gulp

>>1360366
Try and stop our conquest 4chan. The nazis couldn't stop us. The commies couldn't sop us. What makes you think you can? Get real faggots YOU ARE OUR SLAVES NOW!!

Die goyim!

we haz sekrit hitex weaponz

So some self-wankery roleplay making fun of the JIDF?
Take it to /b/.

Anchor: we go now to /new where the Israelis are trolling hard in the form of guns and bombs. Here now is our star reporter Chris Hansen with the story.
Chris: Deep in the plains of 4chan's /new province, the fight rages on between 4chan's army and the Israelis. /new, 4chan's second most unstable province is home to much political violence. /new reacted the quickest to the Israeli invasion and it was here that the first Israeli troops landed. The purpose here for the Israelis is simple, wipe out all opposition. Where as in places such as /k where propoganda has triumphed over punishment, here in /new there is no mercy, the populace of /new is entirely unsympathetic to any form of propaganda. We spoke to one Israeli Chaplin earlier. Hi there, would you mind sitting down?
Rabbi: WTF is this shit?
Chris: You wanna tell me what you are doing here?
Rabbi: There was this boy who called and said he needed our help. Evidently there are sandniggers in the area.
Chris: I have a chatlog between you and a little boy who lives in this bombed out village Mr.....Thornburg is it?
Rabbi: yes
Chris: "Sure I'll meet you kid. I am coming with my army unit so maybe you can get some pussy before I fuck you hard" Is this true?
Rabbi: Ye...ye...yes
Chris: I'm Chris Hansen and I'm from Dateline and I'm doing a story on-(gunshot, rabbi falls dead)
Chris: what the (looks up sees pedobear at the door with a scoped rifle)fuck.
Pedobear: NOBODY STEALS MY FUCKING SHOTA NOBODY (jumps out the window to the ground 3 ft. below)

>>1360526
I would but /b is fucking retard these days all they do is look at porn and now theyre on this vuvuzela kick.:(

b gets too crowded over the summer, too many posts, most of them bad

>>1359181
Ｗ w Ｗ . a N Ｏ n t A l K . Ｓ E wtlrc t qczbrk lalr sfe knjcbik ffiqpb fa l

>>1360592
you can say that again

Fight the goyim, kill all conservatives, kill all liberals.
Lets crush this kosher eating infidels.
dayum!

>>1360630
whateva nigga

>>1359241
http://vodpod.com/watch/3121548-zionist-cartoon-brainwashes-kids-to-hate-arabs-by-jewish-zionist-leo
n-schlesinger
Where is your animú now, goyim?

>>1360644
that's the best you fags have lol
Jews cannot into anime

>>1360135
Google is your friend.

Lucas: Major US gay porn star and rabid Zionist. Leads gay sex tours of Tel Aviv, followed by historical study and tourist in Jerusalem.

Dana International: Israeli Transvestite. Won Eurovision in the 90s or so.

>>1360644
As opposed to Hamas' wholesome children's programming.

>>1360659
!

Notice the six pointed star, goyim!
All your bases are belong to us!

>>1360671
you gotta admit though, they epically trolled disney with that one

>>1360686
not enough to take over the shit load of anime/hentai ect. boards on 4chan.
Epic fail

>>1360673
>>1360686
Troll harder JIDFags

>>1360706

And then Disney had him assassinated.

You don't mess with the mouse.

OP please repost the Charlie Sheen and the strap on one from yesterday??

>>1360545
Anchor:Thank you Chris, full of winrar as always. Now let's go to a press conference by Israel PM Benjamin "The Other Big Ben" Netanyahu.
Ben: Let it be known that I no longer want to be referred to as the PM but rather as Head Kuffa in Charge. Now I shall take ur bitch ass questions
Reporter 2: Sir Sir, Isn't it true that the term kuffa is arabic for infidel and as such doesn't apply to just Jews? (awkward silence) (Israeli Soldiers approach, tackle reporter, pull down his pants) DON'T RAEP ME BRO!!!!! (Soldiers drag him away)

>>1360880
accessing archives..........(notice: slightly edited due to bad memory)
Anchor: We go now to /s where Israeli women have just arrived. Covering this story is hollywood playboy Charlie Sheen.
Charlie: I'm standing here in/s where Israeli women have just arrived. Let's talk to one of the-say.. what's with the strapon?
Israeli girl:(shouts in Hebrew, other Israeli girls with m16s and dildos arrive)
Charlie: What is this I don't even- (Israeli girls point thier guns at Charlie, one points her gun at the camera) Oh Shi-(gunshot, static)

bump

Long live to our Zionist Overlords for the Make Profit Popular Republic of United Stans

>>1361022
All ur Goy Boy Toyz r belong to us. Now we make babies that r considered Jewish because the mother is Jewish thereby destroying all other races bwahahahahaha

>>1361104
dumping pics of black nazis to make the jewboyz cry

>>1361104
the fuck?

>>1361140

>>1361104

wat

also, file name.

>>1361165
Why is this picture so small?

>>1361186
OP here it is thumbnail. Believe it or not these guys actually existed which upon hearing, should make a Jew's head explode.

>>1361211
Seems more like pictures of World War I Tanganyka Colonial Troops.

As early as 1936, Hitler regarded niggers as an inferior race, below slavs.

>>1361264
Stop listening to Jew media faggot. and read:http://www.inconvenienthistory.com/archive/2009/volume_1/number_3/adolf_hitlers_armed_forces.ph
p

>>1359183
worst thread on /new/

>>1361211
Nigga please, its a shop.
Notice how the hat has a red small circle, and then it seems as if it had a fold that then led to another part of the hat with a nazi eagle.

Also note on the side, the flag isn't nazi germany's, it has stars.

>>1361293
So Hitler steam rolled the whole of europe west of Russia with unprepared forces?
Untrained and badly equiped soldiers?
Don't make me laugh nigga.

>>1360937
Anchor: We are also hearing from the White House. White house Secretary Robert Gibbs is speaking.
Robert:There will be no questions today as it is a violation of the first amendment to rape or kill anyone because of their speech. I will only say that the President admires Israel for their bravery. 4chan has been nothing but a cancer (lols) to the American people. They represent everything we hate, lulz, musical talent, leaderless resistance. We will be giving the Israelis whatever funds they need to get the job done. Thank you.
Aide: Psst, Sir, where are we gonna get the money.
Robert: Taxpayers dumbass. Also, be at the lodge tonight for some buttfucking.
Aide: Sir?
Robert: What?
Aide: Ur Mike.
Robert: FFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUU--

>>1361324
Its a regiment patch dumbass. Greetings from /k shits fucked up over there.

/new is funnier than Colbert today

>>1361407
FUCK YEAH

And now a Commercial Intermission

>>1361407
that's because colbert isn't funny

Reporting

>>1361512
speaking of terror did you know that Al-Qaeda was trained by the CIA and Mossad?

>>1361561
Did you know the british allowed the Sauds to take over the Sharifate of Mecca in order to prevent a united Arab Nation?

Also tried to use Israel as a proxy and kept it from growing too powerful out of fear that an United Jew-Arab semite nation controlled the middle east.

But its all jewish lies, amirite?

Anchor: welcome back it is 1:34 on June 16. This just in.....Israel has launched an attack on 000chan's /k province. This is truely proving to be on helluva war.

Epic thread is epic

>>1361665

>>1361701