Anchor: this message was sent out during the first hours of the invasion.
Israeli: We are Israel We are Rule, We are the Illuminati, Do not resist or we will crush you. Hailluminati bow down before the New World Order.

Anchor: as of yet, we do not know the fate of 4chan's dictator, m00t. Rumor has it that he is hiding in a bunker somewhere. Others speculate he was captured and raeped by the mossad or Israeli SpecOPS. Let's go live to Chuck Parks in /b for more.
(bzzzzzz) Chuck: I can't fucking hear you
Anchor: ah fuck it.

Anchor: Let's go to /new with our corespondent, Biz Markie.
Biz: Yo sup man (gunfire) ah shit, these crackaz is shooting shit man. I have never seen this many white folks shot before. Most of deez muthafuckaz is racist as fuck yo! JIDF be all up in dis bi-(gunshot)

Anchor: We come to you know with breaking news, apparently the Zionists have attempted a Delta-Force-Style takeover of the land of /g/, let's head straight to the copter view, live with our /g/ correspondant, Adrian Lamo.

Adrian: IT's........just.......unbelievable, Tim.
The zionists.....they.........they bought Steve Jobs.......they....they gave out Iphones......4gs..to....to everyone....................They even gave me one......Tim......I gotta go..

>implying any country is Zionist anymore

>>1347685
US EU and Canada r Jew entities

>>1347753
Why, because you fail at life, and blame a Jewish conspiracy that doesn't actually exist?

>>1347753
No wonder that they are the best countried in the world.

Canada FUCK YEA

Go back to your shitty caves you paki peice of shit.

>>1347763
>implying there isn't a conspiracy
AIPAC, laws against Holocaust denial, fudged Holocaust figures, Jews owning the media. Look I know that not all Zionists are Jews and vice versa but common man.

Gayest thread in history, you are all losers

>>1347671
Anchor: Let's read some comments. One anon said "I for one welcome our new Jewish Overlords"

>>1347794
>implying statistics

saging this...

>SOS
>>STONED, OR STUPID

I KNEW I remembered correctly that we use to call it /b instead of /b/ or /whatever instead of /whatever/

>>1347810
http://800pg.co.cc/geeklog//article.php?story=20100608010217937

>>1347832
>>1347805
bumping

>>1347844
no one cares

what is this i dont even

derp

Anchor: Let's speak now with a member of 4chan's millitary. For National Security purposes we are only identifying him as "Ovalawd" welcome
Ovalawd: greetings I am an officer at NIGRA HQ which is in an undisclosed location. I was on duty when this shit started
Anchor: Let's go to the 911 tapes shall we?

>>1348138
Nigra HQ: Charlie Papa, we're reading over 9000 bogeys in your sector please verify.
Niggertits AFB: Very funny Station. That's a big negative over.
Nigra HQ: Charlie Papa, be advised, running diagnostics to scan for malfunction.
Niggertits AFB: Skies are clear, Station. You've got yourself some phantom dots, over
Nigra HQ: Papa November 6. Signs in your sector of some 100 bogeys , please advise.
V&nderberg AFB: Negatory, Station. Scope is clear. I dunno what to tell ya. Solar interference? Heavy Sunspot activity today.
Nigra HQ: October Papa, , uh... we may have a minor ACS fault here. Do you have anything on your scope?

>>1348152
Wise Beard Man:They're everywhere!11111
Nigra HQ: October Papa, repeat!11111
Wise Beard Man: I'm looking at fighter jets over R-9000 how the hell did they get through?
Nigra HQ: Stand by!11 Attempting to contact the nearest nigger in that sector.
Samuel Jackson: I read you. This is Derp battalion, 75th Nigger regiment., Samuel Jackson, Acting commander of Trollface 2-1. Do you copy over?
Nigra HQ: all stations be advised- sattalite surveilance has been disabled at this time. LOIC arrays and harpoons are inactive at this time

>>1348168
Ovalawd (facepalms) I have know idea who or how fucked up and let this happen.

>>1348186
Anchor: let's take a quick look at 4chan and its millitary. 4chan's army has had a mixed history, moments of pride such as Habbo and not so prideful moments such as Operation Falcon Paunch. Recently 4chan was at war with anontalk which resulted in hackings and invasions of which 4chan came out on top. War with New Zealand was not as successful as Dictator Christ Beer detonated an EMP over /b, forcing everyone there to flood into /po.

bump

>>1348297
wut?

I see what ya did there

Modern Warfare 3: This time its Kosher

dumping Israeli pics for the lulz

People are screaming JIDF so much I'm starting to think there's some sort of misinformation campaign go on.
Nah, that's impossible. Only Jews would do that.

>>1348587
Nice nose job, lol.

Best Israel-trolling thread in /new/ history. Kudos.

>>1347502
IMmeｄIaｔｅｌｙ ＲｅmＯvE YOＵｒ iｌｌEGａL ｃLｏNｅ Ｏf ａT ＦRＯｍ YOuｒ SeＲＶＥR, ｍoＯ-ｃＯＷ, Ａnｄ rEｄiｒEＣT iＴ (ａＮd THe sTOＬen ＤOｍaＩN) tｏ ｗＷw.ａＮＯＮtAlＫ.ＳE. ａｌSo ｐｕＴ A ＴeXＴ ＡＤ ｏｎ 4ｃＨａＮ ｔO Ａｔ ＦＯr 12 ＭｏＮThs ｔo ＣOＭｐenＳAＴｅ fｏr tｈe lｏst TｒAffｉc TＨａt Yoｕ aｎＤ YoUＲ uＳErＳ hＡＶｅ CＡuSＥd wｉtｈ YＯｕr ｉＬLeGａＬ prａＣＴｉｃeS. ThｉS ＩS ｙＯｕｒ ＣHａNCｅ To seT tＨiｎgＳ Ｒｉｇhｔ. tａkｅ iT. iｆ the pEｒSｏｎ ｒＥAＤinＧ ｔhiS ｉs NＯT "ＭＯＯt", Ｅ-ｍAｉl HＩｍ ＡT MｏOｔ@4cHAN.Ｏｒｇ ａＮd PＵt ｓoｍｅ pｒEｓsｕRｅ ｏN ＨiＭ Ｉｆ ｙＯU ＨＡTE TｈeSＥ ｍｅｓＳAGES. ｔＨａnＫ YｏＵ ＦＯr ｌｉＳteｎinｇ. ybdvsctcslmf boy

Anchor: We have breaking news from /s where the IDF women's brigades have invaded. We go live to mesoginist playboy Charlie Sheen.
Sheen: hello as you can see behind me there are a number of Israeli Ladies just standing around for some strange reason. I don't know why there are just looking at me- well hello there
Israeli girl: Shalooom little goy toy
Charlie: Why the fuck do you have a strap on.
Israeli girl: (shouts in Hebrew, several Israeli girls arrive with M16s, Tar21s and strap ons)
Charlie: Oh Shi-(static)

>>1348623
Fuck you kimmo

Urgent message from /k/: We've been invaded. JIDF agents are everywhere, bribing people with free Deagles and Uzis and letting them try out TARs. And now they're bringing in the IDF girls. I think the guys here LIKE the strap-ons.
We're doomed, we're doomed...

>>1348707
But /k/ hates deagles!

Urgent message from /d/ - IDF supermodels have arrived here too. They all have strap-ons. We're in heaven. I hope they never leave...

>>1348734
>implying they need strap ons when they have jew noses

>>1347506
God I hope this becomes copypasta!

>>1348658
Anchor: FFFUUUUUUUUUUU-- wait we're on... shit. Alright As you can see on the crawl we are showing transmissions that are coming out of various chan posts. Let's go to 4chan's secretary of state Massimo D'Alema. What's up?
Reaction Guy: Dis is a fucked up thiinga to happen you know? Dis is a worse den Berlusconis stable ya know? Da Jews are shaking down the other chains. I don't know much but I can tell you that our allies at 7chan said Faggitaboutit!1111

>>1348750
mee too

Alpha team come in we are releasing the secret weapon, clear the area!

>>1348739
lolololololol

>>1348832

>>1348787
Anchor: Directing the invasion is Lt. General Gabi Ashkenazi (no srsly). We were unable to get an interview but we do have footage from a press conference in Tel Aviv
Reporter: I thought you were on PR, why return to directing combat?
Gabi: look faggots,I know I am an oldfag ok? The fact is 4chan has more faggotry per capita than anywhere else on the planet. That's we invaded. I headed this shit up for teh lulz. 'sides 4chan is full of niggers anyway.

>>1348930
Reporter 2: What about rumors that Israel has teamed up with Alm and anontalk.
Gabi: Bullshit!111 Kimmo's a faggot. The entire Chan continent will be ours. We will then sell 4chan to the church of Scientology at twice face value. All anons will be sold into sex slavery.

>>1348967
Anchor: that was gabi Ashkenazi earlier today, explaining Israel's motivations and plans for 4chan as well as the rest of the chans.

>>1348930
(Side note: Only Sepharadi Jews are named Ashkinazi, for some reason.)

>>1349007
Anchor: This Just in,...Hamas has made a video in response to the Israeli invasion.
(Hamas guy in front of flag) Translator: we stand in solidarity with 4chan. Despite previous tensions over things such as South Park, we must realize that if the Jewish Monster is not stopped.... we will all become Martyrs.

Sure is pakis in here

>>1349030
wat? sauce or ur JIDF!

>>1349076
sure is faggots in here

>>1349099
niggers

>go on 4chan
>see shitloads of Israeli propaganda
>my face

Shitjustgotreal.jpg

Its not da east or da west side
no its not
its not da north or da south side
no its not
its da JEW SIDE
U are correct

>>1347573
Oh shit its a conspir-

>>1349054
Anhor: and now for 4chan's weather with Phat Philly Jackson.
Phil: well the bzzzz clouds are still over /b and /k can expect artillery to come down from the heavens while /new can expect MOABS Tomahawks and the like. Good luck out there.

bumpbing for great justice

>>1349488
lrn 2 spell fag

>>1349284
>impying that reptilians and Jews are the same

Destroy all goys bwaahahahaha!!111111

>>1349601
see>>1349640

>>1349054
Hamas spokesman added: "But if we see any dickgirls we're outta here."

>>1349488
Anchor: Let's take a look at the life of the everyday channer since the war has started. Politically 4chan is unstable with its constant wars. in /b, a coup was staged a few months ago to put a deaf girl into power in that region. This was then overshadowed by the "200" controversy.

>>1349877
don't you mean traps?

dumpingt Israeli fighters, vehicles ect. for the lulz (inb4JIDF)

>>1349890

Is there a difference?

>>1349920

This thread is already lulzy, go flood one of the BS same thing every day threads.

>>1349920

>>1349933
needs moar desu11111

>>1349946
>>1349920
Nice free shit you got from the USA and Britain bro.

>>1350054
you now realize the Jews have taken /b with their bzzzzzzzzing (presumably thousands of Jew sneezes recorded together) and soon /new will fall.

You now realize Cote de Pablo is your /new queen

>>1350140

>>1350177
U MAD? Goyfag