| >> |
11/30/11(Wed)19:29 No.318727
File1322699378.jpg-(18 KB, 404x600, sprint.jpg)
 >>318692
The motherfucking Sprint ABM, BITCH!!!!
This
baby's basically a two-stage, 3.5-ton traffic cone. Only instead of
stopping traffic, this monster stops COMMUNIST NUCLEAR WARHEADS dead in
their tracks!!
HOW do you stop a fucking hypersonic freight-train loaded with TWENTY MEGATONS OF STALINIST HATRED from flattening your city?
Well
obviously, you need to get there first. Granted, you do have a pretty
big head-start, but given that a Communist ICBM warhead covers FOUR
MILES EVERY SECOND, this is not an easy race to win.
But not to
worry; the Sprint has over HALF A MILLION POUNDS-THRUST of raw American
muscle behind it! This massive first stage brings Sprint to supersonic
speeds BEFORE IT'S EVEN ALL THE WAY OUT OF ITS SILO.
But the fun
doesn't stop there. Just 1.2 seconds later, Sprint splits in half and
lights a SECOND STAGE, tearing a hot, glowing, prolapsed hole in the
atmosphere on its way up. It accelerates at OVER ONE HUNDRED TIMES THE
FORCE OF GRAVITY like a motherfucking Top-Fuel dragster on
crack+steroids+PCP, reaching velocities exceeding TEN TIMES THE SPEED OF
SOUND in just FIVE FUCKING SECONDS.
But that's not all. Upon
reaching it's target, at altitudes as high as ONE HUNDRED THOUSAND FEET,
it lights off a motherfucking 150-pound ENHANCED-RADIATION
THERMONUCLEAR WARHEAD and pulverizes the everloving shit out of those
commie warheads with a massive atom-splitting wave of high-energy
neutrons. |
