Kid A

>Watch out for racoons and Radiohead, this album sounds like Radiohead rooted around in the garbage bin outside Aphex Twin's recording studio, found some outtakes, and laid Thom Yorke's patented whine-drone over them.

Ziltoid the Omniscient

>Maybe the sort of thing that impresses pre-pubescent boys, this sub-Zappa vanity project is not a patch on Townsends previous efforts. The muppetesque dvd that accompanies it only compounds the insult that you've been mugged into wasting money on this tosh...disappointing doesn't even start to descibe it...
I MAD

>The Freewheelin' Bob Dylan
>13 Reviews
>All 5* ratings

whale oil beef hooked.

Rain Dogs

>Jockey full of CRAP! This "Tom Waits" guy sucks. What a horrible voice! He sounds like a piece of raw meat ran over by a truck. Listen to REAL music like Nickelback or St. Anger by Metallica if you want a truly enjoyable listening experience.

Hot Rats

>My neighbor used to play this album quite a bit, and it incessantly irritated me to no end. This was a time when it seemed to be fashionable or hip to be "into" Frank Zappa rather than because it was realistically good music-which it was not, in my opinion. Again, this was Frank Zappa bamboozling legions of fans into feeling that his extraneous music signified something strangely alluring was happening. Unfortunately, for me, his opus proved only to be what amounted to being a musical auditory illusion. He reminds me of another abysmally untalented "artist" named Andy Warhol, who had many of New York's gullible elite believing that there was something wonderfully artistic about a picture of a Campbell's Soup can. In fact, Frank Zappa should be remebered as the Andy Warhol of the music world.

Sailing the Seas of Cheese

>
Should be named "Cut the Cheese", because if the offense to my ears could be converted to odor that's what it would smell like to my nose. I'm not the biggest Primus fan, but I expected more than this drivel.

>my face when there are no 1 star reviews of "Between the Buried and me: Colors"

>>11677854
greentextfail

>lack of 1-star reviews for Remain in Light

>>11677856
>mfw Kazuma

>>11677856

Holy shit. Alaska and The Great Misdirect are also completely lacking in 1star reviews. Fuck yeah.

No one star reviews, but I found a two star.

Well, the fact that so much of the early 70s prog rock music sucks sure doesn't help.

Man, this is bad music. "Bad", like in overhyped, overplayed, overstated... everything is inflated about this album. And no, it is nowhere near classical music, no matter how many harpsichord and lute sounds you make. Thanks God (for Genesis as a group) Peter Gabriel and Steve Hackett eventually left the band -but you had to wait until Duke to really see the results

Larks' Tongues in Aspic

>The entire Crimson catalogue needs remastering, except for the 1st one. They lack compression: the loud parts and quiet parts are not balanced. Lark's is especially bad. Easy Money, the highlight of the lp, is just butchered. I bought it and sold it back for a buck. Basically, all I've heard from their early studio work is like that, although with various degrees of badness. Some are passable, others like Islands, another great masterwork, sounds awful. You have to turn up the volume at the quitet parts, and then a sudden loud part: oh my ears. This is a terrible problem for any CD, but Crimson is noted for their changes in volume. They really should scrap this run of CDs, they are unfit for sale. "Remastered" it says? I don't think so.

>>11677975

The Silent Circus has a single 1star review, but it was a level headed review. Guy went in expecting progressive metal, got metalcore.

The Self-Titled 'only' has 5 stars. That's awesome.

>>11677981
Moar Genesis. Lamb Lies Down.

>This cd is a perfect tomfoolery, please listen the bands that really belong to the greatest music: X JAPAN, KISS, LOUDNESS, AC-DC and GUNS ROSES. BYE

>>11677984
>Easy Money
>highlight of the lp
>worst track on the album

>>11678051
I lol'd wholeheartedly

Moving Pictures

>If you probably like this you are probably death. How can anyone stand geedy lee's voice is beyond me. There is better prog rock out there like king crimson

>>11678088
well i get his thing. Geddy Lee's voice is kinda annoying if you don't like high pitches

Slint-Spiderland

>if your idea of fun is an album of long, monotonous songs that all start with meandering strummed guitar that slowly (and I mean slowly)builds up to bludgeoning power chords only to die back down to irritating strumming again. And if you like a vocalist who alternately speaks and whispers in an off-key voice. This record is only about forty minutes long and it feels like two hours! This record is a summation of everything that is self-indulgent and boring about indie rock! The definitive statement! (The back of the CD case bears the warning that "This recording is meant to be listened to on vinyl." Hey, guys, lighten up!)

>this record is all myth, no songs. after having heard about it being "haunting" for so many years, I finally picked it up. I played it over and over again looking for what others see in this album. here's what I heard: the kind of "poetry" that high school juniors write after reading about Sylvia Plath in English. this is mumbled while strumming the simplest guitar possible. the fact that the guy offed himself figures in much of the music's praise. to me, that's irrelevant. there's just no strong songs here. it's been a week since I've heard it and I can't remember a thing about it. this is after dozens of listens. it's utterly forgettable.

DEVO - Q: Are We Not Men? A: We Are DEVO!

>This band totally bit their style and message from such Euro-synth groups as Human League, Thompson Twins and Visage.
>Get a grip, people, if not for those bands Devo wouldn't even exist.

>Go listen to the Spandau Ballet song "Coffee Club" and then listen to "Gut Feeling". Um, Spandau Ballet CALL YOUR LAWYER!!! Plaigirism!!!

LOL WUT

>>11678103
No, it gets better. Some of the responses.

>Rush blows away KC - KC only wishes they had the success of Rush. Please don't compare some obsucre band that has had 20 different "members" to Rush.

>I've never heard of "Geedy Lee" but I think Geddy Lee has one of the best voices in the progressive rock genre. And you are showing your ignorance by giving this album such a low rating.

>King Crimson has only one song I can stand. Better than Rush? Please. And _no one's_ lyrics are better than Neil's.

>>11678115
Don't see what's bad about this review. They could stand to lighten up about the vinyl thing.

>>11678129
well i agree with that.

>>11677616
I think you mean "positive" review, because that isn't good, it's terrible.

>>11678175
Well, yeah. That should go without saying.

This bandz sucs. They lak sufisicasion and they also lac alittle qualidy call genus. Ever heard of it queers? Might wanna get some before you check into the studioz where you compose this crap again? u know that they're not even really animals? They are humans, and poor ones at that. One of them even calls himself an animal by name. Do you know what I call him? A liar. A dirty human liar. If he were a real panda bear he wouldn't even be in America creating this crap. He would be eating bamboo, and falling asleep alot. I huff paint and eat glue, and ill tell you what, iv seen trippier designs in my sleep than on the cover of this heap. I love animals and when i heard about this band i got excited. but when i bought this album it scared me and i dont like being scared, so i sold to a local record store for $2, and i was surely happy again.
The end.
P.s. I am scared of nothing.

>...it is the reason the Grateful Dead are so well regarded nowadays and the Jefferson Airplane is a footnote in the history of the late '60s. The Jack Cassady excursion (on bass, no less) IS embarrassing. As a musician, I know exactly what Jack was doing and it is something anyone who has learned bass for a year or two (and done some experimentation) would do if they were really "getting into it" and going on some ego trip that is fascinating for the musician playing it and perhaps some simplistic (and non-musician) people hearing it, but it is a very basic jam that doesn't really make much musical sense, in terms of harmony or complexity. I bet Jack is embarrassed by this when he listens to it now. The Grateful Dead had a bass player who studied classical music with one of the greats of the 20th century (Luciano Berio) and KNEW what he was doing rhythmically and harmonically. The Dead played songs in odd time signatures (7/8, 11/8, and so on) and not only sounded competent, THEY FREAKIN' COOKED! Not so with the Jefferson Airplane. Too much experimenation and not enough knowledge. If you want to hear "psychedelic" music, try the Grateful Dead's "Anthem of the Sun" (very experimental, lots of jams), "Aoxomoxoa" (shorter songs, but still strange, even humorous at times), or their masterpiece of psychedelic experimentation and just plain absolutely beautiful and riveting music, "Live/Dead". THEN compare "Live/Dead" to "...Baxters'", no contest. Even Quicksilver Messenger Service's "Happy Trails" leaves this one in the dust. Pass unless you thought 1910 Fruitgum Company was a "really exciting" group (and they are compared to this CD!) I'm giving it 1 star to bring it down to its rightful place.

What a fucking retard.

>>11678190
Haha, yeah, never mind. I was confused by the star rating on Amazon.

>One positive note of this CD is the deep lyrics. Track 2 really got me going with the thoughtfull "Rar rar raraaa raaaaah" and I was thuroughly moved by the ending "Rah rah rahhhahaha" of the closing track. Really deep stuff.

>this band isn't good enough to lick the sweat from Kerry King's butt cheak. If you like Slayer, and you hate crap, then you won't like this cd either.

>Why don't I just record loud static and give it a new age poetic name such as When The Skies Begin To Bleed

>>11678209

>>11678238
that album really is horrible, though.

>Magnum

>>11678213
i can't understand how anyone could think meandering everyman jam music is better than jefferson airplane

>>11678129
makes me die a little inside every time it's posted

>>11678209
I agree.

>>11678259
I don't even dislike the Grateful Dead, but the basis for comparison is asinine.

>>11678250
>captain obvious

>This CD from the Australian 6 man group, The Avalanches, is very weak, repetitive and just plain boring. The whole thing is just awful and painful to the ears EXCEPT for 'Frontier Psychiatrist'. Frontier Psychiatrist is a very funny song and far the best song on the CD, never mind being the only one...

i think i just got trolled

ITAOTS

>
I work for a radio station. These guys were all the rage a few years ago, so I was sent out to a concert to get the inside scoop. I hated the show. The guy is talentless: he can neither sing nor play the guitar. The lyrics are strained and mock-absurdist. The guy is visibly aching for attention--"Don't you people think I'm weird?" When I interviewed them after the show I felt like pissing the whole time so I was extra-irritated by things I would normally overlook--i.e., the guy kept scratching his hair like some eccentric and I was on the verge of spitting in his face. So, lucky me: I was asked to review this album by the station. . . you can imagine the long harangue I launched against this godawful band. But nobody seems to mind me.

>My black-spectacled friends tell me "I'll See You When We're Both Not So Emo" is the standout track here, and five seconds in - just to the point where Mikael Kinsella wails "You're so / cold" as Charlotte Church's doppleganger afterbirth - I realize what might be the irony I've been searching for all along in this puzzling john-rah. American College Radio ate this album up, and I know I heard some frappucino DJs mention these song titles. I just can't remember hearing any of these tracks even moments after they're played. If Eamoe music is indeed culled from an abbreviated letter-jumble of "unmemorable," American Futbol would be its moment of clarity. There's hope - I hear trumpets, and the chugging-yet-undistinguished bassline of the aforementioned "I'll See U" might have led my chin-scratching hand to form a fist and wave ebulliently through the air. Instead, I thrust it deep into my pocket and asked a neighbor if Post From Vermont or Sorry About Dresden or The Julia Record had gone on yet.

whatthefuckamireading.pdf

>>11678307
WHAT. THE. FUCK.

>>11678308
>Eamoe
>American Futboll
>I'll See U

>Without wasting too much breath... this album has nothing original or inspiring to offer.. Remember in that movie 'Deliverance' when the hillbilly says "squeal like a pig"?? I think the vocals of Neutral Milk Hotel (whatever that is supposed to mean/aside from random word association) SQUEAL. Seriously.

2deep4u.img
all the itaots reviews are priceless

I was told to check out Pitchfork for all my indie purchases. I bought this CD and Interpol's Turn On The Bright Lights based on their praise, and I consider both albums to be complete disasters (although, Interpol is, admittedly, less of a disaster than Arcade Fire).

Instead of sounding innovative, Arcade Fire has actually produced a CD that is quite pedestrian. I actually felt sorry for them during most of this album because it was obvious that they were just trying too hard to be emotive, and it all seemed kind of pathetic to me.

While listening to this album I had the uneasy feeling that they would suddenly say something like "look what I can do," followed by a bombardment of screeches and off-key bellows.

To their credit, I will say that some of their songs (like Neighborhood #1) began excellently, but escalated to a climax that was so painful, it was everything I could do not to press the skip button.

In short, Arcade Fire is simply over-hyped. After these latest Pitchfork debacles, I've decided that I'm better off on my own, and I suggest the same to you.

I listened to this CD on a recommendation and that experience reminds me of why I almost never buy CD's because of another person's glowing praise. It's not mistake that this CD is called "Dummy" as it is vacuous and hollow. Only the truly prententious and shallow could listen to this overly melodramatic prattle. The lead singer's voice sounds like she's gargling listerine. Perhaps Portishead is purposely playing to the "deep" set's supposed senstivity and this CD is just a mockery of that genre; or maybe Portishead is trying to contend for the muzak title of the universe. In any case this droning snooze of a CD is one to avoid.

Swans - Soundtracks for the Blind

>I am a little stunned remembering the lyrical reviews that prompted me to buy this!

It is incredible drivel! Noisy, incoherent, self-indulgent incredible drivel. It might have some value for scaring raccoons and other vermin out of one's attic, but I have a vermin-free attic, so this racket is of no use to me.I hope the people who made it at least did so with a cynical reliance on the power of hype and human folly, which sells an awful lot of stuff these days. If they took themselves seriously, somehow, that makes it worse.

2deep4u

>This album is garbage. It sounds like a group of high school kids getting together after school and "jamming." I'm not trying to attack these guys personally, but they just sound like they need work, plain and simple. Save your money.

>mfw

The only thing that can explain why Brian Wilson's Smile has garnered as much favorable press and hype is how bad the music industry has gotten and how we consumers long for period of musical creativity that was the late 60's. Unfortunately, had this album been released then it would have been relegated to the bargain bin pretty quickly and long forgotten by now. This is not a good album, period. It's a mediocre album that Wilson wisely shelved in the 60's. Putting it out now smacks of crass commercialism.

Vocally, Wilson has lost quite a bit from his Beach Boys days and musically this album sounds like a bad Broadway musical. I can actually imagine the actors running around on stage while listening to it. I suppose if you are a Beach Boys fanatic or Broadway musical fan this might be a good buy, but otherwise avoid it.

>>11678307
>>11678307
>>11678307
>>11678307
>>11678307
>>11678307
>>11678307
>>11678307
>>11678307
>>11678307
>>11678307
>>11678307
>>11678307
lmfao please be troll

>my face when all of my favorite albums are 2indie4amazon

>>11678397
this review is pretty true though

>my face when all of my favorite albums are 2indie4amazon

>>11678415
>implying Broadway musicals are bad

I've read that one too.

"How this band got any acclaim is beyond me, maybe it was all the drugs where people like today were to stupid/stoned to actually hear the garbage being played to them. This is terrible."

What the hell, guy?

Homework devestates this album. Why is daft punk singing and about love none the less? Its total TRL pop crap. The songs that are instrumental just don't have the same rythmic driving beats homework had. They almost remind me of cheesy video game music. Save your money...i wish i did.

(this review was written in 2001)

Every once in a while an album comes along that dares to reinvent the artform, that makes the listener a joyful co-conspirator in a revolution of delightful musicianship and brilliant lyricism.

This is NOT that album. Nor is this album in any way similar to that album. If THAT album were struck by lightning, it would be an hour before THIS album heard the thunder. In a word, this album is scat.

Relayer is one of 3 Yes albums that proves markedly more listenable when played backwards than forwards.

Ardent fans of "Dungeons & Dragons" might find novel ways to incorporate the cover artwork into their sad, personality displacing gaming sessions, and in that manner this album may actual serve a purpose.

Part 1.

>>11678476


Beyond that tiny demographic, this album serves only to prove that drugs are very, very bad. And when musicians take them in excess, and their fans do as well, an awful symbiosis can occur.

Now, you might be reading this wondering, "Who the heck is this guy? Why should I listen to him when others seem to like it?" Good question. That you might ask it shows that you are a reasonable person. Now, if you are a reasonable person, tell me what you think of this brief lyrical passage from the accidentally prophetic "The Gates of Delirium":
"Choose and renounce throwing
chains to the floor
Kill or be killing faster sins
correct the flow
Casting giant shadows off vast
Penetrating force
To alter via the war that seen
As frictions spans the
spirits' wrath ascending to redeem"

If this brief excerpt has you recoiling from the blunt force of such obtuse nonsense, then you really aren't psychologically prepared to handle the actual processing of HEARING it sung, and hearing the equally obtuse musicianship that propels this drivel from Yes' arse to your ears.

Believe me, you'd rather here 45 minutes of someone scraping their teeth across a chalkboard.

When Jon Anderson sings, in the lyrics of "To Be Over", 'After all your soul will still surrender... Be ready to be loved." He can only mean it in a new-prison-cellmate sorta way.

File under: So bad, you'll want to travel back in time and keep your parents from meeting each other.

I dare you to buy it.

Part 2 of 2.

> 1.0 out of 5 stars Kenny G Greatest Hits is much better, February 10, 2000
>By A Customer
>This review is from: Kind of Blue (Audio CD)
>Kind Of Blue is adequate at best. It has no feel, no mood and no form. I do not see what the hype is. Its pretty basic. When I want to hear real jazz, I will just play my Kenny G's Greatest Hits. Know there is a sax player.

he trollin'

>Some people call it "shoegazing," "melancholy," "crushingly beautiful." riiight.
I think a more suitable description is "lo-fi, echo-laden, downtuned emo crap."

-Justin, you can't sing no matter how much echo you add to your voice and you can downtune your guitar all you want to sound "heavy," and try and hide from the fact that you've gone from an industrial/metal icon to a poppy emo crap saleman.

I bought this album about last year. I'd been told for years that this album was a masterpiece and so on. When I heard it I kind of liked the opening song, except for the disrespectful remark about the beatles. But when I heard the rest, I had never been so dissapointed in my life. This is crap music for stupid new wave fans.

>>11678213
Should I feel bad that I like all of the bands he mentioned, including what he was writing the review for?

>>11678510
>except for the disrespectful remark about the beatles
>for new wave fans

Obvious troll, but still.

>>11678490
> February 10, 2000
NOT EVEN TROLLING

>>11678510

>This is to piss off the haters and enlighten the curious people: I often refer to this album as the pan-ultimate MERZBOW album. It servers as a great entry point for anyone curious about the noise /avant-garde music. It you can handle and appreciate this release, you are in the glorious realm of Merzbow. There is only one artist that matches or even exceeds the harshness and intenstity of Merzbow, and that is WHITEHOUSE, which was a direct influence on Merzbow and continues to make the most extreme music ever recorded. Of course, listen first before you buy! To all the haters, go back to day care, have your dipers changed! There should be no surprise here. When something is catergorized as noise or avant-garde it means exactly that.

i just don't know what to make of it anymore

>CTTS was pretty terrible live. You would think because of their raw format and intense songs they would be good, but no, they were boring and dry. The vocals were bad, and so was the sound mixing in the venue, but the instruments were all dead on, but still, no intensity.

i guess he meant to put this album in his CD player, but accidentally went to a show instead and didn't realize it.

I suppose most people would say that I just don't get it. I'd have to agree with that. I really don't have any sort of clue as to why people love this album so much. The one saving grace of this project may have been it's originality, but just because something is unique doesn't make that thing good. In the case of Loveless, I think that the reason it is so unique is not because Kevin Shields has some kind of devine musical insight that other artists lack, but rather that other artists have had the good sense to avoid using the same kinds of songwriting strategies and production techniques. Those that HAVE been influenced by My Bloody Valentine seem to use the techniques a little more tastefully.

Music really just comes down to a matter of taste. Specifically your taste in musical styles and more importantly in the case of loveless, your taste in the aesthetics of the sound.

Musically, I think that Loveless is tolerable, but certainly not good. I find absolutely no emotion communicated with this music-- it seems pointless and uninspired to me. The biggest issue with the music (as with much popular music that uses distorted guitars) is that one of the key elements of music is all but ignored: dynamics. There is only one dynamic in Loveless: painfully loud. From start to finish, this doesn't waver much. It's just a matter of personal taste, but typically I can't stand songs with such rigid dynamics.

On the list of the most annoying bands in the history of rock and roll, R.E.M. comes in at number three along with U2, the Cure, the Smiths/Morrissey, and Rage Against The Machine. It was unfortunate to see America produce such a terrible band.
People talk about R.E.M. having under ground punk roots, but that sound is simply not there. Just because they started out on an independent label doesn't mean they're punk. It would be more accurate to call them the offspring of new wave, which was seen as a perversion of punk and one of the reasons (along with arena rock) why hardcore punk sprang up in America.
The worst part of R.E.M. has been Michael Stipe's mumbling, whining voice. On "Automatic For The People" his wretched whining reached an all-time high. "Everybody Hurts" has no redeeming qualities whatsoever.
The rest of the album is also an energy draining experience, sure to induce catatonia. Not only does Stipe's voice convey absolute weakness, but the folksy music also wipes out any sign of hope.
America has a steady growth of self-proclaimed victims. The last thing any artist needs to do is validate those attitudes. Nobody needs this type of music, especially generation x. They're better off turning their sadness into anger.

>Big D and the Kids Table - How It Goes

2 out of 5 (lowest I could get)

A friend of mine inrtroduced me to this band with the claim they were the greatest of all time, with this being their best. Well, this might be their best, but it sucks none the less. The first song comes right at you, rocking, heavy, an excellent song. Lyrically its moronic, but then again, it fits with the mood of the other songs. The, the album goes down hill. From that first great track (2 if you count the intro) the next however many songs just plain suck. It doesnt break any new ground soundwise, only bores you. Ok, it has horns, its ska. Ska was great in 6th grade. After that, all you fans of ska, you have a duty to realize how utterly boring and stupid ska-punk is. Groups that don't evolve die. Genres that don't evolve die (Punk anyone?) So yes, no matter how fast they play the music, this is ordinary, and boring ska fit for no one outside of die hard ska fans. And they suck anyways.

>>11678575
Sonically, I find Loveless to be the most gut-wrenching horrific unatractive pile of terrible sounds that I have ever experieneced. It is not just that I don't prefer this type of sound-- I actually do appreciate the use of noise and feedback in some cases-- but the constant onslaught of piercing noise on Loveless is actually physically painful to me. I can not physically stand to listen to this album. One song in particular, Blown A Wish, contains a particularly piercing almost inaudibly high frequency tone throughout. I'm not the only person that has expereinced this with that song in particular. That leads me to my central problem with Loveless. I'm not convinced that Kevin Shields spent all the time and money on this album to "perfect his artistic vision." I think that much of the production on this album was very accidental and unintentional (like the piercing sound in Blown a Wish). I much more envision Kevin Shields experimenting with layering much more haphazardly rather than by some kind of methodical plan to achieve a desired sound. I could be wrong, and it's entirely possible that Loveless turned out exactly the way Shields wanted it to from the beginning. I just don't think that's the case.

>>11678560
>my face when my face

>>11678517
No, you should feel like a cool and awesome dude.

>>11678597
What's very important to me is that sound (texture) and music work together in their artistic goal. For me, the very extreme (and unpleasant for most) sounds of Loveless fail to communicate any emotion at all in conjunction with what I feel is very apathetic music-- especially due to the constant dynamics of the music and the repetitive structure of the songs. The vocals are almost sigh-like and very low in the mix-- almost as to say "nothing I'm saying is important".

If you really love this album: so be it. I respect your taste. Personally, I found it to be appalling. No other album has aroused in me such a desire to turn it off. After repeated listening-- trying to give this album a chance-- I would be perfectly content to never hear it again.

The one question that the uninitiated should ask themselves before buying this CD is how well can you tolerate noise. I don't just mean the noise of kids playing at the park or of car engines in traffic. I mean noises like radio and television static-- piercing arrays of many many frequencies. This album doesn't use noise as an instrument (like an industrial or electronica artist... or a NES game cartridge) -- rather, the noise is the canvas on which the music is applied. Make no mistake-- this album contains constant piercing noise. If you can't handle that, I'd definately reccomend HEARING this album before you buy it.
>imokaywiththis

In the Aeroplane Over the Sea (Audio CD)
What's going on here? I must have missed something in a big way. I read the reviews, saw the comparisons to Sparklehorse (one of my favourite bands), heard it was the greatest 'lo-fi' (isn't everything these days..) loveliness in ages, so I bought it and...it was really bad! What am I missing! The songs don't hang together, the instrumentation is stark and unfriendly, the guy's voice is NOT great at all..I can get into most stuff after a while but this really troubled my ears. Anyway, I got my money back..

>I can only say what i think from a personal point of view, but this album is such a let down! It never kicks off, its like the whole album (and its a pretty long album at that) never gets off the ground. It threatens too at numerous points, but the third track is about 9 minutes long, if i remember rightly, and its the same, slow pace, no depth to the song, very depressing, all the way through. Im guessing this is what their trying to do because everyone seems to love them, but i love isis, cult of luna and pelican, and these guys are just not in the same sort of league. When CoL play, you can feel the bass, and hear the power in those drums...the drummer in jesu constanly taps his symbols for an hour!

>>11678592
fuck that guy man
fuck him

its a 5 star rating and hes completely serious.
>I've never been a Nickelback fan and don't love Kroeger's voice, yet I think this is one of the best rock albums of the past few years. Hiring the legendary Mutt Lange was a coup - sonically, it's amazingly lush, powerful & crisp. The sound is unbelievable.

Instead of weakening the band with too much of the overproduced Shania-thing, Mutt balances his strengths with the band's identity quite nicely. He also pushed the songwriting forward, and there are melodic hooks galore. And for once, Nickelback are playing actual guitar solos...not pointless wanking solos, but highly melodic and charged solos (as in the rocker Just To Get High). This disc expands Nickelback's appeal beyond the alt-rock & moody post-grunge thing to rock fans across the board. There's something for everyone. Songs like "If Today Was Your Last Day" or "This Afternoon" are instantly catchy in the way Def Leppard was with Hysteria (just updated), while rockers will find much to like in the opener "Something in Your Mouth", the aforementioned "Just to Get High" and stomper "Burn it to the Ground", among others. This album is tailor-made for world domination and will be massive. Yes, the lyrics are at times sexist and silly...but that's part & parcel of the hard rock game and Nickelback is no exception. It's brash, blunt, and sometimes cliched, but you can't argue with the great rock music. I didn't think Nickelback had it in them, and thought Mutt was past his expiration date when it came to rock, but they proved me wrong.

This album is so bad, it's almost worth owning. Track after plodding track astonishes. When I listen to this album, I feel intensely sorry for the other members of The Doors. An obviously inebriated Jimbo sounds like he couldn't decide whether to throw up or to go to sleep, so instead he went to the studio and cut some tracks. His vocals are shockingly shot and painfully off-key. He actually SOUNDS fat! Seriously...check it out! To make matters worse, at least half of the tunes sound like Morrison made up the abysmal lyrics as he went along. There are a couple tunes where apparently the other Doors managed to get their fearless leader semi-sobered up or at least convinced him to come up with some still-lame lyrics in advance (Riders on the Storm being the best of these), but they are the exception. Mostly the tunes are lazy, generic blues variations that a below-average bar band would be ashamed to call their own. And Morrison turns in the least convincing "blues" vocals this side of Eric Clapton's From The Cradle (yikes!)! This is bad, bad stuff. That said, it's pretty damn funny if you have a perverse enough sense of humor, and it's a great party album if your friends have a similar sense of humor. I guess nothing's all bad.

It seems that the faithful are determined, despite the evidence of their own ears, to believe that the Beatles went out at the peak of their powers. This aspect of the Beatles' myth is responsible for "Abbey Road" being the most overrated album in the Beatles' catalog. Songs like "Octopus's Garden" and "Maxwell's Silver Hammer" are beneath the attention of an adult intellect; the latter is a perfect example of what Lennon derisively called McCartney's "granny songs". And the highly touted medley is, as Lennon pointed out, just a bunch of abandoned, half-baked ideas strung together. Of the albums actually recorded as albums (i.e., setting aside "Yellow Submarine" and "Magical Mystery Tour"), this is the Beatles' poorest effort -- the work of people who were becoming more interested in solo projects and who would soon call it quits as a group.

>>11678575
>>11678597
>>11678602

AHAHAHA I always felt the same way about Loveless.

As an electronic musician, audiophile, and as a fan of all types of music, I can say without a doubt that this is one of the worst CD's I have ever had the displeasure to purchase. My interests in music range from The Orb/Tangerine Dream to Sex Pistols/Fear to Kid Rock/Residents to Portishead/King Crimson to Stravinski/Zappa...in other words, I like almost everything. There is absolutely nothing redeeming about this recording. As for this CD being complex (as a previous review states), I couldn't disagree more. The loops used in this recording are primative, uncreative, and are tonally bad. Half of the CD sounds to me as if it were recorded from an early $69.00 Casio keyboard. The drum machine programming is inane, very monotinous, and has the overall timbre of an angry goose in a tin box. As for this recording being "ambient", sure it is...in the same way that a neighbor mowing his lawn while you try to take a nap is "ambient". I think if anything good can be said about this mess, it is quite possible that this CD has invented a new genre of music..."Annoying Ambient". I would give you mine if I hadn't already traded it.

ok, i know there are many people out there who worship this guy and i have to say that all of his other stuff is amazing. he can shred and that's what i dig. but, i heard about this record and thought, "hey something new." i owned the cd and placed it in my player expecting mind-blowing speed from the man raised by chickens, but instead i promptly fell asleep. after forced listening, i found myself wondering why someone with so much talent would be reduced to nothing but an endless barage of loops and delays. well, it shouldn't be surprising anymore. just look what happened to robert fripp.

12 YEAR OLD DETECTED

>If you want to get an idea of what this album generally sounds like imagine a teenager on a bus with an i-pod turned up so loud that you can hear it. The ambient music is distorting. Unaware that other people can hear him, this teenager sings, or should I say moans, along with the music. This is actually what this album sounds like.

One of my colleagues mentioned that the singing reminded him of his cat.

Caterwauling, is generally the word we would use for such unmusical noises.

Be warned! If you love music and expressive, interesting, purposeful, daring, competent, intellectual, colourful, exciting and engaging music, look elsewhere!

Yes, extremely irritating.

MFW all reviews for Blackwater Park are 4 or 5 star

Amazing cd.
i got bored with indie, emo, punk, hip hop, nu metal, grime, grindie etc....
in a record shop one day and they played this....i was like:
"wow! what the hell is that blend..."

its like if justin timberlake met slipnott and justin & slipnott then did a hip hop r'n'b album with both on vocals.

i dont know how else to rate this.
its like nothing else on earth.

weird, cool, funky, grimey, raw but polished.
way to go boys.

>>11678858
seems like astroturfing to me

>>11678858

>This cd does not have music on it. Basically, what this band did was take every horrible emotion/feeling and give a sound to it. What i will do for you is tell you how to make your own "Black One" album!

1) find a very old factory near your house that is in operation
2) wait until about 1-2a.m.
3) break into the factory with your tape recorder and NO flashlight.
4) go into the lowest level and find the boiler room
5) record the creepy noises you'll find in there and every so often growl into the mic and say things about torture, despare, souls, death, ect.

nice job you have a new cd! now just staple together no less than 6 sheets of black construction paper and you have yourself the cd booklet for the Black One. Have fun with your new cd.. just remember, some people actually like this stuff.
2deep4him

>This is the worst form of sh@t noise I have ever heard. These guys try to look hard with guns. These guys need to go to Iraq and then lets see how tough they are!

Greg Dulli's 1993 magnum opus to date rape belongs in every frat boys iPod and pinned on every women's shelter's most wanted board. Porky misogynist Dulli, who is almost certainly a registered sex offender, offers up eleven tracks of barely coded references to throat rape, vaginal whipping, child molestation, and anal torture with himself as the dominant perpetrator in all but one track. On "My Curse," he has one of his stockholm syndrome suffering girltoys sing a song about the unherald powers of his cock.

I guess Mel Gibson could really get into this. Not me though.

>>11678930
>I guess Mel Gibson could really get into this. Not me though.

>>11678897
>what this band did was take every horrible emotion/feeling and give a sound to it
This guy is crazy. This is the exact reason why I like Sunn O))).

I'm so sick of ex-cons and ex-drug dealers and crackheads getting recording contracts. This is only more proof of the sleazy state of the music industry today. I wouldn't give you one cent for this cd. I can't stand this guy's droning voice. That "In Da Club" song has been played to death by pop radio stations and on every booming car stereo driven by 16-25 year old males who think the song is cool. Anyone who thinks 50 Cent is cool needs to seek therapy at once. Why are we worshipping and idolizing lowlife thugs who should never have been released from prison where they belong?? Oh, and that's really intellegent to bring your own son to your concert and endanger his life by putting him up on the stage in a bullet-proof vest. Really smart there! In ten years when they start releasing compilation cds of rap songs from the early 2000s, they'll put a song by 50 Cent on it, and people will be saying, "Oh yeah, 50 Cent. Remember when everyone thought he was so great?"In two years from now he'll be all but forgotten while the next rap star of the moment will come along to replace him. 50 Cent is only popular now because of MTV, pop radio, and marketing. I'd rather listen to Celine Dion...and i HATE, HATE, HATE her music. That's how badly i dislike 50 Cent. Anyone who would spend money on a 50 Cent cd is stupid.

>First of all, this soundtrack is awesome, and there are no bad tracks on the CD. I especially love the punky sounds of Kimya Dawson from the Moldy Peaches, but there is more to this album than just her. It expresses a combination of alternative, punk, rock, rockabilly, and even some pop rock. I also love the older rock and pop rock bands like Velvet Underground, Sonic Youth, Buddy Holly, and Mott the Hoople.

>My husband and I watched the movie and half way through I knew I was going to have to the soundtrack. There is another soundtrack for this film, and it has even more tracks. I don't know if it's better though, as I really do like this one. I used the original Moldy Peaches song Anyone Else but You sung by Ellen Page, and Micheal Cera my ringtone when my hubby calls. The ringtone makes me smile every time he calls.

>It has become one of my favorite albums, and I haven't tired of listening to it yet.

>Thanks for your time, and enjoy!

>>11679076
he mad.

>siamesedream.jpg

>This so-called "music" is nothing but noise that sounds like you've travelled halfway to hell. It is like spending your entire summer having root canal on the same tooth. Horrid. Billy Pumpkin is so full of himself it is sickening.

>>11679138
I kind of daaawww'd actually

>>11679146
in weird way, that actually sounds like a good review, except for the billy pumpkin part

Even giving this one star is being too generous. I had the full catalogue of Miley/Hannah CDs until I got this one, played it once, then LITERALLY threw it in the trash. I love all the rest of her stuff from the first Hannah CD up through the movie soundtrack and "Party in the USA." It was all fantastic. Great songs, performed well. What more could you ask for?

So, what's the problem with "Can't Be Tamed"? The problem is all these under 30 year old female artists vying with each other to SOUND THE SAME. The world does not need another thump-thump-thump Euro-trash song -- much less a full CD of such -- which is what Miley has delivered with "Can't Be Tamed." Her best option would have been to do a TRUE rock album. Something NOT over-produced with all the studio tricks used to the max, but something that sounded REAL and from the heart. Music that will sound good 20 years from now. Her second best option would have been to do the predictable (given her genetics) and cut a country album. But, that would've been a bit risky as country has rarely gone over well with her core demographic, under 20 year old girls.

So, what she's done is made an album that aims to play it safe from a sales point of view. Make a CD that sounds like every other CD out there today. Pack it with mindless dance tunes because that's what the kiddies go for. The end result may be awesome sales at the expense of a shorter career -- and one known for diminished artistic integrity after such a promising start.

In the 80s, a young star named Debbie Gibson burst out of the gate with 2 hugely successful albums that featured some tasty and clever pop-rock. With her third album, "Anything Is Possible", she went the R&B dance music route and committed artistic suicide in the process. She never had another hit. Miley would do well to learn by the Debbie Gibson example.

>>11678562

>pan-ultimate

well that's a new one

Couldn't find a 1 star review for Stained Class the last time I looked.

>my cousin's best friend owns this cd. the album cover is gay and stupid in my upinion. i heard the album once and the songs are boring as hell. the lead singer is gay and he sings like a girl. in a couple of songs he does these really fruity sounding, stupid screams that i can't stand. the guitars on this album suck worse then hell, they don't seem to do anything and are very boring to me. this is the type of album you'd listen to if you want something to laugh at, and laugh at because it sucks soo bad and it's gay as hell.

>>11679284

>>11679284
Well I did find one, but it was about the reissue, not the actual album.

>>11679284
>my face when 13 year old kids use gay in every sentence.

>>11679284

He's correct though, I don't know why you'd post it.

>>11679315

It's funny because Husker Du is gay.

>>11679326
>going to rage
>look a trip
>i'm laughing my ass off

>>11678668
Whoever wrote this doesn't actually know shit about The Doors or their history and decided that they would write a review based on the very little knowledge they have of The Doors (Jim got fat and drunk) and hoped it would make them sound intelligent.

>>11679284
> So gay, not br00tal enough

>>11679337
>my face when Greg Norton isn't.

> This review is from: I Can Hear the Heart Beating As One (Audio CD)
Yo La Tengo is one of the most overrated, underachieving bands in the increasingly lost morass of "indie rock." For years now they have gotten by somehow, making music that is primarily a lame pastiche of their rock-critic influences, and out of all those albums they've produced only one that's honestly worth listening to.

This isn't it. This is more of the same drony, Neu-meets-the-Velvets-on-Nyquil junk that they've been anesthetizing people with for years, with not a single interesting thing about it. The tunes stay within a five-note range, the lyrics are entirely colorless and forgettable, the instrumentation is the same old buzz/twang/drone they've been using for years. The songs blur into one another, and it's impossible to tell them apart, not only from each other, but from the songs on their previous albums. Calling this CD "monochromatic" might be too interesting a word to use for something this boring and numbing.

Why do people continue to assert that YLT is a "great band"? Beats me. There's no proof of it here.

Incidentally, for those curious, the one great record that YLT has done is "Fakebook," and they didn't write any of the songs on that one. There is a lesson in that.


brb, raging

>What ... is this? It's like Spinal tap turned into a reality! I don't like any of Judas priest's music, but this is just plain [bad]. This album contains almost every Metal cliche you can possibly think of. Listen to this if you want to know WHY the market for traditional Metal dried up by the end of 1991. The only saving grace is Halford's voice.
Oh, and I have something to say to all the metalheads out there: Wearing Judas priest tee shirts, obnoxiously shouting "Up the irons!" every five minutes, and mindlessly bashing Death metal and Black metal all the time does not make you "real" or "true". It just makes you a tool. Later.

>>11679284
>my face when using gay as an insult

>>11679284
He also gave a 1 star review for RTL as well.

>>11679382
He's a professional chef though. They call Greg "the mustache" and his wife "the beard."

>>11679345

Only kids and "metal is my life" faggots would ever say that album, or Judas Priest as a whole, is anything but "gay".

>>11679427
if posting as anon, you could be a great troll

>>11679427
If it weren't for the fact that Halford was actually in fact a homosexual, they'd be one of the most heterosexual bands ever, and in fact have way more balls then anyone on this board can imagine having.

>>11679427
Only in the subtext, not overtly. Except for all the leather. And "Breaking the Law" is about being gay and breaking sodomy laws.

>>11679456
>>11679455

Gay, in this context, is for anyone not retarded obviously not implying homosexuality.

>>11679436
judas priest shows were held mostly for the purpose of getting rob halford some ass

because he is literally gay

do you get it now

>>11679476
>my face when halford is actually bi-sexual

>>11679476
>musicians
>want to get laid

No shit?

>This band proves that sloppy musicianship, piss-poor lyrics that try to desperately grab a hold of other fans' allegiances by throwing in a boatload of explicit references to far better songs, and a hackneyed style can be completely overcome by three things: a massive hype machine, making NME your Uncle Tom, and brainwashing 14 year old cream-belt wristband wearing scenesters into incessently pressuring others into liking the band by making it a product more than music. There is absolutely nothing new in this album. It isn't fun, unique, or catchy. It's sloppy, boring, restlessly self-indulgent garbage with absolutely terrible lyrics about even more terrible topics. I hope that the masses mark that this review isn't helpful, because it only proves my point: they like garbage. I'll be glad when their second album tanks. They have The Vines written all over them.

>>11679532
the arctic monkeys are awful, bro

>>11679566
That's just like...your opinion man.

>>11679566
THIS.
A MILLION TIME THIS.

>>11679491
Uhh no he's really gay

>>11679588
he had sexual relations with both male and female

>>11679532
>Alex
>Posts Arctic Monkeys album review

Alex Turner, why are you on /mu/?

>>11679602
That's just like my real name dude.

>>11679616

I don't believe you, Mr. Turner. Maybe your fourth album should be more like your second.

>>11679627
But my third album was the best one :(

>This album does not sound like Mastodon. The only thing that sounds like Mastodon is the second track.(which i thoroughly enjoy)Think Remission era. Anywho....this record blows not what I had expected. I havent heard their previous album but I am willing to give it a shot. Oh and these guys are touring with Metallica? WTF mate.

>All I can say is that I am glad I do not live in America if they play a band like Led Zeplin all the time on the raidio.

>but i still give it only 1 star because the song 'house of the holy' is on this cd rather than on the cd called 'house of the holy' which just proves that led zeplin is stoners ...

>I bought this CD because I love Kashmir and it's Zepp's greatest
songs. You must repeat it. Other than that, I think this CDs
always junk because Led Zepp has always been one of the worst.
I am glad they aint around anymore because the vocalist is loud
and screams. Houses of the Holy track is one of the worst.\
Why are they so overated? They get too much radio played.
Buy Dire Straits and Guns N' Roses insted.

>Led Zeppelin are a disgrace to the rock world

>>11679819
that cannot be real
I refuse to believe someone could write a review that awful

>>11679819
>Kashmir
>good

>>11679819
>Buy Dire Straits and Guns N' Roses insted.

>>11679870
>Kashmir
>Bad

>>11679819

>>11679910
Really, now?
Take Stairway to Heaven, which isn't too interesting until the solo, and remove said interesting part, but stretch the uninteresting part to be long than the original length.
Then make the lyrics much, much worse (and Stairway's weren't exactly brilliant to begin with).
And, finally, make the vocals annoying and flat.
Now, you have Kashmir.

>All you little sad trend hopping morons call this music? This is noise pure and simple. I repeat this is not music. There is no deep musical complexity to this. There is no poetic meaning. This is filth and proves complete trash can be marketed to mindless drones who love nothing better to accept utter garbage as an art form. Why don't I just record loud static and give it a new age poetic name such as When The Skies Begin To Bleed. You'd probably buy it wouldn't you. Pathetic imbeciles. I hope your little hardcore scene dies an early death. It is molesting music by encouraging noise as an art form when it is just as listed: noise.

>Jane Doe
>No poetic meaning
>lol

WHY IS EVERY REVIEW FOR THIS ALBUM LIKE 2 PAGES LONG....I'LL MAKE IT EASY FOR YOU WHO ARE THINKING OF GETTING THIS ALBUM BUT DON'T FEEL LIKE READING THE ESSAYS PEOPLE WRITE ABOUT THE REVIEW. IT SUX....PLAIN AND SIMPLE...IF YOU ARE WHITE AND LIKE THIS MUSIC THAN BY ALL MEANS SUPPORT IT. IF NOT DON'T WASTE YOUR TIME

>>11679984

>>11679984
maybe you should consider making a career of doing 1 star reviews on amazon

>>11680027

Any album with bonus tracks

>OMG I can't enjoy this album any more because there are more songs after the original songs!
Pretty annoying.

>>11680043

>>11679819

>Led Zeppelin is stoners
>Is stoners

>no one stars

>this album is pretty bad. i think the strokes succeed on marketing more on their actual music, which, even ignoring the bands they blatantly rip off, is pretty lame and repetitive. the singer uses the same distorted effect on his voice in every song, which doesn't help at all. just a bunch of rich spoiled kids with no talent. it's actually painful to hear this getting so popular

Typical strokes hater that doesn't know what they're talking about

>overrated overhyped overhere
By A Customer
This review is from: The Velvet Underground and Nico (Audio CD)
A good example of an album which is overrated to a degree that is surreal. One suspects that this has little to do with the music, and more to do with the mind set of the overrater on first hearing it.Badly sung, poorly played, mediocre, and in comparison to many albums released the same year, VERY conventional in musical terms.Of course the Velvet Heads will never agree, they lost their critical capacity some time ago.

>>11679388
he so mad

SDRE - Diary

>Not a very good album. Go get Metallica's albums instead!
also
>You should not let kids hear this. This music is wack as f**k. PEACE....1

Stupid things are to be expected of people who buy music from amazon.com.

>>11678930
lolwat

>>11680183
I hate that.. talentless :/ They clearly know what they're doing. Julian happens to have the sexiest voice ever imo. Having rich parents must have helped, but surely wouldn't have been enough. the fact is people enjoy their music. who cares how they got successful

>>11680183
Well I agree with him. The Strokes are just not my thing I guess. The singer just sounds like an alcoholic or lifetime drug user and they seem to use the same type of pickup rhythm throughout the whole song in most of the songs I've heard. I'm open to listen to what you think some of their greatest songs are because I just can't see what people think is good about this band.

When I first heard this cd I broke the outer casing into plastic shards and inserted them into my ears, as to ease the pain. When that failed to suffice, I drove my car off the road into the nearest tree and prepared to meet my maker. Fortunately I lived to tell about it, and to warn others. Any one who gave this cd good reviews obviously has the mental capacity of a sea turtle, and the soul of an inbred donkey.

>>11678365

>This album - and, I might add, virtually anything coming from the incestuous circle of much over-praised Elephant 6 bands - should be right up the alley of any addled indie-rock nitwits who confuse "quirky" with "quality."
It is filled with what otherwise would have been pleasantly bland, aimless songs that are only made somewhat interesting through overwrought arrangements of 'everything but the kitchen sink' instrumentation (and I'm not so sure a kitchen sink or two wasn't thrown in there somewhere).
And then there are those lyrics! Those dreadfully awful highschool poetry lyrics... sheesh... "...Standing on the sea-weed water/Semen stains the mountain tops..." or "While powerful pistons were sugary sweet machines/Smelling of semen all under the garden" Oh lord, make it stop.
I figure this album should appeal greatly to pretentious and intellectually insecure teenagers who embrace anything they don't readily understand (assuming it has acquired the hipster stamp of approval) as mysterious and brilliant; when, in fact, it might be nothing more than nonsensical gibberish.
Okay, so where does that leave us? In fairness, this probably deserves 2, maybe even 3 stars -- there are far worse albums out there. I only gave it 1 (and would have given 0 if I could) as a reality check, in response to all the irrational praise heaped upon it. So give it a listen... judge for yourself... listen to the pretty horns... to the pretty saws... to Mangum's intriguing voice...
Try to ignore the inane lyrics... and the fact that you aren't being dazzled with brilliance, but rather baffled with- well, you know how the saying goes.
Sorry kids; your King of Carrots isn't wearing any clothes.

>>11680394
>adding witty trite to your reviews is clever!

The Fame Monster:

>Words can't describe how bad this is, but I'm sure you already know. It's going to be hilarious in a couple or few years, when this idiot's 15 minutes of fame are up, watching her get more and more desperate trying to cling to fame. Cause if she's this desperate now, just imagine what she'll be like when you stop paying attention.

HURR BECAUSE YOU'RE TOTALLY DOMINATING THE MUSIC SCENE AND HAVING WORLD TOURS BRO

>>11680351
>my face when i look up the strokes in youtube, watch the video the juicebox and all it consists of is sex and alcohol

> I ALWAYS LIKED THE ALBUM COVER ON ABBY RD, BUT WAS VERY SURPRISED AT THE LACK OF GOOD MATERIAL ON THE ALBUM WHEN I SAMPLED IT FOR THE FIRST TIME TONIGHT. I WOULD RATE THIS ALBUM A NOTCH BELOW THE WHITE ALBUM, WHICH HAD A FEW GOOD SONGS, BUT MOSTLY JUST WEIRD, NO CATCHY TUNES, AND HAS A DEPRESSED OR DOWN TRODDEN FEELING.

>>11678415
>>11678415
>>11678415
Oh my lord.

>I foolishy listened to this pile of dirt cruelly passed off as "music" because I heard it was good metal. What a dumb idea. Black Sabbath are lame Metallica (their new stuff) wannabes! These talentless copycats stole riffs from "St. Anger" and "Death Magnetic" and put it on this lame album like they created them! Skip these Black Sabbath hacks and listen to REAL metal like: Norah Jones, new Metallica, Disturbed, Slipknot, Jewel, Staind and Puddle Of Mudd.

>>11680533
No way that's legit.

>>11680533
>>11680533
Funniest thing I've read today.

>>11680533
>implying that's not an obvious troll

>>11680557
it's obviously not real. His first example of real metal is noraj jones, tha pop-jazz cutie pie.

Despite what many folks might say, its a wonderful time to be a music fan. Given the informative power of the internet combined with the fact that a majority of worthy music finally has (and still is) making its way onto Compact Discs. We have the power to sample, pick and choose music from around the globe. Bliss. I am still discovering stuff from the 70s, that I missed when I was a kid. So why am I jibbering on about this when this is supposed to be an Elliott Smith review? I think I wanted to point out that if you think this is good. And given the reviews, many people love this guy - You have reached some sort of bottleneck in your quest for music. The material, as on all of his records, is mediocre at best. Some say its dark, contemplative, beautiful and deep. It try's to be, but like a weakling trying to do a pull-up, it just can't get its chin over the bar. And on top of that, it is sorely deprived of any thing musically redeemable. You want thought provoking lyrics? No not hear. You want cool alt-pop that sticks in your head? Sorry, try again. And these are actaully the types of things Elliott Smith gets credit for. I am completely convinced that this guy is both melodically and harmonically challenged. If anything, I will say that he is consistant. Creating one forgettable tune after the other without even stopping is maybe something to be proud of. You would think just by chance be might stumble onto something good, I mean they do keep letting him make records. There is so much better out there in the genre of 'whimsical, quasi-dark, singer soungwriters'. You can say that I don't get it. I don't.

> Ok so now we have the Beatles swan song.First off is Come Together which is your typical Lennon song of the period.Not much to say about it, its not really too interesting. Next is Something which is an ok song,kind of pretty but nothing special. Next we have a horrible song by McCartney called Maxwells silver Hammer. This songs bad even for the Beatles. Its like your typical Paul McCartney broadway type of thing except that instead of being about his sheepdog Martha its about a guy who goes around killing people with his hammer. I guess its suppose to be a funny song. Ha ha. Anyway,it is one of the stupidest songs ever recorded. Next comes Oh Darlin which is an ok song sung nicely by McCartney but nothing too great. Then we have Ringo Starr doing another version of Yellow Submarine except this time hes in an octupus' garden. Its charming but thats all. Then I Want You(Shes So Heavy) which is Lennon singing the title over and over again for about an hour.The tune isn't too interesting so it makes for a pretty dull song. Next is Here Comes the Sun which is actually listenable, Harrison thankfully had stopped playing the sitar by this point. Next is Because which sounds like any other Beatle song and its one of those Lennon "Let me expand your mind" songs. You Never Give Me Your Money is actually a pretty good song. Sun King is a waste of tape, Mean Mr. Mustard and Polythene Pam are almost as stupid as Maxwells Silver Hammer.She Came in Through the Bathroom Window is an alright song. Golden Slumbers and You Got to Carry that Weight are beautiful, The end is a nice finish but then you have McCartney doing Her Majesty which was utterly useless.

>>11680622

In a recent interview, Chris Martin hoped that Coldplay's third album would justify the faith of the fans who had been audacious enough to risk investing in their banal, lacklustre, dadrock vision. In particular, Martin was concerned for the welfare of '15 year old kids' who 'risked a beating' for proclaiming their allegiance to Coldplay. Just imagine, if you will, such a confrontation in the comprehensive playground of Martin's fevered imagination:

THUG1: 'ere...yew
COLDPLAY FAN: Yes beastly basher, what do you want?
THUG1: We 'ear you bin listening to that there Coldplay. We don't like that boys, do we?
THUG2: You ain't 'alf gotta point there Basher.
THUG 1: It's not so much his whinging voice that gets to me, nor even his irritating habit of writing things on 'is 'ands. It's more their derivative sub-Radiohead vacuousity that really gets my goat.
COLDPLAY FAN: Cripes, sorry Basher..i never knew.
THUG 1:Well, go and listen to this 'Appy 'Ardcore Enthems an' per'aps we'll say no more abaht it.

What a load of old tosh. Anyway, the album deploys the gratuitous use of the word 'honey' to signify emotion, set to a stirring backdrop of not a lot. Here's a more likely scenario:

PREFECT: You there.
MARTIN: Who sir, me sir?
PREFECT: Yes, Martin tertius is it, or whatever your name is. I hear you've been listening to a dangerous cocktail of U2 and Tears for Fears. What have you to say for youself?
MARTIN: Sorry sir, won't let it happen again sir.
PREFECT: It had better not. Go and clean my study, and don't drop the soap.

>>11680622

>>11680718
wut

>A Kid's Review
>This review is from: A Hard Day's Night (Audio CD)
>What's up with the Hype. This album and the Wack movie are the reason why the beatles are overrated. "It's been a hard day's Night.." are those supposed to be Incredible lyrics? Buy Some album from The rolling Stones.

>>11680769
Inb4 someone calls him a smart kid.

>We're some of us listening to dance music because of its freshness, its resistance to commercialism. Kind of the way grunge was at the beginning. Or punk, or hey, rock and roll. When Daft Punk shows up on the covers of ten of the best-circulated dance music magazines in existence in a six-week period, I start to worry. I buy the disc, and discover it's (1) really repetitive, (2) cheesy in an ironic but ultimately not engaging way, and (3) being touted as the new new thing in dance music. This stinks, man. This is what I listen to dance music to get away from. Sure, you can listen to it as a joke. But even then, why listen twice?

>>11680718

>>11680608
Someone doesn't like Elliott Smith?
What has become of the world?

>>11680804

>ironically listening to music and/or dancing

5-star reviews:

>Justin is so cool you can even get his CD. That goes for older people too. He has the best songs in the whole wide world. Get it now! He has so many songs that I like, like Baby and Someone to Love.

>His hair on the cover of the CD is rockin'. My World 2.0 is my favorite CD of all time. I like the black and white and purple CD cover. I can't wait to buy his next album. I will wait in line the night before with my iPod and Justin Bieber t-shirt. Yeah! I luv turtles and internet privacy. (lolwut)

>Im a 30 year old female with the worst case of Bieber Fever ever lol. So needless to say i luv this cd. I listen to this and his first record everyday and it always helps me feel better after a long, stressfull day at work. Even my boyfriend has come to accept that he's dating a Belieber, lol. Justin is an amazing kid, so talented, humble, and down to earth. And he truly luvs his fans, he tells us so everyday on twitter and in interviews. I've been to several of his shows and i can tell u that he sounds amazing singing live. Plus his voice sounds so much deeper live than on the cd. And i can tell u that he's so nice cause i've met him twice already. I recommend this album to everyone regardless of ur age. Give it a chance. I luv u Justin!!!

I lol'd at this one:
>I am 51 and purchased this CD for myself. It has a good beat and this young man reminds me of a cross between Donny Osmond and Michael Jackson. That is who we listened to in the 70's. Justin Bieber is a talented and fresh artist
with much potential to last for years to come. Young and old will enjoy this "hip hop pop" music and I enjoy listening to it when I drive. It is upbeat and gives my old bones some energy and joy. I rated it five stars and would purchase more music from Justin in the future and would give them to my nieces as gifts!

>After being a huge fan of the go-to Daft Punk songs such as Harder Better Faster Stronger, Digital Love, and so on, I decided to go back and purchase all the Daft Punk CDs. While I immediately loved both Discovery and Human After All, I found Homework simply grating to my ears and really rough around the edges. It seems Daft Punk really improved with subsequent albums.

>Human After All > Homework

>lolwut.png

>>11680903
My bad, just in case you couldn't figure out the album.

>>11680533
This guy has some other neat gems.

Exile on Main Street
>The Rolling Stones are garbage for old dorky hippies! Don't waste your money on this generic garbage. Listen to some awesome music like 50 Cent, Soulja Boy, Carrie Underwood or Green Day instead. You know why this band sucks? Besides every song sounding the same, they never got any MTV or BET airplay. What gives?!

>The Cure were best when they did fun pop songs, like in the 80's and early 90's! Pop songs are what gets played on radio, and the radio is the only sure sign of what's good in music. Obviously this album doesn't get played on the radio. I took a chance with this album, thinking it would feature the "fun" rock side of Robert Smith. Alas, it's totally boring rock. I understand that The Cure wanted to try their talented hands at ethereal rock or whatever, but this stuff just drags on and on and on like a movie or something. Yes, it's very cinematic; cinematic with Smith's mopey vocals, which sound so much better when he's in a good mood. And why wouldn't the guy be in a good mood? HE MAKES MILLIONS OF DOLLARS!! Simply put, this album is too long, too brooding, and too ambitious in scope.

>The Cure
>Fun pop songs
>the radio is the only sure sign of what's good in music
>this album doesn't get played on the radio.

Blind Guardian-A Night at the Opera
>don't know how somepeople can give 5 stars to this album. It's real bad sometimes sound like a "bad hardcore copy of 'The Who'", without musical creativity, an so on. Personally, I can's hear beyond the third song. Please don't waste your money!!! Hear it first.
>bad hardcore copy of 'The Who'
>what the fuck does that even mean?
>My face when this review

>This disc is an incredible disappointment- Human after all is a significant, saddening departure from Daft Punk's previous work. This disc is entirely devoid of emotion, in stark contrast to discovery, whose tracks easily elicit their intended emotional responses. I couldn't stop playing Discovery, and I can hardly stomach listening to "Human after all" after just hearing it for the first time. I hope Daft Punk can recover from their hiatus and get themselves back on track, cause their fans (at least this one) are anxiously waiting. If you've never experienced Daft Punk, please avoid this disc, they're far more talented than this disc would lead you to believe.

I find it funny that everyone who wrote a bad review for Human After All, for the most part say it's a disappointment from discovery, almost entirely skipping over Homework.

>>11680980
>The Cure were best when they did fun pop songs

OH FUCK NO

>>11678597
>Uuuugghhh this album is terrible. When will you hipsters stop listening to such awful garbage? Each time I think you've found the weirdest, stupidest and most obscure nonsense to obsess over, you find something even worse. How anyone can listen to these boring, whiny, wannabe Beach Boy songs for one minute, not to mention 12+ is truly mind-blowing.

>>11681014
But that album really isn't that great

>>11680960
Allman Bros. At Fillmore East
>I was at a bar wearing my Kings Of Leon t-shirt and a bunch of drunken buffoons in theirs 50s with heavy hick accents said that the Kings Of Leon sucked. Then I said, "No way! They're getting a lot of airplay on the radio and even Miley Cyrus likes them... they're real southern rock!" and they all started guffawing and ROFL'ing at me. This old hippie with a long white beard and ponytail told the bartender to play some Allman Brothers to show "this kid what real southern rock is". Needless to say I hated it! The guitar playing is boring, the songs are WAY too long and the singer sounds like a redneck.. for real southern rock check out Kings Of Leon, Kid Rock, Carrie Underwood, Garth Brooks and Taylor Swift!

Inspiration (William Hung)
>I am inspired after hearing this album! This guy, William Hung, is a genius at pop! He writes better than those "Beatles" hacks and scores with all the ladies! He's more talented than Beethoven or Mozart, possibly even more talented than the guys from Nickelback- WOAH. Definitely make sure to buy this album, you WON'T regret it. One of the best albums of the decade... besides St. Anger, of course.

Nokia 5800
>Cell phones are so 1999! Nowadays everyone uses a pager or writes letters to see what their friends are up to. \

>>11680980
Another one:
>The Cure is a close second to U2 in the race for being the worst band in rock history. It's astounding how horrible their music really is. Asking me to listen to the Cure or U2 is like asking me whether I would like to be shot in the gut or kneecaps.
>"Disintegration" is nothing but a 71 minute and 42 second pity party. Heavily laced with cheesy '80's synthesizers the music and vocals are so fragile it's is sure to induce nausea at least. They add complex melodies just to show how pretensious they are.
>It's not dark and gloomy album but rather a pathetic opus. Dark and gloomy is murder suicide, and child molestation, not universal life experiences. Middle class anxieties and broken relationships are not heavy emotions; it's normal life experience. The album, along with the Cure's whole career, shows how anything can be dramatized. It's surprised they don't whine about hangnails and bad parking spots.
>The cherry on top of this sunday is Robert Smith's voice. If his pathetic whining voice is not the most annoying thing recorded, I don't know what is. How anybody could stand it for more than five minutes is a mystery.
>There are not enough words to describe how awful the complete waste of time called "Disintegration" really is. Horrible, disgusting, nasty, wretched, and atrocious doesn't even to begin to describe the listening experience.
This guy also gave Odelay a one and is a total hard rock/metalfag.

>I'm one of those guys who originally set out to buy just the "Yes, Highlights, The Very Best of" CD. However, upon reading the glowing comments on this remastered earlier album, I decided to purchase it as well. What a waste of money. Just so you know, the ONLY two Yes songs that I like turn out to be the spunky familiar "Owner of a Lonely Heart" and "Rythm of Love," neither of course which are on this album. I consider myself someone with a good taste for music, and this album comes across as a disordered and unmemorable blend of mush. I know I may be coming across as perhaps overly critical, but I'm hoping to save someone else from making a purchase decision based on the adjacent advise. IMHO, this is one of those albums that must be fascinating to listen to while on LSD, and I don't do drugs. The material is lacks coherent structure, suffers from an absense of strong melody lines, doesn't seem to go anywhere, and doesn't offer me anything that makes me want to come back for more. This CD definitely belongs in the trash heap of history. As for the band, I'm glad they were able to eventually create a couple (literally) songs that have something to offer. This CD, however, doesn't.

No Amazon thread is complete without this gem of a review.

>Dream Theater's Images and Words

0 of 19 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars Beware you may be listening to AC/DC, November 4, 2005
By Charl E Boy "Charlie" - See all my reviews
Amazon Verified Purchase(What's this?)
This review is from: Images & Words (Audio CD)
I purchased the Images and Words (ATCO 792148-2) CD from CDnow.
I got the correct liner notes, the disc is a factory pressing, correct in every way, with 8 tracks of W&I listed. However, the songs are not the songs of Images and words.
Turns out the music pressed onto my disc is the 10 track AC-DC Back in Black
I would suspect this is not the only wrong pressing out there.
Interesting! Hold those Reviews, this changes everything!
I gave one star to the music on my disc, but 5 stars for the real I&W
Could be why this fine cd has had a few bad reviews?

>My face when

>>11681092
Same guy:
>1.0 out of 5 stars Another Low Point of the 90's, October 5, 2004 By Janitor X
>This review is from: Odelay (Audio CD)
>Rock and Roll began as a fusion of musical styles and has a tradition of fusing new styles to one another for the past 50 years. However, there is such a thing as overkill and that is exactly what Beck does.
>"Odelay" sounds like a child making a musical collage with his father's record collection. Even Beck's appearance is rather child like. Like a child, Beck succeeds in making a giant random, mess on this album.
If the point of the album was to be childlike, then he forgot the key element of what makes being a child fun, which is an endless well of energy. Beck's vocal style is typical of Indie Rock, monotone and lifeless. Coupled with the bizarre lyrics, there is nothing to grab onto to.
>It seems the music is extremely eclectic to cross musical boundaries. If there was a reason to cross those boundaries to make something powerful or memorable that would be great, but he breaks the rules just to break them.
>"Odelay" is basically the regurgitation of 30 years of pop culture. No matter how much you analyze a pile of vomit, it's still a pile of vomit.

Miasma - The Black Dahlia Murder

>I hate mallcore music, such as darkest ahour,killswitch engage,as i lay dying,avanged seven folds (how ever you spell their gay name),and the rest of the mallcore world and gothic little posers... the black dahlia murder's " miasma" is totaly unoriginal and it rips off so many dm bands that it pisses me off (sigh).

Fuzzzz. fuzz pedal, fuzz pedal. someone likes the fuzz pedal too much. fuzzy overlapping fuzz.. fuzz intro, fuzz effects, fuzz solo, fuzz chorus. consistent snare. nothing new.. just reaally fuzzy.

Astoundingly overrated, Stevens is a weak singer-songwriter who sounds here like a pastiche of James Taylor and Brian Wilson at their very worst. Lyrical conceits fall flat, and the overtones of born-again-ness are teeth-grating. The tunes are lackadaisical, half-composed at best. Nothing here has any energy, and I can't detect any real emotion or commitment here.

I am at a loss to explain why this collection of mediocre-to-bad songs, performed and sung with a half-a$$ed attitude and no energy, has gotten so many good reviews from so many people. There is absolutely nothing here. Buying this is like buying a blank CD.

Weezer - Pinkerton

>This is definately heading off to a used cd store. Weezer's debut cd is definately one of the best cds in my collection...now what the hell do they call this racket? These songs don't really have too much depth, the lyrics are bad, and the instrumentation sounds like a five year old who just picked up a guitar and went crazy with it. Do not buy this piece of trash.

Whatareyoudoingnigger.jpg

Sunlandic Twins

in the great tradition of twee meets symphonic operatic bombast (early Sparks, 10CC, ELO, Brian Wilson's "Smile") along limps
Of Montreal. weird samplings from egregious synths assult you, then the chorale of eunuchs chimes out-of-tune in. these guys are total limpwristers in every sense: the "dance" stuff isn't very danceable (just go put on your New Order records and laugh away), the pop isn't very memorable...it's a carosel that, going by, going round, makes you go, "hmm, how caroselish..." you want to get off (read for the pun) very very very quickly. stuff this stuff, man! it's not very memorable or, ultimately, clever. "every day is sunday" and "the party's crashing" are just fluff you brush off your aural jacket. yicky! there IS a band that is doing odd pop that is not le weird pour le weird--and that would be the sugarplastic. PROG IS THE NEW INDIE... there's my bumpersticker for ya.
unabsahed plugs for GOOD RECORDS: the black watch, "innercity garden EP," the new go-betweens, the swervedriver comp...


I love when they try to use big words

>>11681251
>a$$ed

>>11681275
Egregious synths in an of montreal record. Idontthinksotim.jpg

Ramones - s/t
>Seriously, every song in this album sounds the same. They can't sing and have managed to figure out one way to express music. By droning out the same, tired guitar sequence while ushering in their strange half talk/half mumble singing style, with lyrics that no one can understand, or would want to. Absolute trash and over hyped garbage.
brofist.jpg

Hold on guys, best one comin' through.

Have One on Me

>This is a joke,right?? Are there some faux hipsters who would actually sit through this whole set??? Hahahahaha!!! If we want to win the "war on terror", ship this baby down to Guantanamo Bay and we'll find Bin Laden next week. This is a joke, right??? No record company exec actually said "yeah, this is great, let's sign her!" If this is not a joke, all of the other reviewers are high and need to put down the spliff and listen to some actual music....

This gentleman does not know what a hipster is, and thinks people say spliff.

Second Stage Turbine Blade

>I'm sorry... I don't know where all these good reviews are coming from, this is one of the worst bands I've ever heard. Admittitdly I do not have the album (fortunately) but I have seen them live. I saw them whilst they were supporting Finch. The singer has possibly the most annoying voice I have ever heard. If u want good bands buy AFI, Finch, Thursday, From Autumn To Ashes, Thrice... ...

>>11681376
0/10

>>11681376
Five star review of Bitte Orca for the infamous roll who gives crap albums five stars and panned great albums (only person to give one star to Another Green World):

>Hoop to goo! I was terrified of the arbitrary albatross, so I (TRANSITION DELETED) invested in habitual nuns and went on narwhal hunts, by which I mean I think I was seeing translucent Shmoos frolicking in the dandruffy deep sea. I opened my eyes again because they were painted over in the mirror the first time I tried. It happens a lot more than you wouldn't bother to think about because you're mostly reactionary. Temecula tarantulas. Urinary tract as amusement park flume.

>The more real, the more unreal. You should thank me because I'm letting you fill in the gaps all by yourself. It's art as life or something Warhol might have mumbled, bored and floating in the direction of a silly death. Sea spiders as space stations. Tonsils as faces. Crustaceans mimicking WaveRunners. Inanimate objects hiding out in jive-talk. Beer pong in heaven: Every time a perfect score, yawn.

>I opened my eyes again and saw black waves rolling against my temples, a bridge to disrepair. Never a finish line, but always the thought of one, horizon wavering, sun pulling out all the salt. No means go. The music tends to get in the way this time. Iron knees.

>>11681069
Never said it was. That being said, I found it funny that people who disliked it in general seemed like they only listened to Discovery.

Which is pretty funny.

Also in general the people arguing between Discovery and Homework all argue the same things for BOTH albums. It's pretty funny.

>5 stars for this? LOL. I heard Santeria on the radio and in a club. I thought man, what a great song maybe this group is good. I bought the CD, what a mistake. This is like a Red Hot Chili Peppers Imitation which isn't a good thing. I guess the formula for sucess for some "musicians" in the 90's is to lace a recording with profanity and favorable references to drugs and extreme sexually explicit lyrics. And trashy lyrics aside the music is boring without much harmony and too much screaming. 5 stars? Please.

And another
>OK I know you read my rating of the cd and then my title is that it is a really really good album. But I think that the average rating of this cd should only be a 4 1/2. It is really good, but What I Got was given a bit too much radio and MtV play. Thats not to say that the song is bad. My favorites are Wrong Way, Same in the End, April 29, 1992, Santeria, Seed, Ballad of Johnny Butt, Caress Me Down, and the last song on the CD, although I cant think of its name now.
>But this CD, its not the greatest but it sure is good.

Blues for Red Sun

>These reviewers must tbe on crack to compare this band to balck Sbbath. Kyuss sounds worse than an 80's hair band.

By R. Hill. Clark. "RHC" (Seattle, Wa.)

I was expecting to be mindblown by this record. I am in a post metal mode right now, buying stuff like Intronaut and The Ocean, etc. Kylesa was supposed to dazzle. Two drummers. Despite all that, sounds like rear end to me.

>>11681598
whatthefuckamireading.jpg