>Best pony
My nigga

Trippydippydoos.

Threadly reminder that all writefags are good people, and we appreciate the free entertainment.

I do, anyway.

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parking

>>11517555
Shin gave us wonderful entertainment.

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>Night if you're reading this at work, I hear walmart is hiring
>1170 Candy Street, Ponyville
>0400 hours
>You travel across the gravel street with your partner
>The back alley of course, you don't want to be seen
>After all, you haven't been to this town in ages.
>It was quiet though, and you could actually get a good picture of the stars.
>Your mouth waters as you imagine your prize
>You pull your teammate over the fence
>Under the cover of the night, you slowly and quietly slide open the window to the house
>You're really procrastinating on this, you realize, but your plan is perfect
>Get inside, retrieve the ingredients without disturbing the occupant, then exfiltrate.
>You slip inside the hallway in your, as your fiance called it "attractive" catsuit brushes against your fur
>You land softly on the hardwood floor and wait
>Flash Sentry, also in a catsuit lands behind you
>The two of you silently slide towards the target's room, and gracefully, quietely open the door, turning the knob with your hooves (Because magic makes noise) then pushing it
>The two of you arch your backs and tiphhoof across the carpet, lifting yourselves above the bed
>Anon looks so cute when he's asleep
>"So how do we get the syrup?" Whispers Flash
"First, we need to remove the covers."
>You bite the corner of the sheets by his feet, if you took it off his chest he might react
>Flash does the same on his side and you lift the covers to where you think Anon's navel is
"Next, we remove the pants"
>Carefully you fumble with the button, slipping it out of the hole on Anon's jeans
>Of all the days he chose to sleep in his clothes...
>Flash and you pull Anon's pants off slowly
>Anon's large syrup nozzle is already visible through his boxers, you lick your lips and use your teeth to remove his undergarments
>"That's where the syrup comes from?" Flash asks
"Yes, do you know how to retrieve it?"
>"No..."
"Okay, well first, you use your tongue to take the nozzle into your mouth and then..."

>>11517581
STOP RIGHT THERE, CITIZEN!

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Parking.
>>11517512
Nah, wouldn't be comfortable reposting that without completely rewriting it.

>>11517581
Reminder that Shin needs to write or fuck off.

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>>11517593

>You groggily open your eyes and stare at the ceiling.
>Your legs are cold.
>Your crotch tickles...
>You hear a... slurping noise?
>Wait...
>You look down
>The sight that comes back to you is nothing short of fucked.
>The Stallion who stole your only love is sucking your dick.
>Slurp
>slluurrrp
>"Ish thish huw yu gec irt outp?"
>yfw
>Looking to your side, you see... Twilight.
>Twilight, watching hungrily, in the middle of licking her lips, stares you in the eyes
>Her ears lower and her expression turns frightened
>"Oh... uh... Sorry Anon, we didn't mean to wake you, but I had an idea and we really need your syrup for our wedding cake!
>yfw
>"Now Flash, there'll be a few signs when it's done, the nozzle will pulse, and something hot, sticky, and sweet will enter your mouth"
>"That's the signal to pull off and retrieve the cup"
>Twilight's voice doesn't really help anything
>This must be some sort of really suc- damnit, fucked up dream of yours
>You pinch your cheek
>Ow.
>You just drop your arm in surrender
>They're going to use your cum as an ingredient in their wedding cake.
>How many times have ponies snuck into your house to get this ingredient already?
>A small pain shoots up your pelvis as you climax
>Flash quickly pulls his mouth off you and retrieves a plastic cup which he holds awkwardly in his socks
>Your man-juice fills it almost to the brim before tipping off
>"Wow, you're right Twi-" He pauses to lick his lips, "This stuff really is sweet!"
>He puts a lid halfway on the cup and joins her together
>Twilight takes a taste of it with her tongue, "Mmm!" then finally pops the lid shut
>"Thanks Anon!" They say in unison, then leave your room
>You just sit there with a blank face
>You still have no idea what just happened
>A few hours later and the sleep finishes collecting in massive bags under your eyes, you take a moment to contemplate suicide.
>Then you retrieve the amnesiacs from the closet and down the entire bottle.
>Today was an average day

>>11517644
Goodnight faggots, I hope my autism was enough to stem the tide of shit.

>>11517707
It's never enough.
but thanks.

Can someone direct me to the RP chats? Rumor going around that AiE has some alright RP chats...

>>11517829
They won't let you in. It's all oldfags tugging weenies and they don't want anyone to see.

>>11517870
>All oldfags.
Like?

I got recommended to read 'Anon in Equestria' by Bastinator.. The worst story I have ever read.

>>11517896
That is normal reaction don't worry.

>>11517889
Mandroid
Sorc
Pale
Leucine
Sherm
Rune (?)
Overlord
Imp (But I think they kicked him for being a little bitch.)
Gadget (?)
Jazzteeth
Pike (?)
R/T
ViolinAnon

And others.

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>You sit, tired, bags under your eye under the oppresive light of your basement lamp
>You hated it, it reminded you of the sun, the bane of your existance
>Jumping over to /mlp/ like you do every hour, you surf the board
>Ah, there it is, Anon in Equestria.
>You read a few of the stories in the threads - shitty ones, good ones, and the occasional tripfag circlejerk.
>But then...
>You see it.
>Some bastard mentioned HIM.
>This is an affront to your entire being!
>How dare he shit all over this thread!
"Time to fight fire with fire" you say, as your bloated arm grabs at a bowl of cheetos
>Two threads over, the storm is not over, and while writers tried to save their thread, none could stop your reign of shit.
>You're in the middle of finishing tonight's magnum opus
>An enlongated strawman in green story form, so it'll trick those pesky fucks into thinking it's a story at first!
>You finish typing the shitstory as a sudden flash illuminates the room
>IT BURNS!
>lowering your arm... you see a purple equine form of...
>Twilight?
>OMG! Finally you get to leave this world!
>But you must post your shit first...
>"Hello Anon...Are you ready?
>W-what's with the sock?
>And that bottle?
>"If you keep shitposting Anon, I might have to stuff up your ass..."

>>11517984
>>11517923
>>11517889
>>11517870
>tfw you want to RP with honest and good intentions and is refused.
Shit sucks.

Anyway, thread needs some green text. Taking requests, I'll probably be done with them next thread.

>>11517984
Time to never read any of them again. Is there anyone here that's good a writing that doesn't RP?

>>11518026
Anon finds [your waifu here] crying over something, then it ends with Anon cuddling [your waifu here]

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>>11518012
It's not even the first time, either.

>>11518097
The worst part is muffins keeps coming in without posting any Magic School.

>>11518074
Fillydelphian
Bolding
NotOneFuck
Gatorbait

Only good non-RP fags on the active list.

>>11517984
Haha, Sherm doesn't RP in the Skype. Just some tinychat

Also, R/T has been gone for months.

>>11518074

top fucking lel

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>Hundreds of miles south of the Equestrian Borders, a solitary, timeworn, dilapidated castle that lies upon a barren, craggy precipice is bustling with activity. The grey concrete blocks that once held strong as a bastion for its old occupants has instead been left to ruin. Pieces of the castle’s battlements lie cracked and crumbling; they reveal the mere shell of the once glorious shelter. Spires that once reached the sky now litter the ground with their dislocated sections, the unlucky pieces that fell and rolled were cast into the abyss below, to be swept away by the roaring current that lie nearly a thousand feet below.

>To say that the castle was left to rot and fade from history would be a lie, for a certain species of creature has seen fit to occupy its walls. Changelings, a huge swarm of them, fly around the ramparts, using their magic to fix whatever they can. Sections of the castle have been “saved” by the green gunky residue left behind from their attempts. The ratio of old grey castle walls to the green glue like substance holding it together will soon turn towards the latter.

>While the drones see to their work, soldiers move about the castle, crushing, burning, and maiming any small creature they can’t harvest for love. Giant spiders near your height of various colors and types flee in droves from the establishment, fearing for their lives.

>“How much longer must I wait until my castle is rid of its pests Commander?” The double flanged voice of an irritated female Changeling resounds throughout the spacious room. She’s a rather tall and lanky thing that even rivals Celestia in height. This particular insect takes on an appearance that strongly contrasted her brethren. Unlike them, her hardened carapace was much more defined; her hole-filled hooves had sharper curves that would inspire fear into those unfortunate enough to be on the receiving end of her physical blows.

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>>11518293
Her long, seaweed green mane and tail sport a rather obvious holes like her hooves, but she pays them no mind. It doesn’t matter to her; the race she rules over see her as nothing less than perfection in their eyes, and she herself believes it to be true. It doesn’t matter if her fangs drool with anticipation that she hisses when she speaks, or that certain spots of her hardened shell are stricken with grey dots: she’s the epitome of beauty among her kind. Her sickly green slits scan over the soldier right before her, awaiting his answer. Her piercing, malevolent gaze does nothing more than make the Changeling quake in his hoplite armor.

“I grow tired of waiting. The changeling reaches out and trails a hoof along the Commander’s chin, causing his shaking to intensify. “If you cannot complete such a simple task within the hour,” she trails off when one of her jagged half-cut holes runs across his chin, “I’ll find a replacement. Do I make myself clear?” The Commander nods furiously.

“Y-yes your m-majesty,” he sputters, sweating profusely. Finally, a smile graces her features, showing off her rather sharp, protruding teeth.

“Good. Now go.” Chrysalis points a hoof towards the exit archway. The Commander salutes her before zipping away, leaving a cloud of smoke in his wake. “Ah, it pays well to have such hardworking subjects. Now, if only little Duplicate would report to me, today would be absolutely perfe—“ She doesn’t get to finish her statement before two ragged, out of breath changelings come running into her room. Her scowl returns almost immediately. “What is the meaning of this?!” One of the two manages to speak up after a bit of breathing.

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>>11518146
My personal list would have the four listed above as well as these four:

>Irish
Good writer, just ignore his /soc/ if you don't like it. One of the few who can write Pinkie well.
>Stavicodone
One of the best writefags around right now. Don't listen to the faggots who claim he's Shin. There's no proof and their writing styles differ too much. His story is my current favorite, I just wish he'd hurry up and update. Stop writing love letters to cheeselegs and WRITE, DAMN IT! Come on, Stav, I LURVE YOU-OH!
>Lunaguy
Generally quality. I like his 'WaPP' quite a bit. Also, My Little Human is good stuff.
>WNrite
Quality is a little more variable than the others, but he's the one who got me into AiE. Also, he REALLY needs to finish 'Angel'

These are just another four greats from the active list.
Also, avoid alidan like the plague. Colossal faggot who should insert bullet into brain posthaste.
Now make like Rainbow, here, and READ!

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>>11517984
Nnnnnnope
I got the fuck out of there before it god real bad.

I still can't believe it all stemmed from a joke Leucine made about Trixie being my annoying roommate.

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>>11518362

>“Queen Chrysalis, we’ve got a bit of a problem!” she manages to say before having to take another lungful of air. “We have found Duplicate.” Chrysalis’s eyes widen at the rather great sounding news, but judging by how her soldiers are acting, she’s hesitant to show any sign of joy or relief.

>“But—” the Queen starts.

>“There isn’t much left of her,” the other changeling informs before looking out into the hallway. “Ditto, bring her in.” A third changeling, adjourned in the same hoplite armor as the Commander, comes in dragging a light green burlap sack. The Queen’s mood worsens when she sees the dark stain sitting at the bottom of the bag.

>“Th-There was a complication in her mission. When we got there, we found her tracks, the human’s, and a pack of timber wolves’. After we searched the area, we discovered, well, this.” Ditto explains, motioning to the sack. He finds it hard to make eye contact with his Queen and he should. Her eyes seem to be glowing with a sickly green flame.

>“So,” she hisses, being sure to draw out her words, “tell me, how did my number one end up in such a state?”

>“W-we believe the human orchestrated a trap. Th-the tracks show him being led out of the Everfree by the wolf pack. And some of her parts were seen around where those same animals laid down to rest after their meal…”

>“Are you telling me a blind human managed to convince timber wolves to eat her in the middle of that untamable forest, all by himself? And how did she manage to capture him when he was in Manehattan with Masquerade?” Chrysalis asks, rising to her hooves. The three changelings before her begin to huddle together.

>>11518371
The more you trumpet about Stavi, the more people are going to call him Shin.

>>11518397
>Gadget not RPing
It's like the heavens came together to mend my broken heart

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>>11518408
>We don’t know what happened your majesty, but if there’s anything we do know, is that somehow, Duplicate managed to capture Anonymous, only to be eaten. Though, there’s one thing that seems peculiar to us. B-but I have to take it out of the bag to show you.” Ditto explains. Chrysalis raises her hoof as if to block the bag from sight before grimacing.

>“If you must.” The queen almost immediately regrets those words as Ditto immediately opens the top, and allows the chewed up bits of changeling hooves, wings, and the back of Duplicate to grace the still dirtied floor. Ditto, not even batting an eye, maneuvers Duplicate’s back so the queen can get a good look.

>“If you look past the missing wings, you’ll see a rather prominent hoof print upon her back.” Despite her body’s protests, she leans in and looks to where Ditto is pointing. Sure enough, she finds the distinct pattern of your shoe, along with the bite marks from various timber wolves. “We’ve yet to see any species on this planet to have a matching print. It must be the human’s. We believe Duplicate may have been transporting Anon using magic, only to tire herself out. When she stopped to take a break, the wolves may have come for them. At that point Anonymous may have injured Duplicate while she was distracted, insuring his survival, and her demise. Then they may have led Anonymous out of the forest and to pony civilization. His tracks ended at a cottage on the edge of the woods.”

>When he finishes, silence resounds throughout the room for a few moments. Chrysalis takes this time to mull over the details; to put together the pieces in her own way. When she realizes that Ditto’s explanation was the most probable, it takes everything she has to keep from bursting into a fit of rage right then and there. Though, she can’t stop the shaking that came with it.

>>11518415
Basically this. Give a new writer enough attention in a small enough time and people will accuse them of being Shin.

>>11518397
Has anybody written an "All Ponies go to Heaven" fic, yet?

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>>11518415
When else has he been mentioned?

Other than people already calling him Shin, I haven't seen his name in several threads.

Besides, he always gets left out of that 'new writer' copypasta and I don't think that's right.

Can we please, please just stop talking about Shin? Pretty please? All it ever does is shit up the threads...

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>mfw
And my exams are over too. This summer's going to be less than great.


>>11518443
You just triggered my feels card.

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>>11518440
>“I don’t believe this!” Chrysalis shouts before stamping her hoof down upon the grey bricks making up the floor. Bits of concrete chip away and the other changelings in the room back towards the door, away from their snarling Queen. “How can something so ridiculous be allowed to happen?! How lucky is this hairless ape?!” She grits her teeth before looking towards the group.

>“I-I don’t know y-your majesty,” one of the changelings manages to stutter. With an angry hiss Chrysalis turns her back to them, and then she makes her way to an open window overlooking the barren wasteland around her home. For several moments she gazes upon the sterile dirt, trying her hardest to come up with a solution to her problem.

>Her master scheme involves you, so despite her nigh incomprehensible anger towards you, she can’t cut you out of the picture, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t going to rough you up. You are much too useful, in a way she believes you to be quite fortunate yet again, any other creature would have been made a stain upon the floor by her own hooves. When she looks down at her own appendages, is when she realizes what she can do.

>It’s an ancient spell, one that’s forbidden for her kind to use. But, it can be harnessed in case of an emergency such as this one. Duplicate was the only changeling in her cluster capable of taking the throne when Chrysalis decided to retire, and there wouldn’t be another applicant like her for a long, long time. She could say that the little bug is just as lucky as you in that particular aspect. So, with a heavy sigh, Chrysalis turns back to her minions.

>>11518129
maybe muffins is making it a really big chapter.
muffins did post some stories in fr. is he moving there?

>>11518468
No idea really.

But I'll fill in the twilight gap if he refuses to post it.

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>>11518459
>“Ditto,” the armored changeling immediately stands up straight and salutes, “has the Laz’uh’roos Cluster been delivered to the underground vault?” When he nods, she smiles. “Good, bring one of the eggs to me immediately, I do not care which one you choose. The rest of you, find a supply room, grab some chalk, and come back here. We’ve got a long night ahead of us.”

And that's all for now. More to come at a later time.

>>11518468
He said earlier that he's just having trouble with it.
And no he's not moving to FR, he just hangs out around there.

>>11518502
Y-You did it.

The dam worked.

>>11518524
Please fuck off and don't start this shit again.

>Day 2pi in Equestria.
>Be on the ponynet fucking around, posting humans in ducklandia stories (AiD for short).
>6/2(2+3)
>You and your academic peers spend weeks searching an answer.
>Chaos ensues. The thread splits and derails.
>Factional groups supporting various methods and answers rise up.
>Twilight herself cannot even settle on a single answer-- driving her into insanity.
>Equestria is sent into 9000 years of darkness as Discord takes advantage of the mayhem and madness.

>You are Anonymous. It’s Saturday night. You have Sundays off.
>That means you get to get out of Ponyville for a nice camping trip in Whitetail Woods.
>It wasn’t until your sudden arrival in Equestria did you find your love for the outdoors. You were distracted by all the technology and all the distractions that came with it. Now, you’re more at home inside a small tent than a house. The sounds of wildlife became your own lullaby.
>Sometimes you would get a pony or two to join you on the fun, but you haven’t dropped all habits you brought along from Earth. You still enjoy your privacy. Having to act socially acceptable in your most comfortable environment is, well, uncomfortable.
>And tonight is one of the comfortable nights.
>You set up camp in small clearing next to a fallen tree. Collecting decaying branches and leaves made starting a fire easy, and the large fallen tree was great for leaning against. The flat land was also perfect for you tiny blue tent.
>So here you are. Resting against a rotting tree with your eyes closed, listening to the crackling of the fire.
>A small rumbling in your stomach yanks you out of that peaceful state.
>Hungry already? Man, you ate a big dinner in hopes this exact thing wouldn’t happen.
>You always bring extra provisions in case of an emergency and this doesn’t fit the bill.
>You sigh and try to get comfortable again, but no luck.
>And to top it off, the fire is beginning to die down.
>Swearing under your breath, you push yourself off the ground and wipe the dirt off the back of your pants.
>No wood left by the fallen tree. Wonderful. Looks like you have to walk around in the dark.

>>11518571
>After unlatching the small lantern off of your backpack, you pick the direction opposite of the moon to go look for wood, just so you have something to follow to find your way back to camp. You manage to find hundreds of thousands of twigs that would burn up in an instant, but nothing thick enough to last half the night. It’s not unusual, just bad luck.
>About ten minutes of searching later, you almost quit, but lo and behold, another fallen tree with branches falling off everywhere. Awesome.
>You bend over to pick one of the branches up, but a large rustling from a nearby bush, followed by an odd clicking noise causes you to jump. You bring a large knife with you into the wilds for safety reasons, and your free hand is hovering over its belt pouch right now. You’re not anticipating on using it. Things in Whitetail Woods are mostly harmless. At the same time, most things in Whitetail are small, and that wasn’t the sound of a small creature.
>Taking a leap of faith here, you slowly approach the bush while tightening your grip on your blade. Once you’re close, you worry of something jumping out at you, but the lantern shining on the bush or your approach doesn’t gauge a reaction.
>Only a few steps away do you stop, waiting for any kind of reaction.
>But, nothing.
>After a few extra seconds, you start to walk away, still facing the bush. Still, no reaction.
>You let out a sigh of relief, and pull your hand away from the blade. Good thing too. You have absolutely no idea how to use this thing aside from stabby stabby crabby patty.

>>11518585
>With that quick moment of tension out of the way, you can get back to gathering wood. You pick up four large branches and haul the over your shoulder all the way back to the camp. You snuff out the lantern, throw one branch into the fire, and throw the rest into a pile off to the side.
>Through a series of grunts, you take your spot once again against the tree.
>Aaaaand the hunger is back. Awesome. Without something to occupy yourself with, you’re stuck with this hunger.
>Aaah, to heck with it.
>You push yourself off the ground and go to your tent. Some quick digging reveals your baggie of dried fruits. Jackpot.
>After quickly stuffing one in your face, you exit the tent with the bag in your hand.
>Then you notice something off.
>Not much. Just, you know, a mysterious blue mare with a purple hat and cape standing where you were a minute ago.
>Caught like a deer in headlights, you stand and stare at her as she returns that stare while accompanying it with a quivering expression.
“Hello?”
>”I love you.”
“Wha-?“
>She scrambles towards you, stumbling over her own hooves and tripping before coming to your own feet.
>”I loooove you!”
“I-“
>”Do you love me?” She adopts a cute begging expression and sit on her haunches.
“Heh, not going to buy me a drink first?”
>Her face contorts into confusion as the joke obviously goes over her head.
“Okaaaaay. Well the answer is no, of course. Sorry.”
>”Really?! Dang, I’m not very good at this. Hold on, lemme try again.”

>>11518597
“Um,”
>The mare gallops over to a bush and disappears inside, only to come out a few seconds later with a few leaves in her hair.
>”Ah! Alas, my love! I have found you!” She not-so-gracefully saunters over to you, hoof dramatically placed over her forehead right under her horn. “Now that we are finally united, I ask your hoof in marriage so we may love each other for the remainder of our lives!”
>You fail to suppress a chuckle at the absurdity of this situation.
>”S-still?! Dangit! Dangit, dangit! What… what about laying down together?”
“What.”
>”Y-yeah! I remember hearing something about ponies who love each other like to lay down and sometimes wrestle!”
“Stop. Just…” You can’t facepalm hard enough. “Just stop. Look I’m flattered but—Hey!”
>You’re cut off as the mare bites down on your shirt and attempts to pull you down.
>”Leff lay down!”
“Get, get off!”
>She has little strength, but that is a damn strong grip.
>You attempt to yank and pull her off, but to no avail.
“Get…” You place your boot against her chest and push as hard as you can. “Off!”
>Finally, the mare is off. She hits the ground hard and with a loud yelp. On impact, she ignites in a green flame that dies as just as quickly as it came.
>Except that’s not a blue mare in a wizard hat anymore.
>It’s a pitch black, bug-like pony with giant fangs.

>>11518612
“What…. What are,”
>”Aaaaah! Whoops! Here,” It ignites once more, taking the form of the blue pony once more. “Okay! Now can we be in love?”
“No! You’re a changeling!”
>”What?! Awwwwuh!” It changes again into its black form. “You know what I am?”
“Everyone knows of what happened to Canterlot!”
>You take a step back and place your hand on the knife again, but fear actually using it.
>”Canterlot? What’s that?”
“It’s… No. No! You can’t fool me!”
>You take a step back and drop your dried fruits.
“I-I’m warning you!”
>”Hey, guy! Calm down! I’m not going to hurt you!”
“No! You’re going to make me love you and… do things!”
>”No… I mean, yes! But… I’m sorry! I’m just hungry!”
“Oh god, you’re going to eat me?”
>”Stop jumping to conclusions!”
“No!”
>”Yes! If you just sit down and… talk with me, we can… we can work this out.”
“… No eating?”
>”Promise. No, double-promise.”

>>11518620
>Why did you do this? Somehow this little changeling girl has convinced you to sit down and talk about… something.
>But she isn’t talking. She’s just eating all of your dried fruits.
>After finishing one off, she lets out a loud belch.
>”Oops, sorry!”
“Can you stop eating all my food?”
>”B-but… I’m so hungry and… I-I’m sorry!”
“As long as you’re not eating me, I’m fine.”
>”I won’t eat… okay, lemme explain here. I don’t EAT ACTUAL FLESH!”
“… Right, it’s love, or something.”
>”Yes, or, kinda. It’s like… we become stronger from certain emotions creatures put off. Love is by far, the most nutritious.” She begins nibbling on another piece of dried fruit. “Makef uf feel goof.”
“And then you drain all life out of the pony?”
>”No!” She yanks the food out of her mouth. “They only feel a little tired and that’s if we’re taking a LOT out of them. Some changelings like to mind control a pony into loving them but… I… um, so yeah. They do that to make it easy.”
“And you don’t?”
>An enormous blush creeps across the changeling’s face.
>”S-shut up!”
“Whoooa. Sensitive subject?”
>”Nevermind!” She transforms into the blue pony again. “Besides, don’t you know it’s rude to ask a mare about her… um… dang. That could have been a good joke.” She then swallows the dried fruit whole. “Aah, using a pony’s body to eat this plant stuff is soooo much better!”
“… So what was all that back there?”
>”It was me trying to get some sweet lovin’.”

>>11518651
>No words. Because if you opened your mouth, you would laugh.
>”… Stop looking at me like that!”
“Stop… stop being… Oh god, I don’t know.”
>”So now that you know everything, can I have your love now?”
“Sure, it’s in a purple bottle inside my backpack.”
>”Is that where it is? Wow, thanks!”
>She transforms back into her normal self and scurries towards your backpack as you roll your eyes behind her back.
>After digging for a whole thirty seconds, she drops the backpack and glares at you.
>”You lied.”
“Yeah-huh.”
>”Why are you so mean to me?”
“The idea of freely giving out love, let alone in physical form, is really weird.”
>”Why?”
“It’s impossible.”
>”… O-oh…”
>She falls silent for a while. Finally.
>Too bad she has to talk again.
>”Sooo do you think we could try making love? It would be really yummy. I promise to share some!”
“That’s it, I’m going to bed.”
>”Yes!”

>>11518661
“Alone.”
>”… Nooo…”
>You push yourself up and walk towards the tent, the little changeling following you the entire way.
>”Aww c’mon, pleeease? We can find a way! I know we can.”
“Stop making this weirder.”
>You crawl into your tent, the little changeling flittering in behind you before you can close it.
>”No, I have a new plan. Listen, this is going to be great. Now,-”
“No.”
>You pick her up and set her outside. She begins to voice protests before, during, and after you zip the opening up and place the miniature padlock that comes with it on the zipper.
>”Noooo! You don’t understand! I’m desperate!”
>Your silence seems to drive her into hysterics.
>”F-fine! I don’t need your love! It smells rotten anyway! I’m leaving.” She fakes fading hoofsteps even though her silhouette is still visible. She’s silent for a while before the begging began.
>”Please. I-I can’t take it anymore. Just lie to me and tell me you love me. I can get off to the lie itself. Do this for me, oh please oh please just do this one thing for me.”

>The night was long and she never stopped. But eventually you drowned it out and managed to sleep.
>It was a rough morning, and that was just the waking up part.
>You emerge from the tent with a slight stumble.
>Much to your relief, there is no clingy changeling hanging around. Good riddance.
>Wanting to spend not a single extra second in this forest, you immediately pack up your tent, pour a little extra water on the smoldering fire pit, strap on your backpack, and head back to Ponyville.
>The hike back is quiet, much to your relief, and in seemingly not time, you arrive back to town.
>You pass many ponies on your way back, most giving friendly greetings or stopping you for a friendly conversation.

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>>11518371
>One of the few who can write Pinkie well
Huh, thanks.

>>11518672
>But you want to go home and get a couple extra hours of sleep. You keep those conversations short and speed walk home.
>As you enter your small home, you drop everything off down by the door and aim straight for your bedroom. Nope. Your couch catches you first and you collapse on it.
>Only a few moments later you fall asleep once again.

>>11518688
>”Heeeey.”
>A voice and a quick prodding on your nose stirs you from your sleep.
>”Come oooon. Please wake up.”
“Uuurnh…”
>”Hey. Hey!”
>Your eyes slowly open up, and two green orbs block your vision of anything else.
>”Are you awake now?”
“… Nnngh. Nooo. Go away.”
>”But you need to help me!”
“The door is over there.”
>You don’t actually point anywhere.
>”No! Not that! I need your help with the making love thing!”

>day you fucks need to stop shitposting even though this is just a greener shitpost
>you walk into le nature defying tree library
>"uuhh ohhh this is the noise you make when you master bait for awhile"
>you see purple horse
>"hello anon i am of estrus"
>mouth is of waterfall omg so hot
purple horse wat is that
>"anon i want to rape you"
>but you are of asexual genderqueer faggot#YOLO
>rape is bad
>le purple and smart horse rapes you
>"oh anon i am raping you it feels good"
no stop purple smart horse stop the rape
>"oh anon talk to me in one of your dirty human languages it turns me on"
purple horse stawwwp
>"uhh ohh anon you feel big like my brother"
>you might of start liking this
>NO STOP DAT BENIS YOU ARE OF FAGGED :DDD
purple smart horse stop no no no
nono
>"yes yes"
no
>"yes"
no
>"yes"
no
>"no"
yes
>fuck now you are of enjoy the rape
>"anon oh(squigglylinedenotingsensation) speak to me in your languages anon"
panzerkampfwagon
>"OHH ANON THAT IS OF MAKE ME TIGHTER LIKE SUPERVIRGIN HERO"
ein volk ein reich no auschwitz juden kristallnacht
>"I'M CUM"
>she is cum and gets super tight like supervirgin hero
purple horse i am of love you
>"green man i am of love you too"
>and then you fucked more in 20 different languages
>only euro ones though because KKK420xXwhiteprideXxSWAG

>Day 285 in Equestria
>”Sorry, Anon. We’re just not looking for someone with your, uh… skill set.”
>This sums up your daily routine quite well.
>Your freebies have run out, you need a job.
>Not true, you needed a job 3 months ago.
>It was when Twilight decided to kick you out of the Library, saying you were, “Too Big,” and, “Bothersome to those trying to read.”
>It was bullshit, you knew it, but it was also her home. You couldn’t refuse.
>Rarity was generous enough to take you in. In exchange for a small room and meals, she put you in charge of advertising for her store.
>It wasn’t easy, at first.
>But one evening about two months ago, a large family of Canterlot Unicorns visited Ponyville.
>You really couldn’t care less why they were here, you just wanted that sale.
>It took an entire evening of brown-nosing, human history lessons, and talking about things you never heard of but, when they asked that question…
>”Anon, I have to ask, where did you get that suit? It is simply wonderful.”
>You knew it was all worth it.
“Rarity’s Carousel Boutique!” You said, “We had some amazing fashionistas on Earth but they were nothing compared to the Mare here in Ponyville.”
>You thought you laid it on too thick but they took the bait anyway.
>You woke up the next morning to Rarity’s frantic cheers. The family placed an order for a dozen unique dresses the moment Rarity opened her doors for the day.
>But that wasn’t the goal. Not the final one, at least.

>>11518919
>Once they got back to Canterlot with their outfits, other ponies asked where they got them.
>That’s when Rarity’s business boomed.
>Since that sale, Rarity has not had a slow business day.
>Back to the present.
>Rarity doesn’t need you anymore, she didn’t say it but she’s backed up on orders until next year.
>You’re ready to move on anyway.
>But, finding a job is hard. Ponies around here weren’t interested in fancy resumes, just physical ability.
>”How many cakes can you put out in a day?”
>”How many Apples can you haul at once?”
>”Would you be able to deliver mail faster than a Pegasus?”
>Of course you can’t do any of those very well.
>But you’re not ready to give up quite yet.
>There’s always something new on the job board.
>The board was located in front of Sugarcube Corner, you suggested it one night to Pinkie Pie and it popped up the next morning.
>Now ponies all over Ponyville give into their sugary desires when taking a peek at the job board.
>It was especially crowded today. They all gathered around large, colorful poster.
>Employers don’t use tons of color. Employers use white paper, black text, and small words.
>Once you fought your way through the crowd, you found your job offers.
>”Need Pegasus for-“ Nope.
>”Unicorn needed-“ Nope.
>”Peg-“ Nope.
>”Opening in Ponyville Weather Cr-“ Nope.
>… Nothing.
>Ugh, now you’re jobless AND you have nothing to do for the rest of the day.
>Your thoughts are drowned out by the crowd next to you.
>They’re still gathered around the poster but not in an excited manner. You hear jeers, mocking laughter, and bad imitations.
>Your curiosity is piqued, you shuffle a little closer to the main attraction.
>’The Great and Powerful Trixie’s Return to Ponyville’
>A blue mare with a white-blue mane stood on its hind hooves. She wore a dorky purple wizard’s hat and matching cape.
>’Tonight! Town Square! See the New and Improved Mare of Magic!’

>>11518926
>A magic show? That’s… childish.
>But you haven’t really seen a Unicorn magic show. It’ll actually involve real magic as opposed to sleight of hand.
>And you honestly have nothing better to do.
>Yeah, it might be fun if you think about it.
>The Great and Powerful Trixie! You only hope she lives up to her name.

joojet pls

>>11518938
>You walk into Rarity’s Boutique, ready to retire for the night.
>The whole show was a disaster. Trixie may have been a huge bitch but no one deserves to be met with such… cruelty.
>”Daaarling, what were you doing out so late?”
>Great, you hoped Rarity would be asleep by now.
>Ever since you made Rarity the self-proclaimed, ‘Hottest Fashionista in Equestria,’ she has been acting as if she were your older sister.
>… Or a clingy girlfriend.
>You prefer to former.
“I went to that Trixie show thing.”
>Rarity bites her bottom lip to hold in a laugh, her eyes are watering. She looks like she’s about to burst.
>It takes a few seconds but she manages to calm herself down. Mostly.
>”I must admit, I’m shocked you were able to stay as long as you did. Aside from a few foals, nopony was impressed with her act last time she was here.”
“It was great for a while, at least. But it turned ugly after the crowd got bored.”
>”Tsk, you have to tell me all about it! I’ll put on a pot of tea and you can tell me everything.”
>You don’t find Rarity’s attitude towards situation very pleasant. She enjoys a little gossip just as much as the next pony but she may be getting a little too much pleasure from Trixie’s suffering.
>She leads you into the kitchen and you take a seat at the table.
>She takes the seat next to you and scoots a little closer.
>Her horn flares up with magic as a small teapot levitates to the sink.
>Once full, she then brings it to the stove, lights it, and places the lid over the top.
>”Okay, go!”

>>11518961
>You were in awe, you’ve grown used to magic but you’ve never seen it used like this before.
>You wanted to cheer, you really did, but you would be the only one.
>Everyp0ny, even the foals were dead silent. The fully grown equines only glared at her.
>She grimaces at this but regains her composure instantly.
>Trixie slowly descends onto the stage.
>”Greetings Everyp0ny! I, The Great and Powerful Trixie, returns to Ponyville once more! Better than ever!”
>Her voice had an attractive brattyness to it. Perfect for an entertainer but you imagine holding a conversation with her would be impossible to bear.
>This time you give her an enthusiastic applause. Other ponies join you with a light, reluctant clopping.
>”Thank you… !” The lack of excitement from the crowd, aside from you, is putting a dent in her spirits.
>”Now, without further ado… Ahem.” A small flame ignites itself on the tip of her horn.
>”Let the show…” The flame freezes. Whoa, iced fire.
>”Begin!” The frozen flame rockets off her horn. Whoa, flying iced fire.
>Once you lose vision of the frozen fire, it explodes. Raining bright embers and reflective snowflakes upon the crowd.
>WHOA.
>You applaud a>You were in awe, you’ve grown used to magic but you’ve never seen it used like this before.
>You wanted to cheer, you really did, but you would be the only one.
>Everyp0ny, even the foals were dead silent. The fully grown equines only glared at her.
>She grimaces at this but regains her composure instantly.
>Trixie slowly descends onto the stage.
>”Greetings Everyp0ny! I, The Great and Powerful Trixie, returns to Ponyville once more! Better than ever!”
>Her voice had an attractive brattyness to it. Perfect for an entertainer but you imagine holding a conversation with her would be impossible to bear.
>This time you give her an enthusiastic applause. Other ponies join you with a light, reluctant clopping.

>>11518991
>You applaud a>You were in awe, you’ve grown used to magic but you’ve never seen it used like this before.
Pfttt

>>11518991
>You applaud again. Some stallion actually shushes you. Rude!
>Trixie begins popping out magic like mad.
>Teleportation, more explosions, transformation, you name it. Everything you wanted to do if you became a Wizard, she did it.
>But the townsponies couldn’t stand her. Some booed and hissed; others just got up and walked off.
>And just like fireworks, her act fizzled out as well.
>Trixie started doing elementary magic.
>Making flowers appear out of thin air, pulling a rabbit out of her hat. This was getting embarrassing.
>More and more ponies were leaving.
>She’s had enough of it.
>”You there! Why do you leave? Do you honestly believe you’re better than The Great and Powerful Trixie?!”
>The Earth Pony she gestured to scoffed and continued walking away.
>Trixie started going insane, she screamed at every p0ny that was walking away.
>”YOU! AND YOU! GET BACK HERE AND SHOW ME WHAT MAKES YOU SO MUCH BETTER THAN ME! DON’T YOU LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT! I AM TRIXIE, THE MARE OF MAGIC!”
>A couple Stallions in front of you were snickering.
>”Hey Triiiixieee!”
>They toss a few bits onto the stage.
>”How about a real show, huh? Why don’t ‘cha take off that cape and show us that flank!”
>The remaining audience cheered at this. Bunch of assholes.
>Trixie’s face turned red.

>>11519015
>”Trixie would… Trixie would never... Aaaaaugh!”
>She collected the few bits and disappeared in a bright flash.
>”Aww, guess the show’s over.” You heard a mare say through a laugh.
>The few remaining ponies finally dispersed, leaving you alone with the empty stage.
>You sat there for a few minutes. You hoped Trixie would return with a marvelous fireworks show or something.
>But, nothing.
>You push yourself to your feet, it’s getting late.
>But you don’t want to face Rarity, she gets a little worrisome when you stay out past sunset.
>You decide to take the long way back to Rarity’s Boutique. You’d rather not face her bickering tonight.
***
“And that’s pretty much it.”
>Judging by the expression on Rarity’s face, she was amused by all this.
>”Serves her right after how she lied and belittled all of Ponyville.”
>She couldn’t have done anything all that bad, right?
“What did she do anyway?”
>”Oh she came into town, caused a little ruckus, lied to everyp0ny’s faces, and nearly destroyed the town.”
“Oh. Wait, what? How’d she almost destroy the town?”

>>11519029
>”Well I suppose it wasn't directly her fault. Trixie told everyp0ny she had vanquished an Ursa Major. Naturally, ponies were curious. A pair of colts went into the Everfree Forest one evening and managed to find one. Well, it was only an Ursa Minor but-“
“So it wasn’t her fault? Those little Colts did that!” You raised your voiced a little bit.
>Rarity recoils a little.
>You don’t normally become this aggravated about anything.
“Ugh.” You bring a hand to your forehead. “Sorry, it was just really messed up how they treated her. I guess it kinda got to me.”
>”Oooh~,” She lets out an excited squeal as she cuddles up to your side, “You’re just a gentlecolt with a heart of gold, aren’t you dear?”
>Yeah, clingy girlfriend was a lot more accurate than older sister.
>The two of you sat there for minutes, enjoying each other's touch.
>You have no romantic interest in ponies quite yet but you really do enjoy Rarity’s embrace. Let’s face it, you’re lonely. You’ve been through the, ‘Last of my species’ phase already. Isolation, anger, depression, suicidal thoughts. Hah, that was a fun week.
>Now it’s just… whatever. It is what it is.
>But it still bothers you, being alone. Rarity helps but the thought still makes you restless.
“I’m go-“
>”Anonymous, I-“
>Rarity gives you and apprehensive look.
>”Uh, you first.” Now she’s blushing a little.
“Um… I’m going for a walk”
>”Oh, don’t you think it’s a little late for that? You’ll catch a cold or-“
“Rarity, I’ll be fine. What was it you wanted to say?”
>”N-nothing, dear. Just… ” She lowers her head. “Remember to bundle up.”
“Alright, thanks.”

>>11519034
>You get up to leave. Rarity is upset about something.
>Ugh, why are you pretending you don’t know exactly what it is?
>You’re convinced your problems are so much more important than hers though.
>You grab your coat hanging from the coat rack by the front door.
>You stop yourself just before exiting the building.
“Are you sure there’s nothing you’d like to talk about?” You call out.
>She gives you a dismissive wave as she gets off her seat.
>You swear you can hear the clinking of glass as you close the door behind you.
“Fuck, it is cold.” You slip on your coat and walk towards the town square for the second time today.
>The walk is quiet. Peaceful. The streetlamps lit what Luna’s moon didn’t.
>You arrive at your destination and, to your disappointment, Trixie’s stagewagon thing has disappeared.
>You suddenly have no idea why you were out here. You’re tired, cold, and a little hungry.
>You turn around to go back to the Boutique.
>Yelling. You hear some slurred yelling off in the distance.
>Ah, Berry Punch must be at it again. It’s nothing new.
>So why are you following the yell- No, singing.
>Yes, that is definitely singing.
>And it’s coming from the Ponyville General store.
>You round a corner and you see her. The Great and Powerful Trixie, drunk off her ass in the middle of the street.
>And singing.
>Horribly.

>>11519043
>“Cigarette ashes buuuuurn reds!”
>“And they… fall like snow fall!”
>This is… horrible. You should just go.
>”Hey! Hey hey ‘ey! Who’s there? “
>Uh oh.
>”You tha’ ugly stallion from… from before?”
Uhhh…
>She approaches you, a bottle of ‘Boer’s Brand Brandy’ is orbiting around her.
>”You s-said you wanted a show? Trixie can give ya more than thats for 30 b-“
>She’s finally close enough to get a good look at you. How you were mistaken for a horse is baffling.
>”What… You’re that… Humen thing, right?”
“Human. And, yeah.”
>”Whatever, you were at her show today, right? Yeah you were absolutely there!” She takes a big swig of Brandy.
>”So what are you doing here? You wanna laugh at me? Or call me a slut? Well buck you, Trixie is a virgin!”
>What, whoa. You rarely hear ponies swear and you NEVER hear them talk about… that.
>And didn't she JUST offer... never mind.
“Hey, I only came over because I heard singing and I was curious.”
>”Phbbbt, Trixie thinks you're lying!”
>An awkward silence, at least for you, followed. You try to strike up a conversation.
“So, I really liked your show…”
>”You did!? Uh, everyp0ny does. Today was just… just a fluke.”
>She looks at you quizzically.
>”Yeah… Now Trixie remembers you! Trixie was gonna quit her show way earlier but she saw you and you were having fun and my mom once told me something do you want to hear it?”
“Sure.”

>>11519060
>”… Trixie forgots.”
>She looks at you, all over you.
>”So what’s it like being an…”
“An alien?” Ugh, she HAD to talk about this?
>”No! Um… I, or uh, Trixe mean yes. Haha, it must be terrible. It must suck soooooo terrible.”
“It does but it's something I've leaned to deal with."
>"Oh yeah!"
>She's loud enough to take up the entire neighborhood.
>"Trixie's mom told her that if an entertainer could put a smile on just one pony's face then it all becomes worthwhile."
"Your mother sounds very sm-"
>"Too bad Trixie only got the human to smile!"
>She takes another big swig of brandy.
>She loses her balance. You try to catch her but she's falling in the opposite direction.
>She hits the ground with an audible SMACK, the bottle of brandy shortly follows and shatters against the road.
>Trixie lets out an annoyed groan.
>You help her steady herself as she tries to get to get hooves.
>You squat down to her eyelevel.
"Do you need help getting to your wagon?"
>"No..."
>You release you grip on her body, she immediately beings to tip over.
>You catch her before she can fall again.
>"Maybe a little."
"Where is it?"
>"Juts outside of town, you can't miss it."

>>11519074
>”Yes! Thas it!”
>Finally! After being led to the wrong part of, ‘Just outside of town.’ three times in a row, you have found Trixie’s wagon.
>Trixie’s sense of direction was non-existent at the moment.
>The wagon is, well, big! If she didn’t have to fit an entire stage in there, you’d say it’s too big.
>Through the dark, you also discern that the wagon looks rather… girly? Accurate descriptions become difficult late at night.
>”This!” You stop Trixie from falling once again. You’ve lost count of how many times you’ve done it.
>”Is Trixie’s not-so-hubble abode.”
“Huh. I never pictured you as a travelling Gypsy.”
>”A what?”
>Or right, not Earth.
“Nevermind, can you handle yourself from here?”
>”Yes… Yes I think I got it.”
>You remove your hand from her back. She stumbles forward, she even nearly falls a few times, but she makes it to the step ladder.
>She hops up the step ladder with surprising grace and opens the door to the wagon.
>Great! You have successfully helped a drunken, depressed Pony get home before she did something she would regret. There’s your good deed for the week.
>You turn back-
>”Where ARE you goin’?”
>You about-face to see Trixie standing at the entryway.
“Uh… Home?”
>She doesn’t look disappointed. She doesn’t look wanting.
>Just confused.
>”You’re not gonna invite yourself in like AAAALLLLLLL the other ‘Gentlecolts’?” There’s an edge in her voice.
“Nope! Even if I were physically attracted to ponies, I wouldn’t take advantage of one in your position.”
>Manners, manners, manners! You thought your parents taught you how to treat a lady well enough. Rarity said otherwise.
>Trixie doesn’t look satisfied with that answer.
>”Come see me tomorrow.” She says flatly before slamming the door shut.
>Uh. Okay.

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>>11519087
>You make your way back to the Boutique, your path illuminated by Luna’s moon.
>The bite of a cold evening began to sink in and the prospect of sleep in a warm bed quickly became the only thing on your mind.
>Yes! There’s the Boutique. Bed. Sleep. Door. Open. Rest. Warm. “Anonymous?”
>Wait, what?
>”Anonymous, is that you?” Oh yes, Rarity must still be awake.
>Her voice is coming from the kitchen.
“Uh, yeah.”
>”Could you come in here, dear? We need to discuss something.”
>You follow her voice into the kitchen. Rarity sits at the same spot at the table she occupied before you left.
>A bottle of Red Wine and two wine glasses are laid out in front of her.
>”Please, sit.”
>You oblige.
>She magically pours herself a glass of wine.
>”Would you like a glass?”
>If she’s about to say what you think she’s about to say, then you’re going to need a lot of glasses of wine.
”Yes, please.”
>She proceeds to pour you a glass as well then levitates it into your hand.
>”Anonymous, how long has it been since I took you in?”
“About three months ago.”
>”Ah, yes. And they have been a wonderful three months, have they not?”
>You take a sip of wine. Okay, maybe like three sips.
>”I gave you one small task and you turn me into The Hottest Fashionista in all of Equestria.”
>She really likes that title. You take another sip of wine.
>”Since then, I’ve been busy. Too busy! But, I love what I do and I can’t think of anything else that would make me happier… Except one thing.”
>You polish off your wine. You want to ask for more.
>”You see, Anonymous, I’ve always been one for meritorious romance but I’ve… never had a special somepony of my own. I kept myself busy with my work, hoping the right stallion would come to find me.”

>>11519104
>Forget manners, you pour yourself another drink.
>”So that’s why I need to ask you…”
>Please don’t say it. Rarity, for the love of god, please don’t say what you’re about to say.
>”To relocate, or, um, move out.”
>You spit out your wine.

>>11519117
“W-what!”
>”I’m sorry, Anonymous! It’s not easy meeting stallions with one such as you occupying my home.”
“No, it’s just,” You let out a sigh of… you don’t know. It’s a mix of relief and disappointment. And you chuckle a bit.
“I thought you had feelings for me and… haha, oh wow.”
>”Oh. Oh!” She gives a little titter. “I’m sorry if I gave you the impression-“
“You did! Or, I thought you did! It’s all rather hilarious, now that I look back on it.”
>”My apologies, darling. That was never my intention.”
“Don’t worry about it, I’m the one who misread you. I tend to forget you are naturally affectionate towards everyone.”
>”But how can I not show a little more affection to the Gentlecolt who made me a huge success?” She snuggles up against your side for the second time tonight.
>The two of you sit in a comfortable silence for a moment. Rarity is just a friend, a good friend.
>Then her words sink it.
>You feel slightly nauseous.
>You feel a heavy sensation in your gut.
>You’ve just been evicted.
“Rarity?”
>”Yes?”
“Where am I supposed to go?”
>You pull away from her.
>”I’m not asking you to move out immediately, my dear. I would never kick you out onto the street without a place to call your own!”
>That makes you feel a little better. Only a little.
“I think I ought to go to bed.”
>”Yes, yes it’s getting late. I shall do the same.” Rarity releases her grip on you and gets off her seat. “Good night, Anonymous.”
”Good night, Rarity.”

>>11519125
>You grab your jacket, say, “Good morning!” to Rarity and Sweetie Bell, and rush out of the boutique.
>Not only do you have a meeting with the Mare of Magic, but now you’re more determined than ever to find work.
>You’re not sure when Trixie wanted you to arrive at her wagon but she surely wouldn’t mind being woken up at an early hour, would she?
>You make a quick stop at the Apple Family’s Apple stall for a small breakfast and…
>”Sorry, Mr. Anonymous! Winter is comin’ and AJ says we can’t hire no more ponies right now!” Applebloom says with a frown.
>Eh, it was worth a shot.
>You end up buying an Apple Pie. So much for a small breakfast. Healthy? Forget about it!
>You then head over to Trixie’s wagon, stopped a few times by passing friendly ponies. They were after a piece of your pie and you KNOW it.
>After a refreshing walk and some masterful pie-thief evasion, you come to Trixie’s wagon.
>The golden metal trim and the magenta paint job certainly scream, “Look at me, look at me!” It fits Trixie, even if it doesn’t match her colors.
>You only need to take one step on the step ladder before you’re just as tall as the door.
>You give it three loud knocks. A loud, overdramatic groan responds.
>”Be patient!” Trixie’s voice commanded from inside the wagon.
>You only knocked for, like, a second!
>The sound of a few things begin turned over, a little magical chime, most likely from Trixie, and the stomping of hooves are heard.
>Then the door finally opens. Trixie stands eye level with you.
>Hastily combed hair, wrinkled cape, ice pack badly hidden under wizard hat. Yeah, she’s feeling the repercussions of last night’s shenanigans.
>She glares are you with an expecting expression.
>”Well?”
>What? You came here per her request! Augh! Just… Just chill.

>>11519140
“Uh, you told me to come over.”
>Her expression doesn’t change. Okay, maybe she’s getting more annoyed.
“I, ummm, brought breakfast?”
>It takes a few seconds but she steals the pie from your hands and retreats back into her wagon. You assume the open door is an invitation.
>You have to crouch to get through the doorway but… whoa.
>Whoa!
>This is as large as an entire living room! There is no way you’re still inside the wagon. This is Narnia Closet-esque.
“Where are we?”
>”Ugh, sit”
>You tear your eyes away from the ceiling above you. The walls of the… wagon room were covered in shelves, cabinets, cupboards, you name it. Each held an assortment of snowglobes, magical baubles, cheap-looking wands, all sorts of oddities.
>This whole place gave a bit of a ‘Harry Potter’ vibe. Appropriate, given its occupant.
>You then bring your eyes to Trixie, she’s slumped over a table, hooves over her head, with utensils floating about her.
>You sit across from her; a small teacup shakily floats over to you. You grab it in midair before something happens.
>Actually, all the things Trixie was levitating were shaking. Note to self: hangovers are a Unicorn’s weakness.
“You want me to take care of that?” You reach for the pie knife but Trixie magically tosses it two feet to your left.
>You’re already regretting this visit.
>”Auugh, just… let Trixie have her drink.” On cue, a teapot on the stove behind you began to whistle.
>Everything else she was keeping afloat drops as the pot flies past your head to Trixie and tips itself into her cup.

>>11519147
>Trixie wastes no time as she just throws the liquid down her throat.
>She her entire body goes ridged before going into some sort of seizure.
>Trixie’s face turns neon blue, no, green? Uh, redFUCK DID SHE JUST BREATHE FIRE?
>She goes through the rest of the color spectrum before she deflates with a relieved sigh.
“What just happened? Are you okay?”
>She scoffs at your ignorance.
>”Do you honestly not know what Rainbow is?”
>Yup, Trixie is back to her good ol’ self.
>”Nevermind. Would you like a slice?” She gestures to the Apple Pie.
>Yes. You would love a slice of the pie you bought.
>”Yes, please.”
>With a flurry of magic and utensils, A small slice of pie is served onto your plate. Trixie serves herself a much bigger one.
“Trixie?”
>”Mhm?”
“Is there a reason you asked me to come here this morning?”
>”Trixie would prefer to wait to explain that.”
“Very well. So, Trixie…” You engage her in small talk. She’s reluctant to talk about herself but the dam breaks when you ask about the wagon and the various artifacts within it.
>Most of it sounds like horseshit though.
>”Yes! Even Prince Blueblood was enamored with Trixie! So much, that he gave up his crown just to earn her favor!”
“Uh-huh.” The third person talk is waning on your patience.
>”To this day, the crown that sits on his head is a fake!”
“Neat.” No it isn’t.
>Trixie quietly grunts at your lack of interest.
>”So, human-“
“Anonymous.”
>”Tell Trixie about yourself.” She’s already lost interest. If nobody is talking about her, she has no reason to pay attention.
>Whatever.

>>11519159
“Aside from the fact that I’m an alien species, there’s not much to say. My life before I came here was rather uneventful. My time in Equestria consists of being Twilight Sparkle’s little expe-“
>”Who?” Oh, NOW you have her attention.
“Twilight Sparkle? She’s Princess Celestia’s star pupil and was the pony in charge of studying me when I first came here.”
>”Ugh, continue.”
>You ramble on about how Twilight violated your personal bubble too many times, meeting the princesses, Trixie liked that one, your integration into pony society, getting kicked out, moving into…
>”Rarity? YOU live the THE Rarity?”
“Marshmallow coat, squiggly tail, dress maker, Element of Generosity. One and the same.”
>”Amazing! Trixie had no idea you would be so… connected! O-of course, not as much as her! Did Trixie tell you about how Prince Blueblood is completely in love with Trixie?”
“Yes, you did.”
>Oh. She’s telling it again anyway.
>You ignore her this time. You need to finish this pie, anyway.
>You take a bite, damn this is good pie.
>You take another bite.
>Then another.
>Dang it’s all gone.
>You reach f-Hey! Did Trixie seriously eat the rest of the pie?
>”Anonymous? Are you paying attention to Trixie?”
“Huh?”
>”Trixie asked you a question, answer it!”
“Uh, no. Sorry, I wasn’t paying attention.”
>”No! Not that… ugh.” She facehooves.”Trixie asked how much weight your word carries around here.”
“Excuse me?”
>”How influential are you? Do these ponies fear you enough to follow your every whim? Do they trust you? Anything.”
“Oh, I dunno. I guess most of them trust me by now.”
>”Ugh, that will have to do.” She beckons you to get closer. You comply.
>”Trixie has a plan and she’s going to need your help.”
>You’re getting really fucking tired of this third person speak.

>>11519170
>You sit at a small round table just outside a diner. The tables are built for ponies to sit on a pillow while eating. You do the flattest criss-cross-applesauce you’ve ever done to squeeze your legs under it.
>Rainbow Dash sits next to you, sipping down on a hayshake.
>And… you’re trying to convince her to see Trixie’s show tonight.
>This is a terrible idea. Why are you doing this?
>”… And last night I just kinda chilled at home, did a little bit of reading. Nothing exciting. What about you?”
>It’s slow, ineffective, and a waste of your time.
“This week has been pretty boring so far. I saw that Trixie show last night, though. It was pretty cool, I guess.”
>Rainbow Dash pounds the table and bites her hoof to suppress a laugh.
>”You… pffft, saw Trixie’s show?”
“Yeah, what of it?”
>”I heard she toooootally flipped out and tried challenging the audience again! Is it true?!”
“Yeah, she did.”
>You’re supposed to be helping her but you’re not going to lie to your bro.
>Or anyone else…
>You’re pretty sure no one is going to show up for Trixie’s second performance.
>Rainbow Dash adopts a smug look.
>”Can’t say I’m surprised, she did the same thing the last time she was here.”
“Yeah, Rarity gave me some rough details on what happened. Last night seemed different until the audience started disrespecting her. She flipped her shit after that.”

>>11519190
>”Eh, serves her right.”
>You have to bite your lip to shut yourself up. Arguing with Rainbow Dash is like arguing with a brick wall.
“Look, Dash, can you just come to the performance?”
>She gives you skeptical look, you gotta say something more convincing.
“… For me?”
>WOW. NO. WRONG THING TO SAY.
>Rainbow Dash doesn’t bother to hold back her laugher this time.
>It takes her a good 30 seconds to calm down enough to talk.
>”You… You make it sound like you have a crush on me or somethin’!”
>You can’t roll your eyes harder. Rainbow Dash picks up on this is starts another fit of laughter.
>”OR maybe it’s Trixie!” Your heart skips a beat. The image of you and Trixie in a relationship is horrifying, to say the least.
>“Yeah! I bet that’s it! You totally like her!”
“Dash, I’m just trying to help her out. You didn’t see the way everyone treated her last night! It was pretty fucked up.”
>She wasn’t paying attention, her only purpose in life right now is to mock you.
>”Anon and Trixie sittin’ in a tree! K-I-S-S-I-“
>”Excuse me?”
>Both you and Rainbow Dash nearly jump out your skin when you hear that bratty voice.
>Trixie, currently hatless and capeless, snuck up on the two of you as Rainbow Dash spieled on about her trivial ass drippings.
>Rainbow then elbows your arm while sniggering.
>”Your… maaaaaaaarefriend is he-ZIIIIP”
>Trixie’s magic created a cartoony zipper on Rainbow Dash’s mouth and zipped it shut.
>Holy shit that’s fucking classic, you can’t not laugh.
>Rainbow Dash shoots you a glare, someone doesn’t have a sense of humor! You turn to Trixie hoping to share your joy of this funny situ-nope she’s glaring at you too.
>”What are you doing?!”

>>11519210
”Doing what you asked me to do.”
>”Trixie never told you to waste time pointlessly gossiping with low-class weather Pegasus.”
>You ignore Rainbow Dash’s angry grunt.
“I was trying to get her to go but-“
> Rainbow Dash shoves your shoulder and gives you an, ‘Are you serious?’ look.
>”Well, it’s obviously not working so cease these shenanigans and get back to it!”
>What?! Who the fuck does she think she is? She has no right to order you around like that!
“Okay…”
>Trixie takes her leave without another word, but not before stealing the rest of Rainbow Dash’s hayshake
>She’s is trembling with rage at this point.
“Dash, are you okay?”
>She reacts in a series of grunts, flailing arms, and jabs to your chest.
>You’re having trouble not laughing at her frustration.
>This goes on for about 5 minutes before a familiar purple unicorn finds the two of you.
>”Hello, Anon! And… Rainbow Dash, what happened?”
>Rainbow Dash stares daggers at Twilight.
>”Uhh… That looks like a silencing spell. Let me just…”
>With a quick white flash from Twilight’s horn, the comical zipper over Rainbow Dash’s mouth was gone.
>With her ability to speak revived, Rainbow Dash turns to you and…
>Slaps you across the face! Well, Pegasi are light framed creatures so it was more of a POMF.
>”Dude! What the buck is wrong with you!”

>>11519216
>”Rainbow Daaash, watch the language.”
>God damn, Twilight. You’re pretty cool but there’s no need to be such a filly scout.
>”No, Twilight! You didn’t see what that bucking mule did to me! And you sure as Tartarus didn’t see her treating Anon like a doormat!”
>”Who?”
“Trixie.”
>”Trixie?!”
>”Trixie! And you!” Rainbow Dash jabs another hoof into your ribcage.
>”You just sat there and took it! So, what, you two buckin’ now or something?”
“No!”
>Oh dear god no! Even if you were a horsefucker, Trixie would not be your first pick. In fact, she would lie somewhere between ‘Last Mare in Equestria’ and ‘Last Living Being in the Galaxy.’
>Probably closer to the latter.
>”Then why are you letting her push you around like that, huh?!”
“I’m just trying to help her out. You two didn’t see how awful ponies were to her, last night.”
>”You didn’t see how awful she was to us, Anon.” Twilight speaks up.
“Yeah but I heard about it. So what, she was a bit of showoff. The Ursa Minor incident wasn’t directly her fault, either.”
>”Yes, it was. Because of her actions, she put the whole town in serious danger. And she didn’t just showoff, she publicly humiliated Applejack, Rarity, and Rainbow Dash as well.”
>Your heart sinks a little with this new information. Rainbow Dash doesn’t take to well humiliation, which would explain her attitude. Applejack; you liked Applejack. She’s a sweet mare. Yeah, she may have a minor human fetish, and, yeeeaaah, she may have made your first few months in Equestria extremely awkward but you still like her.

I want to cum inside Gagdebt

>>11519239
>Rarity is what really hits home. She sheltered you in your time of need, gave you work, and kept you well fed. You have nothing but respect for her.
>But, didn’t she just evict you?
>Shut up, it was just a heads-up kind of thing. It’s about time you found a place of your own, anyway.
“Fine, I’ll stop helping her. She doesn’t deserve any, if you’re telling the truth.”
>”Atta colt,” Rainbow Dash lowers her voice. “So what’s the plan?”
“Plan?”
>”Yeah, we need to get her good.”
“I don’t know… Shouldn’t we just be the better people and ignore her?”
>”Rainbow Dash is right Anon. Ponyville has made it clear that we don’t want Trixie here but she came back anyway. We need to take her down a notch. She needs to know that she ISN’T the Great and Powerful.”
>”Yeah, what Twilight said. So are you game?”
>…
>Sigh.
“Yeah, I’m game.”
>”Yes!”
>Rainbow Dash holds up a hoof.
>You bump it.
>Awwwww yeah.
>”… So...”
>”Don’t worry about it, Rainbow Dash. I know exactly what we’re going to do. You two get everyp0ny you can to the show. I’m going to get warmed up!”
>Twilight turns away but cocks her head towards the two of you.
>”Warmed up for what?”
>”The Element of Magic needs to be ready for her big show!”
>She does an excellent Trixie impression.

>>11519262
“How did you do this?”
>You point to the huge crowd in front of you. There must be over 150 here. They’re all gathered around the stage that somehow snuck its way into the same spot it occupied last night.
>”I only just told them it would be as cool as me.” Rainbow Dash boasts.
“Seriously?”
>”Mmmm… Yep!”
>”Anon! RD! Over here!” An orange, waving hoof sticks out of the crowd. How Applejack saw the two of you is a mystery.
>You squeeze through several ponies to finally get to her. Dash uses her FUCKING WINGS to cheat and fly over the crowd.
>”The two of ya excited ta see Trixie get what’s commin’ ta her?”
>You too, Applejack?
>You thought she would be a little different. Then again, she was one of the few who Trixie embarrassed.
>It still left a sour taste in your mouth.
>As the sun sets over the horizon, the crowd gets more anxious.
>This isn’t like yesterday, ponies actually WANTED to see Trixie preform.
>Damn, Dash. Good job.
>As the last sliver of Celestia’s sun fades, fireworks appears on the stage.
>In fact, it was the same fireworks at last night’s show.
>The crowd didn’t seem to care. Neither did you, this shit was fucking amazing.
>You and Rainbow Dash cheered and applauded, Applejack just gave the two of you a stern look.
>”Heh, just playing along, you know?”
>You weren’t, you don’t care who’s show it is. You love fireworks. Everyone loves fireworks!
>Trixie makes… the same exact entrance she did last night.
>Her show starts the same way.
>It continues the same way.
>The crowd was loving it.
>>11519252
Thanks, babe. Get me to cum as well and you can keep the condom as a souvenir.

>>11519274
>To your surprise, it ends in a bang. Unlike last night’s whimper.
>You’re still rather disappointed on the lack of new tricks, though.
>”Thank you, thank you!” Trixie called as several bits flew on stage. Holy shit, is this what a good show is like?
>As the crowd settles down, Trixie prepares a little speech.
>”Citizens of Ponyville! Trixie wishes to thank you once more! She understands her first visit was… Inappropriate!”
>Oh shit, is she apologizing?
“Dash, we gotta call this off.”
>”What do you mean?”
“Do you hear what she’s saying? She’s trying to redeem herself!”
>”Eh, I’m sure she’ll start messing up soon.”
>Trixie continues her speech.
>”And even though Trixie made a fool of herself once more last night, you gave her once more chance this evening! Trixie only hopes-“
>”Not so fast, Trixie!”
>Twilight’s voice echoes loudly through town square.
>With a magical pop, Twilight appears on-stage.
>She’s wearing the Element of Magic tiara.
>”We’ve had it with your show boating! It’s time you left Ponyville!”
>”Whatever do you mean? Trixie wasn’t showboating! She put on a wonderful performance for her loving fans! Isn’t that right?”

>>11519274
>Thanks, babe. Get me to cum as well and you can keep the condom as a souvenir.
Gadget has become the Trixie

ALL HAIL TRIGON

>>11519286
>More cheering from the crowd. More bits thrown on stage.
>”No, Trixie, don’t try to get out of this one! I’m here to do what I should have done the last time!”
>Mummers form the crowd, both of disapproval and encouragement.
>Trixie only titters.
>”And what is that, exactly?”
>”To put you in your place!”
>The crowd dramatically gasps!
>”Hmph, very well…”
>She removes her hat with her hoof, levitates all the bits onstage into her hat, nearly filling it up, and places the hat back on her head. You don’t know how that worked. Magic? Probably.
>”Make your move, Twilight Sparkle.”

>>11519299
>You remember this movie.
>The antagonist has just made his last move.
>Then the protagonist appears heroically from the right.
>He approaches the villain.
>And says under his breath,
>”It’s on.”
>The stage lights up.
>The crowd goes wild.
>This is truly the rap battle of the century.
>The antagonist, so cocky in his abilities, gives the protagonist the first go at it.
>Yes, you remember this movie.
>Except it has less inner city parentless black children whose brother died earlier in the movie.
>And more magical mares.
>There are no beats to drop.
>Both contenders probably had privileged childhoods.
>If it weren’t for magic, this shit would be boring.
>Twilight accepts Trixie’s offer of first trick.
>”First, I’ll need a volunteer!”
>Several hooves shoot up across the audience.
>Twilight magically pulls the largest Stallion, Big Mac, out of the crowd and onto the stage.
>”Now, watch as I make Big Mac,” A large crimson cloth appears from nowhere. “Disappear!”
>The crowd gives a half-hearted cheer. Disappearing have always been lame, Earth or Equestria. No exceptions.
>Twilight UNEXPECTEDLY throws the cloth over Big Mac. What’s going to happen next?!
>Apparently Trixie is having issues with keeping in her laugher, as well.
>”Fillies and Gentlecolts, please join me in the countdown!”
>”Three!” Only half of the crowd chants with her.
>”Two…”
>”One!”

>>11519375
>Twilight pulls the cloth off Big Mac.
>And he isn’t there!
>!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>Who could have guessed? Not you!
>”Hmmmmm! Where could have gone?!” Twilight is a terrible actor.
>Big Mac’s deep voice echoes throughout the crowd, “Here I am! Over here!”
>The crowd turns their heads to where the spot is coming from.
>Big Mac is now in the same spot he was 5 minutes before.
>It was met with small applause.
>You, Rainbow Dash, and Applejack joined in the applause, albeit reluctantly. Twilight is much better than this.
>”Yeah, dude, that stunk.”
“Mmmhm.”
>”Maybe she’s jus’ gettin’ warmed up?”
“Maybe. Twilight doesn’t know how to perform so she might think the ‘Start small, end big.’ Tactic would work.”
>”Yeah, you’re supposed to start big then end bigger! Someone should go tell her. Anon?”
“Fuckin’… you have wings, you-“
>”Shh! Show’s startin’ back up.”
>As the light applause dies down, Trixie takes her turn to speak.
>”Ooh, Twilight. That’d be a cute little trick at a foal’s first birthday party.”
>Zing!
>A pony sized blue box magically appears next to Trixie. Her cutie mark is painted on the side.
>”And are we starting off with rookie volunteer-required magic? Very well.”
>Trixie glances over the crowd. A small smirk appears on her face as her eyes meet yours.
>Oh no. This iggggggggggggggggggffffffFFFFFFFFFNNNNNNAAAAAAAAAAAAA
>AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
>YOU HEAR A LOUD POP AS YOU FALL ON YOUR ASS.
>WHAT JUST HAPPENED?
>WHY ARE YOU ON THE STAGE NEXT TO TRIXIE?

>>11519385
>”Volunteer! Trixie requires you to put your head into the box!”
>Okay you’re still kinda panicking!
>Were you teleported?! Yeah, that seems about right!
>You look to Twillight for help. She has a look of betrayal on her face.
>Reasonable enough.
>”Ahem.”
>Oh, right!
“Sorry.” You say weakly. You’re still shaken up about being teleported without warning.
>You get to your knees and lean your head over the box.
>Trixie takes her wizard cap off her head with her hoof. You still have no idea how that works.
>Trixie starts talking to Twilight, making sure to keep voice low enough so the crowd doesn’t hear.
>”You know, Twilight, that little trick of yours wasn’t half bad.”
>A few sparks of magic jumps form Trixie’s horn. Her hat and the box you’re leaning into give off a very subtle blue glow.
>”Trixie appreciates the classics. And the way you teleported your assistant without noise? That’s not an easy thing to do.”
>Trixie shoves her other forehoof into her hat.
>You feel… funny.
>”It’s a little nostalgic, actually…” Trixie sneers at Twilight. “It WAS Trixie’s first spell, after all.”
>You feel a strong sucking sensation on your head.
>The box draws you in.
>Everything goes blue.
>You then feel a hoof on your head.
>It SOMEHOW grabs your hair and yanks you upward.
>Before you figure out what the FUCK is going on, you’re looking straight into Trixie’s eyes.
>You hear the crowd behind you laughing and applauding.
>Trixie… turns you head towards the audience.
>ohfuckohfuckohfuckohfuckOHFUCKOHFUCKOHFUCKOHFUCKOHFUCK
>WHY IS YOUR BODY RIGHT THERE, STILL STICKING IT’S HEAD IN THE BLUE BOX?!

File: 1371714734156.gif-(988 KB, 500x322, Hank Hill.gif)

988 KB GIF

>>11519397
>THIS IS NOT COOL THIS IS UNCOUTH THIS IS UNFUCKINGCOUTH
>DAMNIT RARITY, YOU CAN’T GET THAT WORD OUT OF YOUR HEAD
>TRIXIE TIPS THE HAT OVER. YOU’RE GOING TO BE SICK!
>SHE EVEN STARTS SHAKING IT A BIT!
”TrixieTrixieTrixieTrixieTrixie! Stop!”
>She ignores you.
>The feeling of gravity pulling you in multiple directions is blowing your mind in the worst possible way.
>Wait.
>You can feel the lower half of your body.
>Maybe if you just…
>”Push yourself through, already!” Trixie says under her breath.
>… You were about to do that.
>You attempt to move your body. It only twitches a bit.
>Your body feels a little… detached. Not just literally.
>You try again, it’s responding. It feels awkward but you can do this.
>You use your legs to push you through the box.
>Trixie’s hat stretches to silly widths as you slide out and land directly on your face.
>The crowd is dying of laughter.
>And despite your inevitable nightmares… you laughed too. Probably because you landed on your face.
>Trixie then holds her hat over her shoulder like it’s a rocket launcher and aims it at Twilight.
>You don’t notice the blue box levitating over your head.
>It slams down on the stage around your body.
>Your body goes from 0 to 40 within a second. The pain is brief but intense.
>You also notice the gravity shift. Yep, she used that darn Portal magic on you again.
>You crash into something, you’re moving too fast to figure out what it is.

>>11519417
>With a hard thud, you and the unknown object land… somewhere.
>You’re not onstage anymore. The lights coming from it have faded.
>”UGH! I can’t believe she did that!” Oh hey it’s Twilight.
>”Where’s my stupid Tiara…” You hear rustling around you. You suspect Twilight is looking for her stupid Tiara.
>”Aha! Found it! Come on, Anon! We’re going to show her a thing or two about magic.”
>You try to say ‘No’ but you only manage a pained grunt.
>”Ugh, fine. It’s not like you were being useful anyway.”
>Fuck you, Twilight Sparkle.
>You hear Twilight teleport away while you lie there on your back and enjoy the silence.
>No, wait, you’re starting to gain some feeling back. There’s pain and lots of it.
>Fuuuuuuuuuuuun.
>You continue to lay down and listen to the show. The two go turn-by-turn.
>Trixie is winning the favor of the townsponies.
>After what feels like an hour, you attempt to move once more.
>The pain isn’t nearly as bad as you previously thought. It must have been your overdramatic side screaming in pain.
>You’re still going to want to get yourself checked out.
>You slowly get to your feet and begin to walk back towards the crowd.
>You return to find both Trixie and Twilight have stopped doing magic altogether and started arguing, standing a few feet apart from each other and nearly growling.
>”Trixie HAS been trying to make up for her past mistakes!”
>”No you haven’t! You just opened your wagon and put on a magic show! That’s not apologizing!”
>”Yes but Trixie has changed!” Trixie spots you just outside the large crowd.
>Ugh, why you?
>Whatever. Bracing for teleport.

>>11519425
>Surprisingly enough, being prepared for a teleport makes it hardly noticeable.
>Aside from the bright light and instant scenery change, of course.
>”Anonymous can vouch for Trixie! He knows she has changed!” Oh, NOW Trixie knows your name.
“I don’t know what you were like bef-“
>”No, Anon knows how much of a… MULE you’ve been to everyp0ny!”
>The crowd gasps. Trixie looks horrified by Twilight’s remark.
>Okay, come on. Mules are sentient beings. Some are actually pretty cool, too.
>”How dare you insult Trixie so! You may have been a passive little the Filly last time we met but I can see you were just hiding your own… Mule-ish attitude!”
>The crowd gasps again! Seriously, what the fuck? Since when was it, ‘Love and Tolerate everyp0ny. Except Mules, Fuck those dudes.’
>Twilight audibly growls andMAGICALLYPUSHESYOUINTOTRIXIEANDYOUFALLONYOURASS
>ARE YOU MAD?
>YES
>YES
>CHOOSE BOTH
“Twilight, what the hell?!”
>Trixie pushes you into Twilight before you can get an answer.
>Then Twilight FUCKING THROWS you on top of Trixie.
>Trixie howls in anger. Twilight imitates her and begins to charge.
>You feel magic grasp you once again as Trixie swings you around as a weapon.
>You’re now too sick to be mad.
>The situation also feels a little ironic for some reason.
>You collide with Twilight’s ribcage and the two of you go flying. Again.
>But only a few feet this time.

>>11519435
“Shit, Twilight are yo-“
>Oh, she’s picked you up now. Apparently you’re an ideal Unicorn weapon. Good to know.
>Trixie, obviously afraid of your effectiveness as a weapon, quickly teleports between you and Twilight.
>A bubble of force explodes around Trixie ONCE AGAIN sending you and Twilight flying, in opposite directions this time.
>Twilight hits the back of the stage as you glide over the audience.
>Another force grabs you. This one is different. Instead of magic, you feel two hooves wrapped around your underarms.
>”Gotcha, bro!”
>Bro. BRO! RAINBOW DASH! THANK YOU!
“Why haven’t you tried stopping this?!”
>Rainbow Dash sets you down in the middle of the crowd. She looked positively excited.
>”Are you seeing this? This is so cool!”
>You look back at the stage to see something you’ve always dreamed of watching.
>Something that drove you, and the crowd, wild.
>A fucking wizard fight.
>Twilight’s magic was strong. She could probably take Trixie down in a few good hits.
>But Trixie was fast. Being quick, smart, and subtle was a part of her profession.
>Twilight planted herself firmly on the ground as she began to unleash a torrent of magical lasers.
>Trixie weaves between a few of them before teleporting behind Twilight.
>Twilight predicted this and conjured up a small purple shield.
>Trixie is a little dumbfounded, caught off guard by Twilight’s, well, guard.
>Twilight uses this moment of weakness to expand her bubble shield enough to throw Trixie off balance.
>She then pivots on her hind legs to face Trixie.
>And blasts her in the chest with another beam.

>>11519446
>Trixie is knocked on her back hard and she slides across the stage a few feet.
>She’s down for the count.
>Twilight adopts a smug look.
>”Serves you right!”
>”S-Shut up…” Trixie rolls onto her stomach, giving the audience a good view of the singed area on her chest.
>She struggles to stand up but holds her composure once she does.
>”Trixie did nothing wrong. You… You insulted her, you accused her of something she didn’t do, and you attacked her. You-“
>”Stop that! That third-person talk the worst thing about you!”
>”Trixie refuses to listen to violent, senseless ponies such as you!”
>Trixie cocks her wizard cap.
>Round 2
>Twilight gets in the same position as before but Trixie isn’t stupid enough to try teleporting behind her again.
>Before Twilight can start firing again, Trixie stomps her hoof on the stage, a small board springs up and thwaps her in the underbelly.
>The attack to her underside startled Twilight more than it hurt her, which was the plan. Trixie used the opportunity to jump in close and use the exploding bubble once again.
>Her hat comes off in the process, landing somewhere behind Twilight.
>Twilight quickly recovers. She readies another spell, you recognize it before it goes off. Twilight’s teleport spell has quite a windup before it goes off.
>It also gives its destination away as she ports.
>Trixie’s teleports as well. Hers is faster, quieter, and not nearly as visual. It’s like she fades in and out of existence for a moment.
>Trixie teleports in front of her wizard cap, facing the other direction. She levitates the cap to about flank-level.

>>11519463
>Twilight finally ports back into existence. Her teleport was quick but when compared to Trixie’s it was nothing.
>Twilight was thrown off by Trixie’s expression.
>It could only be read as…
>’Check Mate’ Yeah, something like that.
>You finally notice it. The blue box from before was levitating over Twilight’s head.
>Twilight notices it just as you do. She attempts to move but once Twilight makes the slightest twitch, the box comes down on her with enough force to kill a pony.
>Twilight emerges from Trixie cap.
>And flies straight into a hard buck from the Mare of Magic herself.
>A deafening CRACK is heard over the cheers, boos, and applause of the audience.
>Twilight slumps to the floor of the stage. Her tiara lies at her side.
>Trixie waits a moment before claiming victory.
>She takes the tiara and places it on her own head.
>”Behold! Trixie is the new Element of Magic!”
>The crowd goes wild.
>Rainbow Dash and Applejack sit on the ground and stare, wide-eyed and mouths gaping.
>And you… Don’t know.
>But you do know that…
>That
>Was
>So
>FUCKING
>COOL

>>11519470
>Trixie struts around stage, showing off her new prize.
>You feel something nudge your sides a few times but you’re too captivated with Trixie to pay attention.
>The nudging stop as Rainbow Dash flies onto stage.
>Rainbow Dash! This isn’t your show, get off the stage!
>Oh. She’s helping Twilight. That’s cool, just stay out the way, Trixie might do some more cool stuff.
>Something lightly kicks your knee cap, breaking you out of your trance.
>”C’mon, Sugarcube. RD is gonna need our help.”
“Right… Right.”
>Rainbow drags Twilight’s unconscious body off the side of the stage and onto Applejack’s back. You help by steadying Twilight with a hand.
>The trip back is slow. You don’t mind, you’re still in pain from being used as a ragdoll and a weapon.
>… And you won’t stop looking to Trixie for, you don’t know, reprieve from these mares?
>’You two, release Trixie’s buddy so he can watch more of her show!’
>’Nuh-uh! He’s our friend and he wants to help Twilight!’
>’Is this true, best friend Anonymous?!’
>’No way, Trixie! I want to see more of your show!’
>’You see! Wouldn’t you prefer if your friend was enjoying himself?’
>’Ah never thought of it that way.’
>’Yeah, Anon! You should go have fun at Trixie’s show!’
>’Radicaaaaaaaal’
>Shit, you got caught up in your daydream and Trixie’s stage is out of view.

>>11519478
>Twilight’s Library comes into view.
>Thoughts of returning to Trixie’s show have faded. She DID use you as a weapon and she DID act like a total bitch.
>Twilight was being bitchier.
>Yeah and you’re not exactly happy with her, either. Twilight’s hostility was rather out of character.
>Rainbow Dash opens the door to Library. She allows Applejack in but puts a hoof on your chest to stop you from entry.
>”I think you can go home, Anon.”
>She doesn’t look mad, just a little disappointed. Understandable enough, you should have been more helpful, tonight.
“Alright, I should go catch some sleep. You should go do the same.”
>”… Yeah. Night, Anon.”
“Night, Dash.”
>You wave her good night and return to Rarity’s Boutique.
>You hear nothing stir as you enter. Rarity must have already gone to sleep.
>You shuffle to your room, fall on the bed, and allow sleep to quickly embrace you.

>>11519483
>You wake up the next morning as sore as can be. Nothing really hurts as you move so perhaps you can pass on the visit to the pony doctor.
>It takes a few seconds of focus until you realize what woke you up.
>”Anonymousss~, are you awake?” Rarity’s voice calls from the other room.
“Sorta”
>”What was that, dear?” You can hear her standing just outside your door.
“Yeah, yeah. Awake.”
>”Are you… decent?”
>Boxers and a T-Shirt… Not for Rarity, no.
>You quickly slip on a dirty pair of pants. You’ll put on something a little nicer after a shower.

>>11519489
“Yes, Rarity, you may enter.”
>She opens your door and takes a couple steps in. She winces once she sees what you’re wearing.
>Fuck off, you JUST woke up.
“Is there something you need help with?”
>”Erm, yes. I told my mother I would walk with Sweetie Bell to school this morning but I’m swamped with work. Could you perhaps…”
“Yeah, that’s fine. Um, what time is it?”
>”Around 6:30! Just enough time to get yourself properly prepared for the day!”
>Too early. Fuck you. Fuck Rarity. Fuck this gay Equestria.
“Thanks, Rarity. I’m going to take a shower, there any hot water left?”
>”Mmhm! Just be sure to make it quick, darling.”
>You then enter the bathroom, proceed to do the morning routine, and exit lookin’ good as usual.
>Aaaaand it’s 7:15. You need to stop taking long showers.
“I’m headin’ out, Rarity!” You call as you finish putting on your second shoe.
>The walk to Rarity’s Parent’s house was a short 15 minutes in the opposite direction of the school.
>Sweetie Bell sits next to the front door.
>She notices you as you get close, her face lights up with excitement. You smile back.
>Sweetie Bell and the rest of the CMC warmed up to you pretty quickly. They were a little annoying but way too adorable to not love instantly.
>”Hey Anonymous! What are you doing here?”
>You squat down as she approaches you.
“Your sister was busy this morning so she asked me to take you to school.”
>”Okay! You’re way funner than Rarity anyway!”
“Hah! Totally.”

>>11519498
>You and Sweetie Bell slowly make way back into Ponyville. Darn those cute little legs of hers.
>You walk as slowly as you can as Sweetie Bell walks, skips, hops, and jogs next to you.
>The trip is pretty quiet, she keeps herself entertained.
>Until…
>”Is Rarity your special somepony?”
>You spit out your dr-… oh wait you weren’t drinking anything.
“Excuse me?”
>”Is Rarity your special somepony? Both of you get along really well and I think you two look kinda cute together.”
“No. Rarity is not my special somepony.”
>”Why not?”
>Oh boy, you honestly never thought you’d have this conversation.
“For quite a while, I thought Rarity had feelings for me but I couldn’t return those feelings.”
>”Uh-huh.”
“So I ignored it and just went on with my life. By the way, don’t ever do that. Things have a tendency to blow up in your face when you do.”
>”Did something happen with Rarity?”
“Nah, I got lucky. Turns out she didn’t have feelings for me, either. I thought she was going to propose a couple nights ago but she just asked me to move out.”
>”WHAT?!” Holy shit, that voice crack.
“Yeah, I’m moving into a new place once I find a job.”
>”You’re moving?! But… But” Oh gosh, is she crying?
>She is! Ohnoohnoohno.
“S-Sweetie Bell! I’m not moving away from Ponyville! Just calm down, we’ll still see eachother.”
>”Are you sure… ?” Oh my god that face. Those eyes. Her tears.
>Your heart is melting.
>You kneel down and pull her into a tight hug.
“Yeah, I’m sure.”
>She sniffs as she tries to hold another tear back.
>”Thanks, Anon.”

>>11519514
>Sweetie Belle gives you another tight hug around your ankle before running into her classroom.
>Sweet Filly, her friends are great too. She’ll find her place in the world someday.
>Having no plans for the day and with Trixie gone, you take the long route to the boutique.
>You toss a newspaper vendor a couple bits as you pass by and grab a paper.
>The headline reads, ‘MARE OF MAGIC DEFEATS THE ELEMENT OF MAGIC’
>You don’t bother to read it, you know what happened.
>You flip through the pages of the paper, looking for anything interesting.
>You stop on the Funny Pages. You always stop on the funny pages.
>’Ponies vs. The Humens’ Ah yes, this daily comic strip is always funny. You don’t know why but some of this shit is gold. “I have to love fast and balloons too slow!” So The Human hugged ponies with bear hands!’ Kills you every time.
>This week’s was no different. A ‘Humen’ carrying a lot of cakes walks by two police ponies. One pony points at the ‘Human’ and screams, “STOP THE HUMEN!” They give chase and fall into a hole. Fucking comedic gold.
>’Human, if you read this I hope you understand this is satirical and I mean no harm. In fact, if you ever find the time I’d love to have you over for an afternoon tea.’ –Writer, Illustrator, Lyra Heartstrings.
>Hmmm, she does write that in every day. She must be losing some money for taking up that space.
>Shit, you have no plans today. You’ll visit her this afternoon.

>>11519524
>You turn to the classifieds section.
>…
>Nothing! Nothing good!
>Why don’t they just plaster a big ol’ “WE DON’T WANT NO HUMAN WORKING IN PONYVILLE” at the top?
>You toss the paper in the nearest trashcan and continue towards the Boutique.
>Only delayed by a few passing ponies wishing you a good morning, you quickly make it there.
>The bell rings as you open the door. Huh, she doesn’t normally put it up until she opens the store for the day.
>”Anonymous, is that you?”
>Her voice sounds a little panicked.
“Rarity is something wrong?”
>”No, not at all, darling. Just please come into the kitchen.”
>You followed her voice into the kitchen and saw something that made your heart skip a beat or two.
>Rarity sat at one side of the table, wearing the worst fake smile you’ve ever seen.
>And Trixie, still wearing Twilight’s Tiara from the night before.
>A small cup of tea sat in front of both of them.
>”Anonymous, was it? Take a seat.” Trixie beckons to the chair in front of you.
>You oblige.
“You can just call me Anon.”
>Your tone is flat. You don’t know how to feel about Trixie. You spent all day helping her and all you got in return was one bitchy attitude.
>Dude, why do you think she’s here now?
>Huh, that makes sense, actually.
>You relax a little.
>”Very well, Anon.” She takes a sip of tea. “So where did you run off to last night, hm? You didn’t make it easy for Trixie to track you down.”
“Heh, sorry. I guess I should’ve stuck around for the after party?”
>”Oh, don’t you worry about that. The only pony invited to Trixie’s after party was Twilight’s volunteer.”
>Dude, gross.
>”Anonymouswouldyoulikesometea!?” Rarity blurts out.
>Rarity may not have been at Trixie's show but Trixie wasn't very subtle with that statement. She knew the meaning behind it.

>>11519542
>Things became very awkward from this point.
“Yes please…”
>Rarity begins to pour you a cup.
>”So, uh, you two bucking?”
>”Aah!” Rarity drops the pot of tea.
>It pours into YOU LAP HOLY FUCK
“TRIXIEWHY?!”
>”I’m so sorry Anonymous!” Rarity levitates a rag over to your lap and begins to gently dab the spots tea spilled on.
>Trixie snickers.
“R-rarity, I’ll take care of it.”
>”Aww, it looked like she was having fun cleaning up.”
>Rarity is shaking with anger at this point.
>”You know, Anon. Trixie was about to leave for Appleoosa and she was hoping you could join her. You. Her. Alone. I’m sure your… marefriend wouldn’t mind.“
>”That’s enough!”
>Rarity was on her two hind legs now, resting the forehooves on the table. She was frothing with anger.
“Rarity.”
>”If you’re going to come in here and make crude comments about Anonymous and I, then I’m afraid I’m going to have to ask you to leave!”
>Trixie’s grin grows a little wider.
“Rarity…”
>She continues to ignore you.
>”And how DARE you insinuate Anonymous and I are… doing that, then proceed to try and abduct him from me! I ought to-“
“Rarity!”
>Rarity takes a deep, shuddering breath, trying to calm herself down.
>”Yes, Anonymous?”
“Could you give Trixie and me some time?”
>”Yes, Trixie would like some time alone with this handsome human. “
>”Shut up! Just… Please be quiet.”
>Whoa, you’ve never heard Rarity tell anyone to shut up.
>Rarity sighs and turns to exit the room.
>“I will fetch you a new set of clothes, Anonymous. Please make your meeting with this… quick.” You swear you heard Rarity call Trixie a Mule.

>>11519551
>She exits the room, giving you and Trixie the privacy she wanted.
“So, what’s this really about?”
>”First…”
>A small bag pops into view in front of Trixie’s face. It drops to the table like a bag of rocks. It sounds like a bag of bits, however.
“What’s this?”
>”Compensation.” She shoves the bag over to you with a hoof.
>”Trixie is well aware of her previous reputation around this mudhole. You told her you had connections to Twilight Sparkle, the Element of Magic. Trixie thought you’d invite her. And any kind of recognition from her is good publicity.”
“Uh huh…”
>”You did even better. You got her to challenge Trixie! A risky gamble, but it obviously paid off. This is your cut.”
“Huh…” You open the bag.
>”24 bits, Trixie believes that is an appropriate payment for your services.”
>Is that it?
>Better than nothing, which would probably be what you got if you told Trixie it was all Rainbow Dash’s doing.
>”And…” She leans in close. “There’s more where that came from, if you know what she’s saying.”
“What who’s saying?”
>Trixie rolls her eyes. “Trixie.”
>You give her a deadpan look. This third-person bullshit is really getting on your nerves.
>”Trixie isn’t going to stop so get used to it.”
“It’s not like I have to put up with it for any longer. You ARE leaving today, right?”
>”Yes, Trixie is leaving Ponyville by this afternoon. But, stop sidetracking her for a moment!”

>>11519578
“Right, that. What did you mean by that?“
>”Give her a moment and she’ll tell you! Ahem...”
>Trixie wraps her cape around herself with one hoof and sticks another one in the air. She closes her eyes and points her nose to the sky.
>”Trixie would like to personally invite you to her next performance.”
>She pauses for a moment.
“Go on.”
>”Shh!”
>godfuckingdamnit
>”She has selected you, Anonymous, for possible future employment as long as you fulfill-“
>You stopped listening. Did she just say that word? That beautiful, magical word?
>Employment?!
“I accept!”
>”Uhm… Trixie wasn’t finished.”
“Right, heh, sorry. It’s just… I’ve been looking for some sort of employment for a while now.”
>”Have you ever been employed before? Trixie’s going to need somepony who knows how to work his tail off!”
>Aww yeah, time to boast.
>You lean on the table with one arm, making gestures with the other one as you talk.
“Well, aha, because of me this little Boutique is the biggest supplier of High-End outfits in Canterlot. If I didn’t come around, the name ‘Rarity’ wouldn’t be known anywhere outside Ponyville.”
>”I heard that!” Rarity’s voice echoes from somewhere in the Boutique.
>Oh shit. You wipe the smug grin off double-quick.
>You looked back to Trixie to see her mouth agape.
>”Wait, you don’t mean… THE Rarity?! The owner of THE Carousel Boutique!?”

>>11519589
>She bangs her head against the table, sending Twilight’s Element Tiara thing sliding across the table.
>“UUUUGH, how did Trixie not to put two-and-two together?! Trixie is supposed to be rubbing hooves with famous Canterlot ponies, NOT rubbing them the wrong way.”
>Her head shoots back up. She has a huge grin on her face and her eyes twinkle a little bit.
>”Wait! Did you say YOU are to credit for her success?”
>You shrug. You can’t take ALL the credit.
“I put the right words in the right ears. Rarity does all the amazing dress making.”
>”B-b-but you made HER famous in Canterlot! And then you got the Element of Magic to challenge Trixie at her own show! So you would say this is something you’re good at?”
“… Yeah?”
>Trixie squees in delight. She can be pretty cute when she isn’t herself.
>Rarity returns with your new set of clothes.
>”Now, I assume your business with Mister Anonymous is finished. I must kindly ask you to leave my Boutique.” Rarity says unkindly.
>”Not yet. Would you excuse Trixie and Anon for another-“
>”Now.”
>Trixie tries to combat Rarity’s demands with a harsh glare.
>Rarity returns it tenfold.
>Trixie groans very dramatically.
>”Fine!”
>She reaches over the table for Twilight’s tiara but Rarity magics it out of her reach.
>”And this is not yours.”
>Trixie looks like she’s about to give Rarity an earful, but holds her tongue.
>She slowly gets out of her seat and looks at you.
>”Come, Trixie still needs to talk to you.”
>You internally sigh as you get up and walk alongside her to the front room.
>She stops you as she reaches the door.

>>11519613
>”So, does Trixie’s offer entice you?”
“I don’t know.” You scratch your arm nervously. “It’s a pretty big decision and I don’t think I can make it immediately.”
>Trixie responds with a grumble.
“And you said you didn’t finish, I’m going to want more details.”
>”Ugh, so picky. But, fair enough. Come by Trixie’s wagon BEFORE noon. If Trixie leaves any later than that, she’s wasting bits. Until then, discuss things with your…” She snickers a little. “Marefriend.”
“Trixie… We’re not fillies.”
>”Oh, Trixie just wanted to see her face go red once more.” She points somewhere behind you. You turn when she does.
>You see Rarity, who was eavesdropping on the conversation.
>Satisfied with that ruckus she’s stirred up, Trixie leaves the boutique/
>”You’re not seriously considering her offer, are you?”
“Yeah, a little.”
>”I don’t understand how you can bear the company of that… Ugh!” Rarity violently shivers
“You know I need a job. Especially since… Well, given the circumstances.”
>”… I won’t hold your hand on this one, Anonymous.”
>This wasn’t an answer you expected.
>”This is your decision to make. I just think you’re about to make the wrong one.”
“I don’t know. I can’t find any other work and the offer comes off the table this afternoon…”
>”Yes but think of what you’d be losing if you made such a rash decision.
>…
>Nothing. You hate to admit it but nothing important hold you to Ponyville.
>Yes you have friends here but they won’t stop being your friends if you were to leave.
>You think.
>”I must get back to work. I hope to see you this evening.”
>Not another word is spoken between the two of you as she retreats into her workshop.

>>11519542
I dont know who you are, I dont know what you your story is called, but you're awesome, and I think I love you.

>>11519653
It's called Trix of the Trade and it's a repost.

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853 KB PNG

>>11518442
So, let me get this straight here:
New writers cannot be praised lest they be accused of Shindom.
Is that right?
'Cause if so that's fucked right off.

Nobody's calling Lunaguy Shin, right?

Back to the point, if that's the case, why?
I wasn't around for the Shin drama, he's just a (constantly regurgitated) name to me.

Time to repost all of that through the Gizoogle translator.

>Dizzle 285 up in Equestria
>”Sorry, Anon. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. We’re just not lookin fo' one of mah thugs wit your, uh… skill set.”
>This sums up yo' everyday routine like well.
>Yo crazy-ass freebies have run out, you need a thang.
>Not true, you needed a thang 3 months ago.
>Dat shiznit was when Twilight decided ta kick you outta tha Library, sayin you were, “Too Big,” and, “Bothersome ta dem tryin ta read.”
>Dat shiznit was bullshit, you knew it yo, but dat shiznit was also her home. Yo ass couldn’t refuse.
>Raritizzle was generous enough ta take you in. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. In exchange fo' a lil' small-ass room n' meals, she put you up in charge of advertisin fo' her store.
>It wasn’t easy as fuck , at first.
>But one evenin bout two months ago, a big-ass crew of Canterlot Unicorns hit up Ponyville.
>Yo ass straight-up couldn’t care less why they was here, you just wanted dat sale.
>It took a entire evenin of brown-nosing, human history lessons, n' rappin' bout thangs you never heard of but, when they axed dat question…
>”Anon, I gotta ask, where did you git dat suit, biatch? It be simply wonderful.”
>Yo ass knew dat shiznit was all worth dat shit.
“Rarity’s Carousel Boutique!” Yo ass holla'd, “Our thugged-out asses had some dunkadelic fashionistas on Ghetto but they was not a god damn thang compared ta tha Mare here up in Ponyville.”
>Yo ass thought you laid it on too thick but they took tha bait anyway.
>Yo ass raised up tha next mornin ta Rarity’s frantic cheers. Da crew placed a order fo' a thugged-out dozen unique dresses tha moment Raritizzle opened her doors fo' tha day.
>But dat wasn’t tha goal. It aint nuthin but tha nick nack patty wack, I still gots tha bigger sack. Not tha final one, at least.

>>11519680
Well it wasn't so big until Stavi started acting like a dick.
He basically said he's not shin and an Anon said do a vocaroo to prove it.
Stavi said yeah, started shitposting real bad for twenty minutes then said, fuck this I'm drunk now, and proceeded to dissapear not long afterwards.

Every thing I thought I knew is now a lie.

I intend no offence if that’s what you feel at this, also keep in mind that this is not accurate, I don’t know what really happened and just wrote this as I feel Strel would have done

>Day unknown in Russia
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t--n7oU_oRk
>A ragged cough sounds in the dim room
>Laying in a bed, covered by a blanket with the Russian flag sewn into the front, is the imposing form of a Russian man
>Strelnikov is his name
>”THIS BEING SICK BUSSINESS IS FOR THE BIRDS”
>Scowling at nothing, he sits in bed brooding
>Even with jarring lances of pain wracking him, so painful that a lesser man would be reduced to tears, he remains stone-faced, a testament to his will
>Sending a forlorn glance to his computer in the corner of the room, the monitor lit, the letters “/mlp/” plain as day the Russian man wonders about all the things he’s experienced on the dreaded site
>He sighs, then winces as an especially bad jolt of pain races up his form
“ENOUGH OF THIS”
>Slowly rising out of the bed, Strelnikov shuffles to his kitchen

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36 KB JPG

>>11519720
Oh, I see now.

Damn it Stavi, own up to your fuckup. THEN PLS COME BACK! I NEED YOUR STORY LIKE I NEED TO BREATH, PLEEEAAAASSSEEE! I'll give you a cookie...

>>11519758

reposts because feels

>>11519758
>Spying a bottle on the counter, he grabs it and takes a swig of the clear, burning contents in one fluid motion
“SCREW WHAT DOCTOR SAYS, YOU DON’T KEEP RUSSIAN FROM HIS VODKA”
>Taking another mouthful of liquor Strelnikov looks at his calendar on the wall
>On the last day of the month is a circle
>Such a simple mark means so much
>One month
>That’s how long they said he had
>Strelnikov grinds his teeth, hating the fate he was dealt
>No…there is one thing he can do
>Steel in his gaze, the Russian downs the rest of his drink in one go
“NO, STRELNIKOV IS A MAN, A MAN THAT WILL GO ON HIS OWN TERMS”
>Mind made up, he slowly walks back to his room, his agonizing condition slowing him
>Finally there, he digs through his closet, producing a small box
>Taking it to his bed, the Russian takes off the lid, revealing his father’s old service pistol
>Picking up the gun gingerly, he takes a still full magazine out of the box and loads the weapon
>With a click, he chambers a round into the old gun
>Pressing the barrel to his heart, Strelnikov takes one last look to the computer in the corner, /mlp/ still on the screen

>Raritizzle

Heh

>>11519779

“ALL OF YOU, YOU ARE SCUM OF INTERNET”
>The Russian man smiles wanly
“…BUT NEVER HAS BEING WITH SCUM BEEN SO ENJOYABLE”
>He puts a finger on the trigger
“IF I FIND ANYONE OF YOU IN HELL SOON, I WILL KICK COLLECTIVE ASSES”
BANG!

>>11519791
Never forget.

>>11519791

>Disorientation
>That’s all he feels
>The ground shifting
>The wind chaotic
>Whole body tingling
>A bright white light
>Whether it was seconds or hours he would never know, but once it all stops he realizes he is on his back on the ground
>With a groan, Strelnikov sits up and opens his eyes
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lLy1YbU8BOk
>All round are trees and grassland, green and verdant as can be
>Strelnikov looks up, seeing blue sky, clear as springwater
“THIS IS NOT HELL…”
>Standing up, Strelnikov feels no pain
>Wait, no pain?
>Looking at his hands, no longer pale and clammy, it hits him
“STRELNIKOV IS HEALTHY? HA! NOTHING GETS A RUSSIAN MAN DOWN”

>>11519804

>Taking a deep breath of clean air, he looks around to gain his bearings
>As before, all around is greenery with the exception of the north
>Walking to the opening in the forest, Strelnikov stops and stares, struck dumb by what he sees
>Down a hill on the opening is a very familiar rustic town…
>Could this be..?
>Craning his head around Strelnikov sees a mountain in the distance, a castle attached to it’s side
“NO, IS TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE…”
>Rubbing his eyes and looking back at the town he sees that nothing has changed
>Ever so slowly, a grin forms on the man’s face
“LOOKS LIKE STRELNIKOV WILL BE WRITING HIS OWN STORY AFTERALL”
>He looks down at the town
“LETS GET STARTED ON CHAPTER ONE YA?”
>Without a look back, he starts off to the settlement of P0nyville
>It would be only the first of many wonders earth could never offer
>A perfect fate for a deserving man

>>11519830
http://pastebin.com/u/ShinobiPony

>>11519760
I don't think he's coming back Anon, and I don't really want him to. A few good stories are not worth the shitstorms.

>>11519621
Wait, it's been so damn long, was this Trix of the Trade's beginning chapters? it's been so long since I've looked those over. If so I am frothing with rage with Twilight, Trixie, and Applejack. Anon gets used as a damn bat, and they have the audacity to be mad at him for not helping? And Twilight saying, "You weren't being useful anyway."


If Trixie offered me that job I'd take it in a heartbeat, even if she was being a bitch to me. If my "friends" thought so little of me then then they aren't friends at all. At least care that your friend is launched away and disappeared for an hour, god forbid he could got hurt ya know? What shitty friends he's got, at least Rainbow stopped him from being thrown away again.

>>11519876

>autism

>>11519876
And it appears as though exhaustion has killed my ability to English. Night thread.

>>11519876
Yeah man how could you forge-
>over a year old
What am I doing with my life
I'm having fun and filling that empty hole in my gut that demands me to be creative in some way.

>>11519876
For some reason I hate with a passion when someone is being so dense on something so simple as forgiveness. I also hate dense people who never give up on something

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>>11519893
Anon makes a good point, Aether you autistic little shitter keel urself

>>11519876
Gadget had to make the mane six dislikable so he would have a reason for Anon to go with his waifu.

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>>11519852
He posted, like, three threads back?

Said he'd have an update ready sometime tonight (as in, Thursday night) or the next day. It's a shame about the shitstorm surrounding him, though. I like his writing, FWIW. Not the best, sure, but some good quality new-blood.

I don't think it's good for ANY writer to be run out of AiE. More green is always a good thing, right?

>>11520003
I-it was the early days of AiE... I'm just the only one with an ongoing story this old.

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>>11519981
k.

>>11520003
Well, it worked for me. My god did it work for me.

Can anyone recommend a sizeable AiE fic that would make a grown man cry?

>>11520010
If you don't have thick skin you aren't going to survive as a writer in AiE for long, that's the reason we see so many new guys run out after their first chapter.
They see their autistic works as literature written by the hand of god.
We call it out as utter shit.
It's our way of trying to express ur autistic emotions and tell them to try a little harder.

>>11520057
Bros in Equestria

>>11520060
>ur
that's supposed to be our if you can't tell.

Does anyone know the name of the story with spitfire being an instructor in a training camp and anon being there?

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>>11520010
Yeah, he was actually on /mlp/ today.
Posting little love letters and prayers for Chryalis in the Chrysalis + Corruption thread.
>>11509000 →
He's an interesting cat, that guy. I hope what you say is true, though. Remember what thread number it was?

>>11520010
Not always. Who am I kidding. Of course. Even if you're a shitty writer, anyone can do a silly one shot once in a while. It's all good. I've been in the thread since a little before TheScooter, and even though a lot of writers get off the ride, a handful more get on in their place. New blood (good or bad) is just that, blood, and keeps the threads alive.

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>>11520096
Sorry man. I only know of two Spitfire things. Pseudocracy's 'Firebro' oneshot and Stavicodone's story.
Neither of them really match what you're talking about, I don't think. Although they both DO have Spitfire in a training camp.

Eh, check 'em out. What could it hurt? At the very least you might find a story you like.

>tfw this is the only Spitfire pic I have
I should really start saving Stavi's pics.

>>11520096
I think that was one of the grab bag challenges.....Shikku might still have the links to them.

>>11520096
pastebin.com/u/Aratnthos

-Full Metal Nonny-

The du quit tho

>>11520759
*Aranthos

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Bout to start writing my Anon x Hope thing I've been meaning to do, but I can't quite figure out what exactly to go with.

So, herd and lots of satyr's, with the incest being a secret relationship?
Anon only has Lyra, secret incest?
Anon only has Lyra, incest for the whole family?

Or suggest your own.
This will massively shape the tone of the story.

>>11520833
No herd, we've seen too much of that shit. Personally I don't like Lyra, but if you already have that in works go for it. And I don't like incest either, but if that's definitely going to be in there you might as well go for just the secret stuff. If you want to make it public, have it so that each parent was secretly doing it and one of them catches the other.

So no to herd, no to Lyra, and no to incest. Huh.

>>11520833
Always, and forever, option C.
Coincidentally, 3rd option is the one I'd like to see.

>>11520833
I would suggest going vanilla on this one. Written effectively, the story wouldn't even need incest to make it interesting.
Alternatively, Anon only has Lyra, secret incest is somewhat popular already. Mostly by way of Hope having a crush on her dad, sometimes innocent, sometimes less so.

>>11520885
What this guy said.

[EXCITEMENT INTENSIFIES]

>>11520833

Take out the incest completely, and I will read it.

>>11520833
>Incest
Theres a general for that.

http://pastebin.com/u/Spylight
>You are now Twilight
>And it looks like a minotaur family is living in these very woods.
>By Celestia you are lucky they are friendly! They normally are somewhat secluded and protective of their property.
>You have also never heard of minotaur dwelling on a tree house. But you can ask everything you want from the elders, when this small one will pull you in.
>You can’t see him all that well because of a constant stream of rain – but he seems small enough to not yet develop horns.
>And his fur is barely visible.
>Anyway you see a rope ladder of some sorts
>Pretty sure it’s impossible to just climb it for you though. Most of the time you spent Physical Education class curled with a book. Reading a book on running while actually running is not a very productive idea too.
”Okay twilight, you can do this.”
>You pull your hooves through the gaps in the ladder and hold for your dear life.
“I’m ready!”
>”Ok, hold tight!”
>You are holding onto the ladder as hard as you can, curling it with your legs and gripping it with your mouth.
>Ascending with slow methodical pulls, each pull threatening to release your grip on a ladder.
>Never had the strongest jaw, and the rain have made the rope wet and slippery.
>A minute later you are grabbing the edge of the porch and scrambling your sorry body over it.
>You are panting hard, your legs aching from all the walking and hanging, your jaw nearly dislocated.
>The rope probably left some deep marks on your legs
>Should really get on Rainbow’s idea of morning runs. Especially now when you have some free time to do it earth-pony style.
>You see the minotaur really close, holding the rope and almost fall back down
>It’s sitting on the floor, legs spread against the doorjamb
>And it’s definitely not a minotaur.
>Looks mostly like it, but no horns, no fur, facial expression is nothing like a bull.
>There is a patch of hair directly on top of the head, as well as some on the face.

>>11521081
>Fully covered in clothes
>In fact that’s nothing you’ve ever seen or even heard before.
>This needs research. As a praised student you have read about all and every creature inhabiting equestria.
>Aside snakes. Snakes are gross.
>And bats. They are gross too, not as much as snakes though.
>But this is not just any creature! It’s intelligent and you somehow don’t now anything about it!
>Where have it even came from?
>The brain kicks into the overdrive as always when you see something new or interesting.
>Analytical state of mind they call it.
>The creature suddenly stood upright again, just as a minotaur would. Maybe it’s some kind of subspecies?
>So a Bipedal creature... without a tail? That' going against all biology books you have read.
>How does it keep upright posture with nothing to balance it?
>The center of mass can't be in its legs, seeing that it's torso is so much bigger. Unless it's feet are made of that new super heavy alchemagical element that was discovered not a month ago by some secluded alchemist in Canterlot.
>Which is beyond unlikely, but can still be considered a theory.
>Eyes facing forward. Typical predatory feat. However the creature is lacking any other predator traits. No claws, the mouth is rather small, the jaw is not big and strong enough to bite through anything...
>Long arms, five fingers on each. Looks very small and elegant. You wonder how this thing doesn't hurt them... He was even able to pull you up with them, so they look rather strong.
>Oh, there actually are claws... nails? Small and unfit for attack.
>Maybe it’s poisonous? A poisonous predator, a clever one and you are in it’s house. Good job, Smarty pants.

>>11521086
>Fully covered in clothes. It's not that cold out there even considering the rain, and it's certainly pretty warm inside. Is there a kind of occasion you interrupted? Perhaps a formal meeting?
>Is the creature even alone here? The house seems big enough for a couple more inhabitants.
>It opened his mouth to talk to you, and even before you registered the sound your eyes notice his teeth. Omnivore, you are certain of it. Well that gradually lowers the threat of being eaten alive.
"...Hello? Hello there can you hear me?"
>The voice is pretty low, so it… he should be male.
>Oh, right, he’s talking to you.
"H-hello, sorry, just got distracted... umm... Thanks for pulling me here, it’s so wet out there so I was lost and then I noticed your home and Called for help, I'm so sorry for interrupting whatever you are doing now, I also…"
>"Okay okay, no need to fret, it's fine. Welcome to my home miss..."
"Twilight Sparkle. My name is Twilight Sparkle, and thank you so much for letting me in. I will try not to impose and will be out of your hair as soon as the rain dwindles a bit"
>"Well hello Twilight Sparkle. Come get in - no need to speak on the doorstep. You obviously need some warmth now, you are positively shaking.”
>He turns around, motioning to follow him.
>You awkwardly do so, noticing a trail of dirt your hooves leave behind. Your sodden mane and tail are dripping water everywhere.
>And now goes the blushing, not only you storm into his home in the middle of something important, but you bring all the dirt with you.
“Umm…”
>He turns around, sees your blush and hesitation, clearly not getting it.
>You awkwardly show him your forehoof with a spot of dirt under it.
>He brightens up and grabs a rug from a broomstick nearby.

>>11521091
>”Here, I don't have any hot water at the moment, so at least dry your hooves with it. I’ll give you a towel for your hide inside”
>Well that’s better than nothing. You do as he says, while he watches you closely.
>It makes you a little uncomfortable. Is there something else wrong with you? Or is it a predator thing? Does he look at you as his pray, analyzing when it’s best to strike?
>Okay don’t panic, Twilight, if he were to attack you, he’d do that the moment you were hanging from the rope. At his mercy.
>Oh god how reckless are you, trusting your life with a creature you have never even seen?
>He turns around and motions to follow him again.
>You pass through the dark corridor, couple doors left and right.
>Little to no decorations, aside something that looks like a poster. You can’t really distinguish all the features in the dark.
>You arrive in something that is clearly the living room.
>It’s huge, but there is not a lot of furniture here. A couch and a couple armchairs around a table. It’s normal sized, but for him it’s just a coffee table.
>Bookshelves all over the walls.
>Something covered with cloth at the very middle
>And a chimney.
>You almost melt at the prospect of radiating warmth washing all over your drenched self.
>As much as it’s a number one wish of your body, your mind is fixated on something else.
>The books!
>All of them with titles you’ve never seen before! And it also instantly feels like home.
>You stay in awe for a second, but then notice a knowing smirk the creature has on his face.
>”That’s my home library, yes. Now get in front of the fire, I'll bring you a towel to dry yourself.”
>He turns around and walks out of the room to get the towel.
>How does he… Is he telepathic?

>>11521098
>Oh well, even a poisonous telepathic omnivore magician can’t be that bad with so much books at home.
>As you get near the fire the warmth brings the feel of safety and calmness.
>You would fill calm, If only you weren't so mad at yourself right now for being irresponsive and stubborn as an ass.
>You notice that the light source in the room is a lamp with an enchanted glass bowl of some sort.
>That's an interesting approach, you use crystals yourself, but you can't sense any magical energy in the...
>Oh... right. The burnout.
>The frown fills your face just the moment the creature comes in with the towel.
>He gives it to you, while you awkwardly grab it with your hooves and start drying yourself.
"Thank you for that, it's really a nice place here..."
>Okay Twilight, don’t let your thoughts get into place.
>You force yourself to smile again and look into his eyes.
"Sorry if my questions sounds rude, but I haven't seen a creature like you before, so if you don't mind me asking... what exactly are you?"
>He blankly looks at you for a second and then chuckles.
>"How do i put it. I'm a creature that we ourselves call Humans. So I'm a human. Male to be specific. We live very far away from here to put it lightly. I can say that I have never seen a pony before in person, and most of the population never heard of Equestria too. So don't feel bad if you never heard of our species."
"Wow... you never seen a pony before? That's weird."
>"World is a weird place, Twilight Sparkle. You see I have never intended to get here in the first place. Consider it an accident. I was going anywhere and somehow ended up here. On a tree. No regrets though"
>An accident? Probably a magical misfire.
>At least you are not the only one with such a trouble.
"Do you have a name?"

>>11521104
>His sight goes blank for a second.
>"Oh how rude of me. Well I do have a name, but seeing as this is a new place and possibly new life, I might as well pick a new name.
>He thinks for a second
>"And while I think of something appropriate you can just call me Anonymous. Anon for shorts."
>This sounds pretty stupid. But you can go with that - what do you know about their culture?
>Maybe they believe that disclosing one’s name to a stranger gives him power over you, just as an old Griffon cusom.
"Please to meet you Anon."
>“Have a sit on a couch, I'll get you a drink. Don't want my guest to catch pneumonia.
"You have some pony medicine?"
>"I have something better"
>He smiles and goes to another room again.
>What a weird fellow.


And with that the slow start with setting and setup is mostly complete.

>>11520833
Well, i'm going to say.
Go with what you want, don't ask the thread, we all have different fetishes and likes, so it won't go anywhere.

>>11520863
Then I guess this isn't really the story for you man.
>No herd, we've seen too much of that shit.
>Implying you can have too many big happy families.

>>11520885
>>11520928
So, C right?
Or did I misunderstand.

>>11521010
No go, sorry.

>>11521042
It's Anon in Equestria, I'll put it here.
Don't like the idea of breaking everything up into specific sub-generals.

>>11521137
Yeah, it's looking that way.
I'll just pick one and go if it keeps just being people saying they don't want incest.

>>11521163
I'm >>11520928, and I meant B, actually. If you're going to do incest at all, I think it's better if it's a secret, forbidden and hidden relationship.

Either way, looking forward to it.

>>11521120
I like it.

>>11521163
Don't go ya jerk, i'd like to read what you have, plus we need the green.

>>11520833
Lyra, secret incest.

>>11520833
Secret incest sounds cute, little hope crushing on anon, but i don't like the idea of anon cheating on lyra.
Can it be everyone happy ending?

>>11520759
Fucking thank you man. I appreciate it.

>>11520833
I'm going with B here, senpai~

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>>11521243
Yeah, I think I can.
Anyway, at 0 - 3 - 2, I'll go with B and some mild tones of C.
Thanks guys, no more voting.

Guess I could save A for dad Anon's (non-sexual) adventures in parenting.