But then I won't be able to read ALL OF THE BOOKS IN THE WORLD!

>Thinking about suicide I just have to get over this inherent fear I have.

Read this yet, OP?

>>365747

May I prescribe you with "The Myth of Sisyphus"?

CRAAAAAWLING IIIIIIIN MY SKIIIIIIIIIIIIIN

THESE WOUUUUNDS THEY WIIIIIIIILL NOT HEEEEAL

Yeah, so? If your life feels meaningless, go forge some meaning. Do something to improve yourself and help others. No matter how useless you feel, no matter how useless you ARE, you can always do some good.

>>365762
>>365759

I don't want fucking books! I've read both of these. My whole point is that it doesn't matter. I need something tangible and physical to make me kill myself. That is the only obstacle. Lasting happiness that isn't superficial isn't an option.

>>365747
>I am sad to say, that I am forever sad.

Because you chose to be. At least try to do something about it because I'm pretty sure that posting on /lit/ doesn't count.

>>365786

I realize it's pathetic. But I have no other outlet and I am admittedly narcissistic despite my best efforts.

>>365781

If you truly wanted to commit suicide, you would be busy doing that, not telling a community of completely stranges (who can almost certainly not help you) about conundrum.

Thus it stands to reason that your suicidal tendencies have ulterior motives to them, and you should probably take to solving these motives as opposed to whining about them.

Look at it this way: nobody really cares about whether you're going to commit suicide or not, why you're going to do it, or what is the pathetic state of your meaningless life. Unless your kill yourself on cam. Then it's a hoot.

>>365786
>>365781
>Lasting happiness that isn't superficial isn't an option.
Wow, OP really does choose to be a sad sack of shit.

Take it to r9k.

A Cry for Attention by OP

>>365793
Don't give me that shit. You can develop a good outlook if you're willing to do some work. I used to be pessimistic as all fuck; now I'm significantly more optimistic.

>>365781
Fuck you. Suicide is literally the least intelligent thing a person can do, and you're a dumbfuck for considering it. I'm going to post cute things until I get bored or you rise above your angst for a bit.

Everyone seems to be missing the point. I just want someone to tell me how I can get over a fear to kill myself.

>>365802

This guy's little tangent made me feel like shit. Maybe more like that.

>>365747
came to the same conclusion OP, only I plan to make some sort of Aesthetic statement or work before I die, just because it's the lastthing I really haven't done that I still want to do. Aside from sowing some wild oats but that would be irresponsible of me.

anyways I plan to punch out before 24, but until then I plan on doing some hardcore zen buddhism
and lots and lots of meditation

you can always just go live on an island or a mountain instead of killing yourself too OP

Life can be fucking awesome if you allow it to be. Stop thinking about how bad you feel and go make yourself feel better.

>>365825

I'm not pessimistic necessarily. As ridiculous as it sounds I think I'm just being a realist in the context of my own life./ I'm not angry or critical, just tired.

>>365846

Your pictures are what I tried to describe as superficial. I could attain that kind of happiness just as easily with drugs. But I've tried that, doesn't help.

>>365832
>This guy's little tangent made me feel like shit. Maybe more like that.

If you need motivation to kill yourself, your life isn't worth ending.

>>365850
So says every pessimist, including myself. And you know what? You probably do see things more accurately than most optimists. Except this.

>>365859
Blah blah superficial. You sound like Holden Caulfield. Who gives a fuck if it's superficial? Happiness is happiness.

>>365846
FUCK YEAH, KITTENS.

>>365859
Drugs are also a stupid thing to use. The best way to make yourself happy is to make other people happy. Go give your spare change to a homeless guy. Quit moping and go volunteer at a soup kitchen. It's uncomfortable and full of disgusting and scary people and it's one of the best experiences you'll ever have if you make yourself go more than once.

>>365860

I'm a passive aggressive coward. Doesn't mean I'm unhappy.

>>365864

You sound like my mother who, along with others, became disenfranchised with my unwillingness to be reconciled and gave up.

>>365832
you'll never get over it fully, because you can never be certain what'll happen after. It's the basic fear of all mankind and you can out wit.


either you become so miserable with your life that you can no longer physically stand it

or the only way you will not fear death is if you willing give your life to a cause that you honestly think is greater and more important than yourself

good luck finding one of those

Seriously, if you feel terrible either do whatever work you have to do now or just go to sleep. Thinking about it is pointless and stupid. Mornings are always better.

4chan:
>We don't care about your stupid attention-whoring suicidal threats
>Come on, keep talking to us!

>>365882

You're right. I'll just do it. Peace

>>365879
Ooooh, you frustrated your mother. How badass and edgy. If you don't want to be helped and don't want to help yourself, that's your choice. It's just a choice that makes you no better than an illiterate beauty queen who smiles and flirts her way through life.

>>365883
>implying that 4chan is a collective consciousness
>>365874
This. Go out and help people. It doesn't have to be something life-changing, either. Any decent person will appreciate kindness.

>>365895
In case you're still here, I'm going to post a few more things. Because I do in fact care about your well-being, random stranger on the Internet whom I will never meet. I care enough that I'm going to stay on 4chan posting cute pictures instead of working on the problem sets for the classes I'm failing.

I can't control what you do. Only you can. Yes, you can fucking well control what you do. No matter how much your life sucks, you decide what to do next. Decide to help yourself and to help everyone else.

>>365747
you are correct OP

everything is superficial and transitory, every pleasure is passing and will only leave you with the cold comfort of a happier time

kill yourself if you want but just know that there are many other options like stoicism, extreme ascetism, and strict buddhism. You could live like Schopenhauer and Kant did. A lot early Greek philosophy is about how to live your life in the face of these facts. It's fucking tragic man, Oedipus

Did you ever think about how much people have given you? If you kill yourself, you waste so much time and love and effort and care. You subtract from the world, leaving a void in the hearts of everyone who ever cared about you. Which is more people than you think. Not just your family and friends; you're letting down every teacher whose class you sat through, every worker who helped build anything you walked upon, every farmer who produced any of the food you ate. No matter how little you think you can do to pay them back, if you just live you won't let their efforts go to waste.

>>365911
Seriously. Man the fuck up and take responsibility. You're 19 years old; take charge of your life for once.

>Le roi est mort, vive le roi.

It's a French proclamation for accession of the throne. It means: the king is dead, long live the king.

>>365917

Everyone is aware of these things, yet they continue to live. Wanting to kill yourself because you cannot apparently bear the "weight of the world" doesn't make you special or sensitive; it makes you an idiot.

So here's my point, OP. Live. Doesn't matter how much it sucks, it's better than dying. I wish I could do more to help you, and I hope your life gets more enjoyable. But no matter how much it sucks, live. It always ends up being worth it. May whatever you believe in bless you.

The whole point of knowledge is to apply it. Go out and put yours to good use. Political activism, literature reviews, anything. You need to do something constructive instead of only consuming knowledge.

>>365934
It doesn't make him an idiot

that moment will come, if it's 5 minutes in a noose from now or in 60 years. the minute will come when you no more moments to lose, and then the past and what you did will not matter a fig to, only that has receded into the unknowable chasms of the past

Troll.

>>365747

I receive blowjobs sometimes. that alone is plenty of reason to get out of bed in the morning.

>>365959

I gotta agree with this, albeit with little working experience of it. Maybe I'm not getting the true spirit of this, but let me try:

I am a very intelligent person (or at least above average), but I don't really do anything with that. After graduation I went off to college, didn't apply myself at all, remained very depressed, dropped out within the first 3 months, moved back to my home town, and got a shitty fast food job. There's nothing fulfilling about any of that.

I do, however, get an insane -- if short lived -- burst of satisfaction from solving problems I need to think my way through. Most of the examples I can come up with involve getting various aspects of technology to work the way I need them too.

Written out, I feel like I'm definitely way off point here, but hopefully it helps some anyway.

>>365850
>>365850

I often feel like this myself. My bouts come in bursts and you know, I both love the ups and the downs. Wish the best to you, OP.

>>365940
Not OP, but I wonder if it really always end up being worth it. I'm sure that for most people it does, and that speaks quite highly of the psychological "immune system" human beings have.

Most people can, over time, accept the situations they find themselves in and be happy with them. You could lose your job, go to jail, or lose a loved one and be happy again eventually. I don't even think this happiness is "fake" or somehow of an inferior quality to the happiness of getting what you want.

Being chronically depressed, however, I get the impression that this immune system, for whatever reason, doesn't function right in people like me. Some of them manage to be passing happy eventually, and some spend decades on meds and in therapy before finally an heroing anyway.

>>366035
OP here. My roommate and I find your insights interesting.

Sorry to everybody else for not killing myself. It may sound petty and obvious, but I didn't kill myself. Just got drunk and discussed intelligence and life. God, this sucks.

Read ten books in your life time and that's all you really need forever.

The literary craze is the overwhelming number of books. Don't worry about books. Just do things whenever you remember they exist.

I started reading books BECAUSE I was in your situation, op.

The pursuit of knowledge is what makes me happy.

Eh. As long as you're alive, you can do things. That's really what it boils down to.

>>366200
Deep, bro.

Read his Meditations OP. Realize you can work through this shit.

gay

>>365747
Why commit suicide, it's not like there is anything after you die, you just stop existing.

>>365747
read siddartha you stupid faggot

I think that what we can take with us from this thread is the observation that baby bats > kittens.

>>367380
yeah, this book so full of crap, its gonna push you over the edge...

>>367378
that's what makes it so appealing

Am I wrong for equating depression with stupidity?

>>367524
Am i wrong for equating ignorance with stupidity?

yeah, I know OP has read everything there is, but this attitude reminds me of Cees Notebooms "Rituals"... might make you realise that this is a really obnoxious attitude.
No wonder they made suicide a mortal sin (lol), punishable with an eternity in hell. Too bad that shit isnt real, because then the joke would be on you.

>>367524
>>367533
yes you are.

>>367524
Yes, yes you are.

>>367537
Nah.
Depression = stupidity.
If you were intelligent you would be active and unflappable.

Have sex with some hot ladies and smoke some weed bro

>>367545
yeah, because we all know that once the fucking is over we feel really good when thrown out of the brothel by a busy-bee whoremother...
And weed tends to intensify the mood youre already in when consuming....
So, both things in addition might give you one hell of blast before you decide to blast yourself afterwards...

Many of us have a people-shaped void in our lives that we try to fill with books, with songs, with games and food. No matter how much you consume and no matter how entertained you are, that void remains. It will not kill you, but it will leave you feeling hallow.

Personally, I like to put off filling that void until tomorrow.

>Cause really, apart from enjoying a book, we receive nothing
I pretty fine with it and that's why i read them.
What other did you faggot expect? Your mom will start to love you if you read enough?

>>367590
oh, so you mean depression comes only from the ineptitude to socially connect?

If you don't get anything from reading that's your fault for being an idiot.

>>367590
Duurrrrrrrrrrrrrrr entertainment duuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

>>367590
void in language of yours subconscious is probably vagina or anus.
By filling the void you subconsiusly think about filling your inside with cum, desire to fill it is your hidden lust.
By saying that you want to put off until tomorrow is that you try to displace those desires.

>>367628
no
>>367655
no u

i study classics and i've devoted a lot of time to reading latin and greek. I hear what you're saying. I feel fucking worthless

>>365832
>stopped reading thread after this post

I don't think you're afraid of killing yourself at all. I don't think you really want to.

I'm in the same situation as you OP, in fact I'm sitting here derping on 4chan thirty minutes before a therpist meeting. Although I moved past the depression, I had my little existential crisis and realized its all completely transitory and meaningless. In that I realized I wanted to create, I want to make a unique piece of meaningless matter in the world that others may apply meaning to who don't know the truth yet. Only problem is I can't concentrate on anything...for shit. Even the things I like. Apprechiate that you have the power to create and consume and that you can at least concentrate on either. I can do niether.

Actually, as a 23 year old female with a Bachelor's degree in English Literature and a concentration in Professional and Rhetorical Writing I find a great amount of fulfillment as a result of reading a truly great book and coming away from it with more than I went into the book with.

A good book should add to your view of the world, widen your horizons and maybe teach you a little bit more about yourself.

If you feel that books have no meaning and give you no fulfillment then maybe you need to turn somewhere else for that fulfillment.

Plus if you commit suicide over lack of fulfillment from books you just become an anhero to us all... maybe you should...

>>367872
<sexist remark>

>>367877
*Obligatory* sexist remark

>>367877
<witty retort>

>>367872
>Woman

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>>367872

Tits or gtfo, degree or not.

>'Cause really, apart from enjoying a book, we receive nothing.

UHH NO. I DO ALL KINDS OF STUFF I ENJOY, EMO.

Dennis Cooper "Ugly Man".

Go take a class. Or two, or three! Meet someone new. Get a new social group where you interact with ACTUAL people, not the /lit/ anons here. BE more by DOING more!

>>367986
is this what your therapist told you?

Try OATS and SQUATS