I just got hired as a writing tutor at my university.What should I expect?>pic related- trying not to get caught staring at tits and imagining raw dogging
Just try to remember that, no matter how terrible some of them are at writing, that the people you're helping are the good ones: self-starters trying to better themselves.Also, you probably shouldn't bang a student, even if you aren't their formal teacher. Look don't touch, brah.
I was hoping for a couple hundred stories of people who banged their students, embezzled cash, trolled relentlessly, and had no regrets.;_;
>>2827516fuck off sociopath
I taught writing at university.Expect a lot of fun and job fulfillment.I'm not even kidding.
Depends on the university you are at. The state colleges where I am, a kid can apparently graduate high school and still write essays that are one long-ass paragraph. Also, a lot of them are stuck in the five paragraph structured essay. Like "First," "Next" and all that jazz. Unfortunately a lot of high school kids just can't get an essay unless you make it like a fucking madlibs where you just insert certain info in spots in the essay.
>>2827516Embezzled cash from the English department? Bitch, you crazy.
>>2827910>Also, a lot of them are stuck in the five paragraph structured essay.That's because they continued to drill that shit into us all the way through high school and had us all convinced that was what we'd be expected to do in college, only longer and with better writing.
>>2827906Where did you teach?
I had planned on applying to be a tutor at my school in the fall, but opted to do a communications internship at a nonprofit. I think I made the right choice, because working on people with their writing is pretty challenging. Mighta been fun though, I dunno.
i went to the writing center at my school cuz the teacher required chicago style and i didn't have the book...the people there never fucking heard of it! not even the old dude who runs the place! i was like wow this place is retarded. i applied there for next semester they better hire me since i'm smarter than all of them but since i asked for help last semester they'll probably diss me, it's like hey you couldn't help and i STILL got an A in that glass so give me a fucking job cunts
>>2827919I teach tenth grade English. And let me tell you, if you're in a non-Accelerated classroom, most of those kids won't get an essay unless it's cookiecutter. I always emphasize for my small number of college-bound students that you can and should break out of that mold when you get comfortable with academic writing. You don't know sadness until you're reading and proofreading 100+ generic bullshit essays on your weekend.
Alright, here's a story from me>get to student's house>ring the doorbell for 5 minutes impatiently, no answer>finally student lets me in to her house>parents gone for holiday>she's wearing a bathrobe, naked, wet from the shower>she runs back upstairs>i sit down and start to lay out the work we'll do today, etc>she comes downstairs and right up behind me>sits down in my lap completely naked>welp>made $60 an hour fucking my underage student bareback>went for an hour, and STILL finished up an essay with her afterwards>got home and kissed my girlfriend>ate dinner>read proust
>>2827931cool story but i find it's veracity questionable
>>2827931that didn't happen
>>2827931I am thoroughly ashamed to say that that story gave me a boner.
>>2827932happened last december. It was winter break, working on an online course. she had nice tits, was a spoiled rich girl, parents were away in china, went clubbing and lost her LV bags like once every 2 weeks.I hated her. It was hate fucking for the most part, and I would bad mouth her to all my other students as an example of what not to follow.
>>2827934i didn't get a boner but i felt some blood pumping around down there
>>2827937i think you confused reality with a porno, maybe you fapped to this one too many times?http://www.youjizz.com/videos/horny-asian-schoolgirl-evelyn-lin-2347344.html
>>2827943I can even elaborate in more detail. We worked on an essay dealing with the Setting of An Incident on Owl Creek Bridge.I remember that day vividly. I stopped at the Chevron on the way home for a cup of hot chocolate.
>>2827931Here's another story>teach this really rich dude whose parents own a resort in the tropics>this dude has a banging indoor pool in his basement>used to go swimming with him on the weekend while going over Poetry terms>everytime he couldn't tell me the difference between synecdoche and metonymy, I'd make him take another lap>get invited over to his house by his dad for new years>get fucking loaded on Ballantine's 30 year scotch>black out>next thing I know, I'm home, being shaken awake by a taxi driver>I'm wrapped up in an old Burberry Trench coat>still have that coat in my closetat the end of the year>his father comes into the study where I teach his son and gifts me a bottle of Ballantine's 30 year, winks at me>drank that shit mixed with coffee
>>2827958shit i'm gonna have to get into tutoring rich pricks, do i need a masters?
>>2827964Nope. You need to be personable, good at self-marketing, and good at filling dead air with funny knowledgeable talk. Hope you know how to talk.
>>2827971well i can ramble on about obscure topics n shit but like small talk not so much
>>2827979Just smile a lot, and know when to push and pull a person (criticize and then balance that criticism with compliments).
You know, there's a really easy way of discovering what a person responds to: ask them."How do you study?""What are your strengths and weaknesses?""How are you about criticism?"Etc.It's not a difficult job. Why the fuck did you start a thread about it?
>>2827929i know that feel.i graded practice SAT essays for a long time. had no idea what shitty quality of writing passes for high school nowadays.>>2827919>thinks that a proper college-level term paper isn't an expanded version of the basic five-paragraph essayget a load of this retard
what the fuck is a 5 part essay or whatever, is this some british shit or something?
>>2828017It's American (or at least taught in American public schools)IntroArgument 1Argument 2Argument 3ClosingWhere the arguments are ordered from weakest to strongest.
>>2828028That's a really dumb way to make an argument ...You should have your strongest argument first. And whether you even have more than one argument is entirely reliant on the topic. Some topics don't need more than one fucking argument.CHRIST YOU MOOCANS MAKE ME LIVID.
>>2828036Strongest argument first is a good way to make an argument 1 on 1, but in writing, closing with your strongest point and then contextualizing it in the closing paragraph is a pretty good way to go.Also, this is high school education we're talking about.
>>2827933>>2827932it actually sounds very plausible, to someone who's done tutoring of high-school aged women at their parents' homes. sometimes they will get to wearing short athletic shorts & a tee-shirt without any underwear, making the latter fact quite apparent. try quizzing a sixteen-year-old on Greek mythology with the distinct smell of her vagina wafting upwards from her seat not 3 feet from your nostrils.OP, you'll become quite accustomed to quickly shifting your glance between her eyes and boobs, whenever she looks toward you or away from you.
>>2828051>making the latter fact quite apparent*taking obvious effort to make the latter fact quite apparent
>>2828051>OP, you'll become quite accustomed to quickly shifting your glance between her eyes and boobs, whenever she looks toward you or away from you.that girl I was talking about always wore the most distractingly low cut shirtswhat a slut. It was delicious finally fucking her after half a year of tension
>>2828051>the distinct smell of her vaginaYeast infections.
>>2828071damn, suspected it might be some bacterial or fungal shit, as that did strike me as unusual, even at that range.
