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/lit/ - Literature
Text Board: /book/

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File: 1335764015.jpg-(33 KB, 400x266, 886e77f5e3e62ac8f7ddfc706b20633e_400x100(...).jpg)

Anonymous 04/30/12(Mon)01:33 No.2604000

An atheist, communist, ACLU lawyer professor was teaching a class on Karl Marx. “Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and accept that Marx was the most highly-evolved being the world has ever known, greater than Jesus Christ!” At this moment, a brave, patriotic, pro-life Navy SEAL stood up, holding a rock. “How old is this rock, professor?” The arrogant professor smirked and smugly replied “4.6 billion years, you stupid Christian.” “Wrong. It’s been 5,000 years since God created it. If it was 4.6 billion years old and evolution, as you say, is real… then it should be an animal now.” The professor was visibly shaken. He dropped his chalk and stormed out of the classroom. The students applauded and all registered Republican. An eagle flew into the room and perched atop the American Flag and shed a tear on the chalk. That flag waves until this day, despite the lack of wind in the classroom. Semper Fi.

This happened a couple of months ago in a San Diego university, I'm thinking about writing a short story on this.

Any suggestions guys?

>>	Anonymous 04/30/12(Mon)01:35 No.2604004 File: 1335764112.png-(55 KB, 290x288, 1334551400255.png)

>>	Anonymous 04/30/12(Mon)01:36 No.2604008 >>2604004 Why

>>	Anonymous 04/30/12(Mon)01:39 No.2604013 i actually think this is pretty good, but don't see how it could be extended usefully what are your plans with it? talking about the navy seal's life, the prof's...?

>>	Anonymous 04/30/12(Mon)01:41 No.2604016 >>2604013 A satire,

>>	Anonymous 04/30/12(Mon)01:42 No.2604020 The idiocy and pseudo-logic of OP's post has shaken my faith in humanity to the core.

>>	Anonymous 04/30/12(Mon)01:43 No.2604023 >>2604016 YOU DON'T SAY AND WHAT ELSE YOU FUCK

>>	Anonymous 04/30/12(Mon)01:46 No.2604024 File: 1335764817.jpg-(51 KB, 499x500, 9cyPFQbgCnrhuk16HVmUN2kCo1_500.jpg) Well I like it.

German Girl !!t3wl7shwMsZ 04/30/12(Mon)01:48 No.2604025

An American wake; A novel about young boy who bacame a Republican, a radical transformation from a bizzare stream of conciousness point of view, who also happens to be a very lively and comic boy.

Go for it op, become the next great American satirist of our generation. By all means use my idea.

>>	Anonymous 04/30/12(Mon)01:52 No.2604036 Sounds like boring postmodern ironic tripe.

>>	Anonymous 04/30/12(Mon)01:53 No.2604040 >can't understand basic internet irony and satire >claim to understand proper literature

>>	Anonymous 04/30/12(Mon)01:54 No.2604044 >>2604040 this.

>>	Anonymous 04/30/12(Mon)01:57 No.2604049 I raged a little. >mfw this actually happens in 'murikkka

>>	Anonymous 04/30/12(Mon)01:59 No.2604054 Its a slight alteration on an email thats been bouncing around old people's inboxes for years. I liked the version where the SEAL threw the rock at the teacher more, but not as much as the one where the rock's name was Albert Einstein.

>>	Anonymous 04/30/12(Mon)02:08 No.2604075 >>2604054 I far prefer the versions where the eagle is known as "small government", and the professor is also a muslim and a practicing abortion doctor.

>>	Anonymous 04/30/12(Mon)02:13 No.2604082 But this shit actually goes down in the US

>>	Anonymous 04/30/12(Mon)02:15 No.2604084 OP your post made me lol solid satire SOLID!

>>	Anonymous 04/30/12(Mon)02:16 No.2604088 >>2604084 >implying this pasta isn't older than you

>>	Anonymous 04/30/12(Mon)02:17 No.2604091 nice pasta faggot ive seen it a million times before cut that shit out ps there is this one then there is another where the army guy punches out the professor

>>	Anonymous 04/30/12(Mon)02:22 No.2604100 >>2604000 Why wouldn't the professor just say "that's not how evolution works"?

>>	Dicks 04/30/12(Mon)02:26 No.2604108 >>2604100 Because you can't into obvious sarcasm.

>>	Anonymous 04/30/12(Mon)02:27 No.2604111 >>2604100 Because the professor didn't write it.

>>	Anonymous 04/30/12(Mon)02:28 No.2604113 >>2604108 That's not how sarcasm works.

>>	Anonymous 04/30/12(Mon)02:29 No.2604115 >>2604113 You either.

>>	Anonymous 04/30/12(Mon)02:30 No.2604116 >>2604115 nice.

>>	Anonymous 04/30/12(Mon)02:35 No.2604124 >>2604054 Can you post a sincere version? >>2604100 Because that's not how propaganda satire works.

Anonymous 04/30/12(Mon)19:34 No.2605602

>>2604124
You wait for his body to stop convulsing and return to your task, one hand sealed around his base while the other begins to stroke him with firm, steady motions, sliding over the pebbly surface of his dick's nubs. Your victim continues his begging and crying, but you don't let up as you pause to gather his escaped precum and smear it over his tip. Zetaz pants and groans, trembling and swelling in your hand from your efficient hand-job. Spitting on your palm, you bump up the tempo and begin to stroke him hard and fast, sliding over his cockring-swollen prick with practiced, deliberate motions.

Anonymous 04/30/12(Mon)19:38 No.2605606

An atheist liberal pacifist democrat evolutionist muslim feminist
socialist gay jew communist catholic unionist abortionist professor
(and a member of the ACLU) was bitching at a college class and she
told the class that she was a strong independent menstruating womyn
and going to prove that there is no GOD (peace be upon him). She
screamed, "GAWD, if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this
platform. I'll give you 15 human minutes!"

Ten earth minutes went by. She kept taunting God (peace be upon him),
saying, "Here I am, GAWD. I'm still waiting. Is my vagina too much for
your patriarchy?"

She got down to the last couple of minutes and a marine just returned
from the American Revolution and honorably discharged and newly
registered in every class backflipped up to the professor, hit her
full force in the face with a spinning flying drop kick (with metal as
fuck jet-boots on), and sent her flying from her platform through two
panes of glass, a pile of cans, a young mother pushing a baby
carriage, a nun and a pile of boxes. The professor struggled up,
obviously shaken, with three broken legs, two broken arms, a broken
jaw, a broken skull, 12 broken ribs, internal bleeding and a missing
spine. She bitched, "What's the matter with you? Why did you do that?
Are you afraid of a strong womyn?"
That marine replied, "GOD (peace be upon him) was busy watching over
MY buddies engaged in combat in the coke wars. So... he... sent...
ME!!!"

That professor was Richard Elizabeth "Silly Lizzy" Dawkins. That
college class was The Beatles. That young mother was Mother Teresa.
That nun was Sarah Palin. That marine's name? Albert Einstein.

>>	Anonymous 04/30/12(Mon)20:45 No.2605716 And by the way, that student's name was Albert Einstein!

>>	Anonymous 04/30/12(Mon)22:44 No.2606064 >>2605606 >That marine's name? Albert Einstein. Biggest shit eating grin on my face.

Anonymous 05/01/12(Tue)00:17 No.2606318

OMG ECKS DEE CONSERVITAVES ARE STOOPID BECAUSE THE MEDIA SAIS SO XDDDDD!!!!

LETS USE FALLECIES TO GENERALIZ AN ENTIR DEMOGRAPHIC OF PPL!!!!

OMG DUDE DO U HAV ANY WEEDZ????? 420 SMOK DAT SHIT BRO!!!

OMG

XDDD

I'M

SO

HIGH

OMG COMMUNISM JUS WERKZ RIGHT GUYS I'M SO YOUNG AND SMARTS LOLZ!!!

OMG

XDDD

I'M

SO

HIGH

OMG COMMUNISM JUS WERKZ RIGHT GUYS I'M SO YOUNG AND SMARTS LOLZ!!!

>>	Anonymous 05/01/12(Tue)00:24 No.2606345 >>2606318 >LETS USE FALLECIES TO GENERALIZ AN ENTIR DEMOGRAPHIC OF PPL!!!! That's what you're doing to yourself right now, pal.

>>	shut up, cunt shut up 05/01/12(Tue)00:27 No.2606352 >>2606345 shut up, cunt

>>	Anonymous 05/01/12(Tue)00:35 No.2606373 I really wished most lit fans weren't braindead libtards apply that critical theory to your own stupid ideology holy shit

>>	Anonymous 05/01/12(Tue)00:39 No.2606384 >>2606373 That's what they do.

>>	Anonymous 05/01/12(Tue)00:41 No.2606390 >>2604004 yeah god forbid someone actually post something that's funny. OP i laughed. gg

>>	Anonymous 05/01/12(Tue)00:43 No.2606393 >>2606318 No, it's not because the media says so, it's because they're natural born peasants. Baby, you were born to run.

>>	Anonymous 05/01/12(Tue)00:43 No.2606394 >>2606390 see >>2604088

>>	Anonymous 05/01/12(Tue)00:45 No.2606399 File: 1335847503.jpg-(35 KB, 300x226, 133080033793238.jpg) >>2604000 >>2605606 >mfw I don't care about politics or religion and these made me giggle.

>>	Anonymous 05/01/12(Tue)01:41 No.2606510 >>2606318 >>2606352 Your jimmies sound rustled.

>>	Anonymous 05/01/12(Tue)01:42 No.2606512 >>2606373 They do, and they draw the appropriate conclusions. Scientists too. What's wrong, conservatard? Butthurt because you're on the dumb side of the Bell curve?

>>	Anonymous 05/01/12(Tue)01:46 No.2606521 Saw it was bullshit as soon as San Diego popped up. All the bible-thumping faggotry is East coast shit.

>>	Anonymous 05/01/12(Tue)01:47 No.2606525 >>2606512 English major detected.

>>	Anonymous 05/01/12(Tue)01:57 No.2606548 >>2606525 This "detected" bullshit has to stop. Hella boring, yo.

>>	Anonymous 05/01/12(Tue)02:00 No.2606555 >>2606548 When you take yourselves so seriously you have to expect people to poke fun at you.

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