> implying God has to be magnanimous in anyway
> implying all Christians worship God
> mfw you're a faggot

I only worship Zeus.

God can do whatever the fuck he wants.

Deal with it.

>God has to be what I believe he is
>Bible says God does this instead
>THEIR BELIEF IS SHIT BECAUSE IT DOESN'T MATCH MY BELIEFS
Great argument here OP

>God can do whatever the fuck he wants.

No he can't, if he abides to Christian conceptions of God.

> makes a bet with Satan to ruin some guy's life

That sounds badass as fuck. How could you not worship that? Shit, with stuff like that going down I'm surprised more people aren't worhsipping

>>2599878

Wrong. Not all Christians rigidly observe scripture or even worship God.

>>2599878
>abide by Christian conceptions of God
Please explain, because the Bible is kind of, you know, where the Christian God comes from.

OP here. Never once did I say all Christians worship God. I just said that people worship him, which can mean anything.

>>2599882
The story is basically

-God bets Job won't stop believing in him
-Job is mad, wishes he was never born, is angry with God, but still communicates with God
-Job's friends all say Job is guilty for the troubles in his life, when he is not
-God comes down, tells Job he doesn't really know shit

Book teaches you that
-Troubles in your life may not be because of a bad deed you did
-You can be honest with God, even if you are mad or disappointed in him
-You don't know shit about the universe

>>2599883
>Christian
>Not worshiping God

Not a real Christian.

>>2599896
Now explain what you mean by the Book of Job is bullshit

Job's children are in Heaven, and Jesus Christ was ascended to Heaven shortly after the resurrection. Makes a bit more sense once you remember the whole glorious afterlife part of the deal, doesn't it?

chooooo choooo someone got hit by the retarded train

>>2599899
All of which are important things to learn about life.

The Book of Job is one of the best in the Bible and one of the LEAST bullshit ones.

>>2599866

The god of abraham is pretty badass, even though he's a myth and all. If i were jehovah, i would do the same shit.
I would make people's heads explode and shit just to make people know that i am the lord.

You know there are verses in the bible that show god's affinity for scat.

Ezekial 4

9“Take wheat and barley, beans and lentils, millet and spelt; put them in a storage jar and use them to make bread for yourself. You are to eat it during the 390 days you lie on your side. 10Weigh out twenty shekelsb of food to eat each day and eat it at set times. 11Also measure out a sixth of a hinc of water and drink it at set times. 12Eat the food as you would a barley cake; bake it in the sight of the people, using human excrement for fuel.” 13The Lord said, “In this way the people of Israel will eat defiled food among the nations where I will drive them.”

14Then I said, “Not so, Sovereign Lord! I have never defiled myself. From my youth until now I have never eaten anything found dead or torn by wild animals. No unclean meat has ever entered my mouth.”

15“Very well,” he said, “I will let you bake your bread over cow manure instead of human excrement.”

16He then said to me: “Son of man, I will cut off the supply of food in Jerusalem. The people will eat rationed food in anxiety and drink rationed water in despair, 17for food and water will be scarce. They will be appalled at the sight of each other and will waste away because ofd their sin.

>>2599924

http://www.landoverbaptist.org/news0505/biblepoopquiz.html

here's a bible quiz, you could take /lit/

>>2599901

Wrong

>>2599901
>>2599954
>>2599883
Wtf are you even talking about? Christians worship God. It's kind of what they're best known for. Elaborate or GTFO.

>>2599954

Right.

The greatest of all commandments is to love your God with all your soul and all your strength.

Either you have no idea what Christianity is or you buy into a twisted version of it that isn't actually Christianity. In either case, you are wrong.

>>2599870
wtf the christian god is magnanimous. christians do worship the christian god. this is a criticism against the christian god. your comment makes no sense.

>>God can do whatever the fuck he wants.

You know theists should just scrap all reasoning and justification. This sentence is the end. That's it. No more is needed.

It's sad to see what passes for trolling these days.

The only message in Job is that everybody is going to suffer no matter what they do. Being pious is about being thankful for being alive. In order to create life, God had to create elements that have both positive and negative aspects, because life is formed from a perfect balance of those elements. I wonder how many people in here have actually read the book. I've recently read it twice for an Independent Project to finish of my religious studies major. I suggest you take a serious look at all of the nature imagery in that book before making any sort of inferences. Also, God is talking to Satan, but that's just Hebrew for "the adversary", there is nothing christian about it. Also, you may want to look up "the Babylonian Job", a Mesopotamian story that is pretty much the exact same thing, predating Job. That story is pretty much where Job is derived from, because the Hebrews went through a period of displacement that's referred to as "the Babylonian Exile" somewhere around 1000-900 bce. Also interesting because the book only refers to god as "Yahweh" twice and "Elohiem" the rest of the times. Eloheim is a reference to one of the heads of the babylonian pantheon. There's too much going on there for anybody to really say anything concrete. And anything christians say about it is irrelevant because it was written way before christianity existed, and, before anybody jumps on me about not knowing christian interp of the Hebrew Bible, i do, i just think that they are retarded for it. Also, I'm an Atheist.

>>2599970
mate that is what a jew is. have you even read the words of jesus? he will tell you what the greatest commandment is.

I like Alan Watts' reading of Job
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H1LzVN8nqg0#t=1m47s

>>2600007
Have you ever heard of the holy trinity? If they worship Jesus then they worship God. Deal with it.

>>2600012

Not all Christian sects acknowledge the doctrine of the Trinity.

>>2599873
this

>>2600012

Not all Christians worship the Holy Trinity dick face. Heard of Unitarianism?

>>2600025
>Unitarianism
>real Christians

I arrived just in time

>>2600020
That's a retarded response in this context. the church has built up over thousands of years an image of a consistent creator figure. Don't you think if 'god can do whatever the fuck he wants' was an adequate solution, they'd just have gone with that?
so many retards trying so hard not to be hateful atheists. Your attempt to be diplomatic is actually more destructive than atheist fundamentalism. tolerance openness and liberalism is a pretty fucked up policy

>>2600042
God does what he wants, the church isn't about determining what God is and is not allowed to do. It's more about what man is allowed and not allowed to do.

>>2599995
>In order to create life, God had to create elements that have both positive and negative aspects, because life is formed from a perfect balance of those elements.
Citation Needed
> I wonder how many people in here have actually read the book.

>>2600048
you can't separate those two things into what god is and what the church wants it to be. the only things we know of god is through the church. the bible is the church.

>>2600058
Okay, and in the Bible God pretty much does what he wants.

>>2600065

The Bible was written by man. It could say what the fuck it likes and it still wouldn't be the word of God.

>>2600071
it doesn't matter what god does. it only matters how it's received by the church. to man, god is doing everything that he wants but what he wants is always good.

>>2600071
oh boy, we're arguing who wrote the bible now, which has nothing to do with what the bible says of God, being that he pretty much does as he likes

>>2600010
alan watts has a great epigrammatic style but most of what he says doesn't actually lend itself to epigram like oscar wilde or whoever else. he talks of much more ambiguously confounding subjects so to shorten it down to these soundbites only makes it seem pseudo-philosophical.

>>2600076

Negative.
I'm saying the bible doesn't define God's behaviour. It was written by a bunch of dudes who still thought antisemitism, bigotry and slavery were cool things. The last two parts of your sentence make no sense. Check your syntax.

>>2600076
>Who wrote it has nothing to do with what is says!

I never facepalm, but I just did.

>>2600056
I would need to cite the whole book. That general theme is all over the place.

>>2600080
>I'm saying the bible doesn't define God's behaviour
Aight, that's a bit different from saying
>God can't do what he wants vs God does what he wants
>>2600083
>Who wrote it has nothing to do with what is says!
Arguing if Frodo went to Mordor or not is quite a bit independent of who wrote it. It's still written that Frodo went to Mordor.

I never facepalm, but I just did

>>2600086
>arguing interpretations with authority

>people arguing about the biblical god as if it informs a tenth of later christian conceptualization

Argue with the Catholic fathers and successive revolutionaries. The Hebrews (and later Jews) didn't even agree. Read any literature on the documentary hypothesis, or just basically understand history.

This thread is /lit/ plebcore at its finest.

>>2600093

> Frodo Mordor analogy

How does that even make sense? So everything ever written is totally the truth and there's no such thing as an unreliable narrator. Everything ever written is true.

>>2600101
>unreliable narrator
Haha, oh boy we're going this route with the Bible. I guess even though the Bible is intended to bascially give rules for men to live by, we should remember that the narrator could be unreliable. I admit I can't argue against that.

>>2600109

>your reply

In the wider context of literature, you're still wrong.

You're assigning properties to God that are meaningless in this context, OP. You express anger that has no exterior source: Your anger at God and his (its) followers comes from inside you. You have a very narrow view of this topic, and you should leave it to those of us who are better read and more literate.

>>2600117
>still arguing
I admitted that I can't argue with your logic bro. Why are you still trying to win?

>>2600123

Because I have nothing better to do on a Saturday night. What's your excuse.