lololol why didn't anyone.. tell him?

>Nobody but me and the other bookfags read them.
Every year of my high school life. HEY ANON WHAT WAS THIS BOOK ABOUT? I just told them to piss off and most of the people in my classes flunked and had to retake a lower level English course.

Hey, I read that story! It was good. The guy was clearly the devil.

I did my 11th grade term paper on Oates, I remember that book.

The story was "Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?", and I believe it was all a dream...

>>216294
oooh i read that for a creative writing course, it was fun times, man.

here's one: i joined my school's shakespeare club because guess what? i actually liked shakespeare. it turned out everyone else in it just loved drama class and complaining about the "cool kids" and sucking up to our awful english teacher, who would use the club as an excuse to pretend she was a hip college professor instead of a dried-up old babysitter teaching shiftless idiots.

I had a teacher in highschool that pronounced Don Juan Don Jew-wan. She used to misinterpret poetry and when I would try to have a debate with her about it using textual evidence, etc, she would come back with 'well everyone can interpret poetry in their own way'

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGE

Failed 7 out of 8 semesters of english class. It didn't matter if I wrote my heart out, I spent more hours of homework per hour of class for english than any other class, or wrote nothing at all. I'd get a D- at best. I'd comprehend the reading material backwards and forwards but besides a few select books such as The Great Gatsby, I couldn't stand what I was reading. I hated it all.

By the end of it, I couldn't figure out why it was so important that so many needed that sort of "education" in public school while so many remained clueless of the basics of physics and science.

I once wrote an essay on how silent RPG protagonists are used to suck the player into the story. Got an A- but the teacher wanted to read the essay out loud. I promptly declined in the fear of being labeled as a nerd.

i wrote all of my essays 8 hours before they were due and never got less than a B+ on them. i was pro at BSing

>>216512

I'm not seeing what's wrong with individual interpretation of a creative work.

>>216512
that's how it's supposed to be pronounced, you retard

I picked two trilogies for one of my final essays, wrote them without reading two of the books(except for a little skimming to find some quotes) and did fucking excellently on it(don't remember how much exactly).

Crazy teacher taught The Stranger without ever mentioning Absurdism or Existentialism. ("It's obvious guys, Mersault was insane and killed the arab because the sun was shining. I mean who doesn't cry at their mom's funeral? Crazy people.")

Anyways I explained in my 8 page essay that the book represented the existential meaning of life. I got a 72%, appealed to the other english teacher and had my note changed to a 96%.

In all though, that class was pretty funny. Just hearing that women misinterpreting texts was worth my time in the class, and after my first essay on The Stranger she just passed me no matter what I wrote. I remember for my last essay deciding "fuck it" and coming up with some crazy theory about how Gregor in The Metamorphosis chose to be a bug to reject society. I quoted Timothy Leary and Terrence McKenna and got an A-.

>go on board for people who love reading
>admit to not reading
>why the fuck are you here

>>216598
herp da derp, everyone did that you troglodyte.

>>216608

You must have been absolutely insufferable in high school.

I'm willing to bed you still are, too.

>>216608
Your post
>refer to opening image

>>216618
Freudian slip brought on by how tired I am?!

Perhaps.

I have corrected a lot of my teachers when they use "your" where they should be using "you're". I think it says a lot that I'm supposedly going to the most prestigious high school in the Valley and there are spelling and grammatical errors on the assignments.

>>216608
>Gregor in The Metamorphosis chose to be a bug to reject society. I quoted Timothy Leary and Terrence McKenna and got an A-.
Oh what the hell. /psychadelics/-fag here.
Drugs are no excuse for ignorance.
>>216618
You'd bed him?

Junior year the class was split into four-student groups; each group picked an author, each group member read one of the author's books, and then the group created a five-minute demonstration of what the author had done and why they were influential/important/canonical.

My group picked Isaac Asmiov and the teacher vetoed the choice because he wasn't a "real author" and science fiction wasn't "real literature."

After a lot of arguing we were finally allowed to go ahead with the project and we did a pretty damn good job of it, too, but there were a few days of seriously what did you just say?

>>216635
Pick Rand.
Write some horrible bullshit.
A+
?

>>216635
GAH

>>216631
>omg lol thers a typo lolololol such wit if i comment on it IM BRANE GOD ALL BOW B4 MAI STUPINDUS SYNAPSID FURY

>>214525
why don't you kids like the violent stories?

>>216635
>implying that hard scifi is in any way comparable to the work of true authors like Baudelaire

>>216650
>implying asimov only wrote scifi

>>216650

Who?

>>216655
>implying he didn't

>>216660
>let's quit this implying bullshit and provide sources
>http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Isaac_Asimov
>Isaac Asimov (born Isaac Yudovich Ozimov, Russian: Исаак Юдович Озимов; c. January 2, 1920[1] – April 6, 1992), was an American author and professor of biochemistry at Boston University, best known for his works of science fiction and for his popular science books. Asimov was one of the most prolific writers of all time, having written or edited about 500 books and over 9,000 letters and postcards.[2] His works have been published in nine of the ten major categories of the Dewey Decimal System (the sole exception being the 100s: philosophy and psychology).[3]
>wikipedia is the best i can do but fuck you if you don't like it.

>>216650
>implying Asimov wrote hard scifi

>>216658
>If rape or arson, poison or the knife
>Has wove no pleasing patterns in the stuff
>Of this drab canvas we accept as life—
>It is because we are not bold enough!

Not the best translation, but meh.

>>216669
>using Wikipedia as a source

>>216660

>>216648
My english teacher threw a chair at the class fat dumb slut one day for being particularly stupid.

>>216680
>here's another source. notice all the not scifi.
>http://www.asimovonline.com/oldsite/asimov_catalogue.html
>douchebag

>>216685
Holy shit man, fantasy is so much better than scifi! It's a genre rife with the loftiest of accolades! Why, dare I say it's the most literary of all genres?!

Fuck off.

>>216675

And that's better than Asimov's stuff how?

>>216694
>implying one of the greatest 19th century poets is in any way rivaled by Asimov

o u

>>216696
>implying poets matter

>>216696

>It's good because it's old.

I love it when the fags go "Well [genre of choice] is childish you should read [genre of choice]!"

>>216703
>it's good because it's a Will Smith movie

the whole implying thing is really passive-aggressive. that's pretty irritating to read.

>>216707
nobody who read and enjoyed the book I, Robot enjoyed the movie I, Robot. They are about as far apart in genre as they can possibly be.

>>216711
>I cannot admit my lust for nigger dick

>>216715
that's not what i said at all

>>216717
>I am unaware of the various Freudian subtexts in all my posts that hint towards my lust for giant black dicks in my ass.

>>216723
stop doing that

>>216724
>Kiss me, you fool!

>>216723

You don't need a > in front of that.

>>216726
>>216724

Just fuck already god damn

>>216726
srsly, it hurts my feelingz

Grade 12 English, final group project. Get assigned to a group of 3 made up of me, the student council president, and a complete retard.

President: "Yeah, I'm super busy and can't work on this assignment that much... you two do something."
Retard: "HURRR DURRR"
Me: Does all the work.

Project is handed in and presented (it was an essay + a presentation). Grades get assigned.

President: 100%
Retard: 100%
Me: 80%, note from teacher: "I don't believe you carried your weight in the group"

>>216740
that just sucks

>>216740
Pretty much my experience in everything related to teachers.
20 billion hours of research.
>I don't believe you spent enough time researching.

>>216747
As an aside, I was born in Brazil and that teacher spent a year in Brazil on an exchange when he was 17. At every opportunity, he would mention, with great sorrow, how he should have been much taller than he turned out to be, if not for a VITAMIN E DEFICIENCY induced by eating Brazilian food for a year.

High School English teachers are the scum of the earth.

>>216758
yeah, i had a teacher in high school who never gave A's on essays, ever. she had some retarded fucking standards that no student could ever reach

When I was 17, I once quoted Nietche on Lit class. The teacher slapped me and yelled "Friedrich Nietsche was the guy who thought up German Nazism in and I am slapping you for all the jews!"
It may have something to do with me living in Czech, but hey...

>>216779
epic teacher

>>216779

LUL

>>216779
Oh, that would have been hilarious to see.

>>216786
>>216807
>>216828
I myself was not sure if she wasn't right at the time, so I went home asked dad, he lol'd and then raged.
As the time passes, I realize more and more the amount of stupidity that teacher had to posses.

After some text about nukes being evil

Teacher: Nuclear weaspons of mass destruction are bad, okay? They can kill lot's of people.
Me: Those are only items, they have no inherent value of goodnes or evil, only people using them can be judged this way. Even if we did try to judge nukes as good or evil, Isn't it that those weapons were used only to end a very brutal war swiftly, and are now serving as peacekeepers, because no one is insane enough to provoke a war and risk nuclear retaliation, wouldn't that mean they are good?
Teacher:...derp

Seriously, I did never get a coherent response from my teacher. Any thought that tried defying her worldwiev or opinions presented as facts was a lost case.

>>216779

>Nietche
>Nietsche

God damn it.

>Study Dead Poet's Society in high school
>Asked to write a speech incorporating a poem that is relevant to the movie
>Supposed to be dramatic
>Every fucker just stands on their desk when its their turn
>"Oh captain, my captain!"
>facepalm hard

>>216877
Sorry about that. People in my country are even able to write it "Nýče" though.

>>216875

>Isn't it that those weapons were used only to end a very brutal war swiftly, and are now serving as peacekeepers, because no one is insane enough to provoke a war and risk nuclear retaliation, wouldn't that mean they are good?

Wow, you've manages to demonstrate a complete ignorance of history AND post-ww2 foreign relations, all in one sentence. Bravo.

>>216875

>implying something that killed hundreds of thousands of people can possibly be construed as positive

i never read any of the assigned reading instead i wrote essays about the books i was reading at the time and just changed the characters names and setting around. I would always get A's and people that worked much harder than me would fail.

I had a history teacher who would only skim papers so i turned in identical papers as my study group. we all got different grades.

A female geography teacher who just came from America at the time taught me, that Hungary shares a border with Germany. While pointing at Austria.
Well, she was blonde so what would you expect.

>>216909
of course nukes had nothing to do with making japan surrender, and we obviously had armed conflicts between nuclear superpowers.

>>216917
Of course it can. Besides, whole argument was designed as opposite view to teachers opinion, in hope of her presenting arguments justyfing her opinion. In order to do that I presented opposite view with more or less accurate argument, while all the teacher was able to do was "It's so because I say so, now sit down".

>>216974
>of course nukes had nothing to do with making japan surrender, and we obviously had armed conflicts between nuclear superpowers.
...dear god this is retarded.

bump for justice

Substitute teacher:

>I see you're reading 'Romeo & Juliet' this week. Oh, it's my favorite book of Shakespeare's. And there are so many great lines, like, "A rose is a rose and a name is a name," and, "Romeo, Romeo, where are you Romeo?"

>>217120

>where are you Romeo?

>>217151
>>217141
Yeah, it was a long week.

I had gone to a Catholic elementary and middle school from 3rd to 8th grade. I also went to a Catholic high school in 9th and 10th grade. I went to a public school in 11th and 12th.

Catholic schools pump out more atheists and agnostics than public schools. I look at my high school yearbooks and see that in the public school, the seniors are all thanking God for their accomplishments, getting them through school, etc, while in the Catholic school yearbooks the only references to God are the ones put in there by the administration. I reconnect with the people I knew from the middle school and both high schools over Facebook and such, and find that a huge, disproportionate number of people from the Catholic schools are agnostic or atheist, while most everyone from the public school is as religious as ever.

>>217175
I had the same bit happen with high schools. As for the whole Catholics being not so Christian, look at it this way. A lot of kids are sent to private schools because they're supposed to be smarter. Furthermore, they delve into the theology of christianity while attending those schools. The logical conclusion: because of their prolonged exposure, they realize something is really fucking flawed with the church and the religion as a whole.

tl;dr it just takes a little understanding of the religion to realize what a load of shit it is.

>>217175
Opening from the valedictorian's message in one of my HS yearbooks:

>I want to thank God for being a young girl fortunate enough to attend such a great institution of learning.

I had a retarded young female teacher that was very popular because she was hot. She too went with the "they'll like this book because it is violent" approach.

Up until this point I had read literally everything ever assigned in English class. She assigned some book by an African guy about a clan war or something. Every 4th word was unpronounceable African.

No one in class made it more then 50 pages in. She didn't want to give up so she just told us what happened and what would be on the test.

Without a doubt the teacher I wanted to cunt punt more then any other.

>>216711
>>216715
>>216717
>>216723
>>216724
>>216726
Please screen cap this, someone.

>>217209
Things Fall Apart? I liked that book, but we kept pausing during the reading segments because we would either have to stop to pronounce some of the tougher words, or break into laughter every time someone mentioned foo-foo.

The devout - Catholic highschool form tutor with her head up her ass (who almost ruined 'Heart of Darkness for me) I mentioned on countless occasions here appericated a single author that did not live by the rules she thought sacred.
It was Francois Villon. Now I think that she forgave him because of these pious ballads he wrote to make everyone believe in his redemption. Anyway, the horror thought her poetry reading skills were outstanding... therefore, she spent two weeks reading The Great Testament out loud to us, so pleased with herself that I wondered if she fapped to the memory later.
The pain of hearing her slaughtering the works of my most - beloved rogue tore my mind to pieces.

>>217194
hah, true this is my experience.
I went to a really good catholic school- unfortunately they taught us about world religions and philosophy and for most of us, the penny dropped

>>217120

My favourite line is in the first scene, when Benvolio offers Romeo a whore.

>>217344
Tibalt, thou rat - catcher, will you walk?

>>217241

>>217344

I can't fucking read Romeo and Juliet because Benvolio just vanishes into nothingness. God damn it, if he'd been there he could have fixed the whole thing.

>>217430
err... everything shakespeare did, he did on purpose. the story couldn't have worked otherwise.

>>217430
Of course Benvolio got the fuck out of there. He is the only one that profited from what happened.

Everybody asked me for the details of the books before the tests. Naturally, they all failed and I always aced the exam.

Oh and my teachers loved me.

>>217441
shakespeare ( notice I dont capitalise his name) was a hack

>>217456
Whoa, man! That's like so edgy!

>notice I dont capitalise his name

Oh no, YOU DIDN'T!

>>217458
I don't agree with the guy, but I have to say that people idolize Shakespeare far too much.

>>216576
Not only a nerd, but an idiot as well.

>>217462
this

He wrote the pulp of the 1500s

Every day when I got on the bus in highschool these same three kids would ask me what happened in the reading last night. Being a socially akward eager to please little twit I would always tell them, until the day before the exam, at which point I said that Great Expectations ends with Pip having a child with Biddy and watching Estella jump out of a third story window. I was switching schools anyway so I never saw them again.

>>217348
'tis not so deep as a well, nor so wide as a church door; but 'tis enough, 'twill serve. Ask for me to-morrow, and you shall find me a grave man. I am peppered, I warrant, for this world. A plague o' both your houses!

>>217469
Then the quality of pulp has dramatically declined since then.

I'm a Dutchfag, and I have a raging hatred for contemporary Dutch literature. There seems to be no basis for what is considered literature and what isn't, which is something I argued about with my teachers. All of them just told me to shut the fuck up and accept the General Explanation of Everything That is Great About This Book. Except one.

And she died a year after I left school.

>>216750
I did the exact opposite for a my end-of-school-whatever-the-fuck-you-call-it project. Handed in the paper and got it back with the message of "could use more information on theoretics". So I pasted in the stuff I'd left out because I thought it was crap and everything was OK.

>>217483
No, you just view it as crap because you haven't been told it's great for generations upon generations.

Just wait until the people of the future start talking about the great and significant brilliance of Twilight and Harry Potter.

>>217499
I too had to read books like de Avonden.
I explained why I thought it was shit and I got a 2. I got to redo it though, I listed why I was supposed to like it and got a 7.

Fuck schools.

>>217519
By that time humanity will have faded and have been replaced by moderately intelligent dogs. Just ask Simak.

We had the choice of reading 3 books and later in the semester there would be a test and a writing assignment on said book.

Being a suck up to the teacher I read the one that the teacher said was the hardest to read because it gets very strange at parts (her words).

That books was The Cement Garden
I read this book very enthusiastically and was a bit excited to show off to the teacher with my interpretation of this novel.

I take the test and it is pants on head retarded...
It had questions like: What was the name of Derek's friend?
This character appeared for about two pages and had no significance to the plot!

Then the writing assignment came and I had to write about how I think the family functioned before the parents died.

I raged hard, the test and writing assignment ignored most of the novel with retarded questions and completely looking past the last 30 pages and the relationship of the siblings.
I dedicated the rest of the term to pissing that teacher off

>>217519
Addendum:

You should read some other old plays/books that aren't Shakespeare. Some of them are pretty damn good. I read one where the main character is a thief, rapist and murderer. Fucker just fools people left and right.

>>217520
You are my brother.

For me, it started out with De Aanslag. Right from the prologue our teacher starts pointing out Mulisch's Great and Brilliant metaphores, repeatedly stating "this is going to be important".

Hated Mulisch ever since. Ah well, I guess I can't but hate an arrogant bastard who states "I am the war."

Teacher took a shit all over Life of Pi by fangirling over Yann Martel.

Every. Fucking. Class.

>>217564
My sister read that, and said it was good. But my sister has almost no taste to speak of and watches Gossip Girl, 90210 and The Hills, so I really don't know how seriously I should take her.

>We have an awesome lit teacher
>My class reads a lot of good classics - The Stranger, The Trial, Turn of the Screw, Grendel etc.
>The students become genuinely interested. Some even put quotes from the books as facebook statuses
>School will start summer reading next year
>Teacher asks for suggestions
>Twilight, Nicholas Sparks, Dan Brown
>wtf
>Teacher facepalms

>>217529
I am intrigued. What work would this be?

>>217589
The Reynard Cycle.

Junior year when we finished reading the stranger the teacher decided we should have a mock funeral for mersault, complete with written eulogies, which were our written assignments. It wouldn't have been so bad if he didn't make us walk around the quad in a funeral procession with everyone watching. FML.


: \

>>216568
this
>>216577
and this describe why I fucking hate public school

> I put all kinds of effort into thinking outside the box and coming up with my own ideas
>lackluster grade
>kids at the top of the class turn bullshit in, get A
>approach after class
>hey what did you think of that book
>herpa derp lol read book wat

>>217702
your teacher is a retard. a funeral for mersault? what for? not even the teacher got this book, why would you assign it to a class.

In our book was a text about the discovery of america by christopher columbus written fromt he viewpoint of a cleric, but in fact written by pablo neruda (who was still living at the time we read this text, i think).
Teacher said this obviously was primary source, the author a direct witness of the events.
I said that would be hard to believe since pablo neruda is a 20th century writer. He said "well, if youre so smart, you can prepare a presentation on ancient south american civilizations for monday!"