>Reading Infinite Jest
>Every female within 30 miles comments on the size of the book
>Try desperately to create conversation with me
>"I'm trying to read."
>"Oh, sorry"

>Reading Infinite Jest on the tour bus before we get to the restaurant
>Everybody needs to get a joke in about the size of the book
>One guy asks me "What's it about?"
>"Everything"
>"But, really, what's it about?"
>"Sit down and shut up and eat your food."

>>1984192
I hate when people ask what it's about, I summed it up by saying crackheads and tennis and people look at me like i'm retarded.

>Reading Infinite Jest
>Mother walks in
>I had a look at that earlier, seemed like a load of inconsequential guff
>Agreed but kept reading anyway

>>1984196
I answer straight off of the blurbs from the back of the book. "What's Infinite Jest about? Oh, it's only a work of genius .... grandly ambitious, wickedly comic, a wild surprisingly readable tour de force."

"Oh this book? It's a gargantuan, mind-altering comedy about the pursuit of happiness in America."

>their faces when

Why the fuck are you all reading Infinite Jest?

>reading Problems of Philosophy
>dad notices it and asks if he can read it after
>I say no and joke around saying it's 2deep4u
>Goes on a rant saying how he knew about Russell before I even existed, etc. etc.
>trollface.jpeg

>>1984217
I need to start doing that. Like, really. Then again some of the shit my buddies have come up with in response to the crackhead thing are pretty funny.

>>1984226
God, I love that shit. I wish my dad asked to borrow my books after I'm done.

>reading a book
>asked what it's about
>how the fuck am I supposed to know, If I'm still reading it.

>reading a book on pedophilia (written by a pedophile) for abnormal psych paper
>casual lecture buddy asks what I'm reading during another class
>oh... it's just this book... about nothing really
>asks to look at it; flips through it
>next day, he sits in the opposite side of class
>never talks to me again

>airport in '09
>cracked open Finnegans Wake for the first time
>15 minutes in, guy next to me says:
>What the hell is that book about, and what is that word?
>points to "bababdalgharakt...."
>there is absolutely no way to answer those questions
>I say: it depends on how you read it
>looks at me funny, turns away
>;_;

>>1984242
Dude. I can top this.

I once walked into a Women's Studies class to survey the course and sat down with my girlfriend across from a group of pretty attractive girls who are all smiling at me and trying to catch my eye.

I put down the stack of books I've been carrying around to take home, and on top of the stack, plain visible to these girls is a hardcover book with the massive title emblazoned across the front:

"CARNAL CRIMES: SEXUAL ASSAULT LAW IN CANADA, 1900-1975"

I give them all the troll face as their faces change from flirtatious smile to absolute horror.

..... problem? :)

>reading House of Leaves
>Dad goes "what's it about?"
>show him this
>let him read a few dozen pages, gets into it
>He reads the whole thing after I finish
>everythingwentbetterthanexpected.tiff

>reading A Tale of a Tub
>girlfriend at the time comments that it must be very funny since i'm laughing to myself as i read
>"oh yeah it really is"
>start to explain it her
>she doesn't get it
>keep going, explaining some of the background history of the period too
>she still doesn't get it
>she bursts out with "you always fucking talk down to me as if i'm stupid" and then storms off
>we barely talk for the rest of the holiday

Thanks for that Swift.

>>1984254
>going on vacation with dumb bitches
>2011

You brought that upon yourself, brother. Don't blame Swift.

>taking a tax class
>woman next to me is a 40 year old black single mother cop
>"Whatcha reading? Oh, Crime and Punishment? Great choice. What did you think about ... "
>everythingwentbetterthanexpected.jpg

>be reading any pynchon novel ever
>"what's that about?" they ask
>"i have no idea."

>>1984265
Black single mothers who are cops are the salt of the earth and everything that is good about this world.

>Traveling.
>At a McDonald's for lunch.
>Reading McIntyre's "Whose Justice? Which Rationality?"
>Trucker dude asks me what I'm reading.
>I tell him.
>He asks if it is about moral relativism.
>I tell him no, and then explain McIntyre's project, mostly summarizing "After Virtue".
>Trucker is really interested.
>End up spending too long on lunch and get to my destination late.

>mom ask what I'm reading
>"Slaughterhouse Five. I bet you would like it mom"
>"I don't really like those violent, gory books you read son"
>"Its not gory mom. Its called Slaughterhouse Five because thats the name of the slaughterhouse they kept them in as POWs in Dreden during WWII. "
>"Oh, I probably would like it then"
>"and then the main character becomes unstuck in time and is abducted by aliens"
>"nevermind, it sounds stupid"
>"its autobiographical"

My parents refuse to read or watch anything that isn't "realistic". Anything that involves something that couldn't happen in real life is "stupid" cause "its not real".

>>1984253
>be reading that
>someone sees a page
>wow, whats that about?

>uhh, a drug addicted tattoo parlor worker who finds a manuscript by a blind, crazy old man adapted from a documentary that doesn't exist about a family that moves into a house that leads into a different dimension... or something

>>1984281
>you are now realizing that if your mother was a teenaged boy, she'd play Call of Duty on her xbox 360 all day errday, manually.

>>1984268
>reading Gravity's Rainbow
>little brother asks what it's about
>"rockets and stuff"
>he keeps asking about it
>show him the scat scene
>he doesn't ask about my books anymore

>>1984268

haha, this

>Reading V
>Friend asks what it's about
>I'm not sure yet, but I'm only halfway through
>Asks again a week later
>I'm still not sure. I have about a hundred pages left. It'll probably all come together soon
>I finish the book
>Friend asks if I can finally tell him what it was about
>Fuck you, Thomas Pynchon

>>1984304
Yep pretty much. I just told people that it's about the Whole Sick Crew. Seriously, I only understood half that book, all the flashbacks fucked me over.

No one cares about what I'm reading.

>reading lolita in a starbuck
>a girl tell me that's her favourite book
>keep talking about how much humbert "loves" lolita
>she's my girlfriend now
>she fucks like a goddess

>reading American Gods
>father asks what it's about
>"well, it's about this war between old gods of pagan religions and new gods like television and internet, but it's really a me-"
>"fine, if you don't want to tell me you don't have to"

lol

bump

>>1984340
Is that really the plot of the book? Fuck me, you faggots will read anything.

>reading mein kampf
>no one talks to me

>>1984288
You managed to sneak four memes into that post. GG.

>>1984340
>it's about this war between old gods of pagan religions and new gods like television and internet

That is a really shitty concept. I hope you're trolling.

>>1984400
>POMF
>Green Text
>You are now realizing, manually
>COWADOOTY
>all day errday

I count 5.

>>1984403
never underestimate how shitty gaiman is

>>1984416
>Gaiman
>not reading the Sandman, and watching Coraline, and that's it.
>2011

I wish I could tell everyone.

>>1984411
Hm, I'd consider "manually" a separate meme, so I'd say six.

>>1984304
>>1984311

so why do you read books you don't understand?

> 5 years ago, high-school
> reading Foundation by Asimov
> classmate reads the title by looking at the cover
> "hey Anon why are you reading books about building houses?"
> "err... it's not about buil-"
> then classmate laughs at me and leaves.

>>1984486
If I knew I wasn't gonna understand it when I started, I woulda never read the motherfucker.

>>1984368
>American Gods
>Bad

>>1984486
to try to understand it

>>1984575
wow that sounds like something someone from /lit/ would do

>>1984281
Oh god I hate that. My mom thinks reality TV is the pinnacle of television since it's real.

At least she just watches those forensics shows instead of Jersey shore or some shit.

Side note, my aunt loves just normal reality tv like biggest loser and shit.
One time she's watching Biggest Loser (contest for fat guys to lose weight or some shit)
I go:
>There's no way that's real
>"Excuse me?"
>The show, it's all fake
>What do you mean, they're not actors, this is real.
>I know they're not actors, no one could do that. It's CGI
>No it isnt what are you talking abuot, what's CGI
>The people
>her face

>>1984304
>Reading V
Rage, console wars and not vidya.

>reading notes from the underground
>no one talks to me
>i'm the underground man

>>1984674
you should actively try to convince them that that stuff is not real. lead them to a conscience crisis or something
then take notes on their behaviour

>>1984689
Haha, will do anon. We'll stop reality TV's stranglehold on America's audience even if it is just one person at a time!

>>1984675

>>1984698

We can make a reality show about the disillusionment brought on by the realization that no one on Survivor ever gets a sunburn.

>>1984717
>the disillusionment brought on by the realization

I know you think you can write, but, uh, you can't.

>>1984717
we could make a reality show about hating reality shows and bringing them down

>reading a book by Paula Poundstone
>Teacher walks over
>I'm the only student with whom he can enjoy conversations about James Joyce, Jane Austen, Goethe, and Thomas Mann.
>He tells me I'm "the most widely-read person" he knows.
>Feels good man.

Sequel:
>That book wasn't particularly great.

>Buy High Fidelity after watching the movie
>Guy sees me around, asks what I'm doing
>Tell him I bought a book
>Asks what it's about
>"people... who like music... and they get dumped by other people... and they do stuff."
>it's actually pretty accurate
>also, that book is terrible, at least the movie is viewable.

>>1984755
Fuck off, that book was great.

>>1984763
no, every character makes me rage

>>1984755
>viewable
anything is viewable if you have a working set of eyes, nigga

>>1984789
really

>>1984789
I think that was the point, he's implying the book is so bad that's not even readable while on the FLIPSIDE the movie was good enough to be at least deemed possible to watch.

>>1984674
Ugh, original guy here.

All my parents watch are those crime investigation shows on court tv. Not like CSI, but the real ones about people who get murdered, like 48 Hours Mystery and shit. That crap gets depressing after a while.

>>1984793
Exactly.

>Reading House of Leaves
>Some random dude shouts: "Yo! Walt Whitman rules!!"

mon visage quand

>reading mein kampf on the train
>lady stares at me for about 2 minutes
>calls me a "freagkin' dirty nazi"
>she gets off on the next stop

As if neo-nazis ever pick up Mein Kampf, let alone understand it.

>>1984821
yeah I don't get that shit. like
>>1984242
>>1984246
what's happening in the mind of someone that thinks that you automatically agree with everything you read, listen or watch? how come no one is looked at like a serial killer if he enjoyed Silence of the Lambs?

>>1984320

I WISH THAT THIS WAS A "TRUE ACCOUNT".

>be reading Ulysses
>"what's it about?"
>"it's a thousand page account of one day in Ireland from varying points of view"
>"oh.. is it any good?"
>"most of it doesn't make sense"
>"right.."

it doesn't though

>>1984858
>my brain doesn't work as well as other people's

It doesn't though.

Fixed that for ya.

>>1984804
Oh man you love something and then you forget about it but every now and then you see it and it rekindles that lost love. beautiful

>reading Naked Lunch
>girl asks me what it's about
>tell her "You don't want to know, trust me"
still really enjoyed it though

>be 14 years old
>go to one of the last remaining independent bookstores because i just got 25 dollars for my birthday
>hunt around for something until i find a copy of "the 120 days of sodom, and other writings" by the marquis de sade
>go up nervously to pay
>creepy man behind the counter says what i owe
>i hand him the 20-dollar bill
>he says "it's 20 dollars and 73 cents" (or something, i hadn't heard because i was nervous)
>i hand him the 5-dollar bill and say "sorry, i didn't realize."
>he hands me the book and says in a creepy way: "ah, we have to pay for our pleasures...."
>i never went back to that independent bookstore

>>1984901
sort of related
>comic book store
>i ask for the price of a comic book I saw in the showcase
>smug middle aged guy makes a three with his hands
>Baffled and dumbfounded because that comic book sure was expensive, I say "... What?! THREE euros?"
>Arrogantly says that it's thirty
>Say I don't have that money, maybe I'll be back
>"Yeah, I bet you will"
>Leave
I hope his wife dies.
That clerk of yours sounds like a cool guy instead, you should return and buy more weird-themed books until it becomes an inside joke between the two of you.

>>1984245
what book is this

>>1984948
You should have just lunged over the counter and punched him in the face. I would have lost my temper and hit him.

>Reading Light in August
>Girl asks me what its about
How the fuck am i supposed to sum up a 600 page book i haven't yet finished in one sentence? That never happened but fuck the hypothetical girl in my greentext.

>>1985078
>cannot read

>>1984245

bit of light reading at the airport?

lol you wanted someone to say something.

>purposefully read the most outlandish book I can in a public place
>can't wait to get comments and stares from everyone
>no one cares
>I go home and cry myself to sleep

>>1985103
It wasn't a bit of light reading; my flight had been delayed 3 hours. I was initially planning to start it on the plane to keep me from being bored for 7 hours.

>Go to temple with my family
>Bring Mein Kampf
>Pull it out halfway through, start reading
>Dad whispers "Where the fuck did you get that, put it away"
>I laugh so hard I snort
>People in front of me look behind to see where the snort came from
>See Mein Kampf
>Shocked look on their faces
>One woman starts grabbing at the book saying "Give that to me, you little shit, this is the devil's book"
>Everyone looking around now
>People start yelling
>Laugh so hard I almost pee
>Get thrown out

SO fucking funny

>reading "Lolita"
>home for summer after 1 year of college
>leave it on my bedside
>mom asks what it's about
>"Its just a love story"
>Normally don't read love stories, mom thinks it's wierd
>looks it up, reads some of the "sex" scenes
>Gets mad

>>1985125

You sound obnoxious.

>>1985095

>implying your explanation has to be one sentence

>Reading God Emperor of Dune at summer job during break
>nobody says anything
>Switch over to Keith Richards biography
>anon is a pretty cool guy

Honestly I like KR's biography more because it's much less brain stress. Much more insightful then you would think.

>>1985130
There was like nothing in there though

>>1985107

>finnegans wake
>anything but boring

did you have the reader's companion too?

>>1985104
i.e., finnegans wake, but someone actually says something and you never actually prepared anything to say and you're actually rangaha

>be 16 and on the train
>take out Picture of Dorian Gray
>20-something guy next to me pulls out a book also
>about 10 minutes in notice we're reading the same book
>he glances at what i'm reading and realizes this at the same time as me
>both look up. he says:
>"well this is kinda gay"

it was pretty funny at the time.

>>1985183
That's fucking amazing!

hardest I've laughed at a greentext

>>1985188

forgot this >>1985183

>>1985183

You guys are fucking socially awkward weirdos.

Oh, god forbid a human being take interest in what you're reading and ask what it's about. Dear god, how dare they interrupt your gloriousness.

>fuck this gay earth

>>1985215
Were you really making that face at her?
How did she react?

>>1985220
>>1985220

She took it as if I was just agreeing with her and we went on talking about the class. I could've stopped her there and had an argument, but I just found that to be so unnecessary - she probably would just regret even talking to me.

>on a cramped plane, age 20, traveling alone
>terribly socially awkward
>reading Crime & Punishment for the first time
>incredibly ancient guy next to me sees it, he has a weird accent, maybe Aussie?
>starts telling me about how he read that book when he was a kid
>then goes on for 2 hours describing weird shit he did "in the service" as a young man
>never clear what military or whatever group he belonged to
>tells me that he's killed like 30 people "in the service" and sometimes the guilt is overwhelming even though they were "bad guys" and that he really understand Raskolnikov sometimes, and that he really does remember their faces
>says (and i never forgot this) "if you hafta kill someone, better remember his face, its something you owe"
>offer to buy him a whiskey
>"heeee heeee, son, you are aw roight"

he's probably dead now. :(
coolest guy ever.

>>1985229

i'm sure that was funny when it happened, but i can see why you're socially awkward. you can't even relate the funniness of an ostensibly funny story by greentext.

>Reading A Clockwork Orange
>I'm at the library to renew the book
>My grandma is with me, and she notices the book
>She starts saying very loudly, "OH MY GOD I SAW THE MOVIE OF THAT BOOK ONCE, IT WAS SO TERRIBLE! I WAS JUST DISGUSTED! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU CAN READ THAT BOOK WITHOUT THROWING UP!"
>people start turning their heads and staring at us

Guns, germs and steel
>hey my dad is reading that book

i dont have a story about people asking what i am reading because i tend to ensconce myself and look prickly, but

>prowling the library
>wearing my newest hat/disguise
>furtively select a book
>duck into the darkest most remote corner to read
>still
>STILL
>Possibly Reptilian Employee 'just bumps into' me and talks to me for five minutes like we're old pals, then wanders off
>bumps into me again, sharklike, just as i am leaving for a final awkward exchange/possible one-sided flirtation

every time.

and he doesnt even ask about what I am reading... wouldn't that be the smoothest possible opener if you're trying to lure a library regular into your reptile cult?

>>1985276
>>1985276

> possibly reptilian

Sherlock, I worry about you.

>reading Mason & Dixon during a family vacation
>grandmother asks what the book is about
>I explain to her the strong bond between the two astronomers, and how Pynchon celebrates sentimental narration tantamount to Lawrence Stern
>my entire family is now under the irredeemable impression that I am a arrant homosexual

>reading The Devil in the White City on the train in the morning
>approach stop where all the high school kids get off
>teenage girl who looks like Margaret Cho unzips backpack, pulls out her own copy of the book, and hisses "WE'RE BOOK TWINS" in a funny voice as her sidekick buries her face in her hands
>doors open and they walk off cackling

>>1985279
well then why don't you email me

(nah it's cool, no pressure or anything, lizard man)

>reading Howards End before class
>best friend who has the same class sits down next to me
>'what are you reading?'
>'howards end by e.m. forster'
>'is it about love?'
>'not necessarily. there are romantic relationships in it, though, for sure.'
>'sounds gay.'

>>1985291
>>1985291

Sorry, but you know...

using poetry as an excuse is so easy.

;-;

>>1985301
>>1985301

chuckled so hard that zelda jumped off my lap and went into the other room

>>1985312
zelda is a dumb name for a cat.

>>1985321

Whew. She's a dog.

>High school algebra 2 class
>Reading Dostoevsky
>teacher comes up, asks me what I'm reading
>have conversation about it
>conversation turns to Poe, Douglas Adams, then away from literature to music
>listens mostly to dadrock
>don't give a fuck and have bro-ass teacher for the rest of the year

Talked about music, literature, and ripped on the majority of the people in the class. Great guy.

>>1985306
Well, I eagerly await your correspondence. We need to get this reptile situation under control and it's hard to find trustworthy allies in the west

>read The great gadsby on the train
>stay on train after arriving to finish book
>Stand up
>walk away
>leave book on seat for cleaners.

>in middle school

>reading one of Brian Jacques' Redwall books

>"wow," says a girl from my Reading class, "that's a biiiig book."

>Tell her it isn't and she should shut up, throw book down on the table and furiously storm away

>>1985382
better that one

>finish infinite jest on train
>look out window
>see double rainbow
>get to station
>leave book behind
>Korean guy pulls me over; "hey you left your book"
>Don't want it
>Walk away

>Sitting on park bench.
>Reading "War and Peace."
>Old lady come sits next to me.
>She says "that's a long book."
>Keep reading.
>She says "I have a grandson about your age."
>Keep reading.
>She asks "Is it an interesting book?"
>Tell her "It is an atrocious book about people prying in on other peoples affairs in which they have no business."
>Stand up and walk off feeling all cool and hip.

>>1985528

>>1985510
I really want this to be true and to know the rest of the story!

>>1985510

I'm imagining something like this occurring:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0fFwnqBU_-U

>>1985563
>>1985563

Oh god, thank you.

I remember why I loved this show now.

>tell mom i'm reading finnegans wake
>she calls bs
>tell her i'm on page 300 and give a summary
>she calls me a dirty liar and kicks me out of her car

> reading three men in a boat in dorm common area
> girl walks up and asks permission to draw me
> try to stifle giggles so as not to fuck up her drawing and end up laughing harder
>"must be a funny book?"
>"yep."
>never going to get laid

>>1985566
Wanna hang out with that mom.

>>1985566

This is what happens when you don't read Finnegans Wake at 3AM with a bottle of Irish whiskey.

>reading Naked Lunch in car
>friend walks past and conversation about Naked Lunch starts
>gives wikipedia explanation of Naked Lunch disguised as his own
>incoherent ramblings of a heroin addict or some shit

Fuck. You

>flick through the pages to find my place
>really old book, so yellow its almost unreadable
>extremely pungent
>old lady next to me has coughing fit
>laugh and start reading

>>1985658
Second hand reading kills.

>Read a book
>No one has ever shown interest by asking me about it.

>>1984575

I hate people who feel the need to walk up and give their stupid amateur opinion, like I give a shit what they think.

>>1985845
From the tone of your post, I would bet twenty american dollars that you do give a shit what others think.

>>1985855

Nope. I can choose my own books.

Whenever I read in public I try to have a summary of the book ready in case someone asks. There are a few acquaintances I have and they always seem to ask. It's actually really irritating to me, but I'm always polite. Sometimes they get a little high-and-mighty if I don't have something ready, though.

>What's that about
>Oh... well... I really don't know.
>over half way done

Ff.

>reading american psycho
>friend liked the film
>read the bit with the rat and the plastic tubing to a bunch of my friends sitting in a circle

>Have to find new friends

bump

You guys seem like pretty chill dudes. What are the best books of Bertrand Russell? The one that describes his philosophy the most?

>>1987297

On Denoting, The Problems of Philosophy

>>1984184
>>1984192
>>1984196
>>1984199
>>1984217

First five posts and it's all IJ and it's all by pretentious-as-fuck tryhards.
This thread surely went places.

>read House of Leaves
>"Hey what's that about?"
>House eats people

>reading house of leaves on the bus
>Guy in a suit reading War and Peace glares at me

>>1987726
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA what a cunt

>>1984901
>14 years old
>de sade

Um

>>1985229
I read that in the TF2 snipers voice.

>read any book in public
>nobody gives a fuck

>reading Marx's Capital in staffroom
>supervisor comes in, gives me dirty look
>manager comes in, gives me dirty look
>desperately attempt to convince them I am simply reading it for its historical significance

>>1987772
>implying both supervisor and manager are aware of the implications of subordinate reading subversive literature in the workplace

>reading John Dies at the End
>(I read it as it came out online and was so glad to hear it came out as an actual book)
>friend comes up and asks is John actually dies at the end.
>"He actually kinda dies pretty early on.
>"But it's okay 'cuz the dog brings him back when they're on the way to Vegas."
>Friends don't ask me for book recommendations anymore

>In The Miso Soup
>ex asks me what its about
>show her the excerpt from the inside of the cover

>It looked as though Maki had another mouth below her jaw. Oozing from this second, smiling mouth was a thick, dark liquid, like coal tar. Her throat had been slit literally from ear to ear and more than halfway through, so that it looked as if her head might fall right off. And yet, incredibly, Maki was still on her feet and still alive, her eyeballs swiveling wildly and her lips quivering as she wheezed foam-flecked blood from the wound in her throat. She seemed to be trying to say something. . . .

>18, in college on spring break
>At an airport, starving because I lost my wallet.
>Reading Aquinas's Compendium theologiae
>Middle–aged lady comes up to me, asks me if I'm a seminarian
>I say no
>We talk about Aquinas—turns out she has a masters in philosophy and teaches at a Catholic HS
>She's very well–read and intelligent
>Lunch was awesome, experience was awesome

She was like the cool aunt I NEVER HAD

I wish things like this happened to me. I only have this story.

> Father is looking through my stack of books I'm planning to read.
> "These are some intelligent books you're reading anon. Someone might mistake you for an intellectual."

Well played, dad.

>Just purchase From Hell, take it out of the bag to read on the bus home
>woman sits beside me
>looks over and sees the first sex scene in the book
>changes seats

>>1988603
She wanted coitus.

>Sophmore English class
>Dystopian unit
>General consensus of the class

Reading Anthem
>This book is great
>This book is so deep and true
Honestly, I think the reason so many kids liked this book was because of how easy it is to read. That, and how short the book is.

Reading Fahrenheit 451
>This book is right, READING SUCKS
huuurrrrr

Reading Sirens of Titan
>This book is so unreal
>None of this could ever happen
>This author sucks
>This book was so pointless
>I dont understand
>This author doesn't know how to write
This one made me rage the most. My friend said most of this stuff and then he continued to suck Michael Crichton's dick and read every book he ever wrote.

Later an acquittance is reading of mice and men
>haha guys look they say nigger in this book!

>>1988813
>I think the reason so many kids liked this book was because of how easy it is to read. That, and how short the book is.

No shit pal.

>visiting dad down south
>takes me to restaurant
>reading Fight Club for the first time while we wait for food
>waitress comes to take our order, sees book and says it's her favorite
>starts talking to me about what she's doing after work, asks us about personal details and shit
>too much of a beta to suggest we meet and do something after she gets off work