>>>/a/
>>>/b/
>>>/v/
>>>/r9k/
>>>/soc/
>>>/adv/

I don't know what you heard about me
But a bitch can't get a dollar out of me
No Cadillac, no perms, you can't see
That I'm a motherfucking P-I-M-P

I told you fools before, I stay with the tools
I keep a Benz, some rims, and some jewels
I holla at a hoe til I got a bitch confused
She got on Payless, me I got on gator shoes
I'm shopping for chinchillas, in the summer they cheaper
Man this hoe you can have her, when I'm done I ain't gon keep her
Man, bitches come and go, every nigga pimpin know
You saying it's secret, but you ain't gotta keep it on the low
Bitch choose with me, I'll have you stripping in the street
Put my other hoes down, you get your ass beat
Now Nik my bottom bitch, she always come up with my bread
The last nigga she was with put stitches in her head
Get your hoe out of pocket, I'll put a charge on a bitch
Cause I need 4 TVs and AMGs for the six
Hoe make a pimp rich, I ain't paying bitch
Catch a date, suck a dick, shiiit, TRICK

I don't know what you heard about me
But a bitch can't get a dollar out of me
No Cadillac, no perms, you can't see
That I'm a motherfucking P-I-M-P

Yeah, in Hollywoood they say there's no b'ness like show b'ness
In the hood they say, there's no b'ness like hoe b'ness ya know
They say I talk a lil fast, but if you listen a lil faster
I ain't got to slow down for you to catch up, BITCH-

Catch her listening to perfect math class, break into her room and dance to it. Also fuck her, shell be completely ok if you do it in the dark and think about tohos the whole tine

Knock on her door and ask her if she wants to watch Giant Robo. Bitches love Giant Robo.

she crawls around in the drains and walls in teh yuor apartment complex, OP, late at night...

>not BL
That's not fujoshi

well, stalk her some more! I mean, duh

>>8317673
A man after my own heart.

>>8317643
Ask her to play some touhou together some time. Get to know her.

She is probally reading your post right now.

CRAZY

>>8317718
Forgot your trip

>>8317701
>Gathering the courage to talk to unknown people
I think you overestimate /jp/'s social capabilities.
You should find a way to talk about Touhou, really. Just a conversation of a few short sentences, really.

hikki thread?
Whats the most comfortable way to sit on the floor /jp/?

Sit, not shit.

>>8317742
Put a chair on it.

>>8317677
this arouses me

>>8317705
shit, probably

>>8317701
>>8317724
I think talking to her first is best. I'm not capable of inviting her to do things with me yet. I hear her sneaking into the laundry room in the early hours of the morning...

There's a guy in my apartment complex with a wifi name of mecha nerd.

I don't know which apartment he is in but I have a good chance of knowing he's in one of the five closest to me.

I often wonder what it would be like if we became friends.

What should I do?

>>8318086
Change your wifi name to "Hi mecha nerd"

see what happens.

I'm going to try talking to the fujoshi tonight when she goes into the laundry room...
if she does her laundry tonight

>>8318109

How do you intend to begin the conversation, exactly? Are you going to mention you know what she likes because you hear her listening to music? That'd be pretty offputting.

Play your own Touhou music.

Problem solved.

>>8318127
I'll mention how I'll introduce myself and mention how in all the years of living here, I don't think we've ever met.

I'm determined now. Even if she's a terrible person, it's a challenge to see if I have it in me.

I also have this shirt
http://i383.photobucket.com/albums/oo278/takung1/Ajafa/54%20spring/IMG_2332.jpg
(I never wear it though. I bought it on a whim)
Maybe if I wear it she'll take notice

>>8318109
Alright, just listen to me. I got this. I can do this for you.

Just LISTEN TO ME

While she's doing laundry, stare at her. Lift up DVD of Giant Robo. Raise one eyebrow while you're doing this.

Guaranteed you're getting laid.

>>8318127
He would need an excuse to knock at her door and start a conversation from there.
He could steal a sock from her or something and pretend that she forgot it there while playing the friendly neighbour who brings back her lost property

>>8318159
>get laid
Nooooo nohohohoho no

But this is still a novel idea


>>8318164
This sounds good enough

>>8318151
>>8318151
>>8318151
>>8318151
>>8318151

>>8318109
>I'm going to try talking to the fujoshi tonight when she goes into the laundry room...
>if she does her laundry tonight
Fucking normals.
What the fuck are you even doing on /jp/.
If some random person tried to get friendly with me like that I'd stop going out of my room and probably end up moving away as soon as possible.
Never dawned on you that she might prefer being left the fuck alone?

>>8318187
... no it never did
I mean, I don't have friends, but I thought it'd be nice to have someone with similar interests to talk to

>>8318155

Well, good luck then. If she's a real deal hikki don't be surprised if she doesn't want to talk to you even if she knows you've got similar interests.

>>8318192
No, for actually introverted person it would be awkward as fuck at best.
Maybe she'd like someone to talk, but not someone who lives in the same apartment complex and who she meets often regardless of whether she wants/plans to or not.

>>8318192
It's not illegal to try. Do what you want.

>>8318192
>I mean, I don't have friends, but I thought it'd be nice to have someone with similar interests to talk to
You have /jp/. What more could you want.

>>8318209
Not all introverted people think that way. I actually find it easier to have friends near me, that way I won't have the problem of losing contact. They're right there, so I don't have to work hard to strike up conversation, which makes me feel uncomfortable.
Maybe she'll enjoy the convenience of it

>>8318237
I love you /jp/ but... you would never come over to my house for dinner.

>>8318314
>I love you /jp/ but... you would never come over to my house for dinner.
Well, you are a /jp/er.

>>8318323
but I'm a really good cook
;_;

>>8318333
I bet you make some fancy Ramen.

>>8318374
I actually do
I turn ramen in sweet salty noodles, but I also make amazing teriyaki beef as well as dumplings

>>8318323
>er

>>8318155

It would be cool if you posted a link to that shirt, bro.

>>8318209
You're confusing introverted with schizoid/avoidant personality disorders.

>>8318412
I'll find it. It's being sold on ebay right now, which is how I found the picture

http://www.ebay.com/itm/Touhou-Project-4-Sakuya-Izayoi-Maid-KnifeJapan-T-shirt-/260798596009#ht_3481
wt_1141

I bet that's all the IOSYS PV crap and youtube videos

there's no way she's a proper touhou fan

>>8318421
>personality disorder
Could we avoid using that word combination?

>>8318526
It's not.
I listen to the music when she plays it. It's mostly EastNew Sounds

Talk to her. She might want a friend like you do too. Also there is no harm in trying.

how do you hear the music?

are you next door or something? or are you being a creepy /jp/er and you go down teh hall and creep at her door?

>>8318699
i have nobody next to me on the right because i'm in the corner, but she's on the other side of the corner... if that makes sense
we're pretty much neighbors

... but i have put my ear against the wall to see if i could hear anything

>>8318707
>i have put my ear against the wall to see if i could hear anything
>ear against the wall to see if i could hear anything
>to see if i could hear anything
>see if i could hear
yes, this is how eyes and ears work

Face it. In the end, all you're looking for is female companionship that shares interest with you so you feel safe and secure laying the romance thing on her. You have /jp/. You wanting to befriend a woman, fujoshi or not, is just your dick being curious. Now get the fuck out or man up and do the /jp/ thing.

>>8318711
okay i put my ear against the wall and tried to listen into what she was doing
better?

>>8318712
is having a friend so bad?
i don't care that she's female

u got any local anime cons?
if so i bet she goes.
just go too and look for her and then be all like, hey dont you live on the other side of the hall from me?

bam ice breaker

>>8318719
we do have a local con, but she doesn't leave her unit...

>>8318727
what city u live in?

make an excuse to walk near her whilst playing one of the touhou remixes at a volume she will hear.

>>8318730
I live in Los Angeles, so we have more than just local cons
She still doesn't leave her house for them

>>8318733
I doubt she'd start conversation with me on her own

>>8318733
no, more like make an excuse to talk by dressed in full touhou cosplay.

>>8318743
>She still doesn't leave her house for them
how would you know when she leaves?
stalker

Give that bitch a smiley face.

>>8318719
Sounds like an expensive ice breaker.

>>8318743
I say "go for the crazy man gambit" and post "YOUKAI GO HOME" on your door.

>>8318719
You don't break ice without a follow up plan

So... stalker thread?

>>8318763
sure seems like it

>>8318749
I don't leave my house much either.
The only con I've been to was anima expo, once

>>8318751
Even if it doesn't get her attention, I might still post that on my door...

how old is she?

>>8318775
I don't know, but she's old enough to live by herself

>>8318779
teens? 20s? 30s?

>>8318763
Life in the zone sure is harsh.

>>8318784
late teens early 20's?
she looks really young but she lives alone so

>>8318775
Old enough.

>>8317643
>>8318155
OP, you should do it. Then let us know how it goes. As long as a.) you don't come on superstrong, If you don't come on too strong, b.) she's not a total recluse in the first place, and c.) the forces of random don't intervene and screw everything up somehow, it should go great.

Most fujoshi would love it if someone with the same hobbies came up to them and started a conversation based on that. Especially if that person also lived nearby. and I should know, 'cause I am one.

BLOG TIME: The guy who used to live next to me looked pretty realchuu physically, but he never complained about me playing weeaboo music in my apartment or even playing eroge without headphones on. Also one time he saw me taking my paper recycling down with some flattened figure boxes on top, and gave me a "nice bro" kind of chin tilt + smile.

Sadly he moved out. Now I wish I'd tried harder to become friends with him. ;_;

I'd marry her. We'd both have our rooms we'd stay in all day, come out to meet for lunch and dinner, and only talk then about stuff we've read or seen lately. That'd be a nice and awkward life.

>>8317679
> >not BL
> That's not fujoshi

Aren't yo/u/ forgetting the other option?

>>8318803
I'll post results later tonight. Thank you for the motivation.

You definitely should have made friends with him. Convenient friendship is best friendship.

>>8317656
>>8317656

>>8318793
so if she is young, never leaves room, how does she get an income to support herself?

Not all fujoshi hikkis are nasty ugly landwhales. We arent all disgusting pig bitches who give everyone else a bad name.

I've got a neet in my building too. He's middle aged, a heavy alcoholic, and rarely leaves except to buy more booze. He seems kind of depressed, but was always nice the handful of times I've run into him.

Sometimes I think he's what I will grow up to be. He even gets autism bucks, but I don't know what for. Sometimes I think about trying to go over and drink with him, but I don't any kind of association with people who know where I live or who can come by at the drop of a hat.

>>8318857
You tell him sister, some of us just don't like going out, is all.

>>8318844
How should I know?
I would assume she has an online job or her parents send her money.
She might also get money from the government

>>8318857
I never said that. I use to think so, but she's decent looking. Not fat and not disgusting.
I don't think I could be friends with a female who's vile like that...

>>8318857

whatever you land whale pig bitch

sounds like you got yourself a winner OP, just introduce yourself and drop hints about the music she listens to saying you like it and etc and once she picks up on it just go from there

>>8317724
>You should find a way to talk about Touhou, really. Just a conversation of a few short sentences, really.
Okay okay wait.
Order something online, have a package delivered to you. Make sure its obviously something touhou, or just whatever.
When you get the package, put it in her mailbox or on her front door instead and see if she'll muster up the courage to bring it to you instead, and be like "Oh yeah its a figurine of uh (character) its.. nevermind"

Or she'll be a greedy bitch and open it and keep it herself. Then you can guilt her in the laundry room like, "Damn those mailmen are fucking incompetent, i've been waiting two weeks for my packages"

ITS BRILLIANT, also enjoy your disgusting unshaved unwashed vagina, OP.

>>8319012
The smell of rotten fish and cheap motels...

I made two sort-of-friends at university by clumsily intruding on their conversation about Touhou.
Little girls in silly hats bring people together.

>>8318820

That's still not Fujoshi. The reason they're called Fujoshi is because they want two guys to be together, which is contradictory to what a woman should want, since two guys = no sex for the girl.

>>8319012
That's some cool social engineering.

>>8319111
So whats the male equivalent for guys like me who want two girls to be together?

>>8319192
"A guy".
All guys want this.

>>8318858
This story seems much more interesting than OP's 'there's a 3DPD girl whose pants I want to get into' story. What's the guy like? Is the 'only leaving his room to buy more booze' part an exaggeration or is he a hikki?

>>8319280
I don't want in her pants. I don't find her attractive in that sense.
Guy or girl, it'd still be nice to have a convenient friendship with someone like that.

I also just talked to her for a little bit.
It was.... interesting.

>>8319288
Interesting how?

OP, march over there, knock on the door and tell her to turn that shit down. shell be like "ooh, im s-sorry... ok"

Then, calmly and quietly ask her to checkum

How often does she do her laundry, stalker-kun?

I want to hear a happy ending to this possibly delusional story of a doomed and tragic friendship.

any updates from OP?

>>8319288

I think you'd be better off not denying your own intentions.

>>8319280
Well, if you really want to know what the guy is like...

I don't know anything about him from before he moved here. Which was like three months or so after I did, so his past is a complete mystery. What made him stand out was that he was like the only person in the building who didn't blast music and reek of drugs. After a while, I noticed I never saw him coming or going anywhere, and he doesn't seem to have a car. The lights in his place are always off, as a matter of fact I don't think his electric is even on. Maybe he can't afford it?

I don't go out unless I have to. So I don't know exactly how often he goes out, but the only times I hear his door open, he comes back like ten minutes later with alcohol, and sometimes food. This usually happens twice a week, but didn't happen at all over the holiday. Don't know if he left someplace or is just bunkered down. Hope he's not dead in there

He got a letter from SSA that's about the same size and thickness as the ones I get, which got delivered to me by accident once, so that's why I think he gets autism money.

I don't know much else. The guy likes his privacy. I don't think he's going for the TRUENEET championship, but he seems very much a shutin. Which reminds me, I've never seen him get any company, at all.

>>8319293
>>8319317
>>8319293
>>8319317

Alright, so I talked to her.
She was awkward and extremely shy, which I expected.
She has a stutter, which probably contributes to the fact she never leaves her house.

I met her earlier than expected because once in a while, her mom (I assume) drops off some stuff for her (my back window opens up to the garage so I can here people pulling in and talking. Perfect)

I went downstairs pretending I was going to do laundry and notice her carrying up some heavy looking grocery bags.
I offered to help her and she stuttered a quiet "th-thank you" and kept her head down the entire time.
Even though she was nervous, she tried to be friendly. She complemented me on my Sakuya shirt and she asked me where I got it.

I mentioned that it'd be the 4th year that I've spent New Years alone.
She kind of laughed, but in that "oh god I wish I was dead" kind of way and said she was too.

I got all her bags outside of her unit and she muttered "s-see you around..." and pushed all her bags in and shut the door.

I'm not sure what just happened, but I think it's good.

>>8319335
Was it a cute adorable stutter or the well, not adorable kind?

>>8319335

Lucky bastard.

>>8319335

You're in. Clean your place up, make some nice food, and go over to her apartment tomorrow and ask her if she'd like to have dinner.
I'm sure anon can suggest some good ways to go about this.

>>8319335
Your story satisfies me.

>>8319201

I find your stereotypes offensive and your generalizations demeaning. Please leap into the closest convenient industrial grade furnace for your scheduled incineration

guy meets girl
awkward conversation
didnt invite her to come visit or go somewhere...

you missed her flag, dude

>>8319360
Seems a bit quick to do something like that?

Not that I would know

>>8318711

to see:
to ascertain, learn, or find out

>>8319371

It does, yeah, but it's the only future event they talked about at all, and it's only a day away. The timing's a bit crap, but yeah.

>>8319364
Oh no it's only a matter of time before OP dies a gruesome death

>>8319364
This. Her conditioning to social pressure only works if you can overwhlem her better judgment. Now she has all the time in the world to think over what happened and find ways to demonize you.

You still may have a shot. But you'll need to fabricate a reason to talk with her again in the next eight hours or so.

>>8319351
It was a mix, but I found it mostly cute. I think it was worse because she was nervous.

>>8319361
>>8319360
>>8319359
Well, it seems like the general consensus is that I did good.

I kind of want to see if we can do something for New Years. Nothing big. Maybe I could drop off some of my cooking and say that I thought she'd appreciate it.
Doesn't seem too creepy or forward, does it?
I don't want to scare her away

>>8319111
No. It's "rotten" because liking 2D gay porn isn't socially acceptable. Slots vs. tabs is actually the less important distinction there.
Don't believe me? 28,800 search hits for 百合腐女子 say you're wrong too.

>>8319192
Well, you wouldn't be the first yuri fudanshi. Hell, Comic Yuri Hime has a series about that running right now.

>>8319388

You're asking a bunch of autist on advice to seduce this woman?

>>8319384

In my experience, trying to force social interaction with awkward women isn't a good idea. I suggest OP take it easy and continue trying to intercept her without making it seem like he's following her. If she initiates conversation with you herself, you can probably take more risks.

>>8319364
I didn't want to scare her. We live almost next door to eachother, I figured I'd ease her into it.

I'm getting use to talking to her too, so it'd be good for both of us.

>>8319394
I've never met a more suave and seductive group than the denizens of /jp/

You're really lucky anon. I hope you're good to her.

Anyways, >>8317643, please listen to me. That it's really related to this thread.
I went to Yoshinoya a while ago; you know, Yoshinoya?
Well anyways there was an insane number of people there, and I couldn't get in.
Then, I looked at the banner hanging from the ceiling, and it had "150 yen off" written on it.
Oh, the stupidity. Those idiots.
You, don't come to Yoshinoya just because it's 150 yen off, fool.
It's only 150 yen, 1-5-0 YEN for crying out loud.
There're even entire families here. Family of 4, all out for some Yoshinoya, huh? How fucking nice.
"Alright, daddy's gonna order the extra-large." God I can't bear to watch.
You people, I'll give you 150 yen if you get out of those seats.
Yosinoya should be a bloody place.
That tense atmosphere, where two guys on opposite sides of the U-shaped table can start a fight at any time, the stab-or-be-stabbed
mentality, that's what's great about this place.
Women and children should screw off and stay home.
Anyways, I was about to start eating, and then the bastard beside me goes "extra-large, with extra sauce."
Who in the world orders extra sauce nowadays, you moron?
I want to ask him, "do you REALLY want to eat it with extra sauce?"
I want to interrogate him. I want to interrogate him for roughly an hour.
Are you sure you don't just want to try saying "extra sauce"?
Coming from a Yoshinoya veteran such as myself, the latest trend among us vets is this, extra green onion.
That's right, extra green onion. This is the vet's way of eating.
Extra green onion means more green onion than sauce. But on the other hand the price is a tad higher. This is the key.
And then, it's delicious. This is unbeatable.
However, if you order this then there is danger that you'll be marked by the employees from next time on; it's a double-edged sword.
I can't recommend it to amateurs.
What this all really means, though, is that you, >>8317643, should just stick with today's special.

>>8319389
>fudanshi
Sounds an awful lot like fundoshi.
I like it.

>>8319335
>>8319388
Victoly OP! So glad to hear that it went over well. Looks like fate was on your side with the groceries thing. Also, I meant to mention before that I thought that shirt was a good choice, but that worked too, good! I'd say you have a foot in the door

The trick now is not to weird her out by moving too fast, so ignore whoever suggested inviting her over; that's waaaay too much too soon and could easily give her the wrong impression. I would approve of bringing her some food, though. Just take it over and give her a casual "hey I made too much of this, would you like some? And by the way, happy new year!" (say that to her even if she refuses.)

Protip: Give it to her in a decent plastic container, like Tupperware or something, that she might feel compelled to bring back when she's done, which gives you another opportunity to talk to her however briefly. However, she could well be too shy to ever do that, so pick one that you wouldn't mind losing just to be safe.

Bonus: you could (and I'm not arguing for or against this, but you could do it) also write your name on the container somewhere if you want, so she'll know what it is. This eliminates both her having to fight her shyness to ask you should she want to know, or you trying casually to bring it up and having it go wrong (I fucking hate introducing myself to new people ;_;)

>>8319430
Alright, it's good to know that even though my social skills are rusty I can still hold my own. I'll be sure to put it in a tupperware with my name on it, so she doesn't have to worry.

I hope that fate will stay with me tomorrow and that something good happens

>>8319335
YEESS the Sakuya shirt never fails. That good feel when Anon makes a potential new friend.

Bake her some anime/touhou cookies (if she likes animes/touhous). If not then regular chocolate chip. Then do the usual "I-I made too much, so you can have some" cool tsundere act.

>>8319441
I was always too scared to wear it outside, but maybe it's good luck.

I was going to make a regular meal too... so sweets trump food?

>>8319477

Yes, it'd seem less weird and personal if you just make some cookies or something rather than a full meal.

>>8319482
Making/baking anything this early is just creepy.
Its probably too soon to make any new years hangout plans, but hey you could always try again next holday. Valentines, I think?

Is this densha otoko because it smells like densha otoko

>>8319506

I guess I'll agree with that. Although, given the situation it doesn't sound like there's many better opportunities to build a relationship to that point. Also Zunbar suggested it and he's the smoothest dude around.

>>8319482
>>8319513
Alright, chocolate chip cookies
I can't deny ZUN!bar's advice. As said, he's very suave and debonair

>>8319506
Valentine's day seems creepier, though. Besides, we talked about our lonely New Year's together. I wouldn't invite her to my place or anything...
Giving her cookies is the best I can currently do

>>8319511
googled it
never watched it

No one has ever taken an effort to befriend me...

This is one of the two t-shirts related to my interests that I would wear outside.

The other is Madotsuki's shirt.

>>8319522
Become a reasonable-looking girl.

>>8319520
No, food now is fine, OP. Just don't go overboard with something you very obviously made just for her (i.e. no Touhou cookies, though regular chocolate chip should be fine). Making it look like something you cooked for yourself and just made too much of is the key. That way everything's nice and casual.

>>8319511
NEETapartment otoko

>>8319526
I'm friends with a passable looking trap, for no other reason than he's a passable looking trap. You may just be on to something here.

On a side note, I generally keep any interest I may have in him completely suppressed, and I'm reasonably certain he is unaware. Fucking him would strain our relationship, but if society were to ever for some reason fall apart, I would be sure to bring the rape train his way. As a matter of fact, should he resist, his unwillingness would actually make it better in a way.

>>8319522
if you lived in my apartment I would do this for you
come move in, there's a vacant unit

>>8319545
Got it
I don't even think I could make touhou cookies

>>8319552
>come move in
I live in a 400k condo for free, no way I'm leaving.
Maybe I'll just blare touhou music and see if there's any well off old people who recognize it.

>>8319566
If you play it loud enough at least the cops will come visit you.

I'm pretty sure the person in the apartment next to mine is a /jp/er. The problem is that he never leaves. Since he lives with his parents, he never has to go outside. And I never get a chance to talk to him, or find out if he's actually from /jp/.

Should I try forcing my way in?

>>8319568
Would they be friends with me?

>>8319573

What makes you think he's from /jp/?

>>8319584
Touhou music, anime, and some of the things he says at around 4 AM when he thinks no one else is up.

Thin walls are something of a mixed blessing for one as boredom prone as I.

>>8319590
Why dont you play touhou music too

>>8319590

What kind of things does he say?

Maybe he's reading this thread.

>>8319597
Because I think I'm the more forward of us, and that even if he knows I'm from /jp/ he will still not come out.

I've considered fabricating an excuse to his parents to lure him out, but I'm not sure if they'd buy it. And I know his response would be negative.

I don't see how everyone lives in their apartments alone and never leaves but yet somehow pays their rent and doesn't get evicted? I wish I could just stay in my apartment every day but I have to work to make rent :\. What is your secret /jp/?

>>8319590
The fact that one of my neighbors could be listening to everything I do is a little unnerving.

>>8319612
I get money from my parents and I do some online work. I make websites and I do some vector art. The vector art doesn't make a whole lot, but it's something.

>>8319599
Complaining about his parents. Or more often than not, his mom. (I've ran into his dad a couple of times, pretty scary guy.) He also yells about his computer problems a lot. On christmas eve I listened to a several hour long sermon, where he touched on issues like his extended family, his thoughts on society as a whole, and how he feels about a women who's name I could not make out.

It's all mostly stuff like that. If he's not worked up about it, it's really hard to understand anything he says through the wall, so I really only get to hear when complains.

>Maybe he's reading this thread.
Let's hope not.

>>8319612
Autism bucks. Also take your emoticon using ass back to >>>/a/.

There is a professor that is always in the labroom at my college. He's young, maybe 28 or so, and very shy and reserved. I can't really describe it, but there is just some feel around the area. It's like I'm being raped by his eyes, but only when I'm not looking. I work very hard in the labroom, or at least pretend to look busy so no one interrupts me. Today he interrupted me to ask some inane question that he should have already known. This was obviously in order to spark some sort of conversation.
I don't know if this was either out of pity, as no one talks to me, or out of genuine interest in friendship and or bonding. Regardless of his ulterior motive, I gave him brief answers and he left me to my work.

I know this sounds like I'm over-thinking it, but there is just something. Like we are on a similar frequency.

>>8319620
I keep extensive notes on everything mine do or say on both sides.

I make an extra effort to document each individual person I can hear. So even guests they have over often are documented, and in some cases photographed as they get into their cars (I have a great view over the parking lot from my room).

>>8319638
If he's raping you with his eyes and looking fr excuses to approach you he's probably interested, either crush him emotionally or go for it.

>>8319681
Sorry, but I am not physically attracted to men and it would never work out.
Another story that might interest the denizens of /jp/; involving a woman.
To be more precise, my next door neighbor. My mother is a very religious woman, and jumps at the chance to preach and possibly bolster the local congregation. Frequent bible study sessions and visits, and my mother found a new friend.
This neighbor woman, who'd I'd place in her mid to late thirties, always makes it a point to greet me whenever we cross paths. I've taken note that she does not offer the same courtesy to my stepfather nor other siblings. It might be far fetched to say this, but she could be one of those "cougars" who chase young men, in order to freshen themselves up with the taste of young men.
I have been informed that she suffers from schizophrenia, which is why she lives alone at her age, and why my mother makes sure to keep her in warm company. I pray this does not come to garner trouble for me later on. I'd not know how to deal with the mentally defunct if she were to suddenly breakdown into a psychotic rage.

>>8319691

Now I'm just left confused as to your gender.

>>8319718
He's a dude, dude.

How lucky are you even to have one in your building. ;_;
That chance would be so slim...

So, /jp/ is like /r9k/ now.

>>8319727
Anyone who didn't see it coming has to be blind. This is the natural progression of letting normals talk freely.

Soon the board will be completely dead though, and we can finally begin the migration.

>>8319730
It's not something recent.
The moment /r9k/ was shut down, this board was flooded. That Ryan kid was from /r9k/ too.

Then you have the /a/ and /v/ people who just watched that piece of shit NHK and think it's super cool to be a NEET on the weekends.

so of everyone posting about having a possible /jp/sie next door, do you all live in the US? I've been apartment hopping in my area for the longest time and the only neighbors I get are old bitter couples and very very unpleasant dark people...
I can't even play my touhou music or anime very loud without headphones without someone coming over and delivering a very unprofessional, sometimes scary, message to me.
is this an indication I should move out of the intercity?

>>8319744
No, it's not recent at all. This has been in the making for a year and a half. I don't doubt /r9k/ being shut down played a part in this.

But it was /jp/'s attitude and the board's utter lack of moderation that allowed this to happen. Now that the board is very outsider friendly the quality will continue to drop much faster, and will finally just be /b/ much like the rest of the site.

>>8319759
They're all lying, but it's good fiction

The best way to deal with dark or old bitter people is to come off scarier than they are, and just ignore them if you're already inside. Let them knock all day.

Also, there is nothing worse than having a "friend" who lives near by and takes that as an excuse to attach themselves to your hip 24/7.

>Live in an super conservative area in Canada
>Never came across someone who even relatively seems like they could be a /jp/er
Feels bad man.

>>8319785
>Live in a politically ambiguous part of Canada
>The only people around me with "otaku" tastes are hipsters
I share your pain...

>>8319793
>Politically ambigous
>Canada
Do you live in the far north or something?

>>8319744
I don't really think trying to befriend fellow NEETs should be considered "get out of /jp/" material.

>>8319767
yes, but I'm afraid of guns so I own none... and they have a lot, I hear them all the time, which is also the only reason I open my door when I hear a knock, because it has to be a neighbor, no one else would come over. damn my irrational fears.
although on your last comment, I've kind of always wanted to have a kramer in my life.
I get zero company, so even being bothered all the time might be good for a change. I move every 6 months so I could put up with it for the time.

>>8319795
Toronto.
Walk one way down the street, you're Conservative. Walk the other way, you're Liberal. Walk into your own house, you're bloody Communists.

There was a guy in a Computer Science lecture I had recently that would play Irisu Syndrome on his laptop during the lecture. He also had Kara no Kyoukai wallpaper and I tried to start a conversation about that but it seemed like he didn't want to talk. I presume he was a /jp/er, I don't know if Irisu Syndrome is all that known elsewhere.

>>8319801
/jp/ should preferably be anti social. They people coming here to hookup are rather undesirable. And frankly do not belong here. That is what /soc/ is for.

also >But you're on a site, you can't be antisocial!!!!!!

>>8319795
>>8319793
>>8319785
no matter where I scroll all I see is greentext

>>8319805

Fuck, that makes me a communist then.

>>8319802
I'm in the same situation as you are then. Though recently I've armed myself. As long as you seem dangerous, and act as though you'll kill them first person who gives you shit, that should be enough. Walk around drunk and starved half to death and try to seem as though you don't really mind dying.

This marks you as too poor to mug, and too bothersome to hassle. And why answer your door at all? Just stand there at the peephole and giggle inwardly at their rage.

>>8319825
well maybe I'm good then, because one of the few times I leave is when I take out trash at 11 in the morning before I go to bed... and I'm usually hammered by then and my hygiene and clothes are awful.
I feel bad for NEETs who don't drink, it's the best way to pass time in between checks, and that 1:50 am walk to the store is always nice, I can get out and not have to deal with anyone besides the arab party store guys who love me and feed me every time I go in, not having to spend money on food is a great plus.
after a year or two of eating middle eastern food it's absolutely delicious.

>>8319893
Lucky. The store where I buy my liquor from stops selling all alcohol at like 8PM. So I have to get up early as hell to buy mine so I don't run into anyone doing it.

And yeah, nothing like not having showered in a month, and wearing clothes that haven't been washed in twice as long, while shit faced drunk, to chase off stupid people and their inane smalltalk.

>>8319909
being 5:30 where I am so I'm drunk, and that this whole thread is /soc/ shit, I'll indulge some information.
detroit is awesome for having a liquor store open till 2 am within 2 blocks of where ever you live. but finding anyone with related interests is impossible.
and it's kind of a antisocial paradise, whenever anyone talks to you, the hood over the head, looking down, is the universal signal for "no, I don't want to buy your crack", which is what I do anyways no matter where I am.
only problem is getting robbed, but I carry 10 bucks at a time and for me, the anxiety level of being robbed is no different than being asked the time of day.

Really Toronto guys?

I Vancouver (the hipster capital of canada) most of the people I hear listening to touhou music / who have touhou wallpapers on their laptops in class / play touhou in class like a faggot. Are FOB asian nerds or insanely creepy white guys. They're relatively easy to talk to get along with, assuming they speak english well enough or aren't too creepy for me to want to associate with. I'm relatively well known around campus though since I help run the games club, join every club on clubsday, and spend my breaks in the gamesroom playing MBAA/FUC/HNK/GG on the PS2, and MVC3/AH3/SF4AE on the PS3 on my arcade stick.

The hipsters all get drunk on PBR and do stereotypical hipster shit in their spare time because they're totally, like freethinkers n shit man.

Fuck I hate you superficial cunts who refuse to be friends with ugly people even though you are probally disgusting yourself.
I wouldn't want to be friends with someone who has such a vile personality
I bet you are all normalfags too so get out of /jp/

>>8319801
I think it is.
Take your shitty hookip stories to /soc/ or /adv/

I have a NEET living in the apartment next to me. He never goes outside. I've only seen him through the peep hole on my door. He's fat as fuck and looks about 35. His mother visits him sometimes~

I think he listens to me a lot. I'm scared he might raep me /jp/. I'm only a little girl in a man's body~

>hikikomori fujoshi touhou anime susume hirasawa
>implying you're connecting to Japanese culture somehow

I sometimes wish I lived in an apartment and could hear some weeaboo or Hiki next door with the same interests I have. The struggle of me trying to meet him and be friends and my desire to not go outside would probably keep me slightly less depressed.

Why is this not deleted yet.
Clearly I haven't reported enough.

>>8321066
puru puru puru puru purru

>>8319801
The problem here is that it isn't about befriending, it's about OP trying to get into a 3DPD girl's pants. Perhaps OP doesn't even realize it, but the way he's going about (and how he's so obsessed with becoming close to her NOW) is setting up for romance, not friendship. Befriending is fine, but if you want relationship advice go to /soc/ or /r9k/.

>>8319388
>I kind of want to see if we can do something for New Years. Nothing big. Maybe I could drop off some of my cooking and say that I thought she'd appreciate it.
>Doesn't seem too creepy or forward, does it?
it does
>I don't want to scare her away
it would

>>8318716
>i don't care that she's female
But you do. You're just in denial.

lucky

Usual shy girls are emotional wrecks.
If you really like listening to meaningless complaining and rude behaviour, go befriend her.
It would be better if you made guy friends though, nightly skype chats and multiplayer video games isn't that bad since most guys don't really care for your more embarrassing interests.

>>8321957
>nightly skype chats and multiplayer video games isn't that bad since most guys don't really care for your more embarrassing interests
I'm too shy to ever talk on a microphone ;_;

>>8321970
Most of the time I keep myself muted anyway.
It's pretty fun sometimes playing Battlefield 3 and occasional 2hu fighting and just listening to other people's voices overall. And if my nerves hurt or if I notice I start shaking I just type in bye and sleep for a while.

DID YOU DO THE COOKIES YET OP

>>8321371
I hope he succeeds. I don't give a fuck if someone else follows a 2D only lifestyle or not, but I can practically smell the jealousy coming from you. Pathetic as fuck.

>>8321371
>it's about OP trying to get into a 3DPD girl's pants.
In case you dislike reading, let me point you to something.
>>8319288
>I don't want in her pants. I don't find her attractive in that sense.
>Guy or girl, it'd still be nice to have a convenient friendship with someone like that.

>>8321371
>but the way he's going about (and how he's so obsessed with becoming close to her NOW) is setting up for romance, not friendship.
We're /jp/, we have no idea of how to befriend people. If he's accidentally setting the wrong flags on her, well, shit happens.

>>8317643

What's the age difference between you and her?

>>8321371
> is setting up for romance
As one of the people on /jp/ that actually have friends, I can that is bullshit. This is what normal people do you dumbass. Food is commonly given when welcoming someone or getting to know them.

> 192 posts and 16 image replies omitted. Click Reply to view.
Jesus.

I guess I'll read this tomorrow when I'm less drunk.
Do "apartment complexes" exist in the UK? I just want a room and a toilet.

>>8325812
I thought that was mostly when somebody was moving in, so you have an excuse to throw them a welcoming party.

Also, the getting-to-know-people stage is only after you're actually getting to know each other. Usually you hold off the food until after first contact.

>>8325856
I take people out to eat or maybe offer them food moments into meeting them all the time. Its a fantastic ice breaker. Its like being in school going up to them saying high and a few words and then asking to eat lunch together. I mean maybe its just me, but I think food is one of the best social items in America.

>>8324509
Yes, I did, and well...
long story short, when I answered the door she looked pretty sad, even though she was smiling.
I told her I had some extra and I thought she appreciate them and she stuttered "y-you didn't h-ave to do that..."

she told me she had some extra pizza and that I could have some if I wanted.

She gave me the pizza and asked me how my New Years was and I asked her how hers was
she said
it was pretty nice


I think I've made some progress

>>8328792

>>8328792
This sounds pretty moe but I'm not sure how moe it was in real life.

Is she asian?

>>8329142
it was pretty moe, but she's still awkward, so I'm not sure
it might be moe to some people

>>8329226
no
she's caucasian

This is a really charming thread. I'd like to see this story to the end.

>>8329311
but then I'd need to make a new thread to update the story

FUCK HER ALREADY

You are going to creep her out if you keep inviting yourself to her door. If she is showing no interest of her own, you are going to be a bother. Even more so if she likes solitude. Just give her your email or phone number or something. Or if you are looking to hook up with her, mention that you would like to get to know her and hang out or go somewhere and then give her the info. If she isnt interested, then so be it

>>8329342
Not so, you could always finish it on Warosu!

>>8329425
i have so many numbers and other contact info of people i'd probably like to be around with sometimes, yet i never contacted them in years. i'd imagine it would be even more hard with opposite gender contact

>>8329311

Yeah, same here! Good job on the progress.

>>8328792
FIGHT! FOR EVERLASTING FRIENDSHIP! COOKIE OTOKO!

Your story makes me wish I had the nerve to go up and talk to someone about tohou, male or female.

Step 1: be a gentlemen
Step 2: Show Confidence
Step 3: Start a Conversation
Step 4: Repeat till your ready to ask her on a coffee date
Step 5: ????
Step 6: Profit

its really that simple

Detecting high levels of moe~ in this thread

Next time you see her, ask her if she's going to download Katawa Shoujo on the 4th.

>>8329538
>Step 1: be a gentlemen
>Step 2: Show Confidence
>Step 3: Start a Conversation

Impossible for us

>>8329617
Maybe for you guys. I find it fairly easy to act like a gentleman and fake confidence.

>>8329623
Faking confidence and acting like a gentleman are easy, starting a conversations always the hard part...

Good job op. I bet she appreciates the effort! Maybe you should ask for her e-mail or something if you see her around the complex again.

Also does anyone feel like this some what like Train Man? Maybe you should get a nice hair cut or something op.

>>8329628

This. The attitude and the manners are ezmodo. It's finding an opening that's tricky!

Also, OP, your thread is completely adorable. Bump!

OH GOD. This thread, ahahhahahaah. My spleen.. IT HURTS. I don't know what the fuck the OP is going to do, but hahahahaha

moe~
>she's reading this thread

>>8329947
it would probably not be good if she was

I totally cheer for OP. Go get her. If you can break the ice and become friends, it's a win.

Man, I'm so jealous right now. Hope you both have a happy new year.

and why did you wait until now to do this op?
if you two had been living there for 6 years...

What a fagit thread.

>>8328792
>she told me she had some extra pizza
>She gave me the pizza

IMHO you shouldn't have taken it.

Consider the alternative angle to this OP. By coming over & giving her cookies, you put her on the spot & she felt obliged to give you something in return, even if she didn't have anything spare to give you. She could well have been saving that pizza to have for dinner tomorrow, but decided that going without a proper dinner tomorrow would be less awkward than 'standing you up' by not giving you something in return for the cookies. Of course she could just go to the shops & buy something, but maybe they're closed because of New Years & maybe she hates breaking from routine (like going to the shops to buy food on a day when she normally wouldn't).

This thread is utterly heartwarming, but please do be careful OP, as you risk doing much more harm than good without even realising it.

>>8330322
>This thread is utterly heartwarming, but please do be careful OP, as you risk doing much more harm than good without even realising it.

This. OP also needs to really stop and think about how she's reacted to him, and whether she's simply shy and awkward, or if she's actually desperate to avoid him but too awkward to blow him off. She could very well have some sort of social anxiety disorder.
I do encourage OP's efforts, but this isn't something to handle lightly.

>>8330463
Looks like deep down she doesn't really like an ugly guy like him talking to her. OR she wants to have social contact but first has to get past her EXTREMELY AUTISTIC BEHAVIOR. Personally I wouldn't like the idea of some ugly awkward girl knocking on my door, now change that to a male that could kill you, you being most of the time alone and all. Yeah.

>>8330493
OP you need to deliver pics of this girl. I have the moeest girl in mind right now but I know she probably isnt it. shatter my dream op1@!

Hey op how attractive are you? We need to get you to look like some trendy Japanese boy asap.

Btw I think if she simply thought you were a burden she wouldn't answer the door would she? Or go to your door or whatever. You did write that kind of funny.

I think you've done well so far, OP.

Sakura could be right, though, so you don't wanna force yourself on this girl. There's also the distinct possibility that the "pop-in" isn't going to be as warmly received as a potential friendship. I fucking hated that shit when I lived alone. I don't mind dealing with people as much when it's on my terms or time table.

What I would do is just let her know that you're available if she ever wants to hang out but you don't want to freak or creep her out. Maybe just by leaving a little note or card or something. Phrase it like "I'm a bit socially awkward and I don't want to impose,". That might take some pressure off. Put the ball in her court. You don't want to ask her for a response on the spot, anyway, because that's probably not going to elicit a truthful response. Leave her your email address or phone number and tell her to give you a buzz if she ever wants to come over and watch anime/play video games, whatever.

What a nice thread.

Keep going OP! There will be a few of us here rooting for you!

And remember, cuddling is more enjoyable than sex by far!

>cuddling is more enjoyable than sex

Haha. No.

>>8330981
Is that why we spend so much on Dakimakuras but get all our porn for free from the net?

no, sex is pretty damn amazing.
not sure how to top it

>>8331080
>>8331177

ITT virgins

>>8331192
>implying virgin

>>8331080

gtfo lewd person!

>>8331177
Why do people think this?
I'm not a virgin ;_; so I feel I'm qualified to say that sex is overrated. I didn't have a bad experience or anything too--I had sex multiple times in different ways with an attractive, loving partner. I mean I guess it's fine when you get in the mood or whatever but lots of things are better. I'd rather play a game or something, that's more fun and usually lasts longer.

>>8331211
hey its not my fault you last only 10 secs

Holy shit, what's going on in this thread?

This must be the shitposters' trump card: "bring in the females"

>>8331228

Sure is winter break in here.

No real person on /jp/ would be making fun of anothers sexual stamina, because they know good and proper that no one here ever has sex. Even if they did, they wouldn't talk about it here, because it's /jp/.

Now leave.

>>8331244
>he mad due to lasting only 10 secs

>>8331244
If how long you last with an onahole is relative to how long you'd last during sex, then I'm going to go ahead and laugh at the people who don't last longer than five minutes. Still, I don't think I've masturbated longer than 20 mintues with an onahole but that's only because you need to reapply lube every now and then otherwise it will possibly rip. I can't afford to use too much lube.

I've always wanted to have an onahole sitting there and lubed up and only use it to ejaculate inside. That reminds me of a story I read about a brother and a sister having sex and the sister was getting too old so the brother ejaculated in the younger sister who was too young to get pregnant.

/jp/ - Smooth Operators

>>8328792
ADORABLE.

Coming from someone with completely no experience in that area, I can only suggest to go very slowly. Perhaps even that cookie happening was too transparent.
When you see her doing laundry, talk (a bit); no more food-giving, no note-leaving, god forbid "asking her out". You could say the ball is in her camp now. Be prepared to have it lying there forever.

Would it actually be bad if she read this thread? I suppose not, she'd have more mutual interests, and she'd know your intentions.

>>8331487
And make a new thread already, OP.

>>8331277
That really turns me on.

>>8331507
> r:252 / i:20
Why?

>>8331571
It was written from the older sister's perspective. It was on a site called TYGER (The Young Girl Erotica Repository, or something like that) and it was named something along the lines of "Safe Sex". There were two stories with that name and I think the other was also about cumming inside of a sister who was too young, except in this one the kids were home alone and got the sister drunk and she became very docile. Written from the younger brother's perspective who did not write about cumming inside of his sister, although he mentions at the end that by the time their parents came back he was no longer a virgin.

>>8331487

I think that girl reading this thread would probably be a good thing. OP just wants to have a friend basically, and her coming across this thread would be the easiest way of her finding that out.

Right now she might think he's some creeper or just wants to fuck.

>>8331610
>he's some creeper
what if he wants to blow her house up and destroy her diamonds?