>Become accustomed to pain. Turn on your stove, clench your fist, and leave it above the fire for as long as you can without needing a trip to the hospital. Buy wooden rectangles that you can break with your forehead. Don't take warm showers, only cold baths.

Why would I do this.

so...life hacks thread?
these reminds me of the HELLa good ol' days readin up on life hacks at /b/ xD

❥ Make sure to wear panties instead of normal underwear. It feels much better.

>Become accustomed to pain
But why?

>❥ Become accustomed to pain. Turn on your stove, clench your fist, and leave it above the fire for as long as you can without needing a trip to the hospital. Buy wooden rectangles that you can break with your forehead. Don't take warm showers, only cold baths.

wat

>>8136816

if you regularly expose yourself to pain you are dulled to it. You don't fear pain. And fear of pain is a lot of what keeps a NEET a NEET

❥ Take up gunsmithing. Craft your own custom barrels and ammunition's. Keep specification sheets for them locked in a safe.
❥Take midnight jogs. Less stress from people watching you during the day.
❥Clear public records on the internet. If you make purchases, take out money from the bank months before hand, or close your accounts all together. Rely on bitcoins whenever possible.

Does inserting sharp objects into my anus count as becoming accustomed to pain?

>>8136827
But I want to stay that way.

❥ <-- wtf is this? Africa?

>>8136830

No, that'd count as accustomed to pleasure...

>>8136835

>>8136828
>❥ Take midnight jogs.
❥ Buy an exercise bike and get fit while posting on /jp/

>>8136841
I like fresh air though. I actually do that one.

Make sure you carry something to defend yourself with though. Handgun preferably. Knife will just end up badly.

❥ Fuck this shit and take it easy

>Turn vegan.
I thought this was supposed to be advice on how to get healthier, not turn into a faggot.

>>8136848
Usually the ones running in the night are rape/rob you not gonna get assaulted.
I used to run in the night when I was younger and one day I ran in a old woman or a very wasted hippie, can't remember well now, he saw me, throw his wallet at me and began to run in the other direction.

>>8136811
Pain is an obsolete function of the brain. Thanks to miracles of modern medicine, it's very easy to discern damage without needing to know if an injury hurts. Now, nerves are used by others as a means of control. You don't want to deal with arm twistings, do you? That's a rhetorical question.

By the time you've finished desensitizing your body, you'll be able to resist even the most strenuous Vietnam torture and earn the privilege of ice cube baths.

>>8136898
Go pump in some more heroin.

>>8136898
You forgot to add that we also use nerves for pleasure.

>Go door-to-door pretending to be a government figure
"Hello, I am from the loli inspection service. I have come to inspect your lolis!"

>>8136827
>if you regularly expose yourself to pain you are dulled to it.
Nope.

Hey, you're that shitposter.

Is this what you filled your mind with all those years, Patchy?

neet does not mean hikki, duh

as for practical goals for the chronically shiftless, maybe "weed n' sex, errday" or failing that, a clever scheme of getting steam achievements for porn games in order to enter&win a pro gaming death-match tournament and capture a goddess

> Become accustomed to pain.

I've had ingrown toenails all my life. It a pain that I will never become accustomed to. Sometime I wish I could just cut off my toes.

>>8136823
op is a pyro, he neds porno for pyros

>>8136937
16 year old detected.

>>8136942
Cut one off and send it to your family. Pretend to be kidnapped and make them pay for your "release". Never leave your room again in the foreseeable future.

>>8136958
Brilliant

>>8136958
This is brilliant. I am doing this.

Thank you meido.

I really wish I was NEET but I'm to beta to become one. Kinda sad, isn't it?

Funny part is "turn vegan" is worse advice than "become accustomed to pain".
I mean, making your life shittier will make it easier on you once you get thrown out of your parent's basement, but veganism is never a good idea. You might as well just stop eating, because your body will be out of half the stuff you actually need to eat.
Unless you're willing to buy supplements. Which will cost so much your parent's patience will be decimated.

>>8136958
Someone's seen the Big Lebowski.

>become vegan
Fuck this.

>When you repeat something, you are reliving a moment, wasting it, severing it from the other end of your life.
Then what are you still doing here?

But what if i like videogames and my animu?

Your list seems to be tailored to prepare people for living innawoods, /new/ style.

>>8136958
This requires that your family give two shits about you.

>>8136867
I read somewhere that if you drink enough soy milk you become more feminine.

>>8137022
>2011
>not wearing flannel shit with tight jeans
>not growing a beard
>not being vegan

do you even know what being a NEET is?

>>8137039
I've heard similar, though not that it makes you feminine, but contains a compound similar to estrogen or something to that effect.

>>8137039
that why all those asian countries have such femmie men

Some good tips, most are borderline retarded though. They'd only serve to turn depressive hikkis into suicidal wracks.

>>8137039
Soy does indeed contain estrogen, but in rather underwhelming quantities. So you would probably need to drink about 1 lake of soy milk a day. Not a particularly big one, but a lake nonetheless.

>>8137078
So much for that strategy.

Well, I like the taste anyway. It's like drinking candy.

>>8137054
Most East-Asians don't consume that much soy. As a Chinese, drinking soy milk and eating soybean curd my whole life sadly hasn't transformed me into the little girl yet.

>>8137133
I'm also a chinese and have you not noticed how our people are all fucking wimps?

The most important thing is an internet connection.

Take shit from public places that you can use like toilet paper, napkins, etc.

Try to get at least a little bit of exercise. It really makes you feel better. Take walks at night, and bring protection. If you're ballsy, fish around for unlocked cars; you'll find a lot of shit.

If you have money, most supermarkets have a corner with day-old bread and almost-expired perishables for next to nothing. If you don't have money, dumpster dive.

>>8137144
>If you're ballsy, fish around for unlocked cars; you'll find a lot of shit.

You sound like a class A asshole, I hope you get cancer and die.

>>8137139
It's because mainlanders have no culture and manners thanks to communism and the diaspora are cowards.

>>8137139
Asian culture places the collective before the individual, which is why they generally seem "weaker".

>>8137148
I used to be a desperate person. If you're needy, there's always crime. Taking /jp/ into consideration, breaking into unlocked cars in the dead of night is a lot easier than stealing from stores/people in the daytime.

In any case, I did used to be a horrible person, I probably still am.

>>8136898
What if instead of ice cube baths
I take boiling water showers.

>>8137163
I think other way, they are weak because they place the collective before the individual, maybe because they are naturally weak as individuals they've developed a strong social empathy so they could in bigger groups.

>>8137148
butthurt normal got his tires stoeln

>>8137188
You've just described every civilization ever.

>>8137193
only a faggot would resort to steal from another person.

How about sleep aids? I find that the best earplugs are the blue Hearos ones. I used to use some purple ones, but it seems like no two would be the same, and I would have one ear that was 'sealed' and another that wasn't. This could be somewhat remedied by putting some vaseline in your ear before putting in the earlug, but since my right ear hole is smaller than the left it never entirely sealed my ear.

Those ones I mentioned are really wide so they make a nice seal.

>>8137198
I'd rather steal than work.

>>8137207
I don't get people who use earplugs? I mean do you live downtown or someshit?

>>8137211
I don't work either bro my parents pay for everything but if they cut me off I'd never get the point of stealing

>>8137188
The problem with Chinese people sure as fuck isn't that they're too socially empathetic.

>>8137198
People will probably appreciate their stuff more if it could vanish at any moment.

>>8137220
It can. Quantum whatsit.

>>8137219
I blame the total destruction of virtues thanks to the cultural revolution.

>>8137198
butthurt normal too scared to steal

>>8137188
Individuals tend to be weak regardless of where they come from, it's why people even bother to help each other--because they need help in return. In places where the individual is placed before the collective, the people aren't necessarily stronger, they only seem that way. Americans are endlessly pretentious and obsessed with image; to the point where their individuality is lost. If the people of a country are "naturally weak", at least they are true to their nature.

>>8137231
I think the Cultural Revolution was far too short an event to really have a chance of eradicating virtue.

>>8137216
>I'd never get the point of stealing
Only because you've never been pushed to that point.

>>8137051
Peppermint tea has relatively high levels of phytoestrogen in hot water.

>>8137242
How about around 200 years of war, famine and social turmoil leading up to that point.

>>8137260
Yeah, but war, torture, and endless turmoil was de facto standard for most of the world up until not that long ago, not just China.

>>8137216
Suburbia, but my neighbor owns a landscaping company and they test their machines around 6AM, right as I'm going to sleep. That same neighbor also has kids that beep their car alarm througout the day. There's also the random landscaper that cuts the grass ever few weeks as well as those obnoxiously loud exhausts of trucks and cars. Even if I live a mile away from the onramp I can still hear those cars accelerating to get on the freeway. There's also the occasional phone ringing, doorbell ringing, dogs barking, ect. My neighbor has also been getting the front of her house and it's annoying to hear the backing up beeps and shovels of gravel being put into a wheelbarrel.

It's easiest to use earplugs, especially if you sleep through the day.

>>8137266
In my opinion and without any credible references I would argue that on a whole, China suffered a lot worse than most other nations. The Taiping rebellion rebellion is one of the bloodiest civil wars in history and China was well known as the sick old man of Asia for a long time. On the other hand, Japan was successful in the bulk of it's wars and the civil wars that enabled it's reforms were not as destructive as those of China. Lets not forget that as much as Chinese nationalists like to whitewash it, the Qing dynasty was essentially a foreign rule that radically changed many aspects of Chinese culture to suit the Manchu rulers. The Chinese suffered from too many lost-generations as a result of all these upheavals, rather than the briefer period of destruction that Japan experienced after ww2.

>Television was invented for mind control. Films made before 1970 are okay since they are outdated and have subliminal messages incompatible to products of modern times (you).

Dude what?

>>8137319
op is prob a conspiracy faggot, subliminal messages don't work anyways.

>>8137319
Not the OP but I'm starting to wonder if TV is not being used to brainwash certain demographics. I think it's apparent to me.

>>8137319
Advertisements are basically brainwashing. I don't think anyone seriously believes that advertising is just humbly presenting your product to your target demographic. No, they got all kinds of little tricks to make you desire products you don't need or even want. Even if you're strong enough to keep them from directly influencing your actions, they definitely pollute your mind. Seriously, don't underestimate the influence shit like that can have on you.

>>8137353
It works 100% on the niggers, with the hispanics it's different. They are so nationalistic that they are only influenced by their own mediums, though, again, only the idiots are affected by it. The smart ones are immune to it, just like every other smart person.

>>8137430

But saddly you can't be smarter than the whole publicity industry.

Doesn't matter how smart you are, you have feelings and they have people thinking 24/7 how to appeal to them to make you buy their stuff, you know, publicity is not something as simple as cool contrasts of colors or sticky slogans, belive it from some in the industry.

The fact that you said that and we now know it just makes our job easier.

>>8137461
Ah, but some of us don't buy into that shit. I try not to, at least. Partly because I'm a cheap ass who cannot be bothered to buy anymore than what I need besides internet and maybe video games once in a while.

I don't watch TV but one thing I am very willing to buy time and time again are limited edition drinks. Even if it's only once to see how they taste I feel like I must taste them at least once. This goes mostly for sodas, but there are also limited edition beers and teas that I feel like I need to try. I don't think that has anything to do with brainwashing though.

>>8137461
Publicity is wasted on someone who pirates nigh everything and is very alienated from the mainstream society.

Nice effort though. I'd appreciate it if you stopped shoving sex and shooters down the throats of everyone.

>>8137293
You're forgetting both world wars.
Killed pretty much all the men in France, Germany, Britain, and Russia.

Only difference being Russia still has men.

>>8137461
P.S. Publicity and marketing in general is full of parasites. Just think of all the progress we could make if your talented think tanks applied themselves to scientific fields instead of coming up with 1000 new ways to sell things to people.

>>8137509
At least it drove the jews out of europe.

Only problem is all of them invaded america.

A text file on your computer is the most convenient way to keep a journal

>>8136813
.....is there a difference? isn't A = B, or at least a subset of B?

>>8137187
skin peeling off is quite damaging for the body.

Sex is good sexual repressed creature!!

>Document everything you think and do everyday.
>Try not to write down useless information

>>8137509
>Only difference being Russia still has men.
russia has the by far most declining birth rate of all europeans countries. if this will continue soon the muslims and chinese will take over russia.

>>8137571
Orgasms are good. Sex is just a means to that end, so fuck it.

>>8137602
How would you know?

>>8137844
Were you born without hands or something?

>>8137844
How wouldn't I know?

>>8137854
>❥ Get in shape. Too much sitting around and abuse has likely ruined your body. If you're on medication, get off it. Turn vegan.

>get off medication


Are you fucking retarded? unless you're mentally fit/prepared for this, don't do stupid shit like this.


Also I like the idea of being resistant to pain, maybe I would finally be able to become a hero or something. Just gotta watch out for them penile nerve endings, can't ruin those niggas.

>>8137854
Even without hands, it would've taken considerable effort to avoid having an orgasm.

>>8136898
>By the time you've finished desensitizing your body, you'll be able to resist even the most strenuous Vietnam torture and earn the privilege of ice cube baths.
>ice cube baths

inb4 massive influx of dead NEETS / hikkis due to pneumonia.

I am okay with this.

>>8137895
Why'd you remove me from steam, fag.

Eat a bucketful of shit, OP. You're the weirdest fucking normalfag I ever seened.

>>8137927
I don't have a Steam, sorry!

>>8137937
Is that right.

I'm watching you.

>>8137941

>>8137944
I guess cats are fine too though.

>Keep a diary around...
sound advice, go on please
>Never expect anything from anyone, Plan new daily routines every night, Get in shape.
also very good advice, this could be a good post
>If you're on medication, get off it. Turn vegan.
wanted to stop reading right there
>read entire rest of this post anyway
what the fuck, why would you ever do any of these fucking things. i mean what is this i don't even...
signed,
a former vegan, former NEET. if you want my "hikki credentials" i spent nearly 2 years where i left the house less than 10 times and wouldn't even go in my backyard.
now i'm on medication, have a therapist and do physical exercise and either masturbate or have sex every day, and guess what, i also leave the house and go to school every day. oh, and i eat meat, because MEAT IS FUCKING GOOD FOR YOU WHEN YOU EAT THE CORRECT KIND OF MEAT CORRECTLY PREPARED. if you want to nearly die of vitamin b12 deficiency, anemia and anorexia like me, then please, go ahead and be vegan.
jesus fucking christ.

>>8137193
yup. how the fuck you gonna be butthurt and go on 4chan? what fag huh? too much moralfags around these days

=====

also LOL OP is giving dumb ass advice. hipster advice, tin-foil hat advice, etc. what's the deal with that?

>>8137582

damn so OP was a damn good troll.

nice spot. i give him a 7/10. he's still a faggot though.

>>8137990
>>8138006
Go away.

>>8137955

i been trying to eat healther. what's your take on frozen vegetables? the best way to eat them is to steam them, to get all the nutrients right?

and what's a good healthy meat to eat? one that's not to hard to good every night.

and how do you eat kidney beans right? in a can there's a lot of preservative shit i hear.

>>8138012

Fuck you faggot.

I wash my hands with steaming hot water 10-20 times each day (Each session of hand-washing being around 10 minutes long). I can honestly say that killing your nerves sucks. Now when I masturbate it doesn't even feel like I have a cock in my hand. How am I supposed to imagine myself giving men handjobs like this!?

>>8138017
Why not get fresh veggies?

>>8138017

steamed or raw vegetables are best i believe. i like to keep some frozen vegetables such as peas/corn that i then microwave with some soup stock and an egg (i mix a raw egg into the soup and it cooks in the microwave). you could prepare the same thing in a much healthier manner if you cook it on a stove, i don't recommend microwaving food much but it's something i eat when i'm really busy since it takes <5 mins to make.

basically try to avoid using oils, or overcooking and frying. a healthy oil to cook with that tastes very neutral is macadamia nut oil (it also doesn't go bad like olive oil does) but it can be expensive.

i eat a lot of beef, chicken is also extremely good for you but unfortunately i don't like it. generally the rule with meat is never eat blackened meat, don't eat it if it's "greasy" or covered in sauces and too much oil, you want to eat it rare to medium-rare. try not to eat too much bacon or anything.

you can rinse out any canned beans and soak them in water if you want. there are lots of ways to prepare them. most beans are extremely good for you (just dont get cans of baked beans loaded with sugar) and can replace carbohydrates in a big portion of your diet if you cook with them correctly. they're good in soups, there are lots of recipes online.

you should also try and eat more eggs (again, prepare them right), probiotic yoghurt and nuts (preferably with low sodium/unsalted). some nuts can be high in calories so don't overdo it. other dairy products and soy products are both OK or even beneficial in moderation but too much of both can be bad for you (it also depends whether you get organic or whatever).

bring /ck/ to your /jp/ and i don't even go to that board.

>❥turn vegan
>❥don't fap to girls

No, I've had my fill of faggots from all the "suck my dick" posts on /jp/. I'm not about to become one myself.

That and I would rather die than give up pork, beef, salmon, shrimp, squid, various whitefish, and most importantly, my chinese cartoon girls.

>>8138043
Flash frozen vegetables are fresher than fresh produce. Seriously.

>>8138075
Where do you live?

>>8138066
>❥don't fap to girls
Whoa, I thought he just meant don't have sex (which is, of course, preaching to the choir).
Fuck, what bad advice.

>>8138080
Not within walking distance of a farm.
You know how long produce sits around in warehouses and in refrigerators, right? And most of the time stuff isn't even ripe.

>>8138075
This is true.

There was a frozen mammoth discovered a few years ago. Flash freeze, even the meat and the food in its mouth was still edible.

>>8138089
I usually just go to the farmer's market on Thursdays, the only day it's up. I don't think the stuff is sitting for as long as you think.

>>8138092
Now I am intensely curious if any of them ate or tried to sell mammoth cuts.

I mean, surely -someone- out of all the people involved had to think "Okay, this meat is fresh, it would be a crime against humanity to not taste it."

>>8138102
I read the article years ago, but I'm sure some of them tasted bits of it.

>>8138102
I seem to recall mammoth was once served at a party commemorating its discovery, but I may be off my rocker.

>>8138098
You know I'm not talking about a farmers market.

>>8136803
>turn vegan
Stopped reading right there.

>>8136803
>❥ Get in shape. Too much sitting around and abuse has likely ruined your body. If you're on medication, get off it.
This is a bad idea. While it's true that some people take unnecessary medication, there are also people who require to stay healthy.

Your other advice is mostly excellent, albeit overly dramatic.

/jp/ /adv/ice time?

Never use a word processor to do a text editor's job. Use word processors ONLY for the job they were designed to do, that is, formatting and layout. You can get a lot more done this way.

>Remove sexuality from yourself. If you have a weak soul and are addicted to sex, then chemical castration is an acceptable solution.
I support this fully.

>soy milk
Unless you are taking a powerful diuretic to reduce testosterone levels you would need lethal levels of estrogen in the body to have any discernible effect.

Dear /jp/,
I just wanted you to know, I just had the best fap session of my life. My hips were moving on their own and everything.

Love, anon.

Why are all women evil? Do you mean to say all females? What about lolies? I must strongly object.

>>8138222
Finasteride is a mild- anti-androgen, if you want to go that route.

>>8138280
spironolactone is a very strong anti-androgen, and a favorite of 420chan's /cd/ (amateur endocrinology) board. It has a bunch of very unpleasant side effects though and may be hard to acquire. Of course, if you are going through the effort to get heavier diuretics you may as well also just get estradiol instead of soy milk.

>>8138293
Yes, spiro is pretty common recommendation on /cd/. But you can just go and tell your doctor you're worried about hair loss and get yourself prescribed some finasteride, no such dice with spiro.

>>8138295
>>8138293
Do people actually do this?

>Turn vegan.

Stopped reading there.

>>8138435
Apparently so. You can seriously fuck yourself up if you do it wrong though, and arguably you fuck yourself up even if you do it right.

You'll grow breasts (unless you are in your teens though they will not ever reach any reasonable size), but you will still have a beard/manhands/derp-voice. You will also be sterile forever after, even if you discontinue the medication.

>>8138234
what you fapped to, sweetheart?

>>8138066
For someone claiming to be straight, you sure do love meat.

> Women are the demons of the world.

lol, stopped reading right there.

Especially your mom; she's a demon in the sack.

I don't get why /jp/ is not happy anymore with just imagining to be a little girl, but wanting to physically become one. Female is still the loser gender in our society. Disadvantages everywhere, and life is much more exhausting as a female. Males are allowed to not give a fuck about their appearance, for example.