You are fucking retarded.

Janitors will catch you, bro.

>>4580885
If you are a female you can live with me.

I'm pretty sure they'll start to recognise you over time.

Great idea

That sounds really fucking dumb. You'll get no nutrition and will probably get really sick after a couple of days.

>>4580900
Well, duh.

I wouldn't be in this position if I were smart.

>>4580905
I don't think you understand just how big this Muvico is. There's always at least a thousand people there. How would they manage to recognize me among that many people? Maybe they would think I just watch a lot of movies.

>>4580916
I'll pass. Muvico sounds better than living with /jp/. At least I won't get raped there.

>>4580936
>>4580936
>>4580936
>>4580936
>>4580936

Kill yourself. It's the end of everything. You might see Kaguya in afterlife and serve her for eternity.

>>4580959
You won't get raped, I'm the perfect gentlemen. it's warm, comfortable, and you can play on my computer while I'm at work.

Sounds like a great plot for an eroge. Your every day Japanese Highschool protagonist just happens to have a part time job at a large movie theatre. One of routes is an older woman working on her degree who is your manager, and other is a girl who has been using the movie theatre like people use 24/7 internet cafes when they have no place to go. Just find a few more routes and bam.

>>4580980

If he's a girl. She could be your maid. What cha waitin' fo, OP?

>>4580885
You can stay with me and my mother anonymous. The basement is huge, and its cool in the summer. We can divide the room with sheets. If you don't moan when you orgasm when fapping to Touhou doujins then I won't either.

Mom does laundry on Mondays and only cooks dinner, so you may be required to make some meals yourself. I think she'd be happy I found a friend.

If you live in California you can stay at my place.

It's good to know there is someone dumber than me on this board. If your last resort is living in a movie theater, then you're better off dead.

Lot of excited rapists ITT

>>4581026
>Lot of excited frilly dress wearing little girls ITT

fix'd

>>4581026
How dare you suggest we would lower ourselves to 3d.

>>4581024

>sage in the subject field

No, I don't think there is someone dumber than you here.
Also thanks for the good laugh OP.

>>4580980
>>4581003
I'll think about it if one of you lives near north Florida.

If not, I'm going with my Muvico plan. I mean, it's either that or homelessness. What are they going to do to me, throw me in jail? That would only be an improvement.

>>4581045

Rob a bank. If they don't catch you, you get lots of monies. If they catch you, you get to stay in jail for some time.

>>4581045
>Florida
>jail

I think homelessness is better

>>4580885
I'd let you chill at my place for a while. Don't worry, no rapists in my house. though you'd prolly should stay away from one of my roommates, he's rabid.

Go find a homeless shelter, that's what they're there for.

>>4581062
I would also have a felony on my record, which would screw me for life. Also, good luck robbing a bank with a bicycle as my mode of transportation.

>>4581045
Sorry, I'll have to buy you a train ticket so you can move. Still willing to take me up on the offer?

>>4581062
THIS. Seriously, states spend more on prisons than education now. Hell, murderers eat better than most 2nd class families.

>>4581068
Jail is better than a homeless shelter. Rich people go to jail and manage, so I think I would be just fine.

>>4581071
No.

What about your local government? Most likely they will support you if you will be homeless.

We had applied for food stamps last week. $200 per month isn't bad at all too.

>>4580981
I'd play it. GET ON IT ANONYMOUS.

a) Muvico
b) Prison
c) Homeless shelter

/jp/ gives the best advice.

>>4581070

A bycicle is EVEN BETTER. You can enter places you couldn't with a car. And it's different from movies, the police won't get there right away.

>>4581079
Don't be so tsun for me. I'll give you an allowance.

>>4581086
out of all of 4chan. I would have to agree. thank god nobody said "do a barrel roll!" or some shit like that.

>>4581079
>Rich people go to jail and manage

Not the same prisons the OP would end up at. High security prisons are incredibly violent and terrible. Mostly because states like it that way. Prisoners raping and killing each other means they can't unify and try to over take the prison. It's been that way ever since Attica.

If you're going the state jail housing option, Rape a little girl. SO's are assigned to 'safer' areas of the prison so that they don't get killed on sight by the prisoners.

i love /jp/

>>4581105

>High security prisons are incredibly violent and terrible.

I don't think someone with a clean record would end up in a place like that..

>>4581105
Somehow I doubt I could even get convicted for rape if I tried since I'm a female.

Goddamn double standards.

>>4581081

This

Get food stamps
Get on welfare
Jump in front of a car and get on disability

Enjoy your government-funded NEETship

>>4581126
Then don't just try, succeed. Preferably by raping another girl.

>>4581119
Ha! They don't give a fuck. They will put you in with the worst because there in no other place to put you.

>>4581119

Bank Robbery will. Low security prisons are for shit like petty theft, tax evasion, fraud, and such.

>>4581126
I will be severely disappointed if I don't see this in the news by the end of the week.

Hey OP....
DO A BARREL ROLL!!!!!1

>>4581133
>>4581119
wait if your a woman, that means you go to a female prison. it's not as bad there. it's still bad but you don't get shanked as often.

>>4581154
fuck you, get back to /b/

>>4581154

>>4581166
But you still can't bend over in the showers. Or bend over backwards.

You can live with me, OP. I'm a girl so it's impossible for me to be a rapist but in return you'll have to let me dress you up in frilly clothes whenever I want and have tea with me. :3

>>4581140
Not if you're an amateur who has no idea what hes doing.

>>4581215

>>4581215
I would do that. Too bad I'm not the OP.

OP you should seriously live with one of the people in this thread who's offering it.

I've met up with tons of people from the internet and I know people who've run out of money/gotten fired/gotten kicked out of their mom's basements and gone to live with random people from the internet. It actually turns out okay most of the time.

>>4581215
>i'm a girl so its impossible for me to be a rapist
5/10, in before 400 replies

>>4581215
This, you should do this. and she can posts pictures of the glorious events.

>>4581217

It doesn't make a difference bro, almost any felony is enough to get dropped into a hellhole simply because low-security prisons are full. The US incarceration system is overloaded(mostly by niggers). Even minor drug offenses have resulted in people getting tossed into high security joints.

>>4581126
You have a vagina. Even if you're unattractive (which is likely, considering where you are and your lifestyle) you could at least be fucking some nerdy older guy with a decent job for a place to live.

>>4581234
>most of the time

I don't consider myself a lucky person.

My sister is going to marry a dude she met on the internet, feels bad man

>>4581003 posting again. You're female OP? Well my mom always did want a daughter. I guess you can be my imouto. Just don't tell me your favorite eroge is Kana Little Sister and I'm ok with it. I don't want to wake up and find myself being groped.

>>4581326
The hell, I'd love to wake up to being groped by a girl.

>>4581140

As long as no weapon is used, I think she would still got to low-sec.

>>4581335
But she's going to be my imouto. That's wrong! Do you want me to live out some sort of Hitomi My Stepsister fantasy?

>>4581335
Really? You must be a sick fuck then.

>>4581319
Serves you right for not sleeping with her first.

>>4581326
It's my 3rd favorite right behind Clannaids and Ever17.

>>4581310
You're just making excuses because you don't have the guts to actually go through with anything.

>>4581339

Bank robberies are classified as violent crimes no matter what type of threat is used. This is because all banks are insured by the federal government.

Robbing a bank will get your ass raped by the state in terms of prison selection and judgement, and then by Niggers\Spics\Nazis in the actual prison.

>>4581348
Well the first two don't have ero content but the 3rd sends out the warning signal.

How is your Japanese? Do you like Touhou? Am I going to wake up and find that you stole my Reimu costume and are wearing it around? I'm kind of scared I would find 3d attractive if you did.

>>4581310
Yet you want to live in Muvico? Taking up one of these people on their offer would probably be safer, all things considered.

>>4580885
Do a barrel roll.

>>4581383

I agree.

>>4581302
>>You have a vagina. Even if you're unattractive (which is likely, considering where you are and your lifestyle) you could at least be fucking some nerdy older guy with a decent job for a place to live.

But that would be lowering one's standards!!

And since you don't live near me, I suggest either the movie idea or living at Petsmart. I believe I don't need to explain why the latter would work.

Also, this is our third thread where someone from Florida was about to become homeless.

>>4581397
They should get government assistance and live together like Three's Company.

>>4581340

Yes. We do. Be sure to post details. ALL OF THEM.

>>4581359

Humm. Perhaps. Would need to look that up.

I'd be willing to house you for free (only for a short while, obviously, being a NEET myself)... if you would be able to travel all the way to new york.

I'm sure there are some anons here who are the same way, but actually near you. I dislike the idea of meeting anyone from /jp/ as much as everyone else would but its still a better option than muvico/jail/homeless. or better yet, get a job and a life - but it's easier to do these things one step at a time.

good going OP, this is one of the stupidest ideas I have ever heard, and has resulted in one of the funniest threads I have read tonight.

Why hasn't anyone suggested moving back in with their parents?

>>4581506

Likely, because we all know the truth: She's Batman. Her parents are DEAAAAD.

>>4581523
>Batgirl
fixed

>>4581526

No, no. BatMAN. It's a trap, you see.

Hey OP, in my country, you can ask for a temporal (like a week or so) shelter within a church or a monastery. Don't know if it works in the USA though.
You better get your ass moving and find a job. Almost anything is fine as long as it can support you (try for a burger-flipper in your local McDonald's, for example).

>>4581566

Where do you live?

I would also suggest moving in with one of these failures. Your original idea just sounds awful. You try to make it sound all hyped up and exciting but you know deep down it'd be a piece of shit lifestyle. Try getting a small loan from someone to relocate to an anonymous here (or hey, you could even ask for a loan from anon himself. Just be his slave or something to work it off little by little.) just enough to get on a Greyhound to your destination. That one anonymous who said he had a job sounds like a solid choice. Worst case scenario, he's a rapist, get fucked hard in every orifice of your body, impregnated by him as a result and/or get your throat slit and have your body dumped in a river.

But hey, whatever.

OP's post was amusing, but the resulting response from /jp/ is even more hilarious.

>>4581644
I would never slit the throat of a woman who was bearing my child. I figure that makes me a pretty good person.

>>4581644
> Worst case scenario, he's a rapist, get fucked hard in every orifice of your body, impregnated by him as a result and/or get your throat slit and have your body dumped in a river.

Maybe OP likes Black Cyc games.

>>4581644

>get your throat slit and have your body dumped in a river.

I'd rather hang myself than kill the bearer of my child.

>>4581566
you can get all kinds of secular govt benefits in the U.S., particularly if you're convincingly nuts and/or have been arrested.

I know 3 bums on my block who DO NOT WORK and have their own apartments. There are more who use the shelters. You don't need to go fellate a catholic priest here to avoid sleeping under a bridge (as a matter of fact, the police would transport you from there to the drunk tank if you tried)

I assumed it worked similarly in euroshitland, etc.

>>4581664
>>4581669
Just kill the fetus. Two /jp/ posters should NEVER breed with each other.

>>4581684

Hey, wait.

We should let them breed, see what happens to the child as he/she grows up.

>>4581692
Are you a scientist, per chance?

>>4581692
A super NEET that has evolved to the point that it no longer needs to eat and emits its own wifi signal. We'd be doomed.

>>4581693

Yes, you could say that.

>>4581684
Does this pic has source? Or it's original art? Because if it's from VN, I want to play it now

Goddammit /jp/, I just had to read this thread before bed. Now I'm going to dream about /jp/ posters mating and bringing about the downfall of humanity.

>>4581703
I like your style, Prof. Anonymous.

>>4581707
>implying humanity is at a current high at all

>>4581708

Thank you, dear student. Now, get me a cup of coffee, I'm going to do an all nighter on the specimen.

>>4581712
Right away, sir!
How do you like your coffee?

>>4581717

Get me a dark one.

Back to OP's hunt for a home:

You should really have an Anon keep you in. It may not be a good plan, but, you'll be fine.

Incidentally, use hand grenades to rob banks, they can go through the defensive glass they have up. Fastest way to do this is to acquire some deactivated surplus grenade. All the difference in looks between a live one is yellow paint on it/around it. Paint over said yellow band and hey presto you have a 'live' hand-grenade. Present to cashier ... Instant funding.

Pic related, that's what a deactivated handgrenade looks like.

>>4581129
It takes a long time to get onto welfare... and you're usually denied the first time around.... Depending on the state it would be easier to get into a crisis center or so. If OP is a femanon there'd be some women's shelters in parts of the state... depending on population density. Another thing to check into would be crisis shelters... if you've got some sort of mental disorder the state may help you with a temporary place.
I was nearly homeless for a month, claimed a mental crisis and got into a shelter within 48 hours... a case worker helped me land a cheap apartment (it was haunted, but cheap) within a few weeks and I had to participate in some groups and a medicine regimen. Not necessarily the easiest plan but it may be an option.

>>4581848
OP should punch herself and claim to be a victim of domestic violence.

>>4581739
What happens if they call your bluff?

>>4581870

Fly to germany and do it then. I hear a bunch of guys robbed a bank completely unarmed.

>>4581873
But if I had the money to fly to Germany I wouldn't need to rob a bank.

>>4581876
get a loan

>>4581215
would you consider taking a boy for this position? ;_;

But how will you piss on the floor?

Join the military.

Thread of the week. Thanks /jp/.

>>4581887
I'd consider taking a trap in her girl bits, but only if they were presented behind a cut out poster, because 3pig is Ddisgusting.

>>4581895
Active-duty roneryfag here. Feels boring man.

>>4581935

Do you honestly think that living in a movie theater, jail, homeless shelter, or with a random internet stranger is a better idea?

>>4582006
better than a good chance at getting blown to bits

OP here. Looks like I'm moving in with /jp/.

I suppose this will be better than Muvico, I already talked to his mom and it sounds pretty good.

>>4582024

There are a lot more jobs in the military than infantry. Hell, you could go in the air force and train to pilot a u.a.v. and never physically get anywhere near a battlefield.

I refuse to believe this is true. My mind cannot take it.

>>4582034
Let us know how things go. I still worry about our past homeless friends.

>>4582034
And then, /jp/ got laid.

THE END

I can't believe I just read this whole thread.

I wonder if having two hideous /jp/ Anons under the same roof will end in sex.
3d pig disgusting, right?
...Right?

I wish I could also get food and shelter by dressing up in frilly clothes and drinking tea ;_;

>>4582059
/jp/ is 3D BEAUTIFUL in a 3D PIG DISGUSTING world.

>>4582078
Ohoho.

>>4582078
What exactly is this supposed to show?

I doubt only one person uses this Kaguya image, I see it on every board.

>>4582078
Well, shit

>>4582078
That doesn't answer my hypothetical question at all, ZUN!bar.

Nevermind, it's working now.

>>4582078
17/18 images share the same filename. It is extremely unlikely that any other person possess an image with the same filename, since the first time that exact image was posted, it already had that filename, which would only be possible if someone saved it and edited it, or if it is from another board, and everyone else who posted it got it from the exact same place.

>>4582085
No, this is an edited version (not sure what kind of edit, but something that would have changed the image hash) of the more popular one, which only 2 people have ever posted, probably. It should be obvious that there's another one, because you don't see those shitting on the floor threads when searching for that image.

>>4582102
Actually, my extension uses the file name when it saves rather than 12387123872.jpg. It makes it easier for me to find images when I'm looking for them.

How many other people use this extension is beyond me.

>>4582117
Uh, yes I do.

My guess is that somebody tried to post the Kaguya image, got duplicate image error, edited it and then posted it again to get it through since that image has only started being used fairly recently.

/jp/ - CSI

>>4582123
Well, you'd only use that when saving multiple images, right? I doubt many people would do that in a thread like this. samefag theory is more likely.

>>4582138
No, it does it for every image that I save. It's a checkable option in my 4chan extension. I imagine I'm not the only person who uses it since I rarely mess with extension options myself.

Oh look, I even found out where the image came from
http://archive3.easymodo.net/cgi-board.pl/a/thread/20371404
Hover over the image to see the filename it was given

>>4582152
I didn't even know the extension had such a feature, and I can't find it after being told about it. It is possible that this is the case, but I still think samefagging is more likely.

Wait, hold on, I want to live with a /jp/er too. I want to be a /jp/er's pet.

>>4582175
Do you look good in frilly dresses? What's your favorite tea?

>>4582187
I never tried wearing one before. But I'm skinny and have long hair, so I don't think I'd look bad.

And I don't drink tea much, it's mostly just tap water for me.

op, get yourself janitor/medsister(dunno how they called in English) job. janitors often get a free room and you can find place with wi-fi.

Are you people serious?

>>4582198
Where do you live?

>>4582212
>medsister
Er, nurse?

>>4582213
No

This is why /jp/ Anons should set up a commune like I said before.

>>4582213
Yes. A lot of /jp/ friends have gone homeless before.

>>4582231
Actually, I don't think I'm ready for this. Never mind, sorry.

>>4582243
Not everyone sink to a hobo's level like you and Tatari.

>>4582246
It's okay, I don't blame you, I honestly don't like tea very much either, so I understand where you're coming from.

What happened to that guy who was posting right before his power got cut off? Did he ever post back from a public computer/power source?

You all need a hug.

Entire thread 9.5/10, would read again.

>>4582232
yea, you're right, comrade

>>4582175
I wouldn't mind leeching off a person from /jp/, either, really...

But I was already forced by my parents to go to a university.
Ah well, if I fail due to forgetting to do homework, never studying, and not doing extra assignments, such as going into town to watch a play, and, instead, spend all my time indoors on 4chan, I'll think of /jp/.

>>4582242
We discussed this slightly yesterday too. New conclusion is that we should all become priests and start working at the same church.

>>4582251
Living at Petsmart is still the best choice for homeless NEETs; Purina Puppy Chow saved my life.

>>4582297
and from this day on not only boys were raped.

>>4582297
Catholic Church of St. Catherine sounds like a good idea. St. Catherine is the patron saint of schoolchildren.

>>4582297
that is fucking brilliant

>>4582322
Addendum: Agnes of Rome may be a much better choice.

>>4582255

Not sure how I look in a dress, but, might be willing to try.

I might be able to give you a ride from florida to somewhere on the east coast. I have plenty of time on my hands.

I want to live with the rich anon (who lives in some mansion in some shithole country probably in africa and has two maids) ;_;

>>4582504
>in africa and has two maids
If he lives in Africa, his maids are probably black.
Why would you want that?

>>4582504

If you mean touhoufag( the char-oper) he's cuben, or somewhere in there.

>>4582530
Wasn't he pinoy?

That rich faggot Boof should stop posting pictures of his cars all day and open a shelter for /jp/sies like OP.

>>4582509
Depends.

>>4581234
yeah most of the time... the rest of the time it ends up horribly:)

This thread was great. Thanks /jp/ you have proved that you can still be entertaining despite the recent influx of garbage posters.

So many dreams, so many hopes, so many broken lives. ;_;

i wonder why OP isnt considering prostitution as a means to pay her rent

>>4582855
Maybe because she's not a whore like you?

>>4582870
she's ready to try to live in a movie theater... whoring is much better.
but obviously that's what she's opted to do
getting free home and more because she has a pussy

maybe no?
if you're willing to live such a hard life why dont you just start doing something for money?

If you run out of funds, its time to bite the bullet and get a job. It's better than grovelling on the ground at a movie theater where you honestly won't last very long. Getting a job would actually be easier than that. But also honestly, if I knew you, I'd let you stay with me in the apartment and we could play video games and stuff and you could be my friend. I'm already paying for it, so it wouldn't hurt to have somebody else there. Your company would be payment enough ;_;. You'd just have to shower regularly, well at least once a week if you're typical /jp/.

if you have no problem being in a public place then you should get a fucking job.

you're not a hikikomori. you're fucking lazy.

>>4582855
Because all women on /jp/ are pure virgins who would rather live in a movie theatre than whore themselves for money.

just get a job at the movie theater

>>4582870
>female
>not a whore
Good one.

>>4581215

Not a femanon, but I would be happy to have tea with you.

We really need to start up a site where NEETs can find people willing to shelter them in their area. We just need people to put up their location, whether they need shelter or can provide shelter, and whether they look good in a maid uniform, can cook or clean, is willing to provide sexual services or like video games.

If you plan on living off popcorn candy and soda for the rest of your days, go for it. If not, find yourself a nice library and find a way to scrounge for money.

>>4583140
>Your company would be payment enough ;_;
So ronery.

>>4580885

What stuck out to me most about how hopeless you are is that you said you would be spending the money you saved through dropped coins on another movie ticket, instead of food.

i.e. that you're more afraid of having nowhere to go than being able to eat.

I think you should spend your last money on a collar instead. Start walking around on all fours and maybe someone will adopt you.

I love evolution.

OP you could even spend your time traveling between various /jp/ folk living with many. You could call it the underground fail road.

>>4583251

>underground fail road

I lol'd.

Would you go out with me, OP?

>>4583203

Organizing enablers through a whole website. Nice.

To anyone jealous of the anon that offered this whore OP a place to live... you do realize that she's going to be leeching off this guy's family's money until there's nothing left, right?

Taking in someone who would rather live in a movie theater than go out and get a job?

Does anyone see how fucking stupid this is? No woman is worth that kind of dead weight. Fuck, you're better off with waifus than with some fat girl who would rather squat in a movie theater than work.

>>4583242
Or just buy a cardboard box and a marker, write "free pet for good owner" on the box, and sit down in it on a street with many people.

>>4580885
first come back with a REAL /jp/-topic.
GTFO.

I have room for a NEET /jp/sie, free food and no rape, but there's one catch: You have to play the role of my girlfriend when people come to visit. Also you have to pretend to be a doctor, lawyer, or astronautess.