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05/02/10(Sun)11:37 No.9037111611-1613
Kalmar War: British and Dutch foreign policy convince Sweden and
Denmark to stop playing and leave important matters to grown-ups. Nobody
knows why Danes count this as a victory.
1618-1648 30 Years' War:
Denmark joins and loses, Denmark changes sides, Denmark loses again,
becoming the first modern nation to lose the same war twice.
1655-1660
First Northern War: Even although they were counting with the aid of
two of the great powers at the time, Poland-Lithuania and Russia, Danes
are defeated and humiliated when a Swedish army crosses the Belts
between both countries - by foot.
1684-1689 Occupation of
Schleswig-Holstein-Gottorf: Danish soldiers march over a bunch of
useless German villages without finding any opposing forces. Happy not
having to fire a single bullet or surrender -which is the same thing for
Danes-, Danish adventurers claim victory over the evil farms, then go
back home.
1700-1721 Great Northern War: Russia ends Sweden's role as
a dominant power, so Denmark is happy to be Russia's bitch. From now
on, Denmark will be alternating between Russia's and France's bitch. |
