Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)17:07
No.6508146

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)17:07 No.6508146

File: 1351631259719.gif-(532 KB, 700x490, 1349398877428.gif)

What's the difference between Americans and the engines of the jets on which they travel abroad?

After they land, the engines of the jets quit whining.

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)17:10
No.6508188

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)17:10 No.6508188

Replies: >>6508301

Me and the wife are expecting our first child soon but haven't decided what to call him. We both want him to have a traditional British name but we can't seem to agree..

Slavec or Muhammed?

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)17:11
No.6508203

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)17:11 No.6508203

Replies: >>6508301 >>6509013

I hate and refuse to make jokes about minorities.

So no need to worry any of you white British people.

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)17:12
No.6508214

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)17:12 No.6508214

Replies: >>6508384 >>6508406

How do you circumcise a redneck?

Kick his sister in the chin.

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)17:13
No.6508226

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)17:13 No.6508226

Replies: >>6508301

BBC News: Tube crash in London city centre kills over 120 people...

1 British man died in the accident

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)17:13
No.6508232

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)17:13 No.6508232

What do you do when a polish guy throws a grenade at you?

Take the pin off and throw it back

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)17:14
No.6508249

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)17:14 No.6508249

British Man: You Americans are so fuckin sensitive about this 9/11 shit. Thats your problem, your too fuckin sensitive.
Me: Soccer sucks
British Man: IT'S CALLED FOOTBALL YOU CUNT!

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)17:15
No.6508256

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)17:15 No.6508256

A retard, a fatass, and a nigger enter a bar.

The bartender sighs to himself and says "Why didn't that america see that we're closed?"

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)17:15
No.6508257

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)17:15 No.6508257

Replies: >>6508301

How many British people does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None because British people don't exit, the British Isles is populated entirely by niggers called Muhammad

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)17:16
No.6508274

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)17:16 No.6508274

An African cheetah is to be temporarily re-homed in Britain after being discovered at Heathrow Airport...

He'll soon have a four bedroomed council house in Bradford and £500 a week benefits.

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)17:17
No.6508285

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)17:17 No.6508285

How many Brits does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw in the lightbulb and one to bend down and receive Barrack Obama's fat nigger cock in his anus

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)17:18
No.6508292

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)17:18 No.6508292

Some people want Land of Hope and Glory to be the British national anthem but I think that's ridiculous.

Surely it should be something relevant to our country.

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)17:18
No.6508301

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)17:18 No.6508301

Replies: >>6508348

File: 1351631930506.jpg-(6 KB, 219x93, crying.jpg)

>>6508257
>>6508226
>>6508203
>>6508188
These are more sad than funny ;__;

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)17:19
No.6508309

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)17:19 No.6508309

Replies: >>6509657 >>6510206

Whats black and eats biscuits?

Half of Britain

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)17:19
No.6508311

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)17:19 No.6508311

Here is one I heard from a British guy I know
What's the difference between a dead Irishman and a potato?
About 20 feet.

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)17:19
No.6508314

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)17:19 No.6508314

How do you stop a mexican from drowning?
Take your foot off the back of his head.

How do you get a nigger out of a tree?
Cut the rope.

What's the difference between a black man and a snow tire?
A snow tire doesn't sing when you put chains on it.

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)17:19
No.6508322

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)17:19 No.6508322

BBC News "24 hour drinking culture failed".

Fucking hell, we even screw up the one thing we're actually good at.

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)17:21
No.6508337

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)17:21 No.6508337

I've just got back from my 3 week holiday in India and after being there for a whole 3 weeks, I missed England a bit.

So I have vowed to be more English than before, and I already have a head start.

I'm brown.

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)17:21
No.6508341

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)17:21 No.6508341

Replies: >>6509720

How many British people does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw in the lightbulb and u are 1 fucking cheeky kunt mate i swear i am goin 2 wreck u i swear on my mums life and i no u are scared lil bitch gettin your mates to send me messages saying dont meet up coz u r sum big bastard with muscles lol fuckin sad mate really sad jus shows what a scared lil gay boy u are and whats all this crap ur mates sendin me about sum bodybuildin website that 1 of your faverite places to look at men u lil fuckin gay boy fone me if u got da balls cheeky prick see if u can step up lil queer

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)17:21
No.6508344

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)17:21 No.6508344

Why do jews have big noses?
Air is free.

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)17:22
No.6508348

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)17:22 No.6508348

>>6508301
It's not sad though, because there's not actually that many Muslims in the UK (outside of cities like London and Birmingham anyway) and most of them are okay people

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)17:22
No.6508349

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)17:22 No.6508349

Unlike most Britons, I care about the minorities. I help them if they are in trouble

Only yesterday, I saved a White boy from racial abuse in Bradford

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)17:23
No.6508362

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)17:23 No.6508362

Replies: >>6509657

How many Ethiopians can you fit in a phone booth?
All of them.

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)17:23
No.6508368

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)17:23 No.6508368

Replies: >>6508378

What's the most confusing day in Harlem?
Father's Day.

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)17:24
No.6508372

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)17:24 No.6508372

Replies: >>6509657

That's actually a good joke.

And since American jokes are so easy, I'll tell a few racist jokes from my own country:

<How do you starve a black guy?
>Hide his food stamps under his work boots

<What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
>Juan on Juan

<What's the difference between a black guy and a pizza?
>A pizza can feed a family of four

<What do you call a black guy driving a Ferrari?
>Grand theft auto

FIN
10/30/12(Tue)17:24
No.6508374

FIN 10/30/12(Tue)17:24 No.6508374

How many Finns does it take to change the a light bulb?
Two, one holds the light bulb in place while the other starts drinking till the room starts spinning.

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)17:24
No.6508375

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)17:24 No.6508375

How do you fit 100 Cubans in a shoe box?
Tell them its a raft.

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)17:24
No.6508377

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)17:24 No.6508377

Why were there so few Englishmen in the Wild West?

Because they never survived a shootout.

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)17:24
No.6508378

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)17:24 No.6508378

>>6508368
That one is actually funny.

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)17:25
No.6508384

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)17:25 No.6508384

>>6508214
hahahahahaha

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)17:25
No.6508388

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)17:25 No.6508388

Why do niggers call white people "honkies"?
That's the last sound they hear before the white people run them over.

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)17:25
No.6508391

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)17:25 No.6508391

How many miles does an American walk in a week.

>Americans
>Not scootering everywhere

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)17:27
No.6508406

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)17:27 No.6508406

File: 1351632420420.gif-(540 KB, 400x300, 1339511318274.gif)

>>6508214

That is some good shit.

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)17:27
No.6508409

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)17:27 No.6508409

Why did the Jews wander in the desert for 40 years?
Because one of them lost a quarter.

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)17:28
No.6508419

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)17:28 No.6508419

How does a black woman fight crime?
She has an abortion.

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)17:30
No.6508444

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)17:30 No.6508444

Paddy was planning to get married and asked his doctor how he could tell if his bride is a virgin.
The doctor said,'Well, you need three things from a Do-It-Yourself shop. A can of red paint, a can of blue paint... And a shovel.'
Paddy asked, 'And what do I do with these, doc?'
The doc replied, 'Before the wedding night, you paint one of your testicles red and the other one blue. If she says, "That's the strangest pair of balls I ever saw", you hit her with the shovel

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)17:31
No.6508448

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)17:31 No.6508448

why do jewish men get circumsized?
because jewish women like everything 20% off


what's a jewish dilemma?
50% off pork


where is the nigger in your family tree?
hanging outside.

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)17:36
No.6508494

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)17:36 No.6508494

Replies: >>6508527 >>6508529 >>6509159

I just realized how many sperglords we have on this board.

You guys are terribly unfunny.

I'd expect a few Brits to be funny...but they're the spergiest of all.

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)17:36
No.6508498

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)17:36 No.6508498

>Ireland
>USA
>Britain Britain Britain
>More USA
>Ireland
>More Britain

Anyone else want to contribute? The thread will get a bit dull if its all about niggers, jews, drunks, potatoes and pakis.

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)17:37
No.6508503

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)17:37 No.6508503

Replies: >>6508510

Why is Mexico so bad at the Olympic Games?

Because every mexican who can swim, jump and run is in America.

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)17:38
No.6508510

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)17:38 No.6508510

>>6508503
why do mexicans get tamales for christmas?


so they have something to unwrap

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)17:39
No.6508527

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)17:39 No.6508527

>>6508494
Lead by example; show us how its done

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)17:39
No.6508529

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)17:39 No.6508529

>>6508494
>A board of which 99% of the posts contain of age old stereotypes repeated over and over
>Being unfunny
Woop de fuckin doo.

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)17:41
No.6508540

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)17:41 No.6508540

In Italy we don't know what is humorism

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)17:53
No.6508682

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)17:53 No.6508682

Replies: >>6508702 >>6508745 >>6508766

File: 1351634004183.jpg-(24 KB, 567x291, by-default-2011-11-19-at-3.jpg)

It is a French who is looking for a job.
Knowing the highway between the North and the South of the country, he decided to see if by chance there would have a job for him.
We offered him to paint the white stripes along the highway.
He accepted.

Day 1: He painted 100 meters.
Day 2: He painted 50 meters.
Day 3: He painted 25 meters.
Day 4: He painted 10 meters.

The 5th day, the boss came and said:

-OK for the first day. 100 meters is not much, but it's OK. But the following days, why did you decrease the meters paint.

He answered:

-Boss, the more I move forward and the more the can of paint is far.


Sorry for my English.

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)17:54
No.6508702

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)17:54 No.6508702

Replies: >>6508719

>>6508682
Frenchball confirmed for fuckin cute.

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)17:56
No.6508719

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)17:56 No.6508719

>>6508702
What ?

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)17:56
No.6508725

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)17:56 No.6508725

Replies: >>6508762 >>6508766 >>6508779 >>6508847

An old lady, a beautiful woman, a Slovene and a Croat are riding together in a train compartment. The train enters a tunnel and in the darkness there is the sound of a loud slap. When the train exits the tunnel, the Croat looks very confused and has a red palm print on his face.

The old lady thinks: He must have been trying to kiss the woman, so she slapped him.
The beautiful woman thinks: He must have been trying to kiss me, but went for the old woman instead by mistake, so she slapped him.
The Croat thinks: That Slovene pervert must have tried to kiss the beautiful woman, but in the darkness she accidentally hit me.
The Slovene thinks: Fucking Croat bastard, i'm gonna hit him again in the next tunnel

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)17:58
No.6508745

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)17:58 No.6508745

File: 1351634295854.jpg-(37 KB, 460x381, leopard-holds-tail.jpg)

>>6508682
:3

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)17:59
No.6508762

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)17:59 No.6508762

>>6508725
Oh you.

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)17:59
No.6508766

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)17:59 No.6508766

>>6508725
lol'd

>>6508682
this was pretty good too

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)18:00
No.6508779

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)18:00 No.6508779

>>6508725
I've already heard this joke but with other nationalities.

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)18:04
No.6508828

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)18:04 No.6508828

There's a french, a Swiss and an argentinian in a plane.
The french takes the hand out of the window and when he takes it inside again, he's got a baguette in his hand. "So, we are in france" he says.
Then the Swiss takes the hand out of the window and and when he takes it inside again, he's got a Gold Ignot. "So, we are in Switzerland" he says.
Then the argentinian takes his hand outside the window, and when he takes it inside again, he hasn't got anything on his hand. "So, we are in Argentina" he says. Listening that,the french says "How can you know that?" and the argentinian replies "Because someone stole my watch."

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)18:06
No.6508847

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)18:06 No.6508847

>>6508725
An old lady, a beautiful woman, a Slovene and a Croat are riding together in a train compartment. The train enters a tunnel and in the darkness there is the sound of a loud slap. When the train exits the tunnel, the Slovene looks very confused and has a red palm print on his face.

The old lady thinks: He must have been trying to kiss the woman, so she slapped him.
The beautiful woman thinks: He must have been trying to kiss me, but went for the old woman instead by mistake, so she slapped him.
The Slovene thinks: That Croat pervert must have tried to kiss the beautiful woman, but in the darkness she accidentally hit me.
The Croat thinks: Fucking Slovene bastard, i'm gonna hit him again in the next tunnel

here's how jokes work on Balkans

Irishfag
10/30/12(Tue)18:09
No.6508882

Irishfag 10/30/12(Tue)18:09 No.6508882

That Brit telling jokes is awful

Why did God invent alcohol?
> To stop the Irish ruling the world

Irishfag
10/30/12(Tue)18:10
No.6508894

Irishfag 10/30/12(Tue)18:10 No.6508894

> Why did God give the Irish potatoes, and the Arabs oil?
He gave the Irish first choice!

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)18:11
No.6508901

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)18:11 No.6508901

What's the main reason of emigration from Slovenia?
Claustrophobia.

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)18:11
No.6508908

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)18:11 No.6508908

mean while in germany "çimlere basmayınız" (please dont push on the grass) signs are only turkish.

Irishfag
10/30/12(Tue)18:12
No.6508917

Irishfag 10/30/12(Tue)18:12 No.6508917

Why wasn't Jesus Irish?
> Because God couldn't find 3 wise men and a virgin in Ireland

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)18:12
No.6508920

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)18:12 No.6508920

Replies: >>6510016

File: 1351635162815.jpg-(22 KB, 320x239, slovenskaobitelj.jpg)

father - son - mother - Bosnian neighbor Haso

Irishfag
10/30/12(Tue)18:14
No.6508931

Irishfag 10/30/12(Tue)18:14 No.6508931

> What is Irish diplomacy?
It’s the ability to tell a man to go to hell in such a way that he will look forward to making the trip.

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)18:16
No.6508961

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)18:16 No.6508961

Replies: >>6508975 >>6508985 >>6508987 >>6508989 >>6508994 >>6509000 >>6509103 >>6509118 >>6509685

I don't know any jokes about Germans. I haven't ever heard anybody making jokes about Germany/Germans and I'm not even sure if these exist.

Do other nations make jokes about Germany?

Oaxaqueño Superior !!T2UdrWkLSWB
10/30/12(Tue)18:17
No.6508970

Oaxaqueño Superior !!T2UdrWkLSWB 10/30/12(Tue)18:17 No.6508970

>Ireland
>Too much ass

Irishfag
10/30/12(Tue)18:17
No.6508975

Irishfag 10/30/12(Tue)18:17 No.6508975

>>6508961
Careful now, your humour is showing

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)18:18
No.6508985

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)18:18 No.6508985

>>6508961
None that really apply to current Germany.

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)18:18
No.6508987

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)18:18 No.6508987

>>6508961
Only when accompanied by a Russian and Bellman.

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)18:18
No.6508989

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)18:18 No.6508989

Replies: >>6508996

>>6508961

Why did Hitler kill himself?
He saw the gas bill

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)18:18
No.6508992

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)18:18 No.6508992

Copy/pasted bits from a list that's been around for ages. Everything's true, especially the last one:

>You Know You've Been In Finland Too Long, When...

>You meticulously manage your plastic bag collection.
>Silence is fun.
>You associate pea soup with Thursday.
>Your notion of street life is reduced to hanging out in front of the railway station on Friday nights.
>Hugging is reserved for sexual foreplay.
>You accept that 80°C in a sauna is chilly, but 20°C outside is freaking hot.
>When a stranger smiles at you, you assume he is either a) drunk, b) insane, c) American, or d) all of the above.

Also,
-How can you tell the difference between a Finnish introvert and a Finnish extrovert?
-When he's talking to you, a Finnish introvert looks at his feet; a Finnish extrovert looks at yours.

And:
Mika and Pekka hadn't seen each other for ages, so they decided to get together for "one" beer. At the end of the first pint Pekka says "How have you been?" Mika just grunts in reply.
At the end of the second pint Pekka asks "So how's your family?" Again, Mika just grunts in reply.
After three pints Pekka asks "How's work going?"
Mika turns in fury and yells "Perkele! Did we come here to talk or drink?!"

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)18:19
No.6508994

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)18:19 No.6508994

Replies: >>6509006

>>6508961

My grandfather died at Auschwitz.

He fell off a guard tower.

Irishfag
10/30/12(Tue)18:19
No.6508996

Irishfag 10/30/12(Tue)18:19 No.6508996

>>6508989
Sssssh he's trying to concentrate

Oaxaqueño Superior !!T2UdrWkLSWB
10/30/12(Tue)18:19
No.6509000

Oaxaqueño Superior !!T2UdrWkLSWB 10/30/12(Tue)18:19 No.6509000

Replies: >>6509233

>>6508961

This is in spanish

¿Cómo se dice tornado en alemán?
Nubes crugen

I don't know how towrite it in english

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)18:20
No.6509005

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)18:20 No.6509005

An Englishman walks into a pub in Glasgow and asks for a gin and tonic.

The bartender says "Sorry pal, we don't serve cocktails".

Irishfag
10/30/12(Tue)18:20
No.6509006

Irishfag 10/30/12(Tue)18:20 No.6509006

>>6508994
My granddad died at Auschwitz.

He died when a guard fell from a tower on of him

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)18:21
No.6509013

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)18:21 No.6509013

>>6508203
in turkey we have tones of jokes about laz minority. but they are not accepted politically incorrect or racist even laz people too.
same point of that jokes laz persons always thinking diffrent or weird way and they are always idiotic.
also we have jokes about kurds but all of them translate jokes from usa nigger jokes.

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)18:21
No.6509018

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)18:21 No.6509018

Replies: >>6509052 >>6509097 >>6509267

>>6508114 (OP)
I don`t know any jokes about Latvia
>Feels bad man

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)18:21
No.6509021

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)18:21 No.6509021

Replies: >>6509038

An old Jewish man wins the lottery. He wins millions of dollars and with his money, he donates 75% to various charities. With the rest of his money, he commissions a life-size replica of Hitler made entirely of gold to be made and placed on his front yard.

When his neighbors notice the statue, they go up to the man and ask why he would build a statue of Hitler considering everything he did to the Jews.

The old man points to his arm and replies, "If it weren't for these numbers I never would have won!"

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)18:22
No.6509037

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)18:22 No.6509037

Replies: >>6509897

Don't know any jokes about austria.

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)18:22
No.6509038

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)18:22 No.6509038

File: 1351635774006.jpg-(28 KB, 640x463, 1306994916470.jpg)

>>6509021

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)18:24
No.6509052

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)18:24 No.6509052

>>6509018
Latvian jokes incoming.

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)18:29
No.6509097

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)18:29 No.6509097

Replies: >>6509145

>>6509018

Spanishfag, but es dzivoju LV. Lemme tell you one:

One Russian man comes to Latvia and he is stopped at the border crossing point by the Latvian border guards. And they ask:

- Name? Vitaly
- Age? 45
- Occupation? No occupation, just tourism.

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)18:29
No.6509103

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)18:29 No.6509103

Replies: >>6509134

>>6508961

Why German bathtubes have two holes for water drainage?
One for hot water, one for cold.

WW2, Poles and Germans in trenches.
One Poles to another:
- what is a popular name in germany? Let's shout it and maybe some dumbass fall for it.
- dunno, Hans?
- ok, Hans! Hans! Are you there?
- Ja? - German sticked his head out. JEB. He got a bullet.
- Hans! Hans!
- Another German sticked his head out. JEB, he also got a bullet.
- Hans! Hans!
- JEB. Another German down.
Germans decided to pay Poles with the same "joke".
- What is Popular Polish name?
- Dunno, Zdzichu?
- ok, Zdzichu! Zdzichu!
Silence.
- Zdzichu! Zdzichu!
- Zdzichu is on holidays, that's you, Hans?
- Ja!
- JEB.

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)18:31
No.6509118

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)18:31 No.6509118

>>6508961
Germans in charge of humour

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)18:32
No.6509134

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)18:32 No.6509134

>>6509103
Germans being to Poland what Poland is to rest of the world.

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)18:33
No.6509144

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)18:33 No.6509144

What was the last thing that went through the minds of the youth that were killed by Breivik on Utøya?

Bullets.

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)18:33
No.6509145

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)18:33 No.6509145

>>6509097
>es dzivoju LV
>Spanishfag
>That nice latvian
Ļoti labi, draugs.

And i leld, thanks.

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)18:34
No.6509150

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)18:34 No.6509150

Whats the most positive thing about Bradford?

HIV

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)18:35
No.6509159

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)18:35 No.6509159

Replies: >>6509181 >>6509239

File: 1351636509452.jpg-(129 KB, 965x713, 1351480447415.jpg)

>>6508494
>Brits
>Funny

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)18:38
No.6509181

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)18:38 No.6509181

Replies: >>6509255

>>6509159
Our humour is fucking weird, people never get it

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)18:41
No.6509230

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)18:41 No.6509230

Replies: >>6509264

How many Irishmen does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two.

One to hold the lightbulb in and one to drink until the room starts spinnning.

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)18:42
No.6509233

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)18:42 No.6509233

Replies: >>6509249

>>6509000
>"How do they say 'tornado' in German?"
>"Creaky Clouds"

Dafuq? I don't think I translated that right...

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)18:42
No.6509239

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)18:42 No.6509239

Replies: >>6509261

>>6509159
>Americans
>Sarcasm
>Wit
>Subtlety

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)18:42
No.6509240

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)18:42 No.6509240

Why the beginnings of disneyland Paris were so touhgs ? Because each night during the fireworks frenchs tried to surrender.


How do you call a cultived man in France ? A tourist.

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)18:43
No.6509248

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)18:43 No.6509248

Devil caught a Pole, Russian and German.
He closed them in small dome cells made of glass, gave them two steel balls and told them that he will check on them in one day time and will free them if they suprise him.
First he checked on Russian.
German tried to juggle, but it wasn't enough, so devil killed him.
Later he checked on German. He placed perfectly one ball on top of another, but it also wasn't enough, so devil killed him.
He freed Pole.

Why - Pole broke one ball, and lost another.

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)18:43
No.6509249

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)18:43 No.6509249

>>6509233
What was 'creaky clouds' in German?

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)18:44
No.6509255

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)18:44 No.6509255

>>6509181
>we so unique humor
Every country says that. Meanwhile the UK is one of the biggest universal exporter of comedic media.

One thing though that while you might have funny comedians it doesn't really mean that the average brit is funny. I've actually met several who were dreadfully boring but acted like their every comment was hilarious just because of his accent.

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)18:44
No.6509256

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)18:44 No.6509256

How do you get a one-armed newfie out of a tree?

Wave,

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)18:44
No.6509258

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)18:44 No.6509258

Why do Scots wear kilts?

Because sheep can hear a zip from a mile away.

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)18:45
No.6509261

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)18:45 No.6509261

Replies: >>6509274

File: 1351637105207.jpg-(6 KB, 160x149, FoxNews.jpg)

>>6509239
>Australian who doesn't know about our sarcasm channel

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)18:45
No.6509264

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)18:45 No.6509264

>>6509230
How many Irish politician's does it take to screw in a lightbulb.

Two, one to screw in the bulb, the other to tell the taxpayer that the bulbs cost €50,000 a piece

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)18:45
No.6509267

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)18:45 No.6509267

File: 1351637130712.jpg-(41 KB, 581x375, latvia car.jpg)

>>6509018
Latvian: Is so cold.
All: How cold is?
Latvian: Very. Also dark.

Knock knock
Who’s there?
Latvian.
Latvian who?
Please open door. Is cold.


one potato, one potao, one potato, no more potato..
soldier eat potato and rape daughter..is end.

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)18:47
No.6509274

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)18:47 No.6509274

Replies: >>6509308

>>6509261
You got me there.

Now defend sitcoms, namely Big Bang Theory, 2 and a Half Men, any other laugh track abomination.

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)18:48
No.6509295

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)18:48 No.6509295

How do you get an Irishman into the back of a car? Throw a bottle of whiskey and a potato in.

How do you get him back out? Have his British landlord be the driver.

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)18:49
No.6509302

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)18:49 No.6509302

A French couple returned to the same ski station than the previous year.
On their arrival, they go to the ski school
-Hello, we'd like to have the same ski instructor as the last year.
-Sure, wha'ts his name ?
-I...I don't remember, but he had blue pants and a red jacket.
-Yeah we've all got the same suit, any phisicals details ?
-Hmm yeah he had... two anus...
-Two anus ?
- Yes, last year during our courses whenever other monitors crossed us, they asked to him:
"So how's you're doing with your two assholes ?"

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)18:50
No.6509308

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)18:50 No.6509308

>>6509274
Touché

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)18:52
No.6509325

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)18:52 No.6509325

>>6508114 (OP)
Fun fact, the potato shortage in the 19th century led to fewer murders in Sweden.
True shit.

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)18:59
No.6509407

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)18:59 No.6509407

Replies: >>6509430

what is a Swedish ThreeSom - a swedish man banged by 2 somalis

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)19:00
No.6509414

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)19:00 No.6509414

Replies: >>6509501

Mick was sitting with his friend Paddy in Paddy's living room as Paddy himself was nursing a hangover. Paddy turns to Mickey and says "Will ye' go upstairs and fetch me slippers, feet are fuckin' freezing."

So Mickey proceeds upstairs to fetch his slippers for him when he walks in on Paddy's two beautiful virgin daughters. Thinking quick, he says "Your father sent me up to deflower both of you."

The daughters, not believing him, said "No he did not!". Mickey sticks his head back out the door and and shouts down "Both of them, Paddy?"

The daughters then hear their father shout back up "Of course, there's no use in fuckin' one of them, is there?"

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)19:01
No.6509430

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)19:01 No.6509430

File: 1351638089475.jpg-(45 KB, 600x431, 1343997442786.jpg)

>>6509407

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)19:04
No.6509469

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)19:04 No.6509469

Replies: >>6509503

- What is Swedish in Malmo?

- A minority language.

aaahahahaha aaa haha haha I make da funny :DDD

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)19:07
No.6509501

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)19:07 No.6509501

>>6509414
10/10 Would read again

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)19:07
No.6509503

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)19:07 No.6509503

Replies: >>6509514

File: 1351638465929.jpg-(31 KB, 380x273, somalia.jpg)

>>6509469
what is swedish?

<---

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)19:09
No.6509514

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)19:09 No.6509514

>>6509503
dat nigga on the bottom fabolous as fuck

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)19:19
No.6509614

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)19:19 No.6509614

Replies: >>6509681 >>6509708

I'm not German or French, but I thought this was funny...

Angela Merkel is heading to France to discuss the current economic crisis in Europe. When she arrives at the French boarder, the guard asks her a few questions.

"Business or pleasure?" the guard asks.

"Business", she replies.

The guard then asks, "Occupation?"

She replies, "Not this time. Just visiting."

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)19:21
No.6509629

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)19:21 No.6509629

How many Fennoswedes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One of them to screw in the lightbulb and the rest of them to read about it in a keenly written article in the newspapers.

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)19:23
No.6509657

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)19:23 No.6509657

File: 1351639430878.jpg-(134 KB, 500x333, 1350412836379.jpg)

>>6508372
>>6508362
>>6508309

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)19:26
No.6509681

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)19:26 No.6509681

>>6509614
be awesome if that really happened, imagine the media frenzy

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)19:26
No.6509685

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)19:26 No.6509685

Replies: >>6509733 >>6509818

>>6508961
People say Hitler was far-right, but he was actually a leftie. Think about it: The occupy movement (occupy wall street) we all know today started with Hitler: First it was #Occupy Poland, then #Occupy France.

I made this up the other day while walking out of college, not sure if its good or not.

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)19:28
No.6509708

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)19:28 No.6509708

>>6509614
I want this too happen.

British-Ghanaian
10/30/12(Tue)19:29
No.6509720

British-Ghanaian 10/30/12(Tue)19:29 No.6509720

File: 1351639790945.gif-(517 KB, 115x86, 1328554619176.gif)

>>6508341

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)19:31
No.6509733

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)19:31 No.6509733

>>6509685
I like. Maybe a little "Jews = money" and whatever he said about the aristocracy being parasites.

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)19:38
No.6509803

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)19:38 No.6509803

I was trying to find jokes about hungarians (original ones, not "insert ethnicity here" ones) and found this one on wikipedia:

The Cluj local administration discusses the setting up of a statue of Avram Iancu. A councilor says "The statue should have a hand pointing to Hungary, so the Hungarians would know we're watching them". Another one suggests that "in one hand, Iancu should hold a noose, so they would know what to expect should they try to steal Transylvania". Another councilor suggests that "there should be a Hungarian in the noose". Then, Gheorghe Funar (the well-known nationalist former Mayor of Cluj) says "I say we replace the Hungarian every day!"

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Romanian_humour

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)19:41
No.6509818

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)19:41 No.6509818

Replies: >>6509862

>>6509685
Hitler was actually a nice guy, give him his dues.

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)19:42
No.6509837

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)19:42 No.6509837

An Englishman, A Scotsman and an Irishman were without tickets for the summer Olympics and were hoping to make it to the opening ceremony. However, security was tight, and the lads were refused entry. While thinking of ways to sneak into the venue, they came across a construction site outside the venue.

The Englishman, having his idea siezed a length of scaffolding and presented himself at the gate. "Johnson, pole vaulting!" and was admitted into the stadium.

The Scotsman, using his own creative mind grabbed a hammer discarded on the site, and presented himself at the gate. "McTavish, the hammer!" and was admitted inside.

Following suit, the Irishman grabbed a sheet of chicken wire and presented himself at the gate. "O'Flaherty, fencing!"

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)19:45
No.6509862

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)19:45 No.6509862

File: 1351640737836.jpg-(102 KB, 640x799, quote-of-the-day-adolf-hi(...).jpg)

>>6509818
>that horrible filename

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)19:45
No.6509863

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)19:45 No.6509863

File: 1351640748675.jpg-(15 KB, 325x400, al+jolson+black+face.jpg)

A plane crashes into the ocean and four survivors make it into a life raft;
a Frenchman, a German, a White American and a Black American.

As they're drifting along, the Frenchman produces a bottle of wine, takes one swig
and throws it into the ocean, saying;

"S'il vous plait! In France we have so much wine we don't know what to do with it"

Whereupon the German pulls out a bottle of beer, takes a swig and tosses it into
the ocean, pronouncing;

"Ich bin ein berliner! In Germany we have so much beer we don't know what to do with it".

The White American guy looks at the Black American guy…

And throws him off the raft.

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)19:49
No.6509897

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)19:49 No.6509897

>>6509037
what's the difference between an austrian and a mountain goat? mountaingoats don't eat their own shit.

also, don't go into an austrian's incest basement without bringing flowers.

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)19:50
No.6509903

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)19:50 No.6509903

Replies: >>6509953

Time for Latvia jokes:

There two brother. One have potato. Other take vodka bottle and hit brother. He die. Joke is end.

A man have two potato. One says to other "What greatest in life?" Premise ridiculous. What man have two potato?

A man give pay one potato every week. He work hard for his family. Soviet army collect potato for glorious power of great war machine. End.

Why did chicken cross road? Answering: I have not seen chicken since I was very young, on my parent's farm. This is before the Cossacks slaughtered them. I can still hear screams of sister as soldiers rape her. But back to question, where did you see chicken? I am very hungry.

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)19:52
No.6509922

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)19:52 No.6509922

Replies: >>6509982 >>6510115

File: 1351641141328.jpg-(37 KB, 400x568, Judy Jetson.jpg)

Q: What do you call 100 Jews on the bottom of the ocean?
A: A good start.

Q: What did Fred Flintstone call Black people?
A: niggers

Ever notice there are no Black people on "The Jetsons"?
The future is looking brighter every day.

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)19:54
No.6509939

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)19:54 No.6509939

How long can a black woman keep in her shit?
9 months

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)19:56
No.6509953

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)19:56 No.6509953

Replies: >>6509997 >>6510048

>>6509903

Three Latvian are brag about sons. "My son is soldier. He have rape as many women as want" say first Latvian. "Zo?" second say. "My son is farmer. HE have all potato he want!" Third Latvian wait long time, then say, "My son is die at birth. For him, struggle is over." Wow! You are win us," say others. But all are feel sad.

Man is hungry. He steal bread to feed family. Get home. Find all family have sent Siberia! "More bread for me" man think. But bread have worm.

Latvian walk into bar with mule. Bartender say "Why so long face?" Latvian say "I was thinking of my daughter. She has been lie with soldier for potato feed baby"

LAtvian man hear knock at door. "Who is it" ask man. "Is Potato Man. Am delivering free potatoes door-to-door" say voice. Man rejoice. "Oh! Such a blessing! this must be wonderful dream!" Latvian open door, man say "Just kidding, is Secret Police"

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)19:59
No.6509982

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)19:59 No.6509982

Replies: >>6510163

>>6509922
I heard hat opne joke kind of like this
Q:what do you call a negro on the bottom of the ocean?
A: pollution
Q:what do you call 1000000 negroes on the bottom of the ocean?
A: solution

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)20:00
No.6509993

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)20:00 No.6509993

-a Swedish man sees a brother he hasn't met in 2 years on a train station, what does he do?

-wave

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)20:00
No.6509997

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)20:00 No.6509997

Replies: >>6510067

>>6509953

Latvian girl is say, "I want go America one day" father say. "I send you America." Daughter is thank Father. Make tears of happy. Father use for salty potato. Father think moment, say, "Daughter, I no sned you America." Potato is more salt.

One day Latvian boy say to father "Father, I have found good fortune for I have learn myself to read!" Father say to son "How am I having such wonderful news? You will get job and make us many money to buy potato." Then boy die in the night from cholera. All are sad.

Potato walk into bat. All in bar have suprise at potato. One man jump potato and eat. Realise is actually dog. All realise was illusion from hunger. Is sad time for all.

Winter come early in Latvia. Village elder say, "God help us in darkest hour."

God no come.

He never come.

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)20:00
No.6510001

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)20:00 No.6510001

Replies: >>6510195

Specialists want to evaluate which bureau of investigation is better, the American, the British or the Brazilian, so they they prepare a test:

they hide a white rabbit in the forest and calculate how long does it take for each country's detectives find out where the rabbit is.

The first to try are the British. Some Sherlock Holmes-style techniques later, and they find the rabbit in 30 minutes.

Then the American. Using the most advanced technology, they manage to find the rabbit in 15 minutes.

Last, the Brazilian. After 5 minutes, they come back with pig, totally beaten up, crying desperately "I'm the rabbit, I'm the rabbit".

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)20:01
No.6510016

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)20:01 No.6510016

>>6508920
I don't get it.
Why does it matter that the Bosnigger slept with that women?
Bosniggers are fucking cunts.

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)20:05
No.6510048

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)20:05 No.6510048

>>6509953
lol'd my face off.

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)20:07
No.6510067

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)20:07 No.6510067

Replies: >>6510101 >>6510131 >>6510136

>>6509997

Two Latvian look at clouds. One see potato. Other see impossible dream. Is same cloud.

Latvian man is rape a daughter. Secret police come in house and daughter say "My Dad is dead". Secrret police take man instead and shoot. Daughter say "Then who was potato?" All are sad. Such is life in Latvia.

Latvian father ask family where to summer vacation. Put to family vote. Daughter say "What is vote?" We are not free.

Why is 6 afraid 7?
Because 7 have many friend in Politburo.

2 Latvian man walk into bar. "You like hear joke?" one say? Other man nod. "My children well feed". Both very much laughter. Then stop laugh.

Latvia women are ruin sexy time often. They say things like "Who are you?" and "What are you doing?" and "Help".

Is dead dog in road. Is dead Latvian in road. What difference? Dog have fur keep warm. Also freedom. And dog try eat poop for pleasure not just survive. So many thing!

Latvian psychiatrist tell me to drown my troubles. I go home and ask my wife go swimming. Trouble over. More potato for me.

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)20:10
No.6510101

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)20:10 No.6510101

File: 1351642230489.jpg-(67 KB, 206x190, getaloadof.jpg)

>>6510067
>Both very much laughter. Then stop laugh.

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)20:12
No.6510115

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)20:12 No.6510115

File: 1351642320448.gif-(2.28 MB, 353x234, 1333830415342.gif)

>>6509922
total fucking FAIL!
>ITT: We tell offensive, politically incorrect jokes about our own country.

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)20:13
No.6510131

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)20:13 No.6510131

File: 1351642422063.jpg-(45 KB, 575x375, latvia beach 3.jpg)

>>6510067
Day of relax on potatoefield Latvia.

Hard work on day of relax.

Such is life in Latvia.

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)20:14
No.6510136

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)20:14 No.6510136

Replies: >>6510148 >>6510209

>>6510067

Lativan man sell daugher and mule for lottery ticket. Next day, man wins lottery. "Have joy!" says man, "Many potato for all family!"
MAn given 1,000,000 Lats. Money useless, worth less than potato. Use for fire.

What man stands up, puts hands over ears and stomps forward as walk? Latvian mine detector.

Sons says to father "Mother no make dinner." Father tells son "Bring me gun." Father beats Latvian wife death with gun, no money bullets. Latvian need make money.

Latvian is rub lamp find genie. Genie say, "What is three wishes?" Latvian say, "I wish potato!" Then, POOF! Potato! Latvian is so happy! "Oh! Is potato! Is potato!" say Latvian. Genie ask, "What is next wish?" Latvian is say "I wish you go away so can enjoy potato!" POOF! Too bad. Also, was only lamp.

A fishmonger says to a farmer "Are there any more potato left?" Farmer says "Yes, one. But it has gone bad." The fishmonger says "I am very hungry. I have not eaten for three days. I shall eat, even if make me of ill." And farmer say "I did not speak truth. Reality, is no food left. You shall go hungry another day yet, friend." And both were sad.

What is time in Latvia when soldiers rape daughter and all friends is sent to Gulag? All the time.

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)20:15
No.6510148

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)20:15 No.6510148

>>6510136
Were you born in Latvia?

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)20:17
No.6510163

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)20:17 No.6510163

>>6509982
>Q:what do you call 1000000 negroes on the bottom of the ocean?
>A: solution

>Not New Orleans

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)20:19
No.6510195

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)20:19 No.6510195

>>6510001
>Dat pede pra sair feels

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)20:21
No.6510206

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)20:21 No.6510206

>>6508309
But, Black people only make up 2% of the population.

What a terrible joke!

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)20:21
No.6510209

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)20:21 No.6510209

Replies: >>6510288

>>6510136

Latvian man go to doctor. "Doctor Doctor, I have tumor growth brain". But Doctor dead, health infrastructure poor no potato money. Also, man's tumor inoperable.

MAn is lose job.Go home tell sad news family. Man is open door and family is gone. On table is one potato. Man is think to self "This is happiest day!" But is trap. Soldier kill man. Whole village is burn. Soldier take potato.

Latvian boy and girl are walk in forest. Girl ask boy, "Would you give me potato?" Boy is say NO. Girl cry and is run but capture by secret police bear trap. Boy go to dead girl. He is say, "I only say I no give you potato because there are no potato." Boy is happy for girl, for her struggle is over. Then boy remember there are no potato. He is sad again. All are sad. Be of liking this if cry everytime.

Man car break down near house of farmer. Take shelter in barn. Find farmer daughter in barn. Oh! Hot Stuff! But too late: is already rape and kill by soldier.

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)20:25
No.6510255

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)20:25 No.6510255

What does an abo woman use as a vibrator?
A bottle full of blowflies.

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)20:28
No.6510288

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)20:28 No.6510288

File: 1351643308624.jpg-(5 KB, 240x240, 498-hm.jpg)

>>6510209
I am becoming strange frustrate, latvian never get potato. All is sad.

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)20:29
No.6510296

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)20:29 No.6510296

What's s vegetarian dingo eat?
Cabbage patch kids.

Anonymous
10/30/12(Tue)20:30
No.6510311

Anonymous 10/30/12(Tue)20:30 No.6510311

An Australian ventriloquist visiting New Zealand, walks into a small village and sees a local sitting on his porch patting his dog. He figures he'll have a little fun.
Ventriloquist: "G'day Mate! Good looking dog, mind if I speak to him?"
Villager: "The dog doesn't talk, you stupid Aussie."
Ventriloquist: "Hello dog, how's it going mate?"
Dog: "Doin' all right"
Villager: (look of extreme shock)
Ventriloquist: "Is this villager your owner?" (pointing at the villager)
Dog: "Yep"
Ventriloquist: "How does he treat you?"
Dog: "Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food and takes me to the lake once a week to play."
Villager: (look of utter disbelief)
Ventriloquist: "Mind if I talk to your horse?"
Villager: "Uh, the horse doesn't talk either....I think."
Ventriloquist: "Hey horse, how's it going?"
Horse: "Cool"
Villager: (absolutely dumbfounded)
Ventriloquist: "Is this your owner?" (pointing at the villager)
Horse: "Yep"
Ventriloquist: "How does he treat you?"
Horse: "Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, brushes me down often and keeps me in the barn to protect me from the elements."
Villager: (total look of amazement)
Ventriloquist: "Mind if I talk to your sheep?"
Villager: "The sheep's a liar"