I do. Self-employed. I don't charge girls.

>>34582575 (OP)
ONE TIME DIS NIGGA HAD A LOT OF PORN ON HIS LABTOB!~

>>34582575 (OP)

Yes lots.

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> Customer calmed I put a virus on his computer after switching out his motherboard
>MFW

>>34582575 (OP)
Network support
Customer had wired router on ceiling with only modem plugged in
>he called about getting his wireless password

>President of company I work for needs help with networking problem
>"No audio... FIX IT"
>Unplug his headphones and can't believe that fucker called me out of my office for that shit

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Not exactly a computer technician, but...
>Be working at Best Buy (I'm 19, it's the best I can do right now)
>In smartphone section, covering a shift for a friend
>Retarded looking kid walks up to me
>Give him the typical "Hi, can I help you find anything? New phone, accessories like cases and screen protectors maybe?"
>Kid asks "Is the GS4 the one with the 16 megapixel processor, quad core RAM, and 2 gigabyte camera"
>mfw
Happened about a week ago... I think I'm just gonna stick to the computer section in the back from now on...

>>34583059
Poor kid probably just messed up what he wanted to say because he had social anxiety.
You mean fuck.

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>build a PC for a customer a year ago
>7 months later comes in saying computer is messed up since day one
> Customer says the computer is a POS because he can't use spell check and google earth
> We fix his issues
>Comes in today saying he is going to sue us because his old printer won't work.
>Customer took it to another PC shop in a town over to have it reloaded because he says we are jackasses
> He comes in looking for the product key.
> Tell him I need the computer to show him the OS key
>He said he would never bring the computer back to use because we are jackasses.
> Tell him I can't do anything without
> Old man customer goes ape shit and leaves
>MFW

>>34583254
Trust me, kid was a full blown potato. Typical autistic like a good majority of /g/

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>>34582591
>I don't charge girls
How has that worked out for you?

>>34582575 (OP)
I want to work as a computer technician, how should I start?

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>>34582591
>I don't charge girls.

>>34583429
5 years experience and a bachelor's degree in business.

>>34583473
No really, I'm the kind of faggot who knows the basics of computer maintenance except the hardware side of it, where should I start?

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>Be me
>Be freshmen year, Dad is working I.T.
>New teacher phoned in at the last minute by the district
>Teacher wants desktops for her room
>Up mine and my dad's asses for machines
>Dad finally gets some ancient vectras from a local business
>No harddrives have to order some because its 2006 and the district dosent have andy pata drives
>Explain this to teacher
>"Cant you just download new harddrives?"
>MFW

>>34583059
Should have told him "No, it's the one with the 512 TB RAM, 10 dpi octuple core processor, and 64 baud camera.

>clicked print without printer
>system crashed
>reboot
>points to CPU clock number on startup screen and says it went lower forever

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>>34583518
>Be me
REDDITSCUM DETECTED

Someone actually called me to install a FUCKING PRINTER CARTRIDGE FOR THEM. It was a standard HP printer you can easily buy from the store.

>>34583550

Its summer all the time

>>34583563
That seems like getting paid to sharpen a pencil.

Can't be a bad thing.

Used to work part-time in one of those brick-and-mortar shops.

>customer comes in and starts yelling at the cashier because the system we assembled for him a few days back "won't work"
>they plug it in, turns out it won't start
>while the cashier calls for the assistants (us) to come over and help, the customer keeps fiddling with his system with a screwdriver
>drops the screwdriver INTO the PSU, shorts out the entire floor of the building

Turns out the voltage switch on his PSU was set to 115V when we use 230V.

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>Customer comes in demanding a refund because he claims he put someone else data on his computer
>Look through it and see it is his data and tell him no
>customer demands how we explain all the porn
>See tranny porn pics in folder
> ask him if his children use his computer
>He said he has a 19 year old son and that his son claimed it wasn't his.
>Look at date of pics added
>5/16/2013
> Laptop left our shop 5/12/2013
>MFW

>Look at no sound issue for boss
>port on motherboard is fucked
>Plug speakers into FPIO
>Calls me back two days later saying sound went out again
>Speaker volume is all the way down, he was trying to turn it up in youjoob only
I fucking left my house for this shit.

>>34583586
It's more of a "You really called me to do this for you?"

>>34582628
Did you?

>>34583520
I should have, but I couldn't help but feel sorry for the guy.
>Lies to him, saying I don't know
>Directs him to other guy working that shift
>Other guy threw his slushie at my car the next day for making him put up with that shit.

Probably wasn't worth it...

> Sitting at desk pretending to work
> Girl from call center walks up and says her RDP is broken
> Go to computer, click RDP shortcut. Totally works.
> Midas touch
> YOU'RE A GENIUS!

>>34583666
did he get rekt?

>>34583337
but not you, right?

>>34583687
the motherboard virus...... added it in the shopping cart when ordering off newegg. It was an extra $4 but it was worth it

>>34583736
Obsessive compulsive isn't the same as autistic, my friend.

>>34583729
> Sitting at desk pretending to work
> Girl from call center walks up and says her printer isn't working
> Go to printer, push on button. Prints whole queue.
> Midas touch
> YOU'RE A GENIUS!

>>34583736


>>34583585

>>34583729
She wants to fuck.

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>>34583758
>he really believes this

>>34583770
> Sitting at desk pretending to work
> Girl from call center walks up and says her Adobe reader is broken
> Go to computer, click PDF file. Totally works.
> Midas touch
> YOU'RE A GENIUS!

>>34583797
> Sitting at desk pretending to work
> Girl from call center walks up and says her headset isn't working
> Grab headset and push mute toggle button. Totally works.
> Midas touch
> YOU'RE A GENIUS!

>>34583729
>>34583770
>>34583797
>>34583822
> Come home from college for summer break
> Mom asks me to fix the computer
> Says it won't turn on
> Push the power button
> It turns on
> Midas touch
> YOU'RE A GENIUS!

>>34583563
did you let him know it would probably be cheaper to just by a new printer than to buy an ink cartridge?

>>34583836
>>34583822
>>34583797
>>34583770
>>34583729

lets not make this a thing

>>34583822
> Sitting at desk pretending to work
> Girl from call center walks up and says her internets are broken.
> Go to computer, open Firefox. Totally works.
> Midas touch
> YOU'RE A GENIUS!

>>34583517
hit up a university and see if you can get on as a faculty/staff help desk employee. That's what i did. I make 35k a year telling people that they are fucking idiots in a way that makes them think I am praising them. I am not implying that 35k/year is good money, though.

>>34583869
> Sitting at desk pretending to work
> Girl from call center walks up and says her vagOOO is broken.
> Go to womb with penis. Totally works.
> Midas dick
> YOU'RE A GENIUS!

office depot charges $150 to run ccleaner and defrag.

my boss gets mad because I never sell these plans.

one day

>>34583666
back in the day
>customer brings in a tv that apparently caught fire
>open it up
>charred pcbs everywhere
>look at input board
>theres a screw in the fuse holder
>customer: "well, it kept burning through fuses and i got fed up with it".

>>34583625
I had something similar to this when I worked in a computer shop the summer between my first and second years in University.

>Woman comes in complaining about how her new system is slowing down
>Tried to blame us for using substandard components
>"We only use Intel chips and Asus motherboards unless the customer specifies otherwise, and the hard drives are all 7200 RPM Western Digital. I can assure you the components are certainly not substandard"
>She responds with "I never heard of half those names, what are you trying to pull?"
>After giving up on reasoning we just start subtly insulting her, eventually after showing her the motherboard we used won some sort of editor's choice award, we ask if she wants us to call the manager
>She storms out of the store
>Later that day, get a phone call
>"My computer blew up"
>wat

Turns out, she asked her dumbass neighbour about the system, and he said that we might have "underclocked" the components. So her reasoning was to take the Jezza approach and add power- which is why she switched the PSU from 115v to 230v while the system was powered on.

>>34583916
LOL

>>34583922
Tell him they'd actually make money just selling them at 10 dollars

>>34583625
>>34583936
Is that why power supplies don't have that anymore?

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>Customer wants us to build him a "badass" desktop with at least 8GB of ram, high end video card etc.
>Tell him OS would be about another $135
> He said he would save money and go by his own.
>okay that is fine and tell him to get Win 7 64 bit
>buys Vista 32 bit
> 3.25 GB usable (8GB)
>MFW

>>34583983
>buys Vista
>buys Vista
>buys Vista
>buys Vista
This is the worst part.

>>34583968
actually, active pfc makes the 110/220 selector redundant. but yeah, it eliminates a source of consumer stupidity

>>34583947
exactly. but corporate handles pricing. data back ups are $100 too.

also, a lot of people come in asking for phone and tablet cases and I just outright say to look on amazon or monoprice

>>34583936
hah. the jezza approach.

>>34582591
>BF makes his GF take their computer.
etc

>>34584007
i work at staples actually I can say its pretty much the same over here. people complain about our jewish prices. we can't do much about it.

staples also hates selling many items both online and in-store.

>>34583983
Illiterates seem to love false economies. I had to fight tooth and nail with a friend of mine who wanted to build his first computer.

>Do we really need to buy new RAM? Like can't we just use the old stuff?
Your current RAM is DDR-400 while the motherboard can use DDR-1600. False economy.

>OK, but what about the hard drive? We can re-use that, can't we?
No, the old one uses an interface called IDE, which is incompatible with the new motherboard, which uses SATA. Besides, your old drive is only 80 GB, why would you not just get a new 500 GB one?

>Alright, so how about the graphics card?
But that's a fucking Radeon X1600, that wo- remind me, why are you building a new computer again?

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>my other coworker tech gets a call to go on a service call to help find a customer's icon
>coworker arrives at her house
>she said she had someone out from gook squad to look at it and said they made it worse
>he tries a system restore and later it failed
>he tells her I will try another date point
>she rages and asked why it failed
>he explained it is hard to pinpoint but updates incomplete, etc
>she then says it is clear he doesn't know what he is doing and asked him to leave because she said he was hacking to gain her computers personal files to use for us profit from
>his face and mine when we he returned and told me the tale

>Friday
>Putting systems into burn in (stress test) for the weekend that someone else built
>Monday morning checking on the systems to see if they burned in properly
>See one of the systems CPU temps sitting at 100
>Someone forgot to plug in the heat sink fan and it was at 100 for the whole weekend
Now that's what I call burned in.

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>>34583729

Did you?

>>34584169
>that someone else built
do you read?

>>34584181
Who are you responding to?

>>34584224
#rekt

>>34584224
finally a legitimate use for
>who are you quoting?

>>34584131
Just curious, did you mean Burn it in?

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>>34583315
>Same customer
>Giving customer options for his build (CPU, RAM,etc)
>Customer gets a tone and say I don't want any computer parts from China.
>Computer parts from China
>Parts from China
>from China
>Then mention it comes with windows 7
>Customer rages saying Windows 7 is for games and that he wants XP 64 bit
> Currently customer is raging saying it is the computer we built is the reason the printer
won't work
>MFW

>>34584294
How do you mean?

>>34584237
>>34584257
Not the guy who said that, but before it was deleted, it was some other guy asking
'Were you drunk when you built that PC?'

>>34584316
I hate some of the shit our sales people do.

1366 triple channel board/CPU?
Two DIMMs

16 gigs of RAM?
32 bit OS

Just drives me nuts.

>>34584327
Is the program you use called "Burn it in"?

>>34584379
Nope.

I just hate lying to the customers. Bull shitting them won't get me any where.

>working at local computer shop for summer
>9/10 brings in her MBP saying that it is broken
>"alright, let's have a look"
>turns on fine, proceed to fiddle with it for a bit
>"what do you mean it's broken?"
>she replies "it wouldn't even turn on before, you're pretty good"
>"thanks, just come back if you have any more issues"
>she replies "how much is this going to cost"
>"No charge"
>she replies "aww you're so sweet"
>one thing led to another
>long story short, I ended up installing my Gentoo all over her face

>>34584484

wat...

>>34584484
You made a picture of her off the security camera your wallpaper?

>>34584484

nope

>work at walmat
>guy wants to use 7 year old emachines on a brand new 38 inch vizio class A
>let him buy the tv without arguement

such is life

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>customer says PC won't go into windows
>customer said he tried a system something to fix it
>take hdd out and put on test bench.
>no data found and lol
>call 10 min after asking is he did a factory or a system restore
>Customer rages saying we lost all his data
>tell him it appears he may have done a factory restore
>tell him we can data recovery but it could take up to 5 days or more since it was over written and we gave the price
>customer says no I don't have that kind of time
>customer is butthurt and says fine just get my computer working again and I will pick it up in a week
>Ok
>other tech working and customer picks it up and turns it on in the shop to make sure it works
>customer goes ape shit saying he said we got his data back.
>lol wat
>yells at him and says oh great now you fuckers can't keep your story straight. First you say I lost my data because of a factory restore then you say you can restore data.You fuckers can't keep your restore stories straight.
>MFW

>>34584484
>MBP
It's a trap.

>>34584640
get out

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>work tech support for university
>receive a tidal wave of trouble tickets; it's finals week and a shitload of people can't print in busy comp lab
>arrive to long line of angry lib arts majors queued at the print release station shitting themselves, they all turn as one to stare hate holes through me
>ohboyherewego.jpg
>user/pass input case sensitive
>someone had CAPS LOCK turned on
>turn Caps Lock off, everything working fine, crisis averted
>"Hey bro, it must be nice to be paid to just press a key. Thanks to you, I'm running late for class. Get a real job." -- Random Douchebag
>mfw

>>34584700

Should have asked him why he didn't think of it if pressing a key was such an obvious solution.

>>34584700
God I hate lib arts people so much.

>>34584700
>Random Douchebag
Jones? I'll nail your head the next time i see you.

>>34584484
What architecture? I hope you used x64 to recognize both cheeks.

>>34584700
>user/pass input case sensitive
>someone had CAPS LOCK turned on
>one key is enough to break the whole system
So much for our education system.

>>34584700
How many liberal arts majors does it take to switch off caps lock?

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>customer brings in desktop and says it's broken
>open side panel and hear it clicking like a fucking metronome
>tell him is a mechanical failure and need a new hard drive
>customer asks if I can add more power to it by connecter another wire to it
>tell him that is impossible for one and even if I couldn't I wouldn't because power to the hard drive is not the issue
>customer get bitchy tone and says so you won't even try?
>MFW

>>34584861
connecting another wire

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>Be working at Geek Squad
>Customer comes in while I am patrolling network isle
>Asks me where the non-wireless range extenders are
>wat
>non
>wireless
>range
>extender
>I ask him to explain it
>mfw he needs a wire

To this day I don't know if I was trolled or not.

>>34584730
I should have, but I was actually on break when I got the tickets (only one on duty that day) and I just wanted to get the fuck out of there and back to my over-priced panini in the break room.

>>34584792
Wrong guy.

>>34584824
I've been bitching to my higher up to do something about that rather glaring flaw for TWO YEARS, but all I get is lip service. Fucking bureaucracy.

>Gooooooood morning (aparently saying good for a long time makes people happy)
>you're though o me at viirgin media, how i can i help you today
>AM I THROUGH TO A FUCKING UK CALL CENTRE
>eh, yes sir
>I JUST HUNG UP THREE TIMES CAUSE I WENT THROUGH TO SOME INDIAN.
(Indian call centers aren't even open when UK one's are- people with indian accents can live in the uk)
>switch to my actual harsh Scottish accent which people can never understand just to piss him off.
>alright, so how can i help
>your engineer was here when i was out and set up my connection but i can connect on my laptop
>Did the internet not walk you through how to connect?
>i wasn't in when the engineer came
>well if you were, he would ha showed you. could ye tell me how you're trying tae connect.
48 minutes later and i still couldn't get him to put in the password that is on the back of the router into windows.
some people shouldn't be allowed.

>>34584700
>>"Hey bro, it must be nice to be paid to just press a key. Thanks to you, I'm running late for class. Get a real job." -- Random Douchebag

You should have slit his throat.
I fucking hate shitty art students

>>34584861
God dammit, I don't get how people can ask you shit like this when they have no clue what they're talking about. It's like having me take the car to my mechanic and trying to lecture them on how to fix it.

>"Hi my transmission's slipping like a motherfucker"
>The fluid's all burnt out, it's fucking brown, and there are metal bits from the planetary gears and dissolved hydraulic clutch in the transmission fluid pan. It's going to have to be rebuilt.
>"Well what if we just changed the fluid?"

>>34584952
>TWO YEARS
Well, i hope you get a nicer job somewhere else in the future. I used to work at a telecom company, and people get paid to report a flaw in the system (even minor ones like yours).

>>34584952
>I've been bitching to my higher up to do something about that rather glaring flaw for TWO YEARS, but all I get is lip service. Fucking bureaucracy.
do you not send out a note at the start of a new year explain passwords/usernames etc

In most schools and colleges over here, students need to read and sign privacy and tos sheets about using the computers. and you get like a 20 minute lecture on good computer etiquette

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>>34585051
Why are you saging a tech-related thread? Polite counter-sage.

> tech repair
> medium aged guy comes in says keyboard doesnt work anymore with new laptop
> present to his brat who is now crying because ts not working after 2 weeks
> gives whole speech how terribad the quality and he demands repeations for wronging his people or some shit
> laptop cost millions how dare we etc
> take it appart
> notice dried up crusted liquid arround keys n stuff
> faint yellowish grey
> ... thats cum isnt it ...
> call manager to have a laugh
> whole department rolls on the floor
> manager decides to up the stakes
> tells me to not fix it, potentially hazardous biological materials
> manager calls up customer, puts him on speakerphone
> asks customer if there was any liquid damage
> no
> tripple checks, tells himt o ask son
> no
> manager informs him that due to the residue of bodily fluids we wont touchit and his warranty is void
> just hear a very loud smack in the background and an ouch
> customer thanks manager and sayd he will be arround to pick it up

>>34585072
he's saging properly

>>34585086
>laptop cost millions
Was it a Mac or something?

>>34585072
He's using sage properly; his post didn't contain a related story and so it wasn't worth bumping the thread.

Remember: this isn't Reddit. Sage is not a downvote, it's neutral.

>>34584700
>Hey bro, it must be nice to be paid to just press a key. Thanks to you, I'm running late for class. Get a real job

I've read over this at least 3 or 4 times, and it still astounds me how someone can even attempt to blame you for their own blatant stupidity.

Holy fucking shit.

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>Customer brings in crap HP desktop
>Wants to play BF3 and wants a 660 video card
tell customer we can do that but we recommend better cooling or maybe a better case for airflow. Also needs a better PSU
> Says IDC do it I want to play meh games
>Install card and do burn in tests
>customer comes in butthurt saying it was bad.
>Card overheated like a bitch
>MFW

>>34585011

People do shit like that all the time. They think the mechanic is trying to rip them off by suggesting needed repairs. But some people have the "if it ain't broke don't fix it" attitude and even then they think they know what's best to fix it.

>>34585221
>not selling him a GPU with a blower cooler
You're a terrible person.

>>34585011
That's actually all fine until they march straight back to their shitty company and boss then COMPLETELY LIE about what you said and did.

>THAT ASSHOLE SAID I WAS AN IDIOT AND DIDNT KNOW ANYTHING... HE WOULDNT EVEN SOLVE MY PROBLEM

then their shitty boss calls your shitty boss and misrepresents the problem even more. cue the same fucking lecture. EVEN IF YOU TELL HIM IN ADVANCE WHAT THAT DUMBASS DID.


>>34585208
it can work if you control the shit mob, if they are all anused like you and just want someone to blame. someone else posted a story on here about how they were asked to fix the router. the idiot knew he fucked it up and waited for him to take it down... the moment he did he ran back to everyone else and screamed OH ANON HAS HIS DIRTY HANDS ON IT *HE* IS THE REASON WHY IT HAS BEEN SHITTY FOR 2 YEARS
they fucking believed him too

>>34585172
keep letting them make retards out of themselves

>>34585291
>Ever using a blower

>>34585291
customer just wanted the card he picked out. Said we recommended cooling or a different card and didn't want it

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>>34584700
should have told him to get a real degree
fucking art students

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>Customer buys refurbished POS Sony laptop from best buy
>says it is broken
>do a hard drive test
>bad hdd and call customer and say a new hdd is around $80 if he wants the same GB size.
>replies with you guys are freaking clowns trying to rip off an old man. I can get a new computer for that.
>Where?
>Walmart
>MFW

bump

>>34585579
...shoudn't you replace the hard drive if he just bought it and its broken?

>>34585861
Best Buy are fucking assholes.

>>34585861
viewed receipt he brought in and it was past the 90 days

>FIX IT
>start to fix it
>NO DONT TOUCH THAT
>well I kinda need to, in order to fix this-
>YOU ARE WRONG CALL THE COMPANY
>they will say I need to change this. it is on their documentation
>YOU JUST MADE THAT UP. CALL THEM AND WASTE AN HOUR.
>kay
>hour later: they say the same shit
>put on speakerphone
>WELL THEY ARE WRONG
>GET THIS THIRD PARTY SOFTEWARE THAT SAYS IT WILL FIX IT, I AM REALLY SMART
>software just changes the same thing as in the docs anyway
>USE THE THIRD PARTY SOFTWARE
>well this is only a trial and it will not do th-
>HOW MUCH IS IT
>not listed on their site
>CALL THEM
>some retarded sum
>WOW THAT IS WAY TOO MUCH, WHY DID YOU EVEN RECOMMEND THAT SOFTWARE ANON
>JUST CALL THE COMPANY AND HAVE THEM REMOTE IN
>DON'T TELL THEM ABOUT THEIR OWN DOCS THOUGH
>company remotes in and changes the thing I would have changed
>two weeks later we get a bill for $200+

Wasn't an official job but I once had a friend's mother ask me to look at her laptop, she took it to a local repair shop and they said they'd have to replace the motherboard which is of course usually pointless in a laptop since the OEM replacement is so goddamn expensive anyway.

I look at it and turns out it's overheating. Vacuum out the dust and VOILA, good as new. Still going strong.

>>34585922
> fix something
> get a bill for it

uwotm8

>>34585922
And you forwared that bill to that guy right?

>Client says the POS computer we built him 6 months went out.
>Said it wouldn't power on
>open case and see dust
>look over and run tests on hardware
> Yep these parts are bad
>about to start to RMA parts and let the customer know
>2nd tech asks where he kept it
>Client says in his garage or outside in the yard if he was in the garage
>lol and tell him this is void by our store due to negligence
>look closer and notice it is dust and saw dust

>>34586070
it's amazing how these faggots treat their shit they got ripped off so hard for

no wonder shitty consumer laptops are made so shitty, they know that it just has to last one year, because these retards will break it before then no matter how well built it was, so it doesn't have to be

>brings in laptop
>MUH JACK IS GONE
>well what the fuck happened
>I ... UH DROPPED IT ON THE FLOOR
>oh you mean it fell off the table by accident
>NO... KINDA THREW IT BECAUSE I WAS ANGRY BECAUSE MUH EMAIL WOULDNT WORK... ACTUALLY I THREW IT REALLY HARD AT A ROCK
>how much did you pay for this
>$3K+, I WAS REALLY MAD THO

>>34584089
maybe you can keep his old case

>>34586142
>it's amazing how these faggots treat their shit they got ripped off so hard for

almost every customer I work with feels if they pay for laptop repair or tweak that it equals life time tech support

just the other day I had a customer call saying his computer is fucked thanks to us. He brought it in because the video was messed up on the mobo 6 weeks ago. We have used cards in the back and pop it in. $15 Works great now and ok bye. Now calling saying he can't open word.

>video card install = MS word broken

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>>34584640

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>>34585359
>someone else posted a story on here about how they were asked to fix the router
Holy fuck, I was just reminded of that. God damn was that ever frustrating to read.

>mfw picturing his family

>>34584950
It was a joke, and a hilarious one at that

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>work at a school that teaches computer learning classes for Office and some higher level certifications for ITs
>instructor led classroom is full of idiots who are forced to take Word 2010 by their employer because they are dumb shits
>bunch of complaints about mice and keyboards not working
>they're wireless
>replace all the batteries in keyboards in mice
>hour wasted
>still wont work
>investigate a little
>instructor is a dumb shit and took out all of the adapters for the wireless thinking they were flash drives

>>34583922
seriously? thats like 10 minutes work tops..
what kind of prick wants to charge that high.

you should offer the service personally, not through the store get some cash on the side

>>34583695
Your coworker was an asshat.

>>34584982
i have that issue with BT all the time, I don't mind speaking to johnny foreigner most of the time because they know their shit, but people in the U.K are so retarded when it comes to technology.

>>34587610
yeah who wastes a perfectly good slushie?

>>34587658
I know right, please tell me it wasn't a red slushie, cause that would just be criminal

How the fuck do you get cum on your computer?
Like honestly.
What the fuck.
Did he try to blow his load on the screen for some reason?

>Working help desk at community college
>Guy brings in his computer
>Getting angry because firefox is coming up with everything in swedish
>his search history was swedish google and swedish websites because he had some foreign people use his machine

and another
>Guy brings his iMac in
>His cat had pissed on it or pissed on the powercables or something and caused it to short circuit
>Asks us to recover whatever data we can from his hdd
>his hard drive was full of photos of his female friends faces Photoshopped onto porn stars bodies

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I thought this was a funny/crazy story thread not a rage thread

>Trying to do a bootfix
>Call customer
>"Is there anything you might have done?"
>"I was trying to disable microsoft activation...so I went into regedit"
>(Screaming internally)
>"And I deleted the microsoft folder"

Also
>Customer brings in TB hard drive for recovery
>All but 16gb is porn

Oh and I'm just wondering, quick question for fellow tecchies

What's the best portable temperature monitoring software program?

And the best free equivalent to logmein123?

>>34588434
hwinfo64

>>34588434
>lm-sensors
>cputemp
Go linux, or go >>>/b/

>At LAN party
>Fix a girls 10 year old computer
>YOU CANT OPEN THE CASE! THE WARRANTY WILL GET VOID!
>Are you fucking serious??
>She's squealing and nagging about every part you remove.
>Shit is so clogged.
>Install new HDD, fans, thermal paste
>do regular shit to XP, msconfig, ccleaner, defrags, reg tweaks
>Defrag can't even finish
>One week later she complains I broke the thing.
>Time to build you a new one I guess.
>Buys shitty Dell desktop PC.

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>>34589094
>Im-sensors
>Portable

>>34585898
what about 2 years warranty? Or is it only common in europe

>>34589653
In usa you typically only get 60 or 90 days on refurbished.

>>34583550
He's actually from funnyjunk, look at the filename

>>34583916
fucking pOnOs!

>Go to IT guy at school
>"Hey, I have a problem. My program crashes each time i try to start it"
>"Have you tired to restart it?"
>"Yes."
>"Well, then it is nothing much to do. We have to do a full re-installing."
>Says I need to go home and do a backup first.
>Spend 30 min home, manage to fix the problem.

I promise you. That IT guys only solution to everything is to re-install everything.

>>34589847
Get the fuck out.

>>34583666

>backing up porn you find in customers' computers
>not calling every coworker and the boss when you find weird shit just to have a laugh

costanza.jpg

You are paid to pretend that they don't browse porn websites where they get all the malware that brings them in your store.

>>34584700
as a lib art major i apologize for my kins stupidity
most of them around here arent this stupid

>anon my laptop hinge is broken
>...
>I kinda threw it...

Had to replace 80% of the bodywork. On the plus side, got given an old sony with an 8400M as well as being paid, so I can practice reballing on that.

>>34590000
"Reinstalling everything" probably costs him about 2 minutes of "work", if he's smart.

>>34590000
seriously if you cant diagnose a problem in less than 10 minutes in the long run if your trying to troubleshoot a bunch of random problems every day in the long run spending 3 minutes to reimage is much quicker and less stress

>>34583758
>tfw I have OCD, a lighter version of Asperger's and schizophrenia

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>>34584364
Get rek't

>>34582575 (OP)
>be me in shop
>get customer computer
>Dell Optiplex 280
>look at invoice
>Some guy reports of a "porn virus" on his computer
>ok lets take a look
>power on
>goes straight to windows XP desktop
>everything seems normal, all his icons are there
>go to click start
>instantly my screen is filled with the biggest blackest highest resolution cock on the entire screen
>the screen then violently flashes different pictures of enormous phallus filling my screen
>push power button
>throw drive into symatec and superanti-spyware and like 3 other programs on another computer
>65 entries for malicious .dll files and .exe scripts
>2 hours of search later its finally stopped picking up all this shit
>instal HDD back to customer computer
>boots fine, everything seems fine
>realize customer didn't have ANY anti-virus programs at all
>give him AVG and malwarebytes

>>34591126
same guy
>get computer saying problem was "the computer turns on but no video comes out
>after taking it to my work bench, first thing I do is plug it into the KBM
>soon as I touch the VGA, its covered in rust, the entire port is literally fucking orange brown from metal oxidation, the pins on the inside are ALL rusted, the back IO cover is rusted, every fucking female port on this thing is like someone lived in the fucking jungle for years and years
>look inside
>somehow the computer works even though the top of every capacitor is colored brown with oxide, the metal levers on the heatsink is ALL orange brown, the heatsink made of aluminum is actually pitted, which is just a white oxide layer, tells me this has been sitting somewhere moist for a REALLY long time.
>clean the contacts of the VGA port, mild nitric acid cleans most rust
I don't know what became of this computer, I left for the day and had work off the next but I'll see what happened to it.

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>>34591126
>instantly my screen is filled with the biggest blackest highest resolution cock on the entire screen

>MFW

>>34583916
>Midas dick
My sides didn't need this kind of torture.

>>34591246
I just have to ask, considering all the posts in this thread and all of those in the past.

How do these people remember how to breathe?

i work in pc support, do people really think we won't notice all that porn in their computers? jesus fuck at least take yout hdd out first

>>34591246
same guy again
>get laptop
>customer says it won't charge and plug is really loose
>look at power socket
>its pushed in and isn't flush with the rest of the plastic
>time for disection
>its a gateway M6320, pretty nice looking computer, has red plastic furnishings, aluminum furnishings and other stuff
>flip over, take screw driver to back cover
>from what I smelled was like if you farted in a jar and saved it for another day except that fart is replaced with what smelled like 20 years of fancy cigarette smoking.
>inside of laptop could only tell me what the inside of this guy's house smelt like
>dust, dark brown dust fills the inside of this thing
>took a multimeter to the motherboard
>I don't have to replace anything, the multimeter power dies on the motherboard near the power jack so my work is effectively done
>look on ebay for new motherboard
>new motherboard wants 300 dollars for it
>call customer tell them nope this won't fly unless you pay another 500 dollars for parts and labor
>tells me to just scrap it
okey dokey

>>34591330
If people knew how to properly take care of computers, people like me wouldn't exist, people often don't like spending multiple hundreds of dollars on computers so if they have a computer that works then it works

>>34591355
I had to call the police once because of child porn on someone's computer

he kept telling me "nah nah man its a virus got put all dat child porn on there" which is a total lie because he didn't bring in his computer for a virus and I always scan every hard drive anyway and didn't find any

needless to say he didn't visit our shop again let alone get on a computer

>>34583666
Sounds like the son was a /gif/ regular

>>34586142
>$3K+
It's only, like, workstation laptops that cost that much.

>be it support for several legal offices around town
>chick from one office calls me up "internet not working fix plox"
>drive 40 miles over to the their office building
>check under table
>router power connector is pulled out of the outlet
>plug it back in
>drive 40 miles back home

>>34591388
>I had to call the police once because of child porn on someone's computer
Spineless sheep.

>>34585146
>Was it a Mac
>cum on keyboard
ofc

>>34591512
I'm required to, if I give back a computer to someone with illegal content like that, all hell boils over

>>34591500
The pay better be worth that effort.

>>34591500
I'm sick of you fucking techno-snobs. You're so full of shit and beta. Some people don't have time for checking under every table at every power cable. Some people actually have stuff to do. Some people spent their time at college studying important things like law rather than wasting their time building computers and studying electricity. God I hate you so much. So what if I called you out to my house to fix my computer and the keyboard wasn't plugged in or something, I HAVE SHIT TO DO UNLIKE YOU

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I usually work at home where 90% of jobs is Windows reload and laptop HDD replacement.

>I reinstalled windows on friend's PC
>few days later one of his RAM sticks dies
>his other friends accuse me of putting virus on his RAM

>Another windows reload for some stranger
>few hours later she calls me that her laptop died
>"did you connect the charger?"
>hmmm... no

>Some guy's PC doesn't work
>open it up
>The whole inside is covered in some kind of oil. WHAT THE FUCK?!

>Someone calls me and ask how much I change for windows reload
>I tell them
>"OK, I will call you later"
>15 mins later he calls back
>Tell me do a reload myself
>u wut m8?

Can't think of more for now.

>>34590000
I do that too, i just load up custom windows installer with all shit already preinstalled so only click two times and bam entire OS is reinstalled without me having to do shit. if you think we will spend 5 hours to pinpoint all problems in your toolbar spyware polluted system to try and patch it up for the next month after which it would collapsed anyway, then you are out of your fucking mind.

>>34591126
>AVG
>be your boss
>"you are fired!"

>>34591693
we are obligated to put an anti-virus on the computer if there isn't one

we can't let a computer leave until it does because we can't warranty the functionality of a computer after its left the shop in regards to virus removal

its either AVG or MSE I couldn't give a shit less

>>34591612
I never said i was angry. In fact those cases are easiest made money ever.

>>34591612
Go back to the pleistocene

>>34591719
It's not about providing antivirus, it's about giving them fucking trainwreck AVG, get nod32 or get out.

>>34591500
Why can't places have at least one person around who's IT savvy enough to do shit like that? Not even a dedicated IT person but someone who could take care of minor shit

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I enjoy being called for retarted problems when I'm being paid for it.

>>34591612
>Be in Community College CIS Lab
>Crazy law student comes in
>Waving around cd in paper case
>"I need someone to edit this for me so I can send it in to Alex Jones Contest"
>Tinfoil.jpeg
>My internal insides explode with laughter
>Tell her to 180 and talk to people in the Apple section where she'll most likely find some artsy faggot.
>Cross my fingers and hope to god I'm never framed and this looney is my public defender.

>>34591522

Most places I've worked in operate differently, general consensus is if we find something then 99% of the time we shouldn't have been looking in the first place, unless it's a desktop shortcut marked CP or something. Most places say if you find it leave it otherwise they get a bad name for snooping.

Any of you leave stuff on people's pc's?

I'd succumb to the urge to put a tranny pic in someone's family pictures just for shits.

>Work in corporate IT support
>Guy comes in with a thinkpad that's been pretty much smashed
>I can see it's clearly been run over by a car (it's still got tire marks on it) and won't boot even with the charger (so much for that super durability)
>Tell the guy the laptop's a goner and that he'll be issued a new laptop which will be ready for pickup in the next few days
>After he leaves I start making a closer inspection so that I can write the detailed damage report as per company policy
>Basically nothing salvageable, even the HDD makes a rattling noise when I shake it (the platters have broken into splinters)
>Make a note saying that the damage seems pretty deliberate as the thing wasn't even in the bag he was issued when it was run over
>A couple of days later the guy storms in and is pissed as hell
>Has a printout of my damage report (which includes the pictures I took) that has been forwarded to him as part of the internal investigation (our HR department likes to make a big thing of stuff like this so they have a major investigation every time something like this happens)
>Starts screaming at me, saying that I lied about the extent of the damages
>Calmly tell him that it's all there with pictures and that I haven't lied at all
>Tries to punch me (I block his punch and punch him in the jaw) and then stumbles off
>Turns out that it's not the first time he's tried to get a newer machine with a trick like this
>He's no longer allowed a company laptop to use at home so another tech gets the lovely job of going to retrieve the new machine he got and install a desktop at his work post (I intentionally called in sick that day)
A long story shot: The guy ended up getting fired and charged for assault of my co-worker.

>>34591760
if its an antivirus and its free, it does what its intended to do its fine

>>34583625
> tfw intentionally flipped the switch on the PSU when I was young to get a new desktop computer.
> tfw it worked

>>34591838
When its CP inside the documents folder or documents and settings folder under windows XP and windows 7 and the customer asks us to back stuff up, yea it becomes a problem

>>34591622
>>Tell me do a reload myself
>>u wut m8?
Could you elaborate on this?

>>34592053
The guy called me and asked how to do a reload himself because he didn't wanted to pay me for it.
I just told him to fuck off

>>34591955
Did you even study martial arts?

>>34592072
Okay, well done. I wish it was possible to punch peopl ethrough the phone.

>>34584700
that reminds me of my days in community college
>upper floors of english/libarts building was mostly psychology/liberals arts classes
>they had to make an makeshift IT helpdesk because nobody there could into technology
>in the math/science buildings, that never happened, in fact, students were allowed to change the toner cartridges and replace paper (although the area was on camera and keycard access was required to open the printer/supply room, so if something went amiss, you were to blame)

>>34592159
>although the area was on camera
That is sad. There is nothing funnier than photocopying your but.

>>34592181
*butt

>>34589653
>2yr warranty
>refurbs

this isnt costco, my friend

Customer wants his laptop repaired because he dropped it. Look it over. Do a hdd test. Bad. Needs new keyboard , cracked screen, and new front screen bezel. Tell him to get a new computer it's not cost effective. Asks us he doesn't care and to call him when it's done. $360 in parts and labor. Customer come to pick it up and sees bill. Customer goes ape shit saying we he brought it in it needs a new keyboard and saying we borke the other components.

>>34587654
the interviews for tech and normal csr are the same.
apart from 10 questions, one being
how many bits in a byte
in one of the training groups i had. only 2 people had got that right...

>>34590000
that was how my high school did it

>oh look computer #MC22 isnt working
>thats okay, just boot it from the network (the imaging server was network bootable and automated) and reimage it from image MC-S
>um wat
>fine, ill do it myself

>>34590000
that's the best way to fix anything.
it takes about 2 minutes of work and fixes all problems rather than just the ones you see

>be a server in restaurant
>costumer demands i help him with computer
>it's a macbook air or pro or something
>tell him I would recommend he gets hi, self a non-Apple produkt
>tells me to fuck off

>1 month or so later
>same costumer, barely recognize him
>expensive suit and sharp look instead of dreads and shit he had before
>tells me he took my advice
>tells me his life is perfect and he's a multi-millionaire now
>gives me a large and heavy travelling suitcase and tell me to open when I get home

>get home after work
>open suitcase
>there's a million dollars there

I shit you not. I don't care if you don't believe me. That was the happiest day of my life which turned everything around for me. I will never forget it.

>>34591681
how the fuck do i create a custom installer with all my shit?

>>34592181
actually, i have seen someone planking on the scanner bay at the same printer (it was a standard multi-function, just with a computer terminal controlling it.

needless to say i swiped my card, and pressed color copy (paying the $0.15 or whatever it was). he simply reached for his pants as i walked away.

>>34583749
I can't find that option.
Do you get in in the shopping cart or do you have to add it?

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>build custom computer
>tell customer what he gets, core i3,4 gb blah, and windows 7
>customer demands he wants a better computer
>upgrade to core i5 and add 8gb or ram
>ok sir computer done. Here you go
>Get rude phone call 3 days later saying he wanted XP
>brings computer back wanting refund.
>tell him no there is nothing wrong with the computer and we told you the build comes with 7.
>You assholes talk to fast for me to hear
>lol wat
>tell him XP 32 bit won't take advantage of this system and 64 bit XP won't play well with other software or hardware (printers, etc)
>still wants 64 bit.
>this was a year ago.
>customer calls every month saying the pos is fucked and even on the paper work he wrote "fix this piece of shit"
>came in last night want me to print out all the "generic parts on a sheet for him" Model number for every part
>Why sir?
>Says he is taking us to court
>lol what
>says he is tired of bring it to us since we suck
>he couldn't open IE. (He deleted the icon)
>said he took it to geek squad and they couldn't install his new router due to the OS and he said it was the shitty parts
>Now he is threatening to sue us for the computer and all the bills he acquired for the years from using 4 different techs to come out to his house.
>Lol my ass off
>old people get crazy

>>34592365
5/10 simply because this is so asinine.

>>34592365
lel

>>34592418
rt customiser

>>34592535
wait, just realised the 7 version is called something different, rt7lite I think

>>34592552
thanks

>>34592502
this is your fault.
You offer a few days return policy.

why do you expect him to know he needs a 64bit OS to use all his rams/

>>34592577
wut? They did what he asked within a few days and then he came back much later it sounds pissed off about it.

How is that anyone but the customer's fault?

>>34592623
The customer is always right.

>>34592577
>>34592623
>>34592502
I would've just put 32-bit xp on it

>>34592522
Well, I don't care what you think. I own my own business repairing computers and everything is great now. Far-fetched story, but true nonetheless.

>>34583429

get your a+ certification.

>>34592639
They are absolutely not - especially in fields such as this.

>get called for computer repair
>old laptop running windows XP SP1 isnt working with wireless router
>update laptop to SP3
>still can't connect to router
>double check everything set for WPA2
>still can't connect to router
>set router to WEP
>laptop finally connects to router
>explain situation to client
>they say ok and I get my 20$

>>34583337

You're pissed at the fact he either muddled up his words, or the fact he may have been autistic? No you're just a dick. Stay friendless and forever alone anon

I assist a sysadmin and only do internal stuff, so I'll share some stories that didn't happen on the job.

>macfriend teacher
>surprised to learn it's possible to play games on a PC instead of a console
>gets pancreatic cancer
>dies

>at cabin with macfriend uncle
>only talks about apple products and food
>brought macbook, ipad, iphone, ipod touch
>asks if anyone has a spare alarm clock or if someone could wake him

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>mfw people dont realize deleting files doesnt actualy wipe them from the hard drive
>mfw recovering peoples deleted files
>mfw nudes, a million different kinds of fetish porn

>>34592623
because
>You assholes talk to fast for me to hear

he wasn't informed correctly.
If he had taken them to court he would have probably won.
Not accepting the return is illegal in the UK, duno about america.
how would you like it if you went to a bank and they sold you a bunch of shit you didn't need or understand what it was?

>>34592738
you are a very unethical person and shouldn't be trusted to fix people's computers.

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>>34592738
>mfw using ext4
>mfw it's nearly impossible to recover an unlinked inode
>mfw faggots like you can't snoop on deleted files using it

>>34592754
wat
I dont copy the shit but the software we use doesnt let you specify
"do you want to only recover non-nude images"
Sorry If I cant just blank random parts of the screen dynamically while searching for someones vacation photos


also
>have to reflow laptops a lot
>look over previous entry forms out of curiosity
>realize over 90% of all reflows have been toshiba satellites

Whats up with those things man

>>34592808
Why do you need to look at the files?

>>34592808
not tx series HPs?

>>34583934
jesus christ I didn't know people were ever that stupid

>>34592768
I doubt people who dont use ntfs of hfs would need to bring in their machine for anything related to basic data recovery.

>>34592854
if you've never replaced a fuse with a bit of foil or something, you're just a bit of a pussy

> internship for IT department at a big law firm
> get called to fix a computer on 8th floor
> goes to the room where I have to fix computer
> first thing I see as i entered the room is a flying mug of coffee being throwing to the wall next to me
> coffee mug shatters and stains the wall
> lawyer shouts at me to get the fuck out
> i leave
> 5 minutes later, I'm being escorted out of the building for a thrown mug of coffee that I did not throw
> lost my internship job
> been unemployed for about a year before I found another job

I hate lawyers since that day. Most of them are lying pieces of shit.

>>34592365
Didn't everyone walk the dinosaur?

>>34592878
>>34592854
but honestly, if a fuse blows instantly after powering on a device, and does this for a few replacements of said fuse, either you are using a horribly underrated fuse or something is seriously wrong

fuses are protective equipment. its like fucking a fertile bitch in the pussy without a condom when you dont want pregnancy/stds

>>34592840
Because when you run recovery software for pictures on a hard drive you recover all the pictures that are still readable.

After you delete a file it becomes "unlinked" from the system and that space is able to be written over with new data. These now usable sectors are written to at random so deleted data can be on the hard drive for an hour to over a year before its written over. So if I choose to recover pictures Im getting a metric shit ton of data depending on the hard drive size.

The customer has the option of sifting through it themselves but 99% of the time, like this case, she said she only wanted her vacation photos.

like I said
>mfw people dont realize deleting their pictures doesnt actually remove them

Try to keep your presumptions to a minimum and you wont sound like such an aspie

>>34592739
If you don't know anything about computers, why would you get a custom computer built for you?

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>>34592654
>>34592577
>>34592623

We told the customer we would put XP 32 bit on and we told him the pros and cons of XP 32 bit and 64 bit. We told him what WE recommend and he still wanted XP 64. We even said 7 would be a better choice for this machine and he got more pissed. So it's not OUR fault we told him what we recommend and now %85 is XP and 64 bit and he claims all his software won't work. We offer a return policy if computer parts or bad or wants an software tweak etc. Usually a window of a month. It's been a YEAR yea no.

>>34592899
Why didn't you do anything? Because he's a lawyer? The stupid fuck would've probably represented himself in a case and screwed himself over.

You get no pity from me, worm.

>>34592950
Because I was not under any contract or anything. There is nothing I could do if they wanted to get rid of a intern with no contract. And yes, just because he is a big shot lawyer, means he could lie his way through anything. Also he has the money to keep appealing if he loses. I don't got that kind of money.

>>34592739
No he yelled and DEMANDED XP told him PROS AND CONS of it and of 32 vs 64. It has been a year. He wants a refund yesterday once it is out of the different shop it is currently in.
>build July 2012
>He didn't want a refund from the start he wanted XP

>>34592979
The least you could have done was string a dead rabbit on the door handle of his appartment/house with a piece of paper stabled on with the word "Liar" written with coffee on it.

>>34593012
>taking your anger out on a rabbit
Please dont :<

>>34593012
And get the cops on my ass while having to shit in a jail cell for a week?

No thx.

>>34592927
>>34592927
you can recover the full file structure and just save the images from user aeras.
they will still have useless files, but at least you don't need to look at them.

either way there is no call for you to bring it up anywhere.

>>34592942
Your first comment didn't read like you had put xp on it after he complained. in that case he's just a dick and you did all you could for him

>>34593029
> not knowing how to get away from a small crime

>>34587377
Actually your kind of a dumb shit for not checking that and wasting time replacing numerous batteries instead of getting the first mouse to work.

>>34593035
Youre opinions dont matter to anyone except yourself, in case you didnt realize.
That misconception is pretty common among people with assburgers.