I don't help my family with technology. I am not a good son.

>mom gets virus
>I fix it
>she says thanks

My Mom's laptop was running very hot and very slow. I did some stuff but I cbf to uninstall some 100 programs and take it apart to clean the fans.

Get an android tablet for my grandfather with simple card and dice games loaded on.

>Visit a few months later
>Grandfather says it wasn't working and my uncle took it to get it repaired
>Visit Uncle
>His son is playing on the tablet
>"Isn't this the best birthday present ever? Though it had tons of stupid card games on it"

>Aunt buys a tablet and a wifi router
>set it up for with no problems
>few days later she wants to know why it doesn't get TV stations
>she doesn't understand that AT&T internet service doesn't include TV service just because we bought a router

>>23952240
>mom gets virus
>I fix it
>she says thanks and unzip my jeans
>she suck my penis
>i fuck her
>dad came home
>ask her what for dinner
>she cook spaghetti
fixed

>gf drops laptop, windows won't start up anymore
>mess around with it, can run live cds fine. just not windows off the hdd
>recommend a 1tb drive on newegg
>two weeks later get xubuntu live running so she can backup essential files onto my flash drive
>have her take the old drive out an put the new one in herself while watching to make sure things go in the right way around
>install windows 8 cp, mess around for a few hours in it
>fairly cumbersome to use with the trackpad
>have laughs
>install 7 ultimate
>put old firefox profile and muTorrent .torrent files and various game save datas on
>gift ~50gigs of credit on bitgamer so she can go grab the latest Sims 3 complete torrent
>go cuddle and start Welcome to the NHK

hmm not exactly horror.

oh well

>>23952397

>And then I woke up

>>23952469
I was going to suggest that we watch Dr Who or something, she's the one who insisted on chinese cartoons.

>Install Ubuntu on mothers netbook
>"It just doesn't WERK"
>Install WinXP again
>It works
I learned my lesson.

>Mom says her computer doesn't work
>ask her whats the matter
>she says it just won't go
>Ask her if there is a breach in the quantum-flux condensation chamber
>she says no
>check the device
>mfw her heisenburg aligner wasn't slotted into the phase-drive condensator

>>23952741
>bazinga!

>>23952741
Heisenberg*

>Install debian on moms netbook while i use it for a few weeks.
>she complains that it isn't working
>install ubuntu
>she likes it better than windows

>that feel when have a gf
>that feel when ive browsed 4chan for years and dont know how to greentext properly.
>that feel when gf is converted baptist to methodist.
>that feel when shes the nicest, best gf i have ever had and has sex with me all the time when i see her.
>that feel when i hate being with her with all of my will and want my ex back so badly who cheated on me with a 29 yo meat packer?????

WTF /G/

>>23952299

How does one greentext?
And why is everyone posting this > symbols?
???

>>23953135
>green text
black text

>>23953109
Sauce?

>That feel when last easter you was far away in a snowy land, miles away from a shrine, not a sound or light for miles around, the wind and heavy snow and winds battering our canvas tent, running out of food, sores from walking all day make it hard to stand, a days walk to your next town.
>That feel when it didn't matter, you had each other, you sat with your ration packs, low batteries on every device to hand (except emergency phone batteries) and sang modified lyrics to christmas songs, huddled up together in our sleeping bag, arms wrapped around each other, genuinely happy and content with only each other occupying that point in space and time, a true perfect moment that you think of when everything seems hopeless.
>MFW this year that same guy is missing in action, I'm out of the marine corps, lonely, jobless, futureless and broke living with someone who hates your guts on anti-depressants.

What a difference a year makes /g/..

>>23952211
>get dad set up on Gmail instead of of his ISP's mail so he can access it anywhere.
>install GNU/Linux with no proprietary packages on desktop
Everything went very well. He loves being able to access his personal email anywhere, and says the current os is much faster than Windows was. He also uses LibreOffice just fine, and Gnash plays his YouTube vids well.

>dad having tech support problems again
>buy him a mac
>never hear from him again
Just get'em a mac, OP. This will solve all your tech support problems

>>23953180
you aren't gonna find a job or a future on 4chan's /g/ bro

>first day of intro to compsci
>professor is using something called emacs
>stand up, call him a macfag, walk out

>>23953210
second story:
>Install Ubuntu 11.04 with proprietary drivers and Flash on my mom's laptop.
>Upgrade it to 11.10 and it performs like shit.
>Install GNOME, and set computer to use fall back mode
Not as good as it is for my dad, but she can play her Facebook games, and the other things she needs

>>23952211
Why can't niggers into technology?

All the completely retarded tech support calls I get are from niggers for simple shit. On top of it, they want me to do it for free.

Just last week some nigger invited me to their house to fix their computer, knowing my going rate of $10 if in city ($20 if outside city) + $20/hr.

They had unplugged the monitor from the back somehow (probably fell out). I also ran a virus scan (they requested) and installed MSE for them.

They saw I fixed the problem, were happy, and I charged them $10 so I could be on my way home. Then they went full nigger and said all this shit about them being poor and whatnot, can't afford food, yet I saw them roll in with an expensive car etc.

So the nigger pulls out a fucking 9mm from behind him in his closet and begins to cock it. Little does he know I am an ex-cop and have a CCW permit (concealed carry), quickly unholster my handgun, and shoot that nigger in the upper arm. This causes him to drop his gun, and call onto the floor in pain. I kick his gun away, order him to stay on the ground, and call the police while keeping my pistol aimed at him on the ground.

Police arrive in 5 minutes. Turns out he was wanted for armed robbery and attempted murder. He's now in jail for 20 years, and will probably be extended if I press charges.

Fucking niggers, why do they suck so bad at technology? Also, if this happened in Europe, I'd probably be dead by now.

>>23953372
I missed this pasta.

>install ubuntu on sisters computer

>she wants to go on netflix.

>i have no solution

>install windows 7

>grandpa calls up, computer is fucked
>he drops it off
>10,000 toolbars
>reformat
>install Arch Linux
>compile everything from source
>get superior rolling release minimal system
>force all daemons and proessces, x windows, etc required to be manually started (like they SHOULD BE)
>return laptop
>he calls up
>WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT WHAT DID U DO TO MY COMPUTER FUK U KID
Fucking old people, just die already.

I don't know many people but almost everyone I know save all their shit on their desktop.

>>23953261
His new boyfriend is fixing it for him

>>23953589
I love that pasta so much. It's funny because there's probably a neckbeard somewhere that actually did that.

>>23952397
>go cuddle
why did you not fuck her?

>Helping fix computer
>Minimize what family member was doing
>"Anon, why did you just close that window? I was using that!"

Every time. Without fail.

>>23953773
I think this is universal

>Sister has IT tech boyfriend
>Mom works on IT
>I'm soon a network tech
>Dad's a programmer
What's this Family tech support?

>get call from family friend
>says computer is stuffed
>tell him to boot it up
>says he cant because there is an ad on start up
>what does it say?
>is says gigabyte, USB 3 SATA 3
>oh wait. its gone. WTF HAPPENED? HAVE I BEEN HACKED
>mfw he was referring to the bios splash screen

>>23954063
trade families brah?

>>23953589
>grandpa

what the hell could you expect

>>23952211

this was today:

>dad
>new chinkpad z575
>wants to find some films to watch
>RT top 100
>done

then

>show him how to pin stuff to taskbar in w7
>install FF w/abp & ghostery
>delete all the obvious bloatware
>delete shitty kaspersky trial nagware
>install MSE, update it
>install MBAM, update it
>shut down

>mfw he fell asleep right next to me at some point and i never noticed

mildly sad feels were had for some reason.

>dad using old single core P4 3.2GHz machine
>really slow
>give him my old gaymen rig since I built a new one
>be Athalon II x4 @2.8GHz
>4GB RAM
>9800GTX
>massive upgrade from his old P4
>give it to him
>few days of use
>says he loves it
>he looks at the specs
>sees 2.8GHz
>flips shit since its "slower" than his 3.2GHz p4
>freaks out and starts cursing me out as a scam artist since I apparently took his p4 to use in my new computer
>over night put the althalon build in his old p4 case
>tell him its the p4
>suddenly very happy again

what the fuck

Can we expand this to be a general tech idiocy thread? I rather enjoy those

>>23954317

>dat niggahurtz myth

why not just sell it for $300-350?

>overclock dad's processor using the (unlocked) multiplier because he wants his computer to be faster
>RAM dies two months later
>WHY THE FUCK DID YOU OVERCLOCK MY MACHINE IT DESTROYED IT

>>23954317
couldn't you show him benchmarks?

>>23954389
Cause I love my father.

I could, but he would be stuck with the P4 and would continue coming to me to fix it (even though there wasnt much I could do, really).

Besides, if I sold it I could maybe get like $150

>>23954435
Most benchmarks are for da gaymen, and he would claim they are null.

He thinks you need a more powerful computer for Word than for gaming lol

>>23954317

>>23954456
>Cause I love my father

you'd better be a daughter

>>23954483
Noep. A son, but my mom walked out on us when I was young so all I ever had was him.

>>23954456

fair enough.

>>23954472

>implying he'd have any concept of what the benches mean

>>23954472
sysmark office productivity or w/e then?

>>23953372
It looks like a fucking hippo.

I don't have a horror story persay, besides from my dad getting the same virus twice

>Need a webcam for new computer
>Don't have windows partition installed yet, just Ubuntu 10.04
>Go to future shop since I need it no and can't wait for shipping
>Browsing through webcams
>Realize I don't know which ones have good compatibility with Linux Skype
>Looking it up on my phone
>Salesguy comes up to me asking if I need help
>Tell him I'm good
>Asks if I'm sure
>"Uhhh well you wouldn't know anything about Linux would you? Like which of these might be compatible?"
>He tells me that he knows about it, sure
>I'm hopeful and put my phone away
>He proceeds to go on about how it's strange that I'd want a webcam for linux, since it's all just text based and how I'm really "going to the stone age here". Suggests that I install windows instead so I can have something up to date.
>Give him kind of a weird look
>He keeps going on about their prices for windows licenses and how he's sure it would be a worth-while purchase for me if I wanted to use the webcam, since Linux doesn't have pictures and can't even use webcams when it's all text
>Tell him "Listen, I don't care if you don't know what you're talking about, but don't lie to me and pretend you do, just to spout bullshit. You should probably do some research because you're way off."
>He shuts up instantly and walks away scowling

I wish I was making that up. Also sorry because this isn't family related.

>dad has been into computers since the days of Windows 3.0
>paid the fuckhuge AOL bill I racked up when they were $3.95 per hour.
>built PCs for me & my brother
>almost 70 and still torrents like a boss.

>>23954626
>need to buy printer
>go to futureshop
>no boxes under floor model of desires Brother printer
>sales rep comes over
>says that if I want to know if they have any backstock then I would have to climb their rickety 80 foot ladder

Fuck'em.

>>23954670
>See a video gaem at Future Shop that is really cheap since it's almost discontinued, but the store that has it is 45 minutes drive away.
>Call up and ask "Do you guys do store transfers? Like if one store has an item could I get it transfered to a store closer to me?"
>"No."

What the fuck? Even the shitty bargain-bin electronics stores do store-transfers.

>>23952299

seriously?

sorry dude, that sucks.

>>23953372
I've heard that one before.

Also.

>Dad asks if I can build him a computer for ~$500
>I spend a few hours finding the best deals and parts
>Ended up being able to fit an SSD and 500gb hdd in there
>Call him on the phone and ask how he wants to pay for it
>He says "Anon, come over. I've got something cool to show you".
>I get there and he pulls out a $1200 mpb
>Get pissed because I don't have a lot of free time and he just wasted three hours
>Tell him he wasted his money
>He has a real depressing facial expression
>He takes back the mpb or sells it (I don't know what he did with it, but he got his money back).
>Gives me $800 to build a computer
>Build a fast mother fucking sandy bridge with a Samsung 830 128gb SSD and a 1080p monitor
>He's ecstatic because he's never had something so fast and so much work space

Not like he needed a laptop anyways.

>>23952616

you did it wrong.

>intern at bank of america... tech support
>inevitably get admin access
>install remote desktop viewer
>look at their financial records late at night every quarter
>insider trade the fuck out of them on days before they release earnings
>literally profit

>>23954799
mad jelly

>>23954670
>need new mouse
>sales dude comes up to me
>asks what I need
>tell him
>he asks for what
>tell him I game but I dont want a gaming mouse, they are uncomfortable
>he shows me mice
>all were either wireless or RAT series
>see Microsoft Comfort Mouse 4500 at back of shelf
>grab it
>tries to talk me out of it
>says its shit
>buy it
>as im buying, asks if I want to buy the 3 year warranty thats $9.99 on a $14.99 mouse
>laugh and dont
>go home
>greatest fucking mouse ever

stupid bestbuy

>>23953760

>Not knowing what "cuddle" means
>2011 +1

Your underage b& is showing.

>>23954867

RAT series is nice, though.. I rather like the RAT3

>>23954867
>stupid bestbuy

And people are wondering why Best Buy lost 1.7 *billion* dollars last year and are closing 70 stores.

>>23954799

how much did you make?

>>23955514
>Madcatz

>>23955586

>caring about manufacturer before using something yourself

>>23953589
>Fucking old people, just die already
You know, you'll be old someday unless you're smart and fill your skull with hot lead when you turn 60.

>>23954666
Joke's on you. Mine's been in the game since the Altair days.

>friend complains computer is slow and not working properly
>windows full of spaghetti
>reformat with dual-boot windows for apps and kubuntu for web
>stops using computer entirely

why do these people complain that windows is a piece of shit, yet do nothing to actually learn and use something better?

>>23955609
>buying a product with consistent 1 star reviews everywhere and the constant vocalization of "it stopped working!"

>>23955514
Im sorry I dont want to blow around $100 on a ridiculous and shitty looking mouse.

>>23955859

$100 where? I got mine for $35

>>23955897
Bestbuy sells it for around $100

>sister tells me her computer is slow
>I open up task manager
>no free memory available
>whole bunch of processes that look like spyware
>I tell her she's running out of memory
>"but I paid $1500 for this machine! It even said I had 802.11 gigabytes of memory!"
>I laugh and fix her computer in exchange for soiled panties

>ctrl+f "sergio"
>0 results

Wait, I thought this was /g/?

>>23955632
Old man detected. How's adult daycare going? Did you manage not to shit yourself today?

>>23955954
Sergio! Fix my computer!
Sergio! Shoot that chopper down!
Segio! Reinvent the Universe!

>>23955907

Ouch, that is a scam.

>>23955953
lolwut

>>23953210
>Gnash plays his YouTube vids well
that's a lie

>Mom be Nuclear Physicist. Knows FOURTRAN
>Dad be Pharmacist. Knows BASIC
And yet they know diddly squat on how to operate a computer.
What the fuck.

>>23956077
I hear that's actually one of the few things they've managed to make it do well.

>>23956101
Fourtran?
Is that some 4chan dickgirl?

>Minding my own business and installing OpenBSD on my router
>Mama starts yelling from downstairs
>"What is it mama?"
>"SERGIO! EL COMPUTER NO WORKO! NO GUSTA!"
>Go downstairs, find that there is taco sauce on the monitor, tostadas on the keyboard, tortillas in the optical drive, salsa in the heatsink, guacamole on the southbridge, burritos in the case fan, beans cooking on the fermi, and tacos in the PSU.
>Fuck it, I'll buy her a Mac
>Go to Apple store
>Considering purchasing an iMac
>Steve Jobs is there
>Talks to me about the iMac
>I get really hyped for the iMac
>Decide to buy it on the spot
>Reach for my wallet
>Suddenly, spaghetti spills out of my pocket
>There's spaghetti on the floor
>Everybody walk the dinosaur
>Try to clean it all up
>I look down
>There's fur in the spaghetti, leading to the realization that I am a bear

>>23955971
Underage b& detected

>>23956191
...and there it is.

>>23956191
Ain't even mad. makes me laugh every time.

>>23954626
Fucking salespersons
>Go into store 2 days before PS Vita release
>Ask "When will you get the Vita in?"
>"Excuse me let me get my manager."
>4 of the staff talking about what the Vita is.
>"Sorry sir we wont have that till 2013"
I'm fucking done.

>>23956340
>Get good grades, attend best university in my country
>Computer Science course, 5 years
>90 students
>At least 10 channers, 99% familiar with internet culture and are keen on using technology in general.

>First classes
>"A basic intro to computers"
>Professor asks "So, what do you gentlemen use as an OS?"
>Class is still somewhat shy, you can hear some people faintly shouting Ubuntu (>My face), others just shouting Windows, a /g/ guy shouting Gentoo
>4 people at front row, they're the hipster guys, oblivious to technology, computers and coding that GOD knows how they got there. 3 bitches 1 guy.
>One of dem girls raises her hand
>Coughs to sound sophisticated

>"I'm sorry, but since nobody here is adequate enough to phrase a proper answer, I'll go ahead and say that I use Internet Explorer. Yes, call me a nerd, call me outdated but it's stable and it just works"

>I stare at her.
>My new friends from left and right of me stare at her
>realise the whole amphiteatron is staring at them
>The professor himself is staring at them
>Gravely silent, all of us
>At least 30 seconds. I'm not even kidding

I can't help but laugh every time I recreate the mental image. Goddamn, it was exactly like stoning the lepre off our class.

>>23956441
not using verizon as your os
casuals man

>>23955676
>>23955716

Why do these people double post?

>>23956441

the name of the country?

>>23954063
But you are sister is horse.

>>23956697

Then who was phone?

>>23956607
Merica Smrt!

>>23956441

was she hot?

>be in english class
>class is about to watch movie off some website but it used a youtube link
>video wouldn't load even though my teacher logged into her teacher account
>hipster who was in there to learn about teaching stands up
>"I'll go get a longer ethernet cord from the office"

>>23956441
>hot girl at friends party
>comes back to my place
>sees my computer
>wow cool cpu
>I stare at her like shes giraffe at a penguin convention
>she says im sorry i cant into computers
>its okay
>now my GF
>she knows enough to not embarrass me in front of sysadmin buddies
>life is good

>>23953210
Liar. Youtube uses actionscript 3.0, Gnash doesn't even implement that.

>>23956987

What is this I don't even?

>>23953694
I wrote it. Sorry to burst your bubble but it's only for getting more posts to a tech rage thread. Kudos to the guy who always posts it.

Although now that I think about it, somewhere, somewhere out there, there is probably some raging arch faggot who did it for real, thinking he is doing them a favor or some shit.

>>23956156
>Fourtran?
>Is that some 4chan dickgirl?

my sides, they be gone

>>23956441
Those bitches you speak of got in because every American university needs a certain demographic of women in all departments or they'll get sued.

>>23957141
>mfw I'm watching youtube in firefox on linux right the fuck now
You're mother.

>>23953649
Agreed

>>23954317
>not oc'ing cpu to 3.2GHz
omgwtf

>parents computer running slow as absolute shit
>decide to backup/reformat/etc
>run a virus scan (shitty one at that, avg) for shits and giggles
>11000 (ELEVEN FUCKING THOUSAND) viruses found
>reformat it
>install firefox and set it up with abp and all that
>explain to them very carefully that this is how to use the internet now, and not to use IE
>they say ok
>hide internet explorer
>next day get a call at my apartment
>ANON WHATD U DO WITH THE INTERNET
>WHYD U CHANGE OUR COMPUTER I DONT LIKE THIS
>go back over there
>mom is on the computer using IE
>completely perplexes me, i hid it well enough so that a fucking sysadmin couldnt find it
>tell her that i told them to start using firefox
>'what?'
>finally just hide IE again, change firefox's name to "Internet Explorer" and its icon to IE's
put it on the desktop and taskbar
>never hear about it again

>Minding my own business installing Copland OS Enterprise on my liquid carbon dioxide cooled computer
>Otou-san calls from downstairs
>"What is it otou-san?"
>"LAIN! COME FIX THE WIRED!"
>I don't know what the shit happened after that. There were men shooting at stuff, wires buzzing, some shit about Schumann resonance and now the Knights of Eastern Calculus are giving me shit.
>Fuck it, I'll buy her a NAVI
>Go to the Tachibana store
>Considering purchasing a NAVI
>Eiri Masami is there
>Talks to me about Protocol 7
>I get really hyped for Protocol 7
>Decide to make use of it on the spot
>Reach for my HandNAVI
>Suddenly, spaghetti spills out of my pocket
>There's spaghetti on the floor
>Everybody walk the dinosaur
>Try to clean it all up
>I look down
>There's fur in the spaghetti, leading to the realization that I'm in a bear suit
This is the kind of shit I have to put up with every day.

>dad refuses to use firefox
that's about it

>>23953912
>>23953773
my rage is infinite

>>23952299
What did you say to your uncle? Fuck this makes me pissed just reading it.

>>23954739
Respect

>>23956441
>that feel when ubuntu peasant

>>23953574
Virtual box faggot.

>>23954063
Oh god I wish...

Here's one that literally just happened.
My Fiancee called me from her friend's house:

>Hey, Kristina just spilled coffee in her laptop keyboard, and it turned itself off
Okay, pull out the battery.
>Should she shut it back off first?
She turned it back on!?
>Yeah, she needs to write a paper for her class
Jesus! Turn it off now!
>But she doesn't know if it saved her work
Okay, but tell her that water is instant death for any laptop, and it is never covered under any non-full warranty. Does she really want to risk permanently breaking her laptop?
>Well, it's okay now
Baby, liquids spread. Directly below the wet keyboard is the motherboard and all of the important, expensive, irreparable parts. If ANY amount of liquid touches any of that, her only options will be buying a new laptop, or paying a $400 repair charge.
>*relays this information to Kristina*
...
Is she shutting it off?
>She's checking with Dell about her warranty
She should probably call them anyway
>No, she's emailing them
...Just as long as you guys know I tried.

I'm still waiting to hear back

>>23959773
>change firefox's name to "Internet Explorer" and its icon to IE's

what a great idea,

>>23960109
>Females and technology

I dont these type of threads but i some faggot use mutorrent

>>23960186
A
PEACEBONE
GOT
FOUND
IN
THE
DINOSAUR
WING

>>23960109
>Okay, but tell her that water is instant death for any laptop
Uh, no. If it were just (distilled) water, it'd probably fine if she let it dry. Coffee however is acidic enough to present an issue. She should have rinsed it out with water and let it dry.

>Family makes me fix computers
>Get Viruses as usual
>Fix it a bunch of times , happens again in like a month.
>Tell them everytime I have to fix something , they're taking me out to eat.
>I can easily eat 75$ worth of good food myself
>Happens once or twice more
>never again.

>>23960198
She's computer retarded.
Do you think it's really a good idea to tell her that it might be okay to allow any contact between her crappy Dell and any liquid?
Especially now, right after she spilled coffee into it?
No. I'd rather her just not fuck with it, and let me come over and fix it later.

>>23960262
>letting me fix it

What are you going to do tell them not to touch it and let it dry? You sound like a massive douche

>>23960262
>Do you think it's really a good idea to tell her that it might be okay to allow any contact between her crappy Dell and any liquid?
It's still a better idea than letting coffee sit in there.
>fix it later.
If it's been like that for any length of time - good luck with that.

>Stop scrolling so fast, I can't read it!

>gets tired of having to fix virus, remove toolbars and shit on moms and sisters laptops
>install ubuntu on them, setup ssh servers so I can remote configure and set everything up when needed
>everything just werkz

Well that went better than expected, all I had to do was put a shortcut on the desktop named "INTERNET" which was a symlink to Firefox.

>>23960327
>>23960291
She apparently shut it back off, turned off the battery, and left it open and upside down like I told her to.
I told her what she should do to prevent damage (remove the keyboard panel and clean it with alcohol), but they both feel uncomfortable about removing any parts, so they want to either just use it as is, or wait for me. I told them to wait for me, even though I can't get there for a few days. What else could I do?

>Dads laptop
>IE 7 keeps crashing
>Install firefox, tell him to use it
>No problems for eternity

I don't understand. My dad even installed it by himself when I upgraded his laptop to Windows 7.

I had to turn the computer off for my dad the other day.
he doesn't into technolo/g/y

>>23954063
>Information Technology Tech

>Friend comes to me for tech advice.
>He needs to reinstall OSX because his current install is corrupted.
>I take a look at the macbook and start to get to work.
>Later on, I ask why his Mac has a bunch of pictures of some random blond chick.
>He then tells me the comp is stolen.
>Shit my pants the next day when I find out he was questioned by the police.
>Wipe my drives and flee to the next state because my prints are on the macbook too.
>I meet up with another friend of mine.
>I end up in a holding cell the next day because it turns out all of my friends are snich bitches.

>Parents computer has viruses

>Blame IE because of corse

>Force them to use firefox

>Now they'll use 4times the resources and get to experience what a memory leak is while they get virsus


>I belong on this board.
I hate everyone here.

>>23960614
>implying that forbidding people to use IE isn't a legitimate way to prevent virusses
At least it was a few years ago

>>23953773
>anon can I use the computer?
sure you can!
>closes what I was doing

>>23960666
It still is. I find Chrome to be a good recommendation for those in my family who are not as privacy-oriented and enjoy the Google account integration.

>>23960692
firefox works better
people find square tabs easier or something

I had to teach my mom how to add music to iTunes like four times before it stuck. I don't even know, man. Apparently dragging and dropping it in is beyond her ability to comprehend.

Other than that, no significant issues.

>Everyone gets windows security 2012 virus
Always some kind of adware on the machine too.

Sometimes I say this when frustrated:
"From the looks of this, I'd say that hackers have your credit card number. I should delete everything to stop them from using it."
And then I delete the adware and set their docs to hidden
>tfw

>Mom's computer won't boot without going into BSOD
>Put in Xubuntu LiveCD
>Boots fine
>Backup all files and install Xubuntu
>She likes it
>Downstairs watching TV
>ANONY! HOW DO I GET TO THE GAMES AGAIN?!
>GO TO THE GAMES SECTION IN THE "START MENU"
>she can't find it
>Go upstairs, and see she's looking for it in Thunar
>Change default XFCE icon to rainbow one and label it "Start Menu"
>Everything went better than expected
>Mfw my mom likes using Linux

>>23960686
>wanting to borrow dads laptop for interwebs while he's surfing
>dad: wait a second, I'm...
>open new tab
>didn't close what he's doing
>HHHHHMMMMMMM????!!!!!

>>23954666
Reminds me of my friends dad who pirated games at his work place when we were kids. Then he showed how to install those. My friend had a decent computer with 3dfx Voodoo gpu and gaming was fun. They were good times.

>>23960686
Every time. Although I've taught my parents to just use Chromium instead and leave my Firefox session alone.

Not family, but...
>in lecture
>some guy on his laptop using ubuntu in front of me
>he doesn't have GRUB on the MBR, he uses some windows OS choice screen, and selecting Ubuntu in that menu takes him into GRUB
>boots into ubuntu
>opens up a terminal
>starts typing at about 30 wpm, thankfully using tab-completion
>ls
>cd Documents
>ls
>cd some_other_dir
>ls
>mkdir new_dir
>cd new_dir
>ls
>emacs new_file.txt

>Older sister has laptop
>I installed chrome for simple ui
>everytime I open it
>5 windows, 30+tabs each
>Chrome and IE both open
>50+tabs in IE
>CPU usage and 95%+
>Ram at 2.7gb/3gb

She says she will sort through them each night but I never see it last more than a few hours

>>23953315
every time

>>23959805
Damn you, I spat on my monitor. Why didn't you change the last part? That always makes me laugh, but it caught me off guard this time.

>>23955301
Wait, cuddle means something other than 'wrap your arms around and pretend to show
affection so your mommy doesn't send you to the clinic again'? Shit man, I' behind the times.

>>23960561
Kill them all.

>>23962485
Oh wow.

Wubi, not even once.

>put Ubuntu on all family PCs
>explain which programs are alternatives to programs XYZ and how to use the dash to find anything
>no more problems

>>23955674
HOREY SHET

>>23955674
>good
>better
>best
My father worked as a code monkey on early DEC PDP systems. He toggled bootloader code into the front panels from memory.

>>23962676
My father once toggled an entire operating system of his own design into a computer of his own design through its front-panel switches. In octal. Without an error. And it worked.

>>23959773
>>23960144
holy fuck thats a fantastic idea
thankfully my mom got used to chrome, I replaced it with chromium one day, she didnt even notice.

>>23962721
Discrete TTL logic or a microprocessor?

>>23962736
Discrete TTL logic

>mother logs on
>starts ff
>her computer is beyond bloat, but every time i remove it she re downloads it, so i dont try anymore
>anon why is it not working
>wait mum
>open 30 copies of ff
>they all start at once in 2 minutes
>anon why are so many open
>close them mum
>but why are there so many?
>because you opened them mum

also

>dad trying to open a pdf
>literally screams "what the bloody fuck" when adobe begins to start
>whats wrong dad
>its taking so long!
>wait dad
>opens the pdf 30 more times
>they all start at once in 2 minutes
>anon why are so many open
>close them dad
>but why are there so many?
>because you opened them dad

why do my parents do this, and more importantly, why do they ring me?

>>23963025
>mum
>what the bloody fuck

How's Australia?

>>23960436
Tell them to give it an alcohol bath and let it dry for a week.

>>23963053
not too bad, apart from high price of living, thanks for asking

>>23959328
Fortran*
Fucking newbs. Fourtran? What the actual fuck.

>>23953210
Use the HTML5 player, youtube respects your freedom.

>younger
>living with parents
>Fagit modem setup cd set the wifi key to WEP
>give the heads up to family they will need to set their tech again to it
>Decide to change to WPA2
>father loses a nut, claiming its some sort of scam that microsoft got me to upgrade to (he has no tech knowledge)
>takes the modem and puts it in the drawer he sleeps next to
I would post a reaction image to show how disgruntled i was but i'm on my notebook and waiting on a keyboard to arrive.

>mom applying to a job online
>writing an email with thunderbird
>cannot decide to attach cover letter or put it in email body
>"anon what do you do"
>"it doesnt really matter all that much..."
>she decides to put it in the body
>"anon, how do I attach my resume?"
>for those unfamiliar with thunderbird, there is a xbox heug "Attach" button, complete with paperclip picture
>she is applying for an office job
>tell her that she should read what is on the screen before asking questions like that, especially if she is at a new office job. it could make her seem stupid / cost her her job
>"anon why are you so mean to me"
>mfw

>>23963150
Holy shit, I was trying to find an appropriate reaction image for your situation, but I couldn't, no image can describe how fucking angry I am right now.

>post on facebook that I have a new computer.
>post from female cousin
>"Thats kewl, what color is it?"

>that feel

>>23963368
>posting on facebook that you have a new pc

Why would someone do this?

>>23963590
>having a Facebook account at all
Why would someone do this?

>>23963629
just cus u have no friends doesnt mean i got none

>>23953084
sounds like your just a cock gobbling cum dump that is a shitty person.

>Build mum a new desktop.
>fuck gfx card is fucked and I'm only home for 2days
>rma'd it anyway
>talk mum through installation two weeks later
>everything works

I love not having a retarded family.

>cousin posts on fb she got a job at best buy
>geek squad
>picture of her in huge hipster glasses and talking in the comments saying "i'm such a nerd!"
>she doesn't even know the difference between an OS and a web browser
>still masturbate furiously to the pics

>>23963634
>2012
>dealing with your friends on facebook
A cell phone is all you need

>show dad how to transfer photos from his camera to computer
>drag and drop from the card to the desktop
>enjoy, look at, burn to CD, whatever
>rename and move to archives
>come back a year later
>desktop has 100,000s of files on it
>headdesk

>>23963177
You're a fucking prick son. You know that?

>>23963748
Different guy but, it's an office job.
Why apply for one if you can't use a simple mail client?
Oh well, I'd love her at my office. I could sit there all day instead of doing actual tech support doing bullshit.

>mom skypes me, turns on screen sharing
>I tell her where to click
>problem solved

>>23963724
would read again

>>23963787
Sigh... Not every employer has as high of standards as you OCD ass pies. Ever think of that? Just about any idiot with a pulse can get a generic McCubicle job if your interview goes right, or you are recommended by a current employee. Why be mean to your mother just because her qualifications are lower than your ideal standards for what you imagine the job she's applying to has? Teach her how to do what she can't, and hope that she learns quickly. She's come this far in life.

>>23963802
>using skype

>>23963832
We's use FaceTime, but it doesn't have screen sharing.

>>23963748
I don't see how, the exact wording was something like:
Me: 'there is a button that says attach right here, you should look read whats on the screen before asking simple questions'.
Mom: 'why are you so mean to me?'
Me: 'you're going to be expected to do this in an office job...'

>>23963827
The dude who posted that said he wasn't the same guy. I know because I am the original guy. Learn you read, fuck. Also, I'm not really sure 'teach' applies here. "How do I attach X?" "Press 'Attach' ". If you cant match letters and symbols, you're pretty useless in an office. Its like my parents lose all common sense when they sit in front of the computer.

>>23952211

Not family, encountered this during employment:

>Guy in his late 40s comes in, "I downloaded a bunch of pictures and my computer crashed how do I get them back?"
>I interpret "crash" as the hard disk has failed after getting him to explain what he means
>Tell him to use his backup, of course he doesn't have one
>Only option is data recovery specialist, will cost several hundred
>"My computer is less than a year old blah blah, this is ridiculous, I shouldn't need to backup"
>mfw
>He goes on a stupid tangent about how "young guys like you don't understand computers, I've been using them since you were born"
>"All you young guys don't know how to program, we had to learn it, you can't fix anything blah blah, I've been programming for years blah blah"
>Tell him he is in fact mistaken and I can program in several languages
>I sense he is about to say something classic so I ask him what languages he can program in
>His response "english"
MY FUCKING FACE

>>23963944
had it picked from "All you young guys don't know how to program"
>i still lol'd

>>23963832
problem wit Skype? I hardly use it, are there alternatives?

>>23963827
>high standard
>attaching a file by pressing the attach button

>>23963892
>I don't see how, the exact wording was something like: [...]
If you think exact wording is the only important factor in social interactions, then you're in trouble. Tone, facial expression, conversational cues, body language - these are but a few of the things you are missing.

>The dude who posted that said he wasn't the same guy. I know because I am the original guy. Learn you read, fuck
Sigh, again. I can read. The "you" in my post was meant in the indefinite sense. Although that has the potential to be misinterpreted, somebody replying who shares your point of view shouldn't feel it too odd to be grouped with you (the original idiot).

>"How do I attach X?" "Press 'Attach' "
That's called teaching. It's how knowledge is passed from person to person.

>Its like my parents lose all common sense when they sit in front of the computer.
It's a skill, like any other. If we were to sit you in front of a device you were unfamiliar with, you would likely act the same.

>>23964000
>mfw this is really what you think

You'd be surprised at the standards of 90% of the people in the world outside your mother's basement.

>>23963971
There are no real alternatives. That's why it pisses me off so much. It's such a piece of shit, and updates, some required for full functionality, do not help it. But I'm forced to use it because what else is there?

>>23964020
>standards of 90% of the people
>people

>>23964031
Enjoy never earning any real money.

>>23963728
>desktop has 100,000s of files on it
How could your dad afford that big screen?

>>23964040
Most people work for companies, not people.

>>23964020
>ad hominem

You lose. Try again.

>>23964043
I don't know, but he apparently just kept buying a bigger and bigger screen. By the time I found him and stopped his out-of-control upgrading, he had requisitioned the 52" flat screen TV out of the family room into his office.

>>23964047
>implying you don't still live with your mother

Good one, dude!

>>23964010

The problem in this case was not the fact that she was "unfamiliar" with computers, but rather seemingly unable to read

>>23964010
>That's called teaching. It's how knowledge is passed from person to person.
She is applying for a office job, where you are expected to do a job. When you apply for a job, you should have the skills required and know to do that job properly. People having to explain simple stuff like, attaching a file is quite unacceptable. It's like a builder asking how to hammer in a nail.

>>23964045
What does that have to do with what I said? How do you think your application to the company gets read? How do you think current employees are supervised? Or evaluated and fired?

>>23964070
Swing and a miss. Keep trying.

>>23964087
> When you apply for a job, you should have the skills required and know to do that job properly.

Says you. You are not in charge of her interview.

>>23964087
>When you apply for a job, you should have the skills required and know to do that job properly.
I used to think so too.
Now I understand why 'entry level jobs' exist.

>>23964088
>How do you think your application to the company gets read?
It goes through a filter before HR department ever gets it, and HR department has it go through another filter before handing it off too the hiring manager.

>>23964105
>thinks an entry level job is a job where they teach you everything
haha wow.

>>23964124
>he thinks its now

>>23964121
what the fuck. whoever told you all of that was lying to you, kid.

ITT: unemployed college students and unemployable aspies discuss why they don't have a job.

>>23964124
no no
see
they don't teach you anything anywhere
they just go by work experience

>>23964133
>>23964133
>what the fuck. whoever told you all of that was lying to you, kid.
I am in America, this is the norm for any job that is 40k per year or less.
How is bizarro america?

>>23964133
>>he thinks its now
what

>>23964010

>if you think exact wording is the only important factor in social interactions, then you're in trouble.
Except, I don't. At all. Because I never said that. Were you expecting me to tell you my tone, describe my facial expression, etc. ? Is that commonly done over text? I was under the impression it was inferred from context if you weren't retarded. Dat strawman, mang.

>It's a skill, like any other. If we were to sit you in front of a device you were unfamiliar with, you would likely act the same.
You are assuming the computer is unfamiliar to her. That is also kind of insulting, if I knew I needed to [verb] and knew how to select thing, pretty sure I could make to jump to selecting [verb].

>Why be mean to your mother ...
>The "you" in my post was meant in the indefinite sense.
Yeah, ok, whatever you say pal.

>Both mom and dad used to work in IT
>Never have to fix anything

>>23955580
>Best Buy lost 1.7 *billion* dollars last year and are closing 70 stores.

Dear god, is this real? Let it be so!

>>23964171
>Dat strawman, mang.
That is not a strawman. It's a comment on why your conversation with your mother probably went south.

>You are assuming the computer is unfamiliar to her. That is also kind of insulting,
Except it is. Because she can't attach a file to an email. Time to wake the fuck up and realize that everybody isn't exactly like you.

>>23964171
>Yeah, ok, whatever you say pal.
This is a strawman. And,
>>23963827
>Not every employer has as high of standards as you OCD ass pies
>you OCD ass pies
>ass pies
>pies
>s
Now stop being an idiot.

>>23955907
http://www.bestbuy.com/site/searchpage.jsp;jsessionid=F897F5FD4AC6113C994775F37AC7EB90.bbolsp-app04-
39?_dyncharset=ISO-8859-1&_dynSessConf=-2584386536997932907&id=pcat17071&type=page&s
t=rat3&sc=Global&cp=1&nrp=15&sp=&qp=&list=n&iht=y&usc=All+Categories
&ks=960

>>23964189
aren't they mostly in the UK?

or was that the 50 stores they closed down a while ago?

>>23964171
>claims he doesn't think exact wording is important
>goes on to use exact wording to imply the person he's replying to is an idiot

I just want to reach through my monitor, grab you by the collar, and shake you so hard the stupid goes away.

>>23964206
I suggest you look up the definition of strawman. You attributed a point to me and refuted it, but I never made said point.

I was also unaware that you were in a position to tell me how familiar my mother is with a computer. Are you somehow monitoring my family? I was under the impression this image board was anonymous. Case in point: She has been using the computer (and thunderbird) for several years.

This still stands:
>Why be mean to your mother ...
>The "you" in my post was meant in the indefinite sense.
Yeah, ok, whatever you say pal.

You certianly seem upset of some anonymous persons anecdote. Were you mean to your mother at some point, then she died, and now you regret it? tell me your feels.

>You certianly seem upset of some anonymous persons anecdote. Were you mean to your mother at some point, then she died, and now you regret it? tell me your feels.
What's the correct name for this in an argument?

>>23964449

>>23964047

>>23964273
>not understanding what a strawman is
You're trying to say that your attack on your mother was justified, correct? I thought so. Your strawman is your little attack on me. You say that because I was ambiguous in my post as to who I was referring to, you were therefore justified in being rude to your mother. Brilliant.

>This still stands
Have you never heard of the generic "you" or are you just trying to save face?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Generic_you

>>23964489
It's not an ad hominem. Ad hominems are very rare on 4chan, but everyone loves to use the term for some reason.

>>23964559
Actually I believe it is.

>>23964559
>Ad hominems are very rare on 4chan
I'm going to have you disagree with you because you're a faggot.
>>23964489
I don't think that's quite right. I'm looking for something that specifically refers to this sort of armchair psychology.

>>23964534
I never said "attack", among other things. dat strawman, mang.

And are you really saying you were using the generic form of "you" and then go on to say "your" mother. Like I said, whatever you say pal.

I'm also going to assume you dropped those pesky other issues because you were completely wrong.

If they don't take my advice don't complain when shit goes wrong or you have buyers remorse. I act like a complete technology dumbass around friend and family

>>23964579
http://plover.net/~bonds/adhominem.html

He concluded from the guy's argument that he was mean to his mother at some point, etc. In order for it to be an ad hominem, it needs to be the other way around. The reason why ad hominems are rare on 4chan is because most people are anonymous. Ad hominems aren't really possible if you don't know anything about the person. In fact, the most common ad hominem on 4chan is something like this:

You're a tripfag, therefore your argument is invalid.

>>23964585
It seems like its just picking an issue the other party seems be unusually attached to and asking patronizing questions about it to try and hit a nerve or get a rise out of them. Trolling in its purest form.

>>23954707
They'll do it, but not for a cheap game.

>>23954799

>>23964593
>I never said "attack", among other things.
Which changes things how?

>dat strawman, mang.
You still don't understand this word.

>And are you really saying you were using the generic form of "you" and then go on to say "your" mother.
Yes, that's how it works.

>I'm also going to assume you dropped those pesky other issues because you were completely wrong.
I ignored a few of the most idiotic things you wrote because they didn't deserve a reply.

>>23964617
>is something like this:
that's actually very precise.

the other thing you see is "you know nothing", which is not considered ad-hominem.

and of course aggressive guessing. fat comes to mind.

>>23964617
It's possible to understand a series of posts as the acts of a single individual, and therefore build a picture of their character, which you can then proceed to attack. Anonymous doesn't mean we don't know who we're talking to. You talk like it's your first day here.

>>23964617
>
>He concluded from the guy's argument that he was mean to his mother at some point, etc.

I don't think this is the ad hominem people were referring to. The initial poster said that his mother actually said, and I quote
>"anon why are you so mean to me"
There is very little inferring going on here. These are the fact that the initial poster chose to present.

He was then replied to by someone who told him he was a prick son. There then ensued a little defensiveness and continued name-calling.

The ad hominem under question is the prick son calling his critic a retard for mistaken identity in one of his replies. Please try to follow along.

>>23964674
...
...
...*


*I ignored a few of the most idiotic things you wrote because they didn't deserve a reply.

And that is how I was completely right on every point. You sure do suck at this, pal.

>>23963827
>high standards
>able to attach something to an email

>>23964809
filename.jpg

>>23963827
Pretty much this. In the company I work for I swear to god you're hired to work with a computer everyday for 9 hours so long as you can smash your face on the keyboard.

>>23964832
How can there be people without a job, then?

I don't live in the US, but I'd love an office job like that.
I don't know how many companies actually do in-house training, but they usually require some sort of "business education".
I went to a high school that qualified me for science shit, but I'm pretty sure I could deal with office-level type of paperwork without too much trouble.

People who can't attach stuff to emails?
How do they even breathe in this world?

>>23964579
Actually it's this.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i1LdGWxVmjA

>>23964825
You get what you give, pal.

>>23964893
There are many kinds of jobs out there. Not all are to big tech firms. Holy shit, why do I even have to spell this out for you people?

>>23955514
Rat series is shit. I owned a rat7 for months and sold it dirt cheap because I hated that shit. G9x is far superior

>>23964898
>implying that you asking if my mother died unpleasantly is worth replying to

If I could will you dead, I would.

>>23964931
Well, I guess that makes you a worse person than me, pal.

Although I seem to have hit a nerve :3

>every post in this thread
10/10

>Dad builds computer while I'm a kid
>Easily impressed
>10 years later look back in retrospect
>It didn't have any sort of upgraded GPU so there was no use for a whole fucking gig of RAM since it ran Win98
>He used AOL even though we had an ISP and could just use IE
>Fucking pants on head retarded
>Show him my rig with dual-monitors, 16G RAM, hexa-core processor, 6970 2GB GFX running Gentoo w/ a TilingWM and all CLI programs
>He has no clue wtf I just said and replied with "Yeah, well I built a computer back in '72 and used to go on BBS
>Call him out on his bluff
>Never talks to me again

It's not hard to build computers or install operating systems. I was a wee lad playing on Win95 and Win98. My dad is one of the few men who are smart enough to put parts in the right slot but retarded enough to not know anything else.

>>23965005
>:3

Reported.

>>23965128
You made the face angry, almost as mad as...

You!
YYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

/g/ i need some quick clarification.
i have a seagate brand 500gb external and i formatted it to NTFS. Ive also taken it out of both its cases and removed the USB conversion chip(whatever the fuck its called). Now my question is this...
If I were to swap the current SATA drive in my laptop (Toshiba L455-s5000 by the way), swap the mounting bracket to the other SATA drive, and then put that drive into the laptop, could i install an OS onto it?

Pic unrelated of course... please and thank you is in order...

>>23965341
>not understanding the dynamics of 4chan

>>23952211
>come to my folks' house one weekend
>find dad on their old prebuilt, banging the mouse loudly
>2 minutes later
>"What the hell's wrong with you?!"
>"The damn web won't load!"
>"k"
>Stare at the browser
>AOL Desktop
>Jimmies indirectly rustled
>"I'm not gettin' the page to work, y'know?"
>"Sureeeee.... You need help, don't you?"
>"Just get the damn thing to work."
>Bitch, bitch, bitch
>Ccleaner, defrag, internet options, delete AOL from existence, etc.
>Open up case insides
>DUST_BOWL.jpg
>Clean out 2 pounds of pure dust, find only fan on the system scorched to hell
>Speedfan CPU temps went from 55 on idle to the 40's
>Reboot, it's still running Vista
>2012
>Comes back to see what I did
>Running a lot better
>He flips out when I load Chrome like staring into the fabric of time
>"WHAT IS THIS?"
>"It's the INTERNET."
>I already had the one internet explorer, I'm not paying for another one! How much did it cost?"
>MOTHER OF GOD, YOU CANNOT BE THIS DAMN STUPID
>"There are tons of internet browsers dad, they're all freeware."
>Take dad to the page he wanted, show him how to use it, leave him to his fail
>Come back a week later, mom's figured out how to use Chrome extensions and Ccleaner
>Dad's banging mouse again, come to check up on the patient
>He got AOL Desktop installed again, ARE YOU FUCKING SERI---

TL;DR, dad is beyond help.

the fuck? this thread is still alive