>mfw i just heard the news

Apple can finally die now

We can only wish.

I honestly expected him to just die on the job.

he should of stayed in charge and make the company find a cure for whatever he has

Yeah I heard the news

FINALLY!

It's over, Apple is finished

>>19603050
Actually scratch that.

"CUPERTINO, Calif.-(BUSINESS WIRE)-To the Apple Board of Directors and the Apple Community:

I have always said if there ever came a day when I could no longer meet my duties and expectations as Apple's CEO, I would be the first to let you know. Unfortunately, that day has come.

I hereby resign as CEO of Apple. I would like to serve, if the Board sees fit, as Chairman of the Board, director and Apple employee.

As far as my successor goes, I strongly recommend that we execute our succession plan and name Tim Cook as CEO of Apple.

I believe Apple's brightest and most innovative days are ahead of it. And I look forward to watching and contributing to its success in a new role.

I have made some of the best friends of my life at Apple, and I thank you all for the many years of being able to work alongside you.

Steve"

Holy shiet. To the stock market?

http://www.isstevejobsdead.com/

there is your answer

Woah.

Guess his butt cancer is really acting up.

at least be subtle
its too obvious

http://finance.yahoo.com/news/Steve-Jobs-Resigns-as-CEO-of-bw-19285464.html?x=0&.v=1

>Apple designs Macs, the best personal computers in the world,
>the best personal computers in the world

i lol'd so fucking hard

no shit hipster journalists are using macs

>>19603114

he's not dead

he resigned as CEO

watch the share price drop to 320

Dammit, I thought he died. Stop getting my hopes up.

http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=1218277

I think this thread will yield some amusement tonight.

>>19603159
It's a good sign in the right direction.

ahahahaha ass dickings

>Tim Cook as CEO
Rainbow iPhone 5!!

>>19603162
>No!!!!!!!! We will miss you Steve. Literally crying right now kinda.

lol the stock price went up
wait
WAT!!!
stevejobs leaves. some reason the confidence of the company goes up.

I need more sites like this.

ITT: 14-year-olds who will never achieve 1/1,000,000th what Jobs has

Bwaahahaha

iResign

>>19603159
>Dammit, I thought he died. Stop getting my hopes up.

Soon, young one, soon.

I guess now you can say he's Steve unemployed. Am I rite?

I guess Steve is out of the Job...s.

>>19603228
Thank god.

Thank FUCK I sold my AAPL calls at 3 pm.

He's going to still be on the board so he's still going to be with the company. We won't be rid of him till he dies. Luckily they waited till after the stock markets closed to announce this because tomorrow is going to be SELL SELL SELL, they'll probably lose enough to where they ask him to come back.

>>19603220
>kinda

I don't want to live on this planet.jpg

i heard it here first on /g/

>>19603236
see
>>19603220

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA MACFAGS

>>19603221

>18:49
>Stock markets closed

GLORIOUS, GLORIOUS NEWS

>Steve Jobs has resigned as CEO of Apple.

Oh my.

Unfortunately his replacement Tim Cook seems to be as big of a d-bag as Jobs was.

>read thread
>oh boy /b/ is hurfing the durf again
>goto reuters for shits
>it's actually true

up vote this comment if you heard this on reddit first

>>19603243
>>19603244
Regular comedians on this site.

iChemo

>>19603228

He was a Jew and you know it.

Ehh disowned his daughter, Lisa, and his former wife like a total douche.

Took advantage of retards like yourself. Stole a kidney from a 17 year old kid. Drove workers in China to have mass suicide, etc, etc.

>>19603221

The market is closed, you ignoramus. It didn't go up.

This week gets better and better.

Note to self: Learn to short sell stock.

>>19603092
>It's over, Apple is finished
Its over, now Apple will stop sucking so hard

Fixed for you

I can't wait for Apple to die now

inb4 iPhone 5 has full flash support

>>19603275
>/b/

Technology has lost the pioneer of technology that has changed the way the world has witness technology and gadgets. Thank you steve jobs, you have made my life so much better with your products and may you retirement go well

>>19603269
AAPL trades after hours. It's been halted you moron.

>>19603139
that's an apple press release, fuckwad

No more "aluminum shiny innovation", I guess.

>>19603162
>I hope you will be well Steve. Thank you for your huge contribution to our world. Very sad to see you leave Apple. Again.
What contribution(s) are they referring to? The growth and success of Starbucks?

>>19603293
>>19603269

These people are correct.

inb4 AAPL plummets tomorrow

>>19603323
I don't think you know what a CEO is.

>mfw the Woz takes over.

iOS confirmed for opened source with Full Flash support.

>people thinking Apple will be better now

>mfw absolutely nothing changes, Apple keeps on crushing the competition and every /g/fag will be left crying tears of impotence like they always do.

He accomplished more then everyone ITT, even made Pixar after he was first kicked out of Apple.

A great business man.

>>19603346
>Woz takes over
>Apple is bankrupt a month later

Blowing my cash in Apple products right now.

You'll be missed, Steve. thanks for everything.

>>19603346
>open sourced
>Flash support
Pick one.
Honestly, if there's one thing Apple have done right, it's dropping support for Flash. And even then they did it for all the wrong reasons...

>>19603346
>Woz takes over
>Somehow, the CEO pay goes to Jobs

I bet he was coughing up blood from a hospital bed when he wrote his resignation letter.

>>19603346
That is the kind of dreaming I could get behind

>not selling your apple stock tomorrow
ISHYGDDT

>>19603357
Apple doesn't need to be better. It needs to die, just like cancer ridden Steve will pretty soon.

Lol at the macrumors thread.
http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=1218277

>>19603383
>not BUYING AAPL tomorrow

Seriously, it's going to get very low and swing back up.

>>19603096
Markets are closed. Clever move. Can't wait to see what AAPL opens at. Who bets on "<$100"?

>CEO leaves
>market shits the bed
>people crying

Fucking macfags.

meanwhile in china, foxconn puts all workers on suicide watch

>>19603291
>>Took advantage of retards like yourself. Stole a kidney from a 17 year old kid. Drove workers in China to have mass suicide, etc, etc.

Durr I get all my Apple news from Perez Hilton

>>19603409
>implying they aren't already

OH LORD THE STICKIES ARE GONE YES.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

CAN'T WAIT FOR MY APPLE GAYMEN MACS

oh shit sticky son

>>19603346
>mfw
>Woz makes OSX available to all hardware companies
>iOS becomes opened source
>Flash support for iOS
>Steve Jobs dies of Aids
>Woz crying at funeral
>Realizing his is actually a bear
>Spaghetti fall out of his pocket
>Everyone walk the dinosaur

SIX MONTHS INTO THE FUTURE:

STEVE JOBS HAS PASSED AWAY AFTER HIS BATTLE WITH CANCER

>>19603406

Time to buy AAPL stock tomorrow.

>Woz takes over
>OSX now works on all computers
>Apple no longer makes Macs/Macbooks
>Apple signs contracts with laptop manufacturers to sell laptops with their OS
>Apple is now on par with Microsoft

IT'S ONLY A MATTER OF TIME, GENTS. HIS END IS NEAR.

>>19603406
Worse than Nintendo fags.

WE MACINTOSH NOW

>>19603419
OH FUCK. THE WORLD I KNOW IS CRUMBLING AROUND MY EYES.

It's over, Apple is finished

- Posted with my iCock

>>19603035
Thanks for brightening my day :)

>>19603414

Who the fuck is Perez Hilton?

HP gave Steve Jobs cancer. Touchpad firesale killed his resolve.

ARE MODSATROLLING?

>>19603447
You dissing nintendo? Come at me bro

Gotta get a the mac before the next nosedive.

>>19603432

>>19603437
Good call. Stock will plummet, and as soon as the new iPhone comes out It'll climb right back up

>stickied

>Woz takes over
>only change is every apple product now comes with a DVD of him on Dancing With the Stars

>get home from long day at school in 5th grade
>make snack
>go on macrumors.com
>burst into treats

>Next Macs will use Bulldozer
>Mac OS Y available to the mass
>Next Macbook Pro will be built with ABS & Magnesium roll cage body
>Apple buys Lenovo

I'm going to stop taking shits and just build them up. Then when he finally dies I'm going to find his grave and take the biggest shit of my life over his cancer-ridden corpse.

>>19603228
>-sent from my iPhone

u mad

Still waiting for him to croak. Is this new guy going to be just as bad or will he be at least slightly better?

You know what to do /b/rothas and le/g/ionaries.

OK guys, which one of you did this ???

also thread is stickyed

>Woz refuses to take over
>"I can't compete with those geniuses at HP"

>>19603522
No. Fuck off.

<iframe width="420" height="345" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/G0FtgZNOD44" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

:'(

steve blowjobs

>>19603517

Maybe Apple can now get back to being a computer company, not a phone company.

Make sure to buy Apple stock tomorrow folks. They will take a pounding when the markets open and bounce back when they realise that he is not the messiah.

Shares of Apple (AAPL) have droppd 10% in the past hour

>>19603511
>burst in treats
got another box of dragon dildos in the mail?

AAPL resumes trading - down 5%

stupid captcha reset

>>19603522
Report you?
Already done.

>>19603527
http://www.hpandwoz.com/

I don't think they'll hire him.

this sucks, now who are going to troll if apple dissapears

Posting in a sticky.

Fuck, I was hoping he'd stick around to announce the iPhone 5. Godspeed in your recovery, Steve! You and the Macintosh made me the man I am today.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G0FtgZNOD44

"high-end gaemen mac with windows for $500 coming next month"
-- Tim Cock

Just saw this on BBC, I was expecting a sticky of this.

:3

>mfw sticky

>resigned
FUCK YOU /g/ I thought he was dead..

>>19603517

That's what Steve Jobs did waiting to reign in the computer market over Windows. He held his shit for two decades and now he has ass cancer.

>Implying this will change anything

Meet the new boss, same as the old boss.

So what will Woz wear when announcing the iPhone 5?
Khaki shorts?

Worker conditions must be improving over at foxcon I assume.

>protest funeral with GOD HATES MACS signs

Reuters Top News
FLASH: Apple shares fall 7 percent after CEO Jobs announces resignation

SHIT I HAVE TO SELL ALL MY APPLE STOCKS


MY HIPSTER CRED!!!

I ignored this thread for about 10 minutes, wouldn't even have known except that I checked NYTimes.com for unrelated reasons

good job conditioning me into not ever taking you say seriously, /g/

STICKIED

LONG LIVE MICROSOFT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YOU FOOLS

THIS IS ALL A TRICK

THEY'RE BRINGING BACK NExT

IT WILL MAKE MY LITTLE PONY COMPUTERS

WE ARE ALL DOOMED

Steve's finally run out of ideas he can steal and patent and is bailing before all the patent trolling that Apple has started over the last couple of years comes home roost.

>Hiring a homosexual as CEO

Oh wait..

>Apple

Fuck Apple

It'll all be over very soon now. Put me down for late September/early October.

>>19603035

Imagine the shitstorm when he dies. Lulz will be had all around. All boards will join in on the clebration, from /a/ all the way to /rs/.

>>19603543
>talk about insider trading
>on /g/
Don't make me say it

>>19603606
so can we expect 99$ ipads now? also, ponies

>Sticky
Oh fuck...

>>19603514

>Apple buys Lenovo

THAT'S NOT FUCKING FUNNY

Okay, who is running the pool on when SJ is going to dirt nap?

>>19603607
>2011
>Windows

>>19603360
>>19603360
>>19603360
>>19603360
>>19603360
>>19603360
>>19603360
>>19603360
>>19603360
>>19603360
>>19603360
>>19603360
>>19603360
>>19603360
>>19603360
/thread

>>19603598
I'll buy it from you

>Apple has confirmed that Jobs will stay on as Chairman

lolling at all the windows and linux faggots thinking this is the end

steve jobs' impact on apple since 2007 has really been minimal, its all perception which will wash over in a month

>>19603313

>pioneer of technology

Marketing shiny products does not equal pioneer

The things I can think of Apple pioneered are draconian software like shutting camera off when filming at concert or anti sexting tech along with general faggorty concerning their gay software

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAH
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Isn't there an app to cure whatever he is?

>>19603514
>OS Y
you
are
fucking
stupid

http://www.reuters.com/article/2011/08/24/us-apple-idUSTRE77N82K20110824

http://archive.gentoomen.org/cgi-board.pl/g/thread/19594117
>>19594508

WELL FUCK

>>19603583
THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING

>>19603652
we don't care about the companies, we only want macfags to kill themselves.

>>19603666
He must think it is pronounced OS Ecks

>>19603633

>Thread stickied.

inb4 we have to stare at this stickied thread for three weeks before incompetent mods decide to remove it.

Hi /g/, this is Tim Cook. I just wanted to let you know that I'm not changing shit, for the sole purpose of extending your butthurt.

How's those Touchpads working out for you faggots?

Bwa ha ha! Hitler.

Hell shit yes.

>>19603679
ew gay ponies are for queers

There are some really immature people on this board, really immature.

>macfags

Sayonara, Steve. For his sake, I hope his health remains as well as it can.

As for Apple? Well, I don't give 2 fucks about that.

Stickied! LMAO

Guys, don't post ponies for the sake of posting ponies. Keep them on the same level as shitty anime macros.

Also,

>Implying his retirement will have any effect on apple's current business practices, namely their thirst for lawsuits and tendency to lie and overprice hardware

>>19603695
That graph is fallacious. It looks like it lost most of its value, and it lost only 5%

IT'S HAPPENING

>>19603699
UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD? UMAD?

>>19603557

Good bye

Hipsters are going to literally be crying on youtube about this. And I will drink their tears.
http://blogs.wsj.com/deals/2011/08/24/steve-jobs-resigns-as-apple-ceo/
HAHAHAHAHA

>>19603514
>OS Y

>>19603699
>mature

that word is too ambiguous. shut the fuck up.

>>19603627

a glorious day it will be indeed.

DAMMIT. I can't wait

>>19603712
>ponies
>shitty
>macros

>>19603699
what do you expect?
the only apple bashers are the 14 year olds living at home unable to afford anything or the 30 year old virgins dedicated to nothing but OSS.

>>19603360

Yeah. Cook has effectively been running the company for a while now, and he's one of the meanest motherfucker COOs probably ever. He makes Steve look like a sweetheart.

FINALLY WOZ WILL TAKE OVER AND WE CAN HAVE A SUCCESSOR TO THIS

Ñchan.org

About the time. Now lets hope rotten fruit follows its "glorious leader" and "resigns".

Maybe he knows that Apple has reached its peak. It's best to leave it right now. It can only get worse. Good for him.

inb4 200 replies

>>19603737
i really hope he dies from a weakened immune system and a virus. imagine the iony

>Woz returns
>Apple /// Plus released

>see this thread
>Consider the fact that he might be dead
>check Engadget
>"Resigns as CEO"

Awh fuck you mods.

>>19603738
>Using macros
>In 2011

inb4 over 9000 posts + image replys

iGosleep...

it really took this crap story to remove the 2 shit mod stickies?

>Posting in a sticky thread

>>19603633
Considering competitors are putting out similar tablets for similar prices and barely managing to stay afloat, I would say the iPad is priced pretty well. The whole market is shitty. Tablets (like the iPad) are new and their potential still has yet to be seen. It would be stupid to buy one now at any price. Wait a decade for them to find out what a Tablet can really do. (Spoiler, it won't be replacing the desktop/laptop)

>Linux fags itt

Fuck off neckboars

>>19603714
Don't be a fucking highschooler and read the labels, this is very common in finance.