>2011
>being too retarded for operating a microwave

Don't buy a shitty microwave.

TAKE THE SPOON OUT D:

you must have some shitty microblaster mine works just fine

>not overclocking your microwave

>>18748961
It's a fork
What do you suggest I use to eat my messy food with if not a fork or spoon?

in b4 weeaboos using obsoleted chopsticks

there is better warming technology.

its called a fucking oven.

but you fat fucks need that food in seconds rather than minutes huh.

> Stop half-way through timer
> Stir
> Add extra ~20 seconds to timer
> Continue

Problem solved.

>>18748993
>>18748997

Microwave masters.

>can't cook

You fucking worthless piece of shit. Cooking is easy as fuck and Men are the best at it. Having a microwave make your food is the sign of a faggot.

>>18748975
This.
I play Crysis on the screen.

>>18749017
Relax bro I'm just heating up some leftovers.

>>18748997
I'm making lasagna, now what?

>>18748926
I should have known that americans are too lazy to take out food and stir it, they expect a microwave to stir the food for them.
Honest to god i feel the day will come when americans will look like those fat people on the Wall-e film.

>>18748975
So, now it's an infrared oven?
How's that innovative?

>>18749083
>implying they don't already

>>18749124
What the fuck is wrong with his moob?

>>18748926
Brotip: put it on the edge of the revolving tray for more even heating.

you stir it dumbass then put it back in for a few more minutes

>>18749028
oh you

>any moar fap tutorial?

>>18749172
What more could you need? Once you have a fapping tool I'm sure you can figure out what to do from there.

>>18749124
>peterowens
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1114264/Too-fat-justice-The-40st-thug-serve-shorter-jail-ter
m-enormous-bulk.html

He is British.

Now it will be said that I was trolled.

>>18748926
You could just stir it, like a normal person.

>>18748926
I remember your fat hairy body, aren't you the guy who showed us his handmade fleshlight?

>>18749270
Yes I posted a howto yesterday

>>18749270
It's Jordon. Come on...

>>18749270
That body, sir, is the body of most of /g/.

You just don't know how to operate one, after microwaving your food you have to leave the food in the microwave for a while for the heat to spread around the food since microwaves only penetrate 2 cm into the food.

>9000 degrees
>implying microwaves arent colder than conventional ovens
>not setting the food off centre so it rotates through the hot and cold spots in a microwave

Fags

>>18749270
did somebody say...hand-made fleshlights?

>>18749292
or you could just stir it

>>18749306
wow this looks nicer than mine

>>18749321
I suppose that's fine too but leaving it there for a while is the best our microwave even has a timer for that purpose on it

>2011
>not having tons of russian military rations

>>18749306
Is that your girlfriend?

>>18749363
at least I can have sex with my one

>fap tutorial?
wut
do want

>>18749392
tl;dr roll a towel around some gloves and stretch the gloves around to create fuckhole

>>18749306
brb shopping

>>18749306
Sold

>>18749306
Oh god I remember that shit.


Someone posted a picture of theirs after it was use and there was blood inside. I can still feel my penis tingling in fear.

Since the death of my oven I been cooking under the grill. The microwave isn't good for cooking just reheating rice or sauce and meat

Yesterday I grilled oven chips and eggs

>>18749436
yeah you have to be pretty gentle with it or use third sponge on the top

>>18749460
>oven chips
what?

>>18749514
>>18749436
I don't usually use mine until I'm pretty hard already and then it finishes me off in no time flat.

If I ever have real sex I'm fucked

>>18749436
>blood
wut
why?

>>18748976

>>18749550
I believe the guy not only used a rubber glove, but also used WD-40.

>>18749566
lol

>>18749566
>apply WD-40 to dick
>whygodwhy.jpg
>mfw
don't people have fucking edible oil in their houses?

Op I think you should invest in the book "Microwave Cooking for One"

>>18749566
>WD-40
>Use it as masturbation lubricant

What? Was the guy who did that the fucking Tin man or something? Might as well be using paint thinner or weed killer.

>>18749583
more like
>apply wd-40 to rubber

>>18749598
>Google >apply wd-40 to rubber
>Consensus: WD-40 dries rubber up and makes it hard

Oh fuck, I don't want to imagine the poor motherfucker who stuck his dick into that death trap.

You guys have any other creative ideas for creating the ultimate cockgrinder?

>>18748975
this

I got rid of my microwave oven years ago because it's superfluous technology.
I can warm my food on the oven in no time.
Stirring makes the temperature distribution homogenous.
While the plate is still hot, I place my mocca (faux espresso) maker on it and have nice mocca just in time for desert.

>own pizza oven

and not a single fuck was given about microwave

>>18750225
now I'm jelly

>>18750258
not a big one mind you, but it has stone inside which is most important part

can do some 36cm pizza easy

>>18749516
I think he means potato wedges.

>>18750286
I make huge rectangle pizzas on cookie sheets covered in cornmeal and it works great. Why do you need a pizza oven?