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  • File : 1310442716.jpg-(49 KB, 469x440, 1304406586570.jpg)
    49 KB MANDATORY APPLE SUPPORT THREAD Anonymous 07/11/11(Mon)23:51 No.18721136  
    Gentlemenne, begin your trolling. Yesterdays thread was truly outstanding.

    >http://store.apple.com/us/browse/home/shop_mac?mco=OTY2ODQxNg

    >top right 'live chat'
    >> Anonymous 07/11/11(Mon)23:53 No.18721158
    I am monitoring this thread
    >> David 07/11/11(Mon)23:53 No.18721166
    Anyone got a good American SOCKS/HTTP proxy so YERUP can join in?
    >> Anonymous 07/11/11(Mon)23:54 No.18721181
    I had a good chat saved on my laptop hdd, which just crashed
    I'll try to get another good one
    >> Anonymous 07/11/11(Mon)23:54 No.18721183
    i dont see any live chat?
    >> Anonymous 07/11/11(Mon)23:55 No.18721210
    >>18721181
    it wouldnt of crashed if you had a mac you phaggot
    >> Anonymous 07/11/11(Mon)23:58 No.18721254
    >>18721183
    http://store.apple.com/us/browse/home/shop_mac/family/imac?mco=MTM3NDk0NjU
    >> Anonymous 07/11/11(Mon)23:58 No.18721275
    I can't actually see a live chat button. Is it because I'm incredibly stupid or because I'm from outside the US? If the former, could someone draw me a pretty picture indicating where I should click please?
    >> keystoned 07/11/11(Mon)23:59 No.18721282
    i only like my apples with peanut butthurt.
    >mmm tasty snack
    apple dropped live chat because their trained operators put too much peanut butthurt on their apples and now the company won't live chat because they're finally realizing that people know they're scamming trust fund babies and fagoot hipsters.
    >but hipsters buy everything from goodwill
    except apple product. can't read pitchfork on a pc, that's like listen to flacs on banshee.
    >hmmm
    all macfags are hipsters. raw doggin life without lube
    >> Anonymous 07/11/11(Mon)23:59 No.18721291
    >>18721254
    All I'm seeing is a phone number. Probably have to have an account with Apple to see the live chat.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)00:00 No.18721301
    Hi, my name is Monica A. Welcome to Apple!
    Hi!
    how do I use my computer
    How's it going?
    I don't know how
    it starts up and I open safari
    then it brings me to this page
    what do I do
    When did you buy your Mac?
    I don't know I found it in someone's garbage
    like two weeks ago
    Ok, I can grab you some tutorials.
    One moment please.
    whats a tutorial
    A guide.
    One moment please.
    dude I just want to talk to a normal person not a guido from jersey shore or whatever
    I understand.
    I'm grabbing you some help.
    but you're helping me right now
    Click here for guides to using your Mac.
    This will help you get started with using the Mac.
    what do I click on first
    Any one you would like to.
    They are all guides to using your Mac.
    Can I help with anything else today?
    no
    Ok.
    Have a great week!
    ok
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)00:00 No.18721311
    I don't have an account, I clicked the iMac link, and I see the Chat button! :DD
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)00:01 No.18721321
    >>18721254
    they're onto us... is it cached somewhere?
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)00:02 No.18721350
    >>18721301
    You're not trolling hard enough
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)00:02 No.18721352
    Hi, my name is Johnnie B. Welcome to Apple!

    Uh, hi. Do you know how I could install linux on my new mac?

    Welcome to Apple Online Store! How may I assist you today?

    Well I already asked the question

    I want to install linux on my new macbook and I don't know how

    I dont think so at all.

    Its would only let you use the Windows 7 on it

    Are you sure? The specifications say it has an intel processor and other people are doing it

    I have personally not heard of anyone doing it but it it meets the specifications it may be possiblel

    derpderpderp
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)00:03 No.18721362
    >mfw only people currently using Macs can see the chat button
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)00:04 No.18721380
    >>18721362
    >mfw that is not true
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)00:04 No.18721389
    >>18721362
    >I'm on a thinkpad :3

    Somebody do the stallman pasta.
    >> Leercrak !syIfS5tKXI 07/12/11(Tue)00:04 No.18721392
         File1310443475.png-(38 KB, 712x423, 1310327701605.png)
    38 KB
    Obligatory
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)00:04 No.18721399
    >>18721362
    maybe safari required?
    mmatern located
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)00:04 No.18721402
    >>18721380
    >mfw I'm just annoyed that I can't participate so I'm throwing out any insults I can think of
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)00:05 No.18721416
         File1310443554.jpg-(9 KB, 287x230, apple.jpg)
    9 KB
    what a bunch of faggots
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)00:06 No.18721420
    just wait a min it will show up after it query's the chat server to look for available reps
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)00:06 No.18721432
    DELETE THE THREAD NOW. OP FROM YESTERDAY WAS BAN
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)00:07 No.18721440
    >>18721432
    APPLE EMPLOYEE RUNNNNNNNN
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)00:09 No.18721460
    Fuck, I hate it when they say wikipedia is an unreliable source
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)00:10 No.18721474
    But we are asking legitimate questions
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)00:11 No.18721483
    >>18721440
    nope
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)00:11 No.18721485
    where the fuck is the live chat button
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)00:13 No.18721510
    >>18721485
    i duno been looking for it... something is a foot
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)00:13 No.18721515
    *

    Hi, my name is Channing M. Welcome to Apple!
    *

    Channing M: Hello!
    *

    Channing M: How are you?
    *
    yo nigga i need computa wit a 1090t an uh a 6950 wit 4gbs ram at like 1666mhz and all dat shit on an asus how much would one cost in mac version

    Channing M: This chat service is here to help with the Apple Online Store. How may I help with your shopping?
    *

    You: yeah nigga i need if fo gaymen and i said how much would one be
    *

    Channing M: I am sorry for any inconvenience, however Macs are not designed with those random Pieces and parts like a PC, none of our Macs have those items installed.
    *
    well nigga guess you aint making a sale
    >did i do gut?
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)00:13 No.18721517
    Hi, my name is Lezlie H. Welcome to Apple!

    Hi,

    how are you today?

    Alright

    And you?

    Great

    how may I help you?

    Why aren't there any Macs with AMD CPUs?

    I'm sorry,

    I am not familiar with that

    I though I was chatting with Lezlie H, an Apple Expert, not Lezlie H, an Apple Idiot

    Good day Madam
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)00:16 No.18721537
    >>18721485
    Use OP's link and click on iMac
    and itll be next to the phone number
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)00:16 No.18721542
    >>18721485
    Be patient. It will show up.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)00:16 No.18721552
    >>18721517
    I imagine it's because AMD sucks.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)00:17 No.18721567
         File1310444260.jpg-(122 KB, 1180x748, yeah.jpg)
    122 KB
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)00:17 No.18721568
    >>18721517
    >9.9/10
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)00:18 No.18721589
         File1310444333.png-(340 KB, 499x504, 1300416294030.png)
    340 KB
    I thought these reps were knowledgeable and...well they do use macs

    They don't know anything about the hardware inside what they are selling and are unaware of anything related to the company they work for.

    You macfags...
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)00:19 No.18721594
    A rep tried to convince me that UNIX = Linux and that OSX Lion is built on Unix
    He then said that it is the same as osx leopard and that is all the information "we would have at the time"
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)00:19 No.18721595
    >>18721552
    An a8-3850 Would be perfect for a macbook or air
    And you'd actually be able to play source games, unlike a gt320 or hd3000
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)00:19 No.18721597
    Op from yesterday was ban i'm his friend IRL he sent me a pic of his ban. Also 4chan is being fucky with images so i uploaded it to imgur http://i.imgur.com/iJmMJ.png
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)00:21 No.18721634
    Hi, my name is Dennis P. Welcome to Apple!

    Hi!

    Hi. how may i help you?

    I was wondering how to install linux on my new macbook pro.

    Happy to assist.

    I asked a wonderful site about my new computer, and they said to make it more hipster, install something called gentoo.
    I googled it, and its apparently a type of this "linux".

    I see.
    We have a coulple a software that would allow you to install it.
    Parallels, let me get you the link.

    Does this get rid of OS X as well?

    Click here for Parallels.
    Did it open?
    Please clarify?

    As in, does this software make gentoo install over os x?

    No, it runs them simultaneously.

    Sir, i would like you to know that i am a nigger, and that us niggers do not have enough moolah to pay $80 for a piece of fucking hipster software.
    Good day.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)00:21 No.18721635
         File1310444504.jpg-(13 KB, 251x239, okay_face_Funny_Pics-s251x239-(...).jpg)
    13 KB
    > Hi, my name is Kam B. Welcome to Apple!

    >Hi there!

    >How can I help?

    why are your computer parts 10x more expensive than whats available on the market?

    >I am happy to help.

    >Do you already own a Mac?

    uh yea

    >Great!

    Which Mac do you have?

    >macbook pro?

    >Are you looking to upgrade RAM, or something else?

    >no just the question

    >Well, here at Apple chat, as I am here to assist with your purchases, I do not have information as to why prices are set to the price they are.

    okay.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)00:21 No.18721636
    >>18721567
    yeah not working
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)00:21 No.18721639
         File1310444511.png-(554 KB, 555x629, I lol'd.png)
    554 KB
    >>18721517
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)00:22 No.18721648
    wtf no live chat anymore
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)00:23 No.18721665
    Hi, my name is Dennis P. Welcome to Apple!
    Hi!
    Hi. how may i help you?
    I was wondering how to install linux on my new macbook pro.
    Happy to assist.
    I asked a wonderful site about my new computer, and they said to make it more hipster, install something called gentoo.
    I googled it, and its apparently a type of this "linux".
    I see.
    We have a coulple a software that would allow you to install it.
    Parallels, let me get you the link.
    Does this get rid of OS X as well?
    Click here for Parallels.
    Did it open?
    Please clarify?
    As in, does this software make gentoo install over os x?
    No, it runs them simultaneously.
    Sir, i would like you to know that i am a nigger, and that us niggers do not have enough moolah to pay $80 for a piece of fucking hipster software.
    Good day.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)00:23 No.18721674
    >>18721597
    >>18721597
    >>18721597
    >>18721597
    >>18721597
    >>18721597
    >>18721597
    >>18721597
    >>18721597
    >>18721597
    >>18721597
    >>18721597
    >>18721597
    >>18721597
    >>18721597
    >>18721597
    >>18721597
    >>18721597
    >>18721597
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)00:24 No.18721679
    lol i didnt even say anything

    Hi, my name is Arnold L. Welcome to Apple!
    Hello!
    hi
    i had a question
    about the macs
    the computers
    Sure
    yo u there homie?
    so i got these CDs
    and right now theyre in my computar
    and they take like an hour to load up
    u know
    and i though
    that getting a mac
    You have CD in your computer?
    nah
    i have CDs
    downloaded to my compiuter
    and i remembered
    that macs werks really easily
    for music and all that
    so i wanted to get a fast one
    for my musik
    Ok.
    i need a laptop\
    Ok, for burning CD's?
    no
    so i can play my music
    really fast
    i got lots of classic CDs
    Michael jacksin
    rick asstley
    etc
    Ok, so you are looking for a portable.
    and i want to play them back
    on iTunes
    Did you look at the MacBook?
    yeah but its got a 2 duo cores
    and i need the big cores
    to store my music
    what should i get
    You can look at the MacBook Pro line and if you have any other questions you can come back and chat with us.
    okay
    Thank you for visiting the Apple Store. We appreciate your business. If you would like more help, please chat with us again.
    so imma buy the mac
    Thank you for choosing the Apple Store. If you have any additional questions, please chat us again.
    You are not currently in a chat session. If you require further assistance, please call 1-800-MY-APPLE.

    they must know
    >> PHP !!IAWlWuFpCEH 07/12/11(Tue)00:25 No.18721691
         File1310444703.jpg-(3 KB, 105x126, 1293335083135.jpg)
    3 KB
    >>18721665
    I LOL'D HARD
    >> !M/LCDStorM 07/12/11(Tue)00:25 No.18721692
         File1310444704.png-(212 KB, 300x450, larry-david-profile.png)
    212 KB
    >>18721634
    Pretty...pretty...good.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)00:25 No.18721695
    "i hate osx"
    >I'm Sorry you feel that way.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)00:25 No.18721698
         File1310444714.png-(369 KB, 1167x910, Capture.png)
    369 KB
    What live chat?
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)00:25 No.18721702
    somebody ask if you can install compiz on a mac, i can't get the chat, maybe it's only for people in usa?
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)00:26 No.18721715
    >>18721597
    fuck off
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)00:26 No.18721723
    You are chatting with Regina A, an Apple Expert

    Hi, my name is Regina A. Welcome to Apple!
    Welcome to the Apple Online Store! How are you doing this evening?

    yeah hi

    is your chicken fresh?

    Hello!

    We currently only have Apple products.

    How may I assist you in purchasing those?

    Are your granny smiths fresh?

    Although I sure could go a red delicious

    What would you recommend Regina?

    I would recommend that you take a look at our Apple online products.

    I have

    Why dont you sell Apple?

    This chat service is here to help with the Apple Online Store. How may I help with your shopping?

    Would you rather: a red delicious, or a crispy granny smith?

    I would rather not specify.

    Why not Regina?

    Dont you work for Apple?

    Do you have any questions for me about Macs or iPhones?

    Yes

    What questions do you have about the Mac?

    Why aren't Macs delicious?

    Our chat service is here to help you with the Apple Online Store. Please use this feature appropriately as we are offering this chat service to assist our customers.

    At least with batlow apples you can eat them

    Your company is very misleading

    Dont you sell apples?

    We don't have any in stock at the moment.

    However, we do have iPods, iPads, iPhones, and computers.

    So you DID have some apples in stock, but now you don't?

    intradasting

    This is a final warning to stop this type of response. If we are not able to keep this on a professional level, I am required to terminate the chat.

    how do i close this thingf
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)00:26 No.18721727
    Hi, my name is Deacon F. Welcome to Apple!

    Hey! Welcome to Apple Chat, how are you tonight?

    YO MY NIGGUH

    ITS ALL GOOD, HOW BOUT YO AZZ?

    This chat service is here to help with the Apple Online Store. Please use this chat service appropriately or I will be required to terminate the chat immediately.

    IM SORRY, WAS JUST TRYING TO CONNECT WIT CHU

    OKAY I HAVE A QUESTION

    Alright?

    MY BABY GIRL GAVE ME A RADEON HD 6990 CARD YESTERDAY AS A BIRTHDAY PRESENT, HOW CAN I PUT DAT SHIZZ IN MY IMAC?

    You would want to go to your nearest Apple Store with your iMac and have them install it, as if you damage anything during that, we would not be responcible for the damages.

    OKAY, A LITTLE LAME THAT I HAVE TO WAIT, BUT THANK YOU

    ARE YOU SURE THEY CAN DO IT_

    ?

    The Mac Genius there would be able to.

    I SEE

    WELL HOPEFULLY HE IS THERE NEXT TIME I VISIT THE APPLE STORE

    Alright.

    SMELL YOU LATER HOLMES, IM OFF TO BEL AIR

    what in the flying fuck, i thought imacs where all built from one sheet of steel and that everything was made in the same manufacturing line on its unibody case
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)00:26 No.18721728
    >>18721715
    its true
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)00:27 No.18721731
    I've got another one coming up
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)00:27 No.18721742
    You are chatting with David J, an Apple Expert

    Hi, my name is David J. Welcome to Apple!

    yo max cant get hacked rite?

    Good evening.
    Our computers are built with security and stability in mind. It is difficult to hack into a Mac.

    so like
    so ppl can't find my cp?
    ?
    bro u there?
    I need to kno.

    I doubt that.
    If you are doing illegal activity, it can be found on any computer with the right equipment.

    also I have a iphone i found that i dont want to return
    but it has a pin
    how do i remove it?
    bro what are you doing I keep talking to u and you keep disappearing for like 5 minutes.
    Are u new?

    If you found an iPhone, you may want to call AppleCare to see if they can locate the owner by the serial number.

    but then I wouldnt have an iphone
    that doesn't help me at all
    Let me speak with your manager plz

    I am really sorry for keeping you waiting, I'll be just another moment.
    You can call Customer service in the morning and speak with them ifyou have a concern about the iPhone you found.
    1800-676-2775
    8a-11p EST
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)00:28 No.18721752
    >go on apple store
    >ask where to find apple Xserve and raid array, along with replacement fibrechannel cards.
    >links me to buisness store, not a single xserve to be found

    mon visage quand.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)00:29 No.18721765
    >>18721728
    i dont give a shit if this true or not. just fuck off
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)00:29 No.18721766
    >>18721727
    He was wrong, imacs are laptops with out a keyboard
    Only the mac pro could have a 6990, and I doubt OSX would like it very much
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)00:30 No.18721776
    >>18721752
    They stopped making the Xserve
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)00:30 No.18721784
    >>18721765
    Ok
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)00:31 No.18721803
    fuck its us only
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)00:31 No.18721805
    You are chatting with Billy L, an Apple Expert
    Hi, my name is Billy L. Welcome to Apple!
    Hello, and welcome to the Apple Online Store's chat! How can I help you with your online shopping tonight?
    I use a pc now and im wondering what mac does better.
    I'd be happy to help you understand Macs!
    thanks!
    Only with a Mac do you get a system built by the same people who make the hardware, operating system and most of the installed applications.
    The Mac OS is built on a UNIX foundation that is intended to ensure security and resists crashes.
    unix, as in linux/gnu?
    as in GENTOO?
    UNIX, not as in Linux/GNU, or GENTOO.
    NO.
    Apple makes a high quality product that is designed to be reliable, easier to use, and typically lasts a lot longer than PCs. That's the long-term value. Plus they include hundreds of dollars worth of bundled software, and they're designed beautifully. Also, Macs are not typically as vulnerable to the viruses and spyware that plague PCs.
    How come Apple never uses AMD processors? I was looking forward to the release of Bulldozer..
    The current generation MacBook Pro 15'' and 17'' use AMD Radeon graphics cards.
    GPU has nothing to do with a CPU.
    Nigga..
    This chat service is here to help with the Apple Online Store. Please use this chat service appropriately or I will be required to terminate the chat immediately.
    Im sorry Billy.
    Please forgive me.
    Im lonely..
    I havent left the house in years..
    I've repeatedly asked you to stop this behavior. I am terminating this chat due to the nature of this conversation. If you would like to work with us in the future, please contact us at 1(800) MY-APPLE. Goodbye.
    Thank you for choosing the Apple Store. If you have any additional questions, please chat us again.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)00:32 No.18721816
         File1310445160.jpg-(23 KB, 124x320, bakuman-2456373.jpg)
    23 KB
    >You are chatting with Carla G, an Apple Expert

    >Hi, my name is Carla G. Welcome to Apple!

    >are you black?

    >Good evening.

    >tell me

    >This chat service is here to help with the Apple Online Store. How may I help with your
    shopping?

    >well I'm leaving good day madam

    I love doing this
    >> !reNo1CURR. 07/12/11(Tue)00:33 No.18721824
    Hi, my name is Dennis P. Welcome to Apple!

    Me: Hi! I'm interested in your Mac Pro Server.
    I just have a few questions, though..

    Dennis: Happy to help.
    Please ask.

    Me: Is it compatible with Plan 9, FreeBSD, or CentOS 6? If not, can Mac OS X Server handle (in your opinion) hosting high-volume websites with lots of images, video content, and PHP?
    And does it come with a web server of any type -- even Apache?

    Dennis: I see.

    Me: Yes. The OS X Server page seems to mention Wikis but I'm not really going to buy a server-grade computer just for wikis.

    Dennis: Here is some information for you.
    Mac Pro is the ideal system for graphics, audio, and film professionals, or anyone who needs extreme computational speed. It’s equipped with fast processors and high-performance graphics, and offers connections to multiple displays. It has an array of ports for connecting to peripherals and Gigabit Ethernet. The easy-access interior means you can choose the standard configuration now and expand it later—up to four internal hard drives and a lot more memory—or build a custom model from the start
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)00:33 No.18721826
    I see no live chat in the top right hand corner of the link provided. If someone shows me what the fuck I'm missing, I will delivar awesome shit.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)00:34 No.18721836
    CSR: Hi, my name is Abigail C. Welcome to Apple!

    Me: Hey, it says your store sells the World's Most Advanced Operating System
    but I can't find Windows 7 anywhere

    CSR: Hello!
    We don't sell it.

    Me: Well, your store is obviously lying about that. :(

    CSR: Apple does not operate off of the Windows system.

    Me: But how can Apple claim to sell the world's most advanced operating system when they don't sell Windows 7?

    CSR: [After a long pause] Just another minute.

    Me: Okay. :)

    *I figure at this point Abigail had to fetch a manager*

    CSR: [After a while] We sell Apple computers with the Mac OSX operating system which we believe is the best OSX in the world.
    We sell Apple computers with the Mac OSX operating system which we believe is the best OSX in the world.
    It's like having two computers in one! [no its not you moron]

    Me: Well, of course it's the best OSX. It's not like there are any other versions of OSX being sold.
    I'm talking about operating systems, not OSX specifically.

    [cont...]
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)00:34 No.18721837
    >>18721826
    are you in the us? because im not and i cant see the live chat button either
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)00:35 No.18721860
    >>18721837
    i tried proxying it out, no dice
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)00:35 No.18721863
    You are chatting with David J, an Apple Expert
    Hi, my name is David J. Welcome to Apple!
    yeah i had a question
    Good eveing.
    evening!
    How may I assist you?
    i have a question
    about my iphone
    Sure!
    i tried to root my iphone to get the new windows os and i cant figure out why it wont turn on
    tany ideas?
    any*
    I'm sorry to hear that.
    Let me have you call AppleCare in the morning for help with this.
    so you cant help?
    You are actually chatting with sales, and while I can provide you some links to our online support site, for your issue, it is best for you to call AppleCare in the morning.
    1800-275-2273
    9-9 EST daily.
    well im just going to do a shot of bleach and call it a night then. see ya!
    >> !reNo1CURR. 07/12/11(Tue)00:35 No.18721866
    >>18721824
    Me: Yes, that's all nice and well and those are many of the reasons I want to use a Mac Pro as a server to host my websites, but I need to know if there is any Apple-suggested web server software or if it can run a good server OS.

    Dennis: I see.
    Give me a minute to get you the answers.

    Me: Do you think a few Mac Mini servers would be better for the purpose of web hosting? Ofload images and video onto one of them, for example, with lighttpd or nginx to serve static content since I'm too damn cheap for a CDN?
    Thank you.

    Dennis: I see.

    Me: I hear 4chan is ran on Mac Minis. They're a very high-traffic website though I would never dream of hosting such icky content.

    Dennis: Will you be using this for business purposes?
    Me: Yes.
    Either way, I will probably find a way to colocate the Mac Minis or the Mac Pro.

    Dennis: Our business team are expert in Server application set ups and can address any potential discounts you may qualify for at the same time
    Our business team are expert in Server application set ups and can address any potential discounts you may qualify for at the same time.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)00:35 No.18721869
    >>18721837

    I'm in the U.S. but now the button appeared. I just had to refresh a couple times.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)00:35 No.18721872
    [...continued]

    CSR: [Getting slightly irate] Are you considering ordering a new computer tonight?

    Me: Furthermore, I think you're assuming that everybody believes that Mac OSX is the world's most advanced operating system, which market share proves incorrect.
    I just think you should be more conisderate of other people's beliefs.

    CSR: If you are not planning on ordering a new Mac tonight I would suggest chatting with us again if you decide to purchase.
    Thank you for your time. Was there anything else I could assist you with?
    I can appreciate that opinion. From our vantage point the OSX is by far superior. But if you want to run Windows 7 on the mac, you can do that as well.

    Me: You can assist me by proving that Mac OSX is superior to Windows.

    CSR: Click Here for Why Mac (hyperlink to http://www.apple.com/why-mac/)
    This is our website we provide customers who are new to Mac and new to the operating system.
    And I'm going to send you a link that highlights the features of the OSX specifically.

    Me: [getting bored at this point, not willing to rebuke a wall of propaganda] Nah.
    I don't buy it. ( =w=)

    [Disco]
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)00:36 No.18721883
    >>18721836
    Fuckin' lol'd at the first part
    >> !reNo1CURR. 07/12/11(Tue)00:38 No.18721909
    >>18721866
    Me: Are there any of them alive right now to talk to?

    Dennis: The number for our Apple Business team is 1-800-854-3680. Account managers are available from 6am - 6pm (Pacific Standard Time), Monday - Friday.

    Me: All right. I just have a few more questions.
    how is babby formed?
    how girl get pragnent?
    who did steve jobs steal his organs from?

    Dennis: Thank you.
    Thank you for visiting the Apple Store. We appreciate your business. If you would like more help, please chat with us again.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)00:38 No.18721911
    Fuck that shit no button here, I want to troll them so bad.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)00:39 No.18721930
    >>18721911

    Just refresh brother. It's what I did.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)00:39 No.18721936
    You are chatting with Dennis P, an Apple Expert
    Hi, my name is Dennis P. Welcome to Apple!
    Hi. How may I help you?
    I think that my mac has a virus.
    I'd be happy to help! May I ask you some questions to assist you?
    Every time i start my browser, a different site opens.
    This started after my son's friend used my mac for facebook.
    it opens urbandictionary.com
    and this text is there:
    The sound that is emitted from one's thighs or buttox while the act of anal sex is being performed. It comes out as a loud slapping sound that can sometimes be heard throughout the entire house. The slapping sound occurs when the receivers anus is slammed by the givers thighs as the anal sex is being performed. Can happen in both Heterosexual and Homosexual intercourse. Last night I couldn't sleep, all I could hear was Mark and Beth's Rolling Thunder on my couch, it was really loud!
    Sorry to hear that. While Apple Chat Support is here to assist you with your Apple Online Store order process, let me get you a support link for help. If you need further help, I'll get you the Support Experts contact information. Is that ok?
    Thanks.
    it also said this.
    Noun: An extremly awesome dick trick, one of the most elite/intense. It is performed by a man sticking his cock and balls in-between his legs, aka a fruit bowl, fruit basket, goat, or mangina, and then perforing a somersault while the package is still tucked under. Did you see the look on those girls face's when Dom pulled out the rolling thunder at that party? I don't know if they were laughing at his tinky winky or how extreme of a cock move that was.
    Ok.
    Never mind, he just changed my home page! thanks for all the help
    Click for support.
    Did it open?
    yeah.
    thanks!
    Happy to help.
    Is there is anything else I can do to help you today?
    thats all!

    and i GOT AWAY WITH IT.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)00:42 No.18721976
    >Hi, my name is David J. Welcome to Apple!
    Help
    >Good evening.
    >How may I assist you?
    I am trying to cofignure a PC
    >Which Mac are you considering tonight?
    I did a Mac Pro but it was named bad.
    I don't know even what a proceser is.
    It say it named a "Nehalem"
    I dunt want it.
    I want to name it
    I dunt like that name.
    >That is the processor in the computer you have selected.
    butt I want name my own
    >You can pick a different Mac Pro if you like. Just click the cart icon top right and then hit continue shopping.
    but I this one want
    >Ok. You won't be able to change the name of the processor in that model computer.
    >What type of applications are you going to use the computer for?
    i dunt now what that is
    i just want it not
    to be
    >Are you a college student or eductor?
    i am an ejucator
    i teach myself new thing every day
    i just dunt want it name has nehalem
    i want to name it Steve
    >You can set up your name as your user log in.
    it give me only has 2 option
    >Yes that's right.
    only has says Nehalem nd Westmere
    >Right.
    >You pick one or the other.
    but i wunt a steve
    to be name of my computer apple
    >That would not be an option. I'm sorry.
    >When you are ready to purchase, please chat with us again.
    >Thank you for visiting the Apple Store. We appreciate your business. If you would like more help, please chat with us again.
    i need help and u dont
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)00:42 No.18721980
    >>18721515
    I nearly died of laughter
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)00:42 No.18721985
    >You are chatting with Rudy M, an Apple Expert
    >Hi, my name is Rudy M. Welcome to Apple!
    >Hi there!
    Hi my name is Jamal, I am wondering why there are never any Macbooks with AMD processors.
    >I'm glad you asked Jamal.
    >As you may know, Apple makes it's software only for it's hardware.
    >Maintaining a solid standard of hardware, you get a resulting more solid software.
    But both Intel and AMD CPUs behave the same.
    No?
    >Well I'm really sorry Jamal. You seem to be very knowledgeable in processors and I'm afraid I cannot really debate why Apple decided to use one over the other.

    mfw dumb "Apple Experts" thinking Intel and AMD CPUs behave _that_ much differently. ;_;
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)00:44 No.18722004
         File1310445864.png-(111 KB, 247x248, 1303496083599.png)
    111 KB
    >>18721515
    >I am sorry for any inconvenience, however Macs are not designed with those random Pieces and parts like a PC, none of our Macs have those items installed.

    I'm fucking dying of laughter. The real joke here is that these people are actually employed.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)00:45 No.18722010
    no button here as well
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)00:46 No.18722024
         File1310445972.jpg-(33 KB, 627x293, apple_hipsterfaggot.jpg)
    33 KB
    >open OP's link
    >see this huge faggot on the front page

    I don't feel clean anymore
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)00:46 No.18722027
    I actually like thought these geniuses knew their shit, how do they fucking get by each day at work?
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)00:46 No.18722036
    are you guys using proxy to troll?
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)00:47 No.18722045
    You are chatting with Dennis P, an Apple Expert
    Hi, my name is Dennis P. Welcome to Apple!
    Hi. How may I help you?
    That's a good question, how can you help me?
    Yes?
    what are your qualifications to help me?
    This chat service is here to help with the Apple Online Store. How may I help with your shopping?
    You can help me by answering my fucking question...
    Thank you for choosing the Apple Store. If you have any additional questions, please chat us again.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)00:47 No.18722053
    >>18722036
    Ever since they ban my IP. yes
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)00:48 No.18722057
    Hi, my name is Bruce M. Welcome to Apple!

    How are you?

    yo nigga i need computa wit a 1090t an uh a 6950 wit 4gbs ram at like 1666mhz and all dat shit on an asus how much would one cost in mac version
    (copied off of the another poster)

    Im aight

    Our chat service is here to help you with the Apple Online Store. Please use this feature appropriately as we are offering this chat service to assist our customers.

    wat nigga I need soport

    Thank you for choosing the Apple Store. If you have any additional questions, please chat us again.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)00:48 No.18722059
    >>18722053
    Which one? I don't see any button here maybe a proxy would help.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)00:49 No.18722070
    I keep telling myself these people have to be cleverbots. There no way real people can behave this retardedly.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)00:49 No.18722073
    Anyone know how to paste some text into the chat box? I wrote a whole fucking rant in notepad and I don't want to have to retype it.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)00:49 No.18722083
    >>18722073
    crt+v...
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)00:50 No.18722087
    >>18722070
    They like macs
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)00:51 No.18722101
    I've asked if there's a mac with xfired 6990s and she's avoiding the question 3 times
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)00:51 No.18722102
    >Hi, my name is Michael W. Welcome to Apple!
    good morning!
    i have a question about the iMac
    >Hello! How may I assist you?
    would it be possible to buy an iMac with windows 7 on it?
    >Thank you for choosing the Apple Store. If you have any additional questions, please chat us again.

    that fucker hung up
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)00:52 No.18722119
    >Hi, my name is Rudy M. Welcome to Apple!
    Type your response here and press Return to send it...
    >Hi there!
    Type your response here and press Return to send it...
    >How may I help you today?
    Type your response here and press Return to send it...
    >Hello?
    Type your response here and press Return to send it...
    >Our chat service is here to help you with the Apple Online Store. Please use this feature appropriately as we are offering this chat service to assist our customers.
    Type your response here and press Return to send it...
    >This is a final warning to stop this type of response. If we are not able to keep this on a professional level, I am required to terminate the chat.
    Type your response here and press Return to send it...
    >I've repeatedly asked you to stop this behavior. I am terminating this chat due to the nature of this conversation. If you would like to work with us in the future, please contact us at 1(800) MY-APPLE. Goodbye.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)00:52 No.18722120
    Carlos is a fucking bro. Will delivar once this convo is over.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)00:52 No.18722125
    i can't get on my someone paste them that rms BSD/OSX copypasta.


    ask them: "hey, what yours operating system called"
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)00:53 No.18722138
    I just want to say guys, tonight a few apple employees have actually had fun with this job

    thanks
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)00:53 No.18722142
    does anyone have the thread number of the old thread, to look on the easymodo/whatever archives?
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)00:53 No.18722146
    someone ask why they're racist and they dont make black imacs
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)00:54 No.18722155
    >>18722142
    http://chanarchive.org/4chan/g/14141/2011-not-trolling-apple-s-live-chat
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)00:55 No.18722160
    >>18722138
    Why do you work for Apple? What would possible cause a /g/entleman to work for that shithole?
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)00:56 No.18722195
    >>18721698
    Mine was like that too just click on were you circled and it should pop up.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)00:57 No.18722198
    >>18722155
    Going to be deleted in 6 days. /g/ WE MUST UPVOTE THIS
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)00:57 No.18722204
    Damn nigga

    You are chatting with Abigail C, an Apple Expert

    Hi, my name is Abigail C. Welcome to Apple!

    Welcome back!

    hola

    i was looking at the macbook air

    I would be happy to assist you with that!

    Would you like the link to the MacBook Air?

    No ive got it

    What kind of raid configurations does it support?

    Thank you for choosing the Apple Store. If you have any additional questions, please chat us again.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)00:58 No.18722225
    you guise cant find the live chat link

    wtf?!
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)00:59 No.18722233
    >>18721976
    Laughed the hardest at this
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)00:59 No.18722238
    >>18722204
    that's a legitimate question! what a fucker
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)01:00 No.18722254
    Hi, my name is Rudy M. Welcome to Apple!

    Hi

    Thank you for choosing the Apple Store. If you have any additional questions, please chat us again.

    >they are onto us
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)01:00 No.18722256
    You are chatting with Rudy M, an Apple Expert
    Hi, my name is Rudy M. Welcome to Apple!
    HI, im having trouble with my Macintosh 128K.
    Thank you for choosing the Apple Store. If you have any additional questions, please chat us again.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)01:01 No.18722273
    www.youtube.com/watch?v=H0MwvOJEBOM&loop=1&autoplay=1 .
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)01:01 No.18722280
    >>18722273
    NIGGER
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)01:02 No.18722287
    >>18722273
    FUCKING FAGGOT
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)01:02 No.18722294
    >>18722273
    And my volume was fucking high, fuck off nigger
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)01:03 No.18722305
    >>18722273
    I WILL MURDER YOU
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)01:03 No.18722309
    >>18722273
    GTFO
    >> Leercrak !syIfS5tKXI 07/12/11(Tue)01:03 No.18722316
         File1310447033.jpg-(257 KB, 703x1000, moe 121867 sample.jpg)
    257 KB
    If you can get them to go to something like i.imgur or omplodr or some sort of picture hosting website...

    Tell them you're having trouble with X and describe it like a retard and tell them you took a picture and that it's on [website] and make the pic something glorious.

    You could then play it off saying you accidentally uploaded the wrong one.

    Also, they can go to wikipedia pages so quickly edit a wiki page about apples shit and post a nice picture at the top of the wiki.You'd have to do it fast before some wikifag fixes it etc..
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)01:04 No.18722333
         File1310447093.jpg-(56 KB, 413x395, 1297809596225.jpg)
    56 KB
    >>18721301
    >>A guide.
    >dude I just want to talk to a normal person not a guido from jersey shore or whatever
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)01:05 No.18722336
         File1310447104.jpg-(155 KB, 400x505, 1307980327852.jpg)
    155 KB
    >>18722273
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)01:05 No.18722340
    No proxies are showing the chat button for me and my ip address is blocked
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)01:06 No.18722355
    >>18721301
    Best line
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)01:07 No.18722374
         File1310447253.jpg-(113 KB, 800x1015, cancer-sage.jpg)
    113 KB
    Not technology.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)01:07 No.18722377
         File1310447262.png-(191 KB, 445x266, 1303774274822.png)
    191 KB
    >>18722280
    >>18722287
    >>18722294
    >>18722305
    >>18722309
    >>18722336
    >not using adblock with autoplay blocked
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)01:08 No.18722397
         File1310447311.jpg-(85 KB, 425x282, 1305861415168.jpg)
    85 KB
    repeat alienware is up
    https://www.alienware.com/Landings/promotions.aspx
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)01:08 No.18722402
    That's just too unreal.

    You: I need the strongest mega computer there can be.
    David: I am afraid I cannot help you design the strongest mega computer without details of what you plan to use the computer for.
    You: Flash games.
    David: Okay! Anything else.
    You: No.
    David: Okay! Based on your needs of games, I recommend a Mac Pro with two 2.93GHz 6-core Intel Xeon "Westmere" processors, 32GB of memory, 4TB storage in a RAID format, an ATI Radeon HD 5870 1GB graphics, Two 18x SuperDrive Optical Drives, and Two 27" Apple LED Cinema displays.
    David: This computer will be perfect for rendering games quickly, efficiently, and in the most beautiful color available on the market, on a huge 27" display, which includes, built-in an iSight camera, and microphone for communicating with your game friends, and speakers for hearing the amazing sound effects of your games! The 4TB of storage space will allow you to install and securely keep all of your games in one place, without having to make space for anything else, and the two optical drives will allow you to install and play two games at once! Meanwhile, the secondary display will give you the option of either expanding your games to a breath-taking 48" display, or allow you to work on a second monitor while playing games on the first!
    You: Fuck yeah.
    *David has ended this chat due to excessive vulgar language. Please contact Apple Support via telephone, or visit an apple store with your support ticket number, which you will receive by email shortly, to continue your support experience. Thank you for contacting Apple Support.*
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)01:09 No.18722407
    ASR: Did you put it in your cart?
    me: so apples are like lexus window is like toyota
    me: yes
    ASR: More like Rolls Royces!
    >> Pizza Man !WEwgiRoDj6!!insP9voyurZ 07/12/11(Tue)01:09 No.18722416
    >>18721136
    >>18721136
    >>18721136

    http://www.text-upload com/read.php?t=5158

    - is Apple

    = is me
    >> Lolrus !JUK/EQRroc 07/12/11(Tue)01:10 No.18722422
    Hi, my name is Yolanda G. Welcome to Apple!

    Hi Yolanda

    I am almost ready to buy a macbook

    Hi there!

    Sounds great.

    but I wanted to know more about how apple is run and what its beliefs and conducts are

    What is the general viewpoint of apple in terms of laptop and desktop computing?

    In terms of the environment?

    No, in terms of the end user and their experience with the computer, if you will

    Product integration is very important.

    We create our own operating system, which most companies do not do.

    The fact that we credit software specifically for our Macs creates a very stable computing environment.

    We are rated number once each year for customer dependability. That is very good feeling that customer's trust us.

    What would you be looking for in a Mac purchase?

    You where saying that it is unique that apple created osx, but there are many corporations that have made different, and maybe even better, operating systems, such as the Gentoo foundation, why should I choose osx lion over them?

    What have you heard about Macs so far?

    That they are good for photoshop and they are also very secure. What worries me though is that my friend caught the mac defender virus a few weeks ago and it kind of made me feel less "in the mood" so to speak, of getting a mac

    Can you tell me more about what he caught?

    he says its called mac defender or something, acts as an antivirus but bugs him to no end like a virus

    he called mac support and nothing helped

    which is why im worried about getting a mac instead of say, a gentoo build

    Oh, so sorry to hear about that happening.

    For this Gentoo, do you just build a PC and add that software?
    >> Lolrus !JUK/EQRroc 07/12/11(Tue)01:11 No.18722447
    >>18722422

    Or do you put it on any PC?

    It is a mixture of both

    it is made with accesability in mind

    I bet if I tried I could get it on a macbook, but that would probably void the warranty :(

    Correct, the warranty would be voided.

    What type of activities would you do daily on a computer?

    I want to make sure we are the right fit for your needs.

    I like to do a lot of small time video editing and drawing using my tablet, but macs are a little stale in my hipster community, every one has switched to gentoo

    so while I like macs that is another negative that leaves me torn between gentoo and getting a macbook}

    Well, please try the MacBook first.

    You receive a 14 day return policy.

    Free return shipping and no restocking fee.

    What if I try out all of the macbooks compenents vigourously

    and I decide it is not for me and want to return it, but the 14 day policy ended

    would I be stuck with the macbook?

    We would not be able to offer a return after 14 days.

    Only a repair or replacement if warranty issues arise.

    Well thats a bummer :(

    Did Steve Jobs only get a 14 day return policy on the organs he stole from a kid?

    That is not appropriate for this discussion.

    We can help with product questions.

    Well I would have assumed it was, seeing as Steve Jobs is Apple´s frontman

    if he got a longer return policy then he is being greedy by only offering 14 to his loyal customers

    14 days return is standard for computers in the industry, not just Apple.

    But I thought Apple has the intentions for best customer experience and support

    Yes, as always.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)01:11 No.18722452
    >>18721416
    And so the infinite cycle of fagotry continues.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)01:12 No.18722456
         File1310447534.jpg-(74 KB, 512x382, 1307420955585.jpg)
    74 KB
    >>18722377
    TELL ME YOUR SECRETS!!!
    >> Lolrus !JUK/EQRroc 07/12/11(Tue)01:12 No.18722461
    >>18722447
    it would only be rational for them to give a longer return window as to go up and above the competition

    That is why we do not have a restocking free or charge for return shipping.

    But sometimes 14 days just not enough to compile OSX

    Try your best to use the 14 days to make sure the system is up to your computing needs

    If not, then at least you gave us a shot. That is all that we could ask for.

    Okay Yolanda

    our conversation today really had a good impact on me

    thank you

    Thank you for your kind consideration of Apple

    thank you for convincing me to support the gentoo foundation that is, free open source is the future

    Stop in again for further assistance and research.

    Have a terrific rest of the week!

    Its a damn shame she didnt succumb to my epeen
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)01:12 No.18722463
         File1310447554.png-(11 KB, 445x431, 1301165682543.png)
    11 KB
    >>18721836
    >We sell Apple computers with the Mac OSX operating system which we believe is the best OSX in the world.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)01:12 No.18722474
    >>18722273
    god damn, a piece of support wood fell out of my computer chair while I wasn't sitting on it, and then out of nowhere this starts playing at high volume. I thought I was being attacked by ghosts.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)01:13 No.18722483
    >>18722474
    I lol'd
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)01:14 No.18722495
    >>18722474
    Fuck, you owe me a new soda.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)01:14 No.18722499
    omygod.

    http://shorttext.com/GEKtkt
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)01:14 No.18722508
    >>18722456
    >install Adblock Plus for chrome
    >go to Adblock Plus options
    >go to add your own filters
    >filter &autoplay=1
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)01:14 No.18722511
         File1310447698.jpg-(16 KB, 240x200, 2606-scooby&shaggy.jpg)
    16 KB
    >>18722474
    g-g-g-ghosts?!
    >> Leercrak !syIfS5tKXI 07/12/11(Tue)01:15 No.18722521
         File1310447735.jpg-(52 KB, 453x604, mz.jpg)
    52 KB
    >>18722422
    >That is very good feeling that customer's trust us.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)01:15 No.18722527
    >mfw I don't get why people like to waste their time hating on a company instead of bettering themselves

    >mfw my macbooks gotten me through my computer science degree

    feelsindifferentmang
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)01:16 No.18722529
    Hi, my name is Rudy M. Welcome to Apple!
    How may I help you today?
    I have a complaint about your company's current philosophy in regards to the naming of its products. Don't you think the excessive use of the pronoun "I" only serves to add to and encourage the already high level of narcisissm in this fair country? iPad, iPod, iMac. I, I, I. ME, ME, ME.
    People are already self-centered as it is without having it subliminally validated as a "lifestyle choice" by the marketing of your commercial products. You might say "Oh, well that's precisely WHY we use the pronoun "I" in our products! It is to appeal to the modern man (or woman)! That's the secret to our succes!" And to this point, I'd like to refer you to another successful electronics company which I feel is on the right track, and which doesn't rely on cheap gimmicks or petty manipulations: Nintendo.
    As you can see, all of their products have inclusive names: Wii ("We"), Wii U ("Wii and YOU").
    Thank you for your feedback.
    This naming philosopy takes the focus off of the individual and places it (rightly I might add) on the community. It raises consciousness and makes people better in the long run. It encourages people to love one another. And they still make loads of money!
    Your products, on the other hand, encourage people to be greedy, selfish, spiteful, and vindictive. And most of all, isolated, which is the most grevious sin of all (since it leads to all other spiritual sins).
    This feedback is important to us. PLease let me give you the right place to offer it to Apple so it can be documented.
    Really, how does it feel to know that you're harming people mentally and spiritually when you really don't need to be? You can survive without this narcissistic corporate image you push onto the American public. Why not choose to do the right thing, now that you know?
    Please let me get you a link so you can once again paste all this information.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)01:16 No.18722533
    >>18722499

    read this shit /g/, I worked very hard on it for you. also, dem some 99's
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)01:16 No.18722537
    >>18722377
    How do I enable that?
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)01:16 No.18722542
         File1310447806.jpg-(47 KB, 211x192, 4chan-1297976414028.jpg)
    47 KB
    > spending your evenings harassing salespeople online instead of hanging out with friends in real life
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)01:17 No.18722550
    >>18722527
    >macbook
    >cs
    dohohoho
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)01:17 No.18722551
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    50 KB
    You are chatting with Bruce M, an Apple Expert

    Hi, my name is Bruce M. Welcome to Apple!

    hello i need help

    Ok

    What can I assist you with?

    how do i install mac onto my pc?

    Which PC do yo have?

    a pretty cool one

    bought it last thursday

    Ok

    You can't install that on a PC unfortunately but you can install PC on a Mac

    i can into pc on mac but not mac into pc?

    Exactly

    why

    Mac created a way to integrate PC into Mac software

    but mac cannot into pc

    while pc can into mac

    Right

    so mac < pc

    That's one way to look at it

    thats what i thought
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)01:18 No.18722572
         File1310447910.jpg-(196 KB, 760x800, 1305853140794.jpg)
    196 KB
    >>18722529
    rofl fucking told
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)01:19 No.18722582
    >>18722550

    ...what?
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)01:19 No.18722586
    >>18722550

    >implying OS X doesn't have all of the IDEs I require
    >implying parallels doesn't let me boot into windows 7 or ubuntu within seconds if I need to
    >implying I ever have to
    >implying is fun
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)01:19 No.18722595
         File1310447980.gif-(14 KB, 200x200, 1306613393001.gif)
    14 KB
    >>18722542
    >spending your evenings being condescending to people harassing salespeople online instead of hanging out with friends in real life
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)01:19 No.18722597
    Hi, my name is Marcos P. Welcome to Apple!
    Good evening.
    How may I assist you today?

    Hi!
    I am interested in buying an iMac for video production.

    I'm happy to assist.

    However, I've heard how Apple has decided to leave all of its loyal customers with FCP in the dust in favor of FCP X. While I have no intention of using all those fancy-pants features, can you tell me if I even need FCP X if I just want to do some basic editing and color adjustments?

    iMovie is great for everyday basic video editing.
    Click here to view what you can do with iMovie

    I plan to be using my iMac to create and edit homosexual pornographic movies. I spoke with another representative, but he decided to disconnect me before I could ask him about iMacs for this purpose.
    Do you think iMovie can give me high production quality like the big studios? (Corbin Fisher, Randy Blue, etc.)
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)01:20 No.18722600
         File1310448005.jpg-(48 KB, 448x456, 1296380179280.jpg)
    48 KB
    >>18722551
    >but mac cannot into pc
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)01:20 No.18722607
    Somebody ask the sales rep you're chatting with what their name is. If I remember correctly, the names provided aren't real.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)01:20 No.18722608
    >>18722597
    Are you purchasing for a business?

    Right now it'll just be me and a partner. So, as for a registered business, no.
    Eventually, though, I hope to grow my operation to be hard and competitive with the majors. But I digress.

    The iMac would be an excellent choice. I recommend the 27-inch: 3.1GHz for video editing.
    The i7 processor is faster with built in Hyper-Threading technology. This will give you the performance and speed that you are looking for.

    I see. I have a few AVCHD camcorders. Can iMovie ingest large amounts of AVCHD files without choking up or spitting out errors?
    And do you think the iMac 27-incher would be able to deliver as well?

    Yes it can.

    Perfect!
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)01:20 No.18722609
         File1310448043.jpg-(28 KB, 331x319, 1291169188611.jpg)
    28 KB
    >>18722551
    >a pretty cool one
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)01:20 No.18722612
    >>18722586
    >ubuntu
    >parallels
    >>>/b/
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)01:21 No.18722626
    >>18722595

    It's morning here, LOLOLOLOLOLOL.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)01:21 No.18722631
    i didn't do this for nothing /g/

    http://shorttext.com/GEKtkt
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)01:21 No.18722633
    >>18722499
    OH LAWD
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)01:21 No.18722636
    >>18722608
    Thank you so much for helping me. As one last question. do you believe that the Mac Pro would be better for these purposes or would an iMac suffice? I don't have money to burn per se but I would like to get the best bang for my buck so to speak.

    The 27" iMac is designed for the most advanced applications such as pro level video editing and high end graphics work like 3d animation.
    I recommend the iMac. The iMac Quad Core and the Mac Pro Quad are similar in performance. What you get with the Mac Pro is more expansion - up to 32GB of ram, six display supports, PCI expansion slots....
    iMac can run 16GB of ram and that's the only upgrade you can do on it. But performance - nearly identical.

    Over the long term, perhaps if I wanted to add HDMI capture or other niceties, do you think that the Mac Pro would be a better purchase then? Or are there Thunderbolt peripherals that could handle large amounts of raw pornographic video over HDMI?

    Yes. The Mac Pro By far the most powerful and expandable Mac available! The Mac Pro is perfect for customers who need power and expandability.
    It has an incredible number of configuration options - processors, memory, hard drives, and graphics cards. Perfect for the video and creative professional.

    Sounds perfect! Thank you, again, for all your help.

    You're welcome.
    Thank you for visiting the Apple Store. We appreciate your business. If you would like more help, please chat with us again.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)01:23 No.18722647
         File1310448190.jpg-(252 KB, 1600x914, 0gtKX.jpg)
    252 KB
    Well, I've tried everything. I've disabled plugins, used different browsers, used a proxy, restarted by computer and router and I still can't get the "Live Chat" button to show up.

    Guess I'm out of this one. Anyone who can help?
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)01:23 No.18722648
    >>18722633

    Still working on it bro, I'll put up the rest of the conversation when it's over for you. Promise.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)01:23 No.18722650
         File1310448196.jpg-(15 KB, 300x300, celebrate.jpg)
    15 KB
    >>18722612

    >greentext XD
    >link him /b/ XD
    >Im a low level hardware support faggot who was too dumb for CS and I'm jealous XD
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)01:28 No.18722714
         File1310448525.gif-(1.64 MB, 238x178, 1309998750272.gif)
    1.64 MB
    someone give them the stallman.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)01:29 No.18722716
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    29 KB
    >>18722597
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)01:30 No.18722737
    You are chatting with Carla G, an Apple Expert
    Hi, my name is Carla G. Welcome to Apple!
    Hello.
    Good evening.
    Just to let you guys know, your chats are getting "invaded" by chantard idiots
    >>18721136
    I thought it'd be nice to let you guys know
    Thank you.
    You're welcome.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)01:30 No.18722746
    >>18722737

    umad applefag?
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)01:31 No.18722756
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    113 KB
    >>18722737
    troll/10
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)01:31 No.18722761
    >>18722499

    lol'd. Don't even know why.
    >> Leercrak !syIfS5tKXI 07/12/11(Tue)01:32 No.18722767
         File1310448729.jpg-(30 KB, 252x110, Yuki_Nagat01.jpg)
    30 KB
    >>18722529
    >And they still make loads of money!
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ON-7v4qnHP8&feature=player_detailpage#t=24s

    lowdsehmoneh
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)01:32 No.18722776
    >>18722198
    just go to green-oval, no-ip or easymodo and type in >>18689750
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)01:33 No.18722783
    >>18722767
    Now I have to play Killing Floor, thanks.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)01:35 No.18722802
    You are chatting with Lezlie H, an Apple Expert
    Hi, my name is Lezlie H. Welcome to Apple!
    hi
    Hi,
    how are you today?
    very good
    >>18721136
    that is a link to the source of the chat-related shenanigans as of late
    Thank you for the information
    may I help you with a purchase tonight?
    Please address this to any and all who work with the Apple chat
    no
    Alright, thanks very much!
    you're welcome
    Thank you for visiting the Apple Store. We appreciate your business. If you would like more help, please chat with us again.

    I just love being helpful.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)01:35 No.18722813
    >>18722802

    u upset bro?
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)01:36 No.18722831
         File1310449009.jpg-(43 KB, 500x375, 1305600411917.jpg)
    43 KB
    >>18722802
    rofl they don't like you bro
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)01:36 No.18722834
    >>18722813
    Sorry, but the fun time is not.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)01:38 No.18722848
    HEY GUYS
    SUMMER IS OVER
    TOMORROW IS THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL
    GO TO BED
    >> !M/LCDStorM 07/12/11(Tue)01:39 No.18722868
    >>18722499
    Best one so far.
    >> Leercrak !syIfS5tKXI 07/12/11(Tue)01:40 No.18722875
         File1310449209.jpg-(57 KB, 203x234, TheMelancholz.jpg)
    57 KB
    >>18722834
    >>u upset bro?
    >Sorry, but the fun time is not
    The fun time is not upset
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)01:40 No.18722876
    You are chatting with Yolanda G, an Apple Expert
    Hi, my name is Yolanda G. Welcome to Apple!
    Hello
    I was wondering...
    Hi there!
    Do you guys have BATTLETOADS HAHAHA YOU HAVE BEEN TROLLED!
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)01:40 No.18722877
    >>18722848
    man, I didn't even buy my 7th grade algebra textboo- I mean college algebra textbook yet.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)01:40 No.18722883
    >>18722868

    Still working on it. Any tips to end this shit quickly? I have literally been talking to this faggot for the entirety of this thread,
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)01:42 No.18722918
         File1310449365.jpg-(3 KB, 126x108, 1294560194050.jpg)
    3 KB
    >>18722883

    Nevermind, he hung up on me instead, what a faggot. We had a nice 1 hour conversation then he hangs up on me.

    As promised: http://shorttext.com/GEKtkt
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)01:44 No.18722941
    >>18722848

    five more minutes
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)01:45 No.18722947
    >>18722918
    >http://shorttext.com/GEKtkt

    holy fuck, i have no clue what i did but I fucked it up and lost the ending of the conversation. Sorry bros.
    >> jordan 07/12/11(Tue)01:45 No.18722960
    This gives me hope that maybe I actually am qualified to work in tech support or something like this
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)01:46 No.18722965
    >>18722947
    Should've bought a mac. Time machine bro.
    >> !M/LCDStorM 07/12/11(Tue)01:47 No.18722985
    >>18722947
    Was good anyway.
    +10
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)01:47 No.18722998
         File1310449672.png-(487 KB, 1082x594, 1301267799828.png)
    487 KB
    >>18722960
    Techsupport should be the last fallback
    For win/macfags it's the only job they can do

    Literally anyone can go into tech support.This thread proves that
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)01:48 No.18723015
    Hi, my name is Channing M. Welcome to Apple!

    Hello

    I have questions

    I don't think anyone here will be able to answer them

    Welcome back!

    Yeah1

    How may I assist you with your shopping tonight?

    Dude, we should hang out

    But I have a question about DEP in macosx

    This chat service is here to help with the Apple Online Store. How may I help with your shopping?

    It is hardware excecuted or software? What kind of rule enforcement system do you guys use?

    Our chat service is here to help you with the Apple Online Store. Please use this feature appropriately as we are offering this chat service to assist our customers.

    I need to buy a new computer, and I want to buy a mac, but I keep hearing about a lot of security holes

    I've repeatedly asked you to stop this behavior. I am terminating this chat due to the nature of this conversation. If you would like to work with us in the future, please contact us at 1(800) MY-APPLE. Goodbye.

    Thank you for choosing the Apple Store. If you have any additional questions, please chat us again.

    What the hell? I am just trying to get questions answered....
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)01:51 No.18723053
    >>18722998
    >Windows- fat faggot fuck
    >Linux- classy like a motherfucker
    >Mac- delicious gay little boys
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)01:52 No.18723076
    You are chatting with Lezlie H, an Apple Expert
    Hi, my name is Lezlie H. Welcome to Apple!
    Me: あなたは日本語わかりますか?
    Thank you for visiting the Apple Store. We appreciate your business. If you would like more help, please chat with us again.

    > :(
    Not even directed to a Japanese speaking employee.
    I can express my ideas much better with Japanese.

    The question mark is also redundant, but it helps the reader realize it's a question if they don't understand the か particle.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)01:52 No.18723078
    >>18723015
    Man, what shit support.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)01:53 No.18723087
    >>18723015
    Have you been disconnected before? If I remember correctly, they can tell if you have, and they're much quicker to disconnect you after the first time.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)01:56 No.18723137
    >>18723087
    Yeah, I was asking him about macports, and he told me that they didn't sell it. I told him that it's a package management system.

    I then asked him if I could install SELinux on OSX if I had the source code.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)01:57 No.18723164
    >You are chatting with Carla G, an Apple Expert
    >Hi, my name is Carla G. Welcome to Apple!
    Hello
    >Good evening.
    asl?
    >How may I assist you tonight?
    fine, you m or f?
    >Female.
    oh cool
    >Awesome!
    so why r u on omegle tonite, bb?
    >How may I assist you tonight?
    i just askd u a question, dont turn ths areound on me!
    >I am sorry but I am not sure what you are referring to.
    omegle...
    the thing were talking on, dummy
    hellooooo?
    >ASL/
    13/f/cali
    u?
    >I am sorry but I am not sure what you are referring to but it does not seem to be pertaining to Apple.
    uh, it does, im using an apple
    god, some morans
    >Are you needing assistance on an issue that you are experiencing?
    no, im jus trying to have a nice convo lol
    but ur not makin it easy D:
    >Thank you for choosing the Apple Store. If you have any additional questions, please chat us again.
    notasplanned.jpg
    >> jordan 07/12/11(Tue)01:59 No.18723193
    >please chat us again
    This line is terrible
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)01:59 No.18723202
    >>18723164
    >back_in_my_day.jpg
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)02:01 No.18723222
    >>18723164
    OHSHITNIGGAWhatwereyoudoing?
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)02:05 No.18723308
    SOME ONE PLEASE.
    What you're referring to as Linux, is in fact, GNU/Linux, or as I've recently taken to calling it, GNU plus Linux. Linux is not an operating system unto itself, but rather another free component of a fully functioning GNU system made useful by the GNU corelibs, shell utilities and vital system components comprising a full OS as defined by POSIX.

    Many computer users run a modified version of the GNU system every day, without realizing it. Through a peculiar turn of events, the version of GNU which is widely used today is often called "Linux", and many of its users are not aware that it is basically the GNU system, developed by the GNU Project.

    There really is a Linux, and these people are using it, but it is just a part of the system they use. Linux is the kernel: the program in the system that allocates the machine's resources to the other programs that you run. The kernel is an essential part of an operating system, but useless by itself; it can only function in the context of a complete operating system. Linux is normally used in combination with the GNU operating system: the whole system is basically GNU with Linux added, or GNU/Linux. All the so-called "Linux" distributions are really distributions of GNU/Linux.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)04:14 No.18725236
    - are them

    Welcome to Dell US Chat! My name is Grace Lin P, and I will be your Dell.com Chat Expert. Hi there, how are you doing today?
    Agent Grace_Lin_Paug
    -Hi Jamal ^-^

    Hi Grace
    Are you in the Phillippines by any chance?

    -I am glad that you chatted in today..
    -yes..may I know why please?

    I just wanted to ask if DELL just give you names and tell you to stick to them

    -not at all..but may I know how I can help you today please?

    I think DELL likes to make customers think they are talking to US citicenz
    citizens*
    Could you call in your supervisor?

    -You are now being connected to an agent. Thank you for using Dell Chat

    -Grace_Lin_Paug has left this session!

    -Agent Jeffrey C
    -How may I help you today?

    Hi Jeffrey
    How are you?

    -I'm good.
    -How may I help you today?

    You have helped me many times today

    -Ok. How may I help you again today?

    Filipino and English are your languages?

    is there like a portion of the people there that talk English and then there's a part who speaks Filipino?

    -May I ask why you want to know that?

    No you may not

    -Then I will not answer that. If you do not have any business with Dell, then lets call it a day. Thank you for chatting here in Dell. Have a nice day.

    As the Terminator once said...
    I'll be back
    nigger
    well he didn't say that last part, that was all me
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)04:32 No.18725444
         File1310459565.jpg-(117 KB, 600x906, 1310025269936.jpg)
    117 KB
    >>18721805
    > Only with a Mac do you get a system built by the same people who make the hardware, operating system and most of the installed applications.
    > a system built by the same people who make the hardware & operating system

    I... this... what...

    SOMUCHFUCKINGRAGE.PNG
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)07:02 No.18727059
    >apple
    >good customer support


    Pick 1.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/11(Tue)07:04 No.18727071
    still going?



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