And just to get this out of the way:

>lol loser computer nerds mad that the everyday man doesn't know their loser hobby!!!

>implying expecting people to know how to use the start menu is ludicrous
hurr ur a loser for expecting me to know how to start a car, you're a mechanic don't you remember? not everyone knows what you know

>implying I act like I know more than my mechanic/doctor/plumber
lol your opinion is nothing compared to mine even though you have a degree and went to a school for it!!!

And he will never, ever get a virus from visiting those sites, brilliant.

>work at best buy
>kid is buying antec 900
>I think, cool, he's getting into system building much earlier than I did
>next day
>kid is returning the case
>"When I push the power button on the front, it won't turn on"

>>17505789

but he will.

also spyware and adware is a bitch on macs.

all the g5's at my highschool were riddled with the shit.

>client calls up
>IT SAYS THE BACKUP SERVER IS DOWN, I CAN'T BACKUP, HAVE I BEEN HACKED???
>I taped a huge post it note over the power button of the backup server that read "DO NOT TURN OFF, EVER, THIS IS THE BACKUP SERVER"
>drive out there
>he ripped it off enough so he could push the power button and turn it off

>>17505826
Yeah

http://blog.trendmicro.com/mac-sniffer-monitors-im-chats-and-rmtp-data-packets/

will be funny if someone gets his CC info

gays will always blame everyone else for the problems their lifestyle creates. liberals taught them this.

>>17505789
Don't you have someone's dick to suck?

Post computer greentext/retard stories or get out of this thread.

>>17505826
>all the g5's at my highschool were riddled with the shit
LOL, sure they sure.

That wasn't spyware and adware, that was software the school installed to stop you from being a snotnosed punk and destroying their property.

>>17505873
see
>>17505851

>>17505789
>>17505826
>>17505851
There aren't many true viruses around anymore, by that I meant file and process memory infectors, a specialised strain of malware.

>>17505873
yeah but macs dont even have internet
i know because i used my friends mac
i looked all over for the blue e
couldn't find it
macs cant into internet

>>17505873

I didnt use them.

and seriously it was adware. are you so retarded that you actually think that macs are invulnerable? and there arent virus malware and spyware for osx?

Constantly asked for advice that is often ignored, then have to fix the mess for these people. Latest case:

>Asked for portable music player advice, "are ipods good??"
>Well some are okay, but there are cheaper options that are easier to use and do a better job
>Like what?
>List some examples, spend time checking into it
>weeks go by
>'Hey I got a really expensive iPod, but can't load any music and iTunes doesn't work on my computer'
>....

>>17505802
Lol'd

>>17505851
>Once installed
They don't give students the ability to install software.

>>17505861
He is asleep, I'm not allowed to wake him or he beats me~

>>17505873
http://www.apple.com/downloads/macosx/networking_security/protectmacantivirus.html

Told, even by Apple, to the point where you're paying for MSE's equivalent

>>17505947

the people who ran these computers were stupid enough to buy windows software for the macs. they were even stupid enough to set up all the computers the same with the same admin password and yet not have them all networked with domain logins.

>>17505936
this was me 3 years ago. demand money, this will force them to listen to you or you get free money every time.

if not, your life will be lived and defined by the time from one call to the next.

change now or accept your fate

>>17505967

>The next generation security product for Mac OS X

was there a first generation?

This is a case of me being retarded

>Blocked nose due to hayfever
>Friend asks me to fix his PC
>Its full of dust
>power it on
>Inside of case seems to be glowing
>think its some ricer LED shit
>Brother comes in "Do you smell something burning?"

Shit was on fire yo

>FIX MY SHIT
>(proceed to fix shit)
>NO DON'T TOUCH THAT YOU'LL BREAK IT
>NOW MAKE IT WORK LIKE I *THINK* IT SHOULD (protip: you cant) OR ELSE I WON'T CONSIDER THE "PROBLEM FIXED" AND I WON'T PAY YOU

anyone here in another field that deals with this retardation? I can't assume it's exclusive to the computer world

>>17506012
It wasn't your fault.

>>17505952
D'awww

>>17505930
>I didnt use them.
Obviously not, otherwise you'd have written a factual response, instead of complete bullshit.

There are trojans for OSX, yes. There are trojans for every OS. Even the latest malware scare (that pops up a "your copy of Windows is infected!11!11!!" warning to entice you to install their crap) is just a trojan.

You know what the difference between trojans and malware is? With trojans you have to go through a normal install process, any time during which the person can think to themselves, "Why the fuck am I installing this?" and stop. With malware all you need to do is visit a website, after which installation occurs automatically and silently.

OSX doesn't have malware.

>>17506032
Funnily beneath the dust was an Nvidia card

>>17506017
install gentoo

>>17506051
http://reviews.cnet.com/8301-13727_7-20062597-263.html

3 seconds on google

>friend wants billards game
>show a bunch of flash based ones, and even a few great ones made by the foss community that utilize your video card and had really nice graphics
>NOPE THESE ARE ALL SHIT BECAUSE THEY AREN'T **%100 EXACTLY** LIKE THE ONE I PLAYED
>ask what he played
>games.nabisco.com, yes the company that makes oreos
>ACTIVE X
>it's worse than every billards game I've found
>he won't fucking change because he's omg scurred to take the 5 minutes to adjust to the interface/options menu of the other ones

he still loads that shitty active x billards game from nabisco every 3 hours to this day

>>17506089
>3 seconds on Google
To find the exact trojan I had described.

Boy, you are a smart one.

>>17506051

is that why osx failed within 5 minutes at pwn 2 own even after pushing over 28 security holes?

cry harder mac fag. everyone knows that there are viruses and malware and spyware for macs.

if you want to run with the big dogs you gotta put up.

>>17506089
you are dealing with an idiot/troll, please post computer stories and let's laugh and rage

>>17506118
>>17506124
>>17506114
>>17506089
>>17505952

If you're not going to post greentext or retard stories please go make another thread about your mac apologist bs or your tripfaggotry attention grabbing horseshit.

>>17506012
Same friend wouldnt pay me for fixing his PC last item untill he saw it run WoW. He had to drive home (1 hour) to get his authenticator or some shit then drive back with it even though I showed him it running other games perfectly...

>>17506221

thats why you charge by the hour.

itt: peasants justify their purchase of substitute goods

>>17506241
Dont worry, stupid cunt paid £70 for me to reinstall windows

>>17505802
I laughed, then cried.

>in class
>idiot hipster teacher is showing off his iphone
>"hey could you play a youtube video? oh wait you can't because you don't have flash"
>Hey! I do SO have flash! See?
>he takes a picture
>it flashes

>>17505802
I don't get this one.

I have the feeling something happened that is so dumb I can't even comprehend it.

>>17505733

I fucking love that image man

>sister's friend gets popup ad saying she's infected with a virus
>click here to install virus/antivirus
>she clicks
>she was on an Xbox 360

>>17506874
He bought a case thinking he wouldn't have to put anything in it.

>>17506968
....How does someone like that not drown in their cereal?

Well beat my story anyway. Dear god what purpose could these people server in the world.

>>17507037
their purpose is to work and pay you for fixing trivial shit, all you have to do is work up the balls to take their money.

also
>my story
post it!!! post it post it post it post it post it post it post it post it post it

>>17506510
...YouTube works on iPhones. It comes with an app and you also can use the html5 versi- oh wait troll nevermind

>>17507259
I can't see people that dumb making money or holding a job. I mean even pretty entry level stuff requires some ability beyond processing oxygen.

Posted one earlier but I'll do another.

>go to families house
>they just ignore issues as long as it still turns on
>only have IE and it takes 15 minutes to pull up
>nothing is backed up
>get asked to help
>can't take their tower with me
>they keep canceling malware bytes when it runs over night
>oh god we can't learn to use a new browser
>should we get McAffee again?
>fuck it run MB for a few minutes
>400 infections found in 5 minutes
>bang my head on this thing putting it all onto USB drives
>format, reinstall, update, install better software
>come back still using IE and not backing stuff up
>I know where this going and can't stop it

Not that interesting but 5min scan turned up 400 hits. I mean damn.

What pisses me off about viruses and other malware is that they're treated as scary boogeymen, but so rarely understood.

Glitches and weird graphics and the printer not working ARE (probably) NOT CAUSED BY A VIRUS. I mean that kind of thing exists, but most nasties out there are designed with theft in mind.

So for the love of god, believe me when I tell you that the virus warning you're getting is a phony. And that something is sitting in the background trying to scarf your credit card details but just cause you "havent noticed it yet" you don't trust me on this one.

>friend tells me he just bought an iPad
>me: "cool, so how do you like your tablet?"
>him:"It's not a tablet, its an iPad"
>me: "yes it is. How is it not?"
>him: "TECHNICALLY, it's a tablet, but iPads are BEYOND tablets. Their post-PC devices"

I lost faith in humanity that day...

>>17507584
This all the time this.

>Don't click anything that appears to be from your bank go to your banks website to get to it.
>Don't install shitty toolbars randomly from unsafe software
>Get software from safe sources
>But they it said free screensaver its legit and I didn't notice any problems.
>Credit card statement HOLY FUCK what did you do to my computer

I can't blame them though. Its the power of massive advertising beating through soft skulls.

I forgot what the internet looks like when you use IE, no adblocks, no script disables, no spyware prevention, and everywhere is ads telling you a virus will steal your info, melt your computer, and rape your family. These people are terrified and don't even know what they are scared of. Should be a law against this shit.

>>17507857
>Should be a law against this shit.
There are, the problem is that the interwebs is an unlawful domain. The ASA here in the UK just started attempting to take control over web advertising in terms of asserting standards and making sure people don't get lied to, but due to the net's international nature they can only apply these laws to the sites of companies based in the UK and (if it went to court) probably only those where the sites are actually hosted in the UK too. Roll on one world government and we won't need to worry about the ads anymore..

>>17507395

If you are free from your family, treat them like a customer. if not they are going to own you. Don't start with the BUT THEY'RE MY FAMILY story, you either help them and they eventually own you or else you can be free.

If you still won't change then nuke their windows, install ubuntu/mint and theme gnome like windows.

Also use teamviewer, shit has saved many, many hairs from being ripped out

>>17507964
Well I like freedom on the internet, but I see this shit everywhere in the states.

Medical commercials recommending drugs, doctors paid to recommend them, news scaring people to buy or not buy things, pressure tactic sales. Its bananas over here, but corporations own us. Its why rights here take a dicking and yet grandma downloads an mp3 and a tank shows up at her door.

Sorry for the rant, but here is one more tale.

>Hey can I check my email
>sure go for it
>linux is running
>uhh mmm nevermind I'll do it later
>windows up with bars hidden using a dock and a nice mouse and no IE
>can't find the internet guess I'll do it later
>fool proof security and I don't have to be impolite

Handy since I busted a family member with google's search suggestions...

>>17507584
this, my customers buy antiviruses, it finds one cookie it doesn't like and YOUR SYSTEM IS CORRUPTED BEYOND REPAIR HOLY FUCK THIS IS SUCH A BIG DEAL, especially for when their subscription to their AV runs out, jesus fucking christ the program writes it like it's literally the end of the world and if you don't buy this, every hacker in the world will simultaneously KNOW the very instant it runs out and all attack you at once

they don't even listen to you because there are WORDS on their screen, okay dude go pay $49.99 for a subscription again, would you toss your computer out the window if there were WORDS on your screen saying it would turn into a bomb?

>>17507851
awesome pic, added to my folder. thank you.

>>17508053
They paid me so I can't complain. Its just I encounter so few viruses and malware with so little effort it boggles me.

Linux even gnome would probably confuse them unless I could make identical to windows in naming and looks. Plus I know one uses software for work that might bitch in linux, I know one job I had I had use IE for....pissed me off.

I'll check into teamviewer.

These days though I just make a restore partition for people I know, grab their shit, nuke, and put their photos back. Or if windows is running that horrible I grab stuff while running off a LiveCD.

Agree with you though they will make you their bitch. Particularly via the phone. People have this idea that if you don't touch the computer somehow you didn't spend time researching their issue or handling the problem. Or that if it was basically figured out so you only needed to work on for a few minutes you somehow didn't spend any time.

>>17508157

This didn't happen to me nor any of my customers, but I KNOW some dumbfucks who would literally nuke the whitehouse if their computer told them to

1/2

>>17508245
good for you.

also learn how to install teamviewer with your eyes closed. If you're dealing with a real fucking retard then all you have to do is get him through the installation of teamviewer and then you can do the rest yourself because you're in.

So sad that I have to mention that, there's people I dealt with that took 25 minutes to just install teamviewer. It was a family member and I was younger at the time, but you seem independent so just always remember you have the option to say "fuck off dumbshit" and hang up. Sometimes it's just not worth the money.

2/2

I would have typed "oh also after you pay us put on a clown suit and run outside with your dick hanging out, do it, we WILL know"