i tried to make vegan mac and cheese with -

vanilla soy milk
soy cheddar
elbow macaroni

no need to continue.

>>969026

Salty cake.

[spoiler];_;[/spoiler]

>>969045

Oh, that? Everyone does that at some point.

i ruined a pot the first time i cooked couscous...

Salty pie, pizza dough without any salt, flat biscuits, pumpkin loaf with just cinnamon and no other spices.

Those are my mistakes to date.

Nothing quite like ruining a brand new $150 Creuset to ruin your day (and self esteem).

First time I tried to make ribs I somehow cooked the outside quite well without cooking the inside *at all.* Took me awhile after biting into them before I realized the center was completely raw. Still haven't been able to muster my courage to attempt making ribs again.

I somehow managed to use only half the flour required to make sugar cookies. Yeah.

Bits of shells in eggs without realizing.
Boiled noodles until it was almost mush.
Condiment sandwich when I was little... ugh.

>>969103
One time in middle school, someone replaced the baking powder with flour in Home Ec class when we were making cookies. They ended up melting into each other in the oven and hardening into a solid, baking pan-shaped sheet of crap.

>>969118

That was my end-result as well. Fun to clean up.

2 hard lessons while trying to learn to make a really good baguette:
Instructions said to spray the inside of the hot oven with water to create steam. Spray hit the light bulb, it popped spraying glass all over my bread.
Instructions said to put a pan in the over while it heads up. When the bread goes in pour a cup of water into the pan. I used a glass casserole dish. Of course it shattered.

Not a fun day.

>>969022
That would most likely have been a habanero pepper my good man.

I made unsalted chicken and dumplings. I have a hard time measuring salt into boiling pots of water when i'm unsure how much water i get left with in the end.

Also i was in the presence of augratin potatoes made with sweetened condensed milk instead of evaporated milk.

>>969132
>Instructions said to put a pan in the over while it heads up.

Thanks for the heads up.

>>969156
Lol, as you can see, I'm still traumatized by the experience.

I've smoked and cooked many a fantastic meals, but two nights ago I tried to make toast and the toaster never stopped toasting, and I never realized it was still cooking until the smoke alarm went off, and I checked the toast and it was black as charcoal.

lol.. some of the stories on 4chan ARE true

This probably doesnt count.
But one time I was sitting down to eat breakfast.
Still being half asleep, I wanted sugar, didn't even realise I had the tomato sauce bottle in hand and squirted that onto my wheat bix.

I met my bf's parents for the first time last year. They live in nz, so we were staying at their house for a few days. The second afternoon, his mum was kind enough to make me some coffee. They were in the living room and I was in the kitchen putting my milk and sugar in. I dunno why I didn't ask, but I found a little pot of what I thought was sugar and a little spoon RIGHT BY the coffee. It was nasty instant coffee so I figured I'd load it up with sugar to make it tastier.
Obviously, it was salt.

I had to sit there and make light conversation, when I'm already nervous, keeping a grin plastered all over my face while I drank the most vile concoction on the planet. I'm surprised I didn't puke.

I guess that's not really cooking... just wanted to share.

Was making a mango drink, poured in sugar to sweeten it, grabbed the salt instead. I pour myself a cup and took in a mouthful only to spit it out.

And then I had the brilliant idea to put in more sugar to offset the salt.. yea, that didn't go over too well. Wasted mango drink and I learned to always check for the sugar before pouring it in.

>Once sampled a curry where yonder cook had >mistaken some small bell-pepper looking orange thing for a small bell pepper... it was some chili thing from hell (if pepper 1 is, red chili is 6, this was a 9)
it wasn't just spicy - it wasn't spicy at all - it just hurt... in your mouth

That's a habanero, a scotch bonnet pepper.
It's the most common of the way too hot to eat peppers.

Fond memory of mine:
My little brother and I were like, 4 and 5. We wanted to make something for my dad to show our appreciation of him. We ended up making Mustard and Ketchup, mixed together, on a plate. And nothing else.

brown rice. didnt use enough water. suddenly it sounded like there was popcorn popping in the pot. took 4 days of soaking to clean that pop

>>969426

pop should be pot lol

I ruined a soup once. Pic related.

Apparently the main ingredient in the traditional Tollhouse chocolate chip cookie recipe that's responsible for the cookies spreading out and flattening when they bake is brown sugar. I found this out when I made cookies and forgot the brown sugar, because I accidentally made 3 dozen little ball-shaped cookies. But they rose just fine because I remembered the leavener, and they tasted okay because I remember the white sugar.

Also when I was around 11 or so I was making some kind of recipe (a cheese dip or something?), and didn't know the difference between a clove of garlic and a head of garlic. I ended up chopping and using probably 7 or 8 cloves of garlic before I realized that sounded like a hell of a lot, and stopped. I ate the dish anyway because I fucking love fresh garlic, but no one else liked it.

I made pancakes, but I forgot to oil the pan before pouring in the first one, so I freaked the fuck out and started trying to lift it and spray under. It tasted fine but looked like it was already digested.

to-go burger, once I got it home I realized there was no meat.

I set the toaster oven to the oven directions and caught the toster over on fire...

I'll honestly admit, I have many, many... many failures in the kitchen.
I'm always experimenting with my neverending cabinet of spices and seasonings, trying to find some undiscovered, godly flavor.

Hmm....my problems are normally making things too salty. Like making a sauce for noodles, and wanting a bit of beef flavor. Three bullion cubes oughta be enough, right? So I had salt flavored noodles for lunch that day.

Are there any kind of meat flavorings like bullion cubes that don't make everything taste like salt?

>>969132

Use hot water next time, not cold.

first time making cookies by myself
probably about 9, didn't have butter in the house. had that country crock stuff though...
those poor cookies never stood a chance.

>>969022

wanted too make a plain vanilla cake, didnt have white suger, so used brown suger

decided it looked more like cookie batter, panned it accordingly

i was ashamed of myself

i ruined a lasagna by fucking it

>>969570
I bet you didn't call it the next day either.

Have some yummy eggs in a basket I made.

This is the less-burnt side.

I was in the middle of being taught how to cook chicken for a second time and I was about to apply some seasoning to the meat, when I made a comment about how I was making sure to not apply too much when I accidentally unscrewed the seasoning lid instead of popping the top.

Half of the container's contents went into the pan.

Decided to deep-fry some homemade buffalo wings... My pal and I did it in a skillet... End result: oil burns and dorm smoke alarms can really ruin your day.

I put my dick in the mashed potatoes

I deep fried a frozen turkey. oops.

I have made a couple of mistakes here and there but so far everything I made has been edible. At least by me anyways.