+Tomato: The tramp that's good at what she does (and what doesn't she do?), but has such an endearing demeanor that you can't help but forgive her time and time again for her transgressions.

And tomatillos? The myspace angle of the tomato.

+Brusselsprouts: Picked last in kickball until he grows a fuckton in highschool and can beat everyone else to a pulp.

+Pizza. The cool rich kid with all of the toys who grows up to be a middle manager in a failing company. He'll an hero at 45 if he doesn't have a heart attack first.

(Pizza and Tomato have a long history together. They'll eventually settle down, but she'll always keep various exciting lovers on the side to offset the stability of Pizza.)

+Apple pie: Patriotic, far right-winged, ultra-conservative soccer mom, living in the bible belt. OR Soccer mom: Store-bought, frozen, gluten/wheat-free, artificially flavored apple pie. whereas... Real, homemade apple pie: Everyone's favourite grandma :D

+Mountain Dew. He was a skateboarder in high school. Now he sits around on 4chan all day trying to act like his fat ass has moved from his chair in hours.

+Starfruit: That kind of fucked up homeless kid who was picked on in middle school, but then adopted by trendy kids in high school who felt sorry for her. Useless but attractive when viewed from the right angle.

>>1578979
+Tofu: that annoying, clingy girl who likes whatever her cooler and more likable friends like. Spends a lot of time daydreaming about being famous, but has absolutely no talent and winds up living alone with eight cats. Also, leeches the style and essence of those who surround her.

+Soy sauce: Your only black friend. He's lots of fun and always makes a party better, but there only so many places you can take him without him seeming completely out of place.

+Clementine: the shy, younger sister of the orange who is very clean and blushes frequently. Is a homebody, but if you pay attention to her, she blossoms.

+Surge, Mountain Dew's older brother had his 15 minutes back in college. People only think of him in a nostalgic sense now. Can only get laid by offering to buy booze for jailbait these days.

+Banana: Smug, annoying douchebag who constantly fucks everybody's shit up and thinks he can get away with it because he's so adorably off-the-wall.

+Plantain: banana's fat Mexican friend who no one likes.

+Chocolate Milk: one of those painfully beautiful racially mixed kids who for some reason never has a boyfriend/girlfriend. Works with kids.

+Onion: That popular kid who's kind of a dick but everyone's pretty much friends with him anyways. Very loud and raucous. Italian heritage. Laughs too loudly. Would definitely punch people in the face on the Food Network's version of Jersey Shore.

+Potato: that kid who isn't super attractive but is very popular and friendly. Super personality and always has the most attractive boyfriends/girlfriends. Has over 500 pictures on Facebook, all taken by other people at parties.

+Iceberg lettuce: That really pretty chick and a nice enough body with long blond hair that everybody seems to like though she brings nothing to the table in talents or substance. Conversations with her aren't unpleasant but they seem to be about nothing.

>>1578981
+Parsley- Always wanting to party but usually gets brushed aside for her flashier cousin who's been abroad a million times, Cilantro.

+Lemon: Really festive in your face happy guy, always in a fun mood, though sometimes too much to keep up with.

+Orange: Lemon's older more subdued brother. He went to law school but just opened up an antiques shop.

+Lime: Lemon and Orange's hot younger cousin. Lots of fun, but very serious at times...really likes ethnic men.

+Fried chicken:fat. lazy. unemployed. greasy. gets into fights. has 8 kids. OR The preppy white girl.
At one time or another, she's been eaten by everyone

+Bacon: The fat, charming guy that always gets the numbers. Perfect wingman, too. Runs kind of in the same social circle as Potato, but has a bit of an edge because he can mack on the sweeter type and get away with it.

+Kiwi: Hipster-without-being-pretentious-about-it exchange student that doesn't shave her legs or pits but otherwise is generally cool. Finds all the hideout spots and tricks to life before everyone else even notices her there. Has dreads and overalls.

too much free time?

>>1578982
+Eggnog: The drunk relative you only see around the holidays. Always confuses your name with your siblings.

+Pomegranate: was famous in the 80's, but isn't a has-been; has new, successful and more modest career as an author and activist for a non-controversial cause.

+Rice: the majority of caucasian north american peons exploited by government and industry. They appear to stick together most of the time, but if you push them even a little they fall apart. Mostly bland, require some excitement to feel like their lives are meaningful.

+Red onion: Mysterious Spanish guy that women love but you think he's kind of greasy. Wears shiny button-up shirts. Flashy, but alright once you get to know him. White onion and him sometimes show up at the same parties and it's awkward.

+Salad: that 40-ish year old woman with a few kids, but they're all at university now (had them young), and who gets invited to all the high society parties because she has to be there, but only a few people actually like her, the rest just sort of tolerate her. pretty uptight, but sometimes she can be pretty crazy, depends on who she's hanging with. When drunk, she hangs around these three beans and well... you know what goes down ;P

>>1578984
No, these aren't mine (well, a couple are) but the rest are other anonymous's opinions. Kinda abstract, yeah, but I thought it would still be a cool idea :]

>>1578981
>racially mixed kids who for some reason never has a boyfriend/girlfriend. Works with kids.

What the fuck? Is this some kind of stereotype? You've just described me perfectly.

chestnut: the one semi-friend you've known for forever that your mom insists you keep on inviting to your parties but you really don't want to. proves worth from time to time.

>>1578995
Don't be silly, Chocolate Milk doesn't have any hands to type with :P

Pho is the Asian kid that everyone likes. He has a thick Vietnamese accent, but he's cool with whoever.

OP, can we change Orange to:
The filthy slut that likes to be squeezed, peeled open, sucked, eaten and can accommodate 8 fingers?

Which leads me onto:
Professional chef tip: Get all the juice out of an orange by forcing fingers from both hands into an orange half and balling fists. Turn 45 degrees and repeat.

Jicama is the albino wingman of Mr. Potato. Only difference is that Jicama has a sweet side to him.

>>1579010
Sounds hot. I'll add it.

Oatmeal: Definitely a morning person and a harcore gym rat. His one vice is Lil Miss Brown Sugar though, and they can be caught sometimes under the bleachers before a game

Sriracha: Born nobility at birth, but endured a 'bloodless coup' at the age of 13.
Bloodless, my ass.
Parents killed, now spends time brooding under US political asylum running a hipster metro alt. restaurant
on Manhattan Island.
Frequently hangs with angsty Miami Cuban post-revolutionary-esques.
Toys with ideas of opening MacDonalds chains across rural asia.
Abuses many drugs, despite my warnings.
I told that fool: your parents entrusted my family with your well being.
He laughs, turns, and does another line.
Fucking royalty.
Only we can truly despise our own kind.

So, now, he's in to the Russians for 400k,
And I'm screaming at him through a fucking alcoholic-induced diabetic trance.

Great.
Just.
Fucking.
Great.
Here comes fucking King Fucking Sriracha's Son's appointed guardian.

I fucking hate that douche.

And I'm visibly wasted, and 'Junior's' getting hauled off by the Pig American EMD's.

Now I'm getting dragged off to the nearest state embassy, holy fucking shit, and there's my dad, screaming about international shit I couldn't possibly understand through my current drug-induced fugue.

This isn't happening,
tell me this is some hallucination.

>>1579054
Holy shit.

Wow. Just wow.

More like this please!

Mr Potato is a master of disguise...

and doesn't afraid of anyone.

I think I want to marry Chocolate Milk now

bump before bed

These are pretty fun, do more OP and sriracha guys.

Oh Red Onion, you mysterious greasy sexy.

>>1579067
You want WHAT?!?!
MORE!?!?!

Someone tell me he didn't say 'more', I'm gonna trip!!!
Somebody get my bodyguards on this asshole, already!!!

Holy.
Fucking.
Shit.

For everything anyone, anywhere has ever held holy,
Don't dare wish this lifestyle, son!!!

Let me tell you a . . ."hypothetical" story.

So, Srircacha's used his indo-arab-fucking ethnic high roller charm on all these young split tails at the local DC pickup---talking about how his dad is Mr. High-Fucking-Ponce-Nuts, and what-not
(At this point I'm totally regretting my father's not dead, cause I could totally declare war on his Player-ass right abouts now)
When these Iranian know-nothings roll in claimin to be the Shah's grandsons.

No big, we cool.

Oh SHIT.

I guess we AIN'T cool.

Fucking 'Racha starts in about true lineage and shit, and sayin how they best not touch any tail in this club---cause it ALL HIS [sic].

Long story short,
Pop's Blackwater team rolls in,
This comes to that,
Now I have to claim I was "Sleeping up the night before training for the America's Cup."

Shiiiiiiiiit, nigga, I ain't never set foot on a yacht before.
But Rach is facing 15 to 25, and now I have to learn to pull rope and lean with the fucking wave.

Life be rough, yo.

Bisuke-tan reprezentin' KFC biscuits!

Habanero-tan and Milk-tan
Translation:
1: Wow, Milk-san's milk sure is good.
2: Milk-san, one more please!
3: ...
4: Amazingly... big, it is.

Pancake-tan

So, one time,
Rach's cousin---or whatever, is getting married.
Great.
So, his dead parents and mine being royalty and friends and all that literal royal bullshit, we have this "Royal Invitation" to the wedding----OBLIGATORY, or WAR.
FUCK
Now wait just a Goddamned minute, muthafuckas!!!

I had a fucking "photo shoot" set up with this Brazilian---stress the BRA part, who thinks I'm some sort of philanthropist businessman looking to help 'disadber' . . . 'disberag' . . . 'disbandaged',
FUX IT, I was scammin tail, Happy?!

Now my assistant's canceling my dream scam and I'm flying to RACHes cousin's wedding with my total buzzkill of a family, with NO FUCKING DRINKS on the family jet---thanks to Dad's alcoholism.

So, we arrive, hOOOO-fUUUckin-RAAAAAh.

But, total, mindfuck trouble here, sti/ck/ydi/ck/s:
Rach's cousin is a total SMOKIN HOOOOOTTTTTTYYYY!!!!!!!

I must have been staring for an hour, cause when I finally look over at S., he's giving me that sick grin I see every time a pair of identical triplets come rolling into the club.

Not.
Fucking.
Good.

Not at all.

Rach Knows.
Given his propensity for debauchery and history of tomfoolery, it's only a matter of time before he has my naked body pressed---longingly, against his cousins firm, lustfull frame in some side hall utility closet in shameful, international sin.

>>1578995
Are.. Are you my Spanish teacher?

>>1579235
si

>>1579235
oui

>>1579153
>>1579131
>>1579125
All damn cool. I also love the Habanero-tan comic strips. Usually make me laugh.

>>1579100
Verbiace, that drawing is really awesome! Do more please!!!!!! :D

Instant noodles are tsundere.

They are hard and cold but after you put some hot water (3 mins) they become soft and delicious.


>It's not like I want you to eat me or anything.

>>1579837

FFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

>>1578975
Stop spamming AɳoɳTalk.com with your stupid shit.

>>1579837

MIND = BLOWN

fresh eggs: loli. The younger they are, the better they taste.

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>>1579807
Is that by the chick that did Peach Girl?

>>1579138
DID YOU GET WITH SRIRACHA'S COUSIN OR WHAT!!

>>1578974
Stop spamming AɳoɳTalk.com with your stupid shit.

>>1579861
Oh my god, /ck/.
...I died. Moar plz.