>Slighly overweight, no landwhale, but I have a ew extra pounds I'm currently working on sheddid off
>Still have some marks from acne when I was a teenager. They're iddapearing, hough
>Shitty higiene
>Unfun
>Paranoid
>basement dweller
>Shitty hair

oh and also
>fat and ugly
>no money

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I'm straight lovable, son!

>small penis
>kinda overweight
>hopeless romantic
>low self esteem
>shitty clothes
>paranoid
>pseudo-intellectual
>ugly

>>491764980
>pseudo-intellectual
3edgy5me

>socially awkward
>never have anything good to talk about
>still in love with ex, even after 2 years
>lazy

>>491765440
How the fuck is somebody essentially calling themselves stupid edgy?

>I'm a little socially awkward.
>I don't go out to clubs or bars.
>I have a scowl on my face all the time, however this is natural and feels comfortable to me. I often get told to 'cheer up'.
>Most people aren't in to the shit I'm in to.
>I prefer to speak only when I need to and dislike small talk although I can force it if needs be. This sometimes creates awkward atmospheres, I can tell.
>I don't like meeting new people and don't make an effort to keep them around, not that I care.
>I'm severely bored by life and wish I was never born. I do get severely depressed but even if i were not, I'd still prefer to be non-existent. And no, I won't an hero and you know why; the obvious reasons.
>When I see family members or people I know outside, I will just say 'Hey' and walk on instead of stopping to chat. I know this probably seems like a douchey thing to so but I really son't fucking do small talk, it's the same shit.
>Another thing is that people seem to get weirded out by me, I can tell sometimes the way they look/act around me, like they shouldn't talk to me. Maybe it's the face.
>I also hate most females too.

>>491766232
it used to be 2edgy4me but it didn't take long for the cancer to take it over.
Namely >>491765440

>annoying voice
>to shy in some situations but too forward in others
>I drive a v6 mustang
>I make promises to girls I know I damn well cant keep with full knowledge that its going to bite me square in the ass later, but I still do it
>I always think the grass is greener on the other side
>I have a terrible farmers tan
>I always seem like I'm trying to one up somebody even though most of the time I'm not

>>491764220 (OP)
>cheating ex broke me
That's it. I'm handsome, smart and have a large penis, but she fucked me up beyond repair.

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I have the opposite of social awkwardness problems

>socially confident
>honest
>blunt
>abrasive
>unkind at times
>laughs at other's misfortunes
>manipulative
>compulsive liar
>enjoys making people feel uncomfortable/angry
>takes pleasure in, even orchestrates the downfall of those I dislike
>self centered
>selfish, will focus on my needs and wants before giving out favors
>only deals with extended friend group because it feels nice to be needed, and I could use the favors
>generally believed to be a psychopath by those who know me well, but that's not true.
>3/10 face, 6/10 body
>also, cheesy sense of humor (pic related)

>social awkward
>Hate going outside during the summer
>A little overweight by 7 pounds for my age
>Low self esteem
>Also really shy around new people

>kinda over weight
>unevitibly terrible with first impressions

>Scars
>Scars
>Scars.

Not self-inflicted. That shit is the most disgusting bullshit. Operations and granulation tissue. Bitches dont like ugly scars.

>don't want people around me
>rather spend my days alone
>keeping cell-phone shut 95% of the time
>fuck off everyone
>leave me alone

>not depressed
>not overweight
>not virgin

>>491767804
overweight for your age or height? are there certain constraints for weight by age or something

I don't know. Mostly that I don't go out of my way to be in social situations (i.e. bars) anymore. I work and gym during the week, and race/track motorcycles during the weekends when I can afford tires and track time. My routine has secluded me from my all ready small circle of friends. My lack of interest in doing anything else has prevented me from making or keeping any new friends.

>>491768531
pics

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I'm basically this guy minus successful self employment.
Still getting decent tail and affection form several women on a regular basis so you nigglets have no excuses.

>>491770984

Majority of them located on my back. Can't bother struggling to take pictures of my back right now. But they are ugly, many and large. So if any of you got a few pimple-scars or average-sized surgery scars, be happy. granulation tissue equals months of pain and fucking terrible scars.

>>491771786
as long as theyre not on your face nobody could give a rats ass and youll probably seem more interesting if anything.

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>>491767672
Oh, and

>whines a lot
>condescending at times
>annoyingly high opinion of self
>argumentative
>indifferent to suffering

>Ugly
>Slightly over weight

These are the only reasons i can think of, yet no girl wants to fuck or be in a relationship with me.

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>short
>no tits
>highly opinionated
>acne
>annoying voice
>internet dweller

Would you guys say 6 1/2 inches is small for a dick?

>>491764980
>>491764220 (OP)

I highly doubt you whip out your penis as the first thing on a date, so that should not be in your list of what drives women away.

And on the off chance you do get to the 'lets see each other naked and possibly have sex' I highly doubt it was your small penis's fault for your loneliness.
If you have a small penis and cannot please a woman, you are just plain bad at having sex

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>>491773009
>implying porno peen is average

>ultra skinny
>beta
>terrified to actually initiate anything, will not ask on dates, will not initiate sex

Otherwise I'm not shit-tier looks and am comfortable about my dick length, its just i cannot be alpha for the life of me

>>491773208
i ain't implying shit, that was a serious question?

You know why you're all "unloveable"? It's because none of you have any fucking confidence and attractive qualities, so you blame it on being ugly, or too nice, or some other pigeonholing bullshit.

The ONLY way any of you will ever get over your problems with women is by stopping with this bullshit. Being all sad about not having a gf is a typical response people have when they're unhappy about problems they don't want to deal with. Getting a girl will NOT solve anything at all. You have to deal with your own problems first before you will be attractive to any woman, because when you do, you'll be content with your own life and not care so much about this shit. Then you'll have confidence, and women like that.

Looks have VERY little to do with it (unless you're excessively hideous or beautiful) as long as you know how to play women properly. Sorry if this isn't written well but I'm fucking sick of seeing threads like this full of beta faggots who think they need a girl to be happy.

>>491772790
Prolly cause you're not trying hard enough.

>>491773646
Fair point.
RAEP TIME THEN

>half nigger, half cracker. Not even half something cool.
>concurrent fear of both loneliness and intimacy
>smokes too much weed and cigarettes
>writes too much
>shitty hygiene, sometimes
>high pitched voice, still sound like i did as a teenager

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>>491773406
>>491773009

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>>491773775
Well, you could try, talking to them. If you can make her laugh, you have a shot.

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-slightly overweight
-severe trust issues
-small tits
-anger issues
-pushes everyone away if they try to get close
-can't talk to religious people without making fun of their religion
-no real talents besides cooking
-no desire whatsoever to work
-allergic to greentext

>>491773970
Yeah i'm not actually bad at talking to women or making them laugh or anything like that, its just i'm kinda shit at starting conversations and breaking the ice ect...

>>491773828
concurrent fear of both loneliness and intimacy

Holy shit are you me?

Also you can fix the shitty hygiene so do it.

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>>491772862

>short?

Unless we're talking less than 4.8 feet you've got nothing to complain about.

>no tits

If you have a great body it really doesn't matter much. Besides, the shape is much more important than the size. There are lots of flat-chested girls who look incredible.

>highly opinionated

Well fuck... work on your personality then. Maybe just try to keep some shit to yourself.

>acne

There's lots of shit you can do about that. Google is your friend.

>annoying voice

Ok I gotta give you this one. There's not much you can do about an annoying voice except have some sort of surgery and even that isn't guaranteed to work. +1 for you. Or is it -1? You know what I mean...

>internet dweller

Unless that chicken in the pic is keeping you as his Fritzel-bitch down there you really have nothing to stop you from going outside.

Oh and one last thing... If that pic is supposed you you've also forgotten to mention that you're a nigger. That's a HUGE negative.

>>491774204
Ok, lets say you see a woman in the video section at Walmart just browsing. She is reading the back of a generic DVD(lets say Inception), obviously she isn't seriously shopping. What do you do/say?

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>>491773406
average.is around 5-6" so no 6.5" is not small.

/b/ since your all alpha, help me with this, I'm great at making friends with women, but i can never get past the friend part. I litterally never have the balls to flirt or do anything.

>>491773843
well then.
I'v been told that it's small by more than one person, 2 of them being female.

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>fat
>ugly
>Depressed
>No money
>Worthless
>To anxious to have real fun
>Only here until my mother and grandmother die

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>>491774510

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>>491774023
everytiem

>>491774204
Oh dude, open with a corny joke. "How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the ice!" It's so dumb it's funny, after that, try to be original and you're set.

>asian, average penis (5.5-6)
>long hair, acne scars
>yellowed teeth, I was a terrible child (probably could get whitened but also lazy)
>lazy
>deep trust issues
>loved once, never again
>vidya

>>491774550
Then get some
Do you remember in grade school when someone found out that you had a crush on them, they seemed to be MORE interested in you?
Trust me from personal experience, when a girl realizes that someone is attracted to them, that guy suddenly become just a bit more attractive and they start to think about them in that way. Acting like a friend keeps the friend goggles on, and until she takes those off you have 0% chance to ever be evaluated as a potential partner.

>>491766432
Are you me?

>>491774490
Fuck...
Have you seen that before? Followed up by asking her to come back to my place where we can watch it, if shes not doing anything later, because it will save her from buying a copy.

>lol, just realized how shit i really am at this.

>asian
>no muscles plus a bit overweight
>get stressed if I get around people. think I have asperger.

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>>491774452
Thank you, I'm 5'4", my body is eh, sometimes I can't help myself, tried everything, I know, I don't feel like it, and no that's not me, I'm white as fuck.

>transsexual
>terrible teeth
>cutter for 12 years
>kinda psycho

>socially retarded
>awkward
>low self-esteem

I guess that makes me a betafag, not like i care anyways

>>491767672
Danny?

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>Quiet around people i dont know
>I speak my mind
>Dont treat women specially
>5/10 look wise
>Loud voice, sound like im yelling when really im just trying to communicate.
>Always irritable
>Never really happy and enjoyable to be around
>I smoke.
>Alcohol makes me angry, sad and confused.

I understand why i dont have a girl or many friends, i wouldnt befriend me either.

>>491774510
see
>>491774671

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>>491774023

-slightly overweight

Easily fixed with a bit of exercise.

-severe trust issues

Well then start hanging out with people you know you can trust and then expand from there.

-small tits

See >>491774452

-anger issues

Got this one myself so can't really help you there... What I do is fantasize about how I would kill people. It helps... a little bit.

-pushes everyone away if they try to get close

Well then if you know it's a problem then how about NOT doing that? Try noticing the pattern next time you end up in a situation like that and take the risk. Otherwise you'll be miserable forever.

-can't talk to religious people without making fun
of their religion

Yes you can... Don't pretend to be that autistic. It's call shutting your mouth and smiling until the looney is satisfied. I do it every day.

-no real talents besides cooking

No pain, no gain. Also cooking isn't half bad. inb4 women belong in the kitchen.

-no desire whatsoever to work

I'm guessing you're trying to say that you're unmotivated. Well like I said earlier: No pain, no gain. Work hard now and you can walk above the rest of the worker bees in the future.

-allergic to greentext

Once again you're just being edgy. Instead of trying to be unique by being obnoxious do something that will actually make you stand out in a positive way.

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>realist
>honest
>simple

>>491775330
NO!
that is far too direct.
"Thats a really good movie, one of my favorites" would be the opening line. Followed by you talking a bit about it. Asking her what her favorite movie is, and then saying that you either heard good things about it if you never seen it or that its one of your favorites also. Then act like you need to leave(in a rush, appointment) but say "Before I go, and this may seem a bit rash, could I contact you on facebook? I felt comfortable talking with you and would love to chat more with you"

Its not hard, just start off slow and non-desperate.

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>>491775610
once you say:
>transsexual
this kind of shit is a given:
>cutter for 12 years
>kinda psycho

>really skinny
>also tall so I look lanky and awkward
>above average penis size but I still feel like it's small
>pale
>quiet

I don't think a lot of guys realize that a good number of girls like nerdy, clever, hilarious guys. One of the best relationships I've ever had was with a guy who has a lot of similarities as you guys. 4/10, low self esteem, pimply, slightly smelly, silly voice, unstylish, etc, but it didn't matter because his personality made everything about him very attractive to me. I'm a 7/10 but I'm not going to put a picture of myself on /b/, so don't bother. We broke up because he was too busy with school all the time to see me very much.
Chubby, squishy, cute Asian guy who knew how to be a good bitch for me occasionally. Miss that.

>>491764220 (OP)
I'm a land whale ( 6"3 350lbs ) , I have teeth that look like I smoke meth from a degenerative enamel disorder. I have massive bitch tits.

I'm super lazy, way under motivated and just feel like nothing is worth the effort.

I'm so fucking worthless, I don't know why I'm still alive.

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>>491774023
I don't know who you are, but I like you, seeing as we are in a similar position.

>>491764220 (OP)
>implying I don't love myself already and that's all that matters
You niggers need to learn that it's what's on the inside that counts and that you don't need verification from some greedy materialistic whore to know that you guys are fucking made of awesome. Everyone in this thread is lovable in their own way and just needs a little confidence in themselves in order to realize that. Believe in yourself and you can do anything, and I fucking mean anything. The world is your burrito, go forth and fuck it senseless.

I'm a girl and I have a dick

Reading all these comments makes me feel so good about myself and glad to be alive, thanks /b/ for cheering me up once again.

>>491776378
Shit, i'm honestly much better at talking in person with them, AFTER i get to know them.
But i'm horribly shit at talking to them over the internet or texting, mainly because i don't know how to keep conversations flowing and it gets kinda awkward.

>>491776398
That picture caught me off guard and i laughed my ass off.
Thanks for that.

>>491764220 (OP)
post cock

>>491776398

i think i'm kinda psycho, even as trannies go. masochistic, ex junkie, diagnosed borderline. i'm a wonderful person to be around.

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>>491775019

>asian, average penis (5.5-6)

Nothing wrong with either of those two things.

>long hair, acne scars

Get a haircut and some laser surgery (if you can afford it).

>yellowed teeth, I was a terrible child (probably
could get whitened but also lazy)

You fuckin' wrote the answer to your problem in the problem description. You deserve it unless you do something about it.

>lazy

I used to be lazy too. Then I worked out and hated it. Then I made it a routine and got "addicted". Now I feel dead inside like I used to (and I'm sure you all do) if I don't exercise regularly.

>deep trust issues

Talk to a psychologist and huge your mommy... fuck do I know. One of those should work.

>loved once, never again

Melodramatic as fuck and yes you will unless you wanna die alone. Don't be that pathetic.

>vidya

Nothing wrong with vidya unless you're obsessed about it.

>>491764220 (OP)
Also, some women have a more shallow vagina - not all chicks are size-queens.

>>491764220 (OP)
wat?
this

Wouldnt say im unloveable, not really looking for a girl right now but i do have some things that would turn a girl away

>alcoholic
>got a dui a few months ago
>smoke almost a pack a day
>have shitty job

Ill work on things eventualy

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>>491776637
>land whale
>unmotivated
>Worthless, don't know why I'm alive

Are you me?

I actually have a wife and she tells me she is madly in love with me but I just can't believe it, probably because I hate myself so much so how could anyone else love me?

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>i tend to lose interest in people
>i kinda get dramatic at times
>im narcisstic
>i lie to make myself feel better
>i adjust the way i am to the people i talk to
>i have a tooth gap
>i can get paranoid/hypochondriac if you let me

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>>491776421

>really skinny

Work out and eat lots of fatty food + protein. When you start getting a bit of flab you can switch to a normal diet or a protein one. Your choice and not exactly hard to do. Do it, faggot.

>also tall so I look lanky and awkward

See answer to previous problem.

>above average penis size but I still feel like it's small

This one should read "I'm a whiny bitch because I'm not satisfied with having more than everyone else, I want A LOT more.". Be happy with what you've got in that regards.

>pale

Tan.

>quiet

Probably because you don't have anything to talk about. Read some books, articles and anything really. Get a hobby. Once you meet people with similar interests/knowledge a conversation will happen almost by itself.

>>491767672
You're so insecure

>>491773009
That's a good size.

>>491767672
Oh, you forgot to add:

>an edgy underaged faggot on /b/ pretending like he's a sociopath to impress people

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>>491764220 (OP)
>white boi
>5 inch penis
>smoker, dipper, snuffer
>smelly musician
>nasally voice
>string bean body (but short)
>manic depressive (on drugs to fix it, but still...)
>alcoholic
>three sisters, no brothers or dad. I am essentially a woman
>I grew a moustache because I was bored and it only makes me less attractive

>I sell drugs as my primary source of income.
>I tend to have a very addictive personality. I've only ever been truly addicted to booze but I kicked that and ever since I've just jumped around with other drugs you can't do every day.
>I'm lazy.
>I'm paranoid, have obsessive compulsive tendencies.
>I have a fat fetish that prevents me from loving a woman for her true self rather than just her body.
>My dick is decent when I'm hard but looks like a baby cock when it's flacid.
>I'm a failed writer. Or a drug addict that wants to be a writer. They tend to go hand in hand.
>I could make a lot of money doing what I do if I had my shit together and didn't turn every deal into a bender as soon as the money gets in my hands.

>>491764220 (OP)
>neo-nazi
>narcissist
>overly self concious
>can be alpha male or neckbeard aspie but never fucking normal
>have no care for over peoples emotions
>too high standards
>too be continued

>>491778867
Maybe you're paranoid because of your source of income?
I used to sell LSD and i got wicked paranoia but maybe thats just because im a puss puss.

>me am bizarro unloved

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>>491778007

>i tend to lose interest in people

That's either because you expect them to entertain you and you can't bring anything interesting to the table yourself or you just happen to run around a boring crowd of people. Either way go travel and meet new people is always sound advice so that's what you get.

>i kinda get dramatic at times

Yeah I bet you're that type... Doesn't have to be drama all the time to be fun. Don't start fights unless there's a good reason to.

>im narcisstic

Well so is 99.99% of the rest of the populaton. The key is to hide it well. Work on your acting skills or get over yourself.

>i lie to make myself feel better

That's just a weak display of character right there. If you know you do it you also know you can stop and actually do something about your problems instead. You'll feel much better then... unless you like the drama, that is.

>i adjust the way i am to the people i talk to

So does everybody else. It's called socializing and adapting. Nothing wrong with that.

>i have a tooth gap

That can be fixed via a good dentist + braces.

>i can get paranoid/hypochondriac if you let me

That's just to get attention and you know it. Grow up.

ugly poor small penis

everything else is wonderful i've been fucked by genetics

>ANYTHING5.25 INCHES OR BIGGER ISN'T SMALL

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>>491779260
>tfw when helpful nigger ignores me.

>>491764220 (OP)
Your name wouldnt be West would it?

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>>491776528
He looked a lot like this.

>>491779641
What did you look like?

>>491779086
I sell LSD in bulk but I don't really do my own shit all that much because at the rate I pick up it's just not practical to dose myself a few times a week. Plus a few of the kids I've supplied over the years fucked themselves up royally by splitting vials with their girlfriends and shit like that.

I've always been paranoid, before I started doing drugs. It isn't really a "peek through the blinds with bloodshot eyes for FBI agents" paranoia, but more of a tendency to take small problems and speculate them into huge things. In short, mountains out of molehills.

>asshole
>misogynistic
>Every girl thats ever liked me I've become a total dick
>Always want what I can't have
>Don't like sports or care to exercise ever
>Listen to electronic music and heavy metal
>Elitist about intelligence

threads like this belong on /r9k/ not /b/.
Jesus christ, you faggots are pathetic.

>slightly pudgy
>annoying voice
>ginger hair
>socially inept due to a childhood of being beaten senseless by bullies, thus giving me an irrational fear of meeting new people
>not many friends, most are vapid cunts I cant tolerate, the others are good friends that I feel are distancing themselves from me
>6/10 looks
>horrible posture (if you saw that pic with the different postures that popped up a few days ago im the head forward type)
>feet stink to high heaven during summer
>bisexual and yet its been nearly 2 years since I last got laid
>denied my college degree and internship at a restaurant in NY because one of my teachers hated me for no reason and failed me even though I went to class every day and turned in every piece of homework
>smoke tons of weed
>nearing tinfoil hat status to keep the NSA out of my brain
>hate extreme heat (read; anything over 100 degrees)
>no job
>no money
>truck I cant drive cause lolnoemone
>live with my grandparents
>rarely go outside

though if I get the job Im waiting to hear back on I'll be living a totally opposite life from what I am now

Living in a tent electricity free for 3 months might be just what I need to get my life on track

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>>491779961
>Listen to electronic music and heavy metal
>Elitist about intelligence

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>>491778771

>white boi

implying being white is anything but a blessing.

>5 inch penis

It's motion of the ocean, not the size of the sea. That's actually true. Read up on it and work on your technique and you can be a sex god with nothing but a stump. Not that you probably get laid much to begin with but you get my point.

>smoker, dipper, snuffer

Use nicotine patches and eventually quit altogether.

>smelly musician

Take a shower and you'll be nothing but a musician, which is 100% positive (unless you're a terrible musician, ofc).

>nasally voice

You're a musician, not a singer. Blow your jew nose and have surgery if it's really that big of a problem.

>string bean body (but short)

Workout fixes most body issues that aren't caused by disease. Do that.

>manic depressive (on drugs to fix it, but still...)

Yeah well at least you have the pills. Could be worse. MUCH worse.

>alcoholic

Can't blame you for this one but still... Just cut back. Never quit completely since that never works out well (in my experience).

>three sisters, no brothers or dad. I am essentially a woman

Work out and you'll become confident. Start hanging out with more male friends (if you have any).

>I grew a moustache because I was bored and it only makes me less attractive

Lol are you really this dumb? Shave that shit. You think Hitler walked around like that because he was cursed with a mustache that wouldn't go away no matter what he did? Maybe so, but that's not the point here. You certainly don't have any curse (that I know of) so quit bitching and shave it. Or don't. You could grow a beard. THAT if anything would make you seem manlier.

>i'm judgmental as fuck and think i'm better than everyone else
>i do treat those who get close enough to me like absolute shit, then i'm the one who dumps them
>won't let anyone get close to me as i inherited a shit tonne when i was 20 and have built up my assets since, don't want no fucker being able to take my jew gold.

>>491779824
Thats exactly what it was for me, i didnt really trust any of the people i sold to and everytime i heard a police siren my blood ran cold. I would die if i sold hard drugs.

Why is calling yourself an asshole or some other easily fixed negative trait an ok then

If being an asshole is driving people away then STOP IT