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>>464309903 (OP)
bump

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a baw thread sounds nice right about now, lets keep this alive my /b/ro, how was your day?

despite the fact that I have a happy life, without relationship problems or anything, I've had this nagging feeling that everything is pointless since probably 14 years old.

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>>464310794
It was pretty sad, now that I think of it. I woke up around 2. Asked a 'friend' if he wants to go play a pick up game of basketball or something since it was a nice day. He makes up some terrible excuse. So I go down to a local basketball court and I was there alone while there was 30 + people there. I finally got to play 1v1 someone but it was so dark you could barley see the net. I still beat his 14-2. Then I came home and went on 4chan.

>pic realted
>how I felt

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bump

Someone share a depressing story or something.

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>>464311568
At least you have the motivation to get out doors and try. go thank the gods for that, because motivation is a gift.

>>464310953
>That feel.

Know it all too well.

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>>464312187
My motivation is to try to be 'normal.' I don't want to be different.

I feel like shit today. Thought I was over some girl, saw her today and realized I'm far from it. Its been about 6 months. Not happy with lkfe at all, been depressed lately with horrible thoyghts and self hatred, no self esteem left. Fucking sick of life and don't want to deal with it, actually comtemplaying suicide. I think I have some phycolohical issue. Hate myself.

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Someone, please contribute. I haven't been in a good baaw thread for a while.

Something I've wanted to say for a while now is that by the age of 5 I had already attempted suicide twice. To this day I'm not sure why, all I know is that I feel no compelling reason to continue.
Besides that I have a pretty decent life.

>2013
>starting a baww thread without any baww material prepared

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>Just moved back to my home town after being kicked out from my homophobic mother
>Try to reconnect with old friends
>Meet almost all of them and give them my new phone number
>That was three weeks ago. I check my phone atleast 10 times an hour, every hour of the day.
>Only one text from the over 20 people.
>Text told "Just go away anon, you're just not really that funny anymore"
>Hate myself everyday and hope my phone is broken, keeping a flood of good texts/calls out

I hate the world today
You're so good to me
I know but I can't change
Tried to tell you
But you look at me like maybe
I'm an angel underneath
Innocent and sweet
Yesterday I cried
Must have been relieved to see
The softer side
I can understand how you'd be so confused
I don't envy you
I'm a little bit of everything
All rolled into one

I went out with this chick a couple months ago, and she broke it off in January. The first few days I didn't really care, then I guess my brain realized she was gone and I got really depressed but always kept upbeat so nobody knew I felt that way. The relationship didn't work because I guess I was too beta and it was a bit awkward. She's gone out with a few dudes and we didn't do very much so I know she doesn't ever think about me; she probably never really did. Now she's dating my best friend and I've turned down multiple opportunities to start a new relationship with other girls because I can't get over her. Feelsbadman.jpg

My depressing day.

>Wake up around 9am, my two roommates are still asleep
>Play a bit of vidya and then start cleaning the apartment
>Clean until like 5pm cause my mates are pigs
>Friend flakes on plans to go down to the field for some soccer
>Walk down to see the girls down the hall, decent friends with them
>Two of them leave, and I talk to the third for like 10 minutes before she says she needs to do homework, so I leave
>Hear my one mate leave to go over to their apartment, he doesn't come back for like 1-2 hours
>He knows I like her, don't think he cares though. Kinda obvious they all like him more anyway.

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>>464314578
I know that feel

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>>464315269
ouch.

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>>464314578
Want more? Ok.
>Live in a redneck state, could not leave once kicked out.
>Be gay in a place where that will get you beat
>mfw my own grandfather beat me one he found out. Broke my nose, arm, 3 toes and a few ribs
>Will never find someone to care about here. No one will ever care
I don't blame them, they have their own lives to live but it just hurts everyday

>>464315709
Every time I'm in baww threads I see this picture.
Every time it gets me.

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>>464316425
Sucks. :l

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This thread is dying. Don't let it 404.

My pet salamander died. I had him for like 7 years.

I didn't cry when my parents divorced a couple weeks ago. (17, underage b&) and it didn't even phase me when like 4 of my close relatives all died within a 3 month range

But this fucking salamder. I loved him.

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How was my day?
Well... I just feel empty most of the time. Like a feeling of not feeling anything at all. For you sadfags out there, you are the lucky ones. Believe me, the last thing you want is someone to screw with you and the next thing you know, you're smiling because you're feeling bad and you know what that's like for you have been like that for too long once.
Well... Felt fucking empty. And when I'm not feeling empty inside, I'm sad. Sad of bawwing my fucking eyes out. But that's me regularly and OP asked for today in special. Ok, commence greentext.

>Be me, 18 and broken inside
>I know how shitty people can feel, so I'm the "friendly shoulder" for friends to baww on
>People don't even have to come to me, I know from the slightest change in their behaviour that there's something bothering them and I go talk to them
>Be feeling so fucking empty these days and signalizing like hell that I want someone to talk to
>Nobody cares.jpg
>Well, you might think that's ridiculous, but bear with me...
>Sometimes, all we want isn't someone listening us because of obligation, because we listened to them first.
>Sometimes we want someone who watches over us, notices that you're down and go, "Hey, anon, what's up?"
>Just needed someone who cared for me
>But not a single fuck was given that day
>Mfw I want to scream and baww my eyes out to see if someone would care
>Mfw I've punched myself several times

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>>464318148
Dat Johnny Feel.

I also know how you feel. I stopped it though. I forced myself to not talk to people unless I need something or they start the conversation. It's been the third week without me starting a conversation and no one has talked to me. Or even asked me why I'm not talking to anyone. I'm just that guy that helps everyone but no one helps me in return.

>>464318803
It's not that I want to be listened because I listened to them. It's because it would feel fucking great to have someone caring. But there's not. I guess we're the dark knights, after all.

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>>464319282
Yeah.

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>>464319638
dumping 1/20

>>464318148
Are you me?

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>>464319638
Anyone going to say something..?

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>>464320738
2/20

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>>464320850
3/20

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>>464320996
4/20

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>>464321206
5/20

>>464321309
Thanks Anon. Keep dumping.

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>>464321419
6/20

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>>464309903 (OP)

First time posting a complete rage moment.

>Be early 20's, engaged, at party with fiance and tons of mutual friends
>Fiance's best friend is good friend of mine
>We (best friend and I) share love of Dr. Who
>Fiance Hates Dr. Who
>Talk about Dr. Who for 10 minutes
>Later, fiance bitches we spoke of Dr. Who for 30 mins.
>Fiance has dreams of me cheating on her
>Tells her no I havent (I havent)
>Tells her she is being jealous
>She freaks out
>Calls our friendship weird
>Now I am fuming and hate her
>Should have listened and moved on from her.


Long story short I am regretting my entire relationship at home, drinking alone, and wanting to just fucking run. Baw.

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>>464321725
7/20

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>>464321832
8/20

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>>464322004
9/20

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>>464322094
10/20

I'm in uni but having a shitty social life. My "friends" barely want to chill with me. I have talked to a few girls in my residence and when I walk around the university, I don't notice them at all. 4 girls have come up to me and said the exact same thing. They each said "Why dont you ever say hi to me?! why do you always ignore me?!". Why don't they just come up and talk to me in that case? So confused.

>>464321778
One girl from one of my classes like Doctor Who. But I'm not really into it. Anyway's, who cares about your fiance's friend?

>>464318148
Fuck man, I know this feel all too well.
We gotta be friends man, I need someone to fucking talk to and it seems like you do too.

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>>464322232
should I continue dumping?
11/20

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>>464317046
I got told I as loved to days ago.
About 5 minutes before one of the two people I actually cared about in this world committed suicide.
>now im down to one
>mfw that person doesn't even know

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I'm in such a self destructive moment right now. I want to start smoking, and every time I'll put the cigarrette out, I'd burn myself. Fuck.

You guys want some more story? I've got sooo much things... Bet I can feel some of you pretty good just because you're not me.

>>464322543
*was
*two

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Sure why not
>be 9
>new school
>new state
>meet/see girl
>iwantit.jpg
>we become closer througout school
>grade 6 we 'date'
>2 weeks later she kills it
>be 5 years later and no girl has ever in any way shape or form made me feel the same
>baww to Jason mraz ever since

>pic related but slightly tanner

>>464322343
Are you serious? I'd like that. How can I get in touch with you?

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>>464322292
Yeah, I don't get it.
>>464322358
Yeah.
>>464322561
Go for it.
>>464322543
whoa.

>Katawa Shoujuo

Shitty day today, everyone was bitching at me because apparently I smoke too much weed.

I do not know why, but I sometimes feel the urge to kill myself. Or inflict harm onto others, so they can finally forget me and just keep me as a memory.
I remember one day my father was doing 110 mph on the highway. I was his copilot. I wanted to have an accident, so I could survive, but he wouldn't. Then, have the sufficient motives to become mad.
It hasn't been easy. I haven't grown up enough to forget my mother and how she was my queen, goddess and all. It's hard not to take her sharp words seriously. It's hard not to feel betrayed by the one whom I cared for the most, for whom I considered my everything.
Today, I'm falling behind in school, when I was one of the best ones in my class. I just don't give a fuck any longer. I seriously don't want to. It doesn't fulfill me, despite one of my dreams is being a physicist and learn about the beautiful Universe.
I'm thinking only in returning to my Mother Universe, as loose atoms in a whole world, making up new, better organisms that can provide Earth with something productive, something useful.
Something that I'm not.

>>464322975
>>464322343
You guys should exchange skype or something.

this happened today and i got kinda depressed
>be 15
>my friends are going to the movies
>dont invite me even though i was with them the whole time
>i always give everyone rides even if i have to make several trips
>as they drive off they all shoot me the bird
it gave me feels

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I haven't bawwed to anything today or even laughed at the things I normally find funny.

what the fuck man.

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>>464323094
12/20

>>464321832
10/10
make me cry evrtim...

>>464323094
Whoa. Deep.

>>464323251
>shoot the bird
does that mean middle finger? Sorry, not American.
>>464323295
We all have those days. But for me, it's usually everyday.

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>>464323405
13/20

>>464322975
>>464323180
I'm agree, skype sounds like a great way

In my group of "friends" im the one who everyone laughs at and makes jokes about and ridicules. I like to think they are laughing with me but in reality they are laughing at me. I can't relate to people anymore.

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>>464323654
14/20

>>464323668
True. Add me: joao.henrique.silla.salvatico
Brazilfag

>>464323602
yea its means middle finger also i have countless feel stories but that was the most recent i will greentext a few if any one wants

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The world is a strange, sad, lonely place to people who can step back and look upon it objectively. once you step outside the boundary and look back, there's no crossing over again. People are dumb and violent, and often they won't spend effort to know you before casting you aside. they want low-investment, high-return friends. naturally, these people must be familiar to the person, be simple, or be like them, because they don't want to put energy into actually knowing them. how meaningful can that really be? maybe all of you just fit into the niche of people who aren't excellent enough to hang out with other excellent people, whether that's because you are not assertive, providing help, and effectively being pre-friendzoned by 90% of the people you meet, or you're too dumb, or, conversely, you're not dumb enough to be part of the popular social clique and can't reconcile yourself with the idea of not being part of it, in either case you're a tart, and you'll have to change before anyone pays attention to you.

>>464323747
Get over it, Richard.

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Good evening everyone...
Anyone here from a similar thread that was here just a few days ago?

>go out drinking last night
>good times had by all
>end up at diff bar. ex gf is there
>we're on decent terms no real dramas
>shes there with the guy that was responsible for us breaking up
>no cheating(as far as i know) he just manipulated her alot and convinced her she needed different, new things
>hate the hipster cunt with a passion
>i see him. Stare at him. decide fuck it and drink copious amounts of alcohol
>had great time
>be today. message ex "good seeing you. how was night"
>"anon says you called him a faggot and was threatening him"
>lol wut? didn't go near the kid.
>she doesn't believe me. ofcourse. always his word over mine even in the latter stages of our relationship

lying cunt fucking getting on my nerves.

>like girl for couple years
>she knows this but still friends with me and shit
>her friend likes me
>snoop through someone's phone and find she would have feelings for me if not for her friend.
This got me pretty fucking hard. Then last night this happened
>girls birthday coming up says she's not really doing anything
>she has like 2 friends over las night
>texting girl who likes me cause nothin better to do
>she sends me a pic of two good friends that are there with them
>they start watching a movie
>rage super hard
>I don't even know why I raged but I did
why wasn't I invited anons? Does she hate me that much when we speak basically daily? This shit might seem petty but shit really got to me. I realized I had gone over a month without seeing a friend. No one fucking want to hang out with me. Why anons why.

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>>464324084
I am.
15/20

always gets to me
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=710oAs1OXgU

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>>464324320
16/20

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>>464323970
Sure. Go for it.

>>464324084
Me... That's why I started this one.

What am I doing with my life?
>only true friend committed suicide
>grades are dropping
>girl I love said I waited to long and missed my chance ith her.
>I want to join the Navy, but haven't told my parents because they wouldn't want me to
>my dad is dying
>mom hates me
>brother is ok, but he moved away

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>>464324439
17/20

Wow, haven't seen one of these in a while. Umm, I'm pretty happy really. Just told my "best friend" to go fuck herself though...

>>464323602
It's becoming a common occurrence for me recently.

Maybe it's the seasonal change or some shit... who knows. I just feel so apathetic.

>>464324084
I am too

>>464324320
Ah, how are you?

>>464323747
>we're the lightning rod that keeps those 'friends' together

>>464324874
By any chance, were you OP of that thread? And was it your birthday recently?

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>>464324441
How have you been?

My dad died back in July. Very suddenly. He was fine the night before and then the next morning my mom wakes me up in a frenzy and brings me into their room. He's lying there, on the bed, naked and probably already dead. Heart attack. I won't go into details about what happened next, but the whole thing didn't last more than an hour and then I was driving my mom home while she weeped.

I found out later that they'd been having sex and he literally died on top of her. She spent like 10 minutes trying to get him off her. Terrifying.

I bring this up because I'm only just now starting to feel anything about it. I would like to say I never much liked him, and he was certainly a temperamental man, but I just don't know anymore.

What do I do /b/?

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>be me
>be today
>friend hmu yesterday to come to his house
>havent seen him in 6 months
>ight
>walk to his house
>"wanna smoke pot?"
>ight
>rolling them blunts
>i smoke maybe 5-6 times a year so its a treat
>few other people in the room
>one of them who is very very very distant aquatence start making lines of cocaine
>ohshit.jpg
>friend sees look on my face
>"dude its not coke.its perocet"
>him and his 2 friends do a line each of the crushed perocet
>mfw

i dont care if they do it.theyre pretty cool dudes but goddamn.was not expecting that shit

>>464325042
Sadly I was not the OP of that thread...
Neither was it my birthday recently.
Sorry to disappoint.

>>464324902
Why us?

>>464324490
Enjoy the rest of your time with your dad till he passes away. Then join the Military or something.
>>464324667
Why?
>>464325127
I'm sorry, but I kind of laughed. Wow. Er, just try to comfort your mother and visit your dads grave every now and then.

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>>464324874
i'm good, been doing a lot of thinking, I believe the thread your talking about was from friday night correct?
18/20

tfw my first therapy session is a day before my birthday

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>>464325281
Nah. Not disappointing. Well anyways, welcome.

>>464325335
someone has to be.

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>>464325528
>>464325528
19/20

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Had a horrible fallout with my dad. Me and gf were arguing, I hit myself hard 7 times, he thought I was hitting her, comes in room, yelling n arguing me and him, tells me to grow up n do that shit somewhere else, try to tell him its a relation issue n we talk things out, its why we last, he sees different. He starts to start a confrontation, I stand up (I am 6'3 varsity football, wrestling, purple belt in ju-jitsu, but with broken wrist, he is 53, old, much wrong, 5 cancers, surgery tomorrow, in severe pain) ready to fight, he hits me, i push him he pushes me back onto bed, I kick him a good 20 times in the stomach hurting more and more, long story short, we continue to fight, lts of shit n emotion said, he says he is sorry to my mom nd my gf, but not to me. Tells mom he loves us, talks shit over n over bout me, I lose it, arguing n yelling at each other, he says hes leaving n is fet up with us, later talks to mom after I tell her I can live with him til I grad, he thinks, says no 20 times then yes. Cried so much tonight /b/, never had a father who was proud of me or showed compassion, rarely he did. I wrote him a note n put it in the bathroom hoping he'll read it tonight, saying im sorry n to stay for my mom.
Bad grammar from broken wrist, sorry. Thats my story.

>>464325596
Therapy for what?
>>464325684
At least you guys have someone to actually call 'friends' is if they laugh at you now and then.

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>>464325770
best for last
20/20

>>464325428
Fuck man, I wish it was that simple.
I wish I could just wait everything out.
I wish I could fast forward. Its not that simple though.

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>>464325528
That would be correct.
Ah yes, thinking... Reach a conclusion about anything important yet?

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>>464325335
Because personally I believe that God
>my opinion stay with me

Or/IF whatever/anything is out there it wants some to be able to bear the weight that 'normal' people can't

>pic slightly related

>>464325774
you should try snorting percocet

I can't stop hurting myself.
I have a pretty fucking perfect life, a beautiful girlfriend, somewhat of a music career.
But I can't resist cutting myself everynight.

>>464325428

No I understand. It's so fucking horrible you can't help but laugh.

There's no grave. Just a creepy box full of his ashes.

>>464309903 (OP)

Broke up with my girlfriend of 6 years yesterday.

She admitted that she cheated on me with lots of guys even though all I showed her was love and admiration.

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>>464325596
May I ask what your therapy is for?...

>>464325608
Thankyou.
And I'm glad it's not disappointing.

>>464322094
thanks for the thumbnail

>>464325849
yeah, I do have friends. But not many, the people who laugh at you/us aren't friends...those are just people we know.

>>464325849
Just general looking for help after growing up with a dysfunctional family, and afraid of groups

>>464326359
Same fucking boat mate

>>464326046
yes and no, i'm the one with the tl;dr posts going into the marines. I just found out i'm doing signal intelligence, so I most likely won't see combat, which might be for the better because I feel like I would crave for a death in battle. but this opens a lot of opportunities for me after the marines, but I still have to make it through now.

>>464325770
Right in the feels.

>>464325428
She was just a bitch. We bonded by me consoling her through her many problems, and as long as she was unstable, we were very close. Very physical too, a real tease. Then she got her act together, and tossed me aside, only talking with me when she wanted something. Also, like I said, she was very physical - until she wasn't. Once I took her to this restaurant, her favorite, and I paid. I rubbed her shoulder when I got up go to the bathroom, and she screamed "Don't fucking touch me!", drawing all of the place's attention. That was the last straw. Glad I wised up.

Alright /b/ros, goodnight.
I love you guys. You've always been there for me and I hope I'll always be there for you.

>>464326817
Night /bro/

>>464326617
It's life man

>>464326271
>>464326501
Explained it there /b/ro

>>464326359
the ones that laugh are the ones that aren't worth knowing. their are better friends out there that you deserve

>>464325774
It's okay, Anon.
>>464325892
Thanks for dumping pics.
>>464326160
Oh, sorry bro.
>>464326271
You seem like a cool person.
>>464326359
You're right..
>>464326501
Any story's about your family? It's cool if you don't want to but it's nice to let someone know, right?
>>464326658
Wow.
>>464326817
Sleep tight.

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GF had to move like 10 hours away about a week ago, despite her wanting to have a long distance relationship, I declined. I've been through that shit before, and it was pretty fucking awful.

Just lonely as fuck now, and I really miss cuddling. Been sitting on 4chan literally for the past 8-10 hours doing nothing.

Shit sucks hard.

>>464326359
My real friends are back home. I had to move to a different country for university. I think im going insane here. The girls here give me the most fucked up signals. I can't relate to anyone here

>>464326632
Ah ok.
I hear that the marines can be quite tough...
And I must agree, that it's probably better that you don't see combat...
It'll be better for the long term, yes?

>>464326969
Probably made by EA since its shit

>>464327108
Agreed, my Dad used to tell me when I was little: If you live your whole life, and at the end of it, have one true friend to see you off...then you've lived a good life.
'Friend' is an overused word these days.

>>464327293
I know how you feel, my gf of 9 months moved pretty much across the fucking country, we tried to keep our relationship but long distance never works, keep your head up /b/ro. you'll find another just as I did

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>>464327142
Tehe.
Sadly I just have to run and do a couple of things.
I should be back in a minute or two, though...

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>>464325770

Dude, that is absurdly sad.

I saw that movie a dozen times when I was a kid. Can still hear that voice in my head.

>>464327574
but...EA made nightfire...loved that game.

just found out my weed dealer used to sell coke, he sold to her when she od'd, i'm drunk right now and i dont know what to do or what to feel anymore. hes a good friend too, we hang out all the time, i dont know what ill say or do if i see him again tho

>>464327603
Your dad is smart.
>>464327574
I see what you did there.
>>464327390
What country are you in for Uni?
>>464327668
Alright.

>>464327430
definitely, things are looking up for me down the road, just hope the drive isn't too bumpy getting there.

>>464327390
I know exactly what you mean. Just back to my home country, missin my close friends overseas.

>>464327142
Yep. Wow.

>>464327603
your dad is right, when it comes to friends, quality is far better than quantity.

>>464327905
Canada, Toronto

>>464327905
He tells the truth.

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>>464322094

>>464327142
My family was just a standard suburban family really, then my sister had a falling out with our dad, proceeded to do heavy drugs like crack. Then fucks a nigger and has a baby that she dumps off at the house for me and my parents to take care of. Throughout all of this i have to deal with a father who is disappointed in me for everything. The only person who speaks to me in this house is my mother. Haven't heard from my sister in around 5 years, dont even get birthday calls anymore, and havent spoken to my father in months, even with living in the same house.

>>464328031
So you only touched her shoulders and she flipped shit? Even though you helped her through everything? Ouch.
>>464328242
I'm from Hamilton ON. I know what you mean, all the girls here are really messed up. But you get use to it when you live your whole life here.
>>464328370
I was waiting for someone to post that.

>>464327142

It's just...I always thought he was such an asshole. Now that's he's dead, I really don't know anymore.

>>464328370
Haha.

>>464312524
Try LSD or Ayahuasca or DMT

She won't talk to me anymore. I don't know what I did, but I love her, I'm sure of it. It kills me to know she doesn't even want to acknowledge my existence...

>>464328582
Yep. I love that place, and haven't been back since. I feel like this weight has been lifted though.

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>>464328525
Sorry to here that /b/ro.
>>464328682
Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.

>>464329076
I think you did the right thing.

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I could share a story if anyone was interested. It's not too depressing I don't think, but I've been wishing to share it lately.

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>>464310953
it changes your whole persepcitve on life. you look at everything and find problems so trivial in relevence to the fact that our existence is still unknown.. or something. a feeling of helplessness overcomes me as i feel there is nothing i can move towards, but look at society and think that evolution has become suicide.

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>>464327957
Well, nothing happens perfectly...
If you don't have to work for it and come up against obstructions it's not really a victory when we get there.

>>464327905
Annnnd... I'm back.

>>464329245
please share, we're here to listen

>>464327142
I hope it will be Anon, hope it will...I know it will, just hard right now.

>>464329245
I'm willing to hear it.

>>464314578
what movie is the gif from?
why dont you come to australia where we have parades to embrace homosexuality? :)

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>>464329140
I'll dump a short greentext.

>be my birthday last year
>during summer break
>None of my friends said happy birthday or anything to me
>my parents get into a fight during my birthday
fast forward a month or two
>at the end of summer break, just about to get back into school
>mom 'divorces' dad
>I don't think my parents ever got married
>I think I was an accident and the only reason why they were togther was me.
>I'm too afraid to ask them though.

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>>464329245
something about this picture really makes me think

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>>464329556
Sure thing.
>be me, 17
>see another /b/aww thread
>check it out, been really needing to cry lately
>see about 5 pictures of other people talking about how cool their dads were
>reflect on my life, realize how much of a bro my dad really is
>my dad, brother and I always played vidya together
>read a story about a dad buying video game magazines to figure out which games his son likes
>think about how that's something my dad would do
>wait until he gets home
>he walks in
>"Hey anon how ya doin?"
>"Good, thanks. Hey let's play something. SimCity just came out, wanna play?
>"Sure thing anon, just let me get some pizza."

I am now dreading the day my father dies, and it's a really scary reality that I just now noticed.

>>464330156
Me too /b/ro. I often find myself thinking that same way and I like feeling fatigued. It's almost as if that's how things should be, but I know it's not. Things have just become numb for so long that it feels like the norm

>>464330262
Say not in grief: "He is no more," but live in thankfulness that he was.
The best advice I can give.

>>464329539
Welcome back.
>>464330262
:l

>>464330262
But at least you have a father who cares, and is quite amazing.
You'll have a lot of good memories...
However some people lose contact with their parents and regret it alot later.
You have something that many people desire.

>>464330262
I feel you anon, my father would turn the world upside down for me, he always there for me, I too fear the day when he won't be here anymore for me, when the most important person in my life is no longer in it. I guess we can only enjoy the time that they are here and not waste the precious time we have left.

>>464330876
Thankyou.
May I ask what country you're from?

>>464330974
Agreed.

>>464330703
I sure as hell will be glad. He's done so much for me and I feel like such a burden on him. I don't think I can ever repay him for all he's done. >>464330974
True, and I honestly feel bad for people who don't have a father like mine.>>464331132
That's what I'm planning on doing. I don't want to waste anymore time than I already have.

>>464331134
Canada.

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>>464321751
>>464309903 (OP)

finished FMAB two weeks ago. such a beautiful storyline, i wish alchemy was real, it would give life meaning.

>>464331221
I don't even live in the same country as my Father...

>>464331526
Ah, I'm from New Zealand.

>>464331342
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Akenh9Zcc7g&list=PL46258B4B0379B20B
beautiful song

Dad killed himself last may.

He wasn't my real dad, but fuck, he was MY dad in my heart. I haven't been able to celebrate anything normally. All the holidays are bland and dead without him. My 21st birthday just felt empty with him not here.

The last time I looked at him in the eyes was 5 minutes before he did it, and I saw him sink in and look down in suck damn shame. After he loaded 6 nails into his chest in my backyard he never looked at me or anyone else. He just laid there gurgling and crying, looking up at the night sky past us.

My sister gave him CPR when he stopped breathing and he actually woke up, I thought he'd be fine, I mean he was still alive after the nails were in. No blood at all. The medics came and my pops even tried fighting them off. They secured him and took off. I thought he'd be fine.

2/6 nails hit his heart and he didnt make it through the surgery. I don't know what I'm fighting for anymore. My dad, the strongest man I knew, threw in the towel, how can I keep going?

Somthing I've had on my chest for a while, this is /b/ but try not to be creeped out.
First thing, I've just got my 4 year degree in computer science and started working at a small game studio.
Minus a gf everything has been going well, but I've just been haunted by my past, and how easily it creeps back, like when I get really mad or something.
When I was a kid I tortured small animals; I lived in butt fuck nowhere and my parents never took me anywhere so I never developed social skills at a early age; I grew to hate my parents because I was always alone and they never seemed to care; I hated everyone and anything--still kinda do I guess maybe; I was picked on at school relentlessly and I had no idea how to deal with it because I had never been around any other kids--basically ever; I wanted to take my dad's gun to school nearly every day; In class I would fantasize about what I would do with it; tried to kill myself in college twice because of all this; still resent my parents for no reason apparent to them; 22 now working at dream job, but I still feel so empty, I thought by now things would be alright, but I don't know

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>>464331342
I moved to a different country than my fathers, at the age of 17.
I regret it quite a bit.

>>464331885
Wow /b/ro. If my dad did this, I seriously would probably give up as well. It makes my heart sink just thinking about it. My deepest condolences go out to you.

>>464332196
Is he still alive? Maybe you could try talking to him

>>464332196
>>464331857
Why'd you move and from what country did you move from?

>>464331885
i'm so sorry for you, that had to be traumatizing. do you know why he did it?

Had a job interview on Thursday, gonna get a call tomorrow and find out whether or not I got it. Pit in my stomach says there's no way in hell I'll get it because I'm such a loser. Hate myself so much that I don't even think I'll get a crappy job, even with a good word from an employee who works at the place.

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Just dumping random baw from phone

http://thenicestplaceontheinter.net/

This is for you /b/ros

>>464331885
Wait, a nail gun? Why? Why did he do it?>>464332028
It'll be okay Anon, just hang in there.

>>464332028
Suppressing your past...
I can relate to that.
I believe the best thing you can do is talk to someone about it, a therapist is best.
No matter how hard you try to bottle it up it always seems to come back, unless you actually do something about it.

This is not out of sympathy, but more just to give some people hope. Hope that people still care. If any of you need a /b/ro, need to talk, play vidya, anything, you are welcome to add me on skype. tetrixx95 is my skype name.

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>>464332764
2/?

>>464331342
you don't have to repay him. just being alive is good enough for him. trust me.

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Just wanted to stop by and say thanks for all of these feels. You ruined my day.
Also pic unrelated.

>>464332764
for the /b/ros as well
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QB0ordd2nOI

I don't know why, but i get really pissed that my gf says "ricardo and my friends are going to the beach, he's inviting me, obviously not going if my girlfriends are not going but i sooo want to go" or "im going with my friends to the movies" am I over reacting or not?

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>>464332427
He is still alive.
But I've always been somewhat socially awkward.
I'm not sure how to initiate a starting point again.
Plus there were past issues, that I should have really forgiven him for, but I still have recurring issues with.

>>464332432
I moved to New Zealand. He lived on the west side of Australia, so it's quite a large distance.
And... There are issues that he created that haunt me.

>>464333356
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Q-TWgfHmNo
This is the version I listen to, It's of that home and to build a home, Beautiful, helps me cry.

>>464333120
Yeah, I guess that's true. I've been suicidal for a long time, long story that I could maybe explain if someone wants to hear, but he's always known when I'm upset and I know he'd be devastated if I killed myself.

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>>464332862
Will deff do when PC works again thanks mate

Day was okay. Turned 19 but didn't really do anything. On the plus side things could definitely be worse.

>>464333404
Do you have your own time with your friends?
You know just hanging out with them without her?

>>464333803
Happy birthday anon. I'll smoke a bowl for you to celebrate

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>>464326171
fuck that bitch man. Never trust a woman. You'll be just fine. Keep your chin up and move on. You're awesome, and you're the fuckin man

>>464333907
Yeah i do, but i havent hang out with then since a long time ago probably like 3 months

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>>464333774
Now dumping music that makes me feel

>>464333573
Maybe you could try talking to him, just to say that you want to catch up or something along those lines. It doesn't have to be a huge step, just one step at a time.

>>464333803
Happy birthday.
>>464333573
Do you want to talk about it..? It's cool if you don't, but it's sometimes nice to tell people.

>>464333774
Sure thing /b/ro. Least I could do

>>464333803
Happy birthday anon. Sometimes nothing is the best thing to do.

why not get it out? sometimes it feels good to just let it out.

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>>464334171

I've been lurking for a while now, thought I might share if you guys don't mind ?

>>464330004
It's from Peep Show.
Actually one of the funniest shows ever made.

>>464334494
please do anon, please do

>>464334494
Go right ahead man

>>464332826
>>464332828
I went to a therapist a few times, the first time was when an artery in my arm was still bleeding and took me to the hospital. He was nice, he just listened to what I had to say, I could never really get to the hard shit because I cant cry in front of anyone. I just cant let go when anyone is around.

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>>464334391
>inb4 filter
>this one the most

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>>464334109
i can relate to the post you responded too.. i needed to read that.. thank you..
i could really use a hug right now though ..

>>464334881
>this one for every bitch that fucks you over

OP, i'm also from Hamilton lol

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>>464335083
Derp forgot pic

>>464333620
I accidentally. see
>>464334349

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>>464335198
>oh lawd this one

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>>464334175
I guess so...
But it's still difficult for me nonetheless.

>>464334248
Well, to make a long story short...
I was about 7, parents separated. My father found another woman, she was some kind of drug addict, I can't remember exactly what she took, it was something she shot in her arm with a needle and there was definitely a lot of pot there.
She was a crazy bi-polar chick not taking her medication properly. She made my life hell running through the house with knives screaming and such.
Then my mother started dating this guy, the known pot dealer of the town... My father decided this moment to be a hypocrite, not allowing me to see my mother anymore because of this guy. Lost contact with my mother and my two older siblings.
You may ask questions... If you wish.

>>464332578
Long story, that I still haven't really put together an answer. Which really bothers because at his wake a bunch of people would tell me if I had any questions to ask. Yeah they were trying to help, but no one can answer the simple question "why?"

A month before he did it he accused my mother of cheating on him (she didn't) and before that we planned a surprise party for him. Well, at that party things were already sour with my parents but they were trying to look past it.

Some young kid comes to the party, just a friend of a cousin, and my dad pulls him outside with no evidence of anything. Dad knocks the kid to the floor with a punch and is gonna start smashing him, but I happen to grab a hold of him before any real damage was done. He elbowed me and knocked me to the floor in the heat of things, but the kid was gone by then.

He called my mom the worse things possible in front of friends and family so that killed me. Argument ensued for an hour and everyone was crying. My dad got drunk (sober for over 10 years) and called my mom later that night saying even worse things that my mom cries even thinking about it.

We all still love him but the whe family is furious, and after a day of being gone he comes back. Mom lets him stay and were not fine with it (me, 2 sisters and bro). We don't talk to him for the whole month.

He mentally deteriorates for the month calling my mom every 20 minutes obsessing over her, scared she's gonna leave him. And that night she says he has to stop and be normal again. And he's like alright, fair enough, let me go get a few things outside.

He comes back and tells my mom he can't change and he's going to have to leave, which is the point I walk in and he lookst at me that one last time.

Ask if everything is fine and he just walks outside. He calls my mom and she goes outside. I should've gone. I had a feeling, and didnt listen to it.

They talk for a few minutes and he says he lost all of us and he's done.

>Friend borrowed my Pokemon collection to play
>Told him I want it back or I'll beat his ass
>Still hasn't given it back
>feelsbadman.jpg

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>>464335479
>listen to this one and you WILL shed many a tear

>>464334870
I know exactly what you mean.
It takes me a lot of time to open up to those I'm closest to.
Let alone a therapist.
I've never truly cried in front of anyone.

Also, instead of attempting to jump straight to the difficult things work up to it slowly.
Even quickly summarizing parts of it and skipping over all the details is a starting point.

>>464334612
well i'm off /b/, thank you for the good /b/aww thread. let's do this again soon, I might OP one Tuesday or something

>>464335356
Well okay
>be about 2 years ago
>date some girl that I had known from league, name was Kara
>long distance relationship, she lived out of state
>things were good, fun times together and we played lots of league together
>she would play lux and I would play nunu with the grungy nunu skin
>she always called me her cookie monster and I would always try to protect her
>we always laned together as well
>I had anger issues at the time, we got into lots of stupid fights over random shit, we broke up and got back together several times
>one last time she broke up with me she told me she was going to go see a different guy that lived closer to her
>she comes back a few weeks later saying that she is pregnant, wants me to take her back, and she just wants to be with me and nobody else
>tell her no, don't want to deal with a kid that wasn't mine because then I'd probably have to move to take care of someone else's kid
>she gets really depressed, tells me nobody likes her at school because they found out she was pregnant, called her a whore etc
>one night I get a call from her phone, pick up, it's her sister crying
>"She killed herself......there's so much blood anon. How could you let this happen?!"
>don't even respond, don't even cry, hang up. sit in bed for about 10 mins and then cry for 2 hours straight
>can't play league without thinking of her, don't even play nunu anymore because it hurts too much
>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5iDPw_qjhtM this was her favorite song
>still fucking gets me every goddamn time

She was still the best Lux and Teemo player I have ever seen. I'm sorry I never helped you Kara. R.I.P. 3/25/11.

Music for the feels
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AEiucbbXBUA