get a fart bomb and out in in her car or near the vents. you could also use a dead animal too

Get about 10 mates and bump the car out of the way,

Let his tyres down until he moves it.

Or buy some birdseed and cover his car with it. It'll soon be covered in birdshit.

how about if you pay for someone to tow it , hmmm like , to another county or something like that ?

>>348521454
wait till night and key his car

if anyone asks you just say you didnt notice anything

start a riot you dumb limey cunt

>>348521845
I lol'd.... I think i will try this.. I live near the sea so there's plenty of seagulls ;-)

ok listen up dickface assn*gger.


first of all, your picture is of a 3 serie bmw.

second, BMW's are far superior to any other shit out there on 4 wheels.

third, 7 serie bmw is best car.

its like god among midgets.

you fucking asshole student, all students are cunts!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK YOU AND YOUR SHIT LIFE.

bmw driver signing out.

Fuck sake OP- force open the petrol cap with a screw driver, put a rag into the tank and burn the fucker.

>listen up candy-ass cos im only gonna say this once.
>get a few rolls of cling film.
>proceed to wrap the cling film round and around the car with as many layers as possible.
>keep doing so untill you run out of cling film.
>this is fucking difficult to unravel yourself as you know the nature of cling film.
>it cannot be cut with a knife or scissors for fear of scratching the car.
>britfag here, not sure if you know what cling film is, but if not fucking google it.
>thank me later.
>  ▲
>▲ ▲

So this makes me a dick for driving an E30?

if you can get the hood open, cut one of the spark plug wires

Steal his gas-cap. That's always an LOL. Will cause a trouble code in the engine. Nummy nuts won't know whats wrong, takes it into a dealer, and costs him 100 bucks for some asshole to take a scanner to it.

brake fluid on the paint, it just peels off wherever you spray it on and fucking expensive to get fixed

If you're going to do tires, do 2. Car of that age will have a spare tire, not a compressor, so he'll either have to go and try and find a pump or get someone called out. Here's how to do a tire subtly. Remove valve dustcap, put a small piece of gravel in it and replace. It will depress the valve causing the air to leak without you having to be there to do it yourself.

>>348522296
mix it with washing up liquid so it holds longer- get that fucker all the way into the primer

>I drive a bmw
>Am far more considerate than 99% of the drivers on the road.
>Have avoided accidents numerous times by not driving like a dick
>Only me and 2 guys who drive pick-ups are capable of parking out of around 30 residences in this street.
I have seen a ford Ka parked over 2 spaces. Seriously.

Anyway OP, break his wing-mirrors. That shit's expensive on a BMW. For extra anonymity, do it at night on the side that's passed by traffic.

>>348522151
pic

>>348522120

>>348522343
Won't damage the tire. I have a spare compressor in my car, and many places sell quick inflate for just a few dollars. Besides that, most people can slowly drive to a gas station and inflate the tires. If you wanna be a dick, just cut the whole valve stem off. Can't be inflated in anyway.

>>348521454
>car is blocking your parking space
>suggest letting air out of the tyres
>car now can't move

That'll show him! Dumbass

>>348522120
Before this fuckhead parked outside my house, I had respect for beamer drivers... My hatred lied towards Volkswagen Passats and Audi's... but this beamer driver is a first class cunt.

they're all the same.. BMW drivers are butthurt roody-poos.

p.s I hope you're enjoying my tits

Go and smear dogshit under his doorhandles

>>348522647

>german cars everywhere

germanfag detected?

>>348522120
I'm a BMW driving student. (E30 318is).
I have to agree that most BMW drivers are cocks. No where near as bad as Audi drivers though.

leave him a note saying you will rape him, his family and pets whilst making him watch unless he moves.
or cling film. in fact i quite like the cling film idea.

>>348522797
I'd say britfag. He said tax disc.

>>348522504

People who hate BMW drivers are people who can't afford/smart enough to own one so they buy a shit Kia and rage when a BMW drives by when you're in a heap of smoke on the side of the road. candy-ass.

>>348522647
Well really, how bad do you want to ruin this guys day. If you want to ruin his life, Let me know, and we can seize the engine or destroy the brakes.

OK this is what you do. Get a jar of vaseline and smear it all over the windshild. You have no idea how hard that is to get off.

Pour brake fluid on his car

>>348522450
>>348522151
>aquire small piece of cardboard and scissors
>slide cardboard behind cling film
>cut clingfilm
>marvel at your dust free car!

What kind of fucking idiot would manage to scratch their paintwork while taking that off haha if they do then they deserve it

>>348522961
mayvbe you should know anything about cars at all. Also i think people complain about beemers driver's attitudes, like yours

>YFW you saved for 15 years to buy a shit car and you realize it wasn't worth the trade-off

>>348521454

Did you read the part about how he can stay there as long as he likes? He isn't breaking any laws, he's just being a cunt..

This cunt needs a taste of his own medicine..

BTW awesome suggestions so far.. HAIL /B/ROTHERS

Be careful though, OP. Make sure there's no CCTV anywhere near or you could land yourself in trouble.

As for what do? I don't see any reason why you couldn't do all of them at once!

Does he have alloy wheels with a centrr cap covering the wheel nuts? If so, go and remove the three nuts that aren't lockable from each wheel and replace the cap. It won't be visible, and you'll lol like fuck when the wheels fall off as he moves off.

>>348523064
fucking try it b/ro.. its alot harder than it sounds to get the cardboard under the clingfilm..

>>348523064
I've done this before, and you just can't get anything under it.

Vaseline all over car

bird seed all over car

if he knows it you anyway, just paint cunt on the side of car

why did you block out the reg. number?

>>348522961
>implying BMWs dont break down

dont Kias have a 7 year, unlimited mileage, warranty now? With that offer, i dont think they'd break down much.

Also, 1996 MR2, passed its MOT with no advisories last week, no service history, cost me £800, destroys all but series BMWs

umadjellybro?

Tools: Car Jack, Wrench, 5 litre pan
Objective: Drain the oil out of his car

Olá! Você mora em São Paulo, Brasil? Venha sair amanhã. E-mail m00t@4chãn.org
put dog shit on car

>>348523609
*M series

if you covered the car in clingfilm, then birdseed, then he'd have to try to get shit-covered layers of clingfilm off of the car....

>>348522120
although BMW's are fairly good cars. I consider them one of the most unpractical cars to have.
They are EXTREMELY EXPENSIVE to maintain and parts cost an arm or a leg.
Pound for Pound they arnt better than any other car(I'd rather get a Mazda 6 than any BMW)
I dont see the appeal in bmw's anyway. Like asians they All look the same

K thanks for your suggestions folks.

Killing this thread now unless you want to spiderman the FUCK out of it you sad twats.

Much love to anyone who donated their awesome ideas, especially the clingfilm one... PRO

potato in the exhaust pipe. It will never start and he will have to have it towed to the shop to have it fixed.

newfag is jelly because he doesn't own a BMW. and that isnt a 7 series, fag

potato in exhaust pipe.

trust, its fucking funny.

also get 5-10 tubes of superglue and spread them on the windshield and bonnet, it doesn't come off

FUCK YOU OP

Suck a fucking cock!

BMW's are far superior to ur gf's piece of shite and since when is it her parking spot?

Not all students are broke ass poor fags like urself, I had 4 jobs in college, fuck you!

Whiney little shit u r!


M3 driver

>>348523772
>>348523772
>>348523772
>>348523772
>>348523772
>>348523772
>>348523772
>>348523772
THIS

>>348523399
>>348523466
Seeing as cars arnt cubes and flat an all sides, there will be several areas where you can easily slide a knife without damaging paintwork. Clingfilm is particularly tough material, you must be weak if you canpull it back to put some cardboard behind it.

>>348523814
Salute

>>348523796
the only reason to get one is some deluded idea about status. No one that is 'into' cars would been seen in one

sugar in the petrol tank- wrecks the engine

literally take a shit on his car


and PS, I drove an M5 as a freshman in college... now I have the M5, a jeep wrangler, and a porsche 911 turbo.

>>348523980
YES!

>>348523938
wow, bmw drivers are really, REALLY insecure

>>348523938
M3 driver.

Even fucking worse.

GTFO my thread you piece of shit

>>348524078
keep buying cars, one day you will get a good one

>>348524016
fucking tard, thats the joy of clingfilm, it perfectly sticks to the body of the car

>>348524154
>mfw m3 is the only good BMW
>mfw noface

>>348524033
that has been proven not to work. All that does is make smoke out the exhaust

>>348524331
u need moar sugar

>>348524293
i would love for someone to do this to my car so i can show them how easily i remove it. Unfortunatly i don't live in a hipster ghetto so it'll never happen.

>>348523938
when did classless chavs find out about newt gingrich? I only ask because i can see them taking to it rather well

go out about 4am take big shit on windshield they will get the hint car not safe there and they will move it.

spray paint "I hate niggеrs" on the car in huge pink letters. make a stencil so you can do this quick and multiple times.

>>348524504
>hipster ghetto

your theory is incorrect and your insults are forced and nonsensical

>>348521454

Doesn't look like private parking to me OP. Is it a public street?

http://safelinking.net/d/33fb5e5e97

This

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Ht9VZ9RB_w

FUCK that guy

>>348521454
>>348521454
>>348521454
>>348521454
>>348521454
>>348521454
>>348521454
>>348521454
>>348521454
>>348521454

expanding foam everywhere.

If you put a into the it will cause a big issue with the, rendering the Bimmer totally, ergo, revenge.

Protip: do not get caught, that always helps

So, OP, you don't really care that he/she might be on holiday for a week and one of your neighbors is just watching the car for them?

>>348524154

No

and

Fuck you!

I made the best contribution to your failure of a life/thread so far!

>>348524402
They tried that on mythbusters. They put it in the gas tank and poured it into the engine. Did nothing but smoked. I think in all they used 5 pounds of sugar

go to your local parts store. ask them for a valve stem core remover. cost's about 3-4 bucks. take said core remover to bmw's tires and flatten em. procede to call local 5-0 and building management to report a "suspicous" car in your lot with flat tires that has been there for days

7-Series > Mazda MX-5

>>348524612
No insults
>nonsensical
Have you ever seen East London?
Chavs. Sand nig­gers, nig­gers and hipsters, all living in their own boroughs.

>>348523796
1. Older bmws like my 528i do not cost much mine is a 98 looks just like the one in the pic and cost 3000

2. they are acctually very inexpensive to maintain fact is if you do the work yourself...parts cost the same as any other car really most ppl are just too retarted to figure it out

3. The appeal of bmw is the fact that they dont always break down like a ford, kia, chevy ect

As for this student quit being a whiny lill bitch and grow the fuck up

>>348524946

spiderman>cars

Buy a cheap clock and tape it beneath the car and make an anonymous bombcar phonecall

There's really only so much you can do to a car, you know.
And you wont do any of the awesome ideas anyways.
This is a waste of a thread.

P.S., there are obviously more places to park than directly outside your window. Tell her to stop being a cunt and walk an extra few feet. Then again you probably love to ride the wave, and is the real reason you don't want your whalefriend walking too much.

even barrack loves spidey!

>>348525086
>>348525323
And fuck OP

>>348525086
I think its funny how Fords got that bad rep for so long.
i seen plenty of Fords make it to 150,00- 200,000 miles
no car will last if you are rough on it. But My father and his boss at work had to get rid of their BMWs because the Cadillac converter was going to cost 6,000 to replace. and he didnt want to get started on the converter

> Cadillac converter

catalytic, dumbass

>>348525653
>because the Cadillac converter was going to cost 6,000 to replace
>because the Cadillac converter
>Cadillac converter
>Cadillac

>>348525653

Lol cadillac converter. You mean catalytic?

>>348523796
Do you know anything about cars?
Volkswagen cars are as, if not more, expensive to maintain due to the high price of imported parts. And it costs no more mechanic-wise than any other modern car. Unless you're a dumbass who only goes to dealership mechanics.

Again, do you know anything about cars, or a bunch of shit you came up with and sounded good?

Pour paint stripper on the car. It starts peeling off like scabies and it costs an arm and a leg to repair.

>>348525086
> work on european car yourself
> doesn't break down as much as ford/kia
> mfw

Also, good luck with your overpriced, overengineered replacement parts.

And, that's a 3 series, so there's no way in hell it looks liek a 528i.
Obviously doesn't own a car.

You, sir, are an idiot.

I'm a student with a BMW...

>>348521808

This, already done with a dumbass, easy.

>>348525923
>>348525895
>>348525873

Y'all got trolled.

OP gets fag of the month award

jello much?

>>348526079
Ohhh so you own on huh...??? that does look like one I should know cause I own one dumbass....also i do all my own work on it cause I have half a brain so i know parts cost and it does not cost that much...

OP can't tell a 3 series from a 7 series

retard

OP is the cunt in here

>>348526215
ssshhh. dont tell them. It works wonders on /o/
Like my 1991 toyota with a turbo vs and NOS that can beat any car on the road

if you covered the car in engine oil, then clingfilm, then birdseed, then he'd have to try to get shit-covered layers of clingfilm off of the car while peeling off his paint....

>>348526547
vs? Wtf the hell is that.Do you even anything about cars?

>>348526447
there are subtle differences but most bmws all look alike thats a 3-series in the pic but all of them look alike in reality the 5 -series has a different stance and headlight setup

BMW drivers are ignorant asshats. It's a shame really because they let down a good car manufacturer.

>>348526447
>Ohhh so you own on huh...???
>so you own on huh
>you own on
>own on

Nope, I don't own one. I'm not a retard.

I think OP's girlfriend is fucking the dude with the BMW.

I'm sure of it.

Mazda driving chicks have the hots for BMW owners, cause they want one!

>>348526694
you jus mad you cant afford one or the insurance....its alright

* Glass etching cream splattered on the windows is a nice touch.

* Brake fluid, as mentioned by others here, is good, too.

* A butane cigarette lighter pushed into the muffler with a stick will eventually get hot enough to explode. It won't harm anynewt gingrich, but the muffler will sure be fucked up.

* Paint a swastika on the BMW with glow-in-the-dark paint. During the day, the owner won't see it...but when he drives around at night, other people sure will.

* If the BMW owner leaves his windows open, you can really have fun. Get valerian root tea or capsules at the health food store, and make a tea of it. Pour plenty of it into the car. Valerian smells worse than shit.

P.S. What's the difference between a BMW and a porcupine?
The pricks are on the OUTSIDE of a porcupine.

break in and release a bunch of fruit flies

put cow on roof, can go up but not down. usually takes a crane to get it out

>>348526856
>mfw I drive a Celica

Why would I be mad when I own a Celica?

>>348526692
>subtle differences

X5.

118i.

subtle.

>>348526079
you are going to point out my spelling?? read through your own posts asshat

>>348522450
Also if you do this in summer (depeding on where you're from OP)
When the clingwrap is heated during the day and cools at night, it condenses tighter and fucks up the cars body shape.
So if you do it vertically you can fuck up the BMW pretty easily.

>>348527071
>mfw that's my first post, and there's only 1 spelling error.

>>348527003
Lol celica I remember they used to have interiors made out of plastic corrugate board so cheaply made it was pathetic and still is

>>348527003
>>348527003
finally. What year is it. Ive been meaning to buy one but i havnt decided. they look like beautiful cars and people often say they drive like a dream and can drive till 250+ miles

Your fortune: Outlook good

>>348522120
umad since you need to defend your make?

Ford Capris never need to be defended, everynewt gingrich agrees they're awesome

>>348527537
FORD! thats all that needs to be said to put down a ford

>>348527292

Now who's mad huh?

>>348527432

It's a '99 model. It's my baby, acceleration is great, speed is nice. Engine sounds brilliant. It's just a joy to own.

the best way to fuck with someone and not get in trouble even if the fucker see's you doing to it to take a jar of vaseoiline and put it on the inside of the door handles , it's a fucking mess gets all over there clothing and the inside of there car will fuck up there day

>>348527762
so its not this model

>>348527729
>implying Fords are bad

>>348521454

dude keep it simple

write a note saying
" dear sir or madam,
i hit your car, but i was in a rush to class, and had to leave asap. on the business card salong with this note, i've left my insurance information and number. please contact me asap, so we can figure this out.
thank you, and sorry."

then, and here's my favorite part, don't leave the information. he'll think either, you're an assshole or someone stole the card..

get someone else with a different paper and hand writting to repeat the process again sometime later in the week. repeat until he fucks off. trust me eventually he will.

for an added bonus, hit the front wheels with tie wraps on the axle, and make sure they'll make contact with something as they spin, or he won't hear anything. with those notes, and the worrying sounds those ties will produce, he'll be too paranoid to park there.

>mfw i did this to my brothrs car and i got my parking space back...at home!!
>mfw i have no face