>INB4 I work at X I cum in your X I dont give a fuck

one time there was a customer in front of me that asked for double paper. i was like wtf

im a waiter and if you dont tip i spit in your food!

buffet waiter here

for some reason people dont tip. i guess they dont realize we split the tips instead of taking them our own.

I work at Staples, I cum in your staples. I don't give a fuck.

>>336903330
am I doing it rite, fag­got?

Im a cashier at albertsons, If you're angry and start taking it out on me, I WILL start adding shit up.

One time a bitch started complaining about the long line (theres only two people you cunt guzzler) So I added 10$ to the total, little pocket money for me.

>>336903742
samefag; pic realted, meant to link to

>>336903318

>>336903742

>mfw you quoted the wrong person newfag

>>336903911

inb4 you, fag­got =-P

>>336903482

I never tip. I always carry a blacklight with me when I go into restaurants. When the food comes I inspect it with the blacklight, if I find saliva I inform the manager and the waiter is immediately fired.

i work at sams club in the electronics. all passwords to all computers and 4 digit codes are the store number. the server room pass key is 1 2 3 4 5 most of the time. i just dont give a fuck

>>336903969

You cant say inb4 after you havnt said inb4 you fucking summer candy-ass

>>336903994
I like you.

One time when I was cashering I said "see ya later man" when I was done. he then complained at the front desk that he didn't appreciate being called a nickname in our establishment. fucking christ.

>>336904117
inb4 George Costanza, nig­ger

>>336903994

Kind of a stupid question but, what does saliva under a black light look like?

>>336903994

you sound like a little bitch calling the manager

walk back to the kitchen and kill the waiter like a fuckin' boss

>>336904102
if you dont know the store number there is usually a banner somewhere saying most sales or something and have the store number on it. its usually above the cash registers

>>336904315

Then go to jail, like a fuckin' boss

>>336903330
i worked as a cashier for 3 years i once had someone ask for double paper and then in plastic. i wanted to fucking murder her. 200 dollar or so order too. best way of stealing booze i've seen is to take a bottle go to the bathroom, go to a stall, fill up another bottle/flask and then fill up the empty bottle of booze with water (as long as its a clear booze like vodka) then put the now water filled bottle back. buy like a candy bar or something and no one will check.

>>336904403
Then get raped, like a fuckin' boss.

>>336904239

>>336903994
That is the height of paranoia.

I work in a Florida Teasure Coast area Pizza Hut.
You would be shocked on how much mold is near, I mean VERY near the food

>>336904221

thats fucked bro. There are assholes who just want to cause trouble because they are sad, sad little people.

Work secrets threads are supposed to be about helping people get free shit at your establishment, not whining and talking about how much you spit in the food. Fucking summerfags.

I work at a grocery store during the summer as well. There's too many stories to tell about dumbass customers.

I work at wendy's are beef IS frozen, and WE DO NOT know where the fish comes from.

I work as a waiter. This roody-poo comes in and doesn't tip. Then he uses a blacklight to check his food. He is forever alone. I actually spit in his drink. He calls my manager, who appeases him and cums in his complimentary dessert. I just don't give a fuck

>>336904951

its all good. i just like reading shit about peoples jobs

I work at McDonalds. This is probably common knowledge, but in case you don't know, we microwave your food.

>>336905252

What about the pancakes?

a good way of stealing from a grocery store is getting a big bag of dog food or something and putting stuff under it. a lot of times, not always, but a lot, the dumbass teen working at the register will forget to check under there. hell even if you have stuff out in the open, its not uncommon for them to simply forget.

>>336905390
especially the fucking pancakes

>>336903482
Usually I get the food before the bill comes. Luckily, there's thousands of restaurants here(I'm in Vegas) so if I decide not to tip, I never have to go back again.

>>336905473
doesnt work at sams club. they got fuckers checkin your cart at the exit door

>>336905625

Dear god no, there soooooo goooood!

I work in an amusement park
>food service
you give us shit, we give you shit
dont fucking tell us to hurry up, we'll give you nuked food and take all your monies
Funnel cakes are heart attacks, get the regular, not that super triple oreo batter OMG IMMA GUNNA CUM crap
>Rides
Dont tell us you want to go again when you see people in line, you won't. Ever. Not even if there are 1000 seats and its only you and the other candy-ass, get the hell off.
Your kids? Fuck them. Teach them manners.
I let you go on my ride, say thanks.
In rides, we can say you are being a safety hazard for the smallest thing you do, and we can kick you out of the park.
>Games
Waste of money, just get the "free" prize. (free as in buy like...twenty rings and get a flower or fish or some fluffy shit).

>>336902973


If you get a price check on something it also deactivates the theft magnet.

at grocery stores the last register is usually always on for some reason or another. Scan item, claim it was a price check if you get caught. Ive stolen about 6 DVDs this way.

shit, when i was 16 ( 9 years ago ) i would get fucking pissed when ppl ( especially old ppl ) would want paper at all. paper doublebagged made me fucking RAGE! i would glare at those old assholes with all my hate burning through them. i hope theyre all dead now! =)

>>336905712
or costco

>>336903318
i h8 losing inb4's

I work in a liquor store and when people are being dicks I accuse them of being drunk and kick them out, or I ask for their ID and say it doesn't look real to me, or say the first ID is valid but the 2nd piece isn't (its the law in Canada to have 2 valid pieces). pretty much this is based on how scary the person is, a big ass motherfucker I wont accuse of being drunk, ill just be like whoa sorry bud I cant take these id's. hahaha if you guys wanna see real life trolling THAT is it, truust me.

>>336903742
is that why they're always stuck together in a neat line?

>>336903482

How do you do this?

You get the food before the tip. hence why you are a waiter

>>336905820
Its not YOUR ride you dumbfuck, you don't own it. Do your job and stop expecting to be thanked for it. You get paid, there's your thanks.

>>336906093

Oh noes guess i just have to go to the chinese shop next door that never ask for id

people who are for paper in general are dumb. they think plastic bags arent as durable but thats totally wrong, plastic bags are actually much stronger and can hold far more. i hardly ever see them break, not only that but they're so much easier to carry and take up less space. they're not like trash bags

people who ask for paper and plastic can go to hell.

I work as a waiter. There is a roody-poo that doesn't tip. Then he uses a blacklight to check his food. Luckly we cover our spit with thin layer of food, so UV shows nothing. What a dumbass.

>>336906161
Apparently you've never worked for an amusement park...
My ride, the park's ride, I don't give a shit. It's a ride.

>>336906331

You can also re-use the plastic, so your doing more for the environment.

Im a baggage handler. You have heavy baggage, it gets dropped harder.

protip: ALWAYS travel with a hard plastic suitcase. Normal soft suitcases get smashed up.

>>336906280

Yeah it seems like such a simple solution but when someones being an asshole anyway, to them, it's all about principle, they are trying to show dominance over you when a customer is an obvious dick (see: >>336904221 ) so when you deny them they seriously flip shit, like its retarded.

At least that's my theory.

>>336905820

when you worked in Adventure land, did you get to fuck Kristin Stewart?

I work at a Vegas casino in slots....Some tips for anyone who wants to come gamble

Theres only a few of us and many of you. Dont keep calling us over for stupid shit *Change* every 20 fucking seconds. You're not the only person there

USE YOUR FUCKING BRAINS. You gotta take a leak and dont know where to go...LOOK FOR THE SIGNS! They tell you exactly where to go. It's not like we're hiding the toilets from you.

"Last of the big spenders! HERPA-DERP!"
"I think I just broke the bank with this win! HURR DURRR!"
Any stupid lines like that...are not funny. We hear them all the fucking time. You're not witty. Get over it.

TIP! TIP TIP TIP! Now i'm not asking for a tip EVERY time but we make shit wages and have to rely on the gratuity of customers. If you win big. Share the wealth! Locals know this rule especially which is why we truly cater to our local people than tourists. If you can't afford a tip at that moment don't give us that bullshit "Im just breaking even" We get it...you dont wanna give us anything at that moment. But remember. The generous ones do tend to get treated better and with more respect.

Tourists in general are mindless, rude and ugly to the staff. Just give us some respect and we'll do the same for you.

You know those reusable bags grocery stores sell? They are an absolute bitch to bag. The cardboard on the bottom always gets fucked up, the opening of the bag always closes in, the bags don't fit much. they suck shit

manager at a Netflix Distribution Hub

*Niggers are let go First
*we dont give a shit about about your sorry ass notes
*we clean 1% of the incoming DVDS

>>336906618

oh and here in ontario, only government liscenced and owned LCBO stores are allowed to sell alchohol and that's it, no corner stores or grocerie stores or anything (other than selling drinks themselves in bars/resturants) so its kind of a bitch to even get alchohol.

>>336906618
Im a flight attendant, I fucking hate it when you have a baby and they cry. you have a fucking pacifier USE IT.

And no, your little shit cannot come to the captains cock pit.

>>336906578

Me again. You want to carry extra shit? Buy a golf clubs bag and fill it with your shit. Most airlines have a "one free sports item" baggage allowance.

>>336906618

yeah, and to be honest i am never rude to people working in shops i did it once, id thing isnt a big deal i get the law side of things just the way it is asked

although if the person in the shop or cafe is rude i never return and if any one asks i tell them it;s a shitty place

If you can't find something at a grocery store, chances are it's an obscure item that's more difficult to find. The cashiers probably won't be able to help you as they spend their time at the front. Also, be wary of asking teenage employees...Chances are they won't know. Try asking the front desk or someone stocking the shelves.

goo[dot]gl/EuW2r

>>336903994
Spit in your own food
Inspect with black light
Inform manager
get waiter fired
?????
profit

>>336904117

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1155808256

>>336907031

Trolley dolly gets drunk on a layover and pussy grabbed at by first officer.

Unless ofcourse, you are a man and therefore GAY

>>336907031

MFW


> And no, your little shit cannot come to the captains cock pit.
> little shit cannot come to the captains cock pit.
> captains cock pit.

>>336907410

Jasmine, mitch, patrick.

Its brandon, dont fucking do that shit.

>>336907031

People seriously ask that? Wow that's obnoxious.

Counselor in an adult group home here.

State and Federal regulations make it impossible to actually get people better unless they want to get better. Even the court mandated ones. The staff of the houses bear all the responsibility and are given no tools or rights to go along with the responsibility. Clients have all their rights, but no responsibility and no consequences for their actions short of illegal activity. We can't even mandate that the clients have to be on medication or attend therapy. They're given every possible chance to succeed and when they fail there's no consequences.

Don't depend on the system to get you better. Depend on yourself.

Pic related.

>Live in Australia
>Wages
>People don't tip
>Sexy bitches
>Great beaches
>U mad rest of world?

>>336907781

my girlfriend once asked on my birthday and i was allowed in.

captain was cool.

Target: required to ask people "can I help you find something?"

do not answer "my wife, kids, husband..." i hear it at least twice a day. it's not funny.

unless you have actually lost them and are freaking out, then I find it fucking hilarious...but i'll help you find your kids before the bear does.

>>336907170

I partly disagree with this. I work in a supermarket (AUSfag btw) and I'm one of the youngest that works there (18). Yet, I know more about the store than almost everyone else here. But it is true, checkout chicks are useless

>>336906578
>>336907048

Me one last time. You have a connecting flight after your first one? Dont go for a flight within 2 hours of your ETA. Your bags most likely wont make it. You may be in a rush, but we are most certainly not. Its not just one company who offloads, transports, and loads your baggage to the next flight. Its most likely 3 different companies. Your bags will make it, but just not as fast as you can run to your next flight.

>if i stop you for a traffic violiation
20 bucks and i'm fucking gone.

>have weed
that shit is mine now. but you're off scot free. not many cops will do this. thats just me.

>be a Nigger
yes i racially profile you. i want you in cuffs.

>be a douche, tough guy, loudmouth
i WILL find a way to escalate the situation and and piss you off just so i can use more force

>reach for a weapon
will shoot you, even if theres a good chance stop you before you can get it, i legally get the chance to kill you

not even trolling

Former ACE Hardware Cashier/floor attendant here.

You can walk into most ACE Stores and steal whatever the fuck you want 90% of the time. Each store is individually owned and operated, the only thing relating to corporate are circulars and the inventory ordering system.

Most of the times the owners will skimp on the security systems and have a 3 to 6 camera system setup for the store, with a single harddrive/DVR system set up in the backroom.

Powertools are usually in the keycutting/windowscreening/workshop area in the back of the store behind a flimsy chainlink door.

Despite what they'll tell you, the cashiers are NEVER as knowledgeable as anyone else in the store, and it's usually best to fly shit by them, as most of them time they're running minimum wage and stuck as part time and don't give a fuck.

If you're black you're gonna have a floor attendant tailing you through the entire goddamned store and watching you like a hawk. If you're white you can get away with anything. If you're asian you won't ever get service. If you're hispanic and dressed like a contractor/subcontractor, you'll get waited on hand and foot and the owners will cut you a deal.

Don't bother buying anything at ACE. Markup where I worked was upwards of 300 to 400% above MSRP, depending on the item.

Weber Grills are garbage, don't let them pressure you into buying one (most stores that sell webers will give floor staff a bonus for each grill sold).

Propane canister cages are easy to break into and have a decent resale value. Be aware though, if you do steal propane canisters you will get people on your ass faster than white on rice (we had two guys from ATF and one FBI agent at the store after all three cages were broken into).

Any other questions? I've also worked at Sonic Drive-In, Lowe's, Home Depot, Kroger's, a few sex shops, a tobacconist and Spec's Liquor.

These threads used to be good, but then they all became a whole bunch of "Do something unsatisfactory and we'll be mean to you" posts.

okay i know im going to get shit for this, but hey guys can you guys please not use plastic bags. they are really bad for the environment since plastic is not bio degradable but it photo degrades which means it will take hundreds of years for it to degrade, but even then it never goes away.... so either reuse bags or just dont use plastic. okay i love you /b/ ... do this for mother earth please, and inb4 candy-ass.. yeah thank you.

>>336908004

> if i stop you for a traffic violiation
> 20 bucks and i'm fucking gone.

I would never take the risk of bribing a cop.... but if ya asked... depends probably would give 50-100 anyways

>>336908004
Timestamp pic with real badge niglet

>>336907410
>posting a costanza pic from facebook
>use summerfag insult

>>336908147

actually the energy used and chemicals used to make the paper bag is worst compared to a plastic

>>336907945

> checkout chicks are useless

some might be useless but they can be easy fucks

>>336908088

home depots/lowes is interesting

>>336908443

stupid cunt

>>336908588

I am a police, and I don't enjoy hitting the people who is asking for a renew of the government here, but I don't share neither that thing of making illegal acts to make something more legal.

It's like killing to live, yeah, you reached your objective, but you can't say that you're fighting for the life.

>TIP ME BECAUSE I GET PAID SHIT

Get a better paying job, whingebags.

>>336908594

no look it up, you think the paper industry is all smiles and rainbows?

>>336908167
>50-100
we dont make much, ive taken less than that

one time, we stopped a BMW for speeding and the driver held up a $100 as soon i walked up to the window. took it, didnt say a word and walked back to the car

best day at work ever.

>>336908192
LOLNO.

are you fucking stupid?

Any waiters here have stuff not related to tipping? I find the job very interesting but I've never been one.

>>336908573

Too right there, I've slept with 7 of the checkout chicks at my store. Most of them are hot as fuckkk

>>336908807
bullshit dash cam would have caught that,
unless your a small town or back highway cop

I work at Little Caesars. For those of you who don't know, we keep pizzas ready all the time (pepperoni and cheese). If you come in five minutes before we close and buy something that isn't already made (like five pepperoni pizzas or a deep dish specialty pizza or something like that) you are a total piece of shit and I hope you choke on your pizza. I can't fuck with it because there are a million fucking cameras in the store and my boss watches the film relentlessly but I will do all I can to give you a poor quality pizza if you come in right before we close and order a bunch of shit. Cut it very poorly, skimp on cheese or toppings, burn or undercook it, tons of jalapeno juice on the sauce, etc.

If you're a cool customer that comes in regularly I won't do that. Also if you're a customer I like I will undercharge you and/or give you free shit. But don't be "that guy" who comes in right before we close and buy a bunch of stuff after we have already put everything away and cleaned up.

>>336908907

>>336908771

I never think about the paper industry u fucking FAGGOT, I am too busy trolling cunts like you

I test software for a living, I don't check it correctly so you get bugs in the programs you use, I don't give a fuck.

>>336908004
>>336908807
this is why people don't trust police

remember everyone, don't talk to cops on the street

>>336908004
IAG will LOVE to hear about this, as will at least 30000 criminal defense and civil litigation lawyers.

BTW, if you have a suspect within 23 feet of you when they reach for a weapon, you could have a bazooka standing by, and you'd still be dead as shit.

I know this, because Tyler knows this. Tyler has a night job in the receiving ward of the county morgue. He's seen at least a dozen cowboys a year get ganked because they thought the gun, the tazer, the OC spray and the level 1 vest would protect them enough to not have to think about what they're doing and could piss off all the little people.

>>336909060

that was trolling?

>>336908994
LAPD dash cams are activated only when the officer turns it on.

Saves review time, and officer's asses.

work at the movies, only helpful tip i can give out is if you want to see a free movie, go during the day monday through thursday, usually not a door person there... the thing i love doing most though is to ID kids who want to see r rated films, and i love turning them away especially when they "forgot" their ids, makes my day and kicking you guys out of r rated films. only fun i get.. but i hate when everyone yells at me for the ridiculous prices, go fuck yourself i dont make the prices i just work there. i agree with you that everything is expensive, but guess what, thats still not stopping you from buying the eight dollar popcorn.
>eight dollars for a large popcorn? thats fucking ridiculous! how can you sleep at night?, well ill buy it anyways..

huurrrr durrrrrrrrrr

Girls in front row don't wear underwear. I look

>>336908167

In most of South America, they expect you to bribe. they may actually hold you until you try to bribe them. insiders usually tell you of the customs once you're on the inside, but not in english. the amount they expect will escalate slowly the longer you resist. as more officers will get involved. still, a little american money to us can be a lot to them.

>>336909092
Isn't that the guy that cuts pornos into kid's movies?

Are we thinking of the same guy? Hangs out with some slutty chick, short dark hair, kinda nappy?

>>336908443
>>336908443


no i know they are both bag, but paper is bio degradable plastic isnt... so just bring in your own reusable bags. plastic is fucking everywhere though, the cars we drive to the computers we type on.

>>336909726

don't reply to that fucking FAGGOT talking about his shitty paper industry

i'm bear grylls, i drink my own piss, i don't give a fuck

>>336909372

popcorn is the most profitable thing there, the normally dont make much on the tickets the profit is the food and drinks.

popcorn profit is like 1000+%

>>336909563
yeah south american is different than la

i have stories about bribing officials in south america, but some other time.... always carry cash there for that purpose .. many bribing customs to import furniture and textiles is my field

i know people that travel in convoys in brazil to avoid the shit esp car jackings

>Work at Publix as a stock clerk
>I cover all items on an aisle
>Old lady asks if we have any more of something or other in the back
>explain I work the aisle and I know we don't
>She bitches about it, so I go back there to "check"
>Talk about how much of a bitch she is with the produce and meat guy
>we all laugh
>finish the soda I had back there
>Go back up to her
>"I'm so sorry mam, I looked high and low in the back but didn't see it anywhere. If you'd like we can special order it for you though"
>"Oh no that's okay, I really appreciate you checking for me though"
>She compliments me (at Publix if you get a compliment you get a free sub from the deli)
>Fuck yea I get free food for being lazy

Starbucks Barista here
If you really want breakfast on the go, for the love of god just go to McDonalds. Costs less and it's the same frozen shit anyways. Don't ever order Iced Drinks, You get roughly a third of what you'd normally get in a hot beverage. If you don't like your drink then complain about it. Most baristas will offer to remake it for you.
But, the best tip I can give any of you. Just don't come to Starbucks. It's all fucking overpriced when you can just brew your own god damn coffee at home for next to nothing.

>>336904221
Said "Hello mate" to the area manager of my store and he complained about it to my manager.

>>336909609
wow. how's living in 1999 working for ya?

I work in a gas bar. We're having an ant problem right now. There are ants crawling in and around the fucking coffee machines. We try to keep the place as clean as possible, we had a guy come in and try to take care of them and we've been removing sugary stuff from the coffee area (flavoured syrups and shit) trying to get them to fuck off but there's still a couple of them crawling around, so I try and kill them whenever I see them. I have to keep that fucking coffee area clean all the fucking time, especially since people are pigs with their fucking little sugar packets. If we're having this much trouble fending off an ant infestation and we're always cleaning shit, I can only imagine the horrors of what happens in places where the staff don't give a fuck.

We have a boiling water dispenser for people to make tea. The tea will cost you, but if you say you've got boiling water in a coffee cup it's free, I don't fucking bother checking and if no one buys it the coffee just gets thrown out anyway.

If you try to pay at the pump and you come in complaining that the card reader didn't take your card or whatever, I'm just going to tell you to go back outside, fill up and then come in and pay. The card-reading technology is far from perfect and rejects cards and does the "bad swipe" thing a lot. I can pretty much guarantee you that either you just need to try it again, or you're a fucking dumbass who doesn't know how to follow a simple set of instructions. Same thing goes with people complaining there's something wrong with the pump/nozzle. If you're the first one complaining, I'm just going to assume you're an idiot who doesn't know how to use the goddamn thing and completely disregard you unless I get a string of customers on the same pump reporting the same problem.

>>336909609
>>336909609
I have no idea who you're talking about.

Nor would I explain further if I indeed did know who you were talking about.

Actually point of fact, I work for **A** police force. I screen people for criminality based on name, gender and DOB checks. If you hit a high enough score against our database, you have to submit fingerprints, which ties you up for about 2-3 weeks.

When you call to complain about your criminal check taking too long, we flag your file for thorough investigation which is at least a 3 month wait.

I.. don't... give... a... fuck.

>>336910081
serious question: why do my homemade mochas taste like shit. any protips for frothin dat milk the right way?

oh, and how much do they pay you. I was thinking of applying, is it worth it?

>>336910082

When I was Officer training in the British Army 15 years ago, I said evening gents to a couple of officers. And they replied what the fuck is that - the gents is something you piss in.

Either way it is disrespectful. Know your place.

>>336907916

>Little shit

Not young adult that knows not to touch shit when hes not supposed too.

>>336910175

easiest way to kill the ants is to let them feed on poison they take it back to the nest and it kills the queen, usually you mix it with sugar etc to get the ants to pick it up

cant remember the name

>>336910009
>>336910009


yeah i know, my dad says you can blame george lucas for the ridiculous over priced food items. he says that it was star wars that george lucas wanted all the money from the theaters which is why its 90-10... 90% of movie sales from the theaters goes back to the production of the film while only 10% goes to the theater, use to be 50/50...

>>336910535
diazinon

work for mcafee
we make a fucking ton off you stupid cunts all by just collecting malware off other anti virus companies then making signatures from it
i make $240k a year running a team of estonian analysts writing that shit up
life is good you fagots

>>336910437

yeah i was talking to her before about how i always wanted to visit a cockpit and she asked - i didnt expect it, it was a nice gift. i was 22. i agree no kids (little shits) in the cockpit

>>336910112
Fucking terrifying, Y2K is just around the way, and if it happens I'll never know if Topanga and Cory stay together.

>>336908088
spray paint?

>>336910639

no you don't

>>336910390
I base it on demographics. I live in Florida so I pull of the "Southern Gentleman" to the older women, the "In College Trying to Pay For Loans Guy" to the too old to flirt with women and older/adult men, the "Suave Cute Guy" to women in my dating range, the "Total Bro Dude" to Guys my own age-ish, and the "OMG you have Pokemon? That's awesome you must be really good at it! What other games do you play?!" nerd to the kids and their parents eat it up.

Needless to say, I get multiple compliments a month.

Work at a bowling alley doing food service. We get treated like shit by our superiors, barely get minimum wage, and we don't give a FUCK about your food.

>>336910175
>>336910175

dude sweet n low kills ants, thats what my mom uses when we have an ant problem.

We make Round up Ready 1 Genetically Modified Soybean.

We shit all over farmers.

I lol

>>336910535

Raid.

I don't know what they're actually using but it's been a couple of days and it's not working. The number of ants has gone down though. Either way it's not my goddamn problem, it's my super's, and I don't think our manager knows lololol.

Just warning you niggas, you may be sipping ants in your goddamn cappucinos.

I'm a cook at Maccas and I spit in everyones food, Enjoy.

>>336910387
The homemade mochas taste like shit because either A) You're espresso sucks. B) The product is just shitty.
For "frothing" or steaming milk, it helps to turn on the steaming wand and keep it at the top of the milk for about 3-5 seconds and then put it down into the milk. Creates more foam.
I started at minimum wage, but my Starbucks is inside a Safeway, so management is slightly different. I'm sure if you have prior experience they'll start you off with more, or they're in dire need.

>>336908588
Home Depot is easy to shoplift from, depending on what time of day it is, and what you try to lift. When I worked there we had no walkies/ear wigs, so it was really easy to see which orange apron was the LP officer, as he usually had a walkie talkie clipped somewhere. Most stores have a single LP officer, and it's usually a retired, out of shape cop or military serviceman. There are more employees on the floor than you know, and you're almost always being watched, but only if you seem out of place. Wear blue jeans, work boots and a flannel/crew neck, sweat a bit or splash water strategically, buy a box of screws or something and you can get away with whatever you can fit on you, without being bothered, since they'll assume you're a contractor and know what you're doing.

Don't bother trying to steal from Lowe's. Multiple LP officers, all well trained, completely nondescript and in plainclothes wandering all over the place. My district had a rash of small thefts, so every employee went through a training course on recognizing "problem customers" (ie black people), and we received a small (usually 1/5th to 1/105h the value of the items) comission when we prevented a theft.

Any other questions? Tobacconist, Sex Shops, Kroger's, etc.

>>336902973
I just started as script writer/installing servers and stuff remotely and I spent 50% online browsing the internet.

>>336903482
...........you spit in food, before you get tip. You get tip at end of meal. HOW THE FUCK WOULD YOU KNOW IF I TIPPED OR NOT UNTIL I HAVE EATEN?

if you buy food from mcdonalds/burger king, realize that anything can be in there. squirrel shit, chlorine, anything.

>>336910981

Clever guy. I'm just rude to everyone. But I am a deceitful manipulator when I need to be.

I need to be moar like you. Thanks for the thought.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diazinon

DIAZINON IS FUCKING CASH

>>336911253

do you really follow most black customers

I work at Hastings (movies, music, books)

If you want me to look something up but are annoying as shit/rude/fukkin stinky ass fucker, I will just type in random shit and tell you we're out of stock.

>>336911383
> squirrel shit, chlorine, anything
that shit make you high

>>336911586
I would implement that as a store policy.
Also search Arabs for bombs.

teacher here.


yep.

I work for a casino in California. There are people who roam the floors and assist guests on slot machines. If a small jackpot is hit, we can pay them out on the spot. We all carry $3000 in a little pouch on our hips. Long story short, if you rob us, we are told to give you the money.

>>336911971

Why would you do that? If they get the money in chips isn't it likely they'll bet it away?

>>336911971

robbing you is easy but getting away from the casino would be hard

>>336912159
slots pay in cash

>>336910175

i do this too, if you want a slushie, and can figure out how to make the machine work without making a mess, we hook you up for the small price, and if you get a small and your worthless kids make a mess, nobody knows how the fuck much a slushie is supposed to cost, and you pay for a fucking large iced coffee, which is $2 more than the fucking slushie.

the shit about the pumps is 100% true, oh, and you can go fuck yourself with trying to say something doesn't work, it works, you are fucking stupid.

finally, no, we don't have *insert stupid random shit here* even if we do, and if you are looking for *random street* NO I DO NOT KNOW WHERE THE FUCK IT IS

oh, and if you are a hot chick, we are laughing about raping you in the bathroom.

>>336911842
Grade? Do you stare at girls asses/tits?

>>336911791
i used to work at hastings... motherfuckers would take porn mags into restroom and leave them there

>>336911971
I thought casinos weren't allowed in cali

enlighten me anon

>>336912159

If you look at how slot machines work these days, customers are paid out in paper slips. If our slot attendants are there to pay out at that instant with cash, it's much more likely that the customers will hit the tables.

>>336912347
teacer here also 7th and 8th grade... i peak up skirts

>>336910922
If you looked even moderately sketchy and headed for paint, you'd have someone following you.

Hell, if you go into paint period there's a 75% chance the meth addict working the mixer will be there and all over your ass about eggshell finishes.

If you can get over there alone, don't bother. Paint is one of the few areas in most ACEs with good camera coverage.

I work in preschool.
we are not aloud to discipline/yell at/grab children even when they're being fucking nuts.
but they are aloud to slap and scream at us. if they hit us, nothing happens.


>MFW
>waittillnextyearyoumotherfucker

waiter here / restaurant
If you complain that your steak is not medium I will take your plate back to the kitchen, there I will wait 2 minutes and you got your steak back.

I don´t give a fuck about complaining guests...

>>336912902
THEY'RE FUCKING PRESCHOOLERS FAGGOT, man the fuck up

>>336912313

Technically it would not be hard to get away. We have unarmed security and no police force within 10mi of the casino. It's possible to grab a fanny pack near the entrance and get away fairly easily without pursuit.

>>336912564

Indian gaming! They're all over the place and now the market is getting saturated.

yeah, imagine 20.
with rich ass parents.
screaming at you all day, telling their parents they hate them because the parents won't buy x/y/z.
trying to choke you and laugh, slap you in the face and laugh while you're trying to get them to quit beating up on a smaller child/toddler.

YOU go work with these candy-asss for a day, then come back and talk shit.

i work at a hardware store, i cum on the wood. i dont give a fuck.

>>336913219
>Indians
Ahhhhh

I've stroked my cock slowly behind my desk as one of my 7th graders took a make up exam after school.

>>336913281
Confirmed. My first job ever was as a daycare attendant for rich kids and lemme tell you, a lot of them are pure evil.

>>336907934
They got bears in Target?

>>336912545

Motherfuckers will take porno mags and leave them in the kiddie section. Which is funny for all of 5 seconds before some little brat's mother comes bitching to me about it.

>>336913541
haha i remember that too and adult flicks in the kids moviews

I work as an usher at a movie theater:

most of us dont care if you sneak into another film, but don't draw attention my manager will make me kick you out if you are stupid and get noticed. Also when you try to sneak into a second movie and walk from one side of the theatre to the other you're going to get noticed and kicked out. And never buy food from the concessions counter. We don't give a fuck if you bring in your own food (managers do but ushers and cashiers dont).

>>336913462
No cameras in the classrooms?

i work as your cum. i cum in your cum (which is me). i dont give a fuck

Forgive me for not being a manually labouring retard who works in a grocery story, but what the fuck does paper and plastic refer to?

hahahahahaha, so many of you fags working at general stores. for fuck sakes, nerds.

>>336913770
nope

>>336905252
mindblown.bmp

>>336913462

Now why does this turn me on? Oh wait, it's /b/. Carry on.

>>336913862

types of condoms, plastic is better if you dont want babies

>>336914083
didn't want to risk cumming and getting caught. I let her leave and then finished off.

>>336905252
i worked at macdonalds for a total of 2 weeks. had to quit because my boss was a nig­gercunt. after i learned how they make the food, i decided to never eat there again.;

When i take a pretty girls cell phone for the day. I rub my cock on the mouth piece before they come pick it up after school.

I work at cheesecake factory.

If you bitch about things, you will be comped with a free cheesecake.
Do not however, eat your entire meal, then complain about it. Do not use internet coupons, nor ones that you need to print out then show them on your damn phone. it doesnt work that way. You gotta find a way to complain about something that is hard to verify, and make LOTS of noise. we want you out so you get free cheesecake.

>>336905252

>>336914353

you are probably rubbing your cock on the same place as all the other teachers

are you gay?

>>336909372
>>336909372
>>336909372

i work at a cinema too. when im working concessions, i cant even tell you the number of times a day that a customer looks at the menu, orders what they want, then complains about the price...
have you never been to a fucking movie theater before? you just spent 5 minutes looking at the board. can you not add. the prices are round numbers because tax is included which it says next to every itm on the board. tough stuff.
also fuck your children that throw their popcorn all over the floor. then you decide to let them stomp all over it. work for one day as an usher and you will never leave another item in a movie theater again. also, go kill yourself.

>>336903994
Nice idea. brb, buying blacklight

>>336913040
lol, wow. you're either trolling poorly or are very very stupid.

I create webpages for a living, I don't test in IE, I just don't give a fuck.

>>336914588

god I fucking hate people that spill their popcorn and the fucking roody-poos that leave wrappers and shit when their is a trash can right next to the door as you leave, but sometimes the stuff people leave is kinda funny. I've found condom wrappers and bottles of vodka before to name a few.

>>336914588
>>336909372
>mfw cinema $4 for regular size watered down soda

this one time i was a cashier and this guy noticed i gave him the wrong amount of change back, I came on his money. I didn't give a fuck.

>>336911821
Arabs were the second most problematic group at ACE, after blacks. We had one woman come in and try to return a bunch of 60$ padlocks with a receipt that looked legit at first glance, but after I held it I realized it was regular printer paper, not watermarked receipt paper. Turned out she and her husband and kids had been shoplifting locks for weeks (by the way, we NEVER did inventory, EVER) and were returning them to local ACE stores for refunds, using copies of a legit receipt that they scanned and printed out. We also had a muslim guy from somefuckingwhere middle east (I want to say he was a Saudi) who flipped out at a blind customer and their service dog.
>>336911586
Fuck yes we did. We had a rash of thefts (mostly padlocks and other small shit. Padlocks have a huge mark up, by the way.) and we reviewed the tape and it was a small number of black guys that came in every other week or so. We ended up banning them from entering the store after we got a good tape of them stealing about 400 dollars in drill bits, sawsall blades and cutting plates. If you were black, didn't look like you belonged in a hardware store (showing off your boxers, clean and tile caps, wifebeaters, etc), I'd purposefully fuck up your card transaction with the kill switch and say it won't read. I was nice when I started, but after all the washed checks and stolen cards, I got tired of dealing with irate black customers.

>>336915101
bs

>>336915101
I think you did give a fuck. A big fuck. I think it haunts you to this day as your life's biggest regret.

>>336915495

>>336914982
Ah a movie theater guy

>Go to movies with buddies
>All of us toss our trash, popcorn and sodas under the chairs.
>Throw popcorn
>"accidentally" spill popcorn
>Most of it was bought outside the theater

How does this make you feel?

>>336905038
>>336905793
>>336906545

seriously people. complete fifth grade spelling and grammar classes, then come back and post something. I'm sure I could have found many more stupid ass typos to tag, but i'm way too lazt to care that much.

>>336915689

I work at Wal-Mart in the Dairy/Frozen department. I've been there for a year and previously at Winn-Dixie.

They dump out all the rotten dairy, produce, and frozen products into these white buckets, then take them outside to the dumpster to sell as organic compost.

Sometimes they'll sit and ferment (today was a good example; they sat there for 4 days before anynewt gingrich handled it). They grow moldy, and you can't fathom what orange juice, bread, yogurt, butter and creamer, can smell like when it's sitting in a sealed container in Florida heat for almost a week. We also have a massive fly/cockroach infestation in the back.

The catch is they re-use them for icing.

tl;dr don't eat at the fucking Bakery in Wal-Mart for the love of God.

>>336915920

MFW

>lazt

>>336910175
Samefag. Fun fact: Asians are the only group who come into the gas bar and don't know a fucking word of English. srsly gaize. Shit's pretty diverse up in Canada, but EVERYONE ELSE can get their accent/language barrier together long enough to respond to "Is that everything for you today?" with something other than confusion and complete incomprehensibility. Get it together. Goddamn.

I work at a... cotton farm.... yeah..... cotton farm...

we employ.... poor people.....

>inb3 roody-poos

Lewl, speaking as a developer, you guys have pathetic jobs! xD

>>336909466
>>336913462
>>336912643

Do you ever flirt with students?

This is directed at any teachers

>>336902973

>>work secrets topic

>>im a cashier/bagger/cart dude for the summer

>>if you ask for paper and plastic you fucking suck


So you do all that and say WE suck? /facepalm

>>336916553
I'm a teacher, and I flirt with the hotter female students all the time. Most of them really love the attention. Just have to try and not let it get back to my superiors, obviously.

>>336916553
yeah i do... one sits in my lap
I get hard and she notices.
Doesn't say anything but giggles.

>>336903482
Erm, don't you tip AFTER eating?

19yo employed at a literacy center.

Job description is developing resources. All they make me do is answer the phone. $15/hr.

oh btw. theres like 2 phone calls a day. I get to do waht i want. play minecraft all day/

Safeway, Vons, whateverthefuckelseisaffiliatedwiththisshit

PRODUCE-
We intentionally rotate the older and more likely to spoil first products to the front, so that we dont lose money by having to throw it away ever. You're best bet is to reach for the back. This usually makes a mess, and it pisses us off.

We're generally pretty good at helping you find good produce. So if you have no fucking idea how to pick a good watermelon, because you aren't a roody-poo, ask one of us.

If the grapes or strawberries ever look old and disgusting, ask a produce clerk if there are any fresher. 85% of the time, there is, and we'll bring it directly to you.

Come in and tell us that you bought some corn that had worms in it, or bruised ass avacados, or that your bagged Fresh Express salad was wilted. No reciept? No proof of damaged produce? We take your word for it, and let you have a replacement.

>>336916784
>>336916769
curious, but I had one teacher of mine take my picture two times (even when I told him no) and compliment me numerous times on things I'm wearing...
Is this typical teacher flirting or should I have been worried?

>>336916629
+1

It's your job to accept shit from us

>>336917000
thats creepy...

Verizon Communications. they outsource most of their billing/ordering to Afni, Inc, who pay $9/hr and primarily hire kids fresh out of high school

>>336917099
It was and I was too big of a wuss to report anything. Everyone else liked him, but my friends noticed him creeping.

>>336913770

Illegal due to privacy laws in most places.

>>336916972 con't

CHECKSTAND-
We're not really allowed to use paper, or double bag any of your groceries, unless you ask. So be sure to ask.

If you ask for paper, I'm gonna pack that shit in so that nothing moves around. So you better tell me before you get your food generally destroyed.

We have this code for items left on the under carriage of the shopping cart. It's called BOB (Bottom of Basket). They'll say some stupid shit like, "Is Bob here today?" to queue the checker if you have water or shit down there. Most of the time we'll walk around to check underneath whatever you have down there, but if you have a water down there, specifically the store brand, arrowhead, or crystal geyser, most of us know the code and will just enter it and not even walk around. Get free shit.

If you're buying beer, or god forbid, diapers, and you need something expensive, like shaving blades, condoms, or lube, best idea is to jam it in through one of the handles of the box. We aren't allowed to open up your beer to make sure nothing is hidden inside. Most we can do is to feel around through the handle part, so just make sure we cant reach it that way.

I work at a resthome,
I cum in your grandparents
I dont give a fuck

>>336916769
I remember this one time, one of the girls in my class was having a lot of trouble keeping up, so I was giving her extra lessons after school. She had a major breakthrough one day. I gave her a big hug. I flirted with her all the time, but we'd never had prolonged physical contact before.

Well, it felt so good that I just had to have her right there. We looked at each other and there was no going back. I fucked her right there in the classroom. It was insane! Like no other fuck I'd ever experienced! I had her howling by the end of it all.

The best part? Her owner was so happy I finally got her to sit and heel that he gave me an extra tip! I fucking love my job!

>>336908807

bullshit.

summerfag pretending to be a copfag doesn't know about the dashboard cam on every police cruiser

>>336914918
>>336914918
i lold

DELI-
Want the cheese and meat freshly cut to the correct thickness? They're required to do that until they close. Say you want some super thick sliced roast beef, and they have to.

MEAT-
While the butchers are there, it's their job to cut meat the way you want it. So you want thinly cut chicken breast for fajitas? Don't waste your time. Grab the chicken you want, take it to the butcher, say you want it cut to x thickness, then go grab a few more things you need, and come back to get your already cut meat, no extra charge.

GENERAL-
If you want cigarettes, liquor thats locked in the box, of anything else that not of the shelves to prevent theft, don't go waiting in a line and asking a checker to get it for you, find someone not confined to a checkstand, like a stocker, produce clerk, or bagger/courtesy clerk.

SHOPPERS-
TAKE CARE OF YOUR FUCKING KIDS! They're annoying. And you suck at parenting.

I work at walgreens. I cum on your grandma. I dont give a fuck

>>336917469

What's with all the "if you don't tip, I spit in your food" shit? Who the fuck tips before they eat? Do you just sit down at the table and lay out a pile of ones, then order your food? Buncha fucking morons in here.

>>336917938
Fuck you, asshole, that's fresh OC.

>>336914588
>>336914588
>>336914588

Bullshit. I worked for two years as an usher, concession, box office, and booth at an AMC, and now that I'm gone, I sneak in all the time, and since the new employees are assholes, I sneak in pizza from Pizza My Heart, get the combo, pick off the mushrooms and throw it at the screen. That job isn't even hard. It's more fun. Cleaning a theater is entirely more goofing around than it is actual cleaning.

However, those dumb shits at the concession and box office never surprise me. I can't tell you how many times I was selling tickets, and had someone come uo to the windo and just say, "Two tickets!". If you don't tell me what fucking movie, or what damn time, I will sell you advance day tickets to see the Mr Poppers Penguins instead of Thor in 15 minutes.

>>336918128

>>336918106
it's called "repeat business". wtf is wrong with all you morons who dont get this?

you don't tip, the next time you come in you get gross shit in your food

I work at Tim Horton's.

Our coffee comes from the same supplier as McDonalds'. We brew it at a slightly higher temperature.

Our mocha does not contain espresso.

Iced Cappuccinos contain very little actual coffee; they're mostly dye, flavouring, and preservative.

The price of our coffee is so low that selling a single "Small" yields profit on an entire pot.

Cups that fall on the floor are saved for double-cupping requests.

Drive-thru performance is measured as the average time per car, across a shift, spent at the window. Piss off the management by holding a conversation with the employee, taking a long time getting your change, deliberately screwing up debit/credit PINs, and making last-minute requests (doughnuts, drink trays, sleeves, dome lids, double-cupping, receipt).

Our new fruit smissingnohies enable a plethora of nightmare orders; try combining assorted small smissingnohies with specialty iced beverages and pressed decaf. Aim for 12:00, 4:00, or 8:00 so that your order hits while they're switching till shifts. Skip the speaker and order at the window for bonus points. Mumble your order and get upset when asked to speak up for even more bonus points.

Tim Horton's employees must always "make it right". It's a policy. Order your Iced Capp or coffee with a flavour shot, taste it at the window, and complain that the flavour shot is missing. Or it's not hot enough. Get creative. They'll have to make another one on the spot, and can't take back a presented drink.

Complaining about a specific employee through the Tim Horton's website will inevitably lead to a "talk" with management. Favorite schticks include racial/cultural intolerance, allergic reactions, food poisoning, poor coffee quality, rudeness/profanity, unsanitary conditions, threats, and unwanted sexual advances.

The French Vanilla and English Toffee cappuccinos are made from a powdered base. It's mostly chemicals. Neither contain caffeine.

>>336918265
>confirmed for 12

tax toonsid

UPSfag here, nothing too salacious, it is almost impossible to get fired as a package handler, can disappear for days at a time and keep your job.

>>336918302

By the time I go back to your shitty restaurant half the staff has turned over anyway.

I normally tip 20% or more. If I don't tip at all, it means you were a complete douche the entire meal, fucked it all up, and won't have a job there long anyway.

>>336918459

ITT: pathetic americans with pathetic jobs who will never earn any real money

>>336918799
And what do you do that makes you so much better?

>>336918312

What about a hair in a breakfast sandwich, happens often at the local Timmies, I complain but still seems to always happen and it's fucking nasty

>>336919053
i'm a software developer, not like these uneducated fucks here packing bags and moving plates back and forth.

waiter

i never fuck with your food, no matter what

>>336918799
>>implying the majority of these jobs aren't just summer jobs to make money for school to build towards an actual career.

I work for Scholastic Book Fairs. Amazing how many of the educators we have to deal with are complete and total idiots. God damn.

>>336917526
read:
>>336909282

LAPD hasn't switched all their cruisers over to digital yet.. they used their 9/11 money to settle lawsuits. Most cruisers (except the ones that work in high crime areas) are still on CVHS tapes.

>>336919209
Safeway guy here. I'm 20, and I'm using this job to get money while attending college to be a business accountant. Don't get mad that you're older than all of us, yet still on newt gingrich.

>>336919209
AHAHAHAH and I am a Biomed student with three fucking Phd's! WELCOME TO THE INTERNET!

>>336919164
Spot the employee with a newt gingrichtail. Double-check for a hairnet. Mention culprit(s) in complaint to Tim's website.

If you don't know their name, or can't see the tag, mention the position and time, and give a brief description (eg: drive-thru, at the till, small older white lady with dark hair, 11:24 AM). It's easy to identify the employee, our stores are riddled with cameras.

>>336919460
>>implying that the same lazy american dumbcunts will ever amount to anything when they can't even get a decent summer job

>>336919418
same, lots of the servers I work with actually give a fuck, but maybe because I am at a nicer place, and you pay more so they'll do anything just short sucking your dick.

>>336919559
pretty pathetic you think being a software developer is such a big deal, gl with your less than mediocre life.

I work construction for Walmart and Sams when they are being remodeled or built.. At least 2 weeks out of the remodel, most cameras are down throughout the store and the scanners at the door are down for a night or so as well.

I've had a few stores where the cameras are not even connected on the sales floor.. just there to scare people. they watch the employees more.

>>336919209
hahah ITT: kids discussing their PT/FT jobs to get them through education, while some winy oldfart claims to be superior with his career. You're too old for /b/, buddy. Probably time to stop lurking...

>>336920016
Not saying you're wrong, i'm 26 so there might be something to that

>>336919895
I think you wanted
>>336919209

>>336905473

Reminds me of the time we caught some fucktard trying to steal like $100 of meat by hiding it under a huge bag of dog food. The look on his face was goddamn priceless when he got caught out.

>>336919658
no need to get so mad