bump

tell them I will go get it and hand them my labtop, and hope they take it. When *if* they leave fire up my time machine I built 24 years from now then travel 65 years in the past and undo the future that would see rap created. Afterwards put on my rocket skates which the past offers for free because they are awesome people like that and fly to the moon for a cheese sandwich.

make them show me their warrant...

Give it to them because I accidentally the whole thing

Grab my gun, kill officers then kill myself.

>>205739300
>>205739300

They show it. It's legit.

Show them my penis.

Say "let me go get it" then smash it with a hammer.

Hand it over. I have nothing on here that's worth hiding.

Sniff their crotch

I give them my computer, because I haven't done anything illegal. Also, good luck at cracking my encryption.

I wouldn't answer the fuckin door to begin with to that color uniform....DUH

#1. If they had paperwork, they wouldn't need to knock. They'd tear your door down.

#2. They don't even need paperwork. Patriot Act. Suspect terrorist files on your PC and tear your door down and take it.

There is nothing much on this computer that would be too much trouble...

Tell them I'm
In the middle of Fapping . The Delete System 32.Exe ?
Win ?

Blow them

Don't open the damned door, Windows XP operating system disk, destroys everything

use the emergency magnet i have in my safe prior to turnover

I keep all my CP on a USB stick, so comply with their request and then when they leave insert it in media centre and fap away.

Say "good luck finding my truecrypt container and cracking my ridiculous password for it."

Tell my son

i don't save anything on it

an hero anyway though

>>205738219
at that point, what's two more dead cops?

delete system 32 pronto

"Well you see officers... My computer just had a run-in with some buck-shot. About five seconds from now, actually."

ask them to ralph pls go

>>205740144

It will only wipe the data it over-wrights

>>205740144

you're a funny guy

Killing cops is like pulling a tick out while leaving its head in.

Futility.

I give it over to them immediately because I've got nothing to hide.

>>205740237
this!

Btw, running a magnet over your hard drive or opening it up, giving the platters exposure to oxygen fries the data permanently.

>>205740649
both make you feel better for awhile though.

files can be recovered even if you format the hard drive and reinstall windows over it and its the FBI that would be doing it they have plenty of people that can crack encryptions.

Point them to the old computer in the living room.

Why would they wanna see it anywho?

would putting the computer in the bath while it was turned on do anything to help the situation?

nb/ I would remain out of the bath hopefully

detonate nuke sitting next to door

Say, "sure officer, right this way!" and when they start to unhook it pull out the desert eagle hidden in the bookshelf, kill both cops, grab little sister and go cross-country killing spree while raping little sister repeatedly.

If I make it to mexico I'll be livin' la vida loco. Put little sister to work as part time whore/part time donkey show star. Start smuggling drugs into US. Find group of terrorists and network to smuggle them in; teach them basic spanish and tell Ahmed his name is Antonio and Habib his name is Jose since all brownies look alike.

Sit back on white sandy beaches as my little sister blows me, lighting cigarillos with rolled up $50's on fire, watching news on tv that terrorists I smuggled in attack US, enjoying the good life.

Yeah...the good life :)

>>603365

xlisa-hunnyx@live.com - Add my MSN for some e-lolz.

Just let them gave it. But ask them to please return it after they find nothing of interest on it.

I turn it off and hand it over so that they can enjoy whole disk encryption at the station.

>>205741184

don´t you think they have more important things to do but
trying to break your encryption for your lady gaga mp3s ?

>>205741338
champion

truecrpyt for the win

hand it over and tell them its my dads PC, let that fucker take the rap.

>>205740237
fucktard. thats what >>205740925 said

>>1363593

xlisa-hunnyx@live.com - Add my MSN for some e-lolz.

>>205741601
If they're at your house they already have a reason better than that.

Well not that there is anything that might get me in trouble on it, but I would set off the thermite charge and say that they interrupted an experiment.

>>205740925

Rookie. No it doesn't. Consumer hard drives are not closed systems. Ever see the fucking hole that says "DO NOT COVER"?

Thank Darik for his boot and nuke

>>205741896
"So /b/. You're sitting on your computer one day and theres a knock at your door. You open it and you see two police officers standing there."

read again

Once i see cops coming to the door start up dban, if not time then just take out hard drive when i see them coming and hand it over.

>>205741184

Right. Because I forgot that the officers will then turn the computer over to government space ninjas that will take apart your hard drive at a sub-atomic level to find every website that you have ever visited ever and have been filming your every move since you were able to walk.

Silly me.

Look out the window and see the cops. Open computer real quick and pull out secondary data hard drive and stash it somewhere. Answer the door and when they ask give them my parents computer. If they say that's not the right computer give them mine but no worries cause that hard drive isn't in there anymore.

I've you ever seen the FBI do a drug raid on a house they have no problem wasting money on dumb shit.

slam door lock both locks run to room lock the door format hard-drive of both comp and pray

I use external hard drives for anything that might be close to illegal. Let them have the computer. I just better fucking get it back

>>205742322
No they can just find most of the files you ever saved. Anyone that knows how a hard drive works would understand. People have reinstalled windows a few times over and still been caught with files

>>205741184

Instead of deleting something on your computer, your computer really marks that space as can-be-written-in space, and then makes it invisible to the user. This process can be redone with pretty novice software (I had to do this when I screwed up my dual boot and unallocated my whole windows drive! ).
However when you write over your drive (using software) with as many passes that you want with random junk data. This fills the drive so even if they try to undo your deletions they just get junk data.
Now this isn't perfect, but it just makes whatever Government Agency has your computer create a bunch of headaches and generally make it not worth their time. They only break out the "big guns" when it seriously comes to terrorism stuff.

tl;dr, just get CCleaner and set the option to "secure deletion" to 3-7 passes. With some TrueCrypt on your sensitive stuff you should be pretty damn safe.

>>205741601
>don´t you think they have more important things to do but
trying to break your encryption for your lady gaga mp3s ?

They don't. The resources of every government computer will be redirected and super-secret quantum decryption will be developed so they can prosecute you under the DMCA for that episode of ST:TNG that you downloaded and deleted a week later five years back...

That obviously makes more sense.

>>205742223
Hand over comp with no hard dive that is, not hand over hard drive.

The second you open the door for cops, you lose.

You're supposed to talk to them through a window, say something like "I don't open the door for cops. If you guys have a warrant, tear down the door, my hands are on the window. If not, no thank you."

>break encryption

lol

www {dot} chan-exposed {dot} ph {dot} tc
This is war, I'll exposed you guys at 4chan for what you really are. This short animation is just the beginning!
68308308

you guys are all morons. pull harddrive and throw in microwave, whole laptop if necc. Only way to kill it permanently

>>205739251
>>205739251
and i was actually thinking this post would of made some sense, lmaoo!

>>205742981

If you had obviously run a magnet over the computer or had a drive removed after the warrant was served (which would show up on the computer) or something like that, you'd be charged with obstructing justice.


Oh yeah, and unless pictures girls sent me years ago of hand-covered tits is illegal, I hand the computer over with a clean conscience.

give it to them i dont really have anything illegal allthat shit is on external hard drive

Hand them one of the many broken computers I have laying around. Copy important files, DBAN, reinstall. Also if they have enough to take your computer they usually have enough to throw you in jail, just getting a few extra nails for the coffin. Get a good lawyer and if you are clean (as far as they can tell), ... , Profit.

I'm laughing at the faggots that think the government will have difficulties with their encryption keys. Sure, maybe local law enforcement wouldn't crack it, but brute force is deceptively simple, morons.

a guy printed out directions on how to make a bomb and mailed it to some kid and killed him. Then reinstalled windows a few times over and they still found the original document on his computer.

>>205741945

see
>>205743300


My Thermite charge trumps your microwave any day.

Hit the button by the door, the one that turns on the massive electromagnet over my comp.

67145 --Declaring WAR against /b/ - Fuck all you faggots. If you want anything you can hit me up on MSN: fail-ninja@hotmail.com. I'm not scared of you.

just put the hard drive in the microwave and set it for 9000

>>6390763

xlisa-hunnyx@live.com - Add my MSN for some e-lolz.

>>205738219

wish them luck to crack my BIOS-Password....all my sh!t is on external harddrive which has much protection then fuckin FordNox guarded by the entire US Army

>>205744036

Erm, no, not usually. Search and seizure warrants are what they use prior to arresting you. If they're trying to search your home and take a computer, it means they don't have enough shit on you yet.

Also, there wouldn't be a warrant for a single computer. A seizure warrant would cover anything with a hard drive, be it a computer, PDA, PS3, etc.

MICROWAVE THAT SHIT

It's true. Everything you've ever done is stored on your hard drive indefinitely, 100% reliably, and is absolutely recoverable. In fact, your standard 80GB drive actually has about 800TB of storage available for secretly storing everything that may ever happen to it during it's lifespan along with accurate records of the drive state, barometric pressure, and dick size of the guy using it at the time. This information is, of course, only available to super-secret government agents...

Well, /b/, I have some devices made just prevent such a thing. First, I have my computer wired in such a manner that if it is not disconnected correctly, it will set off a small thermite charge wired on top of my hard drive.
Second, ALL of my doors have been wired with powerful electromagnets, so that anything that passes through them will be degaussed.
I will still be prosecuted for burning a cop, but it's better for that to happen than for me to be v& buttfucked. CP and the like is grounds for some severe punishment. Hurting cops is praiseworthy, and will buy a pass (to a degree).

>>205744519
pull your hard drive out and mount it on another computer with different bios

>>205743923
No, you would not get charged with obstructing justice. You can do whatever the fuck you want with your stuff. Plus they have NO evidence to charge you, as you can plead the fifth amendment.

There's a legal term for destroying evidence that you're compelled to hand over. It pretty much makes you guilty. I forget what it is.

>>205739251
if you went back in time to make sure rap wasnt created then why would you need to go back in time if rap doesnt exist beause if you did go back in time it wouldnt exist in your current timeline thus giving you no reason to go back in time

>>205738219

i have backup clean hdd, i'd quickly switch it and then hand them comp with smile on my face :)

Ask to read paperwork which is your right. Let them take computer if the paperwork is correct. Keep External drive and let them do what they want.

>>205744123
AES is public and is NOT easy to crack. People totally don't understand at how intense file encryption is. Seriously, get involved with an open-source developer team and do some method of file encryption; you will be shocked.

And don't start that shit about "well if its public then the fbi can do it". It is not that simple...

Run a high power electric magnet over the harddrive and give it to them. If it still works they have to get through a three level binary encryption on the hardrive.

>>205744824

You're a fucking retard. Other anon is correct; once the warrant is served, if you do anything to damage or inhibit their search and seizure, you'll go down for it.

bust out the firearms and go down fighting <--- joking

Serious:
You should be using TrueCrypt with a strong password. And use Eraser to wipe files and free space.

BTW, reinstalling Windows does almost nothing to hide your files.

>>205744728

Not true. The limits of cops recovering data on a harddrive are the same level of that of a tech. This fantasy belief that people spread that "cops can recover anything!111" yet techs are limited is bullshit. Same story, both sides. Overwritten data, destroyed HD's cannot be saved, the same way a tech is limited to what he can save and what he cannot.

I laugh at how safe most of you feel.

>>205744910

spoliation.. I just remembered it. And this anon
>>205744824
is way wrong.

>>205745056

Right, well, it's people like you who apparently know nothing about encryption protocols and back-doors that enable the NSA and the Cryptology department to remain untouched by the public.

Just because no basement-dweller can hax your CP doesn't mean it's impossible, you fucking moron.

>>205742137
>You're sitting on your computer one day and theres a knock at your door. You open it and you see two police officers standing there."
>Sitting on your computer [...] you open it and see two police officers

I read it again and Wat'd. Why are there police in my computer and why am I sitting on it?

>>205739965
>>205739767
THIS

pull the side off, rip the HDDs out and microwave them

>>205745475
well the theory is windows would write over existing data

>>205745264
Hey dude, it is one thing to go down or not, it is more the case of "what do you want to go down with". There are some sick motherfuckers in the world, and I am sure a ton of them are on /b/. They might want to fuck with the evidence on their computer, because they would rather go down for tampering evidence and obstruction of justice than massive cp quantities.

You people should try running a powerful magnet over your hard drive some time. It will do nothing to the data on there. I hope that clinging to this fallacy doesn't land you in pedophile prison some day.

give it to them so they don't go looking around and find my drugs and paraphanalia

So many fucking idiots here, but the biggest two are
>>205744824
>>205744123

>>205738219

I'd say BRB, go in, posit this question to /b/, then start full DoD compliant wipe and run like hell out the back door.

I happen to have some magnesium in the garage.

I'd put some of that ontop of my hdd and set it on fire.

I imagine the penalty for destroying evidence is less that what I'd get if they got my data.

.Say, "sure officer, right this way!" and when they start to unhook it pull out the desert eagle hidden in the bookshelf, kill both cops, grab little sister and go cross-country killing spree while raping little sister repeatedly.

If I make it to mexico I'll be livin' la vida loco. Put little sister to work as part time whore/part time donkey show star. Start smuggling drugs into US. Find group of terrorists and network to smuggle them in; teach them basic spanish and tell Ahmed his name is Antonio and Habib his name is Jose since all brownies look alike.

Sit back on white sandy beaches as my little sister blows me, lighting cigarillos with rolled up $50's on fire, watching news on tv that terrorists I smuggled in attack US, enjoying the good life.

Yeah...the good life :)

You sir, are the smartest man on 4chan!

>>205746050

A search and seizure warrant would grant them full permission to search your property and take any computer they see or deem important to the investigation. If they find narcotics or other contraband, they cannot do anything immediately, as it wasn't clearly marked on their search warrant. Legally, they'd have to leave your drugs alone and come back with another warrant at another time.

I tell them to show me said paperwork, then proceed to laugh at them when they fail to deliver.

On the extremely rare occasions I download dodgy shit I CCleaner and disk redactor (cezeo.com/products/disk-redactor), wiping all history etc and then creating junk files over free space. Do that 5/6 times and there won't be much to point to me doing wrongsies.

>>205745056
pretty much this

The people who think government agents will magically appear at the local police station and crack any encryption on the planet have never actually done much work on it. Cracking most of the encryption out there today involves finding the answers to mathematical questions that mathematicians have been unsuccessfully puzzling over for ages or have decided are unsolvable.

give them laptop after reinstalling windows. keep external hard drive

Dont you fucking know the goverment regulates how fucking complicated encryptions can be??? so unless you designed your own encryption GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE

uh DURR hand them a machine i haven't done anything illegal on.

>>205745851
It will overwrite over some data. But likely it would be overwriting mostly the Windows data that was there before. Your files will still be recoverable.

drop my external in the bucket of acid i have next to it, say hello, come on in, have phun with my clean hd

>>205746868

lol, you're a fucking retard. never speak again

I know fuck all about computers, but I like to think I'm clever enough to know AUTHORITIES WOULD NEVER LET ENCRYPTION AND WIPING TECHNOLOGIES ON THE MARKET THAT THEY CAN'T BEAT.

FFS /b/ u disappoint me sometimes.

>>205746868

It's probably not the government who wrote it, but a freelance dev who was hired to write it. But yes, all modern encryption schemes have back-doors prebuilt into them. Congress was whining about it a few years ago, but nothing happened after the hearing.

I demand a reason why.
After a legitimate reason call my lawyer.
Or
Ask /b/

A team at MIT created a encryption the goverment couldnt crack and got in trouble for it... Networking stories for the win

Yeah a giant magnet degausing the HD won't do shit FYI. Too bad you spent all that money on that stuff. I can send the drive to a company that will find out what you had on it even if it did work. Now blowing it to bits with thermite would be better. However, you'd be obstructing justice.

Hey I know don't download CP.

>>205738219
throw it fast outa window and ask "what computer ?"

>>2735382

xlisa-hunnyx@live.com - Add my MSN for some e-lolz.

Why don't you just keep your cp on a usb thumb drive and keep a hammer handy? Or put that shit where nobody can find it and just take it out to fap and trade with other pedos.

I just keep all of my questionable material on a USB stick.

>>205746868
No. There is a real legal debate happening about that currently. Most agencies won't even bother doing it because it is so hard not to be implicated for some regulation you fucked up.

>>205747352

Yea, so every PD has access to Bank Files because they know how to de-crypt those. That's why money keeps disappearing from banks!

Invite them inside for some tea and/or coffee, and speak in coolguy calm way to make them gtfo and such.

not give two shits. don't have anything on here except some stolen music. would suck for you guys who just orderd fresh cheese pizza.

go to it fast and poor my cup of water all over it, splash some in the back while its still plugged in. and then go "FUCK YEAH"

>>205747369
>>205747426
>>205746868

All bullshit. There are no back doors. The government got involved with AES for the purpose of making it -harder- to crack.

I drop my pants and beging to chant in an unhead language while also urinating on their shoes, as they call for backup and attempt to subdue me I then shit on their shoes and run upstairs, where I then sit on my pc and divide by fucking zero.

This causes the LHC to have anal sex with a mutant flea named George, who then collapses the foundational space time contiunium and therefore I spend the rest of eternity up the arse of a gay turtle who lived next door.

police do a cold boot attack

When I see the cops outside I'll grab a fifth of Jameson and chug it, smoke a bowl of crystal meth, then procede to strap on bullet proof vest and M16 rounds to chest. Start chewing some tobacco and snort a line of coke, and greet the officers with my full metal jackets then procede to go on a rampage, killing more than 260 women and children, at which point I run out of bullets. I run behind a building and slit my own throat, becoming the ultimate an hero.

Wipe drive immediately

>>205747634
>>205747762
They don't make USB drives big enough.

>>205747369
>all modern encryption schemes have back-doors prebuilt into them

Perhaps large-scale commercial ones, not all.

>>205746868

- "On balance, the advantages of more widespread use of cryptography outweigh the disadvantages."
-"No law should bar the manufacture, sale or use of any form of encryption within the United States."
-"Export controls on cryptography should be progressively relaxed but not eliminated."

do a barrel roll

Good thing my porn is on my flash drive.

pull out a gun and say OVER MY COLD DEAD BODY YOU ASSHOLES then fill the fuckers full of lead

>>205747634
>>205747762

nice hive

after reading these replies, i am going to do a lot of research about back doors and which is the best encryption.

>>205739965
not giving authorities the keys to your encryption is a crime

I'd cum on it first.

>>205746804

Hai thur mr police officer, ima just reinstal ma windows, be back in 3 hours and get it...hurr durr...

>>205747437

If you have tons of money, sure.

Overwriting the drive 15 times would do it, anyway.

>>205748448

32GB isn;t enough? You daredevil

>>205740925
not true - the platters are exposed to oxygen, there is air circulating inside the drive all the time

>>205749045
show me link on this. + plus tell officer i forgot password. problem solved

>>205749045
no.

Which is why I have a microwave in mah bedroom.

>>205738219
I highly doubt any law enforcement is going to show up to my front door wanting to retrieve a laptop with cum stains on the screen and fucking food crumbs stuck in the keyboard.

Go right ahead

OMG POLICE DON'T HAVE DECRYPTION ANALYSTS/ COMPUTER HACKERS AT THEIR DISPOSAL

OMFG MY ENCRYPTION IS SO INVINCIBLE

Cut off my balls and do heroin

truecrpyt, you will never see your comp again
but they wont see what cp you had!

I drop my pants and beging to chant in an unhead language while also urinating on their shoes, as they call for backup and attempt to subdue me I then shit on their shoes and run upstairs, where I then sit on my pc and divide by fucking zero.

This causes the LHC to have anal sex with a mutant flea named George, who then collapses the foundational space time contiunium and therefore I spend the rest of eternity up the arse of a gay turtle who lived next door.

i have a laptop and a desktop. cp in laptop, hidden somewhere, show desktop.

>>205749842
True Crypt nigger. FBI has a shitload of computers that have been shelved until they come up with the technology to break through the encryption.

Hand them my moms computer
pretend to be sad/angry they are taking my computer away

>>205749842
yep. pretty much.

Seriously, unless I were smuggling state secrets or something, I wouldn't expect more than a glance through the hard drive, browsing history, and MAYBE some basic file recovery software to be run.

Set fire to comp let it compleatly melt chop it into tiny peices then give it to them

I am amazed at how many /b/tards know fuck all about how computers work.

The following things will not erase your data or harm it in the least:
-microwave
-big magnet
-putting magnesium on your hd and lighting it (okay, that's a physics issue).. it's just not hot enough to burn through

If you happen to have a HD degausser, then yes, it will make the data -mostly- unrecoverable, but all the cops need to do is take an intact segment of a known illegal file and match it up; they don't need to display a perfect specimen of cp to prosecute you.

If you encrypt all your data, even with a shitty protocol like crypt or zip, it will make it next to impossible to do the above because they can't make a partial match on the data and they can't successfully decrypt it even if you hand the password over.

tl;dr you don't know shit about hard drives

Throw CP in the recycle bin before they enter, obviously. Are you all dumb?!?

hand them my computer, switch to paper documentation, follow cops and computer, come back at night and make it look like it fell from wherever they stored it. hdd broke

Remove hard drive give them empty laptop

Give them harddrive, they find nothing... cos I'm not a fucked up peice of shit like you guys.

quickly put on clown paint on mah face.

Then jump on a nail and yell really loud.

>>205751754

That's probably the best solution I've heard yet.

A friend of mine had his computer ganked by the feds for wardialing. They took everything, monitors, power supplies, floppies, printouts. Funny shit happened:

-they searched his toilet tank
-they took his VCR because he had a computer monitor plugged into it

they gave it all back a couple months later and didn't even charge him with the misdemeanor for wardialing, probably because they were looking for someone else.

>>205752153
not all of us are pedofags
some of us are piratefags

Just open up the hard drive and smash the physical disk. Data has never been recovered from a shattered disk.

Give them the fake one I keep by the door for just such an eventuality.
Of course that one's full of CP too.

>>205748251
>>205749095

best.

>>751991

xlisa-hunnyx@live.com - Add my MSN for some e-lolz.

give laptop, hope they accept

I would have a seat right over there.

I don't think ya'll realize that Truecrypt is literally one of the best encryption tools out there. If you formulate a 32 character password that consists of numbers and letters with no specific words in the password, they will not be able to crack it (even, say, the FBI).

Even by coming to /b/ you pretty much guarantee that there is CP SOMEWHERE on your computer whether you click the thumbnails or not, so you fags bragging about how you wouldn't have to worry are dead wrong.

Get a triple redundant UPS and a fuckload of RAM, and keep all your illegal shit on a ramdisk. When you hear the doorbell, hit the login window. Claim it's your friend's computer and you know nothing. Lawyer up. Stall, whatever. When they shut it down and take it to the lab, no problem.

>>205749045
The fifth amendment is a crime?
dumb fuck

HOLY SHIT /b IF I CLICK THE TUMPNALES DO I GET CPED?

your cache from going on 4chan has enough CP to smash you for possession of it. Honestly, if they want to fuck your bum, they will, all of you people who say "my comp is legal!"
so unless you're encrypting everything new that gets on to your computer all the time, or you destroy your HDD (still jail time), you're screwed.

someone seriously give some real answers here

regarding finding CP on the hard drive after an OS reinstall, couldnt one simply say it must be from a previous owner of the HD? There have been loads of tests done on random second hand HDs and CP is found all the time. Cops couldnt easily disprove.. unless theres like a file that has your personal info and cp in it at the same time

funnily enough, I know someone (an ex-friend) who got busted. no cp on the machine, but chat logs.
He spent 12 months in Barlinnie (google it, as bad as a western jail gets) in a special unit, with TV, Sat, food, pool room, the works
21/2 years ago that happened, and his wife still hasn`t got her laptop back!
tl,dr wish I had something illegal on it, so I could spend some time chilling, getting fit and living for free

>>205753953
see
>>205750518

Cry

>>205754035
have fun chilling with a bunch of guys who want to go out of their way to punish you despite having also done terrible things with their lives

Keep in mind there is a good chance of getting convicted even if you just appear to probably have something illegal. This isn't a math proof.

Saying, "it must be from the HDD's previous owner," will not help you.

>>205753371
best idea.
but instead of blowing tons of $ on a ram drive just make a ram partition and when your computer looses power the info is automatically wiped clean. the partition may be there but NO info will remain

does anyone ACTUALLY know someone who had illegal stuffs protected by truecrypt, got v& then the cops couldnt find anything? Otherwise how do we know it actually works....

i take out my harddrive and stomp that shit... make sure no screws are holding it in...

1. Not open door when cops outside.

you all have cp on your computers form lurking /b/.

even when you dont even open a post but there is a thumbnail displaye, it is saved in your temporary internet files.

"what if i delete those files?"

delete doesnt get rid of shit, just renames it most of the time. don't believe me?

download recuva and scan your computer for deleted files. all that sick shit you thought you deleted? still there.

then run it on your girlfriend's computer and steal the pictures.

Download and learn how to use these 3 tools:
1. TrueCrypt
2. Eraser
3. CCleaner

BLAST HARD DRIVE WITH PISS

Before that happens, delete all of your CP, why the fuck would you have that shit anyway? get some proper porn you faggot, also delete anything else illegal you may have, download and install CCleaner, run it.. then Start Menu > Run > cipher /w:c:\ - that will over-write the free space on your hard disk, firstly with zeros, secondly with random data and thirdly with FF's (If you don't believe me on cipher, go fucking google it)

lol its funny how many people think the cops are going to stand around and wait while you "switch out hard drives with a clean one". or "Install WIndows XP" or any of the other asinine shit . "Excuse me officer, I'll give you my computer as soon as I smash the HD with a 5 pound sledge hammer, and replace it with this clean, new one. Have a seat in the living room, I'll be a few minutes."

ask them if they want coffee, then put turn on microwave that I installed around laptop

>>205754605
forgot to mention to set your browser temp and cache dir to the ram partition as well so every time you reboot there will be NO browser history, thumbs, nothing on that partition you made on your ram will remain...

CIPHER /W:C:\

Problem solved faggots

http://news.cnet DOT com/8301-13578_3-10172866-38.html

>>3959170

xlisa-hunnyx@live.com - Add my MSN for some e-lolz.

I am not a lawyer, nor did I stay at a holiday in express last night, but based on what I've read about people getting v&, a cp prosecution involves a lot more than whatever material evidence they get from your pc. there's also circumstantial evidence like IP logs of you visiting known cp hangouts, presence of certain applications on your pc like winrar and truecrypt, and what kind of shit you google for. And with a subpoena they can get that shit handed right over if they think you're a big enough player. They'll probably take photos of your sailor moon dolls and furry con badges too. If you destroyed the hard drive you'd just be charged under a spoliation ruling like whoever the fuck said up there.

>>205754605
>>205755550
anon is right. make a ramdisk and move your browser and windows temp dirs to said partition everything you browse will be stored on that partition of ram. when you shutdown or reboot the slate is wiped clean and no trace of it can ever be found.

what do ?

..... problems , allies officers ?

>>205754765
>does anyone ACTUALLY know someone who had illegal stuffs protected by truecrypt, got v& then the cops couldnt find anything?

I would imagine if this happened to me, I probably wouldn't be telling my story to the papers or blogging about it...

There are a few recent cases involving encrypted drives, but they generally had enough evidence outside of that to go ahead with the case.

Basically, if you've been on the Internet for a few minutes, there is probably SOMETHING in your cache that a deranged prosecutor can point to and say I think that looks illegal. If that's enough to go to trial and gain a conviction, then that's really a problem with your government making it THAT easy for someone in power to railroad you into prison over nothing.

>>205755550
yeah, thing is I know how to set up a ram partition but I'd be a noob and fuck up hiding the browser evidence. I hate that shit.

I'm a cute faggot so I don't care even if I were arrested. I would be more than happy to give my smooth ass to all those well endowed inmates ^_^

>>205757477
prisoners hate child molesters

>>205752608
yes, because piracy is a crime

lolwut

with a good supercomputer, encryption can be broken.

>>205757652
which is why they're kept separate in most prisons.

Not all, mind. But I know people who've gone through prison; it's not all American History X FFS.

Hand them my Dummy PC, which has no hard drives in it but looks like the real thing.

I am a Mac user...

>>205757716
cause the cops just have supercomputers laying around ami rite

>>205757243
google on how to move windows and browser temp dirs to a different location its not hard at all. also makes computer run faster because it does not keep a ton of useless files on your pc. auto wipe clean on every shutdown

>>205757652
Not when they are cute as me ^_^

I don't click on the CP that is posted in /b/, but can they still get me anyway?

>>205741338
epic winrar

>>205744728
win

learn to ramdisk noobfags

Be frustrated but compliant. Its a bullshit world, and i'd be pretty sure the cops don't like doing their job half the time. Nothing to hide on my computer that would amount to more than a slap on the wrist (torrenting stuff I own but can no longer find the original CDs of). I'd ask them if they could wait a moment whilst I backed up some of my stuff, despite the likely answer being "no", even if they watch me back it up.

Then i'd be bored as fuck, being an internet hermit, until they give it back.

Anyone here remember when what.cd leaked COFEE?

The feds are one thing, but local police haven't got shit in the way of computer technology. I'd wager my local precinct couldn't, on their own, get into my Windows Machine if I put a logon password on it.

The best these fuckers are gonna be able to do is to take the drive out of the bay, hook it up to another computer via USB, and run something to the effect of UnstoppableCopy to manually pull files from the drive itself, ignoring the boot sector/tables. That's IT. You think if those files are encrypted, or the drive's been rewritten with random data to cover deleted sectors, or the HDD's been dropped from a few feet and spindle bearing seizure locks the drive, the cops will have any fucking recourse?

Idiots.

>>205739998

THIS.

NEVER
ANSWER
THE DOOR

Police don't go knocking on your door to offer you free candy. DO NOT ANSWER.

I would give them my computer. And only my computer. Everything of any value to me, and/or anything even mildly incriminating is backed up on external hard drives, which I would hide. They'd walk away with a almost completely clean, substandard, 5 year old laptop and nothing else.

Besides, I've been looking for an excuse to upgrade to a newer machine.

for the win

as long as i got it back, whatever. i don't care about what they find because nothing incriminating is saved on my computer, greasy pedofags.

>>205738219

I don't understand. The officers can just put CP pictures in your computer if they have yours. This makes no sense.

>>205759352
yes but for those of us with LIVES, police may show up at the door to notify you of a noise complaint or something to that effect. I've had police show up just to ask if I'd heard anything inre: neighbors fighting downstairs.

Not every visit is a bust, guys.

The only thing i have are cached thumbnails in my browser.... thanks pedos! I have a wiping utility that secure deletes my cache upon quit. So easy. Just quit FF and hand over.

>>205759678
temporary internet files still exist, buddy.

>>205760317
ramdisk solves that problem buddy

>>3321597

xlisa-hunnyx@live.com - Add my MSN for some e-lolz.

>>205760449
Sure, if you've had the foresight to set up your computer with RAMdisk from day one.

>>205760653
it is one of the very first things i install right after my drivers

www {dot} chan-exposed {dot} ph {dot} tc
This is war, I'll exposed you guys at 4chan for what you really are. This short animation is just the beginning!
57840562

>>205760284
what do you think cached thumbnails will do anyway?

Yeah, a 200px by 200px shot of a girl who may or may not be young and who may or may not be naked. It's gonna make powerful and compelling evidence in front of a jury when a 23 year old man who browses the internet has some thumbnails containing only potentially illegal material in his deleted temporary internet files with no corresponding saved images to match.

the best policy is to immediatety hide your pipes, bongs, bags of weed and amphetimines, close the window on your computer wit the CP in it, open the door slightly and then step outside locking the door behind you.

Tell them that the person that they are looking for is not home and that they do not have your permission to search the house at this time.

After they leave, get the bongs, pipes, weed, and amphetatmines and the computer and put it in the car.

use all the amphetimines and then try to smoke some weed to calm down.

take the HD to a remote field and carefully dissasemble it with a tiny screwdriver.

Now extract one of the magnetic plates from the drive and run it lengthwise across your penis hole.

Now every time you masturbate, you will feel the pain that these children have felt.

>>205761201

It actually will, if they want your ass.

That's why I do nightly Gutmann wipes.

>>205744728

>>205754996
>you all have cp on your computers form lurking /b/.
>thumbnail displaye, it is saved in your temporary internet files.
>"what if i delete those files?"
>delete doesnt get rid of shit

It's true. Everything I've ever looked at, typed, browsed, and that has popped up is stored on my HD. It's like a complete history of everything: My entire history of Internet use, Google Cache pages, and the WayBackMachine all rolled into one. The entire Internet's worth of shit is magically stored using NO FUCKING SPACE on my hard drive.

Seriously.

www {dot} chan-exposed {dot} ph {dot} tc
This is war, I'll exposed you guys at 4chan for what you really are. This short animation is just the beginning!
64322459

There are 2 parts to this story. How to hide your crap. And how to convince the cops you don't have any crap.

Really, the more important thing is to be nice and cooperative with the cops. If they like you and believe you are innocent, they aren't going to try to cause trouble for you.

>>205761201

Better safe than sorry... I don't want proof I surf this shit hole. Son I am Disapoint

>>205761668
If the cops want you, they'll drag you to court on it. But unless you're a greasy-looking 45 year old Chris Hansen wetdream type, you think that shit'll matter?

A court-appointed attorney could show, in five minutes of arguing, that those files are of a type which are downloaded involuntarily whenever you use the internet, demonstrating (at most) that the user visited a site where these images existed.

Coupled with defendant testimony that he has the habit of browsing internet image boards, where anonymous posters upload images without any moderation until after an offending image has been reported, it would be immediately apparent to any jury that the defendant was guilty simply of being on a website where, unbeknownst to him, somebody had placed child pornography, which he did not voluntarily download and from which he swiftly exited his browser.

If you're young and you don't look like the kind of guy a jury is afraid to leave their kids with, and you start, crying, I think you'd be fine.

>>205762355
How full is your drive? The reality is, if you've got an 80GB HDD with 15GB of data on it, there's a REAL good chance most of that other 65GB is old deleted shit that hasn't been overwritten yet.

Okay, I had another awesome idea (to go with the ram disk one).

You should have two user accounts on your machine. One is the one you look at cp with (or download pirated software.. shyeah, you'll get arrested for that).

The other is an account that looks like it's used, but you've got a service running that dumps the ramdisk the instant it sees that account log on. Cops ask for your password, you make a big fuss and give them the fake one.

coolface.jpg

I think very few people actually get V& in the long run. As long as your not downloading excessive amounts of CP or being massively secretive about it the feds will look at it like a drop of water in an ocean of immorality.

If they know sum1 has a history of downloading CP and also constantly runs TOR (developed by US navy intelligence btw so they DO know what your looking at) they're gonna get suspicious and raid. Just keep its small and above the radar and you'll be fine.

>>205763404
your ram looses ALL INFO as soon as it looses power.
so no need for two accounts and all that other crap.
to put it simply as i stated before.
install the program, make a partition, move ALL temp dirs to that partition (google is your friend)
and as soon as you unplug it to hand over to cops all info is automatically wiped.
no need for all the other b.s. you just said....

you guys are in denial.

get recuva and scan your drive.

i found all kinds of imcriminating shit. if my girldfriend ever learns how to use recuva, i am am gonna get left hard.

all you guys that securely delete your files- god bless you.

i found a picture of a naked redhead pregnant woman on a computer that I bought from goodwill.

i fapped to it but thought that it would be wrong to keep it.

does running a file shredder (like in glary utilities) do any good?

DESTROY COMPUTER

www {dot} chan-exposed {dot} ph {dot} tc
This is war, I'll exposed you guys at 4chan for what you really are. This short animation is just the beginning!
59756808

>>205763386

I don't know what FS or formatting scheme you use, but mine does not choose a never-before-used sector to write to each time it decides to record data. Cache files and other temporary storage generally go on top of what was recently cleared and close to where the drive head happens to be at the time.

tell them all about the dago maggot.

nothing works. you are all fucked. FUCKED.

i used to look at CP.. when i was a child.

these days i still fap to it occasionally but its just not worth the risk. plus, there is the moral issue. it feels bad, man.

why do somethign that feels bad?

>>205764833

You're not thinking this through. What are you gonna do, panic and blow your illegal porn collection every time the pizza kid knocks? Count on being able to tell it's the cops, and not the pizza kid ringing your door while the sheriff is hiding in your shrub?

If they shut it down and take it with them, you're fine. If they demand you log in and you refuse, or they catch you running back to shut it down, you're gonna spend some time in court.

I'd give them my sister's laptop.

>>205765708
> i used to look at CP.. when i was a child.

I love it when closet pedophiles say this.

I used to look at van halen videos and the smurfs when I was a child. I didn't get into pr0n until I was sexually aware.

>>205765800
put camera that streams live to ur computer at ur door?

>>205765800
cops will NOT ask you to log in while at your residence, they will however say hand it over, then take it and leave.
to take it it has to be unplugged........
its not a matter of if i have anything illegal or not. its a matter of i want to keep my pc clean of ALL trash files which include browser history.

dude, if I have something on my pc that I could go to PRISON for, I'm not taking chances with a halfassed solution. They could tackle me on the way back to hit the kill switch. I need a solid plan.

i mean, when i was 16 i used to look at porn of 14-18 yr olds.

this is pretty normal, albeit risky.

i still look at porn of 14-18 yr olds, but i dont feel the desire for those types of bodies anymore. these days i want a woman, not a little girl.

"why should i fuck with little girls? they are too small."

fill it full of .38 cal holes

>>205767055

The whole point of COFEE is that it detects shady shit going on before they pull the plug. They actually used similar tools to bust pedos in nz. But it has to be run by a user, which means they will show you a warrant and compel you to log in. They have no way of knowing whether you've got a real login and a DFE login.

tell them good luck , i'm behind 7 proxies.

then realize proxies are useless when they take your physical computer away.

>>205767116
read
>>205767055
>>205764833
>>205759552
>>205758420
>>205755550
>>205754605

What you need to actually do is have 2 hdd's right put all ur illegal shit on the slave and make sure you can open your case very quickly, i can on my. Takes about 20 seconds maximum to open take ou hdd put it back on. Do not give them permission to come into your house they need a warrent for that, this is assuming they only have one for your computer. OR you can lie and say you dont have a computer?

>>205767458
if you were looking at 14-18 year olds you weren't looking at CP.

Ask this gentleman.

GUTMANN METHOD MOFUCKKAAAA!

> cops will NOT ask you to log in while at your residence, they will however say hand it over

bunch of nz pedos sitting in prison right now would beg to differ. They got busted precisely that way (although being able to shut down would not have saved them)

in the US, anything < 18 = CP

i know that most of you fuckers are talking about 5 year olds, but i think that a person is still a child and needs to be protected until they are 18 years old.

apply the "walls of jericho" to them

1) I do not open the door until I see a badge, ID, and a warrant. While they are doing that, I pull the drive and swap with a generic install of Windows that gets run once in a while with standard games and some neutral BS web history.
2) Stash the main drive in an airtight bag in the wife's tampon box (SSD, smaller than standard SATA).
3) Record the whole process on video, requiring them to visually sign off on each and every piece of hardware.
4) Call a lawyer and sue

triforce their ass
▼ ▼
   ▼
upside down

>>205767863
I'm sure they'd come with a warrant to seize any and all computers, media, and paraphernalia related to child exploitation

ask them if they also want to see my weed-box by the same occasion
^^

Questions them as to why they are taking it..
Tell them I will get it, I go rip out HDD bay and pop in dud drive and bring it to them. Question when It will be returned and ask them if they can fix it because it has not worked correctly for a while.

>>205768402
i was unaware of that COFEE program. so i stand corrected.
if in any case you could always make a mad dash to your pc and hit the power button.
you may get in trouble for obstruction of justice but you will not get in trouble for any cheese pizza

i used to fantasize about fucking when i was in first grade. all i knew is that is was like doing push-ups, but i sure did want to do some of those special push-ups.

i began masturbating before grammar school. i got a hold of my first actual porn at 8.

I think that this is pretty normal. We are sexual creatures from birth.

But you pedo's are digging your own grave.

>>205767770
I like this.

Also, external storage with degaussing setup, & random overwrite special shutdown script should do the trick...

also, quit storing crazy shit on computer.

Haven't you ever watched a cop show? You think they left the warrant in the car or have it wadded up in a hip pocket in case you don't ask for it?

They stick that shit in your face right off. Once you hear "we have a warrant," you are legally compelled to stay put. You don't get to shut the door and say oh uh, okay, just a, er, minute, I'll be right there...

If you ask for a warrant and they don't have one, you will either have to stand there while they watch you like a hawk and radio back for one, or you'll have to go downtown with them for questioning. Then you have to pray that they don't actually get a warrant.

This must be why so many people get busted for cp.

i know the solution to this problem but i am not going to share it with you fucking pedos.

grow up, stop looking at underage poontang, you could be fucking a real woman right now.

Since I would get my ass beat due to my lack of firearms or defense mechanisms, I'd say, "Uhm...okay. Hang on."
Then DELETE FUCKING EVERYTHING.