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The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

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Over the past 48 hours 4chan's formspring page has gotten over 12,000 questions, and I've received over 3,000 e-mails. Many thanks to everyone who submitted a question, and sent me a message! I was able to respond to a few hundred e-mails and had hoped to start answering questions on formspring, but it seems that the number of questions broke the page. Once that's sorted out, I'll sift through them and answer as time allows.
Thanks again for all of the support!

In other news, /rs/ now processes MediaFire/MegaUpload/and a bunch of other links correctly (this had been broken for months). The old links should be updated in about a week (the checker is taking a while).
Thanks to Popcorn Mariachi for spontaneously appearing and fixing this.

Final reminder: Ask questions here, e-mail me here (I read *every* one), and follow 4chan on the Twitter here.

File : 1267462034.png-(72 KB, 504x466, ninetails.png)

lawyerfag 03/01/10(Mon)11:47:14 No.202494XXX

ITT: ASK A LAWYER ON LUNCH BREAK ANYTHING

>>	Fenrir Wa§ Here !xNvaRKZHMI 03/01/10(Mon)11:47:54 No.202494XXX why so ninetails?

>>	Anonymous 03/01/10(Mon)11:48:22 No.202494XXX Your name isn't David is it?

>>	Anonymous 03/01/10(Mon)11:48:25 No.202494XXX do you have a heart?

>>	Anonymous 03/01/10(Mon)11:49:04 No.202494XXX I have to give a deposition next week. what should i wear?

>>	Anonymous 03/01/10(Mon)11:49:28 No.202494XXX hi david

>>	Anonymous 03/01/10(Mon)11:49:33 No.202494XXX How many virgins blood have you drank ? You blood sucking beast.

>>	Anonymous 03/01/10(Mon)11:49:51 No.202494XXX why are u a faggot?

>>	lawyerfag 03/01/10(Mon)11:51:49 No.202494XXX >>202494361 >>202494518 >>202494595 >>202494371 >>202494536 no. >>202494459 if it's to be videotaped, wear courtroom clothing. if it isn't, wear anything you want.

>>	Anonymous 03/01/10(Mon)11:53:33 No.202495XXX What do you specialize in? Civil court, divorce, criminal?

>>	lawyerfag 03/01/10(Mon)11:56:17 No.202495XXX >>202495183 i do small-time tort litigation (common negligence, battery, etc)

>>	http://zeus.ubershells.com/~vxp/shani.tar Anonymous 03/01/10(Mon)11:58:41 No.202496XXX File1267462721.png-(385 KB, 743x579, 2884666598.png)

Anonymous 03/01/10(Mon)11:58:43 No.202496XXX

>>202495662
I've always been curious about this, and you may not be the right person to ask, but I'm gonna try anyway. If a job application does NOT state that you are going to be required to take a drug test, meaning that you never agreed to it, can a job still screen you before hiring you?

>>	Anonymous 03/01/10(Mon)11:59:29 No.202496XXX Will I go to prison for having a CP picture?

>>	Anonymous 03/01/10(Mon)12:01:09 No.202496XXX Okay, if I battered the shit out of this girl and she's trying to take me to court what case should I make if it's my word versus hers...? What if she brings out the waterworks?

lawyerfag 03/01/10(Mon)12:01:43 No.202496XXX

>>202496025

1. my answer below may change depending on the state, buuuuut...

2. they can test you but you never ever have to take a drug test for a job, ever. if they spring one on you, just refuse it and say you no longer seek their employment. further,

3. most states are "at will employment" which means they can fire you for any reason at any time whatsoever, except in extreme circumstances (protected classes can't be discriminated against based on that protected status, etc)

lawyerfag 03/01/10(Mon)12:03:24 No.202496XXX

>>202496139

if they catch you with one and prosecute and you're convicted, yes.

>>202496397

in this instance it's an issue of fact which is a jury issue... basically you hope you get a sympathetic jury. you might get lucky on summary judgment, though, if there's no actual evidence. but most judges would let the jury sort out who they believed.

>>	Anonymous 03/01/10(Mon)12:03:26 No.202496XXX >>202496477 Groovy, thanks

>>	lawyerfag 03/01/10(Mon)12:04:36 No.202496XXX >>202496397 though also i would imagine if you "battered the shit" out of someone then there would probably be SOME evidence, somewhere. doctor visit, pictures, witnesses, something.

>>	Anonymous 03/01/10(Mon)12:04:46 No.202496XXX >>202496733 For having just one? Well fuck, thats stupid. I'd expect like maybe a month in jail or something but not prison time.

>>	Anonymous 03/01/10(Mon)12:05:07 No.202497XXX >>202496733 thanks for the answer. That's fucking gay, so I just have to hope the jury agrees with me?

>>	Anonymous 03/01/10(Mon)12:05:16 No.202497XXX what are you having for lunch?

>>	Anonymous 03/01/10(Mon)12:06:54 No.202497XXX i got a suspended imposition of sentence on a DWI. does this mean that if an employer does a background check on me they won't see it?

>>	Anonymous 03/01/10(Mon)12:06:56 No.202497XXX why are you so gay, you jewish homo?!

lawyerfag 03/01/10(Mon)12:10:02 No.202497XXX

>>202496945

assuming the sentence is longer than 12 months, yes. i figured it was but am not exactly sure, now that i think about it. in any event you will go at least to jail, if not prison.

>>202497009

yes.

>>202497028

orange chicken and pork fried rice

>>202497289

they probably will; i can't imagine any background checking service that won't report someone on probation

>>	Anonymous 03/01/10(Mon)12:11:01 No.202497XXX >>202494182 200M GET

Anonymous 03/01/10(Mon)12:11:08 No.202497XXX

Alright OP, here goes:

When I was 20, sophomore in college, I fucked an old friend from highschool (she was a freshman when I was a senior) that was 16 at the time. I live in NE, is that statutory? A douche that is dating her now found out and is threatening to report me or some shit. I assume that nothing can happen because she doesn't care and would never report me, I just want to be sure my life can get fucked because of this.

Sex offender registry FTL.

>>	Anonymous 03/01/10(Mon)12:11:50 No.202498XXX >>202497818 i also didn't get probation

>>	Anonymous 03/01/10(Mon)12:12:00 No.202498XXX What's the statute of limitations on the kind of crime you usually work with?

Anonymous 03/01/10(Mon)12:12:12 No.202498XXX

>>202494182
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TITS @100
CP @150

go go go

420's tits

>>	Anonymous 03/01/10(Mon)12:12:54 No.202498XXX >>202497998 Well, as per New England state law, you're a fucking dumbass.

>>	Anonymous 03/01/10(Mon)12:13:07 No.202498XXX what you eating? is it delicious?

lawyerfag 03/01/10(Mon)12:18:02 No.202499XXX

>>202497998

1. which state in new england
2. how old are you now
3. what proof do they have of this actually happening?

>>202498127

i don't deal with crimes ;]

but the answer to the question you are trying to ask me is seven years

>>202498324

as stated above, orange chicken and rice. and yes, it is very good.

>>	Anonymous 03/01/10(Mon)12:21:21 No.202499XXX >>202499186 NE is Nebraska. I'm 22 now, but I was 20 and she was 16 at the time. None really. Just that we fucked and she told him about it. No kids/STDs or anything from it.

>>	lawyerfag 03/01/10(Mon)12:24:52 No.202500XXX >>202499728 no penalty; this would not be illegal in nebraska.

>>	Anonymous 03/01/10(Mon)12:28:47 No.202501XXX >>202500357 Excellent. Enjoy your chicken.

>>	lawyerfag 03/01/10(Mon)12:34:34 No.202502XXX this thread is now closed. lunch is over. =]

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