Once this is done im gonna compile all the advice into a book, thanks /b/ in advance, and i truely mean it.

This is relevant to my interests

when talking to people, do not look into their eyes. Look only at the left or right ear.

Possible epic luls thread, i might aswell make my contribution.

When your in a supermarket open up all the drinks and spit in them...yes another spit one.

Or when you find yourself walking past a car with an open window,and no ones around, piss in it

>take a shit, and cut it up into little chunks, put the chunks into separate sandwich bags, piss in the bags a little bit and put them in the freezer, when they are frozen, go round to public places like libraries, take them out the bags and hide them all over the place

this is more like urban terrorism

Wehn in a toilet and someone is using a urial go in the one next to them even if all the others are free.

Sleep with people with AIDS, hilarious!

When in cinema laugh loudly at everything that is moderately funny

>>194002485

Nah, this is more like, how can I pretend to have assburgers

and errm heres one

Go into a super market and carefully insert nails/needles etc into apples and bananas etc.

Take a shit in a public restroom, smear feces on toilet seat.

clear your throat any time someone starts a sentence.
eat nothing but corn for a week then sow your seeds of destruction in a quiet public place.
pee on ALL toilet paper in public restrooms

when someone asked you something answer "yes" before they end... for example they ask you about your favourite food, you said yes

Do it at least 20 times in a day

Blow your nose on books in the bookstore

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=YX2LFDLF
ANONYMOUS DELIVERS

>>194002253
I spit my gum into open car windows.. or if there arent any around, into the pocket between the windshield and hood.

Insert porn printouts between pages of children's books at the library

>>194002952
lel

also when someone's computer is off
Unplug it and piss in the power supply.

Even if it dries it will smell like piss everytime it's on.

drink corona.

epic thread

>>194003085
better yet, poo dipped q-tip in between keys on keyboard

ALWAYS listen to your MUSIC ON MAX VOLUME , so everybody around you can hear the leftovers , extra points if you listen to rap

OP here

Send somebody you dont like, jolly rogers cookbook or 'terrorist manuals'. Then call the police and inform them anonymously that you believe they have terrorist guides. They will have most likely not thrown them away and kept them. The police will arrest them and sentance them to hard jail time.

Need more covert ideas.. besides spitting gum into people cars.. when ever someone is parked like an ass hole in 2 spots I walk by the car with my key in hand and give it a good ol' grazing... totally hidden while walking by. Easy in winter with gloves and at night in areas where there are no cameras

Piss on the floor in public bathrooms.
Don't hold the door for anybody.
Shit on someones head.

Everytime Im in a bathroom and get a shy shitter I like to just wait in there doing nothing for a few minutes. Its hilarious watching them squirm trying to hold it in. Then I open and close the restroom door so they think the coast is clear. What I do next depends on my mood. I either throw myself into the wall of the stall screaming or wait for the splash then whisper "im proud of you".

also, dont throw yourself too hard into the stalls wall. Theyre not nearly as strong as youd think.

>>194003489
newfag

OP here again

Dip cigarettes in highly concentrated tobbacco extract. Leave the cigarettes in packets for niggers to smoke. Murdering niggers just got that much easier.

>>194003475
smear feces on car door handle, fuck dignity

194002738 You sir, are a dick.

Go to sad movies, and laugh at when a main character dies(or at any sad parts)

Drop condoms in random peoples carts.

Go see a movie in theatres that you have seen already and start saying lines 5-30 seconds before the movie says them.

Walk-By facials.

Randomly piss on someones leg(public of course)

Piss on a bus seat

Interrupt someone with a Knock Knock joke every time they start a sentence(same joke repeatidly will work since its only rude and not funny)

Ask chubby women if theyve put on some weight

walk past someone to get to a door far in advance, start holding it for the person but then make a disgusted face and push it closed and walk off before they reach the door.

>>194003285
I have had way to many neighbors complain because of this.

Take your old lady to a party at the local Hells Angels Clubhouse on a leash and piss off all the dykes in the girl BP clubs.

>>194003752
lol'd at some

If someone offers you a piece of fruit, tell them you're a carnivore.

Have a little jar that says "Free Candy" on it. Put only tootsie rolls in it.

Cut in line and act oblivious, if the other person starts making a scene, cut the person behind them.

Trip children that run in wal-mart (mexican/nigger ones are easy targets..no parents around)

Empty people's lunchbags at work and change around what they have between them. Everyone will think everyone else stole their shit.

Up and tell people that you're leaving, NOW, don't give them a reason.

Get thumbnail. Poke holes in condoms

>>194003595
you won't find a true shy shitter in a public restroom unless pants shitting is imminent, in which case they're beyond giving a fuck who hears/smells it.

>>246024254255

Free Porno Passwords February Fresh, Come:
http://freepornosexpasses.tumblr.com/

>>63070212702!

>>194003752
learn 2 quote newfag

Whenever you stay at a hotel, draw pentagrams and shit in the bibles they give you.

piss in a shallow dish, freeze it over night, pop it through the mail slot of a random door.

it's here

http://www.zshare.net/download/72089630772d3118/

>>194004046

Do this.

http://www.fucktube.com/video/31352/beautiful-goth-in-fishnets-gives-a-deepthroat

piss on elvators

>>194004265
Dont seed torrents.

>>194003218
This. Also, wear a pink shirt, and pop your collar.

There was a garbage can outside every elevator entrance on this 12 story office building, right, so I took every garbage can and stuck em inside the elevator. Shit is so cash when people can't get in.

>>194003942
>>194003942
Youd think that would be true but I come across alot. Maybe its an ohio thing.

Walk into a store, pick up shitloads, and i mean SHITLOADS of stuff (heavy things will work just perfect, well doable at a tool store of some kind) and exit with it at the counter. Then, when they ask you to pay, be silent for a second, look awkward, and say you forgot to bring money with you.

Then walk out of the store as if nothing happened, so the people in the store can carry all the stuff back to the places again.

>>194003595

>whisper "im proud of you".

Oh god, I need to try this.

1. Obtain 3 or 4 chickens
2. release said chickens in movie theatre
3. lol

WHen I walk my dog, we have to use plastic baggies and pick up the dog shit.. which I dont have a problem with because I then smear it on something.. either a car, play ground equipment , benches, the tennis courts, railings, crossing light buttons, pretty much w/e people touch.

when hot girls is checking you out tell them they are to fat

anime-assault.com

gutturalsanity1

shake with your left hand only

>>194004678
saem here, but sometimes I just throw the bag onto someones roof or in an entryway.. its easy at night.

I once slipped a sizable load of diuretics into the coffee at work.

I didn't remember the bathrooms being full that day, but I DO remember a friend telling me that an intern wet her pants. Fucking awesome.

When you're in the middle of a sentence just stop.
As soon as they begin to respond loudly continue your sentence.
Once they begin to respond tell them that it's rude to interrupt when someone is talking.

This pisses people off more than they're willing to admit because it'll make them look like a crazy
person if they get angry.
Perfect way to be a total douche!

when i go to a fast food joint i always throw out the tray or the plate on the garbage lol

found it

http://www.zshare.net/download/7209073800b4175f/

go bowling in other people's lanes

attempt to purchase lobster at red lobster for pet, if they allow it(they wont) release with pincers activated in gas station toilet.
If not, throw bitch fit about how theyre going to boil it and demand to speak with manager. MAKE A SCENE
then request the lobster be cooked and served for free

SHit in a news paper, roll it and set it on fire at someone door then ring.
He will splatch the shit trying to kill the fire

>>194004591
this but use pigs and paint 1,2, and 4 on them.

>>194004591

Make it 3 chickens. Label them Chicken 1 Chicken 2 and Chicken 4

>>194004265
uncool, dude, so uncool...

>>194005351
>>194005354
done before they did it at a high school,
also hive mind

Share fat jokes to a fat person.

Say hi to someone online. Don't reply when they say hi back.

When crossing the street with a few other strangers, suddenly stop. This can cause them to stop also.

Acquire the toothbrush of someone you don't like. Give a homeless guy a few bucks to clean himself with it. Mouth, ears, armpits, groin, whatever. Take pictures while he's doing it.
Return the toothbrush and mail the pics to the owner a week later.

http://rapidshare.com/files/345349092/34564197.zip.html
thank me later

>>194005351
>>194005354
hivemind

>>584600274379

Free Porno Passwords February Fresh, Come:
http://freepornosexpasses.tumblr.com/

>>512442441684!

>>194005215
I GOTTA TRY THAT! Throw PETA or something in their face to make it better.

How to be a big douche bag:

Watch Jersey Shore.
Fist bump Jersey Shore.
Be Jersey Shore.
Live Jersey Shore.
Yo! Gel the hair and pop the collar, Jersey Shore.

>>194005589
lold so hard

go to omegle and just disconnect

>>194005450
>>194005611
hivemind

take a shit outside a niggers door, ring the bell and tell him that you just melted his kids.

i made my friend get suspended from school i made him laugh every time the teacher was talking and then teacher told him to get out of class then he started to bitch at the teacher claiming he did not do nothing so then he told her i was cracking jokes about niggers i was like hes a liar mam.

The most defining part of being a douchebag is showing no remorse. Even when called on your bullshit you cannot back down. Laugh, even.

Don't lie just to spare peoples feelings. Tell them what you think.

You can spit on everything. If there is a headwind and someone behind you, look up - spit.

Ignore people until it is clear without a shadow of doubt that they are trying to get your attention. Bonus points if you ignore them beyond this point.

Carry spare keys, break them off in locks and scratch things with them.

Smoke - but make a big deal out of it.

Walk slowly so people have to walk around you. Speed up and walk past them if you like and repeat.

If someone asks you the time, look at your watch and tell them you don't know. Or just the wrong time.

If the door to a public building can be locked from the inside without a key, lock it on your way in/out.

Be intentionally rude to people with shitty jobs such as sales assistants. I usually avoid doing this to people who make food, but if you aren't eating there go for it.

If you live somewhere that is is customary to tip, don't.

If a bum asks you for money, ask if he has change for a hundred.

Flip people off. They will spend the rest of the day wondering what they did.

Claim to have enjoyed twilight.


I hope I have been of some help.

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take girl out on date go to the bathroom sneak out and make her pay for food

When somebody is telling you a (boring) story, suddenly open your mouth wide, and have an exaggerated surprised expression on your face. Hold this expression during the whole conversation.

They will have trouble telling the rest of the story.

Something I always do:

Stranger: Excuse me, do you know what time it is?
Me: Yes, I know.
Stranger: .... well, could you tell me?
Me: Sure, I could do that.

And never tell them the time, eventually they might say something like "Well then say what time it is!" and then reply with "You're very rude, you could have asked nicely" and walk away.

Rage is imminent.

lol when someone asks you for directions give them the wrong directions P.S i always do this specially to euro tourists

These are more pranks than douchebag tips.

Walk up to random people on the street. Accuse them of something. Bitch Slap. Walk away.

Alternatively, you can walk up to someone, and yell out loudly for everyone in the area to have to look over "OH MY GOD ITS BEEN SO LONG" and improvise from there. plenty of opportunity to make them look like a douche

for you!

http://rapidshare.com/files/345362132/63445374.zip.html

>>194006765
/b/eggars cant be choosers

epic thread
must archieve

nowadays nobody remembers phone numbers. grab a friends phone and simply change numbers <-> names. especially funny when you know someone the person doesn't like. put his/her number in under some friends name. they end up calling them

>>194001902
>>194001949
>>194002253

Samefaggot

>>194006976
Wouldn't work on me, I've got the only 10 or so numbers I call memorized. I dial them myself whenever I call.

>>194007102
Put Anbesol or any other local anesthetic on someone's toothbrush.
Turn up the volume on floor model stereos to distortion level in department stores--bonus points for obnoxious jungle bunny music.
Go on BlogTV or a similar site; find as many black hosts as you can. Ask them what plantation they've escaped from. Tell them you've reported them to the seach parties.
Whilst driving, throw coins or liquids at opposing traffic.
At the supermarket, squeeze all the loaves of bread so that they need to be thrown out.
Go to an all-you-can-eat buffet. Stay for several hours eating multiple courses. Do not tip. Bonus points for jumping the check entirely.
Put liquor in a water bottle. Place it in a child's school bag.

>>194006976
archiving...
amidoinitrite?
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